Change, Oh No, Not That

How many times have you thought, or heard, someone say, "I hate change."

Change seems to be one of those words, like confrontation, that makes us shiver. Somehow it seems to have a negative connotation, like it's a bad thing. It's something to be avoided. It's something to fear.

So often we judge our fear of change and call ourselves names, by saying things such as, "I'm such a baby." Or "What a wimp." Judging our fear of change will tend to cement the fear into place as opposed to helping us tune in to that fear and discover what is at the core to help us to work through this fear.

What is it About Change that is So Uncomfortable?

As creatures of habit many of us love routine and predictability. Most of us find comfort in the familiar and resist changing our status quo. We must explore just what it is about change that makes us feel uncomfortable in order to begin the process of working through our fear and discover what spurs our anxiety at the very thought of a new approach.

Is your Fear of Change Rooted in your Childhood or Adolescence?

As a child, adolescent, or young adult, if we lived in the same place for a long period of time and were not exposed to much change, then change as an adult is unfamiliar and may feel uncomfortable. The thought of change may provoke anxiety.

If we experienced frequent change in our youth, and were not emotionally prepared by our parents to learn how to adjust to the new experience, then as an adult we may crave the need to stay in one place, physically, emotionally, spiritually, or relationship-wise.

• We might have heard messages like... "Don't do that, you might get hurt."

• Perhaps we had a helicopter Mom, or Dad, who hovered when we were exploring outside the family box of friends, games or activities.

• We may have lived in a rigid and confining household.

• Or our household was so chaotic, and inconsistent, that as an adult we crave "stability". Even if what we are doing is not fulfilling and making us happy.

Is Fear, or Anxiety, the Primary Reason that Change Feels so Uncomfortable?

If we identify fear or anxiety as the root cause, then it's important to know this, and honor these feelings. To connect with that part of ourselves, and look deep inside, so we can explore the origins. To begin to explore what that part of us has to teach us before we move forward to make changes.

Is it the Fear of the Unknown, the Unfamiliar, or of What Might Happen?

• What if I make a mistake?

• Is it that we believe that the enemy we know is better than the one we don't and we have a fear of the unknown?

Often when we think of change, we consider the possible negative consequences of it, as opposed to the possible positive consequences.

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How To Live Your Full Potential Every Day

Many people, who seek assistance to improve their lives reveal fear is one of the most prominent reason. Fear oftentimes leads to regrets. In fact, regrets can be carried from previous incarnations along with other feelings that weren't resolved.

Regret is the final hurdle that people need to resolve after fear. Transforming or Transmuting any regrets will bring a new perspective, including regrets from previous incarnations.

Even when I've helped people to get past the fear, there were some who still didn't live the life they deserve. The reason is they're living in regret about something either in this incarnation or previous incarnations.

"Shoulda done this sooner."

"Woulda done this differently."

"Coulda done this better."

What are your shoulda, woulda, coulda regrets?

When you hear those words in your head or you say them out loud, you're living in regret. Dwelling in it means you are holding yourself back from the brightness in your life that wants to shine through.

It's like closing the blinds on the beautiful sunshine, while you lament missing today's sunrise.

Regret keeps you living in the past. It stops you from standing in your full power at the moment.

This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life. You have the power to make new choices. And you deserve to have all the opportunities those new choices will bring.

When you find yourself living in regret, recognize it as an opportunity to take action and make a different decision, so that the next moment brings you closer to the health, wealth and opportunities you desire and deserve.

Three tips to eliminate the shoulda, woulda, coulda:

Ask yourself if this is reality or an emotional response. Both are equally valid and important to access. If it's reality, examine the situation and consider each step you took on the path that brought you to this regret. How can you avoid taking the same steps in the future? If it's emotional, dig in and figure out which emotions are being triggered and how they are impacting you.

Ask someone to help you find a new perspective. When you are in the middle of a tough situation, particularly an emotional one, it's difficult to see other options. Napoleon Hill said, "Out of every adversity comes a seed of equal or greater benefit." When you're standing in front of a tree with your nose against the bark, you can't see anything else. If you have someone who can pull you back, only a little bit, a new perspective will reveal a whole forest of possibilities.

Take action. Once you have uncovered your regret, how you got there and what's driving the emotion that's causing you pain; and you have a new perspective that allows you to make a new choice in your life; it's time to take action. What steps can you take to turn the adversity of regret into your seed of greater benefit? Outline your steps and then take that first one!

When you take the steps above to turn your regret into positive action, you will start living a bigger and bolder life. That means you will face change, which can be uncomfortable for a while. However, in the final analysis it is well worth the effort.

This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life.

Are you willing to take the steps required to claim your happiness, success, fulfillment, and empowerment? Will you take advantage of the opportunity to create a new reality for your life?

It's time to SHIFT and get prepared for what's coming up for your life... so I want you to put your heart and soul into paying close attention to how much mental, emotional and physical pain you are in. Then, step by step you can make the transformation gently, easily, and without having to deal with the mental and emotional pain and stress of not knowing what to do, not feeling your best, and all the other OLD WAYS that are holding you back. You might need to ask for assistance to clear out the self-doubt, fear, guilt, shame or unworthiness.

This is an investment in your health, happiness, success, fulfillment, and empowerment. Following the principles in this process will change your life forever and I want you to experience it yourself as soon as possible. Remember only you can take care of your happiness and mental, emotional, physical health and professional success.

You can do it! Call me if you need assistance to transmute any symptoms no matter how dire, how long you have struggled or other things you have done.

Henry Ford, who created the Model T automobile in 1908 and went on to develop the assembly line mode of production, which revolutionized the automotive industry stated, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't you are right."

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Live-Your-Full-Potential-Every-Day&id=10268227

Love Is Forever (By Kathy Wilson)

My magical cat, Silver, came to me in a dream. And then he brought Jezibel to me.

When my previous cat, Miss Winters, had transitioned I grieved deeply. Friends kept calling me to tell me they knew of a cat that needed a home, but I knew I wasn't ready for another one. Had I taken on another cat before I was done grieving for Winter I would have been comparing the new cat to her. That just wouldn't be fair to the new cat.

A couple of years after Winter had died, I had a dream about a gray cat. It was as if I was laying on the floor and the cat was walking toward me. That's it. About 15 seconds of a dream, but it stayed with me all that day and the next.

Three days after the gray cat dream, a woman I knew who worked at my vet's office called me. "We have a cat in here from the shelter who's ready to be adopted and I think you should take a look at him. His name is Silver Cloud."

When she said his name I was stunned. My first thought was, "He's here already! The gray cat in my dream is here... and I don't even have any cat food or a litter box!" I made arrangements to come look at him the next day.

On my way to the vet's office I stopped to pick up a friend who wanted to go with me and see this dream cat I'd told her about. When we arrived at the vet's office, we went in and were taken to a room with huge cages. The vet's assistant pulled Silver out of one cage and gave him to me to hold. He was so excited he could hardly hold still, and kept moving from my left shoulder to my right and back again and then he'd flop backwards and look at me, almost as if he couldn't believe I was really there.

