Are Charisma And The Law Of Attraction The Same?

Many people talk about the Law of Attraction (LOA) nowadays because it's a concept where people tune into the universe using their thoughts to realize their dreams.

They create a thought process that is positive and then send that out (just by thinking about it) to the universal forces. Many believe when you do this, you will receive what you think about. If you want a promotion at work, you will get it. If you need money to pay bills, this will happen too.

When looking at this concept, it doesn't seem like it's that much different from the concept of charisma.

After all, people who are charismatic seem to be able to get whatever they want. While similarities exist, the one crucial distinguishing factor with charisma is you use others to get what you want. With the LOA, for the most part you accomplish this alone.

This presents a darker side to charisma.

There are evil people who are considered charismatic. Dictators tend to start early on as being charismatic leaders. This is how they can gain their power. If you take a look at many of the infamous dictators of the 20th century - Hitler, Stalin and many Chinese war lords - these are the people who can always charm people into doing irrational things for them.

People tend to associate the word charisma in a positive light. It's much like Time Magazine's Man of the Year, or Woman of the Year. It's not necessarily about likeable people. It's about people who are the most newsworthy that year.

Charisma can certainly be used in a positive manner and many people do. However, it's easy to abuse the power of charisma when it leads to getting your way. A power such as this can be intoxicating for the charismatic person which means they continue to use it no matter the cost. After a while, they stop using their power for good and it becomes detrimental to themselves and society at large.

This concept doesn't apply to the LOA.

When you apply the LOA in your life, if you are using it to be self-serving, it simply won't work. You'll be "flagged" as someone trying to game the system, and you will be caught in the negative energy. And because it's a thought process, it is completely personal and contained within yourself.

This brings up an interesting point: can someone be charismatic and use the LOA together?

As long as they are using their charisma in a selfless manner, there should be no problem when using both. However, the minute they cross the line, the negative side of the LOA may start to accumulate and believe it or not, they will pay for the heavy price somehow, somewhere and someday.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Are-Charisma-And-The-Law-Of-Attraction-The-Same?&id=9556390

Message From the Universe: Charismatic at Its Best

"Random awkwardness, unexpected shyness, feared inadequacy, and occasional blushing are just a few of the signs that a giant is settling into their greatness.

Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, 

The Universe"

It is OK to have feelings of awkwardness, shyness, inadequacy and some blushing from time to time. If we didn't, we would question ourselves as humans with no emotions. Cyborgs maybe? It is OK to feel this way. After reading the biography of Arnold Schwarzenegger and his path to ultimate success, in all his careers, political, actor, bodybuilder and everything else he put his mind into. He had charisma, very friendly, very smart, detailed oriented and so on and so forth. He made bodybuilding popular and NOT because of how big and muscular a human being can become, it is because of the mind behind the body. He was enthusiastic about the sport, about the love and passion for the sport. Any 7.1 billion human beings will associate bodybuilding with Arnold, just like Catholics associate the religion with Jesus, or the Jews with Abraham. Can we conclude that Arnold is the God of Bodybuilding? Many think he is.

Let's put this perspective into your daily life. If you are passionate about something, do anything and everything you can to reach your goals, educate yourself, never stagnate, learn new things everyday, be determined and go to the top, I am sure you can apply everything that the Austrian oak (Ahhhhhnold) did. There is NO secret, beside staying positive all through the process. Do not be afraid, do not let fear control you or let others dictate your life. Ignore the naysayers, focus on your goals and only listen to the ones who encourage you to move forward. Getting advice from people smarter than you is important, but again, it all depends if the advice is based on doing things better or abandoning your dreams. If its the latter, then the advice shouldn't be taken in consideration. Use your instinct and follow your gut feeling. Outside output is somewhat important but do not let it deter you from how you see yourself in the future. It is your life.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Charismatic-at-Its-Best&id=9672978

6 Fail-Safe Tips to Make You More Persuasive

How can some individuals be so persuasive while others cannot appear to encourage anyone to do anything? Persuasion is part art and part science. Some people are born with the charisma that most people lack. But anyone can become more persuasive with the right approach. Anyone that can read or write can influence others successfully.

What would it mean to your professional and personal life if you could reliably influence others? Very few abilities are as extensive in their advantages.

Persuade others to align with your mindset:

1. Produce a connection with those you wish to influence. Whether you're aiming to influence a single person or a thousand, it is essential to produce relationships. The level of trust and connection you can develop will directly influence your capability to affect others. This is an essential first step. There are lots of ways to establish a connection.

