How To Honor Your Sensitivity

Being sensitive means many things. As a sensitive, empathic person myself, I know how painful it can be to feel or see certain things more deeply than other people. Over the years I have learned how to manage my sensitivity so that it has transformed into a gift I truly embrace. It's this process that I share with my clients and students.

If you're a sensitive person, you might notice that when others' don't share your depth of experience, you wind up feeling misunderstood, or even excluded. You might have heightened sensitivities to noise, smell, foods, and environment. If so, these sensitivities can easily contribute to feelings of weakness, illness, and irritability.

In addition, by believing society's negative critique of sensitivity, you might think that you're wrong for being 'so sensitive'. Nothing could be further from the truth!

What's important for a sensitive person, is to take steps to honor your sensitivity so that it transforms from something painful into a true gift of beauty and strength.

Below are some key steps to turn your sensitivity into a gift that will enrich your life, over and over again.

Understand Your Sensitivity - Understand that if you are one of the estimated 20% of folks with heightened sensitivity, you have a nervous system that feels things more deeply than most. This means that you need to care for yourself differently than someone without your depth of sensitivity. Get to know yourself better. Read up on the different aspects of sensitivity - there are a number of good books on the topic. Understanding yourself will help you increase feelings of self-acceptance. And, self-acceptance is key to honoring your sensitivity.

Get Clear About What Feels Right for You - We're often brought up to believe that we 'should' enjoy certain experiences that others enjoy. Getting clear on what feels right for you might mean you don't go to that party, or you opt for one or two good friends over a group of friends. Get clear about your 'shoulds' versus your true desires. Trust your intuition to help you find the right balance for you.

Honor Your Need for Downtime - Sensitive people need downtime. And, it can be easy to implement. Treat yourself to a peaceful nature walk, or sit quietly in a darkened room. A quick nap can do wonders to calm an overwhelmed mind and nerves. Throughout each day, allow for short periods of downtime. Regular breaks of just 5 minutes each can make a profound difference.

Create Self-Care Rituals - As a sensitive person, you likely lead a rich inner life. Honor it by nourishing it. Meditation, music, art, yoga, salt baths, and mind-body therapies are all wonderful tools to help you nourish your creative, intuitive soul.

Get Enough Sleep - Because sensitive people take in more information, more deeply, they need more sleep than people who are not highly sensitive. This means a daily minimum of 8 hours of sleep, preferably 9. If you have trouble sleeping, be sure to create a soothing bedtime ritual. Eliminate stimulants, and forgo electronics at least 1-2 hours before bed. Know that by just closing your eyes, you will help to calm and replenish your nervous system.

Take steps to honor your sensitivity. It's a divine gift. And it's a gift our world needs now.

In Courage,

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Honor-Your-Sensitivity&id=9930103

5 Ways to Deepen Your Relationship

... and stop taking each other for granted.

It’s all too human to get lazy in our relationships and take things for granted. When things are going well, we have a tendency to coast. Here are some ways to enjoy more fulfilling connections:

1. Listen deeply.
   Listen especially carefully when your partner or friend is expressing something about the relationship. A sincere effort to listen—even if you don’t fully understand everything they’re saying—goes a long way toward helping a partner feel that you care about them and value the relationship. Remember that your partner simply is expressing feelings, which may sometimes have more do to with their history than with you. Deep listening at such times is a powerful act of generosity.
   
2. Be empathic.
   Take their feelings seriously, even if you don’t think there’s a good reason for them. If what they’re saying is difficult to hear, try to stay connected in your body. Take some deep breaths. Remind yourself that they're entitled to their feelings. Notice if you are going into a shame-freeze. Being paralyzed by the thought that you did something wrong makes it difficult to listen. Ask them to pause if you need time to absorb what they’re saying. Perhaps say something like, “I really want to hear you. What you’re saying is important to me. I need a moment to take in what you’re saying.”
   
3. Monitor your defensiveness.
   Notice a tendency to get defensive and dismissive (which we all do sometimes). It’s not easy to be attentive when someone is unhappy about something we’ve said or done—or if they're dissatisfied with our relationship in some way. Do your best to hear what they're saying without going into a shame-freeze—or be aware of how the shame-freeze is feeling in your body and bring gentleness to it so that it might soften. Be mindful if you’re feeling paralyzed and therefore unable to hear them because you’re thinking something is wrong with you or that you’re not doing something right. If you’re paralyzed by shame, you won’t be able to listen well. If you agree that you did something hurtful, you can take responsibility for that without beating yourself up. You can learn something from the feedback and make an effort to be more mindful going forward.
   
4. Tune into the intimacy.
   Even difficult conversations can build intimacy. If you can both express your authentic feelings and really listen to each other, it can go a long way toward deepening your connection. In a partnership, it might even enliven your sex life to share feelings that might otherwise go into hiding.
   
5. Enjoy your time together.
   Make sure your relationship has ample time built into it to enjoy each other’s company. John Gottman's research into couples has suggested that building your connection in positive ways helps create an important foundation for love and connection to grow.

Source: Stock-Asso/Shutterstock

Attending to your relationship in these mindful ways can help nurture the connection you long for. And don't be shy about seeking help when necessary to bolster a partnership that is important to you—don’t wait until things get really bad. I've found Dr. Sue Johnson’s approach of Emotionally Focusing Therapy to be particularly helpful for couples. Getting the support of a couples counselor can help you uncover and reveal the deeper layers of what you’re experiencing, as well as learn to listen to each other non-defensively.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intimacy-path-toward-spirituality/201505/5-ways-deepen-your-relationship