Confusion, Conflict and Chaos

Confusion in a literal sense means is the state of being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about something. It is also defined that an individual is in a state of disorientation due to many reasons. What is important is to find out the reasons of his confusion? At the outset, most people fall victim to confusion due to health reasons. However, a healthy person can be confused due to conflicting options available to him. Here, analyzing within the context will pave the way towards the correct conclusion. Nevertheless, people with less confident or lack of knowledge will become the victim of confusion.

It is advisable to listen patiently to those who have rational and composed on the subject. Their reasoning is comprehensive, substantial and convincing. Therefore, paying attention to the person and listening with concentration will paint a clear picture into his mind. He comes out of confusion and becomes productive and logical.

By and large, Conflict in groups arises due to different course of action among themselves. Although each member within the group justifies their views, thereby, disagree over the core issue. It is interesting to note that generally, every conflict returns to negotiation table at some point of time. The period of conflict varies subject to political, social, economic and cultural differing opinions. What has since been conspired or transpired between the groups within the time frame is very interesting? It is a fact that time is the best healer hence conflicts resolved to lead to compromise and accommodation of each other's needs.

I am specifying the core concept concerning group conflicts by Donelson R Forsyth, a social and personality psychologist. He narrowed down the group conflicts into four basic emotions:

1. Envy

2. Contempt

3. Pity

4. Admiration

Elaborating each emotion reduces down the preliminary issue to reconciliations. Again, it revolves around compromise and agreement within its means and objectives.

The effect of confusion becomes chaotic, and it needs to be understood comprehensively. The meaning and definitions of Chaos are varying subject to Mythology, Philosophy and Religion. It is written in books that in Greek mythology, according to Hesiod (Ancient Greek poet), chaos is the first thing to exist. In Cosmogony (The branch of science that deals with the origin to the universe, especially the solar system), it is the concept in classical creation myths. In Chaos magic, it is a branch of occultism. Chaos, especially in biblical usage, is a chasm or abyss.

It is conclusively defined that mathematically very few systems are truly chaotic, and we cannot apply these proofs to physical systems. Therefore, all difficult decisions in life are executed under uncertainty. Thus, Chaos theory gives better support to our decision-making.

In religion, the concept and meaning vary dramatically among different faith. However, in Islam, lack of certainty, and lack of believe in the faith give birth to doubt. The cardinal point is the clarity of mind in faith one practices. That is the point to ponder!

Furthermore, in a common man's language chaos is the bi-product of confusion and conflict jeopardizing the otherwise normal situation. The dynamic situation is to integrate the values arising out of chaotic situations. The rest becomes rhythmic oscillation between confusion and conflict. The chord can be harmonious if people involved are finely tuned; otherwise, it turned into chaotic situations. The cycle of uncertainty will eventually evolve into the positive outcomes. Then people will say, "All is well that ends well."

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Do What Makes You Feel Most Alive

The real journey in life is to do what makes you feel most alive. There is no lack of wonders in this world; it is just you not paying attention often enough to the marvels of this planet. Everything around you is incredible if you are willing to look at it that way. Or it can also be taken for granted.

Which way is your perspective for living today? What can you do to feel more alive? Are you following your heart's calling? Or do you only like what you do?

If I ask, it is because it is the key, the factor that helps you through whatever you are building or creating for yourself. It means to be passionate at the moment without thinking about yesterday or tomorrow, forgetting time. And it is to enjoy and love every part of what you are doing.

But it is also about the frame that you choose to put around things. I mean, merely being alive, is already a marvel of nature. The odds are so stacked against you. Not only being a human being is short of a miracle but living at this moment in time is extraordinary.

The Wonderful Opera of Life

In this day in age, breakthroughs and technologies are happening at an unprecedented rate. Things such as medical or metaphysical discoveries, or the way we connect with people all the way around the globe are a wonder in themselves. How everything we are living in right now is the most marvelous time ever. But you have to look at it that way so that you can feel most alive.

"Life is a wonderful opera, except that it hurts." - Joseph Campbell

So the question is: Do you see it as a beautiful opera or do you just pay attention to the pain?

And if I ask, it is because, at the end of the day, you are going to get what you are focusing on. They are both true. It is both the most amazing time that is ever happening in recorded history. Being alive, you are a part of it, and yet, real things that are terrifying are also happening.

Feeling Alive Begins in Your Mind

But where you put your energy, attention, and emphasis is going to determine what you see and that is the most fascinating. And the most important thing you have to understand, about the way your mind works, is that you get what you focus on. So it is vital to do what makes you feel most alive.