As this was going on, my friend was telling the vet and her assistant about a little black female cat she'd had but gave up because she got married and her husband hated cats. She still missed the cat deeply. The vet's assistant turned and pulled a little black cat out of another cage and handed her to my friend, probably hoping she'd fall in love with the cat and adopt it.

Before anyone could say a word, Silver spotted the little girl cat, threw himself backwards in my arms, stretched his arm out and around the little girl cat's neck and drew her toward him. He began licking her face as if he was plastering kisses all over her.

Both the vet and her assistant were stunned. "Those two cats have never seen each other," the vet finally said.

We watched the love fest for a while and finally I told them I'd take Silver and would be back the next day to pick him up, after I'd gotten cat food and other essentials.

The next day I arrived to pick up the cat of my dream, but I had a surprise coming. "We let Silver and Jezibel, the little black girl cat, stay out of their cages in the room and they played together, ate together, slept together, and basically were unseparable... and you have to take both of them," the vet announced.

"No. I only want one cat," I replied.

Well, this discussion went on for a while until finally she said, "You take both of them or you'll not get Silver. I won't even charge you for Jezibel."

And that's how I ended up with two cats.

It's been fifteen years since that day and every day I've been so grateful that the vet made me take both cats. They have loved each other as much every day since as they did that first day. They still sleep near or next to each other, eat together, have lick fests, and basically just love the dickens out of each other.

Or they did, until yesterday. Recently, Jezibel had been getting weaker, eating less and less, and beginning to have difficulty breathing. It soon got so bad that she couldn't walk across the room without having to stop to catch her breath. So I took her to the vet yesterday and the determination was that she had a tumor which was causing fluid to overfill the area around her heart and lungs, making it difficult for her to breathe. There was nothing that could be done to make her better. So my husband and I made the most difficult decision to allow the vet to put her to sleep.

I'm so very sad that I won't be able to enjoy Jezibel and the special connection we had. Still, I'm grateful that I was allowed to enjoy her for so many years. And I'm even more grateful that I could witness the deep, abiding love that she and Silver had for one another.

I believe that Silver and she had a communication toward the last about her leaving this plane. At one point he just sat next to her quietly while they looked into each other's eyes. He's not seeming to miss her - not looking for her or anything like that. I believe that when beloved pets transition, their spirit remains for a period of time. It's almost as if the pet wants to continue sharing their love for a while to help those left behind adjust to their loss. I think that Silver senses her spirit is still here... and so do I.

Remember... love is forever

As I was writing this article I was reminded of another one I wrote years ago after a dear friend had died. One day I was talking with a wise friend about my reaction and deep grief to my other friend's death. I mused upon the fact that either we're coming from love or from fear, and since this grief didn't feel like love, it must be fear of some kind. But fear of what?

She didn't disappoint and instantly gave me the wisdom I was looking for. "Grief," she said, "is the fear of lack of love."

Makes perfect sense. When someone, or some thing such as a dear pet that we love, dies then we fear that the love we shared with them dies, too. But here's the truth: Once energy is created it exists for eternity. Love, like all emotions, is energy. This means that when you lose someone or something you loved, the energy of that love still exists. And you can tap into it any time you want so you can enjoy it again.

It's easy. All you have to do is remember an instance or event with that person or thing that created the feeling of love within you. And you'll feel it again in an instant, whenever you want. And the best part is that you can never, ever lose a memory that creates the energy of love for you.

So if you feel yourself beginning to sink into the sadness of grief, remember that it's a signal to you that you're afraid you've lost love. Know that you can never lose love because it's eternal. And then recall a moment or an experience that brought you the feeling of love. As you do so, you'll feel that love energy once again.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Love-Is-Forever&id=10444438

What Lurks Beneath Misunderstood Emotions

Almost nothing can be more frustrating than the inability to understand a spouse, relative, friend or coworker, especially when they are important in your life. Frustration frequently becomes anger and finally a distancing from someone you once believed was genuinely important. When relationships dissolve into these kinds of dynamics you are constantly seeking solutions. What's causing this confusion; how can you understand or alter the course of a relationship that feels impossible?

Every time you encounter a deep emotional response take a moment to look beneath the obvious.

When anything stirs another person profoundly some event in their life has left a deep memory imprint; there is often a pattern to this. A vast variety of events can affect us deeply. Focus in on whether particular holidays or seasons evoke extraordinary emotions. If so, some event has caused an inability to trust that they will feel safe or loved during these times. A profound loss may have occurred leaving the inability to experience the season or holiday without a painful memory surfacing.

When a particular statement or presentation of something evokes anger or rage look for the fear behind what is being presented. Fear is the mask anger wears. The greater the rage displayed the deeper the fear that lies beneath the issue. Rather than walking away or becoming absorbed in the moment, try calmly asking questions about what they believe is making them angry. Establishing what the real fear is will allow you to help them rationally confront their fear and may pave a much smoother way forward.

When you encounter an unacceptable response about something that is really important to you it's time to ask questions, sincere questions without emotion. Why are they so fixed in their opinion? Why is the issue so important to them that they are unable to step away and look objectively? When you learn why something is so important to another person you are able to adopt a more neutral position or alter your own. Understanding why someone feels so deeply can help bridge a gap and allow a peaceful solution to emerge.

Finally, there are times in our lives when we discover we are wearing rose-colored glasses with a large crack in them. You may have to accept that you are expecting more than another person is willing or able to give. You may even learn that your relationship is not nearly as important to them as it is to you. When this happens you may be forced to accept that this person can or will not ever support you, even when it's important to you. If you arrive at this point it is time to stop questioning the other person and begin questioning yourself.

No person or relationship is worth the price of becoming a human doormat or whipping post. It becomes essential to set boundaries that will allow you to grow and follow your own life path. If you are encountering these emotions with a relative or important coworker look for a safe place in the relationship that will allow you to maintain the essentials while leaving you the opportunity to escape scathing criticism or any other emotion that may deplete your energy or desire to be more, to dream your own dream. If this is coming from a friend, partner or spouse it may be time to assess whether the relationship can ever be what you hoped it would. If the answer is no it may be time to disconnect and move forward on a different path with other people.

Before you make a final decision, it is worth making the effort of listening, asking questions and looking for middle ground that may be a bridge you can both cross to meet at a point both can accept. After all, you were always seeking a solution; doing so may lead to a lasting one.

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Lurks-Beneath-Misunderstood-Emotions&id=10020716

Uprooting Fear and Planting Love

As you gain the habit of recognizing how love and fear in all forms and to all degrees show themselves to you in your life, you're building the foundation for the next step of your personal evolution. You'll then be able to consciously choose which you wish to experience, to what degree, and when.