Show what you share in common.

Mirror and match the other person's body movements and gestures.

Be sincere and real.

Show others that you can be trusted.

2. Be convincing. You might feel very small and insecure, however holding yourself in that manner won't encourage anybody that they should follow you. There are a number of ways we show an absence of conviction, such as body language, using qualifiers like "I think, probably, maybe and possibly," and absence of eye contact.

Stand tall, look them in the eye, and present your viewpoint like it's an apparent truth. Your self-confidence is key.

3. Use reciprocity to your advantage. Research studies reveal that you're far more likely to return a favor after someone does something for you. That's why the people who knock on your door and aim to offer you vinyl siding offer you a pen or a magnet. They understand that you'll be more likely to buy from them.

Do something for the individual you're trying to persuade. You might buy them lunch, drive them to the airport, or let them borrow a cup of sugar.

Do something for them prior to you trying to persuade and influence them. Your odds of success will increase drastically.

4. Consider their interests. Even the most honorable of people question what's in it for them. Make it clear exactly what they'll be receiving out of the deal. Your neighbor might not want to accept your idea of building a fence between your properties. Nevertheless, he may change his mind if you can show him the advantages he'll be enjoying.

You might explain that your dog will stop leaving "gifts" on his lawn.

It may help the resale value of his house.

It may minimize the amount of weeds on your lawn spreading to his.

It will increase his level of privacy.

5. Be an excellent listener. The other party matters a lot. We tend to only consider ourselves when we're aiming to be influential, however this is a serious error. Open your ears and close your mouth. When you comprehend the needs of the other individual, you'll understand how to influence them.

6. Develop yourself as an authority. If you hung around with the Dalai Lama and wrote three books on meditation, your viewpoints on the subject of meditation are much more likely to be valued and appreciated. Wearing a suite would convey authority in the right setting.

Persuasion is a highly researched topic. There are countless resources if you wish to learn more. The capability to influence others is useful both in and outside of work. Invest some time in practicing this important skill. You'll be glad you did!

http://ezinearticles.com/?6-Fail-Safe-Tips-to-Make-You-More-Persuasive&id=9507988

Things You Should Notice If You Want To Be More Charismatic

People who are charismatic are usually quite popular. Many envy those who have charisma. But could it also be a double-edged sword? Charisma is a learned skill so anyone has the capability of making it happen. But when it does, will you be ready for it?

If you notice people who are charismatic, they are constantly surrounded by others. That is the nature of charisma. Many enjoy the attention. However, if people are always coming to you at work, for instance, how are you going to get your work done? Some may think it's a good problem to have, but it can become a nuisance if it happens too much.

People also spread the word about charismatic people. They will tell their friends and colleagues what great people they are. Those friends and colleagues will also try to get some time in with the charismatic people. These new people will also end up telling their friend and colleagues as well.

If you are charismatic, people are going to come to you for advice. They will rely on any advice you give. That may be okay if you are an expert in the subject that they asked about. But if you give the wrong advice and they take it, you could be helping them get into a situation that may not be good for them.

While people are responsible for their own actions, it doesn't help when someone with charisma gives advice. The advice is likely going to be acted upon. The charismatic person sometimes revels in the title of advice giver, even if the advice is not useful.

Your home life may be affected by your increased charisma. You may find that more people are calling on you to join them in various activities, like joining the softball league or coaching kids' soccer games. These may all be activities you wanted to get involved with but there will be increasing opportunities coming to you. Those days of relaxing on Sundays are gone!

For the most part, being charismatic is a good quality and one that most people would love to incorporate into their life. It may even put you into a significant leadership role along with a promotion. But be ready for the changes that happen and try to keep grounded in what it's going to mean for others as well as the impact it may have on you and your family.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Things-You-Should-Notice-If-You-Want-To-Be-More-Charismatic&id=9593295

6 Surefire Ways to Increase Your Charisma

It's not about what's in you, but what you can offer others.

While research on charisma is still in development, one of the most extensive studies yet has found that charisma is not so much a gift as a learnable skill you can master. 

What Presence Has to Do With It

If you meet someone at a cocktail party whose eyes are constantly flitting around the room, do they make a good impression? Do they appear magnetic or charming? The answer is probably not. Their mind is clearly somewhere else—maybe trying to figure out if there is someone in the room who is more important than you. They are not focusing on the conversation, and they may glance at (or even focus on) their mobile devices. Are you likely to want to speak to them again? Chances are you will not. No one is interested in talking to someone who is not present. Worse yet is if they are not present and they are focused on technology. One study showed that the mere presence of a cellphone impaired people's sense of connection in face-to-face conversations.

