Boredom and Impatience Are Trying to Tell You Something

We live in a culture that beckons us to constant productivity, consumption, and stimulation. In the face of this momentum, the idea of taking time away from work, shopping, or entertainment seems like a total waste of time. This shows up very clearly if we try to do something like meditate. It's common to quickly get bored, restless, or impatient with what might seems to be "doing nothing." What's the point of this? What am I getting out of it? I could be doing something productive!

Yet what if boredom, restlessness, and impatience signal something deeper, something important to acknowledge and deal with? What if, instead of being prompted to rush off to more feats of economic prowess, accumulation, and stimulation, we use these feelings as indicators to dive deeper?

What if boredom, restlessness, and impatience arise when we are ready to make changes, especially inner changes that ask us to step beyond our current comfort zones?

Let's begin with a short story that demonstrates what might lie beneath restlessness.

Restless Legs, Restless Thoughts

This story comes from "Meditation: An In-Depth Guide" by Ian Gawler and Paul Bedson. They describe a meditation student John, who had restless legs and equally restless thoughts. (p.114, MAIG)

John was a very active guy, who loved sports and being in the gym. He had a "go get 'um" mentality and came to an 8-week meditation class ready to "master meditation." "However, he found it very difficult to even sit still; he had a nervous habit of constantly jiggling his legs up and down, a common form of restlessness. The movement of his thoughts matched his restless legs.

After two sessions John came to Paul and told him he wanted to drop out of the class, saying, 'I just can't do it-it's impossible for me to sit still!'" (p.114, MAIG)

Paul advised John to see if he could just notice the restless feelings with a gentle curiosity. Instead of seeing them as a problem, was it possible to just pay attention to them in a non-judgmental way? Could he refrain from self-criticism, from thinking he was failing at meditation, and just witness what was arising in his mind, without buying into it?

Would it be possible to be present with the thoughts "I can't do this, it's too hard" and "This is stupid and I'm not getting anywhere!" and "If only these thoughts would go away, then I could meditate!" (p.115, MAIG) without taking them seriously and without believing them?

For John, who was a proactive, take care of things, make things happen type of guy, this was a novel strategy-yet it worked! In just a few more sessions, he was able to just "sit with his feelings" and he became much more at ease with himself. As a result, he began to experience more of the inner peace he was looking for.

Sometimes that's all it takes to tame your restless mind-a little self-observation followed by a little self-acceptance-until a new state of being arises naturally. This state is hidden by the way you are looking at life and your feelings of boredom can prompt you to dig deeper to discover it. This is a good first strategy to deal with boredom and impatience in meditation and in life-recognize them, accept them, be present with them-and soon they resolve to reveal a new insight or way of being.

Yet, what about times when this strategy doesn't work? What about restlessness that cycles stronger and sucks you in deeper? This can signal a deeper defense you are ready to dismantle.

Identifying Your Deeper Defenses

When simple observation, acceptance, and presence don't free you from boredom and impatience, try to go a step farther. Your mind may be signaling you to become more conscious of a deeper defense, so you can release it to move forward to new possibilities.

Three steps can help: Label the thoughts related to your feeling of boredom and impatience, identify the beliefs behind them, and notice the consequences of this way of thinking. These three steps bring your defenses to light, dissolve their subconscious hold on your attention, and enable you to make new choices.

Step One: Label the type of thought

Thoughts can be categorized according to what they are doing. For example, you could be planning, worrying, lamenting, judging, criticizing, blaming, and so on...

In Step One, you simply name the type of thought you're having when you feel bored and impatient by giving a one-word label describing what the thought is doing.

Step Two: Identify the Belief behind the Thought

Beliefs are thoughts you invest with emotional significance. They are thoughts you strongly identify with. These are not just thoughts you think are true, they are thoughts you think are "you." At some level, consciously or subconsciously, you define "who you are" by these beliefs. Therefore, these thoughts become identified with your very existence, safety, and well-being.

Behind repetitive thoughts you can't seem to shake are deeply ingrained beliefs that originate from experiences of deep hurt. You don't want to experience those hurts again, so you learn thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that keep you from harm. These hurts and the accompanying beliefs are deeply defended in your subconscious.

For example, you might think: "If I just keep quiet and don't make waves, I'll be safe." Or, "If I don't make a big effort or commitment, I won't be disappointed." Or "If I don't express my true feelings, I won't get hurt."

Yet, these defensive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors also keep you from peace, joy, love, vitality, growth, learning, passion, and purpose you long for. They keep your body in a defensive mode that limits you from doing what you truly desire and from connecting deeply with others. That's why it's important to consciously recognize and release them.

In Step Two, you see if you can identify the defensive belief that is behind the thoughts that are cycling through your mind.

You can recognize these defensive beliefs in a couple simple ways:

-They tend to be strong judgments signaled by words such as "should, have to, ought to, can't, must."

-They tend to catastrophize, making everything seem bigger and more dangerous than it really is. They make everything feel huge and overwhelming and often come with the words "Always" or "Never."

Putting these together you get beliefs such as "You should never rock the boat," "I should always keep quiet," "You just can't show your weakness, ever!" "I'm never going to make it," "I'm never enough," and so on... Defensive beliefs aren't always phrased so strongly, but the underlying feeling about them is strong.

In Step Two, you seek the underlying belief that gives rise to the type of thinking you're mind is engaging in. You can recognize these by the strong emotional charge behind these inner statements. You can get at these beliefs by asking:

What belief am I using to protect myself, to keep myself in a safe comfort zone?

Step Three: Notice the Consequences of these Beliefs

The original purpose of defensive beliefs is to keep you safe. They keep you in a "comfort zone." Defensive beliefs have two primary consequences. They either make you "rigid," in "fight or freeze mode," or "retreat," in "flight mode." As life-long strategies, defensive beliefs are severely limiting.

Life is always asking you to learn, heal, and grow. Defensive beliefs cause you to resist growth, to guard against, to fight it-or to retreat in the face of the pressure. In other words, they put you in a state of distress. In fact, defensive beliefs make your life into a series of stressful events.

You can identify the consequences of your beliefs by asking two questions:

What is this belief accomplishing? What is it preventing?

When you consciously and clearly see the consequences of maintaining defensive beliefs, you naturally want to be free from the stress they cause. You want to be free from that suffering. You also see how they are holding you back. With those twin insights, you may naturally become more willing to investigate other possibilities.

You become more open to doing something different. When limiting beliefs have worn out their usefulness, when you are ready to grow beyond them, you feel bored and impatient.

A Two-Fold Strategy

So, when boredom and impatience arise, see if you can pay attention with curiosity and acceptance. See if you can let go of self-judgment and simply sit with these feelings. Notice if something shifts as you mindfully pay attention.

