The Block Roller Coaster

I hate the word "blocks" 

Would you like to know why?

Mostly because the word itself is a block. Just the mere fact that you are telling me you are blocked is a block!

I am blocked...

Possibly the strongest affirmation in the world, guaranteed to make you stay right where you are. It stops all forward motion because you start to obsess about it. It's all you can think and talk about! You live it and breathe it in every day searching for that one piece of magical information that will get rid of it.

So you stay blocked because you THINK you are blocked!

I just hate that word.

Plus, even if you do figure out what it is, you still have that small voice in the back of your mind that wonders if you really did find out what it was because a few months from now you'll find yourself in another dark place and the "block" roller coaster starts all over again!

So here's what I do...

I replace the word "block" with "distractions"

What is distracting you from attaining your dreams?

Let's start by writing down what is distracting you right now.

• You have work to do for your boss?
• Your dysfunctional childhood memories can't get out of your head?
• Your friends told you that you can't?
• Bad relationship?
• No money in the bank?
• You are sick?

Distractions.

Let's take a look at that last one... you're sick. You are too sick to start moving towards your dream.

OK, I respect that. Being sick is a HUGE distraction! I am a breast cancer survivor and chemotherapy, radiation and operations were a HUGE distraction. Being sick for two years was horrible! However, I never let my illness prevent me from writing my blog, talking with friends, or consulting with clients... all of which brings me incredible joy. Life is just too damn short to not live in your joy.

So what is distracting you?

Lack of money?

There's a good one!

"I don't have enough money to start"

OK... fine... your bank account has a $1.50 in it. I get that.

I also understand that the internet is free and you can do some research on your dream (or your current distraction) without spending a dime. TONS of information there on every topic you can possibly imagine.

What is your HEART telling you to do? Your gut? Your inner voice?

What was your knee jerk reaction when I asked what is distracting you? What was the first thing that popped into your mind?

Start there.

Choose to move forward through your distractions.

Choose to feel the sun on your face, have more than enough money in your bank account, a healthy body and a happy relationship. Choose this in your mind and then feel the results. Smile about it. Daydream about it. Where would you go if your dream was given to you RIGHT NOW? Daydream about that.

Do that every day.

Think POSITIVE forward-moving thoughts that include loving words such as certain, capable and happy!

Eventually, people will magically float into your life that will help you get where you want to go, and the negative ones who are holding you back will float out.

You will stumble across websites and articles that will give you an idea. You'll see something on television or hear it in a song on the radio. Distractions that took over your life yesterday will disappear today and you'll be walking in a new direction.

Then you'll be on your way!

So stop saying that you are blocked!!!!! Your are NOT blocked, you are just temporarily distracted!

Your life might look gloomy and miserable now, but remember that the sun always comes out after a rain storm so hang in there.

Do what I do... when I get into that dark place and random negative situations hit me, I look at the situation as my launching pad to something even greater! Sure I was sick for two years recovering from breast cancer, but if I hadn't gone through it... I wouldn't be here with you right now!

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Block-Roller-Coaster&id=8705676

How to Make Dreams Come True - 10 Practical Ways

• OUTLINE YOUR SET GOALS: Not having a goal, is like driving without a destination, you will exhaust both yourself and the car too, hence to begin you need to have clearly defined goals, objectives that you want to achieve, when you have set goal(s) it as if you are driving towards a known destination.

• DON'T BE DISTRACTED: This world is filled with distractions and attractions. Do not underestimate the power of distraction, consider this: what do you think could happen to a driver who continues to look through his window while driving in the high way?

He may lose control, or may be hit by another vehicle, so when you are riding on the high way to reach your goal always avoid being distracted or attracted to anything that will slow down your pace or at worst stop you. Distractions can come in many ways; it can come in form of associations or individual habits.

• FINDING THE RIGHT ASSOCIATE: A good associate is like a co-pilot, he stays alert with you. Note that he is not a co driver but a co-pilot, this is because when a driver is tired he pulls over at the Conner of the road and rest but when a pilot is tired he does not even think of pulling over or parking he must reach his destination and hence both in his absence and presence a good co-pilots will provide the support needed.

So the need to associate with people having the same frame of mind cannot be over emphasised. Associating with people who are already where you want to be will make you live and behave as if you have achieved your goals.

• LIVE IN THE FUTURE: "To catch a monkey you need to act like a monkey" so says an African proverb, yes indeed you need to learn how to jump and dive. You need to start thinking everyday as if you have achieved goals and dreams.

• MAKE A LIST OF HUDDLES: After outlining your goals can you make also a list of things that can possibly stop you from achieving your goals. This is necessary because anyone who fights a battle without a well defined enemy might be in for an unusual surprise.

Hence outlining and understanding problems is the key to solving them. Outlining them will help you tackle them with the right weapon.

• WORK ON YOUR SET GOALS: Goals are not investment where you just put your money and watch it grow. It requires daily attention if it is to be attained, every work has tools which makes it possible to be done, for example if you are trapped in a dense jungle you may need a cutlass and a GPS in other to find your way home, selecting the right tools can help you achieve your dreams.

Imagine what could happen to a student who ought to write a biology exam but has been practicing only chemistry, it is necessary that one attain a level of balance in other to achieve his goals.

• BE HUMBLE AND DO NOT CREATE ENEMIES: If you defecate on the road while embarking on a journey, definitely you will meet flies while returning. Do not step on people while you climb your social ladder, this is so because successful people needs help like every other person.

"One thing is somersaulting another thing is landing properly "when you get to the top there is nowhere else to go except down, hence if ever you created enemies while climbing, these ones may get back at you when you slide a little bit off the top. They may even drag you down totally instead of helping you.

