The Missing Ingredient to Success

There are many ingredients to success: talent, creativity and insight, hard work, patience and persistence, good luck and synchronicity, the right beliefs and attitude... Did I miss something? Oh yes - spiritual practice.

Of course you can lose weight, become a capable doctor or an excellent lawyer, and be a decent mother or a successful sports player simply by doing (studying, training, working, etc.). But are you going to have satisfaction around your success? How many people do you know that seem to have achieved it all and feel miserable at the same time: exhausted, underappreciated, over-worked, never good enough (despite surface appearances), never quite there, and sometimes even not sure if that's the right thing to do and the right place to be. And then there are also those who seem to be doing all the right things and don't even achieve apparent success, not even in the eyes of the others. Why?

The answer is because dissatisfaction runs together with an overemphasis on the doing. Remember the notorious phrase Be-Do-Have? If you skip the being and jump onto the doing, you never quite end up having (personal satisfaction, successful closure, peace and happiness). You keep doing and no matter what you achieve or produce, you feel you need to do more because... If you however go a step back and focus on the being, you will end up having all that you want and more.

The being step means that you have a spiritual practice around what you do and what you would like to have. That doesn't mean you become superstitious or a religious fanatic. It means you spend time in meditation, introspection, contemplation, appreciation, prayer and gratitude. This way you can activate the higher brain, you can operate from your higher self, and you can receive guidance (through insight and intuition) simply because you feel connected to the resources of the universe and you act out of something larger than you (not because your ego wants to compensate for inferiority complexes or fears lack and separation).

Thus, if you precede the doing with being (in meditation, contemplation, prayer and gratitude), and then take action, your endeavor will be highly successful in the following respects:

1. You will know you are on the right path; you won't have second thoughts and doubts in the process or regrets later.
2. The path will be easy and things will flow (since you will be energetically aligned with the cosmic tides of power); even difficulties will be met with grace.
3. You will have a sense of fulfilment every step of the way; it won't feel like a rut race, constant stress and in the end - no feeling of satisfaction.

In a nutshell, surrounding your projects with some form of spiritual practice guarantees your success and happiness not only on paper but also in your heart.

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Quest for Happiness in This Material World

Happiness is a state of mind when impossible things seems possible. The approach may seem unrealistic but it's true. When we are immensely sad, if we are told to do something. We tend to say that it's not my cup of tea. Probably, most of you have noticed this. This is nothing but state of duality that creeps in.

State of Duality refers to the state of mind when we have to take decisions like good over bad, advantageous over disadvantageous etc. For instance, when we are given an opportunity to work in our dream company with an additional condition that we must work for 10 hours per day, without fail. The initial thoughts that comes to our mind is commonly the state of duality. Hope it makes sense!

In this material world, the definition of happiness is totally different. It's related to fulfilling needs and desires in all levels. The levels can be mental, physical and spiritual depending on individuals. Mental happiness is achieved by an individual by doing away with stress, anxiety and depression. Physical happiness is achieved by an individual by fulfilling bodily demands and needs, by doing away with pain, disease, old-age. Spiritual happiness is achieved by an individual by associating with Lord and serving others.

According to Bhagavad Gita, there are three kinds of happiness namely Sattwic happiness, Rajasic happiness and Tamasic happiness. "That which in the beginning is like poison but in the end like nectar; that happiness, born from the tranquility of one's own mind, is declared to be sattwic." For instance, in the beginning it is normal sometimes for spiritual practice to be boring but at the end, it will be happiness and ease. It appears to be as poison to the ones who are bound in ignorance. "That which in the beginning, through contact between the senses and their objects, is like nectar, and in the end like poison; that happiness is declared to be rajasic." "That happiness which both in the beginning and afterwards deludes the self, arising from sleep, indolence, and negligence, is declared to be tamasic."

Diving deep into the book of life i.e. Bhagavad Gita, makes it clear that human beings search for happiness without knowing the actual meaning of it. Some feel that having their desires fulfilled, they get happiness. Some feel that having their needs accomplished, they get happiness. On the other hand, some feel having their dreams transform into reality, they get happiness. So, we can see that depending on situations and circumstances, the significance of happiness changes.

