Don't Punish Yourself When You Make Mistakes. Notice What You've Chosen And Simply Choose Again

Sometimes I Wish I Knew Better

Think about a recent mistake and consider how things could have turned out differently for you. Whilst hindsight is a wonderful faculty, it can often make us feel guilt and remorseful for our actions. I want to reassure you that every choice we make is made with the awareness and level of consciousness available to us at the time. However, this does not excuse us from repeating the same mistakes. We are the product of our thinking and until we expand our consciousness, we are bound to repeat our mistakes. That's where hindsight works to our advantage. With a new level of awareness, we can look forward to the future knowing we are not constrained by our mistakes but learn to make better decisions based on the past.

Many people make mistakes they regret. How about you? Are you still holding on to regret from the past or have you made peace with them? I realise it is difficult to let go of the past. But, we can take comfort knowing we did our best at the time and hopefully we won't repeat the same mistakes. This is why we mustn't punish ourselves but notice what we've chosen and simply choose again; this time more wisely. This is the advice echoed by Dr. Alex Lickerman who writes in The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self: "But we needn't waste time in recriminations or in wishing we could go back in time to change what happened. We can turn that hurt or regret into a catalyst for personal growth, into motivation for examining the reasons we made the choice in the first place and for asking ourselves how we might change to avoid making the same mistake again." I've made countless mistakes in my 20s about my health and career choices. Sometimes I wish I knew better, however I didn't have the awareness as I do now and was choosing to the best of my ability. In a recent conversation with a coaching client, she complimented me on my wisdom to help her overcome her challenges. As I considered the compliment, it reminded me of the countless mistakes I made over the years. In fact, gaining wisdom has little to do with the books I read, the courses attended or the people I surround myself with. Whilst they are important, it was the numerous mistakes I made, and the lessons gained that cultivated good judgement.

It Is About Finding Clarity

Can you reflect on earlier mistakes that contributed to your personal growth? Sometimes we experience growth while other times we are destined to repeat the same mistakes until we receive a wake-up call. Nothing teaches us valuable lessons other than life's experience. No matter how often you feel obligated to help a loved one through a crisis, ultimately they must learn the lessons on their own. My experience as a coach and speaker shows that people are not ready to receive advice unless they ask or pay for it. I mention this because we ought to refrain from giving advice on how others should live their life or overcome their problems. In fact, the best thing we can do is listen to their problems with an open mind and help them gain clarity on the situation. If you've ever worked with a coach or mentor, you will notice they ask many questions and seldom give advice. Rather, they help you gain clarity on your issues and lead you towards self-enquiry, so you are better equipped to find the answers yourself.

Considering this, think back to an earlier time when you faced a difficult challenge and consulted other people. Perhaps you received conflicting advice at the time? In those instances, did you find your own solution or rely on the advice given? Similarly, if you followed the advice, did it work out in your favour? If you arrived at the solution yourself, were you more empowered as a result? It is my experience, the answers to our most pressing problems are always contained within us, yet we don't have enough clarity to recognise it or put it into action. We get stuck on life being a certain way and if it doesn't eventuate as we expect, we get angry and disillusioned. What we ought to do is keep searching for answers and work with our intuition to make sense of the situation. It is a matter of consulting the guidance we receive and interpreting it through logic. In light of this, return to the recent mistake I asked you about at the beginning of the article. Contemplate the following questions: What do I need to learn about this situation? What is this experience calling me to understand about myself or life? Where is the growth contained within this experience? Assuredly, when we pose empowering questions, we align ourselves with the right solutions instead of feeling disempowered. Punishing yourself when you make mistakes does not serve you other than to reinforce a despairing mindset. We must notice what we've chosen then ask empowering questions, so we are destined not to repeat those mistakes.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Dont-Punish-Yourself-When-You-Make-Mistakes.-Notice-What-Youve-Chosen-And-Simply-Choose-Again&id=10096005

This Is The Key To Living Beyond Your Fears And Embracing A World Of Wonder

Fear Is Feedback

Fear defines us, whether we like it or not.

It establishes a foothold deep within our psyche where it perpetuates as the oppressor of hopes and dreams.

Not because it wants to, but because the energy it maintains is one of despair. It is akin to a terrifying dream that never ends, only growing in intensity.