• BE PREPARED FOR UNFORESEEN OCCURRENCES: Many a men say: "I wish I could see tomorrow" hence do not expect everything to go as you have planned, unforeseen occurrences has been a constant part of the human history, hence preparing for it and knowing that it may happen not only helps you to deal with it but also makes you not to feel too disappointed when it happens and hence quit.

• USE YOUR PAST TO CREATE A BETTER FUTURE: A good driver will always consider his side mirror, not because he is driving backwards but because he wants to get a balance view of the road and understand how best to drive, likewise our pasts or mistakes should be used as warning examples and help us to create a good future,

• DON'T GIVE UP: It is as simple as that, yet very difficult. If you apply the above given suggestions it may be very difficult for you to quit and also if you know where you are headed problems will not make you quit, setbacks will only even make you even stronger.

Remember a the value of gold appreciates, only when it has been refined in a furnace, a good captain is made not on a calm sea but on a very rough sea.

Problems and difficulties can only make you stronger, SEE YOU AT YOUR GOAL.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Make-Dreams-Come-True---10-Practical-Ways&id=9823833

Proven Strategies That Decrease Distraction and Increase Self-Motivation

WHY IS KEEPING YOURSELF MOTIVATED SUCH HARD WORK?

We live in a busy world with so many distractions, making it easier for us to get sidelined and lose track of what is important to us. We lose sight of what we want and what we should be doing. If there are a lot of distractions that keep you from doing what you need to be doing, then you need to make some changes.

WHAT DOES SELF-MOTIVATION MEAN?

Remez Sasson, founder and owner of Success Consciousness: Mental Tools for a Great Life, says the following about motivation:

"Motivation is the inner power that pushes you toward taking action toward achievement. Motivation is powered by desire and ambition; if these two principles are absent then motivation is absent too. You may want something or feel that you want to achieve a certain goal; however if the desire and ambition are not strong enough, you lack the push, the initiative, and the willingness to take the necessary action, your chances of success are limited because your motivation is weak. When there is motivation, there is initiative, direction, courage, energy, and the persistence to follow your goals."

KEEPING YOURSELF MOTIVATED:

Being motivated means that you are aligned with your goals and values so that you are clear on what is important to you and why it is important to you. This helps in maintaining discipline and focus. In order to do this successfully, take the time to determine those values and prioritize the ones that are most important to you.

Keeping yourself motivated means that you have a clear vision of how you and your life will be different once you achieve your goals. More importantly, you use the visualization to generate the powerful feelings associated with successfully achieving the goal. Developing this important skill will allow you to see yourself implementing those important action steps that you need to take in order to achieve your goal.

Rehearsing, preparation, breaking things down into smaller more manageable steps; becoming more organized, determining what is urgent and non-urgent, and what will become urgent if not addressed, will go a long way towards reducing distraction and embracing the hard work that is needed to get you where you want to go. Using the power of visualization with any one of these steps will keep you focused and enhance your self- motivation.

Keeping yourself motivated requires a high level of self-discipline, self-honesty and self-monitoring to deal with the distractions that can get in your way. In monitoring your thoughts, actions and behaviors you accept the fact that you alone are accountable and responsible for the outcome of your success.

Motivated people are able to do what needs to be done, without influence from other situations or people. They do not give up when challenged, as they are able to rely on their own strength, reason and resilience. Although you can certainly benefit from encouragement and support, at the end of the day your achievement of success will come down to your inner abilities. To be self-motivated means that there is no outside force or person pushing you to become what you want to. The locus of control is within you and not based on others.

MAKE THE EFFORT TO GET MOTIVATED:

Take the effort to make sure that you are completely absorbed and laser-focused in what you are doing by following these important principles:

• Take care of your distractions - pay attention to what trips you up and gets in the way of you achieving success
• Take the time to find ways to quiet the mind; slowing down and listening to the voice within goes a long way to helping you to know what is important
• Mirror and copy role models. The fact is that success leaves clues and guidelines for you to follow. Implement and do what successful people do.

JUST A FEW SELF-MOTIVATION TIPS:

Here are a few tips to aid you in staying motivated:

1. Fill your mind with positive information, visual aids, pictures, words of encouragement and quotes; read, listen and view information that feeds your mind and helps you to stay focused on what you want to achieve.

2. Surround yourself with positive people and protect your vibrational energy. Stay away from energy vampires - those negative people who pull you down, drain your energy and deflate your spirit.

3. Pay attention to your self-talk. Ensure that your inner dialogue is positive, supportive, encouraging and stays connected to your wise mind

4. Cultivate laughter and play in your life. What you do with your down-time (scheduling down-time) is just as important as what you do when you are working towards your goals.

5. Hire a Coach or connect to a Mentor - someone who has achieved what you aspire to who can show you the steps to get what you want and where you want to go, as well as hold you accountable.

The whole concept of self-motivation and success lies within you. There is no external force and power that can MAKE you stay motivated. Motivation comes from within you and no one else. We all lose our ability to concentrate and focus from time to time; address those motivational slumps and eliminate the things that distract and take away your focus by making your self-motivation a priority. When your self-motivation is a priority you enhance your overall state of mental health and general sense of well-being. You become more self-sufficient and self-reliant, both of which go a long way to boost your confidence and enhance your self-esteem.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Proven-Strategies-That-Decrease-Distraction-and-Increase-Self-Motivation&id=9605136

Build an Influential Lifestyle

In today's society there is so much noise that to compete you have to be louder in every aspect of your life. You are competing with social events and other distractions and most importantly what is influencing your decision-making and the barriers that make it hard to reach your full potential. Your goal should be to create an identity for yourself that involves yourself with great leaders, and that channels your expectations and your goals and most importantly your power to control the influential lifestyle you're seeking. It is very important to understand that you can't have everyone as your friend. You must select only a few and I mean only a hand-full of people into your environment.

