Dealing With Hurt (By a Psychologist)

How does one deal with sadness and negative thoughts?

As a Psychologist, I am continuously curious about this human phenomenon. I have felt it. And every time I do, I never fail to take notes from it. Thus, I have truly analyzed that this "sadness" has many forms and many sources. Also, the thousands of supportive researches provide some light on the matter.

We seemed to have been conditioned to believe that we need people to overcome our sadness. That it is almost impossible to be alone and at peace. That we need to be held by an external support. However, there is a huge difference between the above thought and reality.

Sadness, if defined at its best, is but a chemical reaction within ourselves. Emotionally though, it is more than just a mere feeling. However, there are ways to deal with it to eradicate its existence. Following are some basics that may help:

Practical attitude: Practical individuals have less difficulty coping with sadness. They are adept at forming logical explanations regarding varied situations. This ability relaxes their mind by suppressing anxiety of any kind. With a maintained self-confidence and a practical explanation of the events, they develop immunity towards the ill-effects of harmful emotions.

Accepting flaws: Peace comes with accepting one's entire self. Usually we accept our strengths easily and apologetically. But it's the flaws or mistakes that we have difficulty with. As much as we may know that we have them, we try to ignore them or keep them wrapped up. The more we stay in denial, the more fear of being exposed enters our minds. With this, we develop insecurities, jealousies and conflicts. Once we learn to accept ourselves the way we are and also love ourselves, there is immense peace and less scope for feelings of sadness.

Forgiveness: The more we hold on to grudges, the more we poison ourselves. And it's not just the grudges that we hold towards others. It is more about forgiving ourselves. We are so unable to love ourselves and in the end we find ourselves complaining about our own bodies and abilities. That is equal to hating ourselves. Thus, before we forgive others, we must also forgive ourselves of all the mistakes and regrets. It is absolutely necessary for us to be at peace with our own existence. Forgiving others releases the venomous toxicity that keeps suffocating us otherwise.

Self-motivation: While we are busy seeking for external factors to make us feel worthy, it is our own selves that must generate motivation. Will power, learning from mistakes and correcting regrets are important to an individual's wholesome personality.

Inner strength: The most vital factor to handling negative feelings is have internal strength. An individual has to have courage to face the situations rather than run from it. A person grows from his/her experiences and stressful situations make the person stronger. There has to be an absolute positive energy flowing within the individual's mind.

Silence: The power of silence is always underestimated. Too much conversation breeds unnecessary conflict. Also during arguments or debates, the presence of silence is important. One has to have a great deal of patience to listen before replying. An individual's strength can always be measured by the ability to be silent when provoked. When placed in a sad situation, a person only needs to be silent and meditate on the thoughts regarding the situation.

Harboring hope: As they say, the past is over but the future is yet to come, we must abide by this saying. Hope for the best in your life and it makes you a happy person. Hope gives us the strength to bear the burdens that are crushing us today. It is an abstract entity - this hope, but it is definitely a beautiful coping strategy.

Believing in oneself: Having faith in oneself is vital. To believe in the strength and ability of oneself to be able to stand your ground or achieve near impossible things should be a motto of your life. Confidence, success and happiness will follow the people who have faith in their own individuality.

Standing tall: Not the literal meaning of standing physically but standing your ground even in the midst of problems. It is definitely hard to battle feelings of sadness and negative thoughts, but it is not impossible. Like any other fight, there will be hurt and pain and also investment of energy. However, it will show you how strong you are and only contribute to your own strength.

Discipline: Having discipline in life is a must. Having discipline within your mind is equally important. There has to be a routine for you to engage in healthy thinking. You have to discipline your mind to only accept positive thoughts and vibes. Shutting out negativity and every toxic factor that would even intend to harm your mental health.

Above all, is the leading of a healthy life? Eating habits, sleep cycle, physical fitness and correct choices make an individual's life pleasant. The basic slogan for everyday life being "Less expectations equals to less disappointments... "

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The Keys to Massive Success

I have been a fan of Anthony Robbins for many years, read his books and yesterday watched several of his YouTube videos. Success and the workings of the brain are a fascinating subject. I find him compelling watching, as he is so dynamic and earnest in his delivery, his excitement for his theory is infectious and when I have used his methods or similar they have worked for me.

Anthony's recommendations for reaching success are that you need a compelling vision, you need many strong reasons why you should follow through, this will keep you motivated and pull you through to your vision instead of you attempting to rely on will-power, (this is the hard way).

If you desire to change something in your life a habit or situation, make sure it is a MUST, not a COULD, desire. It has to be a strong enough reason to produce a shift in your brain to activate the recticular activity system (RAS) and then your belief is massively strengthened.

It is a strange fact, but we live by standards or beliefs and the brain is wired to keep us on track, so it isn't until we change those beliefs, that we change our behavior. So if we haven't changed our beliefs since our youth, we are stuck with those beliefs, For example we may believe we are a smoker and though we may be trying to stop the habit it is extremely hard, until we think of ourself as a non-smoker.

If we raise our standards, we will improve in that direction; how much we earn, our weight, or our success in any area. So when our New Years resolutions fail or plans to change don't happen, it is because we haven't put enough energy, enthusiasm, desire and belief behind the plan to activate the shift in the RAS.

So now you have the keys to change, where does your future lie? what do you need to change to make your life better, your weight, your income, your career, or maybe to stop smoking in order to be the "best you", you can be.