If you focus on the things that are bad, they become real. They will be emphasized, exaggerated, and will monopolize your thoughts. You will see them everywhere. It is no joke; it is a scientific fact. Your mind is literally designed to pay attention to the things that you notice.

Think for a moment! Never had a time where you once noticed a specific car, name, object, or any other thing, and then you saw it all over the place. So, once you remarked something, you suddenly realize that it was around you this entire time.

What Makes You Feel Most Alive

But now that you are focusing on it, now that you are looking for it, it is everywhere. So, whatever you look for, it is going to be all over. If you look for the negative, it will be there. But if you look for the positive, it will overwhelm you, making you feel alive.

Not that it is a bad thing but I used to grind in pursuit of money, and I then burned out. But once I started grinding in the name of what I most believe in and what makes me feel most alive, suddenly I began to succeed, and the rest followed. Today, I do not want to do it in any other way.

What you and I are seeking is the experience of being truly alive. That is when you are living in the present moment and not judging, or getting any highs or lows. It is just living and taking it all in. And it becomes so natural at some point that you feel most alive. However, you should prioritize more of the things that make you feel passionate and excited, and do it regularly.

Focus on Being Alive

So, it is a good reminder that success or wealth always turns up when you choose to do something that you love or make you feel full of life. That is it! It is the dominant calling within us. It is figuring out what makes you come alive.

Therefore, it is not keeping up with 'Game of Thrones' or how much you can get out of it, but instead, something meant for you. It is something particular, and it will be different for everyone. So, find the thing that makes you feel most alive.

Focus on it. Think about it. Put all your energy on that one thing. Set your time and all your attention there. Shift away from seeing the pain and the opera, and instead see the wonder in it all. Look at the glory that is just everything around you, the opportunities, and the fact that you are alive.

Ideas to Feel Most Alive

The point here is to do something that you feel passionate, excited, exhilarated about and most alive.

• Tell someone how you feel about them instead of waiting.
• Ask advice or encouragement from someone who has done what you want to do.
• Start finally pursuing your passion.
• Make the changes you want to make in your life.
• Try something you always wanted to try.
• Begin to create something you would enjoy and take the first step in doing it.
• Go somewhere you always wanted to go.
• Use a new belief to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
• Take one tiny step toward your big goal today.
• Pick one thing that resonated with you and do it.

Find Fulfillment in Life

Once you can see that those necessary things you take for granted like you can breathe through your nose and out through your mouth, and all of that typical stuff. You then see how miraculous it is, how connected we are to all of life, and understand that the name of the game is, before all else, what makes you feel most alive.

When you realize it and feel that way, wealth, success, ambition will follow. It is finding fulfillment in your life. Once you understand that this is a game of attention, you then can entirely control what you focus on.

So, choose very wisely, my friends, because your life will become the result of the things that you look at, and pay attention to. You may feel terrified, but so thrilled and alive. Therefore, do what makes you feel most alive in this world.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Do-What-Makes-You-Feel-Most-Alive&id=9885943

Why Do We Deprive Ourselves By Trying To Race To The Finish Line?

It's the harsh realization, but unless your in an actual race, it's not your job to race to the finish line. Life is short enough without all of society trying to quickly get through the next step before we've even finished the current step. It's so very important in this life to enjoy everything before you with joy and gratitude while paying attention to the journey along the way. It's in the journey of life that we receive our blessings, learn our lessons and grow as a person, but most are so busy taking that next step, that we tend to miss those important milestones that shape our lives.

For Type A personalities such as myself, this is such a hard lesson. By continuously focusing on doing what's right and attaining the goal, most times you miss out on all of the beauty right in front of you. More importantly, in life there are lessons to be learned and if you are continuously looking for the finish line, those lessons get away from you. But rest assured, they will most certainly come back to bite you. They always do, so take the time to smell the roses and enjoy the journey, however difficult a journey it may be. Truly, it's your journey to have and living in the now allows you to appreciate, recognize, process, learn and grow. Don't we all deserve that much?

Talk to the mother who couldn't wait for her baby to walk for the shear convenience of it, and then ask her how she feels after her baby no longer wants to be held. It's only when that child is now walking that she realizes she missed reveling in the moment of that very last time her baby wanted to be held close to her. It's a sad realization for her that she wanted to rush the process and she'll never be able to get that moment back.