The major problems of this material world are birth, disease, old-age and death. Doing away from this cycle of birth and re-birth gives true happiness, if seen from a broader perspective.

In this material world, people tend to get happiness from temporary things. For instance, addictions are temporary pleasures that give happiness. It is an act that helps one to bypass reality. I heard people saying, "Smoking cigarette/having alcohol helps me to overcome stress, pain and work load." This expression proves that how ignorant, we are. We are trying to avoid hardships in life and get happiness directly, which is not at all possible in real world.

How can we get happiness?

The solution is quite simple and straight-forward. We can get happiness by understanding the goal of our life. If we set a goal in our life and work accordingly to achieve it, then we will get happiness for sure after achieving it. So, our primary solution is to set a proper goal in our life and sticking to it firmly.

The secondary solution is to search for the absolute truth. We tend to remain in state of darkness if we don't have absolute knowledge. But if we know the truth that is not temporary rather permanent, then we tend to get happiness from it. If our source of happiness is eternal, then our existence also tends to be eternal. Our body is made up of two parts namely gross body and subtle body. Gross body is made up of air, water, earth, ether and fire. The five elements that surround us. Soul or satchitananda is covered with subtle body which in turn is covered by gross body. The characteristics of soul are:

a. Eternal (sat).

b. Thinking, Feeling and Willing (chit).

c. Happiness (ananda).

The evidence of subtle body and soul can be found in the Vedic Scriptures. It is clearly mentioned in the scriptures that it is the nature of soul to search for happiness. The harm is not in searching for happiness. But due to our ignorance, we tend to mislead and find alternate ways to happiness which poses threat and destroy us. So, we should run after finding the absolute truth by our own or read the Vedic Scriptures.

Spirituality is the path of true happiness. The term spirit means "animating or vital principle in man and animals." The study of the spirit soul is termed as spirituality. Human beings are social animals who are driven to circumstances that lead to happiness. In the quest for happiness, we reach at the peak of our realization. That realization is boundless and permanent. One who attains that state of mind, is commonly termed as Yogi.

Happiness cannot be attained with the mode of attachment. To be clear, it is pointless to attach ourselves to some object, somebody or something. We should always keep in our mind that all are transitory except the Lord. Whenever we try to bind ourselves to temporary shells, we also tend to become temporary. Body is mortal while soul is immortal. If we have get attached to worldly dispositions, we cannot be happy ever. For instance, the rate of suicide at teenage increased a lot due to this mode of attachment. They tend to get frustrated with life when their loved ones specially boyfriend/girlfriend leave them. They feel that it is the end of world and they won't get happiness from elsewhere. So, they tend to end their lives. Love and happiness are the basic needs for all. When they don't have proper knowledge, these basic needs become their basic demands which is more compulsive in nature.

People in this material world are not happy at all. They appear or act to be happy. The reason behind unhappiness is quite simple. They run after things that don't last longer. We all know that success and failures are two sides of a same coin. In the same way, happiness and distress go side-by-side. The nature of our mind is to get success in everything we do. It's not possible to be successful all the time. But we tend to forget that and commit unpleasant acts.

In the scriptures, it is clearly mentioned that we are not the body instead we are spirit souls. If we understand this basic principle, then we will never be sad in our life. As stated earlier, the nature of soul is to enjoy and be happy. We, human beings think that we are supreme and all but we can't even resist a cut in finger. We run to a medical shop and consult doctor. To be more practical, we can't even control the rate of flow of thoughts in our mind. In a single day, we have 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts. We can't even control our anger, fear, action, what to speak about being happy. The day, people will know their insignificance in comparison to Supreme Being, that day will be the day to rejoice and set free.

Poor people are poor because they are not having money and basic civic amenities. If I provide them with money and basic amenities, will they be happy? Please ask this question to yourself. I think that they won't be happy and content with it. Many people may not agree with me in this point. But think of people who are rich enough, are they happy and content with their life?

The only way to give happiness is by teaching them the rules of life as per the scriptures. If we lead a life centered around Lord (i.e. principles), we will be the happiest person in the world.