It may seem ridiculous that anyone would consciously choose to experience any form of fear. However, there are times when it is desirable in order to broaden one's knowledge about fear and its effect on aspects such as one's health or a current situation. There is much value in the knowledge to be gained when learning about fear.

Fear is not to be avoided, but is instead to be welcomed as an opportunity to learn. Avoidance of fear won't make it go away. On the contrary, avoidance of fear only makes it grow.

An old farmer once taught me a lesson about fear and how to get rid of it. Using Tansy Ragwort, which is poisonous to grazing animals such as the horses I had at the time, as an example he said that cutting it down only makes the plant stronger. It grows back even larger - or meaner, as he put it. He said that the only way to get rid of Tansy is to pull it out by the roots.

Fear is like Tansy Ragwort in that respect. Avoiding fear is like cutting the Tansy down, which is a temporary solution at best and only results in making it stronger, or "meaner", when it returns. The only way to make a fear go away is by pulling the entire issue up by the roots. Once you have it completely uprooted, you can examine it, revealing the learning it offers you. It then becomes a powerful tool for you to use in creating that which you desire.

Once the learning is accomplished, the next step is to welcome the love that replaces the fear, for love will always do so. When fear is released, love fills the hole that the roots of fear left when it was uprooted.

Again, the challenge is to recognize the love, just as you learned to recognize the fear. It may come in the form of compassion, forgiveness, joy, or any one of the gazillions of forms of love.

This is why it is of vital importance to learn how to recognize both love and fear. This is not always easy, so here's one method to make it easier: make a list. Lists, mind maps, treasure maps, and other such tools serve to remind you and support you in consciously being aware of what you want to attract or manifest.

You'll need two sheets of paper, one each for Love and for Fear. Begin with the list of fears, for two reasons - because it's easier for us to recognize fear and because ending up with the love list is like eating your veggies first (fear) and then enjoying dessert (love) afterward. A delicious reward!

When you've listed as many forms of each as you can, post the lists where you'll see them often. By your desk, for example. Add to the lists as you begin to notice more ways you recognize love and fear.

Each time you witness an example of love or sense it within yourself, stop for a moment and acknowledge it. The same goes for fear. Whenever you hear words of fear or see an act of fear coming from yourself or others, acknowledge it silently to yourself. In both cases, congratulate yourself on become more aware of how many ways you notice both love and fear in your life. As you do so, you ready yourself for the next step: transforming fear into love.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Uprooting-Fear-and-Planting-Love&id=10420145

Fanning the Flames (By Chris Penlington)

I'm driving into work. As the traffic slows approaching a junction, a car pulls suddenly into my lane in front of me, requiring me to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting it. I blast the car horn. The young driver and his friend make rude signs with their hands and screech away laughing.

Halfway through the work day I am still running this scenario through my mind and thinking of all the ways in which I might have liked to respond. Might still like to respond if given the opportunity.

The incident itself was undoubtedly unpleasant and difficult for me. Despite having done nothing wrong I was put in danger by the insensitive driving style of another driver, only to suffer what felt like a further injustice when they reacted as they did. I could not have done much to change my automatic reactions at the time of fear, anger and a sense of injustice. Yet the incident happened once. In the hours that followed, I have recreated this same incident in my mind many more times, each time reconnecting with the original feelings. If, by lunchtime I am feeling tense, angry, frustrated and violated, who can I hold responsible for this? The young driver with the insensitive driving style? Or my own mind, which has replayed this difficult situation again and again, in glorious technicolour and with added commentary all through the morning?

It's interesting to note that one feature of the human mind is that it does not always make a distinction between what is happening in real time and memories that we are replaying. A memory can trigger the same emotions and responses as if we were actually going through that same situation again. So as I run through this situation in my mind over and over, I am subjecting myself to the same anger, fear and sense of unfairness that were triggered by the events at the beginning of the day. Does this do me any good? No, it doesn't.

It is easy to become caught in patterns like this. The feelings that are generated are highly threatening, and demand a response. Unless we actively choose otherwise, our minds will turn to automatic pilot running and re-running the memory in problem-solving mode until we find an acceptable solution. Except of course in this, as in many situations, we are not going to find an acceptable solution. Which means that the urge to re-run the events in our mind is not going to be naturally switched off any time soon. Which means that the feelings of fear, anger and having been treated unfairly will remain pretty strong and probably influence our other interactions during the day.

Even if I recognise that my thoughts are not helping me, it can be tricky to stop.

One thing that won't help is to give myself a hard time and tell myself to stop thinking like this. Fighting against how we think or feel is almost always counterproductive.

So how can I stop it? How can I help myself to cope when things like this happen? It's not easy, but mindfulness training does give us some helpful possibilities.

I might tell myself that there is something more important I want to focus on right now. Then, whenever I notice that my mind has started to drift away from what I now want to focus on, I can simply gently guide my attention back to where I want it to be.

I might recognise that it is hard for me to feel the way that I do. Since when things are hard we all need to be able to connect with kindness to help us through, I might try to be kind to myself in some small way, maybe with calming self-talk, some relaxed breathing or a small treat.

I might take a little time to focus in on the body and gently pay attention to the physical feelings that come with the sense of anger and frustration. By dropping the storyline and focusing in on my tight chest and clenched jaw I can more helpfully direct my attention towards looking after myself in the moment rather than pulling myself with thinking back into the past.

With practice I notice sooner when I am being pulled into unhelpful patterns of responding in my mind after difficult experiences. I am beginning to sometimes make wiser choices which can help me to move forward in my life. And even when I haven't made these wise choices for some time, I am learning to bring kindness to the experience and just do the best I can.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Fanning-the-Flames&id=9551623

Turn Your Fear Into a Path to Your Strength and Recharge Your Time

Finding time to work with difficult feelings like fear can ultimately recharge your energy and confidence.

And the good news is that it doesn't need to eat up a lot of your time to get there.

Indeed, as you develop the habit of looking your difficult feelings right in the eye, you'll find that it's a big time-saver and energy boost for you. You'll experience the added bonus of exercising a lot more positive, proactive control over your time, too, because you'll stop taking the long way around things as an avoidance tactic.

We'll focus specifically on fear in this post - remembering that as you work with this, you can substitute any feeling that is difficult for you.

Start here...

So, to start, here's a useful mantra. Repeat this to yourself as you begin this empowering journey: "I turn my fear into a path to my strength."

Maybe in the past, you've tried to hide your fear from sight. In fact, maybe you go so far as to deny your feelings to yourself. You would rather not think of yourself as indecisive or uncommitted.

That's a natural-enough feeling, but it's one that actually reinforces your fears and will keep you firmly stuck in them.

There's a far more productive way to approach your fears: consciously reframe them as challenges that will call you to develop new and exciting strengths! This puts them in a positive context, and, even more importantly, places you in a proactive (rather than a reactive) stance toward them. Right there you are taking back your power and putting yourself in charge.

That changes everything!

