The Stockdale Paradox - Coping With Hard Times

What Is The Stockdale Paradox?

The Stockdale Paradox is named after the late James Stockdale, former vice presidential candidate, naval commander and prisoner of war during the American-Vietnam war.

It became well known having been featured in author and business guru Jim Collins' book "Good To Great" following extensive interviews between Collins and Stockdale exploring how Stockdale survived 8 years of imprisonment and torture.

Collins' specific focus was to identify the principles that underpinned Stockdale's survival and emergence at the end of the war as not only unbroken but as source of practical inspiration.

Balancing realism and optimism in a dire situation is a key to survival and success

What the Stockdale Paradox means is that in times of prolonged and seemingly never-ending hardship, set-backs, suffering and distress we need to maintain optimism that we will survive and pull through, and yet, at the same time, balance that with a total realism and practicality about the harsh present realities.

In Stockdale's own words:

"You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end - which you can never afford to lose - with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."

Paraphrased to its core:

Hope for the best, but acknowledge and prepare for the worst

Such paradoxical thinking is one of the defining philosophies of many who have made it through severe hardship and eventually reached their goals.

BUT, this paradox contradicts the law of attraction and so much of the output of the self-help industry.

Suffering IS an integral part of the human condition. It is as though there is an inbuilt design flaw that ensures that we all suffer at some point, one way or another.

Right now at time of writing we are all suffering in some way as we come to terms with the aftermath of the Covid pandemic.

Coping With The Attrition Factor

Many, maybe most, of us are capable of coping with challenges and difficulties in the short to medium term.

But in my experience once a challenging situation drags on beyond the one year mark we start to flag, and after two years - with no end in sight - it gets really tough.

This is what I call the attrition factor.

It is this point that we need to develop the Stockdale Paradox and take it to the next level.

This means that in addition to maintaining a hope for the future and a pragmatic realism about the present you need to do 3 further things:

(1) Find a way of dealing with the emotional side of your pragmatic realism.

There are times when there is nothing more we can do to alleviate the situation. In these circumstances we have two powerful options: we can resist it or we can accept it.

# The biggest key to all this is to behave and respond in ways that may be completely alien to us by allowing and cultivating a very deep acceptance of what is happening and acknowledging that we are not in control of circumstances and - counter cultural and counter intuitive as this sounds - to go with the flow.

# The more we can surrender to the flow then the more we automatically become aligned to a far greater dimension of our consciousness than we may have ever previously experienced - this really is the key

# It is this alignment with the flow that is the dynamic that will pull us through this difficult situation and it is this alignment that is the source of our self-motivation through and beyond present difficult circumstances

# Whether we realise it or not, whether we accept it or not, there is always a spiritual dynamic at work in these situations

(2) Recognise and understand that you are not your thoughts

Our thoughts can drive us crazy, especially in these difficult situations that drag on, and on...

We don't have complete control over our instinctive emotions, they're largely involuntary and that's part of being human. What we do have, though, is control over how we choose to respond to those feelings.

The key to this lies in understanding that:

What matters is not the content of your thoughts but your relationship with your thoughts.

(3) Transform your "dead time" into "alive time"

In "Alive Time vs Dead Time" - I asked the question:

"When you can't work because you have no work, when you feel stuck and can see no way out of this situation, when you don't even know if there is an end of the tunnel, what do you do with your time?"

In difficult times like these, we can choose to just doss around and feel impatient, resentful, or angry.

Or we can we can exercise control over our use of this time figure a way to solve a problem, reach a goal, or help someone else with these things.

Dead time can be revived and transformed and used to our and others long term benefit. We can use this time to emerge from this overall situation a better and more resourceful person.

"I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade." (Admiral James Stockton)

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Stockdale-Paradox---Coping-With-Hard-Times&id=10390142

Solitude - Feared or Embraced

"Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god." - Aristotle.

I have found that nothing turns a person cold more than the fear of being alone. I also venture to say that it's not so much the loneliness that we are afraid of, although it is there, but it's the fear of confronting who we really are, what we really are.

In this modern world, with all its demands, we are always complaining that we never have time to do the things that we want, time to relax, time to spend with the family. However, I am hard pressed to find anyone who wants time to get to know themselves, to confront their true natures and to become masters of themselves. The quiet scares us, the deafening silence that accompanies solitude seems to overwhelm us to the point that we are scared to touch it with a 20 foot pole. Therefore, even when we are alone we are plugged into iPods that have the latest top 40 hits or the latest self-help mp3. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way advocating against these things. They have their place but sometimes we need to switch off the external so that we can listen to the internal.

I honestly believe that for a person to become who they are truly meant to be, finding time to be alone, in the quietness and bliss; and the loudness and gut wrenching fear of solitude is up there among the most important things they will ever do on the road to being themselves.

In relationships it is often said that to get to know your partner you need to spend quality time with him or her, together, you must get to know who they are, what they like, what makes them tick, how they react to certain things. Making time to spend with your significant other is what makes or breaks a relationship most times. The sad thing is that people who don't truly know themselves, who have never spent quality time alone are trying to know someone else.

Suddenly we find ourselves in jobs we hate, relationships that we don't want, a life that is draining and we realise that we are not who we thought we were, we realise that we are the sum of the parts that everybody else thinks we are, all because we never truly knew ourselves; never took the time to find out how we want to do life.

The greatest thinkers, businessmen, entrepreneurs, artists etc. in history always made time to be alone, to confront themselves and to master themselves. The adage in carpentry "Measure twice and cut once," is what most of these people who changed the world did. They thought things through, found out who and what they are, what they wanted, how they wanted to do it and proceeded down a path to claim a place in history.

So, I urge you to take some time to be alone, at least a few minutes a day. Take that drive that has no destination, sit on the beach, walk that nature trail or just sit in your office, alone, just to be with yourself, shut out the external so that the internal can be heard. You will be surprised at the results. You will be shocked and awed at the same time. You will find creativity, solutions, ideas, heartache, bliss, war and peace.

Above all you will find yourself.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Solitude---Feared-or-Embraced&id=9902168

Possible Sources of Daily Inspiration (By Rosina S Khan)

After I quit my day job, it became even more of a daily challenge to keep me inspired while I worked online from the comfort of my home. Now won't you be interested in knowing the sources of my daily inspiration? Read on to find out.