Many people are looking for time and location freedom for a better lifestyle and are turning to online marketing to achieve their dreams. It is a way of life which I and thousands of others enjoy, if it appeals to you, affiliate marketing is the simplest starting point online.

Begin with the guidance of a good coach and mentor, (the best you can find according to Antony Robbins, for fast results). With affiliate marketing your mentor will provide your products, sales pages and training, making is faster to start earning whilst you are learning all the techniques necessary and you will also work to a tried and tested plan; this will bring you success the easiest way.

If you would like to see more of Anthony Robbins go to YouTube to see many videos. A great book of his is "Awaken the Giant Within" I have read it several times, although it is a huge book, it is packed with ideas and explanations to help you change your beliefs and therefore your life.

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Learn How to Increase The Brain Power

Self-development plays an important role in strengthening your self-esteem and will-power, but the root of all happiness and financial security begins at one place; your brain. I have written many articles on self-improvement and personal development, so, today I am going to focus on how to increase the brain power so that you can become an unstoppable force in your chosen talent or profession.

Without brain power, which includes creativity and imagination; there would be no discoveries in any field of academics, there would be no buildings or any types of transportations, and we would always be in a depressed state because there is no motivation.

As an article writer, I am constantly using my mental capabilities to come up with original articles, if I don't use this brain power on a regular basis, I would lose the ability to come up with a new idea for an article or I would have a hard time getting back into a writing mode after a long break. Using your brain power in self-development will help you find success in your life because of that dream and vision that is in your mind. Recently, I saw an episode of American Ninja Warrior where a participant wore a prosthetic leg, despite being physically handicap; he pushed through the obstacles course with only one leg (before he started the course, he removed the prosthetic leg). Now, imagine being in that situation, cancer had just taken your leg, would you tackle that course or make some excuse and walk away? This young man should true brain and will-power as he did not let his disabilities get the best of him. Even though he did not finish the course, he should true grit and courage by going through that obstacle course. From what I saw on his facial expression was look of satisfaction and happiness; through his actions, he inspired many people on the sidelines as they cheered for him.

When tough times appear or you are having trouble overcoming a personal issue; do not give up or do not back down. Discipline your mind by establishing a positive attitude and you will overcome any obstacle.

Einstein used his brain power for studying, observing, and learning. The result was that he made a difference in academics.

Edison used his brain power to overcome failure. The end result was that he made the first light bulb.

Here are some ways in which you can help boost your brain to the next level:

1. Stay away from negative comments on social media that is not constructive criticism. These types of negative comments will drain your brain power in a way that you won't be motivated to do anything.

2. Treat your brain good through exercise and healthy eating. This type of fuel will keep brain running at a high level so that you can do anything.

3. Engage in self-development programs that will help keep you motivated for the rest of your life.

From this article, I showed you how to increase the brain power so that you can become an unstoppable force. There is no need to go and buy expensive medication or supplements to improve the brain function, all you need is the brain power to succeed.

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Self-Discipline: The Secret Sauce of Success

How do you build a successful life and business? Good fortune helps tremendously, but it is possible to if not actually create your own good luck, then create the drive needed to build the best life possible. Business coach and strategy consultant Dan Kennedy advises that we develop self-discipline. To help our understanding of the concept, he breaks self-discipline into four parts:

Will power

Will power is the core of self-discipline. It's like a muscle and if we want to develop that muscle and use it to build up self-discipline, then practice is required. As with running or weight lifting, start small and gradually build to more challenging work. Making yourself vacuum and do laundry could be a good place to start, if those tasks bring out avoidance behavior in you. Speaking of exercise, scheduling and completing a certain number of weekly workouts is another way to simultaneously build our will power and physical muscles. Set up a rewards program when important milestones are achieved. Massages and facials are nice relaxing gifts to yourself.

Awareness

Value and respect time and boundaries, your own and that of others. Cease immediately selfish and controlling behavior. Appreciate that everyone has responsibilities that very likely must be completed within a certain time frame. Calculate in realistic terms how long it will take you to travel from point A to point B, for example, and give yourself the appropriate time to reach your destination at the appointed hour. The pay-off to your reputation will be significant.

Decision

Kennedy notes that all achievement is fueled by decision-making. If we acknowledge our priorities and then decide to make those priorities a reality, then we will do what is necessary to ensure their creation and sustainability. Self-discipline is integral to decision-making. Refusing to exercise self-discipline has deleterious consequences.

Should we decide to not decide, we table decision-making indefinitely and never become a responsible and productive adult. If we are paralyzed by the process of decision-making, we become trapped in a vortex and squander all opportunities to utilize or attract good fortune. Such an individual becomes a wastrel. Decision-making is goal setting and all self-disciplined individuals identify and pursue goals.

Action

Kennedy points to three kinds of action, which I interpret as an arc: planning, implementation and completion. Once the decision is made, a plan is then created, to give yourself a road map and timetable to bring your goal into reality. In business, one would think strategy and action planning. Next, implement your plan and see it through to completion, making any necessary adjustments along the way.

This is the point at which self-discipline becomes essential. As we all know, many initiatives are begun with great enthusiasm, but not all are completed. Give your self-discipline a fighting chance and set SMART goals for yourself: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and timely and then create a strategy and action plans that make achievement of your goals a likely possibility. If you anticipate obstacles, build into your strategy a way to overcome them.

Self-discipline is the foundation of a successful life and it brings many rewards, not the least of which is integrity and authenticity. I would consider those attributes to be the most desirable personal brand.

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