So, the next time you feel fear about saying no, don't push that fear away. Greet it as a friend with important information to share.

3 Questions

Here are 3 questions you can ask, as you pursue a deeper understanding of your fear. Ask yourself:

How can I turn this fear inside out? (Reframe it as an opportunity.)

What lesson have I been trying to avoid? (Embracing it will ground and empower you.)

How will I reinvent myself once I say no? (The assertiveness you develop will expand your potential.)

Let your imagination roam freely as you work these questions - the answers you receive may surprise you - and I'd love to hear your experience as you make this empowering journey!

So... are you inspired to find even more time and increase your effectiveness, efficiency and enjoyment?

https://ezinearticles.com/?Turn-Your-Fear-Into-a-Path-to-Your-Strength-and-Recharge-Your-Time&id=10051391

Why Do You Fear the Unknown? Motivating Yourself to Work Through Fears

Do you fear to step out of your comfort zone? Why? Why not be adventuresome and follow your dreams? Life is much more fulfilling that way. How can you motivate yourself to work through fears?

The first step to stop fearing the unknown would be to tell yourself that you do not have to know everything and you can figure it out in the long run.

Once you have clarified the first step, your next step is to start moving forward. This can be about dreaming those dreams that you always had but never felt bold enough to make the change. It would be about making a choice what the things are that you really want in life and where to go to achieve what you want. In short, you must have a plan how to act on your dreams and how to bring them to fruition in real life.

Once you have a plan ready, you are ready to take action. In doing these action steps, fear may arise again about taking new steps or some degree of risk. Read a lot of self-help books, rags to riches success stories and about the history of great people.

Understand that none of these awesome people accelerated to great heights without believing that something inside them was far more superior to external circumstances. They took calculative risks to make their dreams happen and be financially free. You too can follow their footprints in the sands of time and earn whatever you want.

It is also wise at this point to get in touch with a coach, counselor or mentor with whom you can reach by phone or chat virtually. You speak about your fears and about what you find daunting at the current stage. Talking or chatting diminishes your fears and you can still carry on.

You can also call up a family member or close friend to inform them of your progress so far and tell them what it is that is bothering you at this point. The suggestions they give may help you and the words of comfort they utter may appease and calm you down.

It may happen that the directions you take to reach your destination may not be feasible so that you may need to detour several times until you take the right path to your destination. So don't be disheartened and give up on your dreams. Keep your antenna up and feed your stamina by taking the right amount of meals and having enough sleep at night.

Having done that, when you reach your destination, you still have a few more steps according to your plan to make your dreams come true. So act on them and take all the action steps until you finally realize yes, you have made it and who knows, you may even rise to stardom.

So the more dedicated and committed you are to your dream plan, the faster and easier you realize your dreams and say to yourself - yes, this is the kind of life I yearned for. This is the life I have always desired. Yes, I have realized it with flying colors; nothing else could have been more satisfying!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Do-You-Fear-the-Unknown?-Motivating-Yourself-to-Work-Through-Fears&id=10153872

You've Got To Stop Living In The Place Of Fear And Doubt

Be Careful What You Give Your Attention To

Fear and doubt are like uninvited guests, who show up for the night and overstay their welcome. They have nothing to impart other than a distorted reality. We fear what we don't understand and then doubt ourselves. This steals away the preciousness of the present moment because we succumb to a fictitious reality. Have you experienced something like this, whereby fear and doubt convinced you of something that wasn't true? You wouldn't be wrong in succumbing to this scenario because they collaborate to pull us into a pit of despair.

But it needn't be this way, since we can choose to see things differently. For example, when the Coronavirus pandemic started, there was a lot of fear and negativity perpetuated by the mainstream media. They hijack our attention by reporting bits and pieces of the actual story. I immediately turned my attention to the health professionals, such as infectious disease experts, epidemiologists, virologists and senior health experts. As time went on, I was reassured that what the media was depicting was not reality but a false narrative to sell a story. I'm not suggesting the virus is anything to ignore, but we must be careful what we give our attention to because it may not be serving our best interests.

Think about the areas of your life where fear and doubt have gained a foothold? Perhaps it is your relationships, finances, career, your dreams and highest ambitions? If I asked you to journal the narrative fear and doubt promote, what would you write? Is it lack of choice? Self worthiness or self-esteem? It's important we understand what we're up against, so we can deal with it effectively. To overcome fear and doubt, we must first understand how they operate in our life. They try to undermine us, like a virus weaving its way through our thoughts. Either way, we must confront our limiting beliefs and analyse them for what they are; an unrealistic plan to sabotage us.

We've Got To Show Up Fully For Our Dreams

Fear and doubt offer nothing in return, other than to steal our joy and happiness. In contrast, confidence and encouragement are allies that work together to support our goals. We ought to sow the seeds of these virtues in our psyche and extract fear and doubt from our minds. Fear is the enemy of confidence because it tries to convince us of an unfavourable future. However, confidence moves towards tomorrow armed with conviction to achieve excellence. This doesn't mean we must eradicate fear from our lives but acknowledge it for what it is. As the self-help author Susan Jeffers once wrote: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.

That is, we walk towards our fears and take inspired action, regardless. Because every time we overcome fear, we silence our doubts and lay to rest the hijackers of tomorrow. Fear and doubt will try to steal our best laid plans. But it is not enough to ignore them, we must face them directly and change the narrative they promote. Consider this in your own life. What have you overcome in recent times that fear and doubt tried to sell you? Perhaps it was entering a new relationship, starting your own business, or leaving a lucrative career? Sometimes fear and doubt can show up as an unwanted gift, presented by those we love. Family and friends will convince us not to change careers or get intimately involved with that person because they are no good for us.

But this is like asking those who've never been where you're going for directions. You assume because they are wiser, they hold the answers, but they may not be the answers for you. So, question everything and test it for yourself, to see whether it will work for you. It is better to make a hundred mistakes on your own, than live inauthentically based on other people's opinions. We've got to show up for our dreams and command them fully, irrespective of what others think. It requires moving through our fears and doubts, which accompanying us on this journey of life. Because when we reach our ultimate destination, we will have overcome these mountainous hurdles through hard work and perseverance.

Knowing this, I invite you to make time to examine areas of your life where fear and doubt have infiltrated. What is the message they're trying to sell you? Is it real? Can you be sure that fear and doubt is real? What do you want for your life? Write down two columns and examine your fears and doubts on one side and your vision and purpose on the other. After you've explored each area, sit with your feelings and note which area you are leaning towards? Do you want to be an 80-year-old who was allowed their fears and doubts to overcome them, or do you want to be an 80-year-old who has lived the best version of their life? Either way, you get to decide the storyline for your life, so make it a remarkable one!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Youve-Got-To-Stop-Living-In-The-Place-Of-Fear-And-Doubt&id=10313095

Fear, Get Out!

