Boundaries: Can Someone Find It Hard To Say No When They Feel Worthless?

If one doesn't want to do something, they might listen to what is taking place with them and speak up. However, there is also the chance that they will ignore what is taking place within them and simply go along with what someone else wants.

A Different Experience

When it relates to the former, one is going to have a good connection with what is taking place within them. In addition to this, they will also feel safe enough to listen to what is taking place there.

Yet, when it comes to the latter, they might not even be aware of what is taking place within them. But even if they are aware, they are not going to feel safe enough to pay attention to what is going on there.

Point of Focus

When one is in touch with themselves and they feel safe enough to listen to the information that is within them, they are not going to be completely focused on what is taking place externally. One will be able to pay attention to their inner world and their outer world.

On the other hand, when one doesn't feel safe enough to listen to the information that is within them, they can end up being completely consumed by what is taking place externally. It can then be normal for them to only pay attention to what is taking place in their outer world.

Disconnected

What is clear is that they are the only person who will know what is right for them; the people around them are not going to know. Even so, this is not to say that other people will always realise this.

There are plenty of people in the world who are only too happy to tell other people what to do. Therefore, when one goes along with what other people want, they are going to miss out on the guidance that is within them.

Enmeshed

When this happens, one will be behaving as though they are simply an extension of other people. Their actions will be the result for what other people want them to do, or what they think they want them to do.

This is likely to be what feels comfortable and so there will be no reason for them to change their behaviour. But if they were able to get in touch with how they feel, they might soon come into contact with a lot of pain.

An Act

If the people around them were to find out about how they feel, they could be in for a shock. This is because one could come across as happy and easy going, and this is going stop how they feel from coming to the surface when they are around others.

Or, if they were to get worked up and to express how they really feel, they could end up feeling bad. Through feeling this way, they will soon go back to how they were before, and it might be little while before they lose it again.

A Number of Outcomes

When one has the tendency to do what other people want, there may be moments when this doesn't cause them to be walked over. Yet, as this is likely to be something that rarely takes place, it might not matter.

The moments when they have been taken advantage of are going to be the moments that fill their mind. This may mean that there have been times when they have been physically harmed and/or they may have been verbally abused on a number of occasions.

Right Now

If one was to think about what their life is like at this point in time, they may find that they are in a relationship with someone who walks over them. Along with this, they might work with people who also behave in the same way.

It might not stop there though, as one could find that their family treat them in the same way. One is then going to be surrounded by people who don't respect their boundaries, and this is going to make it hard for them to feel good about themselves.

A Victim

One way of looking at this would be to say that one has gradually be worn down by the people in their life, and this is why they are unable to say no and to stand their ground. Based on this, the only way their life is going to change is if the people in their life start to respect their boundaries.

Another way of looking at this would be you say that they already felt worthless, and this is why they ended up coming into contact with these kinds of people. What will also support this outlook is if they are treated badly by their family.

Where it All Began

What took place when they were younger may have set them up to feel comfortable with being walked over. During this time, they may have been abused and/or neglected, and this would have caused them to feel worthless.

And through being treated in this way, it may have caused them to disconnect from their aggression. So not only will they feel as though they deserve to be walked over; they won't have the energy they need to do anything about it.

Awareness

In order for one to change their life, they will need to get in touch with their inherent value and to embrace their aggression. Once this has taken place, they won't feel comfortable being walked over and, if someone tries to do so, they will have the strength that they need to do something about it.

This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Boundaries:-Can-Someone-Find-It-Hard-To-Say-No-When-They-Feel-Worthless?&id=9691581

Defeat Your Fears, Not Your Enemies

Miracles happen when a person conquers his dread. It is the time when he finally surrenders to his worst nightmares, gives them a thumbs-down, and starts a new beginning. It usually happens with a sportsperson. For them, resolution, fervour, and allegiance are necessary in life. Without these capabilities, it is almost impossible for them to conquer the world. A sportsman has to fight his weakest points and his real battle starts with his self. When he defends his own power, he becomes the real super-hero.

A man poses several threats from inside and out. The world will pressurize and challenge his power and make him feel worthless. There are people who will get jealous even if a person performs a bit better than they do. They just cannot accept their defeat or their under-performance and will try hard to bring their opponent down. We are not talking about a healthy competition but a bitter rivalry that can cost lives. It does happen in sports and in the field of academics. People cannot tolerate their competitors' success and will challenge them in all ways. This is a harsh fact and we all are aware of it. We humans are made with flaws but it is our responsibility that we curb down the negative and empower a positive attitude. Some do that and they succeed, while some live their lives destroying others.

Fighting our fears and fighting others' threats is a part of life and we must accept that. There would be times where we would just sit down and give up. Not being able to face the world, we just think that it is time to give up on our dreams. Those are the times when we need to stand up take a deep breath inhaling courage. That is the time when we need to close our eyes and think of all the beautiful things that made us reach to this point Even an animal living in a wasteland or a dense forest falls and breaks his leg. However, it does not stop him to catch his prey and by sheer strength, he runs again and jots down on his feast. If he can do it then why can't we?

We are human beings and we have to live our life accepting and winning challenges. Nothing is handed on a plate even if we are born with a silver spoon. We have to struggle on every phase and that is why God has given us the power of prayer and faith. Whenever we feel down or disappointed we take refuge in God's abode. He shows us the way and tells us to move ahead with a fearless mind. It may take some time but we get over it and start our fights again. From the moment we are born until we reach our graves, we have to fight. There are no second thoughts on it and we cannot escape.

Enthusiasm comes from words, from a strong pat on the back or from someone’s life. It comes from the strangest things and we have to find and imbibe it in us. This world needs courageous hearts and it cannot accept destruction. So take an oath to make yourself better, stronger, and smarter in your next move. Learn to defeat your own self instead of your enemies.

it's just the matter of time and you will get back on track. Always remember your fear is an elf and you are the giant!!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Defeat-Your-Fears,-Not-Your-Enemies&id=9664431