What you need to accomplish is a ground game to access the necessary information from these groups of people you surround yourself with, and I'm talking about the LEADERS, the SMART, and most SUCCESSFUL, POWERFUL RISK takers that you can find. For there is where you will find many solutions and ideas. Once you discover these leaders in your circle, create firewalls around them by having the greatest relationship with them as possible, this will allow you to break into other markets of great leaders and people in the marketplace.

Example: Find the people who are really influential in the business that you want to start, and let's say you don't have the funds to start the business, which can ordinarily be tough. Find them and connect with them, grab their ATTENTION and don't let GO! You have to pass the gate- keeper, so call them, email them and call them again and email them again and repeat! Sound persistent? You should be a billboard that they can't stop looking at. Remember successful and powerful people who are very influential want to be surrounded by other people who want to be like them. If you are loyal to seeking their attention it will give them a sense of urgency to connect. However you must remember that these powerful and influential people hear a lot of noise so you have to be louder than that noise, and quite frankly that will be your way of life once you build that relationship.

So be LOUD and go out to create a lot of noise and get the ATTENTION that you need to be POWERFUL and INFLUENTIAL to create the lifestyle you need for yourself. And don't doubt yourself! And my question to you is are you going to go out there and be GREAT? And are you going to STAY GREAT! Remember it's all about the connections that have INFLUENCE!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Build-an-Influential-Lifestyle&id=9573676

Spend Time With Yourself Everyday

Brian Tracy once remarked that anything that exists is already getting outdated. He calls this the Law of Obsolescence. This is why some celebrated accomplishments become outdated after sometime. It may interest you to know that some things that were discarded because they are considered outdated were celebrated in the past. The implication of this is that even the most noble and celebrated accomplishments in modern time will become outdated in the future. This is why success is said to be a process, not a destination. If you continue to celebrate what you have achieved without striving to accomplish more things, a time will come when you will have nothing to celebrate.

This is why experts are of the view that the largest room in the world is the room for improvement. The quest to ensure that there are better alternatives and substitutes for every achievement before it is outdated accounts for why the quest for success is continuous. Perhaps, scientists have the best understanding of this view. Their efforts to continuously improve and upgrade the quality of living of humanity with new innovations have led to numerous discoveries and inventions to the extent that if the greatest scientist who died a few decades ago were raised to life, he would not be able to understand, let alone explain, some of the most recent scientific and technological breakthroughs, even in his field.

One of the consequences of this is that the world gets more complex as time grows older. In the middle of this, man's attention focuses more on things outside himself. Most times, he gets so busy and distracted to the extent that he has no time to think about himself or his life because he cannot spend some time with himself alone. This is not the first time humanity is having this experience. In the ancient Greece, for instance, the advent of Socrates in the scene of philosophical speculation heralded the dawn of the golden age in the history of Western Philosophy. His goal was to make man the centre and subject of philosophical speculation, unlike the sages of his time in Athens.

In addition to the distractions that are occasioned by scientific and technological breakthroughs, an easily observable truth in contemporary time is that there are multiple tasks that compete for every individual's limited time and limited resources. As a result, many, if not most, of the tasks that stare at you cannot be performed, even when you want to do so. Responsibilities that stem from your family, friends, job, religion, society, etc are so much that they also constitute very strong sources of distractions. This is why man is continuously moving away from himself, even when he gets closer to other people. Man has continued to drift from himself in thought and action. He is preoccupied with everything but himself.

When you are (too) busy, as most people are, spending some time with yourself may be deleted from your to-do list. People try to get closer to others while they remain far away from themselves. It is very important and rewarding to spend some time alone every day. No matter how busy you are, you should endeavour to spend at least 10 minutes alone in silence every day. There are some benefits of observing this practice. The first immediate benefit is that it reliefs you of some stress and helps you enjoy a healthy life by renewing and rejuvenating you. Though sleep is a very wonderful way to renew yourself, you still need to give your mind a break when you are awake.

When you do not spend time with yourself, you wear down your mind, body, spirit and soul, thereby causing stress and disease. Spending time with yourself alone is an easy, undemanding, fast and highly effective way of calming yourself. In addition to this, it affords you the opportunity to look inward and reflect on important issues about your life in order to evolve valuable and effective solutions to them. In the absence of this practice, your perspective becomes clouded. Hence, spending time alone helps you make quality decisions on important issues about your life, especially those that shape your destiny. It also helps you to get a better focus and direction in life, thereby helping you achieve a happy life.

The most important advantage from spending time alone is, perhaps, the spiritual benefits you will derive from doing so. It makes you sensitive of the world beyond, irrespective of your religious affiliation, and also helps you to create and enjoy quality relationship with the transcendent beings (with positive powers) in the world beyond (whose helps are fundamental to your success). Whenever you feel confused, lost and need clarity in life, one of the things you should do is retreating to being alone. It may interest you to note that you may find the best answers and solutions to the greatest challenges of life you have when you spend time with yourself.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Spend-Time-With-Yourself-Everyday&id=9489275

5 Most Common Distractions Many People Are Challenged With Every Single Day

We live in a world where almost everyone is in a rush - whether it's getting to a meeting venue on time, submitting work notes on schedule, beating traffic so as not be late to work or school - these are just some of the common scenarios that mirror how hectic our schedule have become. With so many things to do in 24 - hours, we seldom get the chance of getting everything done. When did things get so complicated???

