Vengeance: Does It Only Affect the Guilty?

Vengeance. One of the leading causes of mass destruction and a powerful, yet dangerous, anecdote to our pain. Yes, vengeance. We all sought it, yearned it, and possibly rubbed our hands together maniacally until we conjured a plan to get even at those we believe have wronged us. YOU THOUGHT YOU'D GET AWAY WITH IT, DIDN'T YOU? We mentally whisper in our wrongdoer's ear. THEY GOT WHAT THEY DESERVED! We say to ourselves, as fire finally leave our hearts. But, guess what? We may have gotten our sweet revenge but we didn't take into consideration an important factor in our triumph... the other victim! "Victim?" You ask? But, I AM the victim!" You exclaim. Yes, before your get-even-plan, but as soon as you do, it is highly possible someone else takes your place as victim. Let's take a look at this scenario, shall we?

My office manager, "Mr. Wrong", had been giving me hell for several years. It started out with me asking him if I had any chances for growth and the reply was always in my favor, but for years he would hire others for the same position I was pretty much begging him for, even though I had proven myself worthy many times before. Adding insult to injury, for years, the receptionist insisted on not showing up for work and out of six customer service reps. I was the only one required to cover her and was threatened to leave if I did not comply. My end-of-the-year salary was even threatened. On many occasions, I expressed this unfairness to Mr. Wrong, the vice president, and the C.E.O. of the company and was told, "you have a good receptionist's voice so we like to put you up there" or "well, we don't pay her for not being here anyway, so why should you care? Besides, her absences do not concern you." I even approached the receptionist in hopes that she had a conscious, but angry words were exchanged and there was no resolve.

But, a more disturbing matter persisted with Mr. Wrong when he started showing up at my cubicle every ten minutes, pretending he was using the copier or doing something else, meanwhile, I would catch him standing behind me, watching my computer. Unbeknownst to him, I could see him through the reflection of the glass and through the mirror that I strategically placed on my desk. This was an all-day, everyday event. When I made a complaint to the vice president she told me she was sure Mr. Wrong was not "stalking" me and that she questioned my credibility. I grew even more livid at this blatant disregard and found myself becoming isolated and always angry, believing there was no hope for me. I wallowed in self-pity and started thinking of one thing... VENGEANCE.

Plotting my revenge: I wasn't exactly sure how I would do it but I started coming up with ideas on how I would make Mr. Wrong pay for the emotional and mental distress he was inflicting upon me. One of these thoughts was to destroy as many files as I could and then quit the job, leaving whomever to deal with the months it would take to recover the work. In addition, I considered anonymously letting Mr. Wrong's wife know what kind of a person she married: a deliberate being that allowed drama to persist in the workplace. THIS WILL SHOW HIM, I told myself... but then my conscious kicked in and that changed everything.

Casualties of my wrath: Because I desperately wanted Mr. Wrong to PAY I did not consider who might be caught in my "wrathfire." It wouldn't be Mr. Wrong's files I would be destroying, but the client's files, who entrusted the hard-working employees of the company to render impeccable services to them. Not only that, the employees would have to all chip in to recover work that I destroyed, delaying their own work in the process. This probably wouldn't have affected Mr. Wrong as much as it would have affected the others and all because I couldn't let go of my anger towards him.

The Domino effect: Things could go awry rather quickly and whether or not someone deserves revenge is not the issue because usually the guilty aren't the only ones affected. Someone else usually falls prey to our wrath and then they'll want revenge from you! In 2.5 seconds we would have managed to go from being a victim to being the wrongdoer. And guess what? If you deserved to get revenge, they did too, didn't they? Take your time... I'll wait for your answer.

