The Perils Of Comparison (By Tim Connor)

I can't tell you how many people I have met during my world travels when only after a few minutes of conversation they started comparing themselves to someone or something else. A competitor, a celebrity, a fellow employee or even someone they didn't even know.

Why do we need personal validation by comparison? Why do we need to feel better or worthier than others? And why can't we accept who we are, what we have accomplished, our flaws and mistakes, our failures and disappointments without the ego's need to compare and look better than others?

As a global speaker for many years I have observed this trait is especially true of many people in my profession, but believe me - we are not unique. I can't tell you how many business people I have met who have to tell some story about who they are better than, smarter than and/or more accomplished than others they know and even those they don't know in some way.

Trust me - you don't have to be the smartest, best looking, wealthiest or most famous person in the room to feel good about yourself. So why are so many people stuck in this comparison mode whether subtly or overtly "in your face"?

Not to brag here (that is not my intent) but I want to make a simple statement - during my career as an international bestselling author (over 80 books) and a global speaker (25 countries) my intent and goal was never fame and let me state that I have been very successful in achieving this goal. Go ahead laugh.

Life is not about what others think of you or you think of others. And if it is - trust me you will never find contentment, inner peace or happiness because there will always be someone out there smarter, better and wealthier etc. than you in some way - always!

Have you ever noticed that when people generally compare themselves to others they either use someone less successful or someone who they can criticize whether this person deserves it or not?

I can also tell you that many of my heroes - to mention just a few - Og Mandino, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Jesus, Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa and Charlie Tremendous Jones - comparison was not in their DNA.

What they all had in common was the humility and the desire to contribute in their own special way to the value of humanity and life in general.

Let me ask you - have you ever compared yourself to others to try and convince yourself that you were better in some way or just to make yourself feel OK about yourself? Come on - be honest here.

Why do we need to compare? Is it insecurity, an overcharged ego, the need for approval, the desire to please or simply the fact that we can't admit that we all have flaws and/or weaknesses in our thoughts, actions, decisions and behaviors in some way?

I challenge you for the next couple of weeks as you talk with others to observe their comparisons or your own during conversations and then ask yourself - why? Why do I need to do this? Why do they need to do this? Try it you will be amazed at how frequently we are all guilty of this simple yet rather stupid trait. Stupid you say Tim? Yep, cause what do you think you really accomplish with all of these comparisons?

More or less respect? More or less fame? More or less self-satisfaction? More or less something_______? Sorry!

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Perils-Of-Comparison&id=9865687

IF YOU'RE Too Quick To Judge WATCH THIS | Jay Shetty

Hero Worship - Good for Spiritual Health?

Superman along with other hero figures such as Spiderman and Batman have grabbed my young grandsons' attention. They are crime fighting superheroes with a moral compass acting with super-powers for the benefit of humanity.

What makes Superman a hero is not that he has power, but that he has the wisdom and the maturity to use the power wisely. From an acting point of view, that's how I approached the part. (actor, Christopher Reeve)

I have the impression today the heroes are more violent than in the past. However, I recognise these all-action figures are very popular today judging by the plethora of superhero films. But are they good role models to identify with?

As a boy, I watched over 200 television episodes of The Lone Ranger. He was a fictional masked former Texas ranger who fought outlaws in the American Old West. I loved his energy and bravery in fighting against crime for what was right. Whenever he was forced to use guns, he never shot to kill, but instead tried to disarm his opponent as painlessly as possible.

I also saw over 140 episodes of the television series The Adventures of Robin Hood. Here was another boyhood hero. According to legend, he was a champion of the common people. Being a brilliant archer and swordsman, he fought injustice with courage and audacity. He was said to rob the rich to give to the poor.

I wonder what effect these programmes had on me. Was having a hero a healthy thing for my development?

The hero as inspiring role model

Heroes certainly touch our hearts and fill us with warm approval. We can identify with them.

If we need courage to face real hardships in life, then perhaps having a strong hero image within our heads can be helpful? For myself I'm thinking of the hero who has emotional resilience.

After polling a number of people, Professor Scott T. Allison of the University of Richmond, discovered that heroes are perceived to be highly moral, highly competent, or both. More specifically, heroes are believed to possess eight traits. They are said to be smart, strong, resilient, selfless, caring, charismatic, reliable, and inspiring. Apparently, it is unusual for a hero to possess all eight of these characteristics, but most heroes have a majority of them.

Heroes tend to care about what is good. They get involved with dangerous situations despite personal cost. They do this without wanting any gain for themselves.