If boredom and impatience persist, investigate them more deeply using three steps:

1) Label the thoughts that accompany boredom and impatience by noticing what they are doing-planning, worrying, lamenting, criticizing, blaming...

2) Identify the beliefs underneath these thoughts.

3) Notice the consequences of thinking this way. Notice what this way of thinking is accomplishing and what it is preventing.

Are you satisfied with the way you are living?

If not, you can consciously choose to let those thoughts and beliefs go and pay attention to the deeper inspirations calling from the Core of your being. Ask yourself, "What is Life calling me to do in this moment?"

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Coping With Anger: How to Deal

When it comes to coping with anger, there are people who know how to do it in healthy ways and those who have problems managing their anger and expressing it appropriately.

Instead of lashing out, becoming physically violent or intimidating those who have caused your anger, take a step back and allow the heat of the moment to pass. When you do this, your anger will be easier to manage, and you won't end up in a situation that has gone from bad to worse.

Here are a few tips on how to deal with your anger when it seems impossible to manage.

First, acknowledge that you are angry.

This might sound pretty basic, but you'd be surprised at how quickly people will try to deny that they're angry. Recognize the trigger that sets off your anger. Most people, if they stop and reflect on their anger, will be able to see it coming.

You know better than anyone what makes you mad. When you can recognize the things that cause your stress reflex to bend towards this angry side of your emotional makeup, you will be better prepared to deal with it.

Pay attention to how others are coping with anger.

Everyone is different, and we all have different ways of expressing ourselves. If you know you have a problem with anger, make a study of those around you.

Watch how the people in your life react to things and situations that would completely set you off on an angry spiral. Make some mental notes about what they do and say and see if you can incorporate any of those tools into your own anger toolbox.

Teach yourself flexibility.

Almost everyone with an anger problem has one thing in common: they react instead of responding.

When whatever trigger sets you off, there is probably an instant and immediate angry reaction. Try to fight against this. Instead of reacting right away, gather all of the information you can and learn to be flexible.

You cannot control everything, as much as you might like to. When something happens that makes you angry, instead of falling back on your comfortable reaction, respond by thinking it through and looking for other acceptable solutions.

Set your expectations a little lower.

Part of being flexible is being okay with compromise or settling for almost everything you wanted. A major part of coping with anger is knowing that the world will not end just because something has not gone your way.

Many people get angry because they feel threatened. Teach yourself to welcome several different outcomes, instead of being emotionally tied to just one.

A huge trigger for anger can be expecting one thing but getting another. If you're ready for almost anything, you'll have less reasons to be angry.

Work on communication.

People generally do not enjoy communicating with angry people. If everyone in your life is afraid of your reaction, they are going to hesitate to talk to you openly. It's okay to be assertive and clear about what you want.

Just try not to be domineering. Angry people can be bullies, and you probably don't want that reputation.

Try to be better about forgiveness and compassion.

You will find it harder to be angry when you forgive people for what makes you angry. Feelings of resentment almost always lead to anger, so work through those and get rid of them as quickly as you can.

This can be hard, even for people who do not have a problem with anger. Holding onto grudges is not going to move you forward, however. It's going to keep you exactly where you are; angry and frustrated.

Finally, don't be afraid to get help.

There are many good therapists and behavioral health specialists who are trained in anger management. Talking to a counselor about your unhealthy behavior can help you cope with your anger.

You might also benefit from group therapy or support groups for people with anger. When you have trouble managing it yourself, listening to other people share their stories can help you feel less alone in your struggle.

Anger can lead to stress and depression, which will have a terrible impact on your overall physical and mental health. If you have a problem with anger, do what you can to manage it.

Have an honest conversation with yourself about your behavior and how you want to change it, then talk to a professional who can help you. Coping with anger is not something you need to do alone.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Coping-With-Anger:-How-to-Deal&id=7753487

I'm Done With "Shoulds"

I have spent a lifetime agreeing to SHOULDs. You name it, if it was a SHOULD, I'd force myself to do it.

No matter whether it was good for me or not. No matter if it fit who I was, or am, I pressed myself into that mold.

After all, in my mind, I had no choice.

The real kicker, is who's should was it? Was it parental? Religious? Societal? Educational? Professional? Spiritual?

Who gave me that should? Or, did I just make it all up?

Did I do it to fit in, be liked, loved, or to get promoted? Did my paycheck depend on me complying to their shoulds? Or, was I chastised for not following their "should" program.

It didn't seem to matter if it made sense or not. If my brain said, "Hey, Joan, you SHOULD do this," well, then, I just did it. Without question.

I might have squawked about it a bit, or a lot, yet along with it I went.

That is, until I didn't.

God only gave me so many SHOULDS and I've used them all up!

That was said clearly and confidently by a participant in one of my monthly gatherings. And, although, I chuckled in delight, as did everyone else, the truth and wisdom of it struck home deeply.

She no longer let others tell her what to do, how to do it, or forcefit her into their box. If she asked for help, she willingly accepted it.

Yet, she did not feel obliged to DO what they suggested.

Who knew I could do the same thing? How did I get to this age in life and still be driven by SHOULDs, especially ones that weren't even mine!

It was time to pay attention.

I began to notice where this cropped up. At first, it was so frequent, I began to wonder if the only thing I ever thought was a should!

I began to take action on them -- the ones that did not fit my values, goals, wants, or dreams, out they went!

I resigned from organizations, clubs, and professional groups. I stopped volunteering for stuff just because I was asked. My ego liked the request, my life energy did not.

I let go of toxic friendships. I didn't attend social events just to please someone. I stopped doing certain chores just because I thought I should!

I got rid of tons of stuff, too. Years of stuff, well organized, which I thought maybe someday I'd use or need.

I stopped spending money on useless things -- stuff that did not add value or meaning to my life.

At first, the flurry of action and change was a bit scary. I began to wonder if I'd gone off the deep end. If I got rid of all these shoulds, what the heck was going to be left?

Emptiness. Openness. Spaciousness. Expansiveness.

Yet, that was rather scary, too. Suddenly, I had large open windows of time.

What was I going to fill it with, I asked?

The answer came clearly -- NOTHING.

Leave it open.

In this society of over-consumption and busyness, it was unfathomable to me to leave my calendar, my home, or even my pantry, open, unfilled, and empty.

And, yet, that is exactly what I was divinely guided to do. To this, I did listen.

I wish I could say this was easy -- to notice those nagging shoulds and just do the opposite.

Thankfully, I had loving support along the way -- to help me see when one of those incessant shoulds would crop up. All they would say is, "Hey, Joan, isn't that a should?"

No, it hasn't been easy to shake off a lifetime of shoulds. To listen for that which is inspired, divinely guided action and take that path versus a should.

