Center As You Enter

I open my eyes. Morning.

Quiet time. Meditation.

I relish this moment. Yes, there is much to do. The difficult conversation ahead. The pile of work sitting on my desk and on my mind. The emails to return. The seminar to design. Do I have time?

Yes. I will make time. I will sit quietly and do nothing. Nothing except to notice the breath coming in and going out of my body. The thoughts, the physical awareness, the birds chirping outside my window. All coming and going, like the breath.

Wendy Palmer, a teacher of aikido and leadership presence, categorizes the many ways to practice centering into three areas: committed practice, ritual practice, and spontaneous practice.

Committed Practice

Committed centering practices are ones you do every day, such as:

• Meditation
• Prayer
• Quiet sitting of any kind
• Yoga, Tai Chi, Qi Gong
• Other similar mind-body practices

The committed practice is your foundation. When you begin the day in a centered way, you will more easily come back to center as the day unfolds and challenges occur.

Centering Rituals

Centering rituals are activities you do with the purpose of reinforcing the centered state. For example, I consciously center myself when I:

• Put on my seat belt
• Stop at a red light
• Touch the door knob as I enter my house
• Listen to the first ring of my telephone
• Breathe in and out from center before each meal

People often ask if physical exercise activities like running, swimming, or aikido are centering practices. If you engage with the purpose of reinforcing the centered state, then they are. For example, when I swim and I consciously extend my arms and legs--and my ki (energy)--from center, I'm practicing the centered state.

Spontaneous Practice

A spontaneous centering practice can happen anytime you notice you're not centered, stop, and re-center yourself.

• In a difficult conversation, I notice I'm about to push for my way when it would be more useful to wait, listen and acknowledge what I hear.
• I'm driving in heavy traffic and someone cuts me off.
• A customer service representative puts me on hold and after 5 minutes of waiting, the call disconnects.

You're more likely to center spontaneously if you also have a committed practice and rituals that you regularly engage in.

Center As You Enter

At Marin County Day School in Northern California, Aikido is part of the curriculum--they call it Energy Time--and the practice of centering is reinforced throughout the school. Signs posted above classroom doors encourage students and teachers alike to:

Center as you enter.

Breathe before you leave.

Their moving YouTube documentary, "Center As You Enter," is a vivid example of the possibilities available for centering training in K-8 elementary schools. As the Marin County students put it:

• "I think you have to do it a lot to do it really good."
• "Yeah, you have to practice."

How do you practice centering? Do you reinforce your centeredness in a consistent way, so that you're less likely to falter when life throws a curve?

Life weighs heavily at times. But right now there is only this moment. Center now, and let this moment expand beyond all there is to do and say, until just being present is a gift.

Breathe. Smile. Be.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Center-As-You-Enter&id=9907577

The Hole That Was Dug For Me (By Joshua Clayton)

My life is not smooth, and the lives of many other people are not smooth either. The rougher the life, the more you take it and get past the roughness, the more you can handle, they say? That is real, honest and true. When the anger at life is explosive enough, you become a Hitler. When the anger at life is implosive enough, you become a cocaine crazed Sigmund Freud. But when you can handle it, you become like me. Able to take anything and still tick at even the worst news and worst happenings there could be. That is what I want to write about in this article today:

Life seems harsh and even mean and unreasonable when you expect from it. But, when you know that life expects from you actually more than you expect from it, it is not such a challenge, it is a mantle you take up, and it does not matter what the weirdness, strangeness or just plain mess it brings, you can get through the challenge and it does not matter what the challenge is, it is not a big deal.

Some people get suicidal at the smallest disappointment though. While in my own and probably Joan Rivers case, nature has to take me out, because I am not going willingly into the hole that was dug for me. Let us look at Joan Rivers for a moment, once I read a few of her autobiographies and books of hers and I understood her viewpoint better. Her husband committed suicide over business disappointments, and Johnny Carson tried to get her out of show business, among other things. But that is not the point, I said I would look at Joan Rivers for a moment and I did, back to my facts and the facts of everybody again. When you expect from life, it is disappointing and even suicidal type disappointing. When you know that life expects from you, you can live until nature takes you out or even better, develop your spirit so that immortality works for your consciousness. Well, something like that.

