The First Step in Reading Body Language

Your baseline is how you communicate about non-stressful topics. It's what you might call "normal" movement and style of speaking.

When you've determined someone's baseline, you can start to read that person's body language, which is all about seeing and hearing the deviations from baseline.

Baseline and the factors contributing to it might change depending on the context. For example, your style of relaxed speech and behavior might be different at home and at work. As a corollary, the topics that trigger an emotional response in the two environments might be different. At work, if a direct report says, "No, I don't want to do that," you might feel a wave of stress coming on. But if your 12-year-old niece says, "No, I don't want to do that," it's just another day in adolescent land.

The skill of baselining focuses your attention on the components of a person's movements and characteristic of voice and speech.

Let's say you want to baseline your boss. Here's how you might do it.

The two of you are talking about a trade show coming up. You're doing mostly routine planning so there is no disagreement or anxiety in the conversation. You notice the following:

• When she's remembering how the booth looked last year, she looks up and to the left.

• When she's visualizing the booth for the next show, which should look very different, she looks up and to the right.

Even though reading eye movement to determine whether someone is remembering or imagining isn't foolproof, with a lot of people, it holds up time after time. That is, they look up to one side to recall something they know-it doesn't matter which side-and up and to the other side to construct a visual image. That left-right eye movement is part of her baseline.

Another thing you notice is that she doesn't usually use fillers such as "um" or "like." The only time you noticed her using a few fillers was when she happened to mention the budget for the new booth-maybe that was a source of stress for her.

Next, you see that she normally moves her hands and arms a lot. She seems to punctuate everything she says with raised arms or a pointed finger. What does it mean if you see her on the floor of trade show and she's talking without moving her hands or arms? That's a deviation from baseline and it means she's under stress!

When you're skilled at baselining, you notice big and little expressions. Baselining helps you recognize the details that matter.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-First-Step-in-Reading-Body-Language&id=9401012

The Importance of Having Fun

Business owners tend to be busy people. If your business is small, and even if you have a team (smart you!), you're probably still pretty darn busy.

There's always more to do. Another networking meeting to attend. Another prospective client to call. Another program to design. Another marketing campaign to launch. More reports to run. The constant administrative work to do.

Feel drained yet?

Yep. That's the problem. There is always more to do. You will not ever get to the end of your to-do list. Never.

So give up on that dream that if you just work hard enough, work a little longer, find things to motivate you, set the timer, put your head down and push forward that you'll get it all done.

That's the quickest way to burnout.

You need fun in your life!! More fun = a happier life = a happier business owner = a more successful business.

Really.

We're already into the several months of the year, and it's been a pretty busy year for me so far. I've upped my game in the networking and speaking world. I've implemented even more systems in my business that allow me to get more done. I'm bringing on more clients. I'm filling retreats and workshops. Heck, I even launched a new website and rebrand.

I looked back at when the last time was that I had pure, unadulterated fun. It took me a bit, and I finally came up with a date: New Year's Eve. Thankfully, that was just a few months ago. I was afraid my last fun day might have been many more months ago.

I took a hard look at my life and how I spend my off time, my non-working time. I came up with three categories:

• Activities that replenish your fuel. These are things you do to keep that fuel level steady or, in times of great need, to replenish the emergency tank. For me, this is puttering around the house (decluttering, fluffing a pillow, maybe even sweeping - weird, maybe, but a noncluttered environment is part of my sacred space), reading, going for walks, making yummy food. These are activities where you see a noticeable difference in your energy if you're not doing them.

• Hobbies and things you just love to do. These are the things you do that remind you that you're a real person, not just someone who runs a business 24/7. I love to color, create, draw, quilt, but I cannot do these things if my energy is depleted and I'm tired. If I don't do them for a long time, though, I do start to feel a shadow of myself.

• Pure, unadulterated fun! These activities have no agenda and hopefully no timeline. When I reviewed the times where I felt we just had fun, it was times like a New Year's Eve party we hosted, playing hooky in Washington, D.C. during the Cherry Blossom Festival, getting Subway sandwiches and hiking all day... it almost always involved getting out of the house (except for the New Year's Eve party) and away from our normal, daily environment.

Review your life and see where you can plot your nonwork and nonhousehold activities in the three areas of fun. Hopefully, you can plot fun things to do proportionally in all three areas.