Sometimes you have to sit back and ask yourself honestly: When was the last time you felt good because you were able to clear out your to do list? Can't remember? That's not surprising at all.

Now, if we've been spending hours rushing to get from one meeting to another or working from one project to the next, why is it that we never ever get to finish something up? This is because there are so many distractions in our world now and we are constantly multi tasking. Ultra productive people know that in order to accomplish a massive amount and, importantly, to feel great about their accomplishment & balanced, you have to be single minded in your approach. Eliminate distractions so we can focus on completing the things which really matter.

Here are what I know to be some of the most common distractions many people are challenged with every single day.

#1 Unnecessary Meetings

You know there is a problem in our working culture when there are books out now called 'Death By Meeting'. This is a book by Patrick Lencioni and it is awesome. Have you ever wondered how much time you have wasted being in meetings where your attendance seemed pointless or a waste of time? Where it just seems to be a meeting for the sake of a meeting which goes on for ages made up of mostly dribble and then at the end no real actionable items coming out of it?

Shoot me now. Here are some tips to make meetings effective:

Make sure there is a point and a clear desired outcome that must be reached before you go into the meeting

Try having stand up meetings

Set a time limit, where as soon as that time is up, everyone gets up and leaves - there is nothing like a bit of pressure to get a result

Ask: do I really need to be involved in this meeting?

Ask for the agenda prior to the meeting and that the pre-read materials be sent to you

#2 Email

We are in a culture now where people expect instant responses. Someone sends an email and if you don't respond within 10 minutes they are wondering if you are OK? This is a productivity killer. How many times a day do you check your email, honestly? 10 times a day, 20? Is it open all the time, just desperately waiting for that next earth shattering email to arrive? Seriously, most emails are a waste of time and don't get me started on the need for people to cc the entire world in on emails.

Top tips:

Set specific times each day where it is only then that you check email. For me it is 11am in the morning and 3pm in the afternoon and I check it for about 30 minutes at a time.

Condition others not to expect instantaneous responses from you (unless this is your job of course). If you don't condition others, they will expect you to live by their conditions

Set up rules and filters

Get someone else to check them for you. I have a virtual assistant who manages my email for me and sorts them into one of four boxes: Action, review, Archive, delete. I have given her a clear set of rules to follow and it clears the clutter. (Stay tuned for a later blog on how to do this effectively)

Finally, turn off that bloody pop up you've got mail or the 'ding' or the little envelope. As soon as it is there, you know you can't help but check it. Curiosity will get the better of you

#3 Social Media Sites

Can't resist looking at your phone or logging in to your pc to check your Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube? Social media is fun but it can be a huge time-waster especially when you begin to lose track of how much time you spend updating people with your status posts, reading your timeline or tweeting people back.

You can help minimize the time you spend with social media by designating a set amount of time each day for online social sites.

In 15-20 minutes, you can update your status or send a few tweets and once the time is over, log-out so you don't get distracted by social media notifications and start working.

It will take a lot of self-control to accomplish this, you know it will, but you will thank yourself for practicing restraint especially after you plough through one project to another.

#4 Office Chit-Chat and Random Distractions

Ever noticed how a 5 minute small-talk with a co-worker can stretch into 30 minutes, even a full hour? There is nothing wrong with socializing but when it begins to eat up your time and affect your productivity, then you have to do something about it. Minimize office chit-chat by communicating to colleagues your need for focus time. Hang a sign/symbol on your doorknob or outside your cubicle to discourage people from chatting with you and to send a signal that this isn't a good time to interrupt your work and learn this phrase:

"Bill, I would love to talk to you, but I have an urgent deadline right now, can we chat later?"

People will tend to leave you alone when you say you have something urgent to complete with a deadline. We are conditioned to respond to urgency in this day and age.

#5 Multi Tasking

I should really have this at the top. How big is your to-do list? Massive I bet, if you are like most people. Now I actually don't like to do-lists, they are ineffective and can be very overwhelming, there are much better systems based on outcomes, values and priorities, but this is for another time. Still, even this is better than nothing for most people who just let all of the things they have to get done rattle around endlessly in their heads and live in this constant state of reaction and drama.

I am only going to give you one tip here. There are many more I can add but I reckon that this is so vital that if you did it, it could completely change your life. It is one question:

"What is the one thing I could do right now, that if I did it and made major progress would do more to advance me in my life and career than anything else? "

Now, do that one thing.

Then, you guessed it, ask the same question again, and do that one thing.

Then ask again

You get the point right????

If you let them, these distractions will suck away a major portion of your life and can hold you back from reaching your potential in work and in life.

Here are the 3 real themes to practice in your life:

Focus on simplicity and taking strategic action on one thing at a time.

Set up your environment around you and systems to eliminate distractions and ensure you stay on track.

Remember, that you are not playing life like most people are, you are extraordinary and are not going to follow like a sheep what everyone else does. So condition the people around you to your way of working. If you don't, they will expect you to conform to their way and society's norms which are totally ineffective.

One of the greatest things I learned when I first started out on my growth journey at a young age was to become ultra productive and it is a skill set and habit which has taken me a long long way and allowed me to outperform the majority of others around me. Any successful person loves time management. Do yourself a favour and become a time master.

http://ezinearticles.com/?5-Most-Common-Distractions-Many-People-Are-Challenged-With-Every-Single-Day&id=8961581

Is Your Life a Circus? Balance Work and Life by Becoming a Ringleader!