Here are those criteria:

1. Go through Wisdom Quotes:

I got wisdom quotes from free self-help books and also online. I made a collection. I read through them whenever I had leisure.

2. Write Fictions

I wrote free fiction stories and submitted to a free eBooks' site. Looking at the number of downloads I see every day, I feel good feeling positive. I also feel happy that I must have made someone's day.

3. Write Self-help Books:

I wrote free self-help books and contributed to self-help giveaway events, collecting leads in the process that is, subscribers of other contributors noticed my book, downloaded it and became a member of my email list.

4. Send Newsletters

I send newsletters to my subscribers once every week, giving them access to free articles and free books and keeping them engrossed with my free stuff which they enjoy I believe.

5. Review Manuscripts as an External Reviewer

For a certain renowned journal's organization I review manuscripts based on my field of expertise in Computer Science and Engineering. When at the end of my work, I get a review certificate, it boosts my spirits.

6. Write Articles

I write articles for free on various platforms and have earned quite a reputation in this arena. My topics diverse from Technology, Self-Improvement, Women's Interests, Entertainment->Humor and other categories.

7. Maintain a website

Yes, I maintain a website of all the stuff I do for fun and that keep me motivated. I have integrated articles of a certain platform, short stories, self-help books, review certificates for my role as an external reviewer of manuscripts in a reputable journal, links to my blogs and the lot. I have also put in free educational movies to make the site more interesting.

8. Maintain Blogs

I also maintain blogs on various interesting topics. Whoever stumbles on them finds in them great reads. My subscribers and followers truly appreciate what I write and I feel energized full of vigor to do my daily tasks.

9. Maintain a Facebook Page

In my Facebook page, I have put in links to my fictions, self-help books and academic guides along with the big images of e-covers. I have also put in articles on another platform along with relevant images. Readers, followers and subscribers simply love all this content and I feel joyous for them. I have also put in videos summarizing separately my collections of fictions and self-help books that I authored. I have also inserted quotes by famous personalities. And there's still more I want to add to this page and make it evergreen and shimmering.

Summing up, as I use my laptop to carry out inspirational works, I not only help my community but beyond. This is, though, a transition period for me because I have other dreams to followup and I haven't lost sight of them. I am getting closer to them every day while I keep inspiring others and in the process, inspire myself wholly and fruitfully. You too can find similar sources of inspiration in order to motivate yourself and others daily. Gotcha?

https://ezinearticles.com/?Possible-Sources-of-Daily-Inspiration&id=10141164

The Big Joke

All right self-help and self-improvement lovers, here is the joke and punch line in one sentence: We are the cause of our own problems and our own solutions. Now, I am going to take the rest of this article to explain the joke, punch line and position.

Our effects all come from a cause, right? Yes. That cause is within us however we may try to look at it. When we look at effects as stand alone causes without causes, nothing can be solved. When we look at effects, from the standpoint of "we caused them ourselves", something can always genuinely be done to improve the situation.

Today, and every day, I realize that my attitude genuinely makes my reality work or not work. What I mean by this is: Whatever happens with me or to me, my attitude is the currency that gets me through it or holds me back. Sure, we can all "make money" if we really want to through normal efforts. But the 'amazing effort' comes with changing our thoughts and causes genuinely for the better even when all evidence says otherwise. Think about it, anyone can get angry and retaliate, but it takes a strong soul to genuinely think it out and do what is genuinely right at the right time instead of blaming effects. Indeed, the cause is where it is at.

Sometimes, I just want to let out a scream when something goes really wrong or at least complain a bit. Mostly, I just look at the cause and say to myself after the musings or whatever: "This is a slip, not a fall, start over with a little more experience." Now, I am not perfect or ideal by any means, but for the most part, I would rather approach things with this attitude rather than blame effects.

Sometimes, in the spirit of complaint, I talk "angrily" to my Mother about the effects around me "just for the fun of it" without meaning a word of it (and she knows it, and "she in a sounding board way lets me blow off the steam"), but inside I realize the causes and concentrate on them and let the emotions go through me without meaning any genuine thing or affecting me. In reality, I concentrate on the cause and let the "chips of effect" fall where they may. If the effect is bad, I start over, if the effect is good, I continue on with my path. My point is, failure and bad effects are a bad joke, only good effects and realities count. If you are reading this with honest, sincere seriousness, you are ready. If you file it under "The musings of a silly man about real life", you are not ready. Either way, you chose a path. Either way, you get it. One path is longer, and one path is shorter. One path is harder and less successful, one path is easier and more successful. Either way:

"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it."

"If you think you cannot do a thing, or if you think you can, you are right."

Both of the quotes here are generally attributed to automobile industrialist Henry Ford.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Big-Joke&id=9789435

3 Self Help Principles to Effectively Handle Anyone

Have you ever found yourself in a situation or predicament where you just can't seem to get along with another person, or merely communicate in such a way for any sole reason at all? Whether it being achieving a certain desire or providing potentially beneficial advice that the selected other can't seem to understand. Feeling like you have tried everything? Fear not-The purpose of this post has you an old, yet very simple but seemingly forgotten self-help principles to aid your irrefutable frustration regarding such a common issue.

There are times in life where we find ourselves bewildered at our abilities to deal with other people, sometimes you're unsure whether it's you, them or the weather (for many reasons) nor come to terms with the complexity of exactly what is making such a task seem impossible.

Listed below are 3, easily digestible principles to keep in mind for effectively handling anyone; that when learnt and practised, will seem effortless. Enjoy.

Self-Help Principle 1: Never critique, complain or castigate.

Let's begin with a short parable. A man with an infamous reputation is often a feared criminal, in this sense, he is considered evil by his wrongdoing and acts of injustice. It is this injustice that society and its conventional values view this person contrary to the norm.

On a particular night in London, dozens of police officers were heard scrambling in and around Oxford Circus tube station as gunshots lit up the night. Screams and despair spread as the night grew older, rumour has it that one of London's most wanted was spotted inside and once noticed, took siege of human lives as form of leverage. Thousands of people listened and waited close behind the human blockade of officers, nothing like it had ever been seen before on the tracks of London. When this man was captured, Captain S. Montgomery stated that the man was unknowingly to the public, an enemy of the state previously turned rogue for reasons undisclosed, "He will disregard all consequences of behaviour," said the Captain, "and will kill in the blink of an eye."