My point is that I do not expect anything good from life, but I do expect to give something good to life. Is that a surprising statement? Well, ask most people who are contemplating suicide with that deep internal anger why they want to commit suicide and they would probably answer, "I expected more from life!" Well, in my opinion and personal reality that is the wrong answer and always is, no matter who commits suicide or gives up, from Robin Williams, John Belushi and Richard Manuel to Donald "Don" LaPre or Bernard Madoff and his kids. No disappointment or need for "escape" is worth killing yourself over in my opinion and reality.

So, back to what I was saying: I expect nothing. But, I know that life expects something from me. I will fulfill that expectation and not expect any reward in return, and if I do or do not get one, it does not matter. I know I did the right thing in my heart, soul and spirit, instead of "taking the easy way". Yes, the easy way is paved with easy gold but ends in a dump. Real Shamballa or Shangri La is located in the most worthless Gobi desert. Get my point? The easy way is enticing and even seemingly thrilling, but the hard way leads to understanding and enlightenment that can earn you those thrills infinite times over. If you get the point to that last sentence before this sentence that I am getting at, you will save yourself a lot of trouble, because I am not going to spell out the context I took a lot of trouble to realize for myself. That ends this article.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Hole-That-Was-Dug-For-Me&id=8707347

Space: Perception And Effect

Think about the word 'space' and our perception varies from person to person. As humans we desire for space. It shapes our personality and makes us unique. Not to forget the fact that we live in a country that is infused with a diverse culture and therefore it is inevitable that each cultural value will eventually shape our beliefs.

The world views space and structure mainly through visual elements. Therefore a brick, tree, door, window, and carpet are only a few visual elements that combine and allow us to experience space.

Remember space is all about perspective. So, depending on our position in society, we inhabit space differently. Every minute of our lives we are in physical dialogue with the space. The spaces we occupy directly influence our psychological well-being and creative output.

To elaborate more on this concept of space, we take a few examples to understand what space means to us.

At public bathrooms in restaurants/pubs/motels, our minds immediately switch to a defensive one where our prime notion of cleanliness and privacy is at an all time high. It is a 'necessity'. On the flip side, think about your home; it is one place where your defenses are off, and you're more relaxed. It is where your true identity is shaped.

We also see the importance of a simple queue. Instead of hoarding the counter, a queue restores sense of order in society by eliminating the class barrier. Similarly, a hotel room's main goal is to make you feel as if you're the first person to live in it. In offices, you're surrounded by white walls in square boxes. Your soft-board therefore when filled with personal memories such as a photograph or your kid's drawings, will create a sense of being close to your loved ones at all times, thus increasing productivity.

In terms of colour and the way space is used, the human mind reacts differently to situations. Say, you give a man a puzzle in a tight room, where the ceilings are low. He will complete the puzzle quickly, as there is a sense of "restriction". Similarly you feel more relaxed with the colour blue as it signifies open skies, vast oceans, and beaches, because airy like spaces help us feel free.

And finally, there is an 'escape' space, where for a few minutes or hours, one would wish to get out of the hands from 'family, colleagues and bosses'. It could be anything; a game on your phone, a walk in your area or simply get lost in your thoughts.

Therefore, to put it in simple terms, the psychology of space is the perfect interplay between the man and space.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Space:-Perception-And-Effect&id=9371103

How to Overcome Bitterness - It Is Only Bringing You Down

What's the point of your hatred? What will you get from it? Absolutely nothing. Holding a grudge on a person for far too long will only hinder your growth as an individual. You will continue to get stuck in that same wretched situation that is also preventing you from moving on. Overthrow your anger and embrace positivity in your life.

Yes, it does hurt and it left a deep scar in your heart. When you obtain an injury, the last thing you would want to do is leave it as it is, without even applying proper medication. It is bound to get worse and before you knew it, the wound will hurt so much more than before. So patch it up. You may release your anger but after that, remember to walk away. Don't bring negativity inside your life.

There is nothing good in prolonging your bitterness. It is not an easy process. You can be wary, but don't let it consume the best of you. Inspire yourself to let go of your grudge through these few tips.

Learn to forgive

For now, since the wounds are still too fresh, this may be the last thing you would want to do. But be always "open" to the idea of it. Nothing lasts forever and so is your bitterness. When you forgive a person, it doesn't necessarily mean that you pretend that you are 100% okay. You don't forget the hurt, it will always be there. Whether you like it or not, it is already a part of you. It is now one of the reasons why you are now wiser and stronger than before.

In order to forgive, you have to surrender your desire for revenge. You don't need to personally see to it that you both are even. Doing so will only ignite an endless war between the two of you. Give yourself a break from all the emotional pain and start mending whatever is broken.

