How Teens Can Overcome Low Self-Esteem

What do you do if your son comes to you one morning and announces that he doesn't want to go to school? You then ask "Why not?" He retorts with "Because no one likes me; they might make fun of me". This is where you can begin teaching your teen about how to overcome low self-esteem.

What if he made a new friend the very next day, someone who liked him a lot and wanted to play the same games as he did? What if he became your son's very best friend? If he doesn't go to school, he misses the opportunity of meeting that new friend. Point out the positive side, what good things can happen.

Find some children's books about kids overcoming problems and finding the good things in life, and read them with your children. Or make up your own stories about kids facing their fears and coming out as winners. You may have to do a lot of storytelling before they're feeling braver, but it will happen. Relate some stories of your own courage and perseverance in school, to show your child it is possible to overcome fears and live happily. Teach them early on to consider the positive side to problems rather than the negative; that changing your attitude changes your life.

If you start the self-esteem boosting regimen early enough in their life, you can save yourself a lot of irritation later on. As children grow older, you have to deal more and more with adolescent emotions. By the time they hit their teen years, it's important to have that self-esteem firmly in place, if you can.

When your children hit the mid teens, they're seeing everything in black and white. If one of their friends inadvertently hurts their feelings, they could see that as meaning that no one likes them. Keep in mind that teen emotions are more intense and extreme than in early childhood. Your teens see themselves in a completely different way than your young children do.

Teens are undergoing cognitive and emotional development, and this can lead to them feeling depressed and moody. You'll find they have trouble developing a general idea based on a specific idea or experience. As children become teens, the biggest issue is developing their own personal independence. They are trying to master skills they need day-to-day and finding some control over their environment. They're accepting the fact that they're growing up and deciding if they feel safe in their little world.

They're searching for their own identities. In the process, they can sometimes go to extremes, going deliberately against your wishes and even your beliefs. Because of the changes taking place in their bodies and their minds, it can produce some depression and moodiness. This should not be confused with clinical depression. Keep in mind that teens express their emotions very differently than younger children. It may even seem to be a little overly dramatic in some cases.

As they strive towards self-understanding, they may see themselves as completely helpless, without talents and skills, hopeless cases; but as your teens learn to increase their own competence and self-understanding, the histrionics will diminish.

The best ways to handle the dramatics is to remain calm and continue to boost your teens' self-esteem. Show them that they do indeed have talents and skills; everyone does. At that age, they just haven't had a chance to discover them yet, but they will. As they show an interest in one subject after another, simply encourage them in each one. You'll never know when one will turn out to be the driving force in their life and become the dream for their future.

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The Lucky Person (In A Self Made Way)

Consistent winners, what are they? Indeed, that is a question worth asking. Thomas Jefferson once had a quote about creating luck through working hard. Sure, more than difficult work is required to create a winner, certainly. But, winning requires its share of work to be a consistent one. For one thing, to be able to repeatedly win, you must understand the pitfalls and mistakes to avoid through temporary failure before consistent winning. Some will fully understand my meaning and some will have to ultimately get it, but, a real loser depends on initial luck and quits if that initial effort ends up a failure. That is the wrong way to approach life and existence. Indeed, consistent loss is depending on initial luck fully, consistent winning is initial failure, understanding what you did wrong, and then getting it right next time.

With the above said, even Michael Jefferey Jordan, the great basketball player did not make his high school team on the first try, but he went on to become a basketball champion anyway with legendary status in the sport of basketball. Indeed, understanding failure and then correcting your efforts is the best way to go, not depending on initial good fortune to get you through without being able to repeat it genuinely.

Indeed, the biggest failure is failure to perceive what makes a genuine and repeatable winner more than the "good fortune" itself. This is even true in a wasted poker game, also. After all, some of the greatest poker champions lost a lot of tournaments before they developed their winning styles after all. So, the biggest loss in anything is the perception of the lesson or lack of perception of the lesson in the mind, between the ears, or whatever perceives the reality of the situation at the time the situation is happening. Sure, we can all take action, but the proper action is what helps us win, and the improper action is that which makes us genuinely fail. With that said, proper experience is always better than initial lucky success on the first try without experience, however "good" the success may initially feel or seem. So, "getting off easy at first" is almost always never a good thing when considering genuine and repeatable success. After all, where do you think the saying "He who really succeeds first understands it at last" or this one "We all love to win, but who loves to train?" That is my big point in this article, we make our own ultimate luck, luck is never really given, even when we seem to succeed "without effort". Ultimately to be repeatable, success must fully be understood.

So, I end with a quote about this phenomenon from the great singer Johnny Mathis:

"I'm really pretty much a regular person who just got very lucky. I got involved early on in my life with a lot of wonderful people who helped me and guided me. I found out what I really liked to do and that was sing. And I had a lot of help to accomplish most of my goals."

That quote seems like a minor quote, but it shows the reality of what I am writing about just fine, because real and sustained success comes through understanding, and absorbing lessons that work. Do not just believe me, understand me here.