However, if you meet someone who is completely attentive to you, and actively engaged in the conversation, you are much more likely to find them likable and interesting. If that person’s cellphone rings without them checking it, they get even more points. Why? Because in that moment, the only thing that seems to matter to them is you. You are the most important person there, and they have gifted you all of their attention at that moment.

A charismatic person is able to exert significant influence because he or she connects with others in meaningful ways. It’s no surprise people often describe highly charismatic people—presidents including Bill Clinton are frequent examples—as having the ability to make you feel as if you were the only person in the room. Given how rare it is to receive that kind of attention from anyone, the ability to be fully present makes a big impression.

6 Ways To Increase Your Charisma

We often think of charisma as a special gift—the je ne sais quoi that makes someone a star. Max Weber defined it as:

“a certain quality of an individual personality by virtue of which he is set apart from ordinary men and treated as endowed with supernatural, superhuman, or at least specifically exceptional powers or qualities. These are . . . not accessible to the ordinary person, but are regarded as of divine origin or as exemplary, and on the basis of them the individual concerned is treated as a leader.”

(link is external)

What research shows is that charisma is not so much a gift, some "it factor" that you either were born with or not. But charisma has a lot to do with the ability to be fully present. The study pointed to six elements of a charismatic person:

1. Empathy—the ability to see things from another person’s perspective and to understand how that person is feeling. You can only be empathic and place yourself in another person’s shoes if you are fully attentive to them—which you are obviously only able to do if you are completely present with them.

2. Good listening skills—the ability to truly hear what someone is trying to communicate to you, both verbally and nonverbally. Think of the person at the conference social hour who interrupts you or can’t wait to interject her two cents. She is not truly listening to you because she’s thinking about herself—what she will say, how smart she will sound, how impressed you will be. But if you are distracted or thinking about what to say next—not truly present—you are not truly listening.

3. Eye contact—the ability to meet and maintain someone’s gaze. Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of human connection. We intuitively feel that when someone’s gaze shifts away from us, their attention has also shifted away. This intuition is backed by neuroscience research, which has found that you use the same brain regions when your gaze wanders as when your mind wanders. When you are present and looking someone in the eye, the impact of that connection can be powerful. In addition to feeling heard, because of your empathy and good listening skills, people actually feel seen.

Source: g-stockstudio/Shutterstock

4. Enthusiasm—the ability to uplift another person through praise of their actions or ideas. Enthusiasm is difficult to fake because it is such an authentic emotion. It can only occur when you sincerely engage with what someone else is doing or saying. For your enthusiasm to come across powerfully, you have to sincerely feel it. Again, your ability to be fully present and engaged is essential.

5. Self-confidence—the ability to act authentically and with assurance, without worrying about what other people think. Many people are so busy worrying about how they appear that they end up coming across as nervous or inauthentic. Their focus is on themselves rather than on the other person. When you are fully present, you are focused on others rather than yourself. As a consequence, you naturally come across as confident; instead of worrying about what others are thinking of you, you are composed, genuine, and natural.

6. Skillful speaking—the ability to profoundly connect with others. It is essential to know your audience if you want to make an impact. The only way to do so, however, is to tune in to them. When you are 100% present with your audience, you are able to understand where they are coming from and how they are interpreting your words. Only then can your words be sensitive and appropriate. When you speak skillfully, you will be truly heard.

Charisma, simply put, is absolute presence.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-it/201601/6-surefire-ways-increase-your-charisma

Want More Charisma? It All Starts With Your Mind

How to mix and master the 3 mental traits of charismatic people: presence, warmth and power 

Quick: Think of a charismatic person. Are you picturing a famous actor? A religious leader? An all-black-wearing, TED-Talking innovator? Chances are your answer is somewhere along those lines, and your eighth-grade English teacher didn’t come to mind. You know the one: soft-spoken and a bit frumpy, yet constantly mobbed by adoring students, even after she made them spend the weekend reading King Lear. OK, I’m describing my wonderful eighth-grade English teacher, Judy Jordan. But look back: Didn’t you have a teacher like that, too, or maybe a scoutmaster or a sports coach? And hasn’t your life been dotted with people who have that special “it” that makes others like them, trust them and want to be led by them?