There's a popular phrase that states "It's not my circus and these are not my monkeys." But do you ever feel like your life IS a circus and the monkeys are actually the least of your worries? Do you bring work home regularly or go in early to "catch up"? Do you fall into bed at night thinking, "I'd give anything to just do NOTHING for a day"? Do you long for the chance to sleep in or just go to bed before midnight? Or wish you could read more than the first three to five pages of a book?

The first thing to do is to admit that your life IS actually a circus and not only are the monkeys yours, so are the tigers, the acrobats, the dancing bears, elephants, and the clowns! The good news is that like any circus, all it takes is a good ringleader to put all the acts in their place so that everything runs smoothly.

The most important concept for attaining work/life balance is to identify pending tasks and activities and then relegate them to their proper ring or in this case, the proper time period. When you have clear boundaries or rings for each focus (act) in your life, it's much easier to take charge and be the ringleader so that you can have multiple acts in one day but they all run smoothly.

Ring 1 for most people will be their work activities. Ring 2 is probably your family. Part of the reason most people feel they are constantly on the go is that these may have overrun their ring and are now showing up and stealing the spotlight or disrupting other rings. It may help to spend a week or two documenting how you spend your time at any given moment of the day and evening.

Tracking what you actually are doing during each hour of the day will give you a pretty clear idea which acts are taking up most of your day. Most people have two or three big top acts, typically work, family, and friends. After you do your time tracking, decide which focus is your center ring right now. Which focus takes up the most time in your day on a regular basis? Is it work, family, school, friends?

Does this fit with how you thought you were allotting your time? Do you want to have a different main focus or center ring? If work is your center ring and it's taking up 10 or more hours per day on a regular basis, you may need to set some boundaries to keep it contained. Everyone should also have a ring for personal or time for self. This is the time you spend doing things you enjoy, things that renew your spirit.

A good ringleader is able to keep each focus or act contained within their "ring" so that focus transitions smoothly from one ring to the next without just one act hogging the spotlight (your attention). If you like visual representations, go ahead and trace circles on a sheet of paper and label them Ring 1 (center ring), Ring 2 (left), Ring 3 (right), etc. You can even write in blocks of time in each circle if that helps you.

The one other important thing to keep in mind are the monkeys and the clowns. These are the everyday distractions and the time wasters. They will run into your center ring, demand the spotlight, and wreak havoc if you let them.

Make a list of what these are for you during the day. It could be social media, email, non-stop phone calls, co-workers or friends that drop by your home or office without warning, calls from your kids after school while you're at work, just about anything that pulls your attention away from your focus.

So, to be a good ringleader, include time for yourself daily and that includes sufficient time for sleep so you can be rejuvenated. Let each act run as autonomously as possible within their ring when your focus is elsewhere, by putting systems in place. Set boundaries to keep those monkeys and clowns in their ring or think of a way to appease them quickly and send them on their way before they disrupt your show.

Is this overwhelming? Need help in recognizing exactly what you need and want? Maybe it's time to look into partnering with a life coach. Together the two of you will devise a plan in order to reach your goals. Sometimes we all need that unbiased person that we are accountable to.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Is-Your-Life-a-Circus?-Balance-Work-and-Life-by-Becoming-a-Ringleader!&id=9305673

4 Tips to Turn Off the Distractions

Find out what sidetracks you and prepare to address it head on  

Think the grass is greener on the other side of your attention? Think again. The more you tolerate distractions, the more difficult it is to deliver timely and quality output in business.

But maybe you think of your distractions as multitasking. That’s really a myth, according to a recent article published by The New Yorker. 

More than 20 years of research by Dr. David E. Meyer, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan and one of the world’s leading experts on multitasking, reveals that “when you think you’re doing two things at once, you’re almost always switching rapidly between them, leaking a little mental efficiency with every switch.” Bet you thought you were really doing more with less, right? Wrong.

Cope with distractions and increase productivity with these four tips:

1. Raise your standards and take control. The same kind of thinking that tethered you to distractions won’t help you to avoid them. This means you must change the way you think about time, value and results. Make them first priorities, not afterthoughts. 

Remember that no distraction is worth compromising your integrity, professional reputation or the bottom line. In the end, only your results matter. Excuses won’t.

2. Anticipate the kinds of distractions likely to sidetrack you. Make a list. For example, if you know that constantly checking email will usurp two hours of your day—write that down first—it's a key distraction to avoid. Pick one 15-minute block later in the day to scan your inbox and stick to it. Don’t respond to your email until after crunch time is over, when time is on your side.

Can’t resist incessantly checking your Facebook feed for updates? Don’t fall for the head fake: It won’t give you a second wind. It’ll only increase your commitment to being distracted. Use Facebook to completely decompress after you’ve completed your tasks. Don’t log in until you can unplug.

If you know that Chatty Cathy comes in every Monday morning to regale you with her weekend shenanigans, be prepared to put your foot down. Advise that while you’d love to hear about her incredible weekend, you have some important things to accomplish first. Be polite, but firm.

3. Plan, commit and execute. If you want to successfully avoid distractions, you can’t tackle them haphazardly. You’ll need a solid plan of attack.

Prepare your plan in advance—in writing. It should include a list of key distractions, strategies for avoiding them and a plan for confronting ones that can't be avoided. Be thoughtful in your approach. Brainstorm tough scenarios. Role-play to increase your comfort level. Review your plan first thing in the morning. Focus on outcomes and strategies before you do anything else.