The question we must ruminate is, how did this mysterious man regard himself? We know, because it is only until after finding in the residence of this man evidence that may be mutually exclusive with these intentions. a letter labelled, "To my younger self." And, as it read: "Beneath this vessel was a heart of gold, one that too many, times left cold."

Not too long before this, this man was going about his morning to surprise his girlfriend out-of-town near West Sussex. After he had arrived and noticed another male in the bed. Without saying a word, he leaped through the window and drew his gun, the gun shot and the air shattered. The bullet tore through space and silence fell upon him in its wake. He spoke but his words were lost in the quiet. That was the killer who said "Beneath this vessel was a heart of gold, one that too many, times left cold." The man was sentenced to death. When he was upon his last few hours, do you think he said, "This is what I get for killing people?" No, he said "This is what I get for doing what any man would do."

The point of this story is exactly this: This man did not blame himself for anything. Would you say that is an unusual thought process for criminals? I think not, now ponder this for a minute and ask yourself, if these men and women behind bars do not blame themselves for acts of such sin, what about the people who you and I have come in contact with? People do not criticise themselves, not for anything, no matter the severity or margin that they may be so very wrong by.

B.F Skinner, a world-famous psychologist had proved with his experiments that animals respond and learn much more efficiently when being rewarded with good behaviour and retain that information rather than castigated for poor behaviour. Further studies also proved that the same theory indeed applies to humans. In self-help we must be self-aware and acknowledge that the person we feel the need to correct or critique will probably justify himself/herself for what ever the reason may be. Perhaps even critique us in return?

Do you know of someone who you aspire to change or improve? perhaps a partner, friend, colleague etc. Why not begin with the man in the mirror? This is much, much more profitable and long-term efficient, and is also the pinnacle of self-help improvisation. Remember that before trying to handle others, that you are dealing with creatures of emotion, master this and things will fall in just the right places.

Self-Help Principle 2: Show a little appreciation.

There are roughly eight wants in life that we truly desire, I will label these; the eight things we desire most. We will be elaborating on solely one of these wants in this principle. The principle analysed and laid out is "The desire of importance." If you're interested in the other seven then you can head here.

Majority of these wants are more or less satisfied throughout our journeys, although there is one longing, deep, heart-wrenching desire that is satisfied rarely. I think you guessed it, the desire of importance. Who doesn't like a compliment? One of the most, if not the most sought after craving in life is the gratification of appreciation, hence the word "craving" not desire, but for appreciation and not importance. The person that can acknowledge this is all well, good and possibly on their way. However, to grasp this information and strictly apply it whenever you get the chance, this person will hold people in the palms of their hands.

The desire of importance has been around for centuries, this desire even stems off the infamous quote I'm sure you've heard "We buy things we don't like, to impress people we don't even know, with money we don't even have." It is why the rich build the biggest houses that you and I both know they can't make use of, it is why you feel the need to wear the latest fashion styles, it is why you want to drive the coolest car, this desire even impacts the way you talk about your brilliant partner or children. Some even fall victim into partaking in criminal activities, joining a gang or going as far as your imagination serves you, why? The answer is merely ego, the craving for appreciation, the desire of importance.

An easy way to begin: Bring to the table genuine enthusiasm among your people, appreciation and encouragement to others for small things, lead to a large impact. Positive reinforcement is actually critically important at times but be careful not to flatter. Flattery and appreciation are two very different things, the difference is 'sincerity'. One comes from the 'heart' and the other from the mouth. One is sincere and the other has an ulterior motive.

Again - the difference is 'sincerity'.

One comes from the 'heart' and the other from the mouth. One is sincere and the other has an ulterior motive.

What do average people do? The exact opposite.

If one does not approve or fancy something, they will scold their minions, partners and so on and so forth; if they happen to fancy or approve of it, most of the time they say nothing. Let us stop thinking of ourselves, our accomplishments and our desires. Let's attempt to analyse the person we wish to interact with and try to acknowledge their traits, disregard the flattery and acquire some genuine, real appreciation. Do this often and the people on the receiving end will hold your words tight, for longer than you can remember their faces.

Self-Help Principle 3: Give the person an incentive.

Let us begin with a bite size parable by D. Carnegie. A man is in charge of how he spends his time, this man enjoys fishing as his selected hobby and often spent the summertime in Maine. "I Personally am fond of strawberries and cream," said D. Carnegie, "but I have began to notice, fish prefer worms." This brilliant man did not think about what he wanted whilst fishing, he thought about what the fish wanted. So why not use this perfect little allegory and apply it when fishing for people?

Why be futile and converse about our wants? We are interested in what we want and others are interested in what they want, you may seldom stumble upon the occasion where others are also interested in your wants as you share a common goal or desire. But the rest of us are like you, only invested in what we want. Do you see where this is heading? The only way to strike influence and be able to handle somebody in these occasions is to converse about their wants,their desires, and you know what else? You have to show them how to get it.

Visualise yourself in a future situation where you are, the one attempting to get somebody to do something or change something. For example; You want your child to stay in and refrain from going out as they have an exam to attend the next morning, don't stand there and lecture them talking about what you want, we all know the answer and reasoning behind your want; but instead show them how heading out may impact the outcome of their grade scores and achieving that future opportunity.

Another parable to provide insight is; Mr Ralph Emerson and his son were trying to get their calf into the barn, however they inevitably made the common mistake and were only thinking about what they wanted. Can you guess what the calf was thinking about? If you've caught on you would assume (and you're correct) the calf is thinking only of what he wants, so the calf had centred his weight and refused to move. A bystander, the housemaid had been observing the entire situation, unbeknown to Ralph and his son, she had a broad perception of her surroundings, she thought of what the calf wanted; so she placed her maternal finger inside the calf's mouth and let the calf suck on her finger as she patiently guided him into the barn.

Tomorrow you may find yourself in a situation where you want to persuade somebody to do something. Before any form of communication, stop and ask yourself the question: "How can I make this person want to do this?" This question will not only stop absolute inefficiency and possibly embarrassing conversations ending with futile chatter of your desires, but give the person an incentive to do something. He who is capable of doing this, has the universe with him.