Remember to take the time in this moment to look at all of the beauty around you. In chaotic, confusing or even sad times in your life, just take the time to sit in the current moment looking at all of the blessings in your life. Easier said than done, yes, but remember that at the end of the day, tomorrow is not promised. All you have is today and this moment. And although things may seem sometimes less than ideal and you may even have to look harder than usual at times, your blessings are always there, right in front of you.

I share this with you because writing is how I heal me, and I just recently forgot the lesson of enjoying the journey yet again. Like many, I fall down often, but eventually I get back up again and if I can help one person through my own experience, I'm being called to do just that. So please also share this with anyone you feel could use this gentle reminder of the important things in life.

Love and light to you! Enjoy the truly important things and your many blessings during this holiday season!

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The Addiction of Turning Ideas Into Reality

How many ideas do you have a day?

Now... A curious question - I wonder how many of them you have actually created and made real?

Really, I challenge you to take a moment and consider that.

If this sounds like a silly question to you, then perhaps you've never entertained the idea that you are the creator of your reality, but as Goethe said, 'whatever you can dream of you can create.'

What are you dreaming of I wonder?

Now I don't know about you, but the first time I heard this I thought - well if this is true then why am I creating so much crap?

And the answer - I wasn't paying attention, nor was I consciously choosing what I desired to create. It was like I was running the same programmes over and over, wondering why they were never taking me to where I wanted to be. I was unconsciously copying the people around me.

Now I believe that we can have a life of total adventure if we choose it, but many years ago I would have been sceptical.

So if this is you, I totally get it - but what if what you believed wasn't so, what space could that make to create something else?

I recently heard Josh Littlejohn speaking at TEDx talks in Glasgow. His speech was filled with loads of great and inspiring stuff of all the things that he has done (his story is a great one, especially when we talks about Social Bite) and how he was making a difference in the world. The most profound thing he said that really stuck with me was this, 'I realised that I could have an idea in my head and that I could make it real and that has become kind of addictive!'

And with everything he creates he is asking what else is possible? What else could I create?

Imagine if we all lived from that perspective?

Gary Douglas, founder of Access Consciousness says, 'Imagine not having to be entertained by things external to us, but being totally entertained by our capacities and our creations.'

That is the world that I would love to live in. A world where we don't complain and bitch about how hard done we are, or what's not working, but instead a world where we are all excited to talk about, and share the magic and awesomeness we are creating.

How utterly cool would that be?

And here is the thing about creating your reality, you have to play with it. Sort of like you are 5 or 6. Totally engaged with what is in front of you from a space of wonder and curiosity and asking questions.

Even questions like 'what else is possible?' or 'what's right about this I am not getting?' will begin to create a shift in your world.

And when that small voice jumps in, before you have even begun that tells you that you can't, it won't work and there is no point?

What if that voice isn't any more real than any other thought that you have... but that's an article for another time.

Putting your ideas into action can be addictive!

Wanna play?

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Addiction-of-Turning-Ideas-Into-Reality&id=8711879

Message From the Universe: What Is Behind the Big Black Hole in Our Universe?

"Remember the joy you used to feel when you'd find a quarter in the street?

And how exciting it was when you got older and found a crumpled $20 bill in the pocket of a pair of jeans you hadn't worn in months?

Well, brace yourself, because the day isn't far off when in-between taking naps, swimming laps, or doing the routine happy dance, you'll be busy gathering documents for your tax return accountant and suddenly find a statement to a bank account you don't even remember opening, with more than enough money in it to do whatever your heart now longs to do, probably twice.

You do trip us out.

Sure enough, 

The Universe"

This is how you should feel everyday of your life, when anticipating that great things will come your way. It may not be in the form of a bank account that you opened years ago and suddenly accrued enough interest to allow you to get the mansion down the street you always dreamed off. As long as you feel like great things will happen in your life and believe that you worked very hard to make all this happen, the Universe will start listening and paying attention to what you do, how you behave or act, how you treat people, how you help others so that it can render the results you expect the most.It may be hard for you to believe the HOW it will happen, or the WHEN. This is NOT your responsibility as the Universe is capable of doing that without even blinking. The supernatural force we have up there is just like that, SUPERNATURAL. However, that force is a creation of your own mind, you own desires and dreams, rendering reality based on your thoughts and actions.