To stand firm and recognize that nothing else is more important.

How about you? Are you driven by shoulds and is it time you said, "No thank you. God only gave me so many shoulds and I've used them all up!"

Your money-life does thrive in clear, open, tidy spaces. Do you need help figuring out how to free up space and have a lush, green money-life? Do you fret about money even though you don't need to fret?



https://ezinearticles.com/?Im-Done-With-Shoulds&id=9946999

4 Effective Techniques To Build Patience

When we're waiting in line at the supermarket or an ATM, when our YouTube video is taking forever to buffer, when you're trying to teach your grandmother the usage of technology or when you're stuck in traffic on your way to work. Does picturing yourself in these situations enrage you?

If the answer to that was yes, then you're on the right page. The one characteristic that we lose foremost in trivial situations, is patience.

We tend to say and do things we regret in haste, out of pure restlessness or lack of composure. While there are plenty of consequences to being impatient, maintaining peace within, learning to stay calm or controlling the restless within is a lot easier. Developing the character trait of patience helps you stay more focused, make better decisions and most importantly it helps you with understanding, empathy and compassion.

Distract yourself: When you're in a situation that makes you feel restless, anxious and impatient, one of the best ways to maintain your inner sanctity is to find a healthy distraction. For example, let's say you're on the road, you're in a hurry and unluckily so, you're stuck in a traffic jam. As a result, you're honking, looking at the cars on the opposite side drive by or counting down for the traffic signals to change.

Let me tell you that this is not going to help. Focusing in-depth on the activity that's triggering impatience within, isn't going to make it go away. Instead, the next time you find yourself stuck in a jam, pull your mobile up and check your mails or go through your Social News feeds or maybe turn the volume up and play your favorite song - the traffic is going to clear up before you even know it!

Don't stress over what you can't control: As much as we'd like to believe that we can control everything around us, let's face it - we can't. Every now and then we're going to find ourselves caught up in situations that are far beyond our control. Let's say you just got fired / you're awaiting an exam result or you placed a bid for your favorite painting at an auction.

There's a lot of uncertainty about what the future holds for us in these situations. When we're pushed into scenarios we can't really mold with the mindset that we can control everything - we tend to live in denial, we certainly struggle and it tends to get ugly. The key to being patient in scenarios out of reach is to start developing an understanding that we can't control everything and that's completely okay.

Talk to yourself - listen to your inner voice: As silly as this might sound, at a moment of impatience - there's always a voice in the back of our heads telling us we're being irrational. We tend to mute that voice out whenever the scenario befits us - when what we really should be doing is paying attention to it.

The next time you're about to lose it and yell at you co-worker for messing up - pause for a second and pay attention to the voice within. It's probably saying 'No, don't shout at him. You're going to regret it - everybody is watching.' Our irrational, impulsive side is always overpowering the logical reasoning within us - in the heat of the moment. The voice within you is almost always more composed than your exterior. Pay attention to it. Talk to yourself. Tell yourself to calm down, take a deep breath and let it go.

Recognize when you act on an impulse: When things get heated up, we tend to act on an impulse and later regret it. Let's say you eat a bowl of ice-cream on a whim - despite being on a diet or you trade a stock as soon as the market opens up and later realize that you'd be a lot richer if you held onto your stock for a little while longer.

Acting on an impulse tends to mess situations up more often than never.

The next time you're about to buy ice-cream, you could consciously remind yourself about all the hard work you put in on the diet and stop yourself. The day you realize that the choice you're about to make is impulsive and choose to wait it out is the day you start truly taking a step forward.

Once you're done reading this article, take a moment to think about four things that trigger the impatience within you and match one of the four techniques above to each of those triggers. Remember to practice a technique or two the next time you're on the verge of losing it and I can assure you that you will not lose anything.

Not only will this article tell you how to maintain composure in situations that tend to make you feel impatient, restless and helpless but it will also enable you to understand various techniques on how to truly put the advice you receive into action.

https://ezinearticles.com/?4-Effective-Techniques-To-Build-Patience&id=9648882

Message From the Universe: "Fool Me Once, Shame on You, Fool Me Twice, Shame on ME!"

"Speaking of ships silently passing in the night...

Even your own path crossing with a complete stranger, on a sidewalk, down the hall, or at Starbucks, on this holiest of adventures, amongst the billions now alive and the zillions who could have been, means so much more than most can even comprehend. Suffice it to say, however, that in such moments these fellow adventurers are closer to you than a brother or a sister, no matter who they are.

You are the "King" of the world,

The Universe"

Everyone that you will meet in your lifetime will have an impact on you and your well being. Some will change who you are for the better and others will make you live with regrets as to what did you do to deserve such encounters. You will come across some vampires that their sole purpose is to drain you from everything that you have and once emptied, will jump to the next victim and live you there, laying in a puddle of pain. Many will suffer from the same predicament, and stop trusting anyone else in their lives because of just a few bad apples/vampires. As you can understand the point of the story here is that people will change you as a person, because of their behavior. Just like a chameleon, changing colors as they bounce from one object to another, your personality depends on who you meet or come across with. Do you think this is the way to go? Aren't you suppose to be who you are, regardless of others behavior? Why should it depend on anyone else's malicious act on you for you to become just like them? The expression "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"is applicable. Learning from mistakes and moving forward is crucial to all aspects of your life. Do not allow to make the same mistakes over and over again, especially if it's by the same person. It is hard to predict anyone's attention for that matter, but be vigilant and pay attention to signals, sudden change of behavior, things that seems to be odd or unnatural to you. Once you see them erupting, take immediate action and do not allow more problems to sink in. Work on protecting yourself first and foremost, and the rest can be handled the way you see fit.

I am not saying that everyone will look for ways to take advantage, because there are just a few who do that but because of them, it leaves everyone else wonder the kind of screwed up society we live in. Don't allow this to change you as a person or allow you to become like them. Continue doing the things that you used to do, such as helping others in need. In this case, avoid to pay it forward when it comes to being taken advantage of, as you do not want to do the same to others. Follow your gut feeling that by doing good to others while someone did something bad to you is breaking the link, the bad connection that creates so much anger and frustration to others. You want to avoid this at all cost. Something very important to add is to never judge anyone as you do not understand the kind of battle they are living with. Some people might be always smiling or looking happy but the reality is that they may suffer from severe depression and other kind of illnesses. Not taking this in consideration can push you to retaliate in the wrong way when someone is having a bad day because of whatever reasons. When someone is mean to you, try to understand that it is NOT your fault nor your actions that triggered this anger. Something else is lurking in that person's mind that pushed them to behaving aggressively towards you.