For example the writer Fran Striker conceived the Lone Ranger character as believing that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world. He wrote that God put the firewood there but that every man must gather and light it himself. The Lone Ranger exemplified the idea that one should be prepared physically, mentally, and morally to fight when necessary for what is right.

Hero worship

We might question excessive admiration of any one individual. Whether it be a fictional, legendary or an actual person. Benito Mussolini in Italy in the 1920s created the political cult of personality, also emulated by Adolf Hitler in Germany and Joseph Stalin in Russia. This cult phenomena arose when those in power in these three countries created an idealized, heroic, and venerated image of the leader. They used unquestioning flattery and praise. They employed the techniques of mass media, propaganda, the big lie, spectacle, the arts, patriotism, and government-organized demonstrations and rallies to do this.

Should we not pause before welcoming some idolised hero into our lives? What is it is about the hero that we admire? Is it their charismatic leadership in creating a sense of social cohesion and social order? Or are they giving us permission to discriminate and hate.

Living in the 18th century spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg wrote about idolatry in terms of the worship of anyone or anything that reflects a prioritising of self-interest, pleasure and material things rather than feeling concern for others and things of the spirit. From what he wrote about idolatry, I would understand we should not idolise our heroes but pay attention to the good things the hero represents.

The hero as metaphor

One might argue that actually most heroes have potential benefit to us. This is because they are figurative images within our own mind. Ones that encourage us to reconsider our decisions and view of life. Isn't conformity to social convention sometimes a problem? For example if it means extravagance keeping up with the Jones' or conformity to superficial sentiment. Deeper reflection, inspired by a hero image, can offset the risk of our personal choices going along with the crowd.

We all are beset to some degree or other by a hidden side to our nature - a shadowy part of our psyche plagued by anxiety, weakness, or anger. Those with psychological courage venture into this underworld of the psyche and face what is there. And do something about it. The hero defeats the 'baddie'. We need to find the hero within ourselves. It is easy to fight the 'enemy out there'. Harder to recognise the 'enemy within' - one that is not a projection but rather a shadowy part of oneself.

Hard times don't create heroes. It is during the hard times when the 'hero' within us is revealed. (Bob Riley, former Governor of Alabama)

https://ezinearticles.com/?Hero-Worship---Good-for-Spiritual-Health?&id=10005350

It's Only A Mistake

Do you find it hard to admit to yourself, or to others, that you made a mistake? Or, when you do make a mistake, do you beat yourself up mercilessly and give yourself no slack for it? Do you judge others who make mistakes and give little space for their humanity?

The reality which none of us like to admit is that all of us make mistakes. If we didn't, that would mean that we were perfect, and perfectionism does not exist here on earth. We're all human. Some of us may attempt to strive for perfection, however this is an unrealistic goal.

It Wasn't Me

So many of my clients, and the people that I come in contact with, struggle with admitting mistakes. Some may be challenged by either judging one's self, or others, for mistakes, or by not being able to take ownership of one's own mistakes.

• Do you find yourself blaming others for your mistakes?

o I would not have made that mistake if...

o It's not my fault. If my boss didn't...

o If only my partner hadn't...

• Do you measure your self worth by the number of mistakes you make, or not make? Is it hard to simply own a mistake and say,

o "I'm sorry, I'll try to do better next time."

Being the Bigger Person

I was inspired to write this article when I heard about the mistake that was made recently on the Oscars announcing the incorrect best picture of the year. The graciousness of the "La La Land" Producer, Jordan Horowitz, impressed many. When he was informed that the coveted award was not his, he simply stated, "I'm sorry, there's a mistake, 'Moonlight', you guys won best picture. I'm going to be very proud to hand this to my friends from, 'Moonlight.'"

He didn't seek someone to blame, but instead acted incredibly courteous in a moment that had to have brought much disappointment to him, and the rest of the cast. Would you, or I, have been able to act with the same cordiality in such a moment? That may be determined, in part, by the environment, and the people, who raised us.

Placing Blame

What we were taught as a child, an adolescent, or an adult, about mistakes helps to shape our beliefs about them. We must first consider, when growing up, what we were taught about mistakes. Was it communicated verbally, or non-verbally, that it is okay and human to make a mistake? Or were you ridiculed, or punished, for them?

Methods in which we might judge ourselves, or others, may be overt, or covert, and may also be quite subtle to the point that we aren't aware of our behavior.

Oops, I made a mistake

As an adult do you find that the people in your life-partner, friend, or family, have little tolerance for mistakes and you are always apologizing, explaining, or feeling terrible or not good enough? Do you recognize any of these ways of communicating that a mistake has occurred? Consider whether you think such words to yourself, say them to others, or someone in your life says something like this to you.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Its-Only-A-Mistake&id=9663276

Let Your Words Heal

Have you really thought about the power you have to either inspire or uplift yourself and others around simply by the words you use? Do you realize that words can either propel you to achieve excellence in everything that you do or hold you down from even trying anything at all?