Are we having fun yet?

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Importance-of-Having-Fun&id=9364908

Tips for Good Body Language

Body language is something that is conveyed through gestures instead of verbal communication. In today's busy world people find it easy to express their feeling through gestures than speaking. We use body languages in our day to day life while interacting with others for expressing our views. It enables one to read another person's emotions and feelings accurately and is also the best way to pass the confidential information.

Being a leader is essential in every part of our life. If you want to become a good leader first you need to develop leadership qualities. Some people will have inborn qualities of a good leader but many has the desire to become a good leader. Today's children are tomorrow's leaders so leadership qualities have to be developed from childhood. You might have seen children who take leadership in games that they play and in classroom activities. Parents and teachers should analyze them and support them in their path.

Now let's know who are good leaders and the things to develop leadership qualities:

Good Leaders:

One who commands alone cannot become a good leader. You might have heard a saying by John C Maxwell, "A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way." Leaders have to know the path that they have to go, move towards the same and guide the team to move forward. They will share their experiences and help their followers to avoid the mistakes and problems that they faced in their journey. Positive and inspiring leaders who empower and develop followers are termed as good leaders. Great leaders are courageous and they never give up.

Just by observing one's body language we can realize what he is thinking or wants to say. Body language includes all gestures like eye movement, facial expressions and other signals for conveying message. When we pass the information with gesture it will have more impact than the normal discussion. It plays vital role in communicating with people and help us to evaluate their expression on our speech.

Pleasant face, eye contact, confident attitude are considered as some positive signs. Each and every movement convey message, so we have to be very careful with our movements. We can judge people based on their body language. Aggressive people give aggressive gestures, stare, show over firmness whereas nervous people bite their nail, no confidence and avoid eye contact.

When the person is interested then they will be very active, listen, have eye contact and if the person is not interested then their activities will be like looking around the room, watch time, yawn and disturb others. Thus, one must know and develop knowledge on the above said aspects for getting good impression and in many ways it helps you to succeed in your personal and professional life.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Tips-for-Good-Body-Language&id=9371307

Do You Have a Low Tolerance for BS?

"If I'm fat just tell me I'm fat."

You tell it like it is and you expect others to do the same. Sure, you take feelings into consideration... sometimes!

You talk straight to your kids, including teenagers, you talk straight to your boss, your spouse, and your parents. You expect the same, right? You want straight talk from your mechanic, your accountant and your fitness trainer. "If I'm fat just tell me I'm fat" you tell your trainer.

If you can see yourself in any of these situations you, my friend, have a low tolerance to BS.

How to communicate BS free and without looking like a jerk?

It's easy to communicate BS free, you just have to care about the other person and what they are saying, feeling, and wanting. If you care about that employee, boss, family member and they know it, you can talk BS free and expect the same from them. If there are repercussions if they speak their mind, or you judge them for doing so, you'll get BS for the rest of the day, week, month, you know, forever. Simple as that.

Not that simple? OK, try using these strategies for better communication:

1. Pay attention

Notice I said pay attention, not just listen. I say this for a reason. You must listen intently, with your mind, your ears, your eyes and your body. Your body language will tell the other person that they are important, that you care, and that they have your full attention, all of it. Not half of your attention shared with a text or Facebook, or a call that you have to take, or the TV. I mean all of it. Put your phone to the side, or turn it off (yes I said it) and look the person in the eyes with your shoulders facing them.

2. Don't Interrupt

Next time you're part of a group conversation count how many times people jump in, add, or simply interrupt the speaker. They might do it directly to the person speaking or turn to another person and start a conversation. We all have the urge to talk, and to express ourselves, but don't do it! You can nod, say "aha", and give positive facial expressions, but don't interrupt. If the person goes off topic bring them back with "I really want to know what happened next". In extreme occasions you might say "Get to the point" or if you want to be subtle "Finish the story, I only have ten minutes".

3. Don't Judge

This is the big one. If you start judging you'll start getting BS simply because nobody will want to tell you straight up what they did, what they are thinking or what the situation is. Your employees will give you a thick story that sounds like "it wasn't my fault" all the way through. Your kids will say how it's the teachers fault they're getting the failing grade, you know the story. Unless you have a law degree and were appointed and nominated to the Supreme Court by the President, don't judge.