Fear is a dictator that grows louder because of the energy it receives. What starts out as a voice of reason, can accompany you throughout life if you're unaware.

"Fear rips us from freedom. It is the destroyer of greatness. We know this, and we know we should tame our mind in order to defeat fear," writes author Brendon Burchard in The Motivation Manifesto.

It is the unpopular kid at school who loiters around you during recess. Sure, you might feel sorry for him initially, but he is constantly there by your side.

Surely life is more than succumbing to our fears?

I know people who are not defined by their fears. They are renegades, adventurers and aspirants who don't allow fear to dull their experience of life.

What do they know that others don't?

Wonder.

The fearless amongst us have a sense of wonder and adventure. They approach life as an experiment and are curious about the world. Their passion and enthusiasm is central to facing their fears.

Fear is not something that stops them, but promotes them. It is feedback that signals something within their psyche they must confront. They realise when their fears intrude on their way of life, it is because they're taking great strides in pursuit of their dreams and goals, and so it is natural to be terrified.

They use fear to promote their agenda instead of letting it defeat them. Most people are consumed by their fears because they believe the narrative it promotes.

"Fear, largely, is a waste of good life, one of the most capable thieves of presence," writes Jan Frazier in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is.

Fear is an emotion, just like other emotions. Granted, it has a stronger intensity than other emotions but it was never intended to stop us in our tracks, only to provide feedback on our actions.

Conquer Your Fears

I invite you to become curious in the face of your fears. Investigate them, reason with them but don't buy into the narrative they espouse. Don't let it be a one-sided conversation because you have power, even in the face of your fears.

"Fear was given to us as a motive to avoid physical harm and death. That is it. We are the ones who have perverted it into a tool for the ego's protection," explains Brendon Burchard.

The secret to living beyond your fears is to approach them with curiosity while observing your reaction. So, if you fear asking your boss for a pay rise because he or she might say no, what small step can you take to overcome this fear?

You might compile a list of your achievements and highlight why you are due a pay rise, given the value you bring to the company.

Leverage your fears and you'll discover the essence of your character. Assuredly, if you listen intently there is a subtle message guiding you to scale your fears. By listening closely, you come to understand the language of your fears.

The more you know something, the better you are at taking inspired action to overcome it. Through a sense of wonder you'll conquer your fears because for most people fear is a STOP sign.

However, to the initiated fear is a PROMOTE sign, offering important clues about your inner psyche.

Wonder what it's like to walk in to your boss's office and ask for a pay rise.

Wonder how they respond in kind and grant your request.

Wonder, since anything is possible. You paralyse your fears and silence your doubts when you consider all possibilities.

Use your sense of wonder to rise above your fearful thoughts, because wonder is an agreeable emotion. It is neutral and inquisitive.

Let it take hold and move you toward your hopes, dreams and highest aspirations. Let no fear keep you down or stifle your greatness.

After all, it is the same phenomenon seen in the sunset that holds the key to living beyond your fears - a sense of wonder.



http://ezinearticles.com/?This-Is-The-Key-To-Living-Beyond-Your-Fears-And-Embracing-A-World-Of-Wonder&id=9782658

Making Good Choices

Daily, our choices make us who we are. What, where and who we are is the sum of all those choices added together to right now. Now is such an important concept. Now is the only time that you have the chance to go out and get exactly what you are looking to achieve. There is no promise of tomorrow. To do this you must realize you have everything you need right now. Stop waiting for that something to happen because it never will until you make it happen.

Goals are meant to be achieved. This fruit that we bear because someone has dreamt. The way to achieve the goal is by going after the challenges. Decide that you are going to start today. The best way to do this is to build your mind. The best way to build your mind is to learn. Books, mentors, seminars, conferences and everyday life has a beautiful offering of ways to learn.

We are all given challenges. Those challenges are meant to be overcome. Know in your heart of hearts that you can achieve. These obstacles are the hard parts of life that become beautiful memories. Even in death. Think to someone you knew. When you think of them bring to the surface the great memories you have of them. Know those people that have come before wanting us to move forward in the best fashion. That means to live your life fully no matter what. Do not let their passing go unnoticed. You are perfect to know the lesson those people wanted to share with the world. Share their message.

Our actions will prove what direction that we want to go. Act. Think. Act again. Be the best that you can be. There are no more excuses to be sitting around. Are people calling you insane by your actions? Then you aren't succeeding unless that answer is yes. I enjoy acting. You will enjoy acting. We must put in the work together to become the person we know is inside.