"The plague took about five thousand as promised, fear took millions and billions through paranoia." There is a lot I do get, and a lot that I do not get. When panic sets in for many, I get that. So, here is the nature of survival in a nut shell or short, simple format: Courage. If we face life with it, we are better off, even if we do die or whatever may happen bad or good (in that order). Even Viktor Frankl said that one with his Logotherapy trainings, as well as most self-development people, speakers and all of that.

So, I really start this article with a corollary saying: "Courage makes survivors ultimately." I understand that courage comes from genuinely and soberly understanding what needs and wants (in that order) to be faced in life and existence, not avoiding it in a paranoid or blindly fearful way. Paranoid preparation without full understanding is the ultimate "castle in the sand that washes to the sea" to speak in the terms of old Jimi Hendrix songs that make too much sense to the left or rational brain of a human being. What I mean is, paranoia and fear ultimately accomplish nothing but lessening chances of rational survival and actually increasing the chances of irrational death.

Here is what I mean by the above increase of the chances of irrational death: In the senseless rush and survival panic, you ultimately in that panic end up "a sheep going blindly off the cliff with the other sheep". My point is, think for moment and do not follow the crowd of people in a panic. Sure, I could make it more complex and fearful. What is the point to that? We have to think for ourselves creatively and courageously if we want to survive genuinely and rationally. What is the whole point of Viktor Frankl, Adam Smith (A genuine supply and demand rational economist) and Ayn Rand philosophies other than this fact anyway if you read everything they write. Plato, Immanuel Kant, John Maynard Keynes and the hereafter are not factors for the here and now, they basically say "In the long run we are all dead, and we will be herded into the hereafter anyway, so forget the here and now." Some may say a fearful "Yeah, right!?" or "No!" Know the reality though, if we want to rationally survive, reality has to be considered always in a rationally creative way, we cannot follow the crowd, the herd or fear reality and recoil at it all. We must rationally look at the facts and then act on them always. So, I end with a simple Thomas Paine quote that is also a title of a treatise he wrote: "Common sense".

https://ezinearticles.com/?Fear,-Get-Out!&id=10266245

Creative Choices Curtail Challenges!

What are you most afraid of? What is your greatest desire? Most often these two emotional experiences go hand in hand.

That thing of your utmost yearning is being thwarted by your greatest fear. And fear is truly False Evidence Appearing Real! As you will read in the coming weeks, I often make reference to FEAR, because it is such a powerful force limiting the human potential of so many people. But do not be dismayed, the reference only serves to communicate tips, tools and techniques to empower your inner Conqueror! For example, ONE incredible tool I've found to combat uncertainty, anxiety and fear is creativity!

So how does one go about overcoming, overtaking our fears and choosing Creativity? Let's begin with daily habits. What were your rituals when you rose today? What about yesterday morning? And the day before that? There's a pretty good chance that your daily activities, routine will indicate the source of your fears. Your routine, and we all have them, is the repeated and duplicated behavior that creates your circumstances, situations and life. We are what we repeatedly do and that routine has become the comfort zone.

The basis of instincts is to desire comfort, the familiar... you know the true blue that which can be counted on! However to outdistance challenges, overtake hurdles and leap out of pitfalls comfortable won't do. A new perspective is required. Do you happen to remember the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over, looking for a different result. Creativity requires the introduction of NEW information into your current database of knowledge to spark NEW ideas, insights and inspirations.

Recall the daily habits discussion earlier? Well, there are so many opportunities for you to introduce NEW information into your mental database. Here are a few suggestions for as short as 5-10 minutes or as long as you'd like. I recommend starting slow 5-10 minutes for 30 days to establish the habit then increasing. The goal is to BEGIN incorporating innovative information that gives you a fresh perspective propelling you into your possibilities!

Think about beginning your day in Gratitude Journaling. Do you exercise, have a long commute? Listen to a personal/professional development podcast. Watch an informative YouTube or participate in a guided meditation. Read a book of interest. The essential takeaway is that you embrace doing something different to ignite your inventive and creative nature. And like all NEW things, it will take time to adopt a new habit. Repetition is your indicator to once again introduce something new into the mix. SUCCESS will require becoming comfortable being uncomfortable to stay cutting edge!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Creative-Choices-Curtail-Challenges!&id=9110030

Stand Against Fear

Journalists know that "what leads - bleeds". People read newspapers and listen to news when there are exciting - not boring - things happening. Twenty-four-hour internet and television broadcasts can throw you into a world of crisis very easily so you need to be careful.

Recently, we have been hearing about the presence and pandemic possibilities of the corona virus. Now I am not ignoring the fact that we are facing a problem but, at the same time, I have lived through eras of measle outbreaks, tuberculosis and polio so I tend to believe in the expression my grandmother used to say. This too shall pass.

In the meantime, how can we latch onto wisdom when we are facing fear:

1. Be prepared - Canadian and United States panels who have been interviewed about tactics for the population have recommended several things. One is to have a store of food and medications on hand including those that have been prescribed as well as cough syrups and fever reducers. Frozen, canned and dried products are safe for long periods of time so you can invest in some inventory.
2. Learn new skills - Think about ways that you can stretch your time and dollars with simple recipes, meal plans and learning ways to do repairs.
3. Use common sense - Exposing yourself to possible dangers is just foolish. I often wonder what hikers who illegally enter communist countries were thinking. Try to avoid being around individuals who are infected. Disinfect areas that could be germ collectors.
4. Follow proven health practices - There is medical evidence that supports washing your hands for twenty seconds with soap and warm water as the best defense against germs. One of the clients told me that singing the "Happy Birthday to you" song takes approximately twenty seconds and can be used as a timing device when washing.
5. Consider your options - Do you want to increase risk by flying or being in environments where there are large groups of people? Should you go to work when you are sick knowing that you are increasing the possibility of becoming sicker or infecting others? Is it wise to sit in a hospital Emergency Room or crowded waiting room to see a physician? There aren't enough testing kits or any corona vaccine yet so you will likely be told to go home, drink fluids, rest and treat your fever with an over-the-counter medication.
6. Know when and how to seek help - Stay informed. Health Link, documents written by medical professionals and media interviews of professionals will help to define the symptoms of concern and the best strategies to deal with them.
7. Make good financial choices - You or a family member may need to miss work and lose income. Now is the time to curb unnecessary spending and ensure that your finances are in order.
8. Respect others - Avoid shaking hands, coughing on others and going into public if you are sick.

I am not a medical doctor, but I have worked with people who can be either impulsive or immobilized by fear. There isn't any guarantee that you will become sick or avoid illness. You can, however, use the points above to help you make good choices and gain some control.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Stand-Against-Fear&id=10263839

Conquering Your Fears One Day at a Time

Fear is very powerful. It affects everyone from time to time. Doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, even if you are the most successful person on this planet.

Fear can be both good and bad.

It can be good in the sense that sometimes it allows us to escape from harm.

On the other hand, fear can be bad for us in the sense that it may prevent us from pursuing what we truly desire in life.