Heal

Be sensitive to your need of healing. You are no superman so stop enduring the pain. If you are lucky enough that the person who hurt you is willing to atone for his faults, point out what changes and efforts you would need to see before both of you can truly achieve reconciliation. But if you are on your solitary road of cure, as much as possible aim to regain what has been taken away from you. The moment you constantly strive to achieve self-peace, the less bitter you will be even if the pain is still there.

Move

Whatever you do, don't stay in that same place. Don't hold on to that grudge again and again. Don't dwell on the hurt and divert your focus on how to move on. Right now it may feel that nothing is happening, but if you persist and continue walking, sooner or later you will definitely reach euphoria.

Without proper guidance, it would be quite impossible to heal your wounds. Seek God's grace and ask for advice from your family and friends. Help should be widely embraced in your grievous moments. Healing is possible if you make it happen.

Be better not bitter.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Overcome-Bitterness---It-Is-Only-Bringing-You-Down&id=9448368

Dealing With Explosive Anger

We all get angry from time to time. It can be hard to have everything going our way. People will always be making mistakes and doing us wrong that anger is inevitable. Whereas getting angry is a normal part of life, there are instances it is a problem. There are individuals who will find it very hard to deal with their anger. The normal way of handling anger is either speaking it out and telling out our minds or holding it in and letting it cool off. We all have our ways of dealing with anger.

However, individuals dealing with explosive anger will get into very serious situations once they are angered. They will do drastic unnecessary things only for it to be too late before they realize it. For instance, there are grown adults who will bang on things and hit the walls out of anger. Some will even hit people next to them. The worst cases are people who hit items on the floor and even put others on fire as a result of the anger. The worst thing about this kind of anger is that it can be very dangerous. These kinds of people end up hurting others in the mindless acts of anger. By the time they come back to their minds, the damage is already done.

What to do

If you are one of the people who deal with explosive bouts of anger, even with the slightest provocation, professional help is important. The professionals will help you in coming with better solutions of dealing with anger as soon as you begin to feel it rise. If you do not feel like you really need professional assistance, then you can try a little personal discipline. It can include the following:

• Walk out of a conversation that seems like it will end up pushing you on the wall. This is especially with individuals that are hard headed and stubborn.
• If possible, get out of the room and take a walk. The fresh air will help cool off the anger before it reaches boiling point
• Calm down and try to plead your case as compared to feeling belittled or disrespected by the other party. When listening and with talking calmly, shouting is kept at bay, hence anger is evaded.
• Think about the talk or the facts the conversation is all about before responding. It is a simple way of keeping harsh answers which lead to anger at bay.

Anger management can be a hard thing to achieve alone. There are, however, lots of material that you can get to help in dealing with the problem. For instance, books online can work well in helping the situation. These free books will offer you a detailed guide of how to deal with anger before it turns dangerous. With the professional help, you will be in a better position to handle difficult conversations or actions. You can download books you feel are most appropriate even for future reference in the same topic.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Dealing-With-Explosive-Anger&id=8538059

It's Not Really Anger, It's Confusion, The Missing Link

Anger management is a huge issue and business. There are so many books and courses on this topic and yet, there is no reduction of anger in the world.

As you may know from reading my other work, I do not agree with anything in the contemporary methods of anger management, because that is all just containing and dealing with anger when you feel it. Rather, my methods are about eliminating the source of anger so you do not get angry to begin with.

This article will discuss the link preceding the emotion of anger and the event, in order to explain that anger is not a thing in itself but rather that it is a result of something, as you probably know, but I want to show that the cause of anger is not what you think it really is. In seeing what anger really is, or its true source and the reason you get angry, this should be a major step to its reduction in your life.

Anger is like a fart and a fart is only a byproduct of the food you ate. Therefor, anger is a byproduct of something. The problem is that you may think your anger is a result of a situation, something that happened or what someone said, but that is not the immediate preceding cause of the anger. There is a step in between.

This is why you stay angry for a long time, because you do not see the missing link between the event and your anger.

Confusion is the food that causes the noxious results known as anger.

Confusion of a situation you cannot understand about an event or problem, or how a person could do or say what they did, or not do the simplest of things, can drive you crazy. That frustration is vented as anger. You are not angry, you are confused, and the confusion builds up like a volcano and eventually explodes.