Think you’re all done? Not so fast. Drafting a great plan is not enough to inspire productivity. You need to take action. Commit to playing full-out and successfully accomplishing the goal, no matter what. Encourage yourself to do the heavy lifting. Exercise discipline and be prepared to dig your heels in. The trenches are where the real work begins.

4. Cultivate sensory acuity. Just because you create a plan—even a really good one—doesn’t mean that it’s going to work. Therefore, learn to cultivate sensory acuity by paying closer attention to the results you’re getting. Ask yourself whether you’re moving closer or farther away from your goal based on your efforts. Be honest. It’s the only way you’ll learn to connect the dots. 

Sensory acuity is a muscle like any other. It becomes stronger with increased use. By sharpening your analytical skills and becoming “acutely aware,” you’ll learn to detect the devil in the details. And, believe me, high performers are intimately acquainted with the devil in the details.

Key takeaways: Coping with distractions can be challenging. But don’t be afraid to confront and overcome them. You have the power to stand up to people, situations and ideas that wreak havoc on your productivity.

Choose to be more productive and embrace productivity for the long haul.

http://www.success.com/article/4-tips-to-turn-off-the-distractions

Be Great in Relationships

How to be great in relationships?

Oh, I love this [question].

I’m going to wing this

How to be great in a relationship begins with having the intention to be great.

I know that sounds simple, but you meet so many people who jump into a relationship that they’re so excited about… to find their boyfriend or girlfriend, to get married, to have that husband, that wife or partner and they’re so excited, yet then over a period of time what ends up happening? They get caught up in a routine and get to know the person better and develop habits, responses and pet peeves. And all of a sudden they stop seeing the magic in the very person they met with and had intention to grow this great relationship with.

We’re going to be amazing together. People stop putting great intention and great efforts into their relationships and over a period of time they feel ho-hum and they start to die.

You and I both know that, so the challenge is this… if you want to have a great relationship your intention must be to be great, to make the other person feel great and to build a great life together.

Now, I know it’s not always easy. I’m married and have the same challenges as anyone else. It’s difficult sometimes to make sure you’re as empathetic as you can be, to be as present as you can be, to be as understanding, loving, perfect, amazing, passionate and spontaneous whatever it is, everybody struggles the same in relationships.

What can we do about it?

I think there are three very powerful intentions that if you had in your relationship, no matter what that relationship is like now, it will improve it. Even if you already have an extraordinary relationship, a little more of these three things will improve and fire up that relationship.

First is attention.

1. People want to feel true attention from you.

This is a major challenge today. I know a lot of people and they literally can’t be in a conversation and connect anymore. They can’t even keep their eyes on each other and pay attention to each other without looking around at everything else going on and all the distractions. Or worse they pick up their phone… Are you in a relationship with someone who just can’t even have a conversation with you for 10 minutes without having to look at their phone? Doesn’t that drive you nuts? That’s the challenge today.

And if you’re the person who learns to take this mentality and have a true intention for people, you are completely enveloping them with energetic presence, being right there with them. Being present, engaged and enthusiastic for the relationship, the moment the connection and you’ll stand out from everybody else and your partner, spouse, lover, wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend, they will feel you again.

The challenge right now, the disconnects in relationships are driven mostly by distraction today. The inability for people to look eye to eye, to feel each other, to sense each other and be present in the moment. So what ends up happening? The relationship goes astray and people start trying to “show love” to another person. What do they do? They go out and buy flowers. They buy diamonds. They say ‘hey, look honey I emptied the trash.’ ‘Look honey I washed your things.’ ‘Look honey, I ran your errand for you.’ They’re trying to say look I did something for you. They’re trying to show something, a gift to that person to recreate something, to have that love.

All people want to be shown is attention and we forget that. They don’t need something from you.

Jesse Jackson said a long time ago, “People don’t want your presents they want your presence.”

He meant they don’t want your gifts, your stuff, they want you; fully engaged, fully charged, fully connected with them again. If you’re going to improve any relationship all of the improvement will come from a greater degree of attention and presence, gifted to that person to that moment. Learn to be vitally there and present with them again. Learn to have an entire dinner without looking at your phone. Can you do it? Go out for a walk without bringing your phones. Go out and do something together with no phone, no distraction, just the two of you to have a moment together.

If you don’t think you can do that then you’re addicted and you need to seek digital help. It’s like, do not tell me you can’t have a conversation…

Look, I know you think you’re important and we all think we’re really important, but there is no person in the world who cannot learn to have a few hours where they can be human again with the people that they love. That will be the best gift you can ever give. If you want your relationships to be fiery, zesty and spontaneous again, than those things can only happen in a moment where you’re free from other distractions where you can be with each other and truly experience something.

Think about it, the best memories you probably have in all of your relationships were times when the two of you were just in a moment together where you were truly fully there, vibrantly connected, in the moment and present together in one way or another. It could be chaos going all around you, but the two of you connected and there was this feeling and a sense that was like bam! You were there for each other. Attention… you have to have the intention to give extraordinary amounts of attention to the people that you love.

By the way, this is so vital because if you don’t have attention, think about it… all the ills of relationships come in when people aren’t giving themselves attention anymore. You can’t show respect to somebody unless you give them attention. You can’t pick up on their non-verbal cues, guestimate or feel or sense or mirror their emotions or energetic level. You don’t know if someone is down or up unless you’re attentive to them. So all ills in relationship begin with giving better, more present and vital attention to the person that you love.

2. The next intention to have is that you have to give more appreciation.

Did you know most people in the corporate world, in jobs to the high degree, about 70% of people that leave a job leave because they didn’t feel appreciated?

