There Are Three Types Of People

Yes, there are millions of types of people but, they all fall into one of three categories (for the sake of this article) - yes people, no people and maybe people. Let me explain.

But before I do, let me be clear - your response to the following will tend to be an automatic quick reaction to what you read. In other words, you will be an example of what the point of the article actually is - you will have a yes, a no or a maybe response to the content of this article and what and how I share it. OK, now that that's out of the way, on to the substance.

Yes, people are not pie in the sky optimists but tend to see the world as half full vs. half empty. They tend to have open minds even about things they are uncomfortable with or know little about. Their first reaction to meeting new people, new ideas, not opportunities and yes even new problems and challenges are - a yes - I can do it, I can figure it out, I will make it work, I won't let it derail me, I won't let it ruin me, I won't give it control over me etc. They are not always easy to persuade or influence just because they are yes people, but they are more open and receptive to new and different stuff, ideas, people, and circumstances.

No people, on the other hand, are just the opposite of yes people. Their first responses to most stuff is a quick - no - I can't, it won't work, it's too expensive, too cheap, too old, too new, he's too arrogant, she's too short etc. get it - these folks are closed off from almost anything and everything that represents new, change, better, different etc.

And then there are maybe people. These folks can go either way - yes or no, but their reaction and responses will generally be governed by a number of factors. Their need for approval, their need to avoid rejection, their self-esteem, their desire to avoid conflict, their desire to contribute to positive outcomes regardless of whether they are based on or grounded in truth, reality or evidence. They have decision phobia when any of the above situations are in play. Yes, they can be yes people, but when it suits the circumstances, environment or outcomes and yes, they can be no people depending on the same issues. A few things to consider and I'll keep them short.

What are the major contributors to which group a person is in?

Your upbringing and early conditioning by parents, caregivers, churches, schools and teachers, relatives, friends and anyone who had temporary or permanent influence over what you learned, what and who you were exposed to and everything you were taught. Most psychologists agree that a person's self-esteem is established at the latest by age 10. So, before you hit your teens you tended to be a yes, no or a maybe person.

Can someone successfully switch groups permanently?

Yes, but it's not easy and takes time, a lot of effort, great patience, focus, new learning, a lot of will and a great deal of desire to change. It's harder for no people to change and it takes more time for a maybe person to change.

Which group tends to be happier and more content?

What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people be happy and content? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them.

Which group tends to be more successful?

What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people be successful? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them.

Which group tends to be healthier?

What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people be healthy? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them. Sensing a pattern here?

Which group tends to live longer?

What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people live long lives? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them.

There are a lot of other areas we could discuss that specifically address each group and its issues, circumstances, tendencies, behaviors, attitudes etc. but if you are a no person I have lost you by now. If you are a maybe person you are conflicted because of certain things I have said and if you are a yes person you have other things to do and I'm not telling you anything you don't know or have felt or believed in the past and I have just put words to the subject and it's time for you to move on to something else.

https://ezinearticles.com/?There-Are-Three-Types-Of-People&id=9965045

The Perils Of Comparison (By Tim Connor)

I can't tell you how many people I have met during my world travels when only after a few minutes of conversation they started comparing themselves to someone or something else. A competitor, a celebrity, a fellow employee or even someone they didn't even know.

Why do we need personal validation by comparison? Why do we need to feel better or worthier than others? And why can't we accept who we are, what we have accomplished, our flaws and mistakes, our failures and disappointments without the ego's need to compare and look better than others?

As a global speaker for many years I have observed this trait is especially true of many people in my profession, but believe me - we are not unique. I can't tell you how many business people I have met who have to tell some story about who they are better than, smarter than and/or more accomplished than others they know and even those they don't know in some way.

Trust me - you don't have to be the smartest, best looking, wealthiest or most famous person in the room to feel good about yourself. So why are so many people stuck in this comparison mode whether subtly or overtly "in your face"? 

Not to brag here (that is not my intent) but I want to make a simple statement - during my career as an international bestselling author (over 80 books) and a global speaker (25 countries) my intent and goal was never fame and let me state that I have been very successful in achieving this goal. Go ahead laugh.

Life is not about what others think of you or you think of others. And if it is - trust me you will never find contentment, inner peace or happiness because there will always be someone out there smarter, better and wealthier etc. than you in some way - always!

Have you ever noticed that when people generally compare themselves to others they either use someone less successful or someone who they can criticize whether this person deserves it or not?

I can also tell you that many of my heroes - to mention just a few - Og Mandino, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Jesus, Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa and Charlie Tremendous Jones - comparison was not in their DNA.

What they all had in common was the humility and the desire to contribute in their own special way to the value of humanity and life in general.

Let me ask you - have you ever compared yourself to others to try and convince yourself that you were better in some way or just to make yourself feel OK about yourself? Come on - be honest here.

Why do we need to compare? Is it insecurity, an overcharged ego, the need for approval, the desire to please or simply the fact that we can't admit that we all have flaws and/or weaknesses in our thoughts, actions, decisions and behaviors in some way?

I challenge you for the next couple of weeks as you talk with others to observe their comparisons or your own during conversations and then ask yourself - why? Why do I need to do this? Why do they need to do this? Try it you will be amazed at how frequently we are all guilty of this simple yet rather stupid trait. Stupid you say Tim? Yep, cause what do you think you really accomplish with all of these comparisons?

More or less respect? More or less fame? More or less self-satisfaction? More or less something_______? Sorry!

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Perils-Of-Comparison&id=9865687

You Are Enough

“A balanced inner calmness radiates from a peaceful centre. It neither craves others' approval nor rejects others' presence. It neither pulls towards nor pushes away. It has a reverent attitude towards life and all its inhabitants.” 