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Dealing With Reality

We all want to win, but we all need to train for it. That is reality. Without real, hard earned understanding, we just hack at life and cannot live efficiently. When we take the time to learn the in, out and everything in life, we get better results. It is just like when there is a difference between flying to the top of a mountain in a helicopter, plane or air vessel and genuinely climbing a mountain.

When I think about the genuine nature of reality, genuine winners genuinely do not try to cheat. I use the words "try to cheat", because ultimately the very concept of cheating is unrealistic, and ultimately harder than if the honest path were taken to the same goals. Honest "overnight greatness and success" is years of visualization, training and understanding all facets of what is being done. If anyone says otherwise, they are cheating at a very deep level, not only themselves, but the people they are telling that big lie to. It is almost like the concept of the payday loan saying "get three months pay now" without the full disclosure of "get three months pay now, but pay three years pay worth of interest on it" at the very least! So, get this: Cheating is the big fantasy trip, dealing with reality fully straight is the genuinely winning trip anyway. If you travel the real road, you will achieve your genuine goal. Fake it genuinely and you will not make it.

Being real is always worth it, then is it not? A life based on lying and cheating at deep levels always costs more anyway ultimately. Real is the most direct path there is to any goal. It is the genuine journey of the hero, anyway. Reality will deal with you on this level: If you are genuinely willing to take the honest path, reality will rise up to meet you as you meet that challenge. When I say willing as a word, I mean wanting your goal and working your goal so fully and so consistently, with perseverance, that nothing will break you from going for it.

So, in the end, every limitation disengaged and you have fully evolved past it all, were you real or were you a cheater? only your heart and reality can answer that itself within yourself when you face yourself. Think about it. Only you can answer that question genuinely for yourself when you are evolved enough, nobody else can.

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The Winners Or Those Who Can Take It Best

Persistence is more powerful than talent or innate ability, although both can help when you have them. Thinking about the art and reality of persistence, some of the greatest things, inventions and work have come out of persistence, even greater than natural talent can yield at times. That reality is what this article is about, and that is what you are going to get in the purest sense of that reality. After all, persistence and genuine desire and practice prolonged productively can make a force of nature out of a person that is superior to "natural talent" and "innate skill".

When I think about the life of a quitter, it is a bloody mess, that is it. If you can survive the bloody messes, then persist and persevere past them, that is when winning starts. Even Michael Jeffrey "Air" Jordan did not make his high school basketball team on the first try before winning all he did in basketball. Indeed, perseverance despite bloody messes and scars is where winning starts, nobody can tell anyone with sense any different either.

A genuine dyed in the wool "lucky" winner in life that has everything really working for them had lots of practice first, and lots of perseverance before genuinely "getting there". That person had so much practice and perseverance that it would look effortless. At least, that is my line of thinking on the realities of genuine winning. That is why genuine winning really is rare, and lottery winners who "get lucky" seem to be a "dime a dozen". Who wants to train and work when it is "easier" to "get lucky" too many rationalize. But when you earn it harder, you lose it harder and keep it better, any genuine winner rightly rationalizes.

Sure, moving "the big iron ball of reality" is a daunting task for so many, as it should be. Effort and earning is better than having it given to you always instead of depending on "easy lucky breaks" because it is appreciated more at least at a deeper level of mind and spirit or subconscious level of mind because of the fact that it was not easy, and it was earned.

After all, some of the greatest tragedies stem from the lucky breaks, unearned and easily given successes without the effort and perseverance to genuinely earn something. After all, life means nothing but the next genuinely great and sustained effort anyhow, and the earned means everything, the given and luckily "come by" means nothing. Not being able to duplicate a success can crush the spirit, being able to be permanently successful through genuine effort makes better and enriches the spirit permanently. Giving up leads to nothing and sustained effort leads to everything anyway.

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It's Our Daily Habits, Not Our Outer Circumstances

Our daily habits are those little things that we do every day without much thought. Our outer circumstances are those things that surround us every day that we are thinking too much about. Sadly, most of us can't stop thinking about how life is holding us back from our true greatness. Furthermore, many of us tend to neglect the power of our daily habits.

Many people who have made it big have had outer circumstances just as bad as, or even worse than ours. The difference between them and most of us is that they have learned not to dwell on the things that are outside of their control. These winners don't let the constant barrage of negative thoughts about their unfortunate situations clog and clutter their minds. They refuse to be paralyzed by their outer circumstances, and refuse to be held down in the stifling role of a Monday morning arm-chair quarterback.

You see, the real key to our success is not how good or how bad our living situation is. Rather, the real key to our success is all those tiny little human behaviors that we do every day, all day long, without much thought. These little routine behaviors are called our daily habits and they make a huge difference in our daily lives.

Our daily habits add up to a lifestyle that either moves us closer to our dreams and goals, or it doesn't. It's really that simple. Are our habits working for us to help us succeed? Or are we falling behind in life because we're working way too hard due to our bad habits. In essence, instead of our habits working for us, we are working for them and now find ourselves mired in a world of mediocrity, or perhaps even drudgery, while being perplexed about why we're not winning yet?

Now teens, go learn, lead, and lay the way to a better world for all of us. Remember that our destiny is based on our daily habits, not our outer circumstances. And once again, thanks in advance for all that you do, and all that you will do...

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