I agree that all of what you are reading at this moment may seem far fetch, but until you start believing that all of what you see around you is a part of a creation that all started from this ONE point of singularity to eventfully create the world we see today. Without going too far in the theory of general relativity or quantum mechanics, we need to figure out how it all started with the big bang. If nothing was there, who had the thought to create what we see today. Obviously, all this can only be a theory as we can't see that far out after the 13.1 billion of years but it is possible that if what we see today started from that one point in space, that single pea size energy bubble that exploded, we can also assume that before the big bang, we had a big crunch, OR that on the other side of a big black hole, there is another Universe waiting to be created after another Big Bang, hopefully not happening around our solar system or galaxy. As no one was ever able to survive going pass the event horizon and live to tell the tale, we may just assume what happens if anyone or anything crosses the event horizon (sphagettification can occur after you pass the event horizon). Let's keep it all to just theory, how about that?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-What-Is-Behind-the-Big-Black-Hole-in-Our-Universe?&id=9772221

Ways to Use Affirmations to Help You Find Your Place in Life

I'm going to share with you some affirmations you can use to find your passion and what you do in life. First, let me share what happened with an acquaintance. I was doing a Body Talk session with her and boredom and came up. Unfortunately, boredom is a common experience of people in their job. Many people feel stuck because they aren't happy with what they're doing or they feel that something is lacking, but they don't know how to find that sweet spot of life.

How You Block Your Inner Knowing

Within you, what I call your inner knowing, is the answer to what it is you would like to do with your life. It isn't often in the form of a bill board. The answer is rarely delivered in a letter. Usually, you come to know where you belong in the work world by paying attention to the excitement or tingling sensation which comes when you think about a particular opportunity.

Many people try too hard to figure out what they want to do. Often, they completely forget to notice what they already enjoy. The key to your passion is what you love to do. There can be a wide variety of activities or occupations in what you most enjoy. For instance, if you enjoy working with children, and have the necessary education, you could be a teacher, adoption worker, foster care worker, own a day care, work with the Special Olympics, be a foster or adoptive parent, run or work in a camp, or multitudes of other possibilities.

Others cut off the knowledge that comes from deep within because they're afraid of making a mistake with their choice. If you have an idea of what you would like to do, and it involves a great deal of education, volunteer or apprentice in that particular area if at all possible. I have a cousin who wanted to be a nurse. That is an intense educational process. She decided to see if she would like that vocation by becoming educated at the lowest level of caretaking in the nursing field. After discovering she did, indeed, enjoy the nursing field, she became a nurse and worked in it for a number of years.

If you only work in your chosen field for a few years, you've gained invaluable experience. My personal belief is that every job or profession you undertake, as well as every experience in life, brings you to whatever is next. There are no mistakes in this area. There is only a gathering of experience and learning. Go ahead and take a risk and try doing something you have in mind.

Affirmations to Clear the Subconscious Mind

Now let's give your subconscious mind some instructions. These instructions are very important. They tell your subconscious mind what it is you actually want to happen in your life. Whatever is there on the deepest levels of yourself, that is what your subconscious mind works to make happen. We want to give this very powerful and often forgotten aspect of yourself some clear instructions about what you want. Remember, we want them to be positive.

Before I give you these affirmations, I want to impress upon you the importance of engaging the feeling level of yourself in this process. Don't just repeat the statements to yourself like the multiplication tables. Feel them. See yourself engaged and happy in whatever it is you're doing. Use all of your senses as you repeat these affirmations to yourself.

1. It is easy for me to know what I want to do with my life.
2. I pay attention to the quiet whispers of my inner knowing.
3. Every day my passion in life becomes clearer and clearer.
4. I am excited, delighted and fulfilled by what I have chosen to do.
5. I am filled with a sense of purpose.

Get started with these affirmations, now. Search the Internet for others which ring true to you. Take a risk and have fun.

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Valentine's Day - Few Random Thoughts and Observations About Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day come once a year, though it ought to be everyday.

Here are a few random thoughts, observations and tips for and about Valentine's Day:

• I often refer to Valentine's Day as "amateur night." What I mean by that is this: if you truly feel strongly toward another person, you don't have to have a special day to show it. You ought to be showing it all the time. At the same time, this does not let you off the hook on February 14th.

• And speaking of February 14th, there is something very important that most guys tend to forget about Valentine's Day. It's the same day every year, February 14th, the 45th day of the year. I'll say it again, February 14th. This means you can plan for it. Therefore, any guy reading this has been warned, and if you find yourself with several other said sacks scouring the card racks the night before, or even worse, the day of, to play off the immortal words of Jimmy Buffett, it's your own damn fault. And most women can tell the difference between a last minute card and one that was selected with care. Don't ask me how, they just can, and they're not telling.

• Heard about the 12 Days of Christmas? What about the 7 days of Valentine's Day? Just a thought...