The reason you cannot understand is because you would not do it that way, or you would do that differently so you expect everyone to do what you would do, to be like you. Or equally common is that your fixed opinions based on your limited knowledge of all things in the world close your mind to accepting that there may be different ways for different people about anything and everything in life.

We are all different, people, cultures, countries, customs, some help others and some blow others up, and both feel correct and justified in their actions. The list of cultural differences is endless. A westerner says they should live for themselves, Asians live for their parents regardless of what they want to do. Both see each other as crazy, but objectively, who is right?

Sometimes people know that they just did not think before they spoke or just stood there and watched something bad happen without taking action even though they saw the problem brewing. They are very confused about their own actions. Why did I say that? Why did I do that? Or, why didn't I say or do that when I knew I should?

When something confusing happens that cannot be explained, we can either ignore it and move on, or we can let it roll around in our mind until it builds up enough force to become a devastating typhoon.

Anger can be expressed towards others, and it can be expressed towards yourself in many ways that are self-destructive and destroy your self-confidence and self-esteem.

If I do not like having indigestion and I know that the cause is eating raw onions, I can avoid eating onions, and I will not have the problem. No confusion, no anger. I understand the cause and the pain is avoided.

When we know the cause of a problem, there is no confusion and we will not get angry. You must use your own examples of this principle to realize the truth behind it. Please do this because if you do not realize it's truth through your own experiences, this information will equate you to being the donkey carrying a load of books, all the knowledge is on its back but not in its mind, and so you will stay just a donkey.

You are never angry, you are confused. You stay confused because you cannot understand why anyone would be different than you. If you accepted that we are NOT all equal, and that there are many different 'species' of humans, some smarter than others, some evil and some good, and that is just the nature of that individual being, you would not be confused.

It would also be of great value in many ways to the betterment of your life if when you are confused or angry, you would first accept that there is always a good reason, but you just do not know what it is. However, people tend to repeat the words; "I don't understand' when in fact they are really saying; 'My way is right and you are wrong, end of story.'

Accepting this obvious and objective truth, to whatever degree, even for common sense when you am stumped with how anyone could be that stupid; intelligence, motivation, self-respect, independent thinking or being a sheep mentality, all these things, in fact every single minor or major difference between you and anyone else, is based on the simple fact that we are not all equal, you will find far less confusion in acceptance.

Does the bird wonder why the fish does not live in the trees? Do you wonder why dogs do not mate with cats? Believing lies create confusion because there is a part of you that knows the truth and yet tries to deny it, and that creates confusion, the seed and fuel for frustration which quickly turns into anger.

The statement that we are all equal is the foundation lie that creates all the confusion which breeds infinite anger. Accepting that we are not all the same species and that some have different values and ways of thinking than you do may not make you accept them, but it will help reduce your anger so that you can think more clearly towards finding a resolution to any problem, and maybe learn a few new things you did not know before.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Its-Not-Really-Anger,-Its-Confusion,-The-Missing-Link&id=9432424

What to Do When You Are Really Angry?

It happens, it's usual, it's expected that we get extremely angry from time to time, that we almost feel like it's closing in on our minds.

After this storm of emotions we all might think that we are not in total control of our reactions during these kinds of situations. Fortunately, there are some little things that can be done to distract our mind off this "Heat". Our mind sometimes act like a child's one; all it needs is just to be distracted.

Here are some things that you can do when you are really angry or frustrated:

1. Change you physical set

If you are in your bedroom; go to the living room. If you are sitting on a chair; go take a walk in your apartment. Trust me this will keep your mind a little bit busy until this high wave of outrage passes.

2. Focus on reason, not emotion

Reason will help you get away from the negative thoughts coming quickly to your mind at these moments. Reason will help you process your feelings "as if it is food getting digested" and determine your best convenient response.

3. Determine what exactly made you angry

It may not be what your friend said but actually a weakness point that it touched inside you. It could be your boss who criticized your performance NOT your wife when you got home afterwards. Many people get angry during certain situations yet they show their anger later at very different ones. A major reason of this behavior is mistaking the true reason that got them angry in the first place. If we analyze the things that actually get us nervous, many problems in this world will be solved.

4. Delay your response

Wait before it's late! Let's be frank; you know you don't get your best decision with a red eye! Surely some people do best under stress, but Don't mistake Stress for Anger. There is a marked difference.

5. Take a cool shower

What is better to extinguish fire than water, right? It will relax your body, energy, and mind.