Well, a relationship is work too. And people leave relationships because they don’t feel appreciated. I don’t mean appreciated like, ‘hey honey, thanks for washing the dishes.’ (By the way, you should say that but it’s bigger than that). The appreciation of the totality of the person— that’s what’s magical in relationships. To appreciate their struggles, the small things that drive you crazy as well as, not just the things that they do for you. If the only things you appreciate in a relationship are the things that somebody is doing for you than what you’re doing is you’re appreciating the fact that you have a servant.

That is not what love is. Love is the appreciation of the totality of a person, to appreciate their challenges, struggles, their dark sides, the frustrations they have in their lives, the stupid things that they do, the things that drive you crazy.

To understand, to truly appreciate somebody is to accept them at a level that they’ve never felt accepted at before. To appreciate the totality of who they are… yes, show appreciation. You ought to be saying thank you honey in a million ways to show them that, tell them that, whisper in their ear, grab their arm, to give them a hug, to make love, all those ways you can show appreciation. Those ways are great right, but it’s much bigger than that.

You have to appreciate their soul. You have to appreciate who they are as a human being and have such extraordinary respect and appreciation for that, that they feel that from you. Because that’s a challenge today, a lot of people try to show appreciation with a gift but they never show it of that other person’s humanity and once you do that you realize it’s not just showing appreciation for what they do for you it’s showing appreciation for their reality.

I remember long ago I got to have lunch and a long conversation with John Grey who wrote, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. I’m sure you’ve either read it or heard of it. He’s a great master teacher in relationships. He says, “You should know the questions you’re going to ask your partner when they come home from work or in your communications.” There are some things that men could say to women for example that will really help them and he told me these long lists of the things guy’s could say. I laughed and they were funny, but so true. So you should have a list of things you could say to appreciate somebody’s reality each day.

Here’s my list… I think this first one is John’s, just to give him credit.

When my lady is talking to me and telling me things about her day and I’m listening, to show appreciation for her reality I want to know more about it. So she’ll say something and I’m like, tell me more about that. I will tell you what; if you tell someone that then they will love you. Tell me more about that, what else happened? What else was that like? Tell me more elicits more communication from them. As they communicate more they feel more heard, more empathetic, more understanding and they feel like you are vibing with them if you’re present.

My second favorite is… if anyone is every complaining to me in a relationship.

If my wife is complaining or if she’s upset about something, I always empathize by saying that’s so lame. I’m sorry that happened. That’s so lame. Gosh that sucks. That’s so lame. Oh, I realize that’s so challenging that’s so hard, I’m sorry about that. When they’re complaining go oh yeah that sucks. That’s so lame, I’m sorry that happened. It’s so simple, but to empathize that point say yeah that does suck, that is lame, to mirror that back to them, reflect it and rephrase it, they’ll feel it and sense it and that’s important.

The third one is… I’m here for you, anything I can do.

That is so powerful in showing appreciation for where they are. Maybe they do need help. Maybe they feel left alone. A lot of people in relationship when they’re complaining they end up complaining about their spouse or their partner because as they’re complaining that partner isn’t present with them and doesn’t ask them anything, doesn’t engage with them, so they feel like they’re just reporting out but they aren’t having communication. It’s quite different.

If you are in your own relationship just complaining, but you don’t feel like there’s any back and forth in conversation than at some point you realize you could just go sit across from some stranger at Starbucks and puke all your complaints on them. Part of a magical relationship is having somebody who can pitch and catch with, who can have that conversation back with you and can really understand what you’re saying. You have to elicit that from people.Appreciate people’s reality by asking them to talk more about it.

Appreciate someone’s totality as a human being by truly feeling and sensing them, and sharing things with them, like compliments that show appreciation. Giving them gifts, things that say,

“I appreciate what you did for me, but I appreciate who you are too. You know honey, I love when you do that. I always appreciate that about you because you’re so good with people. Honey, I love that about you, I’m so thankful for you. I appreciate that because you do always notice what I feel and need. Honey, I just want to tell you I love you and I appreciate you so much, because the way you talk to the kids you’re just so amazing with them.”

You have to say things like this to have a real high level of relationship.

3. The last thing is adoration. You have to adore people.

If you don’t adore the person that you’re with right now you have to re-summon that up. You have to look for the things in them that will help you do that. The way to do that is to give them more attention and show them more appreciation. When they receive more attention and more appreciation from you, there will be an energetic change in the relationship and it will turn more vibrant and there will be more pop in it. Then suddenly, you’ll start to notice that person because they come a little more alive around you and it will be easier to adore them. You’ll be like,

Look, I never even noticed they do these things…that’s funny or I never noticed they did all these things for me, I have attention to that now and I appreciate that now.”

You’ll start to adore them more.

When you adore the person you’re with more you do things for them. You do more things for them. You want to see them light up. You start supporting their dreams more. Are you doing that, because real adoration is getting out of your own way and asking; what is it about this person’s life that I can support, that they love to do? Because showing real adoration is showing support. Real adoration isn’t just doting on somebody with flowers and gifts, though you should do that too it’s about wanting to support their bigger life goals, bigger dreams.

When you truly adore somebody you want so desperately to see them happy, passionate, engaged and living their own fully charged life. When you really adore someone you go out of your way to brag about them in front of them. When they’re with you in a social situation you’ll compliment them and brag about them. Like, if you haven’t made your partner, your spouse, your lover, your husband or wife blush for a while with a good compliment in front of others, what are you doing? I’m always trying to embarrass my lady, but in a positive way.

I’ll compliment her in front of others and she’ll be like, I really appreciate that you said that about me. I want her to feel adored. I want everybody in the community, everybody in my life to know how much I adore my lady.

