The Intent Behind Our Giving Has A Role In Our Inner Development

I often hear people say that it is good that people receive the help they need, even if the intention of the giver was not one of selflessness. Which means, it doesn't matter what the purpose was, as long as the receiver got what they needed.

I don't know if I agree with that.

I feel that for people on the path of personal development and growth, it is essential to have self-awareness, to understand one's motives for whatever we are doing as knowing our purposes plays a significant role in our growth as well. It helps us to understand self, to enable us to see the shadow aspects (good or bad) surfacing through our unconscious self.

I remember when I used to volunteer at a hospice and at the time I was still relatively young in the area of energy healing work. So I thought it would be a perfect idea to do it for practice as a volunteer. I knew to go in, why I was doing it - It was purely for selfish reasons. I was there to use the old folks as 'test subjects'. And I was confident that the more I practised, the more they were going to benefit from it.

On the surface level, it looked like it was kindness but I was there to practice.

As I started doing the energy work on a weekly basis, I realised that energy work might not necessarily be the right thing for the hospice patients. So I changed the service I was providing to just foot massages. The patients at the hospice day care looked forward to the weekly Touch Therapy. They would all come in their wheelchairs, and they all just wanted someone to speak to. So as I was doing the foot massages and communicating with them, I realised after a period that I was no longer doing it for myself. Sometimes I would find it difficult to go, but I made myself go because I knew that it was a special afternoon for them. I became one of the patient's confidante as she didn't have family and she would pour her heart out to me. She has since passed on, and I am glad that she is in a better space now. Over a period, my intent transformed.

Kindness, we practise it with people as much as we can and even if we volunteer to do something without expectation of anything back in return, we genuinely would like the other party to benefit from what we have shared. So many of us are like this - genuine people who give without any expectations of anything back, not even recognition. I have learned so much from people like these. They have managed to find the balance in giving, making sure others benefit from their giving, at the same time, because they have good standing in society, they have used their good standing to inspire others also to do the same. At the same time, it is not for self-glorification whatsoever. It is not easy to navigate this, and indeed require true authenticity to achieve this balance.

Recently I posted this quote on social media: 'if you are doing something for someone and expecting something back in return you are not doing kindness, you are doing business'. It is true; when we expect something back, when we expect an exchange we are truly doing business. Whether the return to you is some kind of glory or recognition or something intangible, it is just business and no longer about kindness anymore.

Now we have all seen this, where people volunteer their time organisations/charity/institutions to exercise some form of power. Usually, its because they have not experienced any leadership or they have never been in positions of power. So they offer their time for self-gratification, or they do it to gain some self-esteem - not all wrong. The problem with this is they do not even realise their underlying intent. They still believe in the superficial reason that they are there to offer kindness. This is how politics in charity happens! If we give with expectations, be true to it, then the giving has a more definite purpose with no hidden agendas, and it will not come back to bite us.

So I hope that this little sharing is useful for you especially at this time of the year when there are plenty of opportunities for giving. Whatever purpose you have in your giving, be sure of its intent, and you will be able to multiply it many folds.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Intent-Behind-Our-Giving-Has-A-Role-In-Our-Inner-Development&id=10040675

Do You Have The Courage to Love Yourself? (By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.)

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." ~ Ambrose Bierce

I find it sad that it takes courage to love ourselves. But the truth is that our culture has come so far from our natural way of being - which is to love ourselves - that now it does take courage, a lot of courage.

Why? Because many of us have been programmed to believe that being 'selfless' is being good, and that being loving to ourselves is selfish. We've been programmed to believe that if we ignore our own feelings and needs and attend to the feelings and needs of others, then we will be seen as good and we will be loved.

There is so much backward thinking in these statements that I hardly know where to begin to untangle it.

Loving yourself - loving the spark of the Divine within you, your soul that is created in the image of God-that-is-love - is like loving a beloved child. It's about cherishing your intrinsic gifts and sharing them with those you love. When you are truly loving yourself, you would never be selfish because it's very unloving to yourself to be selfish - i.e. to not care about the effect your behavior has on others, to ignore others' feelings and needs, and to expect others to give themselves up for you. Loving yourself is what fills you with love to share with others.

Selflessness is actually the opposite of knowing who you are - knowing the beauty and greatness of your soul essence. Anyone who has been selfless knows that it eventually leads to feeling depleted and depressed, because when you are giving to others without also loving yourself, you end up feeling empty inside. When you give to get love, others generally receive without giving back.

If this is what you've been doing, it takes great courage to focus on loving yourself and letting go of caretaking others to get love. Those to whom you've been giving, in order to get their attention and approval, may become angry at you for what they perceive as you abandoning them. They liked your caretaking and they may not even know how to be with you in supporting your own and others' highest good. So it takes great courage to weather their wrath and perhaps even lose them.

It can be so scary to do this, that only when loving yourself becomes more important to you than your fear of rejection, will you open to learning about what is in your highest good.

This is where I was 32 years ago when Spirit brought us our inner work healing process. I was quite ill and knew that if I continued to abandon myself, I would die. I was terrified of losing those I loved, but even more terrified to get sicker. My desire to be healthy, alive, and manifesting my gifts gave me the courage to begin learning to love myself.

If you are anxious, depressed and lonely, and you have been selfless rather than self-loving, you might consider that being selfless - i.e. abandoning yourself to get love and approval - isn't working. It's now well known that Mother Teresa, the saint of selflessness, was deeply depressed most of her life and sought therapeutic help over and over for her depression. Unfortunately, at that time, none of the therapists understand that the source of her depression was that she was abandoning herself. She didn't abandon herself to get others' love and approval. She abandoned herself because she believed that this is what being loving to others meant, but it left her inner child alone and depressed within.

I hope you let go of your old concepts of selflessness and selfishness and have the courage to learn to love yourself, fill yourself with love, and share your beautiful intrinsic gifts with others.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Have-The-Courage-to-Love-Yourself?&id=9633252