Setting Goals In Life

Setting goals is an important part of being human. Most people understand the importance of goals in living but are too harsh in their demands upon themselves. They feel that their goals are too insignificant, that their achievements will hardly be counted for anything if they are not able to end racial prejudice or the world poverty.

This is a mistake. While we might not be the president of United States, making decisions of global importance; or Richard Rodgers, working on a new musical which millions may see; we are individuals also, we too are made in GOD's image, and endowed with a wonderful body; we too have mind, feelings, needs, aspirations. We too mean something, if we mean something to ourselves.

"The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score" ~ Bill Copeland

Often, we have trouble getting started with our goals, or we discover that achieving them is going to take more time and effort than we thought it would, and we start to lose our motivation. But we have to realize that living without having goals or plans to reach them, is like a ship which is set to sail with no destination.

"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping-stones out of stumbling blocks." ~ Jack Penn

If you are a teen-ager, there is no shortage of goals for you. Mastering a skill, exploring an alien subject matter, hitting a baseball, making new friends, learning a popular dance. And within the span of these broad goals, you can pinpoint daily goals that are satisfying for you.

If you are in your twenties, thirties or forties, your broader goals may change in terms of specifics, but they are nonetheless potentially satisfying. You may be involved in enlarging your vocational scope, raising a family, managing money skilfully, learning hobbies, often you may aim at achievements within framework of these larger goals, or spontaneously which are fun. You should think in terms of daily goals too, not just life goals.

If you are older, cooking a good meal for yourself and your spouse is a fine goal; it may be commonplace, but it is productive. You give him or her satisfaction with your labour and the more creatively you work with your ingredients, the more pleasure you give him (her) and yourself. Painting a picture may give many people days of enjoyment, even weeks. Mixing the paints, organizing your materials, brushing on your colours, shading and shaping for subtle effects. It is not Rembrandt? That is not the point. Are you putting the best you have into your picture? Would you like to frame it and hang it in your living room? It is more important to you than the next flight into outer space. And it should be. "Life's blows cannot break a person whose spirit is warmed by the fire of enthusiasm." ~Norman Vincent Peale

You must not block yourself off from your goals, and you must move every day, feel a sense of direction toward a goal every day, no matter how small that goal might be. You keep moving in the streams of things, doing the best you can. And if you have no goal, you keep moving anyway, and a goal will catch up with you. Your sense of direction is forward.

The reality is that no matter how smart we may be, we cannot predict the future. Things are moving so fast and we're so interconnected that it is impossible to predict where we'll end up five years from now. We just don't know. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, because we will not be basing our choice of direction based on a forecast that's likely to be wrong. By recognizing and accepting the unpredictable nature of life, we can stop over-thinking and over-analysing and start living more in the present moment. This helps us to open our mind up to new areas of possibilities and conquering the limitations which we have imposed on ourselves. You'll be making your choice on what's really important to you, right here and right now, not tomorrow.

GOD didn't put you on this earth to languish in misery; He gave you the success impulses which you have to use them. If you have problems, if you meet obstacles, then you are just like most people. Most of us are familiar with the life of Hellen Keller, who overcame staggering physical handicaps to rise to her incredible achievements. You may not know that Florence Nightingale, the famed nurse, was a confirmed hypochondriac whose services of mercy involved convincing herself first that she was not dying.

The biggest difference between successful people and others isn't intelligence or opportunity or resources. It's the belief that they can make their goals happen. We all deal with vulnerability, uncertainty, and failure, but we have to trust that if we move forward anyway, then we will figure it out. "When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt." ~ Honore de Balzac

If you learn to believe in yourself, and do what you want to do, your accomplishments may amaze you. Remember that by moving forward and taking small steps each and every day, putting aside over-thinking, and realizing that you have everything you need deep within, you can find the right direction in your life. And while it may not be the direction you expected, it will work out just fine.

Now set goals and make them happen, and when you reach your goals take time to enjoy them and thank those that helped you. Think about what you enjoyed and learned along the way. Life is a learning process! Keep your spirit up and be the best of yourself.

"Every day you spend drifting away from your goals is a waste not only of that day, but also of the additional day it takes to regain lost ground" ~ Ralph Marston

Setting goals in life is something that we all hear about throughout our lives. But what is the most important benefit of setting a goal isn't about achieving it, but what we do and the person we become to achieve it.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Setting-Goals-In-Life&id=9438568

7 Habits of Highly Emotionally Healthy People

6. Identify self-defeating behaviors, and defeat them.

Most of us pay close attention to our health and treat threats to our physical well-being as soon as they occur. We dress warmly when we feel a cold coming on, we apply antibacterial ointments and bandages to cuts and scrapes, and we don’t pick at scabs as they heal. We sustain psychological injuries just as often as we do physical ones, but we are much less proactive about protecting our psychological well-being than we are our physical well-being. Adopting the following seven habits, and "treating" common psychological injuries when they occur, will help protect your mental health and improve your emotional resilience.