That 'Aha!' moment: I started really listening to other people's advice and took heed to what others saw in me that lead to my pain. Although it was clear to many that I was being treated unfairly, there was only one reason it prolonged. It was I who gave Mr. Wrong and everyone else the right amount of power to control me. There was something else. It was my lack of self-worth that initiated this anger which inevitably led to this unquenchable thirst to get even. I allowed people to play on my emotions and they greedily ate it up! Had I the confidence in myself, I would have started searching for other employment, leaving the intoxicating environment where I was consumed with negativity.

The resolution: Once I came to terms with the reality that I was causing my own distress I started doing a few things to benefit myself rather than avenge myself. Here are some of them:

• I started spending more time building my confidence instead of helping others break it down.

• I began focusing on the things that made me stand out positively, like my creative skills and talents, and worked on how to utilize them to achieve a high-paying career instead of settling for a low-paying job.

• I sent Mr. Wrong a stern, yet, respectful email telling him I did not appreciate how I was being treated and I wasn't standing for it any longer. I let him know that I was aware he was constantly creeping behind my desk and to direct his attention where it was needed. Slowly I began to notice he wasn't doing it anymore or at least I stopped noticing it as much.

• I started meditating and seeking spiritual guidance. Without it, I wouldn't find peace and freedom, nor the faith necessary to move forward.

• Finally, I decided on a date that I would quit; without the date, I would never move forward with this huge step in my life.

The conclusion: Inch by inch my anger lessened and vengeance was no longer my concern because I had gotten it without having to do anything to Mr. Wrong. The stupid look on his face when I disregarded his existence with my head held high was and still is priceless. I said nothing to him unless it was necessary, while still keeping the amount of respect for him that was required. There was absolutely no negative energy directed towards anyone in order for me to get even so no one got hurt. As for the receptionist, well, let's just say a new sheriff arrived to town who didn't exactly appreciate her incompetence. Within a couple of months of tolerating her, the "sheriff" let her know her services were no longer needed at the company.

Your turn: There are many ways to get even with someone without hurting them or yourself and here are a few things that can help you achieve this blissfully:

• Express yourself to the person you are at odds with. Sometimes, and I stress "sometimes," people honestly do not realize the misery they cause others.

• Be mindful of the people who might get caught in your crossfire. You might find that you'll take a different route and still find relief in a non-detrimental approach.

• Work on your emotions. Our emotions affect the way we respond to things and we can save ourselves, our rivals, and the innocent from unnecessary conflict.

Please note: I want to point out that there are, of course, many more serious situations that cause people to want revenge, but know that this will cause you more pain then you think because while your mind wants to get even your spirit only wants freedom and you rob your spirit of that in a vengeful state of mind. Know that you should seek a deeper level of guidance and healing that will help you get past it all. Nevertheless, there will be situations where all you have to do is shift a few things around and things will fall into place just famously without violent or anger-driven revenge. So, keep your head up. Keep fighting. Stay strong.

"They will pay. They always pay, whether you are around to know it or not. Good receives good. Bad receives bad; it is karma's way."

-THE BLACK STONE, by Tamika S. Thomas

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The Best Revenge Is Massive Success

In life, apparently, the best revenge is massive success. While I tried and experienced many things in the course of my existence, I succeeded in some of them, failed terribly in others and even gave up on a few. However, failing is something no one is immune to and that we must all go through it.

Is great achievement indeed the best payback? Why are we all failing at some point in our lives? What can failures teach us? Whatever good could come out of tragedies?

Of all the people who have experienced massive success, there exists no exception to a life without failure. In fact, the masters have failed more times than the students ever tried. The determining factor is that successful people did not give up while others did. And that is why success tastes so sweet after many bitter disasters.

"The best revenge is massive success." - Frank Sinatra

However, often being considered the underdog myself, I am always rooting for the long shots, no matter who they are. For whatever reasons, people who are misfit, marginal, black sheep or dark horse are discounted continuously and put aside in life.

The Design of Success

Nonetheless, the story of these marginal is perhaps one of the oldest and most celebrated stories of our world. By being different, they often create change and achieve massive success. And we are all miracles of life. Yet, as miraculous beings, we usually look at what we do not have.