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Beauty From You to Me - Acknowledge That Beauty Is in Everyone and in Everything

Everyday as I awake, I eagerly anticipate what beautiful things God has in store for me. Sometimes life sends us curves that need silence and introspection. I am content to learn the lessons that the universe gives me, even though I am sensitive and easily affected by pain and suffering of myself as well as the pain of other people; sometimes I feel the pain of people who I have never met. I realize that as I patiently wait for the universe to open doors and opportunities for me, that I still must do the normal, not-so-fun things of daily living. I decided a long time ago that I would find beauty in every activity until the day that I take my last breath. There are many activities completed daily in our daily lives, far too many to even list that are taxing and make us forget how beautiful life truly can be. My best course of action is to enjoy the journey and to seek and find beauty in EVERYTHING!

I enjoy listening to music from various genres, writing songs or poetry, especially while engaging in two or more other activities. Sometimes I am vacuuming and I start dancing and enjoying the rhythm of the music.

While gazing at the sunrise, I usually decide what household chore I need to do first.

As I watch the waves of the nearby lake, I imagine that I am swimming in a clear,emerald-green ocean.

If I am watching television, and I notice a beautiful product or family style commercial is when I admire the beauty of people doing mundane things everywhere.

Reading has always been an amazing escape to visualize another setting and learning about the splendor and beauty of other people's' cooking styles, habits, practices or ideologies, there is beauty to be found EVERYWHERE!

There are so many gathering areas where you can discover new people and places, all you have to do is have an open heart and decide that you'll seek and meet beautiful, new people. Meeting new people or engaging new activities is like discovering new frontiers or enticing a new adventure. Time alone, time on the phone, or taking time to have a great conversation is amazing and a beautiful discovery that you'll appreciate for decades!

Enjoy your garden, take in the full scenery, notice the flowers, or the birds that fly to your yard or garden.

Beauty is everywhere, it's simple to attract, and a great way to notice something different, uncommon or beautiful.

Enjoy the simple things, tasks or chores, it's never a bore when you work around your home.

You'll find adventure or uncover the beauty in simple,yet subtle ways if you pay attention to beautiful things around you throughout the course of your day.

If I cook, or clean or do my laundry; it is in the simplicity that beauty surrounds me.

As I wash my clothes and witness dirt and grime get washed away, it is similar when compared to life. Life is allowing the old concepts, ideas or beliefs to go away, get washed out or cleansed. Giving room for new experiences is giving new life to clean, freshly laundered clothing and a beautiful new way of living.

In life, it is ourselves who decide what we need to release, purge, cleanse or omit to uncover beauty under the surface; like the caterpillar and butterfly story.

In the newness comes the beauty in appreciating the unknown from you to me; from me to you. If you and me have argued, then I must apologize, the reason is not important, the time lost and the beauty of our friendship is more important than who's right or who's wrong.

Like soap suds, from the washing machine, going down the drain; I allow myself to release the pain; as clean, rinse water cleanses my clothes. I allow light to cleanse, and energize my life in the light of wisdom and appreciation.

I enrich my life and enjoy the beauty from you to me from me to you, as we discover new ideas and different principles of conduct or engaging in great verbal energy exchange. The smile that you send to me is amazing, comforting and beautiful and has made my day so much happier!

As I mop and dust and remove the rust, from around my appliances, doors, and floors in my home, it's as if I removed the mask that once covered the beautiful view from my eyes. My perceived ideas that were once deluding me and rendering me unwilling or unable to see beautiful friendships established between friends that choose to be friends is no longer hampering my vision of beauty to be found during the course of life events.

Understand that by allowing yourself and others to engage in dreams, judgement-free,there is beauty; the beauty from you to me; from me to you..

Discover beauty in daily living..

~I enjoy learning from you and from others offering me knowledge continuously.

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Message of the Universe: Never Underestimate Your Work

"What if every wrinkle, scar, or gray hair only made you more beautiful? What if every tear you've shed, mistake you've made, and challenge you've faced, only drew you closer to the light? And what if, for every breath you've taken, every sentence you've spoken, and every path you've chosen, your fans in the unseen multiplied?

Well, I'd say it's about time you found out.

Be proud, we are -

The Universe"

What you can't see doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Subatomic particles can't be seen from the naked eyes but they do exist. Everything you do has an impact. The way you talk to people, the way you pay attention to things around you, treating others with respect, give yourself enough credit for all the hard work you put in have an impact on your life and everyone around you. Looking at your life now, today, may not seem like a great deal to you but considering the fact that you have personally grown spiritually should be more than enough for you to know that you are on the right path. You are in control of your destiny, in control of your actions and when you share yourself to others, either be financially or knowledge base, you create changes around you that are greater than what you would ever imagine. Never underestimate your contribution and always give yourself credit in everything you do.

Always respect free will when you interact with others. Never force anything on anyone. Give advice when requested and leave it for the other person to take action or not. If same advice is requested over and over again, you can then decide if you want to continue feeding this negative behavior by keeping on listening to their complaints or stay away. It is really up to you. Everyone can make their own decisions based on facts and figures presented to them. By being there for them in that moment of need, you are making a positive change in their lives and by finding a solution, you have saved someone from major depression or worst. Focus on helping yourself as well and never forget who you were then and who you are NOW.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-of-the-Universe:-Never-Underestimate-Your-Work&id=9613698

Message of the Universe: Ignorance Is Not ALWAYS Bliss

"Some look, but don't see.

Some listen, but don't hear.

And some know, but don't do.

And they have fun, but not jumping-waving-crazy-dodgeball kind of fun.

Jump,

The Universe"

Some might look at things, but don't see opportunities.

Some might listen to things but don't pay attention or hear anything.

Some know how to do it but are too afraid to fail so they end up NOT doing anything.

Sometimes, ignorance is bliss and by not seeing opportunities, or hearing anything that can help better themselves with advice given by others with more experience, or have dreams but not taking actions at all to make these dreams come true might end up living a regular life and be happy with it. Do you want to be the same? You are the only one who can answer that question.