― Donna Goddard

Letter To My Younger Self (By Nina Bingham)

Letter To My Younger Self:

Style counts. Your personal panache (or lack thereof) says a lot about you. My motto has always been: "If you can't be good, at least be stylish." I don't mean it in the fashion sense. I mean that if you're going to make mistakes, make them big, and make them your own. Be 100% invested in whatever you do, even your missteps. If you can't give 100% then you've "settled," and you're living outside of your passion. If you compromise, you'll forever wonder what could have been, and is there anything more torturous than knowing your dream was within your grasp but you didn't reach for it?

When you live true to yourself, people may not understand; they may not agree. You've got to get past the need for approval because if you don't, you're never going to belong to you. There are energy vampires just itching to drain every last drop of authenticity and originality out of you. You were not born to preserve someone else's dream; you were born to be an original. Yet we humans keep competing and comparing, as if we were cookie-cutter people. Being the same only breeds boredom and low self-esteem. So how come it's going to take you a whole lifetime to learn to love yourself?

The irony of low self-esteem is that you were the only one who didn't see how super fantastic you were. You've had personal panache from the start. You couldn't see it because your eyes look outwards. You couldn't see yourself, you could only see others, and then others became your mirrors. Because they could only see the outside of you and not your eager heart, they discouraged you from making a bold statement. They didn't realize how much you'd been given, and how much you wanted to share. But that was way back; and here you are, miles and miles from where you started, and your heart never outgrew the miracle of you. Still, you never imagined it would take so much time to grow into you. All the while you've been looking for answers outside of yourself-a detour from the main event: your precious uniqueness. The answer's been walking around in your skin the whole mixed up, messed up time. You were supposed to be listening to you all along.

My advice to you, younger self, is to never "dummy down" your bright sheen for someone who doesn't like sparkly things. Never apologize for your inherent quirks, oddities and original ideas, because it's what makes you... you. The world obviously needs you just as you are, or you wouldn't be here. I say: Be the freak you are. Be extravagant, be outrageous, be too much if you must, flaunting your panache. Be the sun-kissed, fierce daredevil that was born to shake things up. When the energy vampires try to steal your fireworks, just pop one open and let the sparks fly! Because nobody can dull your sheen without your permission.

Learning your worth may take a lifetime, but it's worth the search. You'll forget who you are along the way. You'll leave behind little pieces of your heart every time it breaks, given to other broken-hearted superstars. Gathering those pieces back again won't be possible. There's no glue strong enough to hold it all together. So take what's left and re-invent yourself. Give the world a second version of you, but make it the right one. The next one will either be hard, unyielding and sharp to the touch, or you'll be unapologetically unforgettable.

Whatever you do, don't let your greatness get you down. Wear your crown for the world to admire. If others can't see it, pity them. Perhaps they haven't discovered how to live true to themselves. Remember, nobody said it was going to be easy, seeing as how you're royalty and all. But nobody can do it like you can, in the exact way you can. I hope you'll fall in love with the girl-woman in the mirror, because you're the one you've been waiting for. Until then, take my advice: at least be stylish.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Letter-To-My-Younger-Self&id=9459748

Real Life Begins At The Edge Of Your Comfort Zone

Why is it that some people live with a risk mentality and others always play it safe? For the people who play it safe - is it fear of the unknown, the need for control, impatience, ego needs or some other rationale or mindset? Let's talk about your comfort zone and its impact on your future.

What is a comfort zone? My perspective is that it is only acting, deciding or moving only where you feel you can control outcomes, consequences or circumstances. In other words - you don't invest in financial markets, you don't try new tasks or hobbies, you don't take vacations to new locations, you are afraid to start new relationships etc. You just go with what you know or feel offers little or no uncertainty and yes emotional comfort. Well let me tell you - the only thing that is certain in life is its uncertainty - so if this is true and believe me it is - why do people stay stuck in what they know, feel, believe or think even though they live with an inner urge to change, try or do something new or different?

Here are a few of the common ones - risk avoidance, low self-esteem, insecurity, out of control fear, off the chart egos, arrogance, the need for approval and a pessimistic mindset.

Risk avoidance - life is risk - period. The only way to avoid risk is to die. Everyone defines risk uniquely according to their comfort zone but what if your comfort zone is grounded in safe or how you define safe and what if your definition of safe is wrong, outdated or just plain stupid?

Low self-esteem - when you lack belief in yourself you will tend to always play it safe avoiding anything that might disrupt your sense of balance or emotional stability.

Insecurity - insecurity is a lack of self-trust and if this is one of your guiding principles you will tend to avoid risks of any kind simply because you think you are not worthy.

Out of control fear - if you fear something, anything you will always only do what you feel will always turn out positively. If you feel there is any chance of failure, mistakes, criticism or problems you will settle, avoid and stick your head in the sand.

Off the chart egos - a large ego wants to always look good to others, therefore you will have difficulty admitting mistakes, failures or situations where you might look weak or inadequate. You may take risks but only when you believe or are confident they will turn out well.

Arrogance - arrogance is a close cousin of pride and pride can never admit weakness. So if something new potentially puts you in a position of risk you will blame, point the finger or go into a state of denial.

The need for approval - if you always need the approval of others sooner or later you will discover that when you constantly live with this as your guiding principle or mantra you will eventually lose yourself and become a combination of traits that you feel will never put you in jeopardy of rejection.

A pessimistic mindset - pessimist's always see the negative no matter how positive anything can be. These folks can't admit to success, achievement or anything positive so when they take any kind of a risk they need an escape plan or something or someone to blame.

So, having said all this why live outside your comfort zone? Well, I could go on for pages but here are just six reasons - they will give you -

Greater confidence

New friends/relationships

More fun

More positive memories

New adventures

New skills

Let me close with two simple questions - are you living outside or inside your comfort zone in some area of your life? Why or why not?

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