Despite popular notions, charisma doesn’t just come in one bold flavor. Nor is it some rare magic that a few brilliant or beautiful people are born with. Instead, the latest thinking and research suggests that charisma is as varied as ice cream. It’s found among all sorts of folks, in every walk of life.

And it can be learned.

If you’re like me, this news might spark alarming visions at first: visions of slimy politicians/car salesmen/name-a-stereotype who use practiced smiles and hand gestures to win you over, while telling whoppers about the economy or highway mileage. But that’s not true charisma, and the fact that you see through it is proof.

“Because human beings are such fantastic lie detectors—and we do detect micro-expressions as fast as 17 milliseconds—you can’t fake charisma,” says Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism. “You have to feel genuine emotion.”

In other words: True charisma comes from within. Yes, external stuff can help, from clothes to voice to smiles and hand gestures. But it’s no good by itself.

“People see charisma as charm or an ability to manipulate, and I see it as the opposite—I see it as completely being in your truth,” says author, sociologist and life coach Martha Beck. “The word charisma literally means someone who has a connection to the gods, somebody who can reach into the numinous or unseen world and bring back messages. I kind of still see it that way. When you go to a seminar with a really charismatic person, you have the feeling, Oh, I can trust this person. They are giving me something from a source that is true.”

So if you really want to be liked, trusted and listened to, work on your own mind first.

A GIFT OF PRESENCE

What I remember best about Ms. Jordan (along with her devotion to Shakespeare and her lovely lopsided smile) is how present she was. When she spoke with you, she spoke with you. Period. No glazing of the eyes. No glancing past your shoulder to see if someone more important was coming along.

Small wonder, then, that of all the mental aspects of charisma, Cabane thinks the most important is being truly engaged with others. “Because so few of us are ever fully present, if you can manage even a few moments of full presence from time to time, you’ll make quite an impact,” she writes.

During a conversation, Cabane says in The Charisma Myth, “Try to regularly check whether your mind is fully engaged or whether it is wandering elsewhere (including preparing your next sentence).” When you’re alone, she recommends a technique—adapted from mindfulness disciplines—that can train you to be more in the moment: Sit or stand in a quiet place and set a timer for one minute. “Close your eyes and try to focus on one of the following three things: the sounds around you, your breathing or the sensations in your toes.”

Remember, presence doesn’t necessarily involve opening your mouth. Many of the world’s most charismatic people, from daytime talk-show hosts to the Dalai Lama, are known as much for their silence as for their words.

Think of Oprah Winfrey, Beck says: “Oprah is so smart. She has so much knowledge. And yet when she talks with someone, she asks questions with such intensity, and she listens with such intensity. She actually puts all her attention on other people, and that is genius to me. It’s the power of her genuine focus on other people that makes her so mesmerizing.”

Could your listening skills use a polish? Try arriving at a cocktail party with just one goal, Beck says: All I’m going to do is ask questions. If someone asks you a question in turn, politeness dictates that you answer, but keep it brief. “If you can ask a few questions and just listen, they will think you’re the most charismatic person they’ve ever met.”

GETTING WARMER

Another magnetic person I’ve been lucky to know is the journalist Susan Kelleher. From CEOs to average Joes, she has a knack for getting people to talk with her and for making friends. There’s no one reason, of course: She has plenty of attractive traits, including brains, humor and astounding cheekbones.

But perhaps her greatest charismatic gift is her almost palpable concern for others. As Beck says, “Anyone without compassion ultimately doesn’t have real charisma. Nobody stays interested in you if you really don’t care about them.”

And while Kelleher humbly denies that she is charismatic (humility and charisma often go together, from what I’ve seen), she does cop to cultivating empathy. It’s about imagining herself in another person’s place, she says.

Once, years ago, she was assigned to write about a woman who had lost three children in a mudslide. For weeks, Kelleher failed to compose a persuasive note requesting an interview. At last, “I stopped trying to see my own needs, which were to get an interview with her, and just went with extreme empathy.” Vividly picturing the woman’s grief, she told her something like, I kept waiting for a good time to contact you and realized there’s never going to be a good time for you. I have no story I want to tell—I just want to see if you have a story to tell. The woman immediately agreed to speak with her. “Once I embrace that kind of extreme empathy where you truly do stand in someone else’s shoes—where they are a person who exists outside of your own needs—then I can make a connection with them.”