Being an entrepreneur have taken me in most thrilling ride of my life. Not knowing about the future, not knowing if any projects I dive in would render the expected and anticipated results, not knowing if I can pay my bills because of lack of funds by investing in the wrong projects. I really have NO clue to what will happen the next day, or week or month or year. I live by the edge of my seat. I constantly look and search for my ultimate mission in this planet and with every step I make towards reaching my goals, my gut feelings tells me I am on the right track. I have no idea what track that is but I don't see my life any other way. I am NOT a 9-5 type of guy, and I strive with uncertainties. Nothing is guaranteed in life so I need to create my own certainties. Many are looking for financial freedom, wealth and prosperity and have grandiose dreams but do nothing to put them in execution. They are too afraid to fail and choose the route of least resistance. If you want something in life, go and get what you want and expect failure and more failure along the way. However, failure is just a lesson, not a result. Failure gives you the tools to do better next time around. I am sure you failed classes in college but you kept moving forward until you completed your degree. The real world is tougher, more demanding and can beat you down to your knees and keep you there if you let it. Fight harder, longer and be persistent. You will win at the end. Life, in reality, is just a game. Depends on what side you will finish.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-of-the-Universe:-Ignorance-Is-Not-ALWAYS-Bliss&id=9679674

5 Signs You're An Emotionally Intelligent Individual (By Jonar Arpon)

I've been wanting to write this for awhile, finally came around to it. The information I've gathered thus far is through having such a wide array of friends and mentors in numerous different aspects of life.

From the Long Beach gang members who changed their life around to the millionaires who had absolutely nothing and overcame tremendous obstacles to get where they are.

Also, the individuals who are going for it and who aren't quite there yet and the drug addicts who somehow made it out of a life of despair and depression. Take these signs as more of an opinion than fact.

This article isn't about the successful, the wonderful, nor the wealthy. These are the 5 signs I've noticed that make up an emotionally intelligent individual.

Here are the 5 signs that show you are an emotionally intelligent individual.

1. You know your strengths and weaknesses.

Emotionally intelligent people know what they soar at and what they're not so good at.

Let's take this a step further, they usually work on the strengths rather than weaknesses based on the fact that they get more done not worrying what they're weak at.

They focus on what they can do and don't work too much on things that they're not naturally keen on undertaking.

2. You understand others.

This is important because you're emotionally sensitive to what someone is feeling. I was at a bar the other night and I met a girl by the name of Sasha, I was having a beer with my friend and for some reason, she sat down near our table and overheard our conversation. I told her to come pull up a chair and we chatted about different things.

I asked her "what's your favorite color?" she replied "blue." I said "interesting." There's a point I'm making, you can tell a lot about someone's favorite color. Let me give you an example, if you say your favorite color is red it most likely means you have a sharkish attitude.

A go-getter who takes nothing from no one. If your favorite color is black it's most likely you've had a dark past. I could go on and on all day actually but she said blue. Let's start with what blue actually, stands for. It stands for a socialite, the life of the party, a good friend who's doesn't do too well all by him/herself. You see what's crazy she majors in linguistics.

What is linguistics? It's language, it's communication which directly correlates to what her favorite color is because in order to understand others you need to communicate well which she did. Anyhow, I digress, she was very easy on the eyes so she was welcomed to have a nice chat with me.

I told her "No way, linguistics? language? that's beautiful, I'm actually a creative writer and I run a blog online."

She wanted to see what my blog was all about so I showed it to her and she said "OMG I need to read your stuff, I hand her my phone she for some reason adds her phone number in it without me asking for it and reads it.

She said afterward "I love your style of writing and I feel what you're saying is so true!." I said, "who are you reading this for?"

She said, "Well I'm kind of dating a couple guys and I don't know who to pick." I replied "BS who are you reading this for to find out about?" she said, "Okay you caught me there's this guy I can't figure out... "

You see you have to read between the lines of what people say. An emotionally intelligent person will catch on pay attention to what you're not saying more than what's coming out of your mouth.

3. You give and don't expect anything in return.

Emotionally intelligent people give and don't expect anything in return based on the fact if you're intelligent you know this person won't pay you back. Just kidding.

But seriously, you give not for the sake of pleasing other it's almost a narcissistic quality because you're doing it to feel good. It feels good to give, because if you're a believer in karma then you know you'll receive tenfold when you give.

I donate on a monthly basis to St. Jude hospital, to be brutally honest with you, yes I do love helping the children that it helps and I also want to add it's because I always get something more for what I put out. So it's always good to give!

4. You won't allow anyone to ruin your day.

This is big because sometimes you're just going through it and someone says something or does something that could potentially ruin your entire day. Not let me make this crystal clear folks, it's okay to feel bad, but only for a few minutes.

It cannot be something that takes on your whole day. In my personal experience, the most valued trait in the industry of sales is to take the hits and keep rolling. If you're going to get your ass whooped, you might as well get it over with quick right?

This is powerful because you control your state of mind and your state of mind determines your quality of life. This is a strong trait I've seen in emotionally intelligent people as well so keep this in mind if you want to build your emotional intelligence.

5. You're not afraid to make mistakes and let go of negativity.

I've crashed and burned my harder and faster than many people out there. Many can vouch for that and I made it out, not completely unscathed but I'm doing better than most and not as good as some. You can't be afraid man, you just got to go for it and hope for the best.

Highly emotionally intelligent individuals aren't afraid to make mistakes because that's part of life. You also have to let go of the negativity, the bad stuff that happens in life.

Jim Rohn says "It's not the wind that determines where you're going it's the set of the sail." Bad people, bad relationships, jobs that aren't doing you any good, sometimes you have to let it go.

I was stuck at a whack call center job in Los Angeles awhile back and I felt as if I was a professional race care driver in a 1988 Toyota Corolla. By no means am I saying Toyotas are bad but the car is 30 years old and no matter how good of a driver I am the vehicle cannot let me drive to my fullest potential.

Lesson learned, I made a mistake and put myself in a vehicle I wasn't going to reach $10K+ months in income and I let go of it and found a vehicle I could make what I wanted.

Highly emotionally intelligent people realize mistakes have to be made, that's why most people who are billionaires are usually 50+ in age because they've made so many mistakes but let go of the negativity and came out on top.

http://ezinearticles.com/?5-Signs-Youre-An-Emotionally-Intelligent-Individual&id=9613875

Your Passed Down Destiny

What is 'passed down destiny'? Addictions and issues that afflict us from the time of birth like a mother using drugs giving birth to a baby who has the addiction or a baby whose natural father has an alcohol addiction are some examples. Learned behavior patterns like domestic violence, unfaithfulness, abuse, poverty, lack of education, anger issues, lawless or gang behavior and gaming the system are learned behaviors that are so entrenched in the foundation of our beliefs that it becomes generational... passed down destinies.

Those in these kinds of circumstances frequently respond to the question of 'why' with time worn words, 'my whole family is like this, even my grandparents. It's just who we are, always have been.' And over the years, it becomes their history. If there is a doubting Thomas in the family look for that to be the first one who leaves and breaks out of the tradition of losing. Why is that? Because the me you see is the me you will be. They don't believe what they see or hear and so are open to expecting or demanding something more in life.