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Credit For the Struggle (By Laura M Schroeder)

I enjoy listening to and reading books from many varied speakers and authors both on religious and secular topics. I can glean concepts of interest and still not agree with every statement.

In my own life, I have grown through struggles and have seen results now from events years ago. I have stayed positive and yet accept life's challenges without expectation of favor or exemption from them.

I do not subscribe to prosperity gospel teaching. Hard work, education, wise choices and faith will bear their own fruits. God does not just favor us in America because we think positive. Santa does not just come to us. There are real hardships world-wide.

I made mistakes in my twenties and learned from them. I had to work hard to overcome them. Life is a process. That process is different from person to person. Some see success at an early age, some over the course of many years and some never seem to get things right.

I do enjoy uplifting messages but have a hard time believing the phrase, "This is Your Year", over and over thinking, "That's what you said last year and the year before that, etc.".

What I enjoy more is a parody series of sketches I saw on life coaching. They were hilarious. At first, I thought they were real until I realized they were just for fun. Laughter works for me.

You don't have to knock yourself out being something you're not. So you got knocked down. There are no pat answers. Sometimes, life isn't fair. Sometimes, we do need a little help. Don't be afraid to ask for and accept it.

You know yourself better than anyone else. Trust your instincts. Give yourself credit for the struggle and give credit to others as well. We're all doing the best we can. Avoid truly toxic situations but don't dismiss others just because they annoy you.

Positive thinking and self-help are good but don't neglect hard work and compassion. Invest in lives, not just in pocketbooks. You can still help another, even while you are still struggling yourself.

Prayer is probably your best defense. Humans will let each other down, even when we mean well. God may be hard to understand at times but he is still listening. It's also alright to have a good cry, scream in a pillow or talk about your feelings. You don't have to ignore them.

One thing we can always count on is tomorrow.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Credit-For-the-Struggle&id=9289626

7 Ways To Make Affirmations Work For You

Nearly every individual who has ever trained others in personal development and self-help, has emphasized using affirmations to enhance one's positive attitude. Perhaps the best way for us to think about an affirmation is merely by looking at the word affirm in the route of that word, and to understand that unless one uses positive, present tense terminology and statements, he is not truly affirming anything that will have any sort of significant impact. In my over three decades of involvement in leadership training and personal development/ self-worth, I have consistently stressed that affirmations are an extremely important, proactive behavior, that often makes a significant difference in one's mindset and attitude, it only gets the most desirable result when these statements are personal, present tense, and stated in a positive manner. If you want to make them work to your optimal benefit, here are 7 Ways to Make Affirmations Work For You.

1. Make your affirmations personally meaningful. Don't merely state things that you believe to be either politically correct, what others do (or you believe expect of you), overly general, or of less than directly relevant to what most matter to you. They will have little impact if they are not statements related to what concerns you, you care about, or will have the desirable impact of motivating you to persist and persevere towards the goals you seek.

2. Always use positive statements. For example, those that look to lose weight, should avoid saying things like, "I'm going to go on a diet," or "I will lose weight," or even worse, "I will look better than I do now." Rather, state it in a more positive way, such as, "My sleek, fit body, makes me feel better, and perform to the best of my abilities."

3. Make your list of affirmations no less than five items, nor more than ten. Each must be personally essential and relevant, and you must really care about these things deeply. Think about what matters most to you, and how you can become the best you can be, and then base your affirmations on those needs or desires.

4. Write them down. The mere act of putting things to paper is a significant, impactful first step in enhancing your positive attitude and behaviors. In addition, doing this, makes it far more important and relevant.

5. Read your personal affirmation list aloud (in private), to yourself, preferably in front of a mirror (so you can look yourself in the eye and truly come to believe your words). Some believe they can't accept stating things in a positive way, and in the present, when that is not yet the case, but it is important to realize that only when your mind comes to believe and accept that you are that way, will the end result occur! You must do this, every day, at least three times per day.

6. Commit to do this every single day, and make it an imperative component of your daily routine.

7. Re-visit your list every 30 days, evaluate your progress, and tweak your Affirmations, to address your evolving needs. Once you begin with using these, it is essential that you continue the process, continuously and seriously, for at least twelve months.

Don't treat this process as a mere exercise or some sort of philosophy. Rather, use these 7 Ways to Make Affirmations Work For You!

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Winning Friends And Influencing People (By Emette Massey)

If you've been following me, you know that I tend to write about sales, marketing, and business development topics.

So, I thought that it would be nice to start your day with something positive instead.

I recall one of favorite copywriting mentors, Gary Halbert had a great (and very healthy) way to start your day.

Best of all, Gary's morning routine did not involve a bunch of complicated workouts, routines or the typical crap you get from health gurus.

Here's how it goes...

And I quote...

1. "Set your alarm clock to go off 10 minutes earlier than usual.
2. The first thing, after you get up, is to immediately remake your bed.
3. Go to the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of water and drink it all.
4. Go to the bathroom, take care of "business," brush your teeth, wash the sleep out of your face and eyes and comb your hair.
5. Next, put on some exercise clothes like sweatpants, a sweatshirt and take a 20-minute walk.
6. As soon as you get back, woof down a nutritionally-dense protein drink made by mixing the content of a packet of Myoplex, Met-RX or Lean Body with eight ounces of fat-free milk and a banana.
7. Scarf down a packet of vitamins and minerals like Dr. Julian Whitaker's "FORWARD PLUS."
8. Take a shower.
9. Dress in fresh, crisp clothes and go about your day."

So, there you go. A nearly complete system for success. And you won't find a simpler or more effective way to go about your day.

And while this seems overly simple, there's some "deep" stuff connecting and "writing" positive instructions to your mind and body that benefits you in all areas of your life - physical, mental and spiritual.

Now you may be wondering what does this have to do with winning friends and influencing people, right?

Victor Schwab wrote the print ad for Dale Carnegie's book How To Win Friend and Influence People. Though the ad was written over 72 years ago, even the most skillful write would be hard-pressed to top it.

This book directly ties in to Halbert and self-help. Hands down Carnegie's book is one of the best self-improvement books found anywhere!

If you have not read How To Win Friend and Influence People, then you should get your hands on this book immediately and read it cover to cover... at least once a year.

In fact, it should be an essential part of your personal and business library.