Your dreams? Do you have dreams? Guess what? That dream is yours. Stop coming up with excuses. Write that book. Make that music. Build that company. Network until you make it happen. Invest everything you must become the person you want to become. Time, money and effort are only human thoughts. Do what you must to make your dream come into this life and humanity will thank you for it.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Making-Good-Choices&id=9825603

Message From the Universe: I Am by Your Side

"Of all your enumerable friends, not one of them loves you more than I love you, right this very moment.

Xxxxoooo, 

The Universe"

At least you are being loved right? In this very large Universe of ours, and that does not include the Multiverse theory which might, possibly, have parallel Universes out there, we feel like totally alone among the 7.1 billion people sharing planet Earth. It can be difficult to comprehend how can we have impact among people in our direct environment. We all have a big impact, even though we may feel small or insignificant. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito in the room. If you don't think that is true, then what is? We all have somewhat of an impact on people's live, even if it feels like we do not. Every of our actions, our behavior, our attitude, our participation, our generosity, and everything else you can do to change the world will make a difference. Never underestimate yourself. You are definitely making a change.

It can be hard to track who reads your blog or posts you write every single day, in a regular and constant basis. I write because it is therapeutic and it helps me cope with my own personal problems and potentially helps someone else living a similar situation as me. I do not write just because I know how many readers will follow me or comment on my post. That is irrelevant to me and should be for you as well.

Regardless if people read your post or not, sharing your knowledge is something that you should do and put it out there for someone to read. You are using your blog to express yourself and if it can help others, that is a great benefit. It doesn't matter if you have 100 likes or 1 like, what matters is exposing your talents and sharing for the greater good of society. You are not being judged by the amount of likes but preferably by the quality of your post. Never compare yourself to other posts that have 1000 likes but no depth or quality in the content. Most readers are interested in drama and stupidity. You want to attract the real readers. That's what counts after all.

You are being loved by the people that count, and not for the quantity, but the quality.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-I-Am-by-Your-Side&id=9635844

Taking 100% Responsibility (By Mandy Buchanan)

A couple of years ago I read Jack Canfield's "Success Principles" book and the first principle he mentioned was taking responsibility. Now at the time I was just busy working through an abusive relationship where a lot of people may have told me "It's not your fault", "you did nothing wrong" and yes there were lots of things I was not responsible for - I was the one being abused not the abuser; but one thing I realized through reading this book is that unless we take responsibility for our lives and our actions, no matter what the circumstances then we will always be the victim and never get where we want to go in life.

Taking Responsibility No Matter What

Now, you may have been through a similar relationship as me, you might even be in it right now and you say "it wasn't my fault he hit me", "it wasn't my fault he tried to kill me", and no these things weren't your fault but you do need to take responsibility for getting into the relationship in the first place, for choosing to stay with them despite the abuse, and you need to take responsibility for getting out of the situation and getting healed. I know, I've been there and today I really am out of it and a happy and healthy person who feels like those things almost happened to somebody else because I chose to take responsibility no matter what and turn my life around. No matter what you are going through you have to take responsibility for your decisions and your actions or inaction or you will forever be the victim.

Taking Responsibility for Your Success

Perhaps you have led a fairly 'normal' life - no abuse, no dramatic negative events but are you still taking responsibility for your success? Beyond taking responsibility for turning around negative circumstances and getting healing we all need to take responsibility for our own success. Our success is based on our actions, inactions, and even our thoughts. We can't blame anyone else if things don't turn out the way we planned. We need to take responsibility for our part in our success. Even when things do go wrong beyond our ability to control we still have the responsibility of choosing how we will react to those events and how we react will often ultimately lead to our success or failure. No matter how many times things go wrong beyond our control we still have the choice to get back up and carry on and refuse to quit.

No matter what point you are at in your life unless you take full responsibility for where you are and where you are going then you will not get there. Today I choose to let go of negative things that happened in my past and I choose to make my life what I want it to be. It is my responsibility just like your life is your responsibility, nobody can do it for you. No matter what you have been through life can still be exactly what you want it to be if you are prepared to take responsibility and make the choices that will get you there.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Taking-100%-Responsibility&id=9628077

Regrets: How You Can Overcome Them

"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done". 