These afflictions are common and are identified as societal issues, defined by the word 'dysfunctional,' yet they are the norm for the family who is caught in its grip. For the most part it is a pretty depressing life that seems hopeless. There are support groups and counselors who specialize in breaking these chains that bind so tightly. Many have been very successful. Regardless of the method you choose to combat these invisible enemies, there are five magic words that lie behind every 'cure.'

Put a stop to it. That is the magic formula, those five simple words. Leaving this kind of despair behind requires you to put a stop to every behavior that reinforces it; including accepting it as truth. You must be willing to examine your own behavior and how it affects the lives you touch. Whenever that behavior rears its head, put a stop to it. Stopping domestic violence, unfaithfulness, abuse, poverty, lack of education, anger issues, lawless, gaming the system or any other behavior that causes you pain, including substance abuse, requires you to put a stop to it.

If you are tired of the hand me down state of mind that has accompanied you on your life journey without ever asking your permission to be in your life, put a stop to it. You have to be willing to pay attention to your responses and examine your belief system to break the pattern. Wherever it originated from, it belongs to that person, not you. It became a part of your life because you were too young or helpless to make a change, now you are older and wiser. You have a choice to pass down a better destiny, one that you create, to your children and grandchildren as you alter the course of your own life... if you are willing to put a stop to it.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Your-Passed-Down-Destiny&id=9569323

A Good Beginning Makes A Good Ending

Our lives are full of beginnings and endings. The style of thinking that is becoming dangerously common is "If you can't be number one or number two, then you might as well not play at all. It's more important to start than to succeed. Take a risk, get started, and contribute something. This is especially true at first. Have the courage to start.

Each person can then see how everyone else adds value.This requires the people who are responsible for the system concerned pay attention to the purpose of the system so that they can take action to make sure everything is in its right place. When the right person is in the right place for the right reasons at the right time, we can feel confident there will be a good relationship that will serve the purpose of the system.

Beginnings are important. They set the stage for what will come after. If a step still seems daunting, break it down further. When you are mindful of what is actually happening it stops you worrying about what might happen in the future. And whatever happens in the future you will be able to handle. Set challenges for yourself.

So, good beginnings require the system to provide an invitation based on personal alignment, a warm welcome, an orientation and explanation of boundaries, space for new entrants and the opportunity for everyone to get to know each other. This might have included acknowledging: the recognition of what you had contributed the possibilities of your contribution being leveraged in the future the part you had played in this system even though you were to be leaving the value of the experience the gifts you developed that you would be taking with you the memories you would take with you the appreciation you felt possibly the sadness at leaving the joy of what was coming next When all these things are said, people can look each other in the eye, feel seen, acknowledged and respected, and both be free to go forward on a good basis.

We aren't just being forgetful, or complacent. In our professional lives, getting a good start can have dire consequences. For procrastinators, that vision is blurry. Our motivation to start any task depends on us seeing value in it, yet we place more value on what is happening currently over what the future holds and justify this decision by emotionally disconnecting ourselves from our future self.

Some of this hesitation is warranted because you want to ensure that all your ducks are in a row, but there comes a breaking point where all of your reviewing and polishing is merely an illusion for hiding.

The point is, the longer you delay, the longer it will take for you to learn something from what you started.

Our job as professionals, then, is to finish what we begin. It isn't about removing the fear or uncertainty from the process. It isn't about reducing every opportunity for failure or disaster.

http://ezinearticles.com/?A-Good-Beginning-Makes-A-Good-Ending&id=9711522

Why Happiness Comes From Being Your Higher Self

Have you ever worn different masks in front of different people to present a different version of yourself?

We all surely have if we were honest enough. And that's totally okay, sometimes situations require you to summon different kinds of personalities, energy or resourceful state in order to produce the best outcome.

However, if you let the standards of society, the status quo of culture and the "what's weird or not" kind of majority thinking to influence you to become who you are, then you're not living your own true life.

You are just surviving like a Star Wars clone, drone or a R2-D2 robot.

While we have to abide by the laws set out by our society, we don't have to listen to its guidelines all the time.

It will be way happier and free to define the lifestyle you want to have and the way you want live. No one ever stands out by being the same as everyone else and standing out as an individual will NOT get you killed.

When you make the decision to live life as you see fit, you will find that you'll become much more carefree.

Your parents wanted you to be a doctor and they sent you to medical school. But you have always wanted to do something else. What usually happens? You either stick with the 6-year degree and hate what you do OR you move on to unleash your entrepreneurial spirit and start a business that's more fulfilling.

How can you find out what is going to make you happy? This is easy.

Next time you find yourself daydreaming, try to pay attention to what it is you were daydreaming about. If the same thing comes up frequently, this is a huge hint from the Universe as to how you want to live.

This doesn't just work for your career. It can be for any aspect of your life.

If you continually think about areas of your life that seem empty, ask yourself what it would take to fill that hollow feeling, inner hunger and emptiness. That is what you want to focus on.

As I have always emphasized, taking huge imperfect action is always the solution to leading a more rewarding, passionate, fulfilling life.

You will be happier as will the people in your life. When you vibe with such positive energy, people around you will notice and be influenced to do the same.

Be okay with the fact that some people close to you will try to give you unsolicited advice as to what is best for you.

Very often, they do it out of love and fear.

They love you so they want you do what seems to them the best for you so you don't get hurt. But they are also scared that if you don't listen to their "advice", you'll succeed and they will lose you.

Just remember that it's your life and you are the only one that can live it.

There will be also people who want you fail because if you are successful, you take away their excuses and make them look bad.

Just ignore these negativity voices. Focus on your own thing. Think about the long-term benefits you will get when you live life on your terms rather than theirs.

Nothing will change until you take massive imperfect action towards living your own life, one on your own terms, that's best for your highest self.

You will be stuck living on the expectations of others and you will look back on your life when you are older and wonder why you didn't do the things you always wanted to do.

The choice is now yours. How will you choose?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Happiness-Comes-From-Being-Your-Higher-Self&id=9536050

Reflections of Your Glory

Thought the word glory would never apply to you? It applies to everyone! Most people live their life without ever giving a thought to how their words and actions may be a reflection of the glory of who they became. For those who are aware the results are far more profound! Where are the reflections of your glory?

Just look around you for the results, search your memories and pay attention! The following are only a few examples you can review to see the results of your guidance and beliefs that have touched others' lives.

1. The most obvious is your children. Who are they? Were they filled with childhood dreams? Did they rest peacefully at night knowing that whatever might be lurking in the shadows, your love protected them? Did you inspire their creativity or ignite a spark of passion that encouraged them to try harder or go the distance? If they are secure, well balanced and unafraid to pursue their dreams your parenting experience has been brilliant.

2. Do you take the time to acknowledge your parents, to notice the elderly and their special needs? Do you offer them respect for their years of wisdom gained? Do you encourage their independence while providing the necessary protection they require? When you replace mediocrity in their lives with understanding and unconditional love you reinforce the beauty of the life force.