And if you'd like to step your game up a notch or two consider...

... the complete course called

... wait for it

... The Dale Carnegie Course.

It is based around his famous book, "How To Win Friends and Influence People."

As I reflect on my days as a Realtor, my buddy pushed me into the course. Not only did the thoughts of standing in front of group of total strangers and having to give talks scare the bejeebers out of me, the thought of shelling out $750 (which I didn't have at the time) certainly rattled my cage.

But I sucked it up, paid the money and stuck out the course to the end. In fact, I won an award for one of my speeches.

Let me just say, to date this has been one of the best $750 buck investments I've ever made. Bar none!

Here's the take away. Self-Improvement takes courage and constant practice. Remember fear is just a temporary state of mind. I learned that F.E.A.R. is simply False Evidence Appearing Real.

So true and I've proved it time and time again. Now, don't get me wrong, I still get the jitters when talking to groups (even small ones) but I get through it just fine. And feel proud and confident about myself when done.

Here's Your Marching Orders:

Decide to take better care of yourself. Consider adopting Gary Halbert's daily AM routine and start the day of right.

Get and read a copy of Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People. This is self-improvement for your life and business.

Be willing to set your ego aside and learn to conquer your F.E.A.R. It's takes developing the right mindset and a little practice but it is doable.

Until next time, I bid you success, wealth and happiness.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Winning-Friends-And-Influencing-People&id=9862537

Steps to Take When You Feel You Lost Your Passion

              

Have you ever felt bored with what you do for a living? Do you think you have lost your passion? What do you do? Read on to find out.

Here are a few steps you can take:

1) Take two days' break and find out if you miss doing what you do every day for a living. If yes, you are good to go. If no, you need to take some steps, as required.

2) Talk to a colleague or mentor about how you currently feel with what you are doing every day to earn a living.

3) If step 2 doesn't work, do some research on yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Why have I lost my passion?
• Is somebody else earning more doing the same kind of work as I do? Does that make me feel inferior or even jealous?
• How can I ignite my passion for earning my living again?
• Do I crave for a career change? Will that make me feel comfortable? If yes, what kind of career?

4) Measure out the pros and cons of every choice you consider. When the pros look better, go for it.

5) Read lots of books in your niche every month in accordance with your career, whether or not you have made a change in it. You need to be equipped with the right kind of knowledge and apply it daily.

6) Read lots of self-help books as well to heighten your level of confidence and eventually your passion and success.

7) Make friends with like-minded people and continue to network. That way you will stay on track.

8) Share your problems with family and best friends. Their advice may have a dime once in a while.

Re-read the steps I have outlined in this article. You are sure to rekindle your passion in your daily occupation. Following the steps you will know if you need to make a career change. Sometimes for the sake of an elevated passion, you need to step out of your comfort zone, make that career change, take risks and eventually thrive.

It's your viewpoint after all- how you perceive it all. Only you can make yourself happy. So look within and not outside of yourself in order to find out what it is you would like to contribute to your world for a living. That way you can surely ignite your passion and cease to feel lost and hopeless.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Steps-to-Take-When-You-Feel-You-Lost-Your-Passion&id=9538897

Six Morning Rituals That Help to Kick Off a Good Start Into Every Day

Have you ever thought of some wonderful morning rituals to help you to give a good start into every single day? If your day starts off fine, chances are it will end off super good as well. Well, you are the driver of your days and nothing is as good as performing a few morning rituals to make a great start into your days. So what are some of these rituals? Read on to find out.

The rituals I am about to mention take less than an hour. So I recommend them daily for your greatest advantage. Here goes:

1) A Small Prayer

Start off your day saying a small prayer. Include in it what your desired elements are for the day that you would like to come to fruition. Include praying for your family and yourself and also two extra great persons in your life whom you love. That way you are bound to feel good and have a good morning start.

2) A Meditation Exercise

The meditation exercise does not have to be extensive. Just breathe in and out 20 times or as much as possible initially and then extend it to 20 times or more.

3) Left Hand Writing Ritual

With your left hand, date in a notebook and start writing with your left hand the following statement:

I am getting ahead in life step by step one day at a time.

Now this is a powerful exercise as well. Because you cannot write quickly and steadily with your left hand, you will always be aware of what you are writing and it will fixate in your mind, making your statement a reality.

4) 15 seconds of positive thoughts

Try to come up with powerful positive thoughts and dwell upon them for 15 seconds. Here are a few to help you:

a) Every day in every way I am getting better, better and better.

b) My life is a great adventure.

c) I love the way just as I am.

d) I have an abundance of energy and I am of great vibes to others.

e) Wealth and prosperity flow easily towards me.

f) I go higher and stronger with life's challenges.

5) A Gratitude Journal

Keep a gratitude journal by your bedside and every morning write five things you are grateful for in your life. Now why is that a powerful exercise? It allows you to count the blessings in your life. The more you find them, the more they flow into your life.

6) A Short Positive Content Self-Help eBook

Instead of reading news in the morning, read a short positive content self-help eBook and fill your soul and mind with energy and vigor. I promise it will do you a lot of good instead of reading news which contains a whole lot of negative content all the time.

All the six rituals are terrific and make a great start into your day. The positivity will exude from you and others you come in touch with will catch your vibes and feel positive too. So make it a point to carry out all the six rituals under an hour every morning. That way not only you become happy but wealthy as well full of rich thoughts plus you are off to great start into your mornings as each single day passes by.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Six-Morning-Rituals-That-Help-to-Kick-Off-a-Good-Start-Into-Every-Day&id=9671214

How to Create Perfection Out of Your Imperfections (By Rosina S Khan)

I remember when my Dad wanted us to change schools that would prepare us well for O-levels under the University of London. So what were the imperfections I had to perfect? How would this article help anybody to do that? Read on to find out.

I was in grade 9 and wanted to be admitted into that very grade in a good standard English medium school.

Dad figured out locating a good English medium school. We had to give admission tests before we got admitted. When that day arrived, my sisters and I were stuck in a big traffic jam so that Dad couldn't proceed on the way in our car.

We were already twenty minutes late when we arrived at the desired location.

Now this school really emphasized on English. After we were given the question papers, my sister who was trying to get into grade 8 chose an essay on "Your Favorite Book" while I chose the topic, "Books and Reading".