Lucille Ball

Many a time, you have your mind locked up in regrets over some actions or in-actions. May be some things you had done or those you should have done, are making you feel some regrets. Such feelings can be dangerous, because they will slow down of activities. Whoever says that the mind is not central to mobility is deceptive or out-rightly ignorant. The state of the mind at any point in time, affects body psyches and gestures.

Regrets are serious burdens on the mind. They are very similar to the heavy load on the head which retards speed and makes destinations very distant. Harbouring regrets can overturn happiness, excitement and smiles within a twinkle of the eye; sadness, moodiness and frowns set in. The aftermath could be inimical to progress and the future.

The simple reality is that nobody can help you as yourself. You must get the motivation to move away from that spot. You must find the inspiration to break loose and get going. This can be a bit hard. However, getting locked down is worse. The following are tips to help you overcome your regrets:

1. Determine the nature. 

Our people often say that a problem known is half-solved. You must, first, identify what precisely is the cause of the regret. Is it something you had done or not? Is it private, domestic, official, social, or otherwise? Does it have to do with a relation or a relationship? Since man cannot stay in isolation, you are bound to be in interactions at anytime and all the time. Determining your source of regret will surely help know where and how to start the rebuilding process. It is the most primary and fundamental step.

2. Seek forgiveness and make amends. 

There are two stages under this step. You have to, first of all, ask yourself for forgiveness. If your mind, by extension, your heart, is not willing to let go, it could be hard to move on. After you would have determined the cause of your regret, you have to make peace with your troubled heart. Your body system must realize that life is progressive; this situation will pass away. Often times, some of our actions and in-actions add-up to our bag of experience. The second is to ask for the forgiveness of those affected. This is, without doubt, the hardest stage. Do not let pride deprive of the fullness of life. If you do not get this done with you may not get over your regret.

3. Take responsibility and accept the circumstances. 

You must be ready to take responsibility for all circumstances there-in. Happiness comes from total resignation to fate. For you to make amends there is need to accept responsibility. Do not engage in blaming others for what should be your responsibility. Stop it! Do not pass the buck. This will never start the rebuilding process. Even, when you know that others had a thing or two to do with your regret, forgiving and forgetting will never kill. If you wait on them, they can inflict more harm and deeper regret. Your desire for happiness is more important than insisting they are problems.

4. Deal with bad relationships. 

When other people are actually your reasons for regrets, learn to deal with them. For example, a love relationship you had invested so much in, but your partner is reciprocating far less than required. In fact, you are already out of the trip by virtue of your own decision. You had dealt with it and you have to move on. A case when you cannot avoid seeing or coming in contact with such a person, pray and work hard to put him/her in his/her place. A fruitless tree, it is often said, should be cut down; not in all cases. What if you do not have the "axe" for that kind of strenuous work? You could do well by just passing by it and not giving attention. Sooner or later, the wound will heal and you become a normal person.

5. Go through the mourning period. 

It could be good for you to allow the situation to occur freely and naturally. Regrets are part of the natural circles that carry along with them feelings of guilt, sadness and even anger. Your ability to handle the passage of these feelings, often termed as negative, strengthens you, without mincing words. Is it not absurd to be happy all the times of life? It is not even possible. Life throws us up, down, right and left. We learn everyday in this expansive classroom. So, do not run away from regrets, you could come out stronger and happier.

6. Identify the lessons and gains. 

There will be a lesson to learn or an important thing to gain after overcoming your regrets. Experience can never be bought; life gives ample opportunities for you to gain one thing or the other. You just cannot afford to shy away from such significant reality. You, also, had to pass an examination before you gained that promotion or certification. Taking stocks is very good. There must have been some things you had learnt or gained that will come in handy for the future. Please, this is very important, as you do not want to fall prey again to similar predating circumstances. Once beaten, they say, is twice shy.

7. Take care of the future. 

The future is key to your existence and your present circumstances can damage it. You must try as much as you can to avoid letting your regret re-emerge in the future. Documenting your experience and, ultimately, your regret(s) can serve as reminders. Some people keep diaries while others attach symbols or landmarks to signify points of regret(s). Whatever methods you utilize, however, do not let it be a source recollection of bad memories. The idea is just for you to avoid having this kind of regret again in the future; it can be devastating.

