Dealing With Loved Ones Having a Drinking Problem

Alcohol is a highly addictive substance, which leads to consequences that are not limited to the alcoholics alone, but also affects the ones around them. Acknowledging the fact that a loved one has a drinking problem is a challenging task, giving rise to several unpleasant emotions, such as irritation, frustration, shame, anger and self-blame.

Many times, people ignore the reality of the deep-rooted problem and are often in a denial mode, which can cause more damage to the family members and the alcoholic.

Tracy is the daughter of an alcoholic mother. She hardly remembers her mother being sober. A few months ago, her mother was admitted to the emergency room on account of acute cirrhosis of the liver, a result of drinking 350 units of alcohol per week for 15 years. Thoughts ran wild in her mind about how she too was responsible for this day and was consumed by a sense of overwhelming guilt that she failed to recognize the danger signs ahead of time. In fact, she never bothered to deal with the problem, and showed her anger and ignored the reality.

Tracy was speechless when she overheard the doctors saying that chances of survival were bleak due to multiple organ failure. She wished if she had made an effort to address the whole situation in a positive way.

What to avoid while dealing with an alcoholic

Coping with a loved one's addiction to alcohol can be an emotional rollercoaster. It is normal to feel awkward, and somewhat embarrassed while speaking to someone close about his or her addiction. Just because the alcoholic happens to be someone close, there is no guarantee that he or she will wholeheartedly cooperate with the individual offering help. It is a general observation that alcoholics deny that they even have a problem, but patience and perseverance go a long way in tackling such worrisome situations.

As in the case of other people, alcoholics differ in terms of needs and the manner in which they respond to treatment. Many times, it becomes difficult to identify the real reasons of addiction, as well as a person's willingness to seek counseling and treatment. However, it is important to consider the following points while dealing with an alcoholic loved one:

• Preaching abstinence or threatening to punish only makes matters worse.
• Emotional appeals may heighten feelings of guilt and the urge to drink.
• Protecting alcoholics from the adverse outcomes of their behavior is not advisable.
• Hiding bottles or sheltering them from possible situations involving alcohol is not a viable solution.
• Heated arguments with someone high on alcohol are of no use.
• Giving alcoholics a company by joining them for a drink is a big mistake.
• Assuming responsibility for someone else's behavior may not help.
• Sobriety cannot be forced, as it is a matter of choice.
• One needs help and encouragement to stay sober.
• Recovery does not happen overnight, rather, it is an ongoing process.

Road to sobriety

Accepting a drinking problem can be unpleasant and stressful for the entire family, not just for the alcoholic. But there is no reason to feel ashamed. Alcohol addiction affects millions of families across social classes, races, religions and cultures. It takes patience, trust and support to be sober again.

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When to Seek Help for a Drinking Problem

Drinkers never see addiction coming. It sneaks up on them slowly, making it difficult to differentiate when recreational drinking becomes problem drinking. Depending on an individual's tolerance level, it may take one week to several months for addiction to penetrate its roots.

Joe was leading a rustic-countryside life, but could not keep with the daily hardships and pitfalls, which soon made his life tough. During such taxing moments, a drink or two worked wonders to calm his agitated mind. In no time, the bedtime shots were not enough to soothe his nerves. He began to crave for another drink in the morning to get him going. However, Joe never found his drinking habit unusual. As the years rolled by, the sudden loss of his wife aggravated his alcohol consumption. Though he felt that alcohol was the only remedy, his condition got only worse with every glass.

His usual morning shots which extended till noon had impaired Joe's ability to steer the wheel and landed him into a deep ditch, causing severe injuries. Though he didn't take the whole thing very seriously, his daughter knew her father needed help to break free from the clutches of alcohol. Counting the empty cans and bottles in the trash was more than enough to identify his addictive drinking. It was time to talk to a counsellor.

Importance of identifying drinking problem in early stages

Many people who struggle with drinking problems manifest symptoms which are easily identifiable, which makes their near and dear ones more alert. However, there are many others whose warning signs are not quite apparent, so treatment as an option is never considered.

Therefore, the key to determine if someone is suffering from alcoholism is to carry out investigations based on the following behavioral traits:

• uncontrollable desire to drink
• high tolerance to alcohol and other signs of dependence
• negative outcomes of alcohol, such as job termination, legal hassles or troubled relationships
• frequent bouts of emotional ups and downs
• tendency to indulge in risky behaviors

Nevertheless, differentiating social drinking from problematic drinking may require people to disclose information about their chronic drinking habits and the impact on their lives. Sometimes, in an effort to gain valuable inputs, health care providers may design questionnaires to identify people with drinking problems.

Specific questions based on extensive research serve to make accurate assessments about alcohol use disorders in target audiences. This is very important because alcohol use disorder has less to do with the quantity of alcohol consumption and more with the consequences on a person's life. Results of such screening questionnaires form the basis of further clinical assessments.

As a thumb rule, women who have more than three drinks in roughly two hours or seven each week are said to be at a higher risk of alcoholism. In the case of men, the upper limit is four drinks a day or 14 per week. Also, it is highly recommended to have two or three alcohol-free days each week.

Leading alcohol-free life

Alcohol addiction cannot be wished away without making any effort. It needs the support of professionals who are trained to help people get sober. The key to staying sober is obtaining the right information on how to safeguard oneself from addiction while caring for one's physical as well as mental health.

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