The big blow came in at the end of the test while we were waiting for the results. My sister and I were both given chits of paper that read grade 8. I was a bit confused. But I soon realized that I didn't make it into grade 9.

According to the teachers there, my essay did not have flow and coherence as my sister's did.

I got so bogged down that I cried all the way back and for the rest of the day into the night. I wept into the night falling asleep.

Seeing my condition, my father decided to admit us to another school where we wouldn't require admission tests and I promptly got into grade 9.

I struggled with the English course all along. Sometimes the essays I wrote were good and sometimes not so good. This way I ended up with a "C" in the English course in my O-levels. On the other hand, my sister got a prompt "A" when she appeared in her O-levels.

So you see I was imperfect in the English language. When I went to the university, I worked really hard and tried to find every possible way to excel in the English language. And I made it. I got an "A".

Then as the years went by, I had to write CV's, Statement of Purpose and other documents that required skills in English when I applied abroad. I also had to appear in TOEFL in which I excelled.

Fast forward to the present, I can write effortlessly in English now. It takes me only several minutes to write articles or plot a story or write the skeleton of a self-help eBook on a topic that speaks to me.

The child in me that wept in those early years because of her imperfection in the English language has finally won. She is happy with the progress and milestones she has covered.

This way with the required effort, perseverance and determination any person can master perfection out of their imperfections. I am a living example of that. So when I say it is possible, I mean it really is.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Create-Perfection-Out-of-Your-Imperfections&id=9678753

Why The Pareto Principle Isn't That Magical

About 10 years ago, a kind of famous author marketed this idea that people only need to work a few hours a week and they can enjoy all the freedom they want.

He pictured this fantasy of travelling around the world all year long while working on your laptop. He sparked imagination about the nice idea of doing what you love and earning a living. He painted this wonderful image that everyone can become a millionaire easily.

Without getting into any arguments, he did make the 80/20 Rule (The Pareto Principle) famous when he talked about getting things done.

You probably have heard of such rule right? It is still being rehashed million times by those self-help teachers around the world as if it's a magic bullet to personal productivity.

In short, the Pareto Principle says that 20% of what we do is responsible for 80% of the results we produce.

So all the other 80% of your "to-dos" are merely low-leverage, low-value, low-dollar activities that are yielding you a meagre 20% of total results. Therefore, we should always focus on completing the major 20% important tasks first before we consider investing energy in the unproductive 80% minor things.

What are low-leverage tasks? Well, things like:

• Checking and replying emails first thing when you start working
• Doing your household work like cooking, cleaning, washing clothes if you were a stay-at-home laptop entrepreneur
• Allowing Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram notifications to distract you
• Reading negativity-filled newspaper or watching IQ-lowering television programs
• Letting your phones reside besides you while you're working so they it can buzz you anytime
• Arranging unimportant staff meetings to kill everyone's productivity in the morning
• And a lot more...

These low leverage activities shall never be touched until the high leverage tasks have been completed such as:

• Creating amazing contents (articles, audio recordings, video tutorials) for your audience
• Completing your morning success ritual so you put yourself in the peak energy state to crush your day
• Nurturing your mind with inspirational books, Ted talks or educational audio books
• Producing great quality products and services for your loyal customers
• Crafting marketing messages so you reach out to more people who are in need of your help

Your job as a high achiever is to always get rid of the 80% stuff that aren't important at all, and commit yourself to NOT do them at all (delegate or delete or outsource), OR do them only after you've accomplished the important 20% ones at the end of the day.

The Pareto Principle is actually super simple, uncluttered and non-mythical. As long as you follow through the process and always do the high-leverage work first, you'll easily double or even triple your productivity.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-The-Pareto-Principle-Isnt-That-Magical&id=9536860

7 Ways To Beat Procrastination And Start Taking Action Today!

We all struggle with distraction, interruptions and ADD.

With the advent of the Internet, smartphones, and Wi-Fi, low productivity has become one of the most prevalent diseases across the globe. It will be a long battle to regain our attention control, and I recommend you to take baby steps during the process.

Below are 7 simple ways to help you beat procrastination so you finally take action on the goals you have set.

#1 No More "Someday I will... "

Recognize that the best time to take action is 10 years ago, the next best time is now.

Stop living in the delusion that you have millions days in the future to pursue something your heart desires.

If there's something that you really want to do - whether it's to start a blog teaching people your cooking expertise, or making the phone call and ask your crush out, or giving a surprise visit to your parents whom you haven't seen for a year - you've got to plan when you are going to do it.

Time doesn't wait.

According to Bronnie Ware, author of the bestselling book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, the number one thing people regret is that "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

Procrastination may be a short-term relief, but it's not going to get you anywhere.

Choose the pain of discipline over the pain of regret.

#2 Take Massive Imperfect Courageous Action

Forget about perfectionism, just aim for the "85% good enough" standard and get it out there.

Your life-changing products or services aren't going to change a single life until you push it out to the market.

Your relentless studying and reading won't do humanity any good until you go out and implement the wisdom.

Your genius ideas aren't going to turn into a billion dollar business until you pitch it in the Shark Tank.

The key to success, especially entrepreneurial success, is your speed of execution.

Results come from nothing but massive imperfect courageous actions, not affirmations, visualizations or meditations.

#3 Action Leads To Motivation

Do you think you need motivation first before you can take action?

Do you believe you need to wait for the "perfect moment or timing" before you can take action?

Do you trust yourself that you are good enough to at least start taking action?

In the self-help world, many people fall into the thinking trap that they need to "prepare more" before they can really initiate the task they want, whether it's about starting a conversation with a lady, starting an online business, or starting to workout.

Sadly, these preparations often become excuses for them not to take action.

The truth is motivation comes when you take that scary action.

If you're willing to force yourself to "do that thing" for just 5 minutes, you'll be surprised that action is easier than you thought and you'll be motivated to continue taking action and make some real progress.

#4 Plan Your Day The Night Before

You never want to wake up not knowing exactly how the next 16 hours will be.

Planning should always happen the night before, so that the moment you open your eyes, you are in automation mode and you don't need to spend extra thoughts to craft out your day.

Before you know it, you're already spending your first 2 hours doing the one big thing of the day that will yield you 80% of the progress.

#5 Stop Multitasking

Science has proven that our brain is incapable of multitasking.