6. Discharge your anger energy by exercise

Like I said you need to get rid of the boiling energy inside you. Run, Left some Weights, Practice some boxing "I like this one", some intense shouts can be useful to express your anger in a more healthy way.

7. Talk about it with your close ones

Having someone to talk about the things that upset us is a blessing some people don't have. Talk about your anger, your fears, and your passion with the people who are trustworthy, the people who understand you and listen to your words. Discuss with them the things that put you out of normal mood and how to overcome them, even if they didn't find a solution at the moment, talking with them only would let your negative emotions out and gives you a refreshment boost.

8. Avoid your anger triggers

It's wise to limit the things that harass our mood. Life is already full of those so we should save ourselves some peace of mind.

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-to-Do-When-You-Are-Really-Angry?&id=9186974

8 Ways to Really Connect With Each Other

The world may be anti-depth. You don't have to be.

The other day, a 21-year-old family acquaintance and I were talking about how, “What are we?” has become a taboo question among dating couples in her generation. Better to be unconcerned about commitment issues, apparently, even if strong feelings arise or intimacies have occurred.

“I think your generation is anti-depth,” I said.

"It’s true,” she said.

Is superficial somehow better than deep?

Superficial connectedness appears to be a preference in the collective unconscious of millennials, as technology threatens to supplant face-to-face intimacy. With devices in hand, we can avoid human exchange—and the potential awkwardness therein.

One might ask, “What is wrong with avoidance?” As a professor of mine once said, “If you have a flying phobia, you can get treatment—or you can just not fly.”

Because avoidance relieves discomfort or fear in the moment, it feels like a solution. However, prolonged evasion exacerbates anxiety, makes it harder to extinguish, and limits possibilities for life enjoyment. Resilience, a very useful trait, is gained by exposure to stimulus. In small doses, we learn that we can manage and that the threat was unnecessarily inflamed. Maybe we even start to embrace what we shunned.

It is one thing to have a mouse phobia and another to have a social phobia, especially if the latter is culturally induced. Avoiding mice probably won't detract as much from an optimal life as avoiding people. Current research suggests that we do suffer without deep human connections. But how do you define a deep or true connection and how does it differ from say, a Facebook connection? How do you develop it?

Someone recently told me a story: An older person was baffled by a teen’s suicide since the deceased had 40 Facebook friends. A younger person explained that Facebook friends are not necessarily real friends. You may have never met them, and they may not actually care if you live or die or had a bad day. Facebook friendship no longer connotes a precious relationship. We might think we are meeting our primal need via virtual solutions and high tallies of friends or followers but it seems we are not.

According to MIT professor and researcher Sherry Turkle, author of the upcoming Reclaiming Conversation, devices interfere with conversations, empathy, imagination, patience, resilience, inner life and mental health. Studies show that empathy is decreasing rapidly in rising generations.

As inner resources and empathy decline, depression, anxiety and stress are soaring: College health services are inundated with students overwhelmed by depression, anxiety, stress, fragility, fear, loneliness, helplessness and a feeling of victimization. One colleague told me that 75% of the kids on her campus are in treatment. Claiming that one has been traumatized via “micro-aggressions” —passing statements or book passages that trigger feelings of vulnerability—is becoming commonplace as noted in the Atlantic. We have arrived at a place where the outer world presents ongoing psychological danger and the inner world cannot cope. (Boston College psychologist and educational expert Peter Gray describes the astounding situation.

What explains the suffering? Device dependency, helicopter parents, image over substance, and a surfeit of superficial engagements compromise a deeper relationship with the self and with others. Self-knowledge/reliance/soothing techniques, inner resilience, and problem solving skills do not develop properly. The literature indicates that kids are so stressed about grades, social media and performance that they are sleep deprived, sheep-like and soulless. The very things that will help them succeed and stay well, such as meaningful relationships and conversations, are sacrificed. True connections take time to develop—and they do not have ample time.

The strange thing is that there is now so much talk, hype, and valuing of connectedness—being connected, connecting the whole world, reaching out. People in remote places or underserved communities may need to a way to “connect” for health or educational reasons. However, those with resources may be inundated with so many meaningless connections that they feel overwhelmed, depressed, or hopeless—especially if they crave depth and substance. Breadth does not do it for everyone, or perhaps anyone.

In the Steve Jobs documentary, the mother of his first child comments that he made a device that created connectedness because he had trouble connecting to people in real life. Inventing devices can involve a rich creative process or a psychological solution/compensation for the innovators. But the impact on consumers may be less freeing and more fraught. It appears that early innovators did not anticipate “addiction” risks—or perhaps business interests trumped human needs.   