Some examples of this include: talking to an attractive woman for the first time, starting a new business, climbing a mountain, and so on and so forth.

Getting over our fears is necessary in order to pursue the things we want to accomplish in our lives.

The way a person engages fear determines how successful that person can be throughout their life.

If a person let's fear take over when he wants to pursue a beneficial opportunity, he will be unable to even start his pursuit.

However, if a person faces her fear and pushes through it, this fear will start to become less and less powerful.

She will be considered a courageous person and will naturally increase the amount of self-confidence and success in her life.

Fear of failure is the one of the most common fears we face from day to day, but exercising courage can help us to break down this fear.

Lesson of the day:

Find something you truly want to accomplish in your life right now, something that you are afraid to do, but if you are successful, will be able to reap many personal and maybe even financial rewards.

Pursue this opportunity, despite the fear you feel and put it in the back of your mind that you don't care about being successful in the short term, because you are just gaining experience in this field.

This will take off a lot of pressure from your mind and will allow you to enjoy the experience, while building your skill set, increasing your chances of becoming successful in the future.

Also, if whatever you want to pursue requires financial stability and/or more preparation, then by all means take care of that first.

Otherwise, you will have a bad start and might even be worse off than before. Strike a balance between preparation and pursuing the opportunity in order to become successful later down the road.

I hope you all enjoyed today's post and hope you will join me on the journey to self-confidence mastery!

Cheers!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Conquering-Your-Fears-One-Day-at-a-Time&id=9503464

Letting Go Of The Fear And Trusting Again After A Serious Heartbreak

At some point of our lives, we experience hurt that we fear to trust again. Our fear of betrayal. Take baby steps day by day to become open and trusting within the very little things. The more we think over our past heartbreak, the more it lingers in our hearts. But if we just let it go naturally, our pain will heal naturally and will barely leave a scar.

We trust somebody in terms of perceiving that in spite of appearance they're decent persons with good intentions and with integrity. However, look can be very deceiving. Our previous experience affect our current relationship if we let our negative experiences destroy our reserve until such time when we become open enough to be vulnerable and trust once more.

We appreciate that every now and then things are going to be powerful. That's life and that we are going to be tested. However, keep in mind that our emotional heartbreak is not the end of the world. We need to let go of the past and move on forward. Our past won't define our future. It does not mean that if we are hurt in the past, we will also have a similar experience in the future. In other words, we've been hurt once doesn't mean that it's likely to happen once more.

What you pay most of it slow wondering becomes your reality... the very fact that it's laborious to trust someone? If it keeps happening to you, stop and reflect where did you go wrong, Love yourself foremost. When we love ourselves, it begets love. Knowing that no matter what happens we need to bounce back from our failures. That what resilient people do.

Yes, in fact we're invariably stricken by rejection because it happens as a part of life. We have a tendency to didn't get what we wished. But what's important, to learn from that negative experience to prevent us falling taken with once more.

Use rejection as a springboard to search out more about yourself, what you learned, why you are feeling the method you are doing, what you're permitting to urge within the method, wherever you're maybe sabotaging yourself. Use it to explore your values and what you actually wish in life.

Learning to trust somebody once more once is very troublesome... however, it's not possible.Your past doesn't equal your future. I learned this idea from the people I met in my field of work from different walks of life. It's not because we've been hurt within the past doesn't suggest we will get hurt once more.

So, let go of your fears and start trusting once more. This is actually the key to make a relationship work. No two people are the same. Just trust in your own judgment. However, if you retain distrusting yourself, you may keep distrusting others, that creates a positive feedback.

Part of building your confidence is to seem once yourself and understand that simply because you understand that somebody has done one thing nasty to you, you'll be okay. You'll cope on your own.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Letting-Go-Of-The-Fear-And-Trusting-Again-After-A-Serious-Heartbreak&id=9992831

Depression Is NOT "Laziness," It's Your Ignorance and Arrogance That's Lazy

Many non-fident people will be familiar with depression. In fact, you could very well say that confidence and self-esteem are pretty safe antidotes for depression. - And vice versa.

When we're depressed, we have little faith in our abilities and our future. In our purpose, our entire existence, our very worth as human beings. Depression in its worst forms can be one of the most debilitating non-lethal illnesses ever known to mankind. In fact, according to the WHO, depression will account for "the highest level of disability accorded any physical or mental disorder in the world" by 2030.*

(And I say "non-lethal". Because in the case of suicidal depression, it's technically not the disease itself that kills you.)

And then, some ignorant, self-righteous idiot starts claiming that it's all about "being lazy", "pulling yourself together", and "if I can, so can you". And then, I involuntarily grind my teeth and clench my fists.

As if depression was simply a matter of being "lazy". I mean, how dare these people?!

As if anyone who, remarkably enough, knows absolutely nothing about depression, were even remotely qualified to have an opinion on the matter. -- Much less write the whole thing off as "laziness".

Seriously, if you've ever thought someone suffering from depression was simply being lazy, up yours. Your point of view is not only objectively wrong and twisted, it's insulting and harmful. The end, period.

In fact, I think it's about time we put the very idea of "laziness" to scrutiny. Because what I've found is that, when there's someone we might consider "lazy", there's really all other kinds of stuff going on underneath that perceived laziness.

There's fear. Insecurity. Barriers. There is analysis paralysis. These things tend to manifest as procrastination, inactivity, isolation, and defensiveness.

... But they're NOT "laziness".

And no, not even procrastination. It's all based in fear; it's all driven by fear.

Insecurity is basically fear. We perceive barriers out of fear. We over-think, second-guess and go into analysis paralysis out of fear. The most primal human feeling, (apart from the conglomerate of physical attraction, survival instinct and dopamine-induced emotions that we call love), is fear.

... NOT "laziness".

- "Okay, so now there's no lazy people anymore? What if the name is there for a reason?"

Well, everything's here for a myriad of reasons. But just because every ol' man-made notion or idea is here for a reason doesn't make it true.

Our ancestors used to think the solar system was geocentric. Yeah, wrong answer.

It's not that I'm writing off the idea that someone can be lazy. But psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors and mental therapists have long since built an entire bulletproof framework around the concept of depression. By working with people suffering from depression and low confidence/self-esteem.

-- Just like astronomers have long since discovered that our solar system is heliocentric.

Depression is real; it's medically proven; and it's not laziness. On the contrary, the only thing that's remotely lazy in this context is the ignorance and arrogant attitude of anyone who claims that depressed people are simply being "lazy".

https://ezinearticles.com/?Depression-Is-NOT-Laziness,-Its-Your-Ignorance-and-Arrogance-Thats-Lazy&id=9733338

Why Self-Esteem Is Important for a Model

We talk about how modeling can help to boost one's self-esteem and at the same time what you can do to come out of the shell of insecurity and fear.