Beck would undoubtedly approve. “True charisma is basically when you disappear and allow something loving to come through you for the other person,” she says. “It energizes you.”

Building generosity of spirit takes time. As an exercise, Beck suggests this: Leave a sum of money that’s “not inconsiderable” to you—$20, perhaps—in a place where lots of people pass by. Then watch inconspicuously until someone finds the cash. “See what their emotions are in the moment they find it, and in that moment of releasing that $20 bill, it’s like you tell yourself, I will put value out just to watch somebody else receive.”

Over the long haul, experts recommend practices such as metta, or loving-kindness meditation, in which you think kindly of others as well as yourself. Sharon Salzberg, who has helped popularize Buddhist meditation in this country, sums up loving kindness as follows: Sitting comfortably, with your eyes shut, repeat simple wishes in your head such as: May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, and may I live with ease. Imagine yourself doing all the above. Then change the pronoun—to he, she or they—and repeat the same phrases with someone else in mind, picturing them being safe, healthy and so on. Keep going with other people or groups of people in your life.

CONFIDENCE TO SPARE

As you might expect, it’s hard to be charming if you feel anxious, doubtful or self-critical. “When our internal voice starts criticizing us, lashing out, it can feel like we’re under attack,” Cabane writes. And just as in a physical assault, you can experience a fight-or-flight response fueled by stress hormones. As your heart pumps faster, your breathing accelerates, and so on, and “intelligent thinking shuts down.” Bye-bye, charisma.

Here, too, meditation may help. In working with clients, Cabane tells me, loving-kindness techniques have been key to squelching insecurities that dim personal appeal. “We have a culture that breeds self-criticism, and so interestingly… there’s a couple of my clients for whom the way to more authority and power was actually through self-forgiveness.”

In The Charisma Myth, Cabane also suggests that when negative thoughts arise, you try confidence-boosters such as these:

• “Assign a label to your negative experience: self-criticism, anger, anxiety, etc. Just naming what you are thinking and feeling can help you neutralize it.”

• “Don’t assume your thoughts are accurate. Just because your mind comes up with something doesn’t necessarily mean it has any validity.”

• “See your thoughts as graffiti on a wall or as little electrical impulses flickering around your brain.”

• “Think of all the previous times when you felt just like this—that you wouldn’t make it through—and yet clearly you did.”

Cabane is a fan of pumping yourself up before any social or professional situation when you want your charisma to be at full throttle. In the hours before, she says, stick to interactions that make you feel good about yourself, such as coffee with a friend. Enjoy an activity you do well, whether it’s playing tennis or tooting a tuba. And by all means, listen to music that revs you up—Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger,” say, or Cabane’s personal favorite, “Flying” from the movie Peter Pan.

Beck, meanwhile, has a visualization exercise meant to jump-start confidence and compassion all at once: Before an important gathering, imagine entering the room and being fearless. How would you feel physically? What would you say?

“What you practice in your mind, you tend to do in your body,” Beck says. And when you’re primed to be fearless, you’re also primed to care about others. “You’ll find out compassion is your natural state of being, and only fear pushes it away.”

WHAT FLAVOR ARE YOU?

Speaking of natural states, you’re bound to be more charismatic if you embrace the traits that come most readily to you.

Though charisma is always a mix of presence, warmth and power, Cabane says, that mix is different for everyone. The Dalai Lama’s charisma, for instance, is mostly about warmth. Colin Powell’s has much more to do with power. “Acquire the kinds of charisma that are at the Venn diagram center of what is most natural to you, what is most necessary for your goals, and what you enjoy most,” Cabane advises.

Sally Hogshead, author of How the World Sees You: Discover Your Highest Value Through the Science of Fascination, says to think about times when you enthralled others. Remember how they hung on your words and, more important, acted on your ideas. What were you saying that grabbed those people’s interest? How did you behave? What sorts of problems were you trying to solve? At those moments you were probably using natural assets—your attention to detail, perhaps; your ingenuity; your knack for breaking the ice with a spot-on impression of Johnny Depp.

And, quite likely, you were guided by passion. “When somebody starts talking about something they’re passionate about, they become dynamic,” Kelleher says. “They become magnetic because they’re communicating something that’s so pure, which is their absolute enthusiasm.”

So pay attention to the topics you’re most excited about; they’ll bring out your best. “When suddenly your voice picks up and you become more animated, that’s a clue that you’re on to something,” Kelleher says.