We instead prefer to compete with others, fight, hold grudges, get angry, and even argue with people who we care about. And yet, we supposed to be the smartest beings on the planet. It all seems so ironic!

The people who create massive success for themselves can let go of petty things. They influence their minds, learn, move past trivialities, and focus entirely on what they want out of life. Successful people are not being dissuaded by things like pain or failure but instead able to push past the barriers in their way and ultimately succeed.

The Misfits of Great Success

There are plenty of underdogs who achieved massive success as their best revenge. A great example of that is Sylvester Stallone. Here is an actor who came to be known through the films of "Rocky." Yet, do you know his story? Mister Stallone was at one point in his life homeless, without a cent in his pocket. He lived in a bus station for close to one month.

The movie industry rejected all of his auditions. He got turned down more than 1,500 times and told he was a 'nobody.' Can you imagine? Mister Stallone failed more than one thousand five hundred times before seeing the light. Did you know that once, he was even forced to sell his dog for 25 dollars just to cover a bill he had to pay?

He felt so sorry because his dog was his best friend. But he afterward repurchased it. And it is that same dog that appears at his side in the first Rocky movie. However, imagine just how good the revenge of massive success tasted to mister Stallone when his film had won three Oscars.

The Best Revenge Is Massive Success

Even if you are going through hard times right now, or are experiencing setbacks or failures, or if people are telling you that you are not capable of doing something, or say that it is impossible, know this: Success is possible when you believe and keep trying.

The best revenge is massive success because, in this way, you can prove to yourself first what you are capable of achieving. Do not try to convince others wrong or show your abilities because, in time, all of that will happen on its own. Consider success instead, as the best alternative.

The Taste of Success is Sweet

To reach massive success, you need to fail countless times. You might need to fail more than a thousand times like Mister Stallone. And yes, after many failures and many years of pushing forward, success can genuinely feel like the best revenge and taste so sweet.

But, once you get there, and you reached the top, all of your hard work pays off. When you accomplish the apparently impossible, you can celebrate that triumph. However, you should set the bar higher and push harder to complete even more.

Massive Success is Possible

You have to believe in yourself. Know that you are capable of a whole lot of things, much of which you do not even realize until you try. Man in all his greatness has achieved improbable things that would shock most people of the past. Massive success is most certainly the best revenge when you finally accomplish your goals.

You then realize just what you can achieve when you put our minds to what you want, focusing on it and have an unstoppable persistence. Anything is possible as long as you put your heart and soul into what you desire and pursue it with every fiber of your being.

Success is Pushing through Fears

You cannot reach success without breaking through your fears. But those steps forward also take you out of your comfort zone and change you into a stronger person. Success is not only the best revenge but is also the power that pushes you beyond the fears that are holding you back.

The reason being is that to achieve anything that may endure; you have to overcome your fears. It also makes you reach more in-depth which is something that transforms and profoundly affects you.

Success is the Best Revenge

As you work in silence, your success makes the noise for you. Other people begin to talk about your achievements, and it spread at the speed of light. Success is indeed the best revenge because you do not even need to tell anyone about it.

Then the doubters and the haters hear the news, and they become upset. In fact, a lot of people do not like to see others succeed because it makes them unhappy. They see you, a person that they know or not, who can reach massive success while they were not able to do the same thing.

Your Success is Hope for Others

Once you reach success, you become a sign of hope for other people around you. They then realize that they can also achieve their dreams as long as they do not give up and persevere over the obstacles that are in their way.

Other people can use your success as an example of what is possible in life. Not only will it be an even better payback for you, but it will in turn also be the best revenge for them. Therefore, help them prove what is possible in life when you refuse to give up and push through.

I know there a lot of people in this world who have very little belief in themselves. I want to tell them that they can achieve anything they put their mind to. Just use the success of others as a roadmap to accomplish what seems unachievable to you. So remember: Massive success is the best revenge!

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