When you Start Getting Jobs

Everything seems like a scam and an evil plot against you, until your modeling agency helps you to start acquiring jobs. Your confidence skyrockets when the jobs are acquired with credible clients and even more so when they are jobs that suit your interests and likes. Modeling is an incredibly powerful form of work that can creates confidence in your look and skin that few other jobs or careers can.

Beyond getting paid for your work, you also get your work published and advertised through publications, and mass media channels such as Television on Print advertisements. This means you gather acknowledgements and you thus feeling good in your skin as well.

Modeling Can Play Tricks with your Mind

When you see other models around you, you may start to wonder, am I supposed to be that thin? Should I have literally zero body fat in order to be considered a model? Well if you were supposed to be as thin as a stick your modeling agency wouldn't have accepted you for their work in the first place. If they do want you to change your weight in a drastic manner all you have to do is simply say no and find another modeling agency. Do not take advice from your imagination, or from extreme people. Be in a lean and fit body and only work in jobs that suit your natural size and body. That will give you the utmost career and mental satisfaction you need.

Exercise Right, Sleep Right, Eat Right, and Live Right

Drop the pills and ills. What you need is natural and organic methods to keep your beauty and health in check. Don't fall prey to consumerist schemes and certainly never resort to extreme measures such as starving yourself. Thin does not equal beautiful. You must be in your natural body size that suits you and your look, and most of the times that is obtained simply by regular exercise and eating proper food and avoiding fast and fried food.

Modeling agencies these days are interested in a vibrant personality and a healthy look that is marketable, not a pale looking stick figure. Do away with misconceptions and prioritize your health above anything else!

Modeling is thus a double-edged sword that can be employed to your benefit or destruction. Adopt the right mentality and you will shine, failing to do so can make it a job that kills your self-esteem. Else you're on Victoria's Secret, your aim should first to look good in your god-given body, and progress in your looks slowly and steadily with due respect to your physical and mental health.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Self-Esteem-Is-Important-for-a-Model&id=9635259

Putting Your Creativity to Work for You

Your creativity is an awesome tool. It can allow you approach your business in a unique way that's energy-revving.

At times, though, your creativity can lead you astray and really drain you.

I once attended a very large business gathering hosted by a client. We'd had a great working relationship over several years, so she greeted me with a friendly hug in the reception area. I tried to speak to her, but many people were waiting, so she quickly moved on to the next person.

Feeling a little vulnerable in this setting, with lots of people I didn't know, and many influential people present, I started to feel that my client had brushed me off.

I tried to get past it by carrying on, pleasantly making conversation.

But I felt subdued, and wasn't making all I could of the opportunities available to me. And inside, my inner film maker was at work, playing in Technicolor across my inner Imax screen, about how I wasn't really welcome, that I didn't belong there.

After a mercifully short period of running this film over and over in my head, it suddenly hit me. I was making the whole thing up! My inner observer had shown up with this news flash just when I needed her.

My client was simply doing what she promised to do: have a big gathering where she gave the crowd her all. I had to laugh at myself, and smile compassionately at that fearful place that got tweaked by the situation.

I know I'm not alone. I've spent many a call on the phone or face to face with my clients, listening to the soundtrack of an anticipated, and unwanted, scenario.

We've all put our creativity to use in ways that don't serve us, putting it in the hands of our fear or our anger. We've all run movies in our minds that get in the way of what we really want.

The good news is that we don't have to keep watching those replay scenarios.

The goal is to turn the replay scenarios off, step out of the movie and into the present moment, where your inner observer can meet you.

At least we can give ourselves a break and go get some popcorn. The break itself is often enough to let us get a different perspective on the situation.

If you sometimes have trouble turning off the screen, here are 5 ways to make the break:

1. Look for remakes. Other versions of the story you are running are possible. Look for them. Chances are, one will resonate with you, and you'll be able to step away from the original big screen version.

2. Watch what you buy at the concession stand. If you're stuffing yourself with popcorn and Junior Mints, chances are you're trying to cover up some discomfort or fear. Stop chewing. Swallow. Now take a little internal reading while you're clearing the popcorn bits out of your teeth with your tongue. How are you really feeling in the moment? Not so good? OK, what's that feeling all about? Is it really about what the big screen scenario is telling you, or is there something more to it? If you can identify what's really bugging you, it's likely that your yen for soggy popcorn will miraculously melt away.

3. Keep the drama in its place. Most people aren't mean; they just focusing on what's important to them at the moment, and they're doing the best they can. OK. So what are you going to do about the situation that's bothering you? While throwing a hissy fit might make for a great dramatic scene in a movie, it's exhausting in real life! And it deprives you of a great opportunity. When you're feeling like someone isn't giving you what you want, ask yourself, 'can I give that to myself?' You might be surprised: in most cases, the answer is yes! This brand of independence allows you to turn the situation around so that you give yourself what you most need right then. Now that is real-life drama of the best kind!

4. Write a new ending. We can be hard on ourselves when these scenarios have had some time to play. Forgive yourself for running with it. Have compassion for the place inside of you that it comes from. You've come to the end of this screening, you are taking care of that place, and you can move on.

5. Put your name up in lights where it belongs. When we're busy trying to get someone else to fill our needs, it makes for difficult moments in our relationships, and not much fun for ourselves. When we put our own names on the situation, up in lights, clearly, where we can see that meeting our needs is our own responsibility, then we truly start to get our needs met, and gain the power to direct our own lives.

So put your creativity to good use, with imagined scenarios that serve you and your goals. When those tricky scenarios start to play in your head, you can call on that inner observer who lets you see what's really going on. Step away from the big screen, and you'll find her.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Putting-Your-Creativity-to-Work-for-You&id=9170648

How To Conquer Pressure Like A Brain Surgeon

Some people would say that I have a high-pressure job. I'm a professional speaker. My job is to do what, to most people, is their number one fear: speaking in public. In a few days, I'll be speaking to an audience of 5,000 people - and I'm fine with that. For many people, though, that would be more pressure than they could handle.

You know who I think has a high-pressure job? Brain surgeons! See, if I screw up, what happens? The speech doesn't go well, and I probably don't get invited back. If the brain surgeon screws up, what happens? The patient dies. So I think we can all agree that the brain surgeon is under much more pressure, right?

You know who might not agree? The brain surgeon.

"How is that possible, Bill?" you ask. "Surely the brain surgeon knows, better than anyone, how much pressure she's under?"

But here's the thing. Most speciality surgeons (brain surgeons, cardiac surgeons, orthopedic surgeons, etc.) don't feel nearly the amount of pressure we mere mortals might think they do.

Why is that?

Largely, it's because of one word: repetition.

When a surgeon steps into the operating room, she has performed that procedure so many times before that, in her eyes, it's routine. It's just another day at the office.

The training generally follows a process called WDT, which stands for Watch, Do, Teach.

When learning a procedure, the doctor/student will Watch this procedure being done by surgeons who have already mastered it. And then they'll watch again. And again. And again.