1. Gain Control After a Failure

Failure distorts our perceptions such that our goals seem more out of reach and our capacities seem less up to the task. Once we feel as though there is little we can do to succeed, we become demoralized and lose our motivation. Adopt the habit of ignoring this misleading gut reaction and make a list of the many factors related to your goal that were in your control—effort, preparation, planning, different approaches you could have taken, etc. Then, consider how you might go about improving each of these factors. Doing so will not only combat defeatist misperceptions, it will drastically improve your chances of future success.

2. Find Meaning in Loss and Trauma

One of the main factors that distinguishes those who thrive emotionally after experiencing loss or trauma from those who do not is their ability to eventually find meaning in their experiences and to derive purpose from them. Of course, doing so takes time, as does the process of grieving and adapting to new realities. However, adopting the habit of searching for ways to recognize not just what you've lost, but what you’ve gained as well, will allow you to develop new appreciation for your life and the people in it, to make important changes, and to find value, meaning, and purpose even if you lacked them before.

3. Disrupt the Urge to Brood and Ruminate

When we brood over distressing events we rarely gain insight into them. Instead, we replay upsetting or angering scenarios in our heads, which only increases our urge to brood and makes us feel worse. Therefore, despite how compelling the urge to brood is, adopt the habit of disrupting the brooding cycle as soon as you catch yourself ruminating about the events in question. The best way to do this is to distract yourself with a task that requires concentration—such as a game of Sudoku, trying to recall the exact order of the stations on your bus/subway line, or watching an absorbing show.

4. Nurture Your Self-Esteem

Our self-esteem fluctuates such that we feel better about ourselves some days than we do others. But many of us become self-critical when we’re feeling bad, essentially kicking our self-esteem when it’s already down. To improve your mental health, adopt the habit of regarding your self-esteem as an "emotional immune system" that needs to be nurtured back to health when it’s ailing. The best way to heal damaged self-esteem is to practice self-compassion. When you have self-critical thoughts, consider what you would do if a dear friend had similar feelings. Write out what you would say to them in an email if you wanted to express compassion and support. Then read the email as if they had sent it to you.

5. Revive Your Self-Worth after a Rejection

Rejections are so hurtful that we often try to make sense of our emotional pain by finding fault in ourselves. Our reasoning is that if we hurt so much, we must be really weak/pathetic/a loser/unworthy/fragile/unlovable, etc. Rejection hurts as it does not because there’s something wrong with us but because of how our brains are wired. The best way to ease emotional pain and revive your self-worth after a rejection is to adopt the habit of affirming aspects of yourself you value, qualities you possess that you find meaningful (e.g., loyalty, compassion, creativity, or a strong work-ethic). Make a list of such attributes, choose one or two and write a short essay about why the quality is important to you.

6. Combat Loneliness by Identifying Self-Defeating Behaviors

Chronic loneliness is much more common than we realize and it has a devastating impact on our emotional and physical health.  The problem is that once we feel lonely, we often act in ways to minimize the risk of further rejection by unconsciously engaging in self-defeating behaviors and sabotaging opportunities to make new social connections or to deepen existing ones. The best way to combat loneliness is to adopt the habit of identifying and challenging such self-defeating behaviors. Make a list of excuses you’ve used to avoid taking the initiative in social situations—I won’t know anyone at the party so why go?; They don’t call me so why should I call them?; They’re probably too busy to meet up; I can’t just introduce myself to a stranger at a cocktail party. Now make a list of people whose company you’ve enjoyed in the past (go through your phone book, Facebook friends, and Email contacts) and reach out to one or two each day to initiate plans until your social calendar is full. Challenge yourself to avoid using excuses from your list when you feel anxious.

7. Shed Excessive Guilt by Repairing Damaged Relationships

Excessive guilt occurs when our actions or inactions have harmed another person (most often a close friend or relative) who has not forgiven us for our wrongdoing. Such situations usually have more to do with the inadequacy of our apologies than with the inability of the other person to "let go" of their hurt. Indeed, the crucial ingredient an effective apology requires—and the one we most often miss—is empathy. For the other person to truly forgive you, adopt the habit of conveying effective apologies when you've done wrong. To do so, make sure the other person feels that you totally "get" how they felt as well as how they were impacted by your actions. Once you’ve expressed adequate empathy, the other person is much more likely to feel your apology is sincere and to convey authentic forgiveness. Your guilt will dissolve soon thereafter.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201307/7-habits-highly-emotionally-healthy-people