• Not sure what to do for Valentine's Day? That means you have not been paying attention all year. So I'm here to rescue you if you have the guts to run with my suggestion. Ask your partner what would make a perfect Valentine's Day for him or her. Then to whatever extent possible, to the best of your ability, make it happen. And do not fall for the "Oh I don't need anything" line. Dangerous territory indeed.

• As part of Valentine's week, take over a chore your partner does not like.

• Here's one of my favorites: record a CD or create a playlist of your partner's favorite music. include some that express how you feel about your love.

• If you are currently doing in the relationship that is not working or is just plain old and tired, remember the first rule of ruts: when you find yourself in one, stop digging! Find something, almost anything, to do something differently. Use your creativity.

• Lastly, come up with 2 different plans for Valentine's Day. Choose one and do it. Then do the other one 3 months from now. Rinse and repeat.

• Just for fun: "I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon." ~ Author Unknown

http://ezinearticles.com/?Valentines-Day---Few-Random-Thoughts-and-Observations-About-Valentines-Day&id=6856555

Mindfulness Is a Different State of Mind

If you are new to the practice of mindfulness, the first thing you need to do is to be totally familiar with its definition, for hidden in plain sight in the definition is the clue to your successful practice.

Mindfulness, as defined by Jon Kabat Zinn, is paying attention purposefully, in the present moment, in a non-reactive way. The object of your attention or focus can be an external object, such as a flame on a candle, or an internal object. The three common internal objects are your body, emotions and thoughts.

For a beginner, it is easiest to start with the grossest object - one that is easy for you to focus on. In this respect, most beginners start their mindfulness training by learning to be fully aware of their bodily sensations, postures as well as noticing with greater details the daily experiences of the interactions between the five physical sense organs and the external objects.

For example, you can begin to become more mindful of your eating experience by remembering to be as fully aware as you can with the mechanics of chewing, tasting and swallowing each time you eat. You can also observe the movements of your limbs as you climb the stairs. Even while you are sitting and working at your computer, you can purposefully pay attention to your sitting posture, the pressure on your buttocks as well as the position of your spine and the various groups of muscles that are getting tense as a result of your posture.

Since paying attention to such mundane things that we have taken for granted is not something we do everyday at the conscious level, this is the first mental habit that we need to cultivate - to train our mind to focus on the objects of our conscious choice. This is by no means an easy first task as our everyday mind already has a well established habit of running all over the world with its attention, never staying with an object for any extended period of time. This everyday mind is what we called the monkey mind, for it behaves exactly like the restless monkey that jumps from one branch of a tree to another and never staying long in one place.

Next comes the next stage of learning to observe all our bodily experiences, and mental experiences, without being reactive to them. To achieve this, we need to train our mind to observe non-judgmentally so that the experience is not seen or filtered through our biased lenses. Again, this is a very different state of mind compared to our everyday mind that we are used to. Our everyday mind has the automatic tendency to prejudge things, people and events with our own likes and dislikes, which means we do not experience things as they really are. Instead, we experience them as we imagine them to be.

To be mindful, this non-judging quality is crucial as it is this quality of an open and curious mind that will give us a totally new perspective in our daily experiences. This is the beginner's mind that is open to all possibilities. When done right, mindfulness leads to a new state or quality of mind.

It is in this state of mind that you will begin to see things as they really are, free from your own filters, biases, prejudices, assumptions, beliefs and expectations.

Like all skills, it is the constant and continuous practice that will make you a better practitioner. Learn it now and habituated it in your life, and you will see your life transformed.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9507589

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Self-Development: Is Being Curious An Important Part Of Being Able To Heal?

If one had a TV that stopped working, there is a strong chance that they would want to know why. This comes down to the fact that if they were to simply ignore it, they wouldn't be able to watch anything.

Being curious about what is taking place is then going to have a positive effect on their life, and this is not something that will cause them to experience pain. If it did, it could be because they will have to end up paying money in order for it to be fixed, and this will cause them to experience discomfort.

Not As Bad

However, even if one did have to pay to get the TV fixed, it is unlikely to be as painful as it would be if they had to go without one. As a result of this, they are going to be willing to tolerate the pain that they would have to go through.

This is an approach that one will take in many other areas of their life, and it will stop them from having to suffer unnecessarily. If one was unable to respond in this way when something isn't right, it would cause them a lot of problems.

Pleasure and Pain

One way of looking at this would be to say that through having the ability to experience pain, it gives one the ability to take action. Therefore, through paying attention to this pain, it will then allow one to experience pleasure.