Do you have that intention for yours, for the person who you’re with?

Does everyone know how much you adore them?

Are you bragging them up?

Are you adoring them personally and publicly? 

When you do that you’ll notice a different level of engagement in that relationship, too, and everything will change, because they will feel adored, appreciated and feel like you’re giving them attention. Then they’ll turn it around and they’ll give you more attention, more appreciation, more adoration and there’ll be the spark that happens between the two of you that you never imagined you could have.

That is what it feels like to live… The Charged Life. 

http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/105785812578/be-great-in-relationships

13 Productivity Hacks to Help You Get Sh*t Done

From endless e-mails to chatty-Cathy colleagues, distractions at work can screw with your schedule—and your career.

Oh, the irony of technology: It's as much of a time-suck as a time-saver, at least at work. In a recent CareerBuilder poll, employers cited e-mail, social media, and cell-phone calls—along with classic distractions like gossip and meetings—as frequent focus zappers.

More irony? Thanks to a still-recovering economy, most of us are already short on time, with mega workloads as the norm. But, says Maura Thomas, chief productivity trainer at RegainYourTime.com, "it's also true that, in my experience, most people are 'busy' all day but get very little of the important stuff done." (Um, who, us?) Let these expert tricks prevent time wasters from hijacking your day—or your job.

E-MAIL

• Free up your mornings.
Check your e-mail first thing to make sure you're not missing a last-minute meeting or a crucial bit of news that transpired overnight. Then go sans Outlook for the next 90 minutes. "This starts your day in a proactive, rather than reactive, way," says Julie Morgenstern, productivity expert and author of Never Check E-mail in the Morning.

• Outsmart your computer.
If your screen is the Vegas strip, then new-message pop-ups are its neon signs. Change your e-mail settings to nix the constant flashes. "It's pretty safe to say that at any given moment, you have new mail—so why do you need the flash?" says Thomas. Ditto with the endless beeps: Dial down the sound when you need to focus.

INTERNET AND SOCIAL MEDIA

• Save it for later.
Do your Facebook breaks regularly deteriorate into an hour of link clicking (damn you, BuzzFeed!)? Download an app like Pocket to your computer or phone: It lets you save news articles and quizzes to one place, then automatically syncs to all of your devices so you can read them later.

• Choose an offline reward.
Promising yourself a treat when you complete a task can amp motivation, but a Twitter scroll shouldn't be your goodie. "You don't get the benefit of a break since leisure computer time uses the same part of your brain as work computer time," says Thomas. Instead, take a quick walk or get that macchiato you've been craving.

• Try "Tabless Thursdays."
James Hamblin, M.D., a writer for The Atlantic, preaches the gospel of Internet single-tasking once a week. His rule: To open another site, he must close the one he's on—a trick he says forces him to focus. He's not wrong; research shows that people who tackle one thing at a time are more efficient and better decision makers than those juggling several to-dos at once.

• Cock-block yourself.
If you're addicted to social media (guilty as charged!), install an anti-distraction program like Cold Turkey, LeechBlock, or Anti-Social, which should bar you from the sites that attract you the most.

YOUR PHONE

• Get some distance.
Leave your phone in your bag or in a drawer. If it takes effort to check it, you're less likely to pick it up for every little ping. (One point for laziness!)

• Keep your favorite apps off the home screen.
You were just checking your weather app when, oh hey, Candy Crush Saga! A quick game won't hurt, right? Axe temptation so it can't lure you. Don't worry—now that you're a productivity machine, you'll have plenty of time to play Kim Kardashian: Hollywood when you get home. 

COWORKERS

• Disappear.
On deadline? Book a conference room or empty office for yourself, or hunker down in a nearby diner and bang that project out.

• Sign out.
During the hour or two each day when you're most in the zone, hang a "Do Not Disturb" note outside your door. Bonus: By designating a regular uninterrupted work period, you'll train your brain to think more deeply and efficiently during that time every day, says Morgenstern. No door? A plant or stack of books create a visual barrier, so others can't make eye contact with you easily.

• Do gossip—a little.
Though employers in the CareerBuilder poll blamed the office grapevine as a slack-off mainstay, Dutch researchers found gossip can actually improveworkplace efficiency by helping ID which colleagues shirk responsibility. But don't dish too often, or you'll be the one workmates say isn't pulling her weight.

MEETINGS                           

                                                                  

• Stand up.
Seriously: Research shows that seated meetings are, on average, 34 percent longer than no-chairs-allowed ones, likely because people get sick of being on their feet, says Holly Liu, chief of staff at interactive entertainment company Kabam, which has a daily standing meeting. Even if your boss isn't game, keep your duff off the chair during job-related chats with coworkers: A study found groups who work together while on their feet are more engaged than they are seated.

• Flip your phone.
Shane Atchison, CEO of creative agency Possible, turns off notifications and blatantly puts his phone facedown on the table at the start of a meeting. Often, others follow his lead. "When everyone is engaged in the conversation, you're more productive and the meeting is shorter," he says. (Worried about missing an urgent call? Set a special ringtone for people who might contact you in an emergency—just keep the ringer on low and only answer for that tone.)

• Manage your meetings.
When your boss calls an all-hands get-together, you're stuck, but if a coworker is having a vague, hour-long status pow-wow, ask to see an agenda in advance so you can be prepared. "If they don't have one, it's going to be a huge waste of your time," says Carson Tate, a managing partner at Working Simply Inc. Offer to provide input or notes by e-mail instead if your opinion is necessary.

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/how-to-be-more-productive