How To Be Happy - Be Grateful!

Happiness Is A Choice

How To Be Happy? There are 2 types of happiness. There is the happiness that we feel in response to an external event or circumstance. An obvious example of this would be our reaction to winning the lottery!

Then there is the happiness that is cultivated internally. This is the energy that arises as a conscious choice rather than the more ephemeral reaction to a piece of good news.

In this article we are going to focus on happiness as a choice.

How To Be Happy - And How Things Are

We all struggle and strive to attain health, wealth and personal happiness. Yet these three big areas: our health, our wealth and our relationships are where we all get hung out to dry - sooner or later.

It is as though there is an inbuilt design flaw that ensures that we all suffer at some point - one way or another.

In the Buddhist perspective, "seeing things as they are" (Sanskrit yatha-bhutam darshanam) basically means to see that all human experience is stamped by three characteristics:

* Impermanence (anitya)

* No-self (anatman)

* Suffering (duhkha)

This is how things are.

As we become aware of these characteristics our point of focus shifts away from the content of our experiences and toward our response to them.

At time of writing in the middle of the Covid-19 lockdown this is a very pertinent point!

However, as Thich Nhat Hanh writes in "Being Peace":

"... life is filled with suffering, but it is also filled with many wonders, like the blue sky, the sunshine, the eyes of a baby.

To suffer is not enough. We must also be in touch with the wonders of life. They are within us and all around us, everywhere, any time."

Zen teacher Alan Senauke offers the following advice for keeping your Joyful Mind when fear and suffering threaten it:

"Joy is an active principle, not a swamp of passivity. No one can steal it... We have choices even though they are often hard to see."

How To Be Happy - Choose To Be Happy

In the bible (Philippians 4:4 NKJV), the psalmist writes: "This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it"

He doesn't say "yesterday was a good day so let's give thanks for that" or "tomorrow will be a good day so I'll scrape through today and hang on for tomorrow"

He says today... now... this present moment... we choose to give thanks for this day.

When we complain it is often self-focused - about our current experiences and what I want or don't want.

Happiness is a choice and it comes to those who look beyond themselves to something greater than their own immediate personal happiness based on their circumstances.

The apostle Paul was frequently imprisoned and on one occasion when he was incarcerated with no prospect of release he wrote: "Rejoice in the Lord always... always be joyful... "

His joy was grounded in his focus and was not a reflection of his circumstances.

How To Be Happy - A View From The End

In 2015, the award-winning journalist John Leland (on assignment from "The New York Times") spent time with number of older people with the initial expectation of learning about how they cope with the effects of aging in terms of physical and mental health and overall quality of life.

However what he found was quite extraordinary, despite their circumstances these people lived positive and joyful lives. He captured and expressed his experiences in Happiness Is a Choice You Make: Lessons from a Year Among the Oldest Old:

"Older people consistently reported just as many positive emotions as the younger participants, but had fewer negative ones. They also had more mixed emotions, meaning that they didn't let frustration or anxiety keep them from saying they were happy.

Consciously or unconsciously, they were making the choice to be happy even when there were reasons to feel otherwise...

Using functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, the researchers found that the emotional processing center of older people's brains, the amygdala, fired more actively when they looked at positive images than negative ones; younger brains reacted to both equally.

In this, older brains resemble the brains of people who meditate."

Leland offers a compelling explanation from the psychologist Laura L. Carstensen, founding director of the Stanford Center on Longevity:

"Her hypothesis, which she gave the wonky name 'socioemotional selectivity,' is that older people, knowing they face a limited time in front of them, focus their energies on things that give them pleasure in the moment, whereas young people, with long horizons, seek out new experiences or knowledge that may or may not pay off down the line.

Our default position is that we'd be "happy if only" every bad thing went away. Whereas, these old people accepted that there are always challenges in life and they choose to be "happy in spite of."

How To Be Happy - The Cognitive Approach

In A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy William B. Irvine shares the wisdom of Stoic philosophy and reveals how its insights and advice are refreshingly relevant to now.

In summary, here are 3 key takeaways:

1. "What's The Worst That Could Happen?" - This is what the Stoics refer to as "the premeditation" - which means that there's a lot of value in thinking through carefully, and consciously about the worst that could happen. In most situations your thought process will show that your anxiety about those situations are out of proportion or exaggerated

2. "Fake It To Make It" - Irvine refers to Seneca, who says that when we are angry we should take steps to "turn all (anger's) indications into their opposites." We should force ourselves to relax our face, soften our voice, and slow our pace of walking. If we do this, our internal state will soon come to resemble our external state, and our anger, says Seneca, will have dissipated.