Author Jonathan Franzen, in a review of Turkle’s new book, says that we “adopted new technologies in pursuit of greater control, only to feel controlled by them.” We cannot just stop using our devices, being seduced by them, or depending on them. They are beautiful and serve many purposes. It seems that Jobs believed his devices would place innovation, expression, creativity, education, and delight in the palm of each hand holding a smartphone, yet had his own children take technology in stride. As is the way with most things, balance breeds betterness.

 8 Suggestions for Cultivating Helpful Conversations, Health and Friendships

1. Notice it when things do not feel quite right while you are ensconced in your device. Self-sensitivity preserves your health and increases your ability to understand others. Many people deny or dismiss inner feeling states but they are a great source of information.
2. Make a plan to participate in the real world—meet a friend, take a walk, use your hands to make something or sit on a bench and daydream or dialogue with your self or with another.
3. Establish a moderate use pattern for devices, as Turkle recommends. Make a clear, consistent plan so that your mind and body integrate it. Have conversations without devices in view.
4. Find a way to form deeper friendships. Start casual, take small steps, tolerate strange situations and strangers, and let it evolve when something clicks.
5. Trade self-consciousness for interest in the other person. Be in a conversation rather than putting on a performance. This is a version of emotional altruism—and altruism is a “healthy defense.”
6. Figure out, for you, when your needs are best met by technology and when nothing will replace a human interaction. Look for this answer inside by what sinks or elevates your emotional state.
7. Develop empathy by listening, observing, learning, and asking questions. Be curious. Delve into an endeavor that has personal meaning and draws you in. These are both ways of getting “deeper.”
8. Know that there is something ubiquitous, primal, and timeless about the need for a true friend and that deep friendship heals. Science says so.     

Source: by Chloe Barron

In the car on the way home after writing this draft, the song, “You’ve Got a Friend,” by Carole King came on the radio. I just cannot help but share because since 1971 (and evidenced today by the current Broadway hit “Beautiful,”) it has resonated with millions of people. In those days, “get real” was commonly prescribed advice. Just saying. . .

“When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand.

And nothing, nothing is going right.

Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest night.

You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am,

I’ll come running to see you again.

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you’ve got to do is call

And I’ll be there. You’ve got a friend…”

(lyrics by Carole King)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-creativity-cure/201509/8-ways-really-connect-each-other

The Hidden Antidote For Depression

It is no secret that depression is a worldwide epidemic, but did you know that a hidden cause of depression is the fear of self-expression? If you often sacrifice self-expression in exchange for acceptance, appreciation or approval – or to avoid negative consequences like rejection or conflict – you may become depressed.

Every time you shut down self-expression in order to get your emotional needs met by others, you are actually rejecting your Real Self – cutting yourself off from your intrinsic source of energy and power, and thereby diminishing your natural state of peace, joy and love. The result is often what we refer to as depression.

But, why would we ever do this to ourselves?

From birth we are taught to believe that in order to be accepted, appreciated, or to get any emotional needs met, it is necessary to follow a set of rules, regulations and limiting beliefs that were handed down to us from parents, teachers, religion, culture and society. If we fear that others will withhold love and approval if we don’t conform, we are likely to restrict our self-expression whenever it contradicts with the pre-existing ideals of those around us. We may even feel as if our survival is at risk – making us believe that self-suppression is a better choice than self-expression. Unfortunately, when you constantly repress your Real Self, there is a huge unseen price to pay.

Depression is the unavoidable by-product of not being who you really are and a direct result of repressing your Real Self.

When The Need For Peace Turns into Depression

Yes, it can be wonderful to choose peace over adversity, but if you are habitually choosing peace in order to avoid conflict, you may be sacrificing your Real Self. Negating yourself or your preferences, in order to avoid conflict with others, may sound evolved and selfless on the surface, but when we look deeper, we see that continuously closing yourself down in order to avoid conflict causes chronic depression.

Self-expression is a sign of spiritual evolution. Self-expression allows the Divine to shine through you like a priceless work of art. Choosing peace over expression just might mean repressing Divinity.