In your passionate desire to live life to the fullest; to enjoy as much as you can, your inner self, carries a string of connecting information of those things you will have engaged in. How you manage this information, which are your experiences, determines your progress. Regrets are surely part of these experiences. You just cannot do nothing other than understanding how to manage them. They are part of you! They are part of your life!

"I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences... I'm human, not perfect, like anybody else". 

Queen Latifah

http://ezinearticles.com/?Regrets:-How-You-Can-Overcome-Them&id=9290241

The Thought That Resonates

Vibration. The most powerful force there is. It seems to work like magic, but it is not. It is what we with our free will create from the ground up through our actions upon reality. Like something being built, our vibrations create what we are and what we do. Sure, we can say something like "it just happened to be" or "there is not any explanation", but we would be lying to ourselves so fully that we would not know anything that is going on in any way unless we do admit that it all does come down to vibration.

Sure, that is blunt reality, but what else does matter in any way? Nothing else does. I remember Paramahansa Yogananda and his quote: "Every human wish finds ultimate fulfillment." I see what he meant now, and the way he meant it: I think he should have said that every genuine vibration from the ground up meets ultimate fulfillment. Actions from a deep place are always somehow fulfilled. Have you ever noticed that? Only the shallowest actions are like the low tide of the ocean, doing nothing but making a little temporarily wet sand on the beach that dries normally. In thought, every genuinely energetic from the inside person is a strong vibration like positive tsunami waves that blow across a beach powerfully and memorably. Real power is controlling your vibrations fully without let up or fear of what others think.

Although Abraham Lincoln was a politician, he had one valuable quote: "People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." He was right about that. The power is always in the reality though. With thought and concentrated action on that thought, all things are possible. We are as happy and honest as we make up our minds to be really. The virtue of life is in living and not avoiding it. So many live by what others think and think that they are living when they find they skipped what they really wanted in life. The love of life makes you vibrate strongly to what you genuinely and really want and need. In fact, I can honestly say that is the real championship of it all, that genuine, permanent happiness that works for you. Not some outer trophy, or even an ultimate win on the outside, but to borrow the Dr. Bert Mandelbaum, M.D. book title for a moment: The Win Within. So, I end with a couple of questions: How do you live your life? Are you an inner driven person or an outer driven person? Do not answer me, answer yourself.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Thought-That-Resonates&id=9122841

Science Says You Should Do This One Thing Every Night Before You Go to Bed

Could it be that how we end our day is just as important as how we start it? Yes -- it's true.

How we begin our days usually takes center stage in planning. We have to wake up, prepare--both mentally and physically--and get into the groove of things. It's been ingrained into us that breakfast is the most important meal, that we must make sure to take a couple deep breaths, and even do some visualization exercises before leaving the house.

Yet, could it be that how we end our days is just as important as how we start them?

Turns out, that might just be the case. Although there's great value in getting up on the right side of the bed, there's also just as much merit in ensuring we take our time before hitting the hay for the night.

So, what's the one thing every single one of us should be doing before letting our bodies rest for another day?

Writing down what happened.

Although journaling seems tedious--and, at times a bit rudimentary--it can be an incredibly helpful way to compartmentalize our thoughts without realizing it. When we go through the highs and lows of each event encountered during the course of a day, we don't simply recount the facts--we offer our commentary as well.

What we say about each event--whether we felt frustrated or jealous or exuberant or nervous--ultimately tells us a lot more about ourselves than what we actually did. As easy as it is to forget, we are not what we do.

We are, instead, what we make of our actions.

Journaling has been proven to be a very therapeutic exercise. It gives us the chance to sort out our opinions and reflections and to learn from what's past and look forward to what's next. Psychologists at the University of Texas in Austin have even gone as far as saying that journaling strengthens T-lymphocytes, which play a crucial role in cellular immune response.

Scientific evidence has also touched upon the roles the different sides of the brain play in writing things down.

The left side of the brain is graced by logic--using your rational and analytical skills to decipher what exactly occurred today. The right side is governed by creativity, instead allowing you to feel and create. When we journal, both sides of our brain are engaged, reaching prime cranial potential right before you nod off for the night.

Before you go to bed tonight, pick up a pen and a piece of paper--and just write. How much better you feel when you wake just might startle you.

http://www.inc.com/peter-economy/science-says-do-this-one-thing-every-night-before-you-go-to-bed.html