3. How do you relate to the homeless or less fortunate people whose path you cross? Do you offer a smile and look them in the eye? Do you encourage them, feed them or contribute with ideas that may inspire them to see solutions? Your willingness and ability to relate to those less fortunate with empathy and compassion are major indicators of character. If you take the time to greet them as equals, to see the glory in them, you have re-instilled their faith in tomorrows that can be filled with wonder.

4. How do you perceive animals in your life? Do you take the time to appreciate the unyielding love, loyalty and devotion your animal friends offer? Do you take the time to acknowledge pets, to offer a loving pat that says 'I notice you and I care?' Do you take the time to care about and act on abused or injured animals? If so, you have shared the grandeur of selfless love.

5. Are you aware of the gifts of nature that surround you? Do you respect the planet for all that it provides? Do you make the effort to conserve water and energy to prevent unnecessary depletion of her natural reserves? Do you take the time to inhale the fresh air that is provided, to enjoy her sunrises and sunsets that are before you? If you do, nature is exalted by your gratitude. You are in touch with the splendor of God that is before you.

Taking the time to care, to counsel, to participate and to listen comprise the foundation of living in glory. Add a dash of faith and a sense of humor to ensure a life well lived and a legacy that reflects your true glory.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Reflections-of-Your-Glory&id=9586362

Guaranteed Steps That Will Lead You to Self-Discovery

The best way of self-discovery is a personal journal. You can choose to keep a journal for only a week. You can put down promptly a total series of work during that whole week. This will help you to examine themselves and be able to tell the state that they are in and make them think seriously about what exactly they are.

A single day would correct the exception of the other and make yourself to weigh all those different acts which are forgotten within no time must be included. You do not have to buy a very expensive journal if you do not have money.

You can make use of the common books or get the not so expensive notebooks from various stores. This will bring out the right look of the true you. Do not be scared of your own thoughts. If you want to do this in a much simpler way, you can consider taking a mirror and sitting in silence while closing your eyes and pay attention to yourself. You should think from the time that you started your day in the morning to that time that you end your day in the evening.

Think about all that happened to you in the course of the day. For you to be able to focus more, you should be able to do this every single day for at least a month, as the saying goes, 'practice makes perfect.'

You should also look at your image in the mirror and pay attention or focus on yourself and talk to yourself. You can do this by complimenting yourself. You are also not to think of any negative thing, let your mind think of only positive things. You should remove all the negative thoughts from your mind. Sometimes you might feel sad or scared, do not cast them away but instead, clinch on to them and look into the mirror and accept yourself the way you are.

You will at some point experience these strong feelings when we are able to look at ourselves when we can say these words and imply them. When you reach this point, you can now grab your pen and start to write down whatever you feel at this particular time. If you journal about yourself for several weeks then by the end of the month you would have formed a series of self-discovery evidently.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Guaranteed-Steps-That-Will-Lead-You-to-Self-Discovery&id=9824709

Understanding Your Instincts

Are instincts really important? Animals survive by them; it was vital to the survival of humans from the beginning of time. Are they still important? It helps to understand the origin of what we accept as truth and how we arrive at conclusions. Everyone is using their instincts but many allow the information to be clouded or discarded.

Instincts originate through the innate, a little discussed but vastly important part of the human being. This is the smart body of our own energy that surrounds each person. Its field extends from the center of our being to 12 feet in every direction surrounding us, invisible to the naked eye but perhaps the most vital tool for survival we have. The innate exists without emotion, reading the energy of every person and developing situation with precision and 100 percent accuracy. It also acts as a communication source from our higher consciousness, correctly delivering information that is vital to our wellbeing. What does that mean, how is the information transferred to us?

Situations that exist within the body, such as impending health issues are delivered by several methods. The one you understand and will react to is the one that will be used for you. You may suddenly be drawn to articles or programs about specific medical ailments, have vivid dreams, become abruptly more aware of an organ and its function or simply a sense of knowing something is not quite right. The more serious the malady the stronger the signal will be. A sense of foreboding or impending doom or the thought that you should get things in order signifies a possible serious illness. If you are uncertain wait for clarity, it will come.Pay attention and act on these feelings.

What about those new people you meet? Your very first feelings or reading of that person is correct, for you. You may be in a crowd or with friends who all have a different feeling about that person. Are you wrong, should you accept what they believe as truth for you? Never, not ever; this can be dangerous and lead you to become involved with someone who is utterly wrong for you. The information you are receiving is absolutely accurate about how that person will affect your own life. Their impact may be completely different for the others. Yours is correct for you.

Those sudden feelings you get about taking different routes to a familiar place or avoiding something that you typically do originate from the same source. You are being given information about what is approaching for you. How about that 'parking angel' that always seems to be looking out for you and finding a place? That is you, your innate conveying the information to you!

As humans evolved and technology and training became an important part of life we have trained ourselves to do something very dangerous. We receive an accurate reading on a situation and instead of accepting it as truth we transfer it to our brain where we weigh the information, just like comparing links on a search engine, selecting the one that seems to fit. The brain is also unemotional, acting like the hard drive of a computer where all the information we gain in life is stored. We search when we inquire within and then select what seems appropriate. The accurate answer may not be stored there.

If our 'search' involves a person who is a potential partner or friend we transfer the information from our brain to our heart where it becomes fired with emotion, totally clouding the instinctive and accurate information that was given before we began our efforts to examine the issue.

Accept the precision of your first instinctive reaction. If it is good then you can proceed to the brain and possibly the heart. The natural process forwards information to our heart last, knowing that once it arrives there important things can happen. Some are wonderful; others can break the human spirit or cost us our life. Don't fall into the trap of being the judge who overrules the most important evidence before you. Understanding your instincts is vital to enjoying the life you were intended to live.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Understanding-Your-Instincts&id=9646374

11 Ways To Increase Positivity In Your Life

#One. Breathe

Stop for just a moment and have a slow, deep breath. This will lower your level of stress by kick-starting your rest response, and stabilising your heart-rate and blood pressure level. From the calmer place, it is possible to more efficiently handle challenges and then make better decisions. Build your own happy place anywhere with one breath.

#Two. Movement

Take a stroll, even just ten minutes can improve your frame of mind and lower anxiety by releasing those feel-good endorphins and giving a better sense of well-being. Or stretch some part of the body with long, turning motions to get rid of muscle tension, and reduce stress: love those feel-good and do-good hormones.

#Three. Music

Enjoy music that uplifts you. Upbeat music has been discovered to give a significant positive effect on emotions as well as energy levels, in addition to boosting the health of the heart and brain. Have a break from 'The News', and the pressures of life, and raise your mood with the press of a music button.