3. "Make It A Treat" - The Stoics understood that denying yourself something makes you appreciate what you would otherwise take for granted, and they regularly undertook quite stringent exercises in self-denial and over long periods of time.

We have left the best and most powerful key to how to be happy to last.

Be grateful!

The practice of gratitude really does make us happy.

Not only does gratitude make us happy there is considerable research that shows that there are many physical, emotional and spiritual benefits that we can enjoy from this practice.

To make a start on how to be happy, all that is needed is a change in perspective.

You can feel it right now if you choose to.

"Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day." (Henri Nouwen)

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Be-Happy---Be-Grateful!&id=10390715

Live Your Bliss Life

So what is this bliss thing and how do I get it?

The definition as found online is:

Bliss: "perfect happiness; great joy." "Reach a state of perfect happiness, typically so as to be oblivious of everything else."

This doesn't mean it has to be 100% of the time. Being in bliss (or a state of bliss) for any length of time is the goal.

Finding your bliss is a process and one that I don't think has an end but one that becomes more enjoyable and dare I say blissful? You'll get there, just be easy on yourself.

There are four key areas that can assist you in getting to your bliss or "state of bliss". Think of them as CHIP: Choice, Heart, Intention and Perception.

1. Choice: "an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities"

Happiness is a choice. Oh how I did not like hearing that the first time. What do you mean it's a choice! I didn't ask for these horrible things to happen to me, and I'm supposed to choose to be happy about it!? Have you lost your mind? How dare you tell me it's a choice! Well, it kind of is...

I know, I know, you're life sob story means you can't be happy and you can't be happy until... I meet the perfect mate, until I rid myself of my current mate, until I'm rich, until I'm out of debt, until I have my own home, until I have a new car, until I get a bigger boat and on and on.

Now, you could get all defiant and start in about how babies don't have a choice and therefore this can't be true. Okay, fine, if that's how you "choose" to see it, then so it is. And then you say, I didn't CHOOSE it, it is how it is! We can keep going in circles here if you'd like, OR

• What if... you choose a more positive point of view when looking at a situation (yes, the glass can be half full instead of half empty)

• What if... you choose to find joy in the moment, any moment, one moment

• What if... you don't wait for that thing to make me happy, or that person to make me happy and just decide to be happy, just smile already!

• What if... you laugh for no other reason than it feels good

• What if... you choose to decide you can make a choice to be happy and choose to look at the good things in life and not focus on the bad

• What if... you are grateful for everything, and not just the BIG things

• It may be tough at first to come up with a list of 10 things to be grateful for. They may seem very small and "stupid". Like my pillow. I love my pillow and my bed and having a window next to it where a cool breeze can come in and my dogs laying at my feet, etc. There are so many things that we just take for granted and don't even think about. But, if you are someone that has no clean water or fresh air, you better believe those would be HUGE items on their list so why not yours?

• I am happy/peaceful in nature, but I get that it's not for everyone and that's fine. I do love my yard, it's like my own sanctuary/park. There was a time I only saw my yard as more work and something to be upset about, but now I see it as my happy place and it doesn't feel like "work" anymore.

• That's the cool part, there isn't ONE thing for everyone, but everyone can have their own thing/s.

And by the way, where is it written that we're supposed to be unhappy "until" anyway? When I chose to change my perspective and looked at this in a different way, well, I thought, why can't I choose to be happy! Who gets to set the rules about when and why to be happy, I DO! I'm tired of other people or my old thought patterns telling me why I can't be happy. Man, are we a negative bunch of folks or what? How about we start talking about why we can be happy!

2. Heart: "the central or innermost part of something; like very much; love". Coming from your heart instead of your head is a simple way to help you find a more positive perspective. Many don't realize their perspective is coming from thought patterns they've developed over time in their "minds". You just keep repeating the same old thought patterns. Again, it doesn't matter why. Don't get hung up thinking about the why and how of these thoughts, just know you have the power to change them. Now, imagine these thoughts funneling through your "heart" first and over time they start to become more positive, loving and uplifting. When you stop yourself as you realize you're having another one of your same old negative thoughts, go to your heart. It may help to put your hand on your heart and then imagine seeing this situation from your heart and funneling through a new channel of love instead of an old channel in your mind.

3. Intention: "a thing intended; an aim or plan". When you wake up in the morning, what is you intention? Do you want to be grumpy, kick the dog, yell at the kids and stomp out the door to that stupid job and those idiot people you have to work with? I doubt anyone purposely intends that this is the kind of day they want to have, but so many times it's what they end up with.

