Fixing Your Life Is Like Fighting a Hydra

How often do you have problems in your life? Like buses, you can go ages without one then three arrive at once. This is because problems are cunning, clever predators. They hunt in packs. If you focus on sorting out your finances, your relationship dramas loom in the background.

It's the most depressing game of Whack-a-Mole of all time. Bop one problem and three take its place.

How do you go on when nothing seems to help?

In Greek mythology, there's the mighty Hydra. When you cut off a head from the terrifying serpent, two grow to replace it. So, do you keep swinging? It's hard to, when every effort only makes things worse.

So, do you give up? Lay down your sword and let the Hydra devour you?

Or do you look for a better solution?

The answer to the Hydra problem is fire. Cut off the head, then cauterise the wound. Deal with the problem and stop it returning. That's fine for battling a regenerating serpent, but how can you do the same thing in your life?

The fire trick deals with the problems at their source. The heads aren't the problem; they're the symptom. The real problem is the Hydra itself.

Just as all problems in your life have a common cause.

Sometimes it's obvious. For example, a lack of confidence can undermine your career, business and love life. And it's usually pretty obvious when this is the case. Other causes can be harder to spot.

The good news is that you don't have to identify them to treat them.

I worked with a client who had problems. That's how he defined them: "problems". To him, they were like a big, black, swirling cloud. He knew they were bad, but each was so intertwined with the others that he couldn't make sense of any of them. And he had no clue on how to even start resolving it.

This is common when your problems hunt in packs.

The solution?

I asked him to explore the cloud of problems. This takes patience, as it can be slow work. It also takes discipline. If you succumb to thinking bad thoughts about the problems... well, you've just created a new one. You need to observe the problems critically and with detachment, like a curious scientist exploring some aspect of the natural environment.

This allowed him to strip away the fog and reveal a small seed. This seed was the source of his problems - the common factor behind all his current anxieties, woes and missteps.

What was this seed and how did he resolve it? Finding out was not easy. But, since this was just one obstacle, it was easy to get started.

This is how you fix your problems. Like fighting a hydra, you can't rely on brute force. You have to be smart.

Are you curious about how I stripped away the fog of problems? It's quite a simple and fun technique, once you know how. I explain everything you need to know to apply it to your own life in this month's Awakened Thought.

Imagine being able to resolve emotional blockages in a few moments of thinking. You can experience more than relief as it frees up your energy to focus on what you want in life.

Get your hands on it here:

https://ezinearticles.com/?Fixing-Your-Life-Is-Like-Fighting-a-Hydra&id=9896899

Why Is Taking the First Step So Hard? (By Andy Kay)

If you're anything like I used to be, you've been held back by your current problems for more than a matter of months. You've wanted to be taking the first step. But... How??

We do this for several reasons. Some more evident than others.

For example, if lack of confidence is holding you back, there's probably several by-problems affecting your entire predicament.

You might feel too tired; stressed; hurt; overwhelmed; too frightened. Or your fear might be an inner, hidden one which manifests as apparent laziness and comfortability.

Maybe you don't know how to plan your time. Maybe you prioritize wrongly. Or maybe you don't feel comfortable in making the right choices.

The right choices are different from everyday ones like choosing what to wear, what to eat, when to sleep, what to read, etc.. For the most part, those make but small differences in our lives.

Conversely, making the right choice is the last thing anyone does before permanently changing their life for the better.

The right choice has will and focus behind it. A will to go in a certain direction; a focus on the direction itself.

Now, those things in themselves don't make any choice "right". (I'm sure a lot of murderers had will and focus too... ) But any right choice will necessarily encompass will and focus.

Then, why is making the right choice so hard for people with low confidence?

I'd like to be able to present a simple, yet surprising reason here. But the fact is, people are different, and so are their sources of low confidence, respectively.

Some might not know what they want. Others might, but may then be too scared of failure and humiliation. - Or even of the responsibility and exposure following a successful completion.

Whatever it is, here's the good news:

While taking the first step might seem hard, the first step matters less than you think.

So what really matters is that no matter how you feel, you go ahead and do it anyway.

Yes, it's scary. But you can do it.

Consider how great musicians and speakers get nervous before going onstage. Hell, great artists are among the world's most notoriously depressed people.* But they do it anyway.

I'm not making you feel bad about yourself. I'm saying, whatever you want to do CAN be done.

And if you don't know what you want, you won't find out by wallowing in inactivity, but by getting out and gathering new inspiration.

Remember: You can always change directions. If you're stuck somewhere, you probably won't evolve. But whatever new place you go, you'll learn new things to help you further on.

All you gotta do is to be taking that first step to get going.

ACTION ITEM:

1) Write down your three biggest values, your three biggest strengths, and your three biggest interests.

2) Take the biggest one from each category, and write down three possible ways of combining the three into something you'd like to do.

3) Pick one.

4) Write down the three first things you can do to make this happen.

5) For the next three days, do one of these things.

6) Repeat point 4) to 5).

Congratulations: You're taking the first step.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Is-Taking-the-First-Step-So-Hard?&id=9733209

If You're Not In It For Love

There are all kinds of people in all kinds of places who are in relationships and marriages for all kinds of reasons... other than being in love. Why do we do it? Is it comfortable, honest or acceptable? That depends on your arrangements; there may even be a way to make it easier or more pleasant. What are the top 5 reasons we enter into this kind of arrangement?