The more you let your natural advantages and interests lead you, the more confident and relaxed you’ll feel, Hogshead says. “And when your listener perceives you as being confident, relaxed and authentic, they’re more likely to listen to what you say, connect with you and take action on your words.” To remind yourself to use your strengths, she recommends silently reciting an “anthem” during conversations—a short phrase that sums up your “distinct value.” If you’re unorthodox and creative, for instance, your anthem might be “out-of-the-box ideas.” This can help you make an indelible impression, she says.

Eventually, whether your style is more like Ms. Jordan’s or Michael Jordan’s, all this will seem second nature. Take it from yet another charismatic person I’ve met: The Charisma Myth author herself.

Although Cabane was the “shyest teenager you can possibly imagine” back in the ’90s, she’s now the epitome of warmth and presence during phone calls. On video, telling a story about Marilyn Monroe, she has more than a whiff of the Blonde Bombshell’s star power. “The fact that I can function in society is proof” that developing your charisma can pay off, Cabane says. “For me it’s created a very, very rich life in all senses of the word—friendships, relationships, work. It really did transform me.”

http://www.success.com/article/want-more-charisma-it-all-starts-with-your-mind

7 Ways to Increase Your Charisma

Entrepreneur and CultureIQ are searching for the top high-performing cultures to be featured on our annual list. Think your company has what it takes? 

When you are able to leave a positive and lasting impression on anyone you come across, the world will become your oyster. The good news is that this charming talent is learnable and yours for the taking. This talent is widely knows as "charisma."

So let’s explore a number of effective ways that you can increase your levels of charisma.

Start With the Sweet Spot

I have a great way of connecting with people that I’ve found to work really well, anywhere I go. I like to ask people what they love doing or what fascinates them. And when they answer me, I then ask them, “What is the one key thing that impacted you in this area, or one key thing that you love about this passion? etc.."

And I don’t just do it to make them feel good, I do it because I love seeing people talk about what lights them up. I also love learning cool and interesting things from others.

You have to remember, everybody has a story.

So imagine walking into a room at a party, event or conference. I want you to imagine: digital numbers lit up above each and every persons head in that room and those numbers signify the years of knowledge, living and experience that person has had. A room of 100 people at an average age of 30 to 40 years old would have around 3,000 to 4,000 years of combined knowledge and insight into life.

That thought alone BLOWS MY MIND!

So why wouldn’t you go in with the idea of extracting and sharing the awesome things you can learn from each individual? I’ve had some of the most amazing experiences and opportunities come about by approaching people with this perspective.

So imagine, meeting every one in the room before the end of the night?

How incredible would the stories, lessons and opportunities be that come about from this?

That was just an example to shift your perspective a little when it comes to meeting new people. The problem is that most people feel like they don’t have the confidence to network with the masses because they don’t haven't developed the skills of building rapport and leaving a long lasting impression.

Well, what if you were able to set yourself up in a way that whenever you step into any room you bring with you a finely tuned advantage? What if you were able to keep your level of charisma at an all time high?

It’s possible, with these 7 keys you can increase your levels of charisma so that you leave a positive, long-lasting impression on others.

1. Stay Tuned

So first things first. When you’re talking with anyone you have to be ALERT. When I say alert, I mean completely present. If it’s a one-on one-conversation, you should leave them feeling like they’re the only one in the room.

If you are in a group, make the speaker feel important. If you are the speaker in the group, then be alert to everyone in that group when you deliver. Look at each person. This is something I used to struggle with until my fiancée pulled me up on it and now I make the effort to look and talk to each individual during the conversation.

This will absolutely change the impact you have in groups. You will notice a huge shift in conversations and will leave a lasting impression on multiple people instead of just one or two.

So stay alert.

2. Stay Smart and Sharp

If you’re a charismatic person, you’re usually less stressed, more successful and more attractive. Now, when I say attractive, I don’t mean sexy in the face or perfectly symmetrical. I mean you look like you look after yourself, and that you smile and know how to look good without over doing it. That’s charisma!

And the great news is, you can learn to be more charismatic. It’s not a genetic thing, it comes from learned behaviours.

A lot of leaders are looked at as charismatic because they stand tall, they have a strong belief in themselves, they love to learn and grow and they love to inspire and influence others.

3. Remember and Repeat

When you can repeat someone’s name or use it as an example when you’re talking to them, this is a great way of subtly complimenting them without the cheesy try-hard lines.

They will really respect that you remember their name because it makes them feel special, and worth talking to.