All we are doing is reacting to that stimulus, switching our attention to a different task, finishing the unimportant stuff, coming back to the original task having no idea where we are at, spending extra time & energy to get back into flow.

CNN World has reported that switching tasks make you dumber than being stoned, because our IQ drops by 10 points when we switch tasks while our IQ drops by 5 points when we smoke marijuana.

Don't want to be an idiot?

Time to cut off all the emails, phone calls, Facebook, app notifications, news updates, or chit-chat with your colleagues while you work!

#6 Chunk Things Into Baby Steps

I am annoyed by this cliché but it's true: You eat an elephant one bite at a time.

One main reason we procrastinate is because we feel it's too difficult, too long and too much to do it.

Big goals are fantastic, but when it comes to action, you want to make them seem as easy as possible.

So chunk them into mini segments so that the pleasure of completion outweighs the pain of taking action.

#7 Reward & Celebrate

Nothing pisses your brain off more than enduring some painful discipline for a long time and not getting rewarded at the end of the process!

You've got to reward yourself kindly at the end so that you anchor massive pleasure to the beautiful moment of task completion.

Pet yourself on the back so that when you start another boring, mundane, yet significant campaign, you can motivate yourself to finish it as soon as possible and arrive at the end of the pleasurable tunnel!

I'm going to reward myself now, how about you?

http://ezinearticles.com/?7-Ways-To-Beat-Procrastination-And-Start-Taking-Action-Today!&id=9486485

How Do You Turn a Breakdown to a Breakthrough?

We all have highs and lows in our life. It is with the low times that we most struggle and sometimes do not have the strength to go on. The trick is to turn every breakdown you face to a breakthrough. How do you do that? Read on to find out.

Here are a few tips that you could implement in life for a breakthrough in your problems:

1) Always focus on the positive

Almost every breakdown has an upside. Try to find it and focus on it. Focusing on positivity will reduce the size of your problem. Also look for the gifts the disadvantageous situation has to offer. More often than not, this way you will eventually overcome the breakdown.

2) Bear with the breakdown

Stay with your uncomfortable situation. Time heals everything. And things do not always stay the same. Time brings change and shifts to better things.

3) Share your woes

Ventilating out your woes with someone you trust deeply makes you lighter and eases your mind, putting you in a situation to handle your problems bravely and skillfully so that you finally get a breakthrough.

4) Journal your worries

If you don't like sharing your worries with anyone, journal them constantly in a journal book and keep it handy all the time and note down everything that comes to your mind including your anxieties. In the process, who knows, you may hit on something solid, leading you to a breakthrough.

5) Believe in the power of prayers

Saying your prayers and reciting the Holy Book are powerful tools in a crisis. But you have to believe in what you are asking for while you pray and recite and only then you almost always get it.

6) Invest yourself in self-help books and programs

These are very educational and the techniques and ways out they teach boost your self esteem and vigor and at the same time, help you to solve your problems.

7) Get help from a professional coach

A professional coach in the appropriate area may be the answer to your problem that is looming over and overwhelming you. Getting in touch with such a coach may help to give you the required breakthrough.

Summing up, the above tips are some of the ways I would suggest that could help you turn around a horrifying breakdown to a pleasant breakthrough. Pick one or two and apply and see how they work for you. Chances are you will benefit because I myself utilize many of them in real life, giving me relief, making me stress-free and eventually wiping out my overwhelm.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Do-You-Turn-a-Breakdown-to-a-Breakthrough?&id=9389993

Absolutely Great Tips To Facilitate Amazing Personal Development

Setting goals for success and self-help can be challenging. While the road to a better you is often paved with pitfalls and obstacles, you can complete the journey, with the right information on your side. This article reveals several sure-fire ways to increase your self-esteem and become a happier, more effective person.

1 - Visualizing your own success is important to the process of achieving goals and attaining success. Without a positive outlook, it is much easier to arrive at defeat. By setting your goals high and imagining your success, you can carry yourself through trials and roadblocks; having something to pursue and a hope in front of you can determine whether you succeed or fail.

2 - Personal development is a process of setting goals and working hard to achieve them. Some goals are their own rewards. Other goals could use a more tangible reward, though. Rewards for success should be set in advance so they can be used for motivation. Treating yourself to a reward for a goal achieved also reinforces the success of the personal development process and encourages you to stick with it.

3 - Try setting a schedule for working out. A good weekly schedule can keep you on track and keep you from forgetting or having to reschedule your weekly routines. This is also a great way to stay motivated and reach your fitness and weight loss goals.

4 - Distract yourself. If you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious, try to distract yourself from your problem. If there is nothing you can do about what is bothering you, obsessing is just going to make it worse. Instead, try to shift your attention to something interesting that you can actually enjoy.

5 - Improve your diet. Having a poor diet can make you feel unwell or depressed. Make sure you are eating plenty of complex carbohydrates. A diet that is low on complex carbohydrates can cause a deficiency in serotonin. Not enough serotonin can go a long way in making you feel depressed.

6 - Make flashcards from your text's glossary. Don't cut the pages from your book. Photocopy each page. Carefully cut out each term and its definition and tape them to their respective sides of miniature flashcards. If you are careful you can often fold the definitions and term in such as way they fold right around the edge of the card.

7 - Identify your current strengths before you try to change your perceived weaknesses. A key component of personal development is having a true understanding of your whole self. Unfortunately, personal development often focuses only on weaknesses. Often, improving an already developed strength may be more helpful to achieving your long-term goals.

8 - Don't be afraid to complement other people on the things that make them great, even if he or she is a perfect stranger. Receiving a heartfelt compliment from someone you love is uplifting. But think about how wonderful it feels when someone who you do not even know, comes-up to you and gives you a killer compliment.

This article shows that self-help, while difficult, is possible. The keys to moving forward with your life, thinking positively, achieving happiness and becoming a well-rounded person all depend on good information. By applying the tips, tricks and mental exercises in this article, you can discover a pathway to success and personal happiness.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Absolutely-Great-Tips-To-Facilitate-Amazing-Personal-Development&id=9444129

Should You Write Down Your Goals Or Not?

Life is never perfect.

Even though there are lots of well-intended authors, speakers or trainers who wholeheartedly aim to help people, often some of their materials are not based on reality.