But even though that is the case, it could be said that it is the need to know what is wrong that will get the ball moving, so to speak. Without having this need, there would be no reason for one to do anything.

Not Separate

Still, if one didn't experience some kind of discomfort, there is the chance they wouldn't have the need to be curious. Thus, it might be better to say that these two things are not separate, and they rely on each other in order to function.

But with that aside, what this emphasises is how important it is for one to be curious when it comes to solving a problem. When this doesn't exist, it can mean that one will end up putting up with something that will cause them to suffer in one way or another.

Pain

What this will then mean is that the pain they are experiencing will be overlooked and one will try to carry on with their life. But while this might work in the short-term, it is unlikely to work in the long-term.

This is an approach that one can take when they have mental and emotional problems and/or when their relationships are not going as they would like them to go. One is then not facing their life head on; they are doing what they can to avoid it.

The Traditional Route

Now, this is not to say that one won't go and see their doctor about what is going on for them, as they could end up being put on some kind of medication. Yet even if one was to do this, it doesn't mean that it would allow them to heal themselves or to improve their relationships.

What this could result in is one being disconnected from how they feel, and this is not exactly going to make their life more fulfilling. Along with this, the side effects could end up causing them even more problems as time goes on.

Resistance

And while being curious about why their life is the way it is would give them the chance to move forward, it will also cause them to experience pain. It is then similar to one wanting to go into a dark room to find out what is in there, but the fear of what they may find stops them from having a look.

This powerful ability is then going to be out of action and one will continue to experience life in the same way. It is then not going to be someone else who is holding them back; they are going to be the ones who are sabotaging their life.

Problems

It can then be normal for them to put up with feeling depressed, down, fearful and/or anxious, for instance. Their relationships could be unfulfilling, or they could be abusive in some way.

The people around them could tell them to stay strong and be supportive of what they are going through, but this is not going to change their life. Alternatively, one could be surrounded by people who act as though they have it all together and they could try to rescue them.

Being Curious

If one was to get to the point where they have had enough of suffering, it could cause them to look for answers. They are then aware that this will cause them to experience even more pain, but this won't stop them.

Perhaps they realise that even though this pain might be stronger, it is unlikely to be something that will last forever. This is because the mental and emotional problems that one can have as an adult can be symptoms of something that took place in the past, as can their relational challenges.

A Process

If one was to look for answers, they could end up doing an internet search and/or reading a book, for instance. The first step has then been taken, and they could soon find what they are looking for.

This is not to say that this will be it, as they could soon have the desire to find out about something else. One could also look for something and find that they can't find the answer straight away, but this is part of life.

Awareness

At the end of the day, one's personal growth is important, and even if one can't find something or what they do doesn't work, it doesn't mean they should give up. The main thing is that one keeps going, and through being this way, there is the chance they will gradually find what they are looking for and heal themselves in the process.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Self-Development:-Is-Being-Curious-An-Important-Part-Of-Being-Able-To-Heal?&id=9441000

Getting Out of Your Own Way: The 3-Step Wardrobe Plan to Have Him Forget the Other Woman

Do you feel like your man isn't noticing you anymore? Do you walk by him in the living room and his eyes never stray from the video game, Walking Dead episode, or Lakers game? Are you worried that maybe some other woman is catching his eye? You need a plan to get out of your own way and back into his line of sight. In fact, you need a three-step wardrobe plan, and here is it. Just remember your ABCs.

A = Act like you did when you first started dating. When you first started dating, do you remember how much thought you gave to what you wore? Your hair was always done, and you always smelled amazing. You need to start doing the things that attracted him in the first place. You have to start wearing dresses and skirts again and spritzing on the perfume and body spray.

B = Be noticeable. Even though we are the most evolved animals on the planet, we are still animals. And animals are drawn to bright colors, shiny things, and movement. We can't help but notice these things. As for bright colors, see if he doesn't start paying attention if you walk past him in a bright yellow dress. In the animal kingdom, that is why certain species are colorful - to attract the opposite sex. Shiny things like metallic earrings and other jewelry will draw attention. And last is movement. The fabric of a dress or skirt moves when you walk, and dangling earrings sway. These are all things that will catch is eye.

C = Carry yourself with confidence. You are looking good, smelling good, and getting noticed. You need to now act like other people are noticing you as well. You need to get out more often and carry yourself with confidence as you sashay out the door so that he looks at you and asks, "Where are you going?" He's noticing you more, and he knows other people will be noticing you more. When he asks that question, you will know that you have him right where you want him, and he may even ask if he can come with you.