The next step is to Do the procedure - at first under close supervision and then, finally, as the lead surgeon.

The final step, which some say is the most critical, is to Teach others how to do the procedure. When you can teach it to others, you know you have it mastered.

It's the same in your world. Even though you may not be aware of it, you probably went (or are going through) the same steps. And what do they have in common?

Repetition.

When you Watch a skill being performed when you Do the skill, and when you Teach the skill - dozens, hundreds, thousands of times - you are repeating it to the point where it becomes routine. And when it becomes routine, it eases the pressure.

Do you think your pilot starts shaking and sweating when it's time for him to land the plane? Probably not. Why? Because he's done it thousands of times - it's routine.

Why can I get up and speak to 5,000 people without falling to pieces? Because I've spoken to hundreds and hundreds of audiences before.

Here's the equation: As repetition increases, pressure decreases.

Do you recall the pressure you felt the first time you got behind the wheel of a car? If you're over, say, 30, you may not even remember it - but it was there! Do you feel that pressure now? Probably not (unless something out of the ordinary occurs). There's no pressure anymore. It's routine.

Bottom line: Whatever high-pressure skills are involved in your job, practice them. And then practice them again. Over and over and over. Until they become routine.

It works for the brain surgeon, and it'll work for you.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Conquer-Pressure-Like-A-Brain-Surgeon&id=9933037

When Fear or Sadness Turns to Anger

WE LIVE in a cause-and-effect world. Things that happen have what Isaac Newton called an equal and opposite reaction. Emotional processes are certainly not exempt. Whatever happens to us has an effect. We can neither deny it nor can we make more of it than we'd wish.

It is what it is - our emotional process.

What goes inward must, of a sense, be processed, where meaning is made; where meaning rummages around in the vessel, sometimes coming out in unexpected ways.

There are times when we can't possibly predict how we will feel as a result of something that has happened. We can always explain it better from the aspect of hindsight, but hindsight is not a gift we get in advance.

So, we are left with our emotions - those that result for our perception of justice.

Justice, of course, is clearly another matter. But we can be sure that our justice is faltering in contrast to true justice: reality. Pride - the ego - tends to twist our realities in favour of us and those we are kin with. So, our emotions can be ransomed. The closer our relationship with God - that sense of vertical self - the better is our awareness and our ability to receive the truth humbly.

WHEN ANGER IS AN INDICATION OF RELIEF NEEDED

We should judge our anger much less than we do, in my opinion. We are too harsh on ourselves, and, as a result, we get despondent and then we are more likely to get angry - it's a vicious cycle.

When we have a bearing or a gauge for our anger - when we feel the heat rising - we then stand on a precipice. If we act to deal with 'us' by enquiring "What is going on here," we may then simply take a short time out to reflect, which is safety. That's all our higher minds need in bringing some sense of integrity to our thinking - to take the pressure off.

When we are especially sad or fearful we are more prone to anger. It's the process of transference at work. What builds up must find expression, and safe expression is unlikely to be found in the actual direction of our sadness or fear, unless we are aware and okay to travel truthfully in its direction - ah, that's in the direction of healing!

This is why we take our anger out on those we love; they won't reject us, or at least they will take more of our garbage than some would. But the better way is to recognise why the anger presents in the first place. It's not about them, but it's about our own lack. That acknowledged - that it's our own lack and not really about them at all - we can call our presenting emotions for what they are. There is no need to spew our anger over others in ugly transference.

***

Anger is the indication of relief that's needed. We are more prone to anger when we are sad or fearful. Simply knowing that anger is caused by sorrow or fear helps. It helps us control our emotions so others won't be damaged; so that we have options like reflecting instead of ranting.

https://ezinearticles.com/?When-Fear-or-Sadness-Turns-to-Anger&id=8127238

I Will Not Let Fear Drive The Minivan

Like I've said before, I idolize the Author, Elizabeth Gilbert. I have learned so many things from her latest book Big Magic, but probably the biggest was that you needed fear to be creative, you just can't let it drive the minivan. It has to come along, but it has to sit in the back seat, with absolutely no contribution.

So diving in head first after discovering my passion last week, I decided to tackle my biggest fear in baking. Seed Culture. Two of the scariest words to me, well that and Barm and Starter. Unless you're a baker, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. These are what you use to make beautiful and delicious variations of wild yeast bread. A task I was always afraid to try, but I've decided NOT to let fear drive the minivan, and I am taking control of this road trip.

Rob's favorite type of bread is Rye Bread and because I do not have a favorite type of bread, I decided to make Rye Bread. I dug out my copy of The Bread Baker's Apprentice and looked for the recipe and thought why would you want to limit yourself to just one type of bread when there are so many options. After reading the process of creating a Seed Culture, Barm and Starter, I started to hyperventilate a bit.

I sat on the couch and thought for a second. Why was I so afraid all these years to create a starter? Afraid to the point of getting that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I think it's because in my eyes if I couldn't start a successful Seed Culture, which would result in a successful Barm, which would result in a successful Starter, which would eventually result in a successful loaf of bread, I could no longer consider myself a successful baker. I realized it was ridiculous to think that way, but isn't most fear-driven thinking ridiculous?

It's not like I'd be investing a lot of money, it's just flour, water, and pineapple juice to begin with and then a few weeks from now it will just be some more ingredients and presto Rye bread; I hoped. So it wasn't the fear of spending a ton of money and failing, it was, quite honestly, just the fear of failing.

So I went to the grocery store and got everything I needed to start the process, sat it on the counter and just looked at it all sitting there. Then I walked away from the counter, took a deep breath went back to the kitchen and proceeded to make a Cranberry Upside-down Cake instead. Something comfortable, easy and familiar, however, all the ingredients for the Seed Culture just mocked me on the counter. So I picked up the cookbook and started to process. It took a total of 5 minutes, maybe. Every day it was a process with the seed culture and starter. You have to feed it, you have to love it, and you have to nurture it. It's like anything that is worthwhile you have to put in the time and time I have.

Like most things, when I decided not to let fear drive the minivan, it was easy, it was fun, and it was actually relaxing. I woke up every morning, pulled out the Seed Culture, took a deep breath of the smell of fermenting flour and pineapple juice, fed it more flour and juice, tuck it into it's warm container on the stove and went about my day.

In the end, it ended up being a failure, but no one died. The world didn't stop spinning. I didn't fall into a puddle onto the floor. I just threw out the two cups of sticky, smelly goo that had taken me four days to create, and poured myself a cup of coffee. As I sat on the couch with my coffee, I reached for The Bread Baker's Apprentice book and started turning the pages.

It's interesting to me how fear has the ability to overwhelm all your logical thinking and take over life. I wonder how many things we miss out on because we let fear take over our decision-making process. We allow it to drive the minivan. I am trying my best not to let that happen anymore, I hope you don't either.

https://ezinearticles.com/?I-Will-Not-Let-Fear-Drive-The-Minivan&id=9222953