What I do when I meet people is I use a one-line command on myself just before I introduce myself to them.

And that's another key….. 

Always introduce yourself first, instead of sitting back waiting for someone else to introduce you.

And once you do and you ask for their name, talk to your subconscious and say this one-line command to yourself: “Remember his or her name.” Do it just before you go in for the introduction.

This forces you to focus on their reply, and it also activates the subconscious to pay attention so you can better recall their name from your memory later in the conversation.

When they say their name, repeat it once back to them and a few times over in your head.

Even drop their name in there now and then throughout the conversation, during every second or third question question. This is a great way to remember their name.

I do it all the time with a huge success.

4. Master Your Other Language

The next key to charisma would be to watch your body language. It’s proven that body language can increase your level of confidence dramatically.

Body language is a language any nationality can understand.

People unconsciously read your body movement and facial expressions as you approach them so if you have certainty and posture and you are authentically happy and positive then this will show up as charisma to others.

Something I learned during my training with Tony Robbins is, if you stand in a Superman’s pose, or Superhero pose, tall with your chin up, your feet shoulder-width apart, with your hands on your hips and are looking up towards the sky and you hold this for a few minutes, this is scientifically proven to alter your state and raise your level of confidence.

And confidence is a huge component of charisma. People will admire you for your confidence, usually because most people struggle with being confident themselves.

So remember this: Your body follows your mind. Your body is the unconscious.

That’s why people are able to visualize things and imagine things like temperatures and sensations and physically feel it, even when in reality nothing is there or happening to them in the physical. 

So now knowing “how you feel” can affect your facial expressions, and body language, wouldn’t it be a great idea to start imaging yourself with supreme confidence?

Like you’re a freakin' superhero! Get so good at this that you can activate this on command.

This can be achieved through practice.

5. Your Eyes Say Everything

People feel the confidence in you when you can hold good eye contact.

Just don’t be a freak about it. It’s not a stare off.

If you find it hard in the beginning to hold eye contact, stare right in the middle of someone’s head between their eyes where the top of their nose starts.

It looks like you’re staring straight into their eyes. That’s another neat little trick, so give it a try. You won’t feel nervous at all.

6. No More Complaining

Another key is to stay away from negative conversation. Make the effort every day to not complain.

Keep the conversation positive. Even if someone is negative and you keep sharing the light, they can’t help but to get a little bit of the residual positive on them to.

When they think of you, they remember you and your conversations as a positive experience.

Keep diverting the conversation to a positive note. So that way others around you know that you set the standard, expecting positive conversations and nothing less. 

7. Good Words Go Far

Genuinely compliment people. This takes practice. Most people don’t pay attention to detail and they miss out on the opportunity to compliment others. That’s why when you do compliment someone, (once again, genuinely), this really stands out.

I know women are better at this, so imagine hearing a compliment or two from a guy when it’s least expected?

And don’t forget to be a little more expressive when you talk, with your body language and with your facial expressions. You paint a better picture this way when you share stories. You want people you come across to remember your stories and the conversations you had with them over the boring stand still conversations they may have had that day with others.

Conclusion

So you now have a good number of things you can work with to increase your charisma.

If you can put this into practice you’ll have an amazing influence over others and be able to lead in a more compelling way.

There’s great power in being a highly charismatic person.

We unconsciously pick up, frame by frame on the facial expressions, body language and energy of the other person, so whoever is more influential, confident, charming or appealing, this is going to influence the other less certain and switched on individual.

Remember: Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm. That means having the passion, energy and spirit and sharing that with others to feel the same.

If this helps you to remember what it means to be charismatic then live by this.

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/247075

6 Ways to Learn to Radiate Charisma If You Don't Have It at First

Growing up, I was painfully shy. I struggled in new situations when I was around people I didn’t know. I didn’t speak up until I was about 10. Somewhere along the way I decided it would cost me too much to stay uncomfortable and invisible and I put myself out there.  

Today, as the founder of a firm that develops Fortune 500 CEOs, managers, entrepreneurs and their teams into strong communicators -- helping them to make connections, earn trust and build influence -- I have learned one thing they have in common. They all covet charisma and executive presence. The question they always ask is “Can you learn how to have presence and charisma?”

My early struggle with shyness has been a gift, as I know these things can be learned. This type of learning feels less risky for some. But for me and many of the executives I have worked with, this process of learning has been something of a reinvention. 