This simple three-step plan of the ABCs will have him all shook up and taking notice. You'll also like this new sense of power you feel over yourself and over your relationship. That other woman is no match for you, girl

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Mindfulness & Wellness

You're probably wondering what mindfulness and wellness, could possibly have to do with each other? And it is indeed a good question.

Somewhere in the early 70's, when the world was recovering from war and recession, there was some time to look around and be aware of the overall situation. Clinical psychologists noticed that people were far less attentive to their surroundings and almost oblivious to the things happening in their life with every passing second!

This may not seem like a problem when we talk on a second to second basis, but when we take into account an entire day or week or even months, it becomes a form of unconscious neglect. We start neglecting small things and soon we start neglecting important things. Mindfulness is a concept, appropriated from ancient Buddhist roots, and clinically innovated by Jon Kabat-Zinn. The idea of mindfulness involves being aware moment-to-moment, of one's subjective conscious experience from a first-person perspective. It involves having absolute focus on our actions and as someone wisely said, Actions have consequences!

With respect to wellness, mindfulness plays a very important role, considering that wellness depends on the fundamental principle, that one knows he is unwell.

So, with that simple idea in mind, let's begin.

Understanding Mindfulness

• Mindfulness is not as much about paying attention on the good things, as it is about not paying attention to the bad things. If there are ideas or thoughts that make you feel down and negative, it is important to keep in mind that you aren't supposed to be focused on them.

• Mindfulness connects areas of the brain that deals with the cognitive functions and attention. The process involves paying attention to the details and not missing out on important things.

• There is growing evidence that mindfulness can alter the brain and the resulting triggers "the relaxation response" that can turn sets of genes on or off.

• Making mindfulness part of your life can be life changing and your health and general wellbeing will greatly benefit from it.

If we look at it from a logical point of view, it makes absolute sense that mindfulness and wellness make complete sense.

Example:

You fall sick and go to the doctor. You're diagnosed with flu. Easy, get your dose of antibiotics and drink plenty of water. You'll be spick and span before you know it!

But take a quick rewind, to the week right before you fell sick and went to the doctor.

Remember that discomfort in your throat? The one you cleared by drinking water?

And then there was the time you sneezed. Not once, a few times every hour. That was ignored since you blamed it on the pollution.

If you follow the chain, you'll find another hundred small symptoms that led to the eventual disease. And that is when you realise you've been neglecting the signals.

Another example:

You failed your math test. You're absolutely sad and feel really bad about it. So you talk to your family and friends, spend a day or two crying it out. That is logical.

But then for some reason, you decide to keep talking about it. The most common among these habits, is the initial post mortem of the question paper! You'll do everything to spot that one error the teacher made.

If someone stops you, you justify it by saying, "I am learning from my mistakes!" Correction. That is not learning from your mistakes that is not being able to go past your mistakes.

Mindfulness, is about being aware of every single moment. Because each and every moment you are contributing to your wellness. Mindfulness focuses the human brain on what is being sensed every moment, instead of on its normal rumination on the past or on the future. Although science doesn't have all the answers yet about the relationship between mindfulness and wellness, it is thorough that the physical changes in the brain have a direct influence on improved health.

Impact of Mindfulness on Wellness

1. Avoid stress

When we are mindful of each and every moment, we are in control of our mind. This control allows us to avoid unnecessary stress and worry. We learn to take things as they come.

2. Better Productivity

Mindful people, on record show better productivity than people who keep focusing on their past or their future too much. Those who live in the present and enjoy it, win.

3. Better Health

Overall health gets the undivided attention it needs. As discussed in one of the examples, when we live life worrying about everything, we ignore or neglect the things here and now. Mindfulness ensures that we pay more attention to our health.

4. Increases Mental Acuity

Mindfulness is not simply about awareness, it also includes observation. So when you are mindful, you are also being acutely observant of all the things around you. This increases mental acuity.

5. Helps with Coping

When we are mindful, we cope better with things. We become aware of what affects us and in what way. This leads us to avoid negativity and heal faster.

Mindfulness has been used in psychotherapy as a tool to deal with mental stress, tensions, anxiety and a whole host of other problems.

The truth is, we are all running. Running towards something, running away from something! But we are running. This chase has led us to a stage where we don't take a moment to stop and think, "This moment is never going to come back!"

We prepare for a future that is not promised and we think of a past which we cannot change. Instead, why not simply choose to live the present and be mindful of every moment? Sounds like a much better deal to me.