Indeed, sometimes being our Real Selves causes others to feel uncomfortable and maybe even to judge us for being different – and on occasion there could be conflict. This is all true, but what is also true is that when you have the courage to express your Real Self, you call forth a higher version of reality where you can truly be your Real Self. Yes, this might mean overcoming the opinions of others on the way to this vibrant new land of expression but it is nothing you can’t handle. When you get there, you will discover that there is nothing easier than just being yourself. The people in your life will learn your new song and the steps to your new dance, and many of them will sing and dance along with you, and those who don’t will simply go on their merry way.

Your only job is to be You. If you are not going to be You, then who will? Being You requires that you follow your joy, listen to your heart, and express yourself in all ways that feel like YOU.

Get Plugged In!

When we express our Real Selves, we are tapped into the source of who we really are and, as a result, we are plugged into unlimited life force energy. When we hide our Real Selves and suppress expression, we disconnect from this immense source of energy and power, and if we do this for a prolonged period of time, eventually we become depressed, and it seems as if the whole world is against us. This means that in order to fit in, be accepted or to keep the peace, we often sacrifice the very life force that gives us the vision to create extraordinary lives and the energy and enthusiasm to follow through.

Depression is a result of being disconnected from the Supreme Energy of the Universe, but at any moment, you can get plugged back in, by choosing to be who you really are.

Certainly, seek professional help for depression when needed, but don’t depend on pills or doctors to save you. You can only save yourself by finding your Real Self and getting plugged into a Universe that loves you.

Listen To Your Heart

You cannot live your life according to anyone else’s ideals, values or expectations; you must choose to live life for yourself. Every time you suppress a desire to try something new, connect with other people, laugh, have fun or create, you repress the life force energy within you – shutting down the source of a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Depression is the long term consequence of not living your life the way “something inside you” really wants to live it.

The way to live a “life worth living” is to live it from your heart. You must throw out the concept of right and wrong, good and bad, sinful and saintly and begin to discover your own personal truth that is not influenced by anyone or anything (as long as it does not physically hurt you or others, the sky is the limit).

Impossible you might think – but it is what you have unknowingly been seeking. You will not find the answer to your happiness in anyone else’s diary or vision board. You can only find the answer for yourself – perhaps independent of everything you have ever learned. If you want peace, bliss and a “life worth living,” there is no other way.

How far down the rabbit hole of self-suppression must you sink before you begin to question the illusions you have been living?

If you were to know me now, you would never imagine that I once suffered from chronic depression. It began when I was just a child and it lasted for decades. Living with depression was very much like having an invisible disability that affected every aspect of my life. I tried everything to overcome it, and I sometimes had success that would last for weeks or months but that dark cloud always returned. More than anything I wanted to experience joy and I wanted to be at peace with myself, but it would take me years and years to find this permanent cure.

People who lovingly express their Real Selves are simply not depressed. They are the people who go through life singing and dancing. They have made the choice to live their lives from the inside out and not care one bit about what other’s might think. Joyful people know that, in the end, what they think and feel about themselves and their lives is all that matters. They are the people who die with smiles on their faces and feel the deepest sense of gratitude for having lived the best possible lives they could have imagined. You have the very same choices right now.

You might be depressed because you have a history of oppression but as long as you blame the outside world, you will remain powerless to heal yourself. Instead of trying to overcome oppression, turn your attention toward expression. The way to climb out of the pits of depression is by the ladder of self-expression. It is true, that when you are depressed, it is often difficult to get in touch with self-expression, but if you can take small steps consistently, you will make progress. The journey from depression to expression is one day at a time. Every time you express yourself you are one step closer to emotional freedom.

The only thing that is required for an extraordinary life is bringing your Real Self to the table.

What Is Required To Be Your Real Self?

Meet Your Own Emotional Needs

Until we wake up and become conscious, our emotional needs dictate our behavior. The need for approval, appreciation, understanding and acceptance often rule our lives, causing us to sacrifice ourselves in order to get these, and other, emotional needs met. But, it never works, because if you have to hide your Real Self in order to gain approval, for example, it is only your false-self being approved of, so you never really experience approval. Instead you may even feel like a fraud.

As long as you expect others to meet your emotional needs, you will stay locked in a prison of your own making. You unlock the doors of your prison when you stop looking to others, and you meet your own emotional needs. How can you expect anyone to appreciate you, if you don’t appreciate yourself? Ironically, as soon as you practice self-appreciation, the world will reflect it back to you. If you are no longer needing others to meet your emotional needs, you won’t have to change or hide yourself for any reason, or for anyone. You will be free to be yourself – your real, true, authentic, beautiful self! This is the whole point.