The self-help industry is one of the examples.

There are tons of myths out there in the market. If we don't distinguish between great solid advice from mediocre re-hashed stuff, we're just going to do more harm than good on ourselves.

So let's break down one of the biggest myths of goal-setting today.

You may have heard about a renowned Harvard/Yale study in the 1980s which asked students this question: "Have you set clear, written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?"

The purported result was that 13% of the students who had goals were earning, on average, twice as much as the 84% who had no goals at all. More astonishingly, 3% of those who had clear, written goals were earning, on average, 10 times as much as the other 97% combined.

I remember first hearing this "study" about 3 years ago when I was going through a famous Personal Power kind of program from one of my most admired role models.

Having conducted some research, I found that this Harvard/Yale study was actually originated from a book published also in the 1980s called What They Don't Teach You at Harvard Business School: Notes from a Street-smart Executive by Mark Mccormack.

But the problem is, I didn't seem to be able to find the actual study from either Harvard or Yale. Maybe it is just my incompetence, but it seems like the "study" was either an urban legend or it's confidential to the FBIs.

Now, whether this goal-setting study is real or not, the next more important question is: "Is writing down our goals better to achieve what we want?"

Well, I'm glad that there's an actual study on this.

In 2011, Dr. Gail Matthews, psychology professor at Dominican University, found that "more than 70% of the participants who sent weekly updates to a friend reported successful goal achievement (completely accomplished their goal or were more than half way there), compared to 35% of those who kept their goals to themselves, without writing them down."

Put it simply, she found that to increase one's chance of achieving their goals, it's essential that you combine public accountability, consistency, and writing down your goals.

"Why does writing goals down work?", you may ask.

In my experience, there are 3 main reasons.

Reason #1 You Activate The Power Of Commitment & Consistency

When we start something new and perform the first small action of a whole task, we will create an "open loop" where we feel compelled to finish things we've initiated. If not, we will generate a cognitive dissonance that makes us uncomfortable.

When you write your goals down, you're declaring to yourself that you are going to achieve them. You're literally transforming intangible thoughts in your mind into a written tangible reality.

That's why a simple action of writing things down will trigger your desire to remain consistent to what you've started and commit to finishing it.

Reason #2 You Activate The Power Of Clarity

Writing goals down is like picking a final destination of where you want to go.

If you don't know the "where", you have zero clarity on the "whats" and "hows" to get there.

If you don't at least see the bigger picture, you have zero motivation or courage to move to the next checkpoint.

Clarity brings the peace of mind required for goal achievement.

Reason #3 The Pen Is Mightier Than The Keyboard

In 2014, Pam A. Mueller of Princeton University and Daniel M. Oppenheimer of University of California, found that note-taking by hand are better than taking notes on laptops because the processing that occurs during the act of note taking improves learning and retention.

The process of writing things down takes a longer time, so it encodes the information more deeply in memory and your brain assigns a higher degree of importance to the process.

I still remember vividly that back in my university years, when I attended the law lectures, group seminars, or small class tutorials, I was always compelled to type things verbatim into the Word document simply because I knew that typing was much faster so I naturally didn't want to "miss anything".

Well, no wonder why I can't remember a single thing I had learnt... (Ha!)

Maybe Einstein is right again, "Paper is to write things down that we need to remember. Our brains are used to think."

So my friend, when it comes to important things like realizing your dream goals, stop using your computer or mobile device.

Pick a 1-2 hours' time slot in the weekend, sit down quietly without distractions, and use your hand to write down things you want.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Should-You-Write-Down-Your-Goals-Or-Not?&id=9495220

Amazing Self Help Tips For Improved Personal Growth

Many people often ignore the fact that personal growth through a self-help process is something that everyone should always continue to work on. It is a vital part of living a full and healthy life. Goals are a huge part of personal development, and they cause you to focus on improving many areas in your life. This article has many tips for you to try as you enhance personal development.

Learning more about personal growth can steer you away from pitfalls and dead-ends on your own path to success. The copious amounts of books and other materials available on self-help, are valuable resources. If they provide nothing else, they will at least illustrate negative examples and dangerous practices that the committed personal growth enthusiast can learn to avoid, as indicated below.

1 - Assigning blame is a waste of time, in the vast majority of cases. Part of a successful personal growth regimen is learning this fact and giving up the blame game. Focusing on overcoming new problems is more productive and more mature, than trying to find out who is to blame.

2 - Do what you can to stop nagging people if that is a habit that you have. This does nothing but annoy everyone and it makes you appear both unprofessional and someone nobody wants to be around. If you need something done or something is not done correctly, speak nicely to the person and express what needs to happen. They'll appreciate the kindness and will most likely try to fulfill your request because you did not irritate them by nagging.

3 - Research and learn from others. When you are working towards a goal in your life, seek out others who are either working towards or have already achieved your goal. Not only will they be able to provide support and answer questions, they can be used as examples illustrating exactly what you should or should not do to succeed.

4 - Stop thinking so much about yourself. That may seem counter-intuitive, but when you start paying attention to what you can do for others instead of worrying about yourself so much, good things can happen. The appreciation of others when you've done self-less acts is just icing on the cake and you'll improve how you view yourself, too.

5 - Finding a spiritual anchor to devote one-self to is a great self-help idea. During hard times we tend to dwell on what is troubling us and lose sight of the bigger picture. A religious faith helps one focus on that bigger picture while altering the focus from hardship to a higher power.

6 - Be timely and reliable. There is no such thing as being fashionably late. Late is late and no one truly appreciates it. If you are responsible for a certain job be sure you deliver on time. You will gain the reputation of being the one everyone can rely on and the awards could, potentially at least, be great.

7 - Smile and embrace happiness. The mere simple act of smiling will relax the muscles and also instill a feeling of well-being. It is impossible to smile when you are angry and in a bad mood, as your facial muscles especially, will be too tense.

Everyone wants to move forward. Strive for your goals, better yourself, show kindness to others, dream, and put others before yourself. Personal growth through a conscious and concerted self-help process, is all-encompassing, and you should always be striving towards this goal. Follow the advice from this article, and you will certainly find yourself living a life full of happiness, health, wealth and inner prosperity.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Amazing-Self-Help-Tips-For-Improved-Personal-Growth&id=9445095