Good news is, with the advancement in technology, many Apps and tools have been created to help with mindfulness. If you want to be helped with relaxing faster, increasing your productivity, getting rid of stress and anxiety, and much more, this FREE 10 best Apps guide will help you greatly.

Click Here to Download Your FREE Guide

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Meaning of Concentration

Concentration is the ability of an individual to direct his entire attention to a particular task or object, without being affected by the numerous external forces trying to divert his attention. There is a belief that concentration isn't as much about paying attention to one thing, as it is about choosing to ignore everything else. It is more about the ability to give your undivided attention to a particular thing.

Our mind processes an approximate of 60,000-80,000 thoughts per day. That's near about 69.44 thoughts a minute. So when we talk about concentrating, we're not talking some silly number! We're actually talking about a good 70 thoughts a minute. Our mind actually processes and then picks one out of those thoughts and we deem it important enough to pay attention to, while ignoring the other 68 or 69 thoughts!

Exhausting, in my opinion. But for the brain, it's all in a day's work!

Where does concentration begin?

• As far as the brain is concerned, concentration is thought to begin in the frontal lobe of the brain. This process begins from infancy and continues till the day we die.

• Unlike focus, which involves being aware of something in general, concentration is all about isolating a particular task or situation or object and paying attention only towards it.

• Concentration involves paying attention, recognising the object of attention and understanding the object of attention as well. You don't simply look or think. It is a combined process of various cognitive functions coming together and in a way, dissecting the task or object at hand.

Concentration can be developed and paid at different levels. So there is scope for growth in the level of concentration. It's like peeling away the layers, to reach the core of something. It takes a little bit more concentration to peel away each additional layer, till we finally get to the very crux.

Let us now understand why there is a need to concentrate on something and what all other benefits it yields. In the end we shall take a look at some methods to build better concentration.

Need to Concentrate

• To get things done. To complete tasks. 

• To stay on track with our work. 

• To be able to understand every aspect of our work. 

• To complete our work to the best of our abilities

When we concentrate, we put our entire mental prowess into understanding something, which in turn helps us analyse and solve problems in a better way. That is why when we try to solve mathematical problems, we need a little more concentration than usual. Our mind has to work that little bit harder to analyse and solve the problem at hand.

We all have the ability to concentrate some of the time. But at other times our thoughts are scattered, and our minds race from one thing to another. To deal with such times, we need to learn and practice concentration skills and strategies.

To concentrate, we have to learn a skill, and as with any skill this means practice repeated day after day until we achieve enough improvement to feel that we can concentrate when we need to. If you remember, I once spoke of the mind and the thoughts. Explaining the mind as a rock and the thoughts as flowing water. The more the thoughts hit the mind, the deeper the lines that fall. With concentration, we are doing something like that. We are constantly hitting the mind with a single thought or a single stream of thoughts, which ultimately have a lasting impact.

When we concentrate, the brain tends to get exhausted and very soon, it is too tired to stay on track any more. At such times, we realise the importance of expanding our horizons and concentrating more.

Let us now look at some techniques to concentrate better.

1. Pause and Notice

Every time you try to concentrate on something, you inevitably find your mind wandering to various related aspects. This is not really productive. At that juncture you need to pause and take note. What did you start with? Are you still on the same subject? If you have swayed even a little bit, then come back to the real thing.

2. Set aside some worry time

When we concentrate, one of the chief problems we face is worry. We tend to worry. The worry may be random. It may have absolutely no relation to the point. But that will not stop your mind from worrying.

So, rip the issue out from the root. Just simply set aside a fixed amount of time for worrying. So if you are working 12 hours, keep an hour in between to take a break and plainly worry. Worry your heart out! 

And then stop worrying.

3. Have a fixed position of seating

As weird as this sounds, concentration has a whole lot to do with physical movement too. You keep moving around; you won't be able to concentrate. You will feel tired or sometimes your mind will begin wandering.

So you need to stop wandering and sit down when you are doing something.

4. Find a silent place

When the work is important, the place where you work becomes even more important. Find a place with the least amount of distractions. Ensure you don't have too many people around you who can snatch your attention away.

Libraries, empty rooms, classrooms, corner offices (we all want one!), work best for this.

5. Take a break

You need a break from concentrating too. The mind tires out and what happens after that is not concentration. It's a waste of time and energy. Whatever happens, don't try to force your mind to keep concentrating. Give it some break. Sleep a little or even just divert your attention for a while.

Concentrating is more about a choice. If you've committed to do it, just do it. So, first commit and you will find it happening.

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