#Four. Sleep

Do what you are able to get a good night's sleep to provide the body the very best chance for repair and revitalisation. Try for a surrounding that is darker, quieter plus more comfortable, and go to bed at a regular time. Let go of worries by jotting them down and focus on your breathing while you lie quietly.

#Five. Appreciation

Consider the positive things in your daily life, along with the part which you play in them being there. Good things happens because of you, due to what you are about and what you do. You will be making the difference in bringing the positivity into your life plus the lives of others.

#Six. Mindful

Take notice of the moment you're in. Yesterday has been and cannot be changed, and the future is not yet here, and can always be managed with a psychic reading. Develop the skill of focussing on the present moment, accepting how the situation is, and making conscious, positive choices.

#Seven. Nature

Head outdoors, look for a tree, or even just sit in front of a pot-plant. Being with nature is actually a tonic for stress and depression, that will do wonders for the immune mechanism: there's research which shows it lowers concentrations of cortisol and increases health-promoting white blood cells.

#Eight. Strengths

Name and use your strengths. Pay attention to what you're pretty good at, when you feel confident and capable. Intentionally call on those strengths once the going gets tough. Expressing your real character strengths is often a way to empowerment, self-esteem and greater wellness.

#Nine. Actions

Do the things you love doing more regularly. Remind yourself of what gives you pleasure and brings you happiness, and then make an effort to add more of that in your life. Schedule time to increase those experiences in new and various ways to a raise your positivity.

#Ten. Be Connected

The most powerful of all positivity tips is get in touch with others. Pay attention to your relationships, spend some time to be with others and you'll be there to support each other person during times of greater need. Remember, It's people! It's people! It's people!

#Eleven. Future

http://ezinearticles.com/?11-Ways-To-Increase-Positivity-In-Your-Life&id=9779016

Pay Attention to Your Inner Friend

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” 

― Steve Maraboli,

Do You Sabotage Your Own Efforts?

  

I'm sure that many of us have experienced a point in our lives where we've became aware of the need to start making some positive changes. We may feel ready to commit to formal New Year's Resolutions or simply say 'today's the time to focus on spring cleaning our habits, friends, relationships and ultimately our lives'.

Yet how often do those goals and important objectives quickly become sabotaged and hi-hacked? We may not fully appreciate why it's happening but unconscious resistance can interfere with our desire to break out of old habits and behaviour patterns.

It can be interesting to look at those occasions:

- Many of us will be able to recall a time when we were determined to address our eating or drinking habits and make healthier choices. Before too long we were making excuses to regularly visit the supermarket to buy one or two items that we suddenly needed urgently, had unexpectedly run out of or had accidentally forgotten.

These are great examples of how we sabotage our efforts by convincing ourselves that we're 'just' popping to the shops to buy those urgent supplies, the bread or milk. We tell ourselves that we'll only be a few minutes, insist that we'll limit ourselves to those specific aisles, but then find ourselves wandering along the other lanes 'just in case' we see something else we need. Often the temptation can become so strong that we end up buying chocolates, a bottle of wine or something that we really shouldn't. Deep down though we knew we'd succumb!

- Or it may be that we choose to implement a fitness regime with a friend or colleague who we unconsciously suspect is not fully committed. There may be a part of us that acknowledges we need to go regularly to the gym, run a marathon or commit to a health objective but in reality we're less than enthusiastic. Choosing to workout with someone who is less motivated than ourselves can bring a much easier going, less tenacious approach. Then if the plan fails after a week or so we can blame someone else, excuse ourselves far more easily, shrug our shoulders and feel vindicated.

- What about if a relationship's floundering? Maybe there's an estrangement which could go either way and we feel quite stressed and want to ensure that our position is fully understood. We know that texting, when we need to communicate information, is an efficient, concise, documented way of communicating, but struggle to hold ourselves back from being more hands on and pushing for a more interactive involvement. The problem is that entails talking to the other person.

We may tell ourselves that we hate texting; it's far quicker and more efficient to phone with our message. But if we're at a sensitive stage in the relationship we may know deep down that we're putting ourselves in a vulnerable place when we contact them via the phone. Typically we know that we'll end up asking questions, explaining ourselves in painstaking detail or going through the arguments and grievances yet again.

It can be more sensible to limit ourselves through the use of text. It's important to hold onto the knowledge that it's in our best interests to resist the temptation to phone and avoid inflaming the situation even further.

In any of these instances, be aware of what the underlying sub-text is if you frequently find yourself missing out on completing your objectives, especially ones that you feel would significantly benefit your life. And accept that it may be beneficial to enlist help if you find this repeating pattern too difficult to break on your own. Learn to pay attention to what happens when you become distracted and veer off course. Listen to what your thought patterns and feelings are saying. Intercept them and deal with the information.

It may be that you're not really committed to losing weight, getting fit or letting go of the relationship just yet. Discover where you're at; only then can you ascertain what would motivate and work for you. That way you're less likely to sabotage your efforts and goals.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Sabotage-Your-Own-Efforts?&id=7112690

Have You Put Your Oxygen Mask On?

 
Would I be right in thinking that when you were growing up, you were told that putting yourself first is selfish? Me too!

So you learnt to do as you were told, in order to get approval - the idea of disapproval when you were a young child, especially from your parents or primary carers, would have been unbearable. So you towed the line. This, then, may well have become a belief which you have been operating from since that time.

The effect of this may be far-reaching. Ask yourself the following question:

If this is true, how is this impacting on my relationships, both business and personal, right now?

For example, when discussing fees with clients, if you have this belief that you can't put yourself (your business) first, you're much more likely to offer discounts, do extra work for free or under-charge in the first place. It's not necessarily what you would like to do; it's unconsciously what you believe you must do either to acquire or keep the client and in return, you receive approval.

So you see, there is a pay-off, even though it's not monetary!

You may never have thought of this in this particular way. Time, me thinks, for a quick review.

Consider the following. If you've ever been on a plane, which I imagine you have, you will have no doubt listened to the safety instructions given by one or more of the flight attendants.

You will surely remember the bit where they run through what will happen if the pressure drops - i.e. an oxygen mask will drop down. They make it very clear that if you have children, you should put your own oxygen mask on first so that you can then take care of your children properly. If you don't put yours on first, you may not be in a position to look after them.

Let's apply the above principle to your business. If you don't pay attention to it first, and make sure you charge effectively, you won't have a business and therefore won't be able to help your clients!

So here's a simple, three-step process you can adopt right now to help you consider your needs:

1) Stop and make a conscious decision before acting.

2) Ask yourself: do I need to put my oxygen mask on?

3) Take the appropriate action.

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