Intention is interesting and I wonder what would happen if more people would stop and ask themselves; what is my intention in this situation or what was their intention in this situation? It seems so often we default to believing that all intentions are bad. They have "evil" intentions. I mean, wouldn't you have to believe that if you are always on the defensive? I need to get them before they get me mentality. Why? Do you believe they have bad intentions for you? Do you have bad intentions for them? Is this negative view helping you or anyone?

Let me share an example of what I mean. Let's say your child pulls out your favorite flowers in the garden and brings them and the dirt into your just cleaned house and you go ballistic. You yell at them and tell them how stupid they are and look what they've done! Now YOU have to clean again! You send them to their room and you cry over your dirty carpet and the missing flowers in the garden.

Was the child's intention to make a mess and destroy the flower garden? Your reaction was as if it were. OR were they wanting to give the Mom they love unconditionally the beautiful flowers they saw her admiring and surprise her with a bouquet that they pulled all by themselves with their very own hands? Kind of stops ya cold doesn't it. What do you suppose their perspective is now?

And what was your intention in screaming at your child? Were you teaching them a lesson? If so, what lesson were you intending to teach? Do you see where I'm going here?

If you do something with good intentions, and it goes bad, does that mean what you did was wrong? No. If you do something with bad intentions and it turns out good, does that mean what you did was wrong? Yes.

If you wake up with an intention of getting even and I'll show them, how do you suppose your day will look? How do you suppose you'll come across to others? And how will they respond? And when they respond poorly to your presence, you then say SEE, I told you so, and then you justify why you're in a foul mood! Funny how that works isn't it. So;

• What if... upon awaking you set an intention of having a GREAT day, of being happy, of doing something nice for someone else just because.

• Just lay there in bed for a couple extra minutes, taking some deep breathes and setting some intentions and smile

• What if... instead of assuming the worst about someone, you find out what their intention is before you make a negative judgment or just start assuming they have good intentions until otherwise shown

How many disagreements and hurts could have been avoided if the intentions had been to help and heal and not to be "right" or "win" at all cost.

4. Perspective: "a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view."

Perspective is what you want it to be. I mean, isn't it funny how people have such differing perspectives of the same situation? How can this be? Do I need to bring up politics?

If you have decided (for whatever reason/s) that everything you do and every situation you "look at" is going to be bad or negative and you are always the victim, then guess what? IT IS and YOU ARE! And hey, if you're okay with that, then more power to ya, own it! But just know, you're not going to find bliss in this condition.

If you're not okay with it and instead of continuing a behavior just because it's how it's always been, then;

• What if... you start to notice or just acknowledge you may be looking at things in a negative way (doesn't matter why) and;

• What if... you stop yourself and your thoughts as soon as you notice they are negative thoughts (perspectives) and you begin replacing them with more upbeat thoughts and finding a more upbeat perspective of a situation (the glass is half full or half empty).

It may be a bit bumpy at first and that's OK! It's a process. Stopping yourself from going into your pity party is tough when it's all you've known. BUT if you want something different you have to do something different.

Assume the best in situations and in people. Instead of walking around with your head down assuming everyone is out to get you; hold your head up, put a smile on your face and say HELLO to a stranger! You will be amazed at how good just doing that feels. And, you may have just made someone else's day and that should make you happy cause we are all in this together.

Set an intention of doing well, of being good. Set an intention of love, being love, expecting love. Set an intention of living in bliss, of being happy, of living joyfully. These could also be mantras or I AM statements. I AM love, I AM bliss, I AM happy, I AM compassion, etc. and start your morning with those.

It's okay if you're not 100% happy all the time. You get to choose and just knowing you can might make all the difference. If you're intentions are good and your perspective is positive, then getting to happy becomes easier. If something goes wrong (as it will) you can allow yourself some time to be grumpy or sad and then tell myself, okay, that's enough, time to get on with it!

Have we found our bliss yet? CHIP in and move through the process and I know you will!

Soul message: Lighten up on yourselves. Stop beating yourself up for every little thing. You have nothing to prove and are beautiful souls just as you are. It is your right to be happy and you are worthy of happiness just for being. Enjoy the bliss.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Live-Your-Bliss-Life&id=9741171

Message From the Universe: The Universal Question Remains: Is All This a CHOICE or FEELING?

"How about no matter the temptation, you no longer think or say, "I'm tired," "I'm hurt," "I'm angry."