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3 Major Causes Of Depression — And How To Heal Them Without Meds

Editor's note: This piece was written by Dr. Margaret Paul, a therapist with more than 40 years of experience. It's not a diagnostic tool but is hopefully a resource. Please consult a trusted health care provider before making any decisions about your treatment plan.

I recently spoke at "The Real Truth About Health" conference in Orlando, Florida. In one of the talks, I spoke on a panel with Dr. Irving Kirsch, author of the best-selling book, The Emperor's New Drugs.

According to research that Dr. Kirsch explores in this book, a lot of what we know about depression is wrong. Not only did Big Pharma invent the idea of a brain imbalance that causes depression and is fixed with a drug, but antidepressants only have a placebo effect. Also, says Dr. Kirsch, the relapse rate for people on meds is much higher than for people who undergo psychotherapy.

It's a fascinating book and one that resonated with me because, in my decades as a relationship counselor, I've seen people heal from depression naturally, without drugs.

If it's not a brain imbalance that causes depression, then what is it?

In my many years of experience in working with depressed individuals, and according to literature (see Gut and Psychology Syndrome by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride and Brain Maker by Dr. David Perlmutter), there are three major causes of depression.

1. Painful life situations

When life is very painful, of course we will be depressed. Situational depression is normal. Life events can cause great heartbreak, grief and feelings of helplessness. These feelings need to be felt with much compassion, and then released out of the body, rather than being numbed with meds.

Rather than suppressing extremely painful feelings, you need to learn to lovingly manage and release the feelings from life situations such as the following:

• Loss of a loved one
• Loss of a job
• Natural disasters such as earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, or fire
• Marital and parental challenges
• Child abuse
• Violent situations such as rape, beatings, or theft
• War

You need to grieve and compassionately embrace your feelings of heartbreak, grief, and helplessness rather than suppress your feelings with drugs. Suppressing the feelings can cause them to get stuck in your body, and I believe that stuck feelings can cause illness.

If there is PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), you may need some form of trauma therapy, such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), TRE (Trauma Release Exercises), SE (Somatic Experiencing), or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), in order to release and reset the “stuck” traumatic energy.

2. Physical causes from the gut

There is some literature (see Gut and Psychology Syndrome by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride and Brain Maker by Dr. David Perlmutter) indicating that certain imbalances in gut flora (leaky gut, for example) are linked to depression.

A gut imbalance and the resulting gut permeability could be caused by sugar, wheat, gluten, and processed chemical-laden foods, or by a lack of macro- and micronutrients from clean organic foods. Other factors include stress, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, and lack of sunshine.

3. Self-abandonment

Medication covers over the feelings that let you know you are abandoning yourself — emotionally, physically, financially, organizationally, spiritually, or relationally.

There are many ways you might have learned to abandon yourself, such as:

• Ignoring your feelings, rather than being present in your body
• Judging and shaming yourself
• Turning to various addictions as a way of numbing yourself out and avoiding responsibility for learning from and lovingly managing your feelings
• Making others responsible for your feelings of worth and safety
• Eating badly
• Lack of exercise
• Lack of sleep
• Procrastination
• Overspending
• Under-spending (even when money is available)
• Being consistently late, disorganized, cluttered
• Lack of a spiritual practice
• Giving yourself up to others
• Not speaking up for yourself
• Using anger, blame, judgment, and/or violence to try to control others

This is certainly not a complete list. Anything we do that results in feeling depressed — as well as feeling anxious or shamed — may be a form of s

elf-abandonment.

Healing Depression

I've worked with thousands of people who have healed their clinical depression by learning to love themselves rather than continuing to abandon themselves. People heal their depression when they:

• Get the psychotherapy and trauma therapy they need.
• Learn to take loving responsibility for their feelings.
• Learn to connect with a spiritual source of love and comfort to help them manage the pain of life.
• Eat cleanly, exercise, and get enough sleep.
• Learn to lovingly manage stress.
• Learn to take loving care of themselves in their relationships.

There is no quick fix for depression, but there is a way to heal!

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