Words - whether written or spoken - are the most powerful force on earth because not only are they the hallmark of our humanity, they are also used to create and communicate ideas that can either make or break us, both as individuals or as institutions. Indeed, words are the kindling energy that shapes our thoughts, fuels our actions and creates reactions in others. As a result of this, every word we speak or write produces an effect in the world even though we are oblivious of the positive or negative effect these words have on ourselves and the people around us.

Actually, most of us take words for granted by failing to realize that words are the most powerful tools with which we use to influence others, either negatively or positively. We do not understand that the constant usage and application of negative words lower self-esteem and destroy the joy of living; while well-chosen positive words on the other hand motivate, encourage, as well as propel us to gain greater heights in life. This is to say that nothing positive (good) can come from being negative (bad). However, for the benefit of those who may still think or feel otherwise, here is what the Bible says about the value of well-chosen words: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."- Proverbs 15:1

In light of the above, rather than use words to hurt, abuse, ridicule, distort, disrespect, misguide, demoralize, defile, curse, humiliate, damn, destroy and hate - use words to heal, praise, compliment, beautify, respect, direct, motivate, purify, bless, educate, salvage, build and love. Certainly, the result of habitually using or applying positive words in our daily interactions with one another is greatly beneficial and more pleasing to humanity; because by doing so, we can actually overcome despair with hope, hate with love, failure with success, wickedness with compassion, impurity with purity, injustice with justice, weakness with strength, division with unity, selfishness with generosity, fear with faith, corruption with integrity, war with peace, and ultimately, evil with good. Simply put, through well-chosen words, you can become a dealer of hope in a world that is filled with fear, doubt, and anxiety.

Moreover, the continued cultivation and apprehension of such a worthy aspiration is far better than just complaining about the wrong things of this World, and practically doing nothing to change them. As a matter of fact, you can become part of the solution to the problems devastating many nations by making a conscious and consistent effort to always choose your words wisely and carefully, knowing that these words will surely have a positive and lasting impact on you and the people you interact with every day. And while you are at it, do not hesitate to encourage, urge or challenge those around you to continue emulating this meaningful act until our world becomes an interwoven web of positive words. Imagine what a beautiful world it would be!

Allow me to quickly add that just as God Almighty who is the maker of all heavenly and earthly things, created us in His image and likeness with words, so do we all possess the ability to create our world and determine our destinies with words, as well... So let your words heal and not hurt!

Let your words...

... accentuate positives

... herald truths

... spread love

... cultivate peace

... enrich lives

... uplift souls

... proffer solutions

... uphold justice

... empower people

... unite nations

... give hope

... create wealth

... apply wisdom

... share knowledge

... deploy joy

... break barriers

... exceed expectations

... open doors

... fulfill needs

... foster prosperity

... encourage patience

... exhibit courage

... embrace charity

... embody compassion

... honor humanity

... heighten happiness

... promote wellness

... express gratitude

... evoke empathy

... extol excellence

... enhance success

... laud integrity

... generate ideas

... add value

... transmit courage

... preserve civilization

But most importantly, let your words praise and worship God, always.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Let-Your-Words-Heal&id=9142885

Money Mindsets - The Rich, The Poor & The Lost!

Once while I was attending a motivational talk session on wealth creation, the keynote speaker made a bold pronouncement by saying that; 'money is a defense, and therefore, the lack of it is an offence.' Suddenly the entire atmosphere was arrested by a cacophony of noise as a section of the audience who agreed with the speaker's statement applauded loudly and nodded encouragingly at him, while another section showed their disapproval with a disgruntled uproar. With this, the house became divided and turned into an unnecessary debate that went on for several minutes until the speaker was compelled to rephrase his statement in order to save time. Make of this story what you will, but on that very day I came to a logical conclusion that there are three different mindsets which basically determines how human beings perceive money, and arguably, they can be characterized as Rich-Minds, Poor-Minds, and Lost-Minds.

Rich-Minds are selfless and purposeful people who know that by prospering they can genuinely contribute meaningfully to humanity, so they view money as a necessary means to accomplish that end, and not as an end itself. And because they fully understand that money is the globally accepted agent for value exchange, they diligently strive to create wealth for the sole purpose of advancing their chief aim in life. In fact, for these people, money without purpose is nothing. They are givers, builders, righteous, believers, peacemakers, lovers, generous, charitable, dreamers, achievers, bold, authentic, and original... Follow them for they are the crusaders of good money and long-term gains!