1. Security 

2. Loneliness/Companionship 

3. Lack of confidence/Poor Self esteem 

4. Peer pressure /Job Expectations/ Family Pressure 

5. Parenting Assistance

It should come as no surprise that money is the top reason people enter into relationships with someone they are not in love with. There is a large segment of our population who believe that money matters; it makes their world go round. They are willing to trade the magic of love for security.

Loneliness can be unbearable. There are many people who are self-reliant and more than capable of living alone comfortably but cannot tolerate the silence; the daily routine of a life lived alone. They are willing to trade the things they can provide for companionship with someone they are not in love with.

Low self-esteem or the lack of confidence in one's own ability to navigate a life alone is the third reason people enter into a non-loving relationship. The attention and even the friendship of another person are worth the trade as they cease the pursuit to real love and accept what is available. This group feels lucky to have found someone who will stay with them.

Many people are perfectly happy alone and capable of managing financially yet still enter into relationships without any expectation of falling in love because it is expected of them. They are made to feel like they are lacking in some way if they are not 'with' someone. It keeps the naysayers off their back. This group is also compromised of those who become involved in a relationship because it makes them appear more stable in their position at work, leading to promotions.

Single parenting can be tough even if you are financially stable. Many people believe their child will have a better opportunity to be stable and productive under the guidance of two parents. This group becomes involved with a person they believe will complete the family circle, choosing to forego love in the name of good parenting.

All of these are good reasons that are comfortable, honest and acceptable as long as neither person is under any illusion.

When we fall in love with anyone we identify this from pleasurable experiences. The more we have the deeper we fall in love. The more unpleasant experiences we encounter the less likely we are to stay 'in love.' If you have settled for less than love in your relationship you may want to consider building one pleasurable experience after another to strengthen the bond. You may actually find that the unthinkable has happened and you fall in love!

http://ezinearticles.com/?If-Youre-Not-In-It-For-Love&id=9420523

6 Phrases Weak People Always Use When They Are Planning to Fail

Listen for voice inflection and a lack of confidence, sure. But these phrases reveal everything you need to know about someone who is planning to let you down.

You can hear it in their voice.

When an employee, contractor, business partner, or even a customer is not planning to deliver on what he or she has promised, you can always tell. Listen to the exact wording, voice inflection, and maybe a hint of deviousness, but these phrases are always a red flag. They reveal the person intends to fail.

1. "I will do my best...."

If you hear this one, make a contingency plan. The person is not going to do their best. In fact, it's a warning sign that the person already knows they cannot complete the task. Whatever happens, it will end in failure.

2. "Let me get back to you on that..."

I've heard this one at trade-shows many times. It means the exact opposite. The person saying this phrase won't get back to you...ever.

3. "I have some good ideas on that..."

It's a red flag when people tell you about an idea. It's a stall. If the idea was that great, the person would just do it and the problem would be resolved.

4. "I will try..."

Not everyone has seen the original Star Wars movies. There is no try, per Yoda. When someone says "try" it's a code word. It means: "I know I am going to fail..."

5. "Actually..."

This is a harmless word, right? Yet, it means trouble. What comes after it is a mild rebuttal, but the person is not really that sure. "Actually" they are planning to fail.

6. "You have my word on that..."

Confident people don't use this phrase. Why bother? The person who needs to trust you will either do that or won't do that, despite whether you say this phrase.

http://www.inc.com/john-brandon/6-phrases-weak-people-always-use-when-they-are-planning-to-fail.html

For a Solid Life of Success, Avoid These 4 Temptations

There are consequences for chasing rainbows. Here’s how to avoid them

I don't have enough paper to write or tell you the thousand sad stories I know about all the educated, gifted and talented people who fell into the temptation to get rich quick, looked for something for nothing, ceased to persist and do, believed false promises, and took shortcuts.

A solid life of success is built climbing stairs, not mounting a rocket ship, and it’s sad to watch people chase false dreams—or their tails, the wind, rainbows.

Are you chasing rainbows? Make sure you stop running after these temptations:

1. The temptation to get rich quick

Everybody wants everything instantly—instant rice, instant pudding, instant success. My father always said, "Take time to be an apprentice and learn the whole job.” It works.

2. The temptation to take shortcuts

Taking shortcuts, cutting corners—it’s a character flaw. You will be building on sand, and it will surely collapse. It always has. And it always will.

3. The temptation to believe that “the grass is greener on the other side”

We need to stay focused on where we are now, what we are doing now—our present opportunity, our present job, our present activity. We need to be able to make our current responsibilities work.

4. The temptation to quit too soon

History books and storybooks are filled with illustrations and parables of people who quit digging "three feet from finding the gold." Just one more try to complete an invention, just one more call to make a sale, just one more...

What happens if you fall into one of these temptations? You might lose sight of your goals, develop a lack of confidence and suffer from an eroding self-esteem.

But you can avoid all of that, if you just...

• Commit to a singleness of purpose.

• Set and put into writing specific and clearly defined goals.

• Outline exact action steps you must take to achieve your goals.

• Repeat daily affirmations to support your goals.

• Form a support group of your family, friends, co-workers.

• Create an accountability factor.

http://www.success.com/article/for-a-solid-life-of-success-avoid-these-4-temptations