Re-evaluate Your Life

When you finally decide that the cost of not being yourself is too much to pay, the first step to take is a non-judgmental assessment of your current life. In order to determine where you are out of alignment with your Real Self, a willingness to be honest is required in all areas of your life. It is important to approach this evaluation with curiosity rather than judgement. Judgment will lock you into negativity, while a sense of curiosity will begin to loosen your past reality and allow you to start thinking about what is possible.

Listen to Your Inner Voice

Deep inside you is a voice that is whispering divine instructions to you. This still small voice speaks through your secret desires, your creative drive and your greatest fantasies of a life well-lived. You may think, “I don’t know what my inner-self is saying,” but this is only because you have been suppressing your deepest desires for so long. When you don’t listen to that inner voice, it becomes almost impossible to hear, but once you begin to listen and take inspired actions, your divine voice will become louder and clearer.

Apply Unconditional Self-Allowance

It is time to release that inner critic that focuses continuously on everything that is wrong. It is time to embrace yourself from a loving space of self-allowance. You don’t have to accept anything. It is not about acceptance. But, if you can begin to allow yourself to be where you are right now, you will likely experience a sense of peace which will allow you access to your inner-self. From a space of unconditional self-allowance, you can find your truth, and ultimately manifest that truth in ways that support your greatest and most extraordinary self.

Embrace Soul-Worth

When you base your self-worth on possessions, accomplishments or how you think others see you, your worth is transient – and it remains inaccessible, as long as it depends on external things. This type of artificial worth invokes fear and anxiety, even when you are experiencing what you consider success. But how can you be your Real Self if your worth is contingent on things you cannot control?

The greatest healing is to own your worth. Stop giving it away and stop looking for proof outside of yourself. Look deep inside. Your worth is guaranteed and unconditional. You have worth just for being. This is Soul-Worth! When you remember that worth is intrinsic and unconditional, you gain access to personal freedom, where it doesn’t matter what the world thinks or says. Imagine having the freedom to discover yourself and ultimately the freedom of glorious expression.

http://wakeup-world.com/2015/06/01/the-hidden-antidote-for-depression/

Don't Let Fear Conquer Your Greatness

For one moment, just imagine what you would be able to accomplish if you knew you couldn’t fail. That anything you put your mind to or wanted to achieve, it would be accomplished.

I’m sure if you thought in terms like that, you would be a high-action-oriented person, hardly ever second guessing anything. Most people don’t realize or even come close to acknowledging the incredible potential that they are capable of. I believe that we all have greatness deep within us from the time we were born. However, somewhere along the way and the older we get, we let fear completely take over and rob us of the realization of just how powerful we really are.

This is extremely important because some of the most talented people in the world never get that idea off the ground, write their first book that they always wanted to write, open up their own business, or do something remarkable with their life, all because of fear. 

Can you remember something you once wanted to achieve or a goal that you set for yourself, and the first thought that came to mind was “I can’t really do this” or “How will I ever be able to achieve this goal?”

I know I have had plenty of those moments. I always would set huge goals and then think to myself, “Stop kidding yourself Matt, you can’t do that." It’s a natural human reaction to have those thoughts occur when you set huge goals for yourself, goals that will make you grow as an individual and stretch your current way of thinking.

Just know that those feelings of fear are completely natural and happen to everyone who has achieved greatness or done something remarkable. However, what must not happen regardless of how uncomfortable it may be at first is to let those same exact feelings prevent you from taking massive action and constantly moving forward. This unfortunately is a category that most people fall into.

There is a huge difference between feeling fear and letting that fear hold you back. If we want to achieve greatness and reach our full potential in life, one thing is for certain: We have to move past the fear and take action anyway! Fear wants you to stall and stay still. Fear and mediocrity go hand in hand. Don't let them defeat you like they have defeated so many. 

That is the whole point and purpose of setting big goals. They help us grow and move out of our comfort zone. If you line up some of the best innovators and highest achievers, I can almost guarantee you that they will tell you they felt tons of fear when they began to take action on their brilliant ideas. What they didn’t do is stop. They didn’t let the fear or thought of failure win the battle of their minds.

I challenge you from here on out to constantly expand your vision as to what's possible in your life. The more we can see ourselves victorious and not being paralyzed by fear, the more that will prompt us to actually take action and get going.

The next time fear pops up, just go. The more you think about your fears, the more those fears start to define you. You were born to be great, so don't you dare let fear conquer you!

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/244918