On the other side of the divide are Poor-Minds who are selfish and greedy because of their flawed mentality about real prosperity. According to them, making and having money perpetually is the main essence for human existence so they must continue to amass wealth at any cost. They worship money, and are prepared to sell their souls in pursuit of it, because, in their own order of relevance, the love of money is far greater than the need for purpose and significance in life. And so, for these people, money is the purpose for everything. They are takers, destroyers, criminals, deceivers, war mongers, exploiters, stingy, schemers, corruptible, desperate, fraudsters, claimers, fake, and superficial... Avoid them for they are proponents of quick money and short-term profits!

But observing lazily from the sidelines, in a critical and judgmental manner, are the Lost-Minds who care less because they feel that money is the ultimate problem of this world. They falsely believe that money is evil and so every struggle for it, whether for good or for bad, must surely lead to hell. Moreover, their spirits lack a vital element of life which is purpose, and for this reason, they are blinded by the fogs of scarcity and jealousy to the extent that they lack the ability to see any need for wealth, and thus, they never achieve anything meaningful or significant in life. In short, these people believe that there is no purpose for money in anything. They are receivers, critiques, naysayers, dream-killers, doubters, haters, beggars, ill-wishers, vulnerable, timid, drifters, blamers, undefined, and controversial... Ignore them because even though they advocate for a world with no money, they still have an acute sense of entitlement!

So obviously, money can be good, can be bad, or, can be nothing. This is because money on its own is neutral; however, it is the means by which we seek, chase, manage or use it that can either be harmful or helpful. Similarly, what gives money its energy, power and potency are our perceptions, interpretations, intentions, actions and reactions toward it. Of which, money can be used to accomplish more good than evil if most of our pursuits in life are meaningful and significant based on the values of integrity and honesty. By creating and having more good wealth, we can help more families, build more homes, put food on more tables, educate more people, heal more patients, fund more businesses, create more job opportunities, donate to more charities, support more worthy causes, do more projects, find more solutions to many human problems, etc. In any case, it is crucially important to note that amidst all the confusion about the need, the love and the lack of money, our financial hardships or the lack of them, has absolutely nothing to do with money itself, but everything to do with our Money Mindsets.

A Rich-Mind, a Poor-Mind, or, a Lost-Mind - decide now, once and for all, which one is best for you to have!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Money-Mindsets---The-Rich,-The-Poor-and-The-Lost!&id=9484661

Happiness Is Easily Achieved If You Have Humility and Empathy for Humanity, Unprompted, of Course

Finding ways to be content is easily achieved, especially if you apply humility along with appreciation. In my observation, you gain more satisfaction through the accomplishment of small deeds. When compounded, small deeds, added to the overall scope to be reviewed, provides the most reason for gratitude and thankfulness.

When small deeds and feats get measured collectively, it's the small details that bring major success. For example: Your husband buys pizza for dinner-on his way home from work, unprompted, wow, that's really cool... That is an example of a small deed that rendered major success and appreciation, right ladies? Another example: The service that comes to your home and picks up your recycle items, and old furniture, actually came into your house and picked up the heavy couch and carried it out for you! That was really very kind and helpful! The last time that I checked, I could not carry out a couch by myself- my spouse was at work! That deed really, really made me happy and I was grateful all day!

Can you name a few deeds that you received, or that you did,which brought you a lot of joy or happiness? How about cooking dinner for your retired, next door neighbor? Or, helping a senior citizen pack their groceries into their car? That my friend will probably bring you more heartfelt joy and good karma than even you can expect! Your emotions are through the moon with joy and gratitude! You feel almost as much joy as if you had reaped the benefit from doing something helpful or joyful for another kind, good- natured soul. Just so you are aware and know- there is always a higher road to take to bring joy into the interactions you have with others, during the course of your day!

* It takes just a few minutes or even seconds to lend a helping hand to someone else besides family and friends. ~ Random acts of unprompted kindness is really showcasing your good nature, nobody else notices, but you know that you helped someone- THAT's humanity at its finest! Acting and conducting themselves in kindness, expecting NO reciprocal benefit is truly an unselfish gift! Have you even fathomed that your acts of kindness can have a domino-effect on the energy, and the people in your everyday life? It's true! Children watch what adults do and they tend to mimic or emulate most, if not all of your deeds. Doing kind deeds is a good example for children to see, they may be prompted to want to duplicate, or recreate, even when nobody else is around!~