Remember, part of NO BS by definition is no judging. It's about getting to a goal, the goal might be to feel better, or to come up with a solution. Remember, not all problems have solutions, especially many of the emotional ones.

4. Ask Questions

Asking questions engages you in conversation. It opens up the other person to share what they really want to say. Sometimes you even have to tell them "I really want to know" but many times a "Tell me what happened" is sufficient. Practice asking questions and digging into life, business or other life issues. Yes, it takes practice. If you're a consultant or a salesperson you know what I'm talking about.

5. Now You Can Talk: Your Delivery

Now that people know you care, you listen and your intentions are good, you can be as direct as you want with no repercussions. If you're speaking with someone you don't know it will not work until they know who you are and what you're about. Practice it in your home first before taking it out in the real world. Let me know how it goes, no BS!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Have-a-Low-Tolerance-for-BS?&id=9428404

Stand OUT! Speaking Tip: Embrace Controversy to Stand OUT!

Sex.

Politics.

Religion.

Now that I have your attention...

An old speaking adage states that 'you should always avoid controversial subjects.

Which leaves me with one burning question...

Why?

If you are a leader, salesperson, or speaker, you will at times be placed in a position of taking a stand about a subject that not everyone agrees on.

If you don't provide a specific point of view, or avoid the issue altogether, how does this make you look?

The most successful people accept this challenge and share their opinions.

Which still leaves the question "why do most people avoid the tough topics?"

I believe it's born from the need of most people to be liked. As a rule, we don't like it when someone is mad at us or disagrees strongly with our point of view.

This need to be liked creates a problem for leaders, salespeople and speakers.

If you're not willing to let others know your thoughts about a difficult subject, you will be either ineffective or quickly forgotten.

How do you feel when you listen to someone talk on a subject that is somewhat 'safe' or even mundane?

You might agree with that person, but do you remember the message, or are you challenged to think?

Probably not.

If you are given the privilege to stand in front of a group and talk, and your inclination is to say what everyone else is saying, take my advice... don't.

The purpose of a presentation should be to change the way an audience thinks, feels or acts. If you are parroting what's been said ad nauseum, what's the point?

Think about the speakers who've impacted you the most. Did they talk about a subject that could upset people, or cause some in the audience to not like them? Most likely, yes.

Were they remembered long after the talk? Did they challenge you to think? Most likely, yes! And that's good.

One critical point to consider when you choose to discuss a controversial topic - do it with respect and in good taste.

The three topics highlighted in the title of this article have been discussed - many times - often with poor results because speakers have either been preachy or even insulting with their comments.

Five keys to discussing touchy subjects:

• State [and re-state] "this is my opinion" and avoid absolute statements of fact
• Acknowledge that this is a controversial topic and that others may disagree
• Ask them to suspend their beliefs long enough to hear your perspective
• Focus on points that support your belief
• Keep Q&A periods short, but offer to be available after to talk further

One other point to consider before tackling a difficult topic - don't do controversy for controversy's sake. There are some people who like to argue just for the sake of arguing. This doesn't respect the audience or their time.

Controversial subjects can be intimidating. They can also present an opportunity to voice your thoughts in a confident and respectful manner. Simply taking the chance to do this can help you stand out from the crowd.

Go ahead - take a stand! You just might end up owning the stage.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Stand-OUT!-Speaking-Tip:-Embrace-Controversy-to-Stand-OUT!&id=9015647

10 Body Language Tips Every Speaker Must Know

We all know that when we give a presentation or speak in front of a group, not only are our words important, but the body language that accompanies them.

Your words may give the audience one message while your body sends quite another.

As if getting the words out wasn't hard enough, right?

An infographic from SOAP Presentations lists 10 body language tips to employ during your next presentation. These tips range from how to get the audience to like you, to how to make sure the audience remembers your key points.

For example:

1. To get the audience to like you, make eye contact. People tend to pay more attention to and like those who look them in the eye.

2. To boost your confidence, open your chest and arms, and keep your back straight.

3. To demonstrate authority, be calm and use small, stiff gestures.

4. To draw the audience's attention to something, point directly at it and look at it yourself. The audience will follow your lead.

5. To convince the audience of something, use positive gestures — smiling, nodding, open movements, etc. — throughout the presentation.

 http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/239405