The 20th century celebrated business people with turbo-extroversion. Charisma doesn’t fit neatly into that box. It’s not about personality style, professional title or economic status. Researchers at MIT have figured out that connecting with people is what generates charisma. You don’t show up and spew charisma as a solo act. It’s actually a social skill, which like many others is learned. Here are six tips on how to access charisma:

1. Be attentive. Attention is the electrical current that connects us. It’s unattractive to be distracted when others are speaking, leading a meeting or just trying to have a conversation.The ability to notice when your mind wanders and redirect your thoughts back into the present moment is a leadership habit that takes constant practice.

2. Recognize humanness before rank. Leaders who prioritize the human connection are perceived to be more trustworthy than those who believe that their reputation should precede them. It doesn’t take long to look someone in the eye. I don’t mean the quick ping of making eye contact. People know when you only glance and quickly look past them, absorbed in your own mental agenda. I mean the feeling that someone has taken a moment to see who’s within. 

3. Draw people out. Charisma is measured by your ability to release others into a more enjoyable state of communicating. You do this by being curious, asking questions, listening and being positive. Upbeat people who are sincerely interested in what other people have to say have natural charisma -- and they are successful in negotiations and presentations. You have a serious handicap in conversation if you are not curious about the other person. 

4. Notice your second language. Some of the most important nonverbal signals for connection are using a warm tone of voice, exhibiting friendly facial expression, displaying open gestures and standing near and fully facing others. Even a warm handshake can trigger a connection.

5. Show strength in your vulnerability. Most of the executives who come to my studio don’t trust themselves to use their own experience and wisdom to connect with people. They are surprised to learn that they’ve have everything they need to be an authentic leader. The language of sharing a personal story is a medium for human connection. The ability to empower others by sharing what your life has taught you is an important part of authentic leadership.

6. Never try to fake it. The attempt to manipulate a connection is much more transparent than you would like to think. The brain knows incongruence in a millisecond. First and foremost, be a student. The real work of life is going within and developing your own self-awareness.  

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/234380

Shark Tank Star Barbara Corcoran's Top 2 Public Speaking Tips

Petrified of public speaking? Believe it or not, Barbara Corcoran used to be, too, and she says there are only two ways to overcome this common fear: “One’s a trick and one’s putting in the time.”

The millionaire celebrity investor’s intense, candid confidence and charisma shine through on Shark Tank. But it wasn’t always that way for the 65-year-old serial entrepreneur -- not back in 1973 when she founded real-estate brokerage The Corcoran Group, which now cranks out an estimated $5 billion in annual sales.  

“When I was very young I used to be horribly afraid to get up on stage and talk,” she told Entrepreneur.com on the set of the popular, entrepreneurship-themed reality TV show. “I couldn't find my place. I stuttered. I had that terrible embarrassment... the kind where people lose their voice, nerves are frayed, your heart rate goes up. All of it.”    

If you can relate -- and who among us can’t, to a certain degree -- these two pro tips from Barbara’s own playbook should help:

1. Force yourself to do it and often.  When Barbara realized public speaking terrified her, she decided to eat the frog, as they say, and deal with the frog in her throat.

“You know what I did to get over it? I signed up to teach real estate at night, several nights a week.” And teach she did for six straight years, up in front of a classroom full of people staring right at her. She also forced herself to accept “every speaking engagement that came along, and you bet more and more did over time.”

Countless conference keynotes, lectures and Shark Tank smackdowns and victory cries later, Barbara says she’s now super smooth at the delicate art of elocution. “Now, I can give a speech like I’m in my pyjamas in my own bed. No big deal.”

Well, most of the time, which brings us to Barbara’s next public speaking tip.

2. Tell your audience you’re scared. Barbara said the following trick “worked wonders” for her years ago, the first time she forgot the words to a speech. Talk about mortifying, but it doesn't have to be. Here’s how you turn it around and quick: “Just say, ‘I’m sorry. Give me a minute, please. I’m scared.’”

You’ll be surprised just how quickly your audience will identify with you, Barbara says, and like you even more. “When I told people how I really felt up there, and didn't just act like a big shot, like I’m so cool… I could feel the love come at me. The audience instantly came over to my side. Let people see you stumble. They love it.”

Feel your fear, fail, and don’t be afraid to fail on stage. Just don’t forget to recover and quickly. Oh, and here’s a little secret, Barbara says she sometimes still uses this little trick today. “I fake it. I stand there and I go, oh, uh, um [dramatic sigh].” Well, maybe not any more now that this article is live.

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/237696