Random acts of kindness can be done at the drop of a hat. Give someone at the grocery store line, holding one item, your place in line, especially if they are directly behind you... Wouldn't you want for someone else to do the same kind deed for you? When compounded, small deeds, added to the overall scope, of daily living, when reviewed, provides the most reason for gratitude and thankfulness.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Happiness-Is-Easily-Achieved-If-You-Have-Humility-and-Empathy-for-Humanity,-Unprompted,-of-Course&id=9620664

Anthony Robbins on the Six Basic Human Wants That Necessitates Success

1. Need One is Certainty/Comfort

This is absolutely the first need of all humanity. There is not a single person who values anything more than comfort in a given sense. We all need the feeling of being in control of our lives and to know whatever will happen next thus making us to be secure. Comfort makes us to be in need of avoiding stress and pain. It necessitates for the need of creating pleasure. The certainty need is thus a survival mechanism that affects the magnitude of risks one is willing to take in life, in investments, jobs and in relationships.

The higher you have the certainty need, reduced will be the risk you have or will be willing to bear emotions. This is thus the origin of risk tolerance.

2. Need Two is Uncertainty/Variety

When a question is posed: "Do you like surprises?"

What would be your answer? Whoever answers "yes" is absolutely kidding themselves, the truth is that everyone likes the surprises they want while at the same time detest getting the surprises they never wanted or rather those they refer to as problems. However, these unwanted surprised are still needed in life for one to put up or rather build those muscles that will keep them going. There is no way you can be able to achieve muscle growth-character- without the presence of something they can push back against.

3. Need Three is Significance

Everyone needs to feel special, important, needed or unique in their own way. This is significance and how do we get it? This can be achieved through the earning of billions of money, collection of unique academic credentials or being able to distinguish oneself with higher levels of education such as Masters or PHD. Others can build giant followings on social media such as Facebook and Twitter or even tattooing oneself all over the body in places not worth being mentioned.

What about Significance by Having Ballooned Problems?

Have you not heard of statements such as "you think you have a dirty husband, then have mine for one day!" significance can also be gained by either being more spiritual than others but pretending to be one can also enable one to gain it.

Spending lots of cash can also make another class to feel significant. On the other side, spending too little also helps you get it. Some people are known to have massive wealth yet they hide it and this is what makes them significant. Sam Walton, the late wealthy founder of Wal-Mart is an example. At one time, he was the richest man in the USA yet he drove around the Bentonville Arkansas area in his old truck a demonstration that a Bentley was of no use to him. Walton had a fleet of private jets that stood by.

Significance is a great money maker- Steve Wynn, the guy credited for making Las Vegas to be Las Vegas made his fortune through significance. Steve knew that people are always ready to pay for anything provided they believe it is the best. If such a class of people comes across anything which makes them look unique, feel special or be considered important, they are always ready to spend a fortune in that. A human being will always spend on anything that defines them as a stand out from the general crowd. This idea made him to provide some of the most luxurious and exclusive experiences that anyone can imagine in his hotels and casinos. Truly, these features are magnificently unmatched all over the world. Las Vegas has a name because of this.

4. Need Three is Love & Connection

This is the fourth amongst the basic needs. Love is described as the oxygen that drives life. It's what everyone desires for and needs the most. Life is felt by everyone who loves completely and wholeheartedly. On the other side, when love is lost, the pain felt is so great that a connection-crumb of love-is what many settle upon. Such a connection can be gotten through friendship, intimacy or just walking in nature. When all these fail, some resorts for a dog or suchlike pets.

The first four needs above are what are referred to as the needs of one's personality. Everyone has their own ways of meeting them. Regardless of whether it is through hard work, creation of a magnanimous problem or coming up with stories that will rationalize the problems, each person will get them their own way. The last two needs on their part are the needs of the spirit. They are not as common as the first four since not all do meet them. They are the needs that when met, a person feels they have fulfilled something in their lives.

5. Need Five is Growth

The lack of growth is equated to death. If someone is not therefore growing, they are dying. Whether it's a relationship, it may be a business or a family or even your spiritual life, if at all it's not growing, then you are not growing. It does not matter the amount of resources you have with you at your disposal. However much money you have in your bank accounts, regardless of the number of friends you boast of having or the thousands of people who love you, you will not be able to experience any real fulfillment. The main reason why we need to grow is in order for as to have a valuable thing to give out in return.

6. Need Six is Contribution

It may sound corny but the truth is that giving is the secret of living. If you get some good news or get some wonderful experiences, the first thing that anyone does is to call someone they can share such joyous moments with. This is the whole idea about life. All that one experience is enhanced by sharing.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Anthony-Robbins-on-the-Six-Basic-Human-Wants-That-Necessitates-Success&id=9377618