Don't even think or say, "I'm happy." Instead, whenever the urge arises, think or say, "I choose to be tired, hurt, angry or happy." And give it a little time.

Because this is how you become anything, 

The Universe"

Should we assume that Happiness is a choice? It is said, in the message above, that we should CHOOSE to be happy, hurt, angry or tired. If all of these feelings are choices, then what about people sharing their discontent by saying: "I feel angry towards this person, or I feel tired after a long day at work, or I feel very happy today because of all the great things that are happening in my life". So again, despite what the Universe is sharing towards choices or feelings, we, as humans, shouldn't take all of this literally. Depending on how we perceive life in general, we will opt for either one. Should we feel or choose? Could it be both? Why should it be ONLY one or the other? Unfortunately, choosing or feeling is not like a mathematical equation where the answer is based on logic. There is NO logic when it comes to who you are, as an individual. We are not computers, not yet, that is. We wake up every morning, and should be thankful for having that privilege. We get up and should be thankful for being able to use our legs to walk towards any destination. We breath, see, talk, use our arms and hands to perform the basic tasks in our lives, but forget to be grateful. WE take things for granted and feel entitled that all of what we already have is because LIFE is obligated to give it to us, which is, for many, very common perception.

Sorry to bust your bubble here, but life doesn't owe you anything. Just take a look around you, see all the innocent people being victims of screwed up people living in our society, killing for no reasons whatsoever. They were at the wrong place, at the wrong time. There were 14 of them, in San Bernardino, CA, that left their home in the morning, never ever predicting the end of their lives on that day. Let's analyze that a bit deeper. Can we say, based on past research, using metaphysical methodologies, that all 14 people who died were sharing the same negative thoughts in their mind, feeling miserable about something, not being appreciative about what they already had, or sending negative vibe to Universe for that despicable act of violence to happen on that day. How about Paris on November 13th? The same can go for the 2996 people who died on September 11th, 2001. How can that be possible? How can the Universe create an environment so destructive for 3000 people to die on that same day, from a deadly terrorist act (if we can call that terrorism, many questions remain unanswered about September 11th)? We can't really answer these questions as they go beyond what our mind can comprehend. It is above and beyond our level of understanding. We may have profilers specialist explaining the reasons as to why a terrorist can perform such deliberate act of violence to innocent victims by analyzing their childhood, what kind of life they lived and so on and so forth. From there, they can explain the reason why they went to these kind of extremes. However, no one can explain how the mind works, and despite troubled childhoods, we have seen people excel and achieve amazing things, becoming great people and helping others succeed. On the other hand, the opposite can also happen where people with great childhoods can create havoc by terrorizing people for no apparent reasons. They chose their destructive path and couldn't care less of who they bring with them. They know that if they simply commit suicide, no one will remember them. However, if they take 10 or 15 innocent victim lives while committing suicide, this is where their name is eternal. Choose the righteous path, and always feel happy day in and day out.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-The-Universal-Question-Remains:-Is-All-This-a-CHOICE-or-FEELING?&id=9475982

Happiness Is a Choice

Happiness is a skill and the habits I will be sharing will energize you to acquire a high happiness level. Do you find yourself wondering what would make you truly happy? We live in a world where we are taught that making money, becoming successful or becoming famous makes one happy. Social media tells you that someone else around you is happier than you. So maybe you work very hard, waiting for your vacation, for a slice of that happiness. I want you to know that you have everything it takes to be happy in your present condition. Happiness does not lie in the pursuit or a future moment. Happiness, like your time in those days, includes completely engaging in an activity with others and in the moment. Have you ever had the opportunity of watching a baby find happiness? I watch my nephew laugh at a song, at a funny face, at a shift in an ordinary moment. We have this ability to laugh when we allow ourselves to experience the awe and pleasure of a new born. Why should you be happy? I linked happiness to long life, increase in energy, success and even more positive marriages. When we practice happiness, they are linked to positive health outcomes. Studies show that happy people are more likely to experience better marriages, promotions at work and life satisfaction. Happy states have been shown to contribute to mental flexibility and creativity.

You may be asking if some people are born happier than others. Research shows that happiness is a function of your genetic predisposition, circumstances that you face, and choices that you make. The interplay of these factors will result in gain or lack of happiness. The good news is, if you had "unhappy" genes, you can make up for them by choosing habits that result in happiness. Some circumstances in your life may or may not be changed. Heavier weighted happiness factors are products of genetics and choices. You can't change the genes you were given, so let's discuss the choices you make which have been shown to produce happy moments.

You can choose to live a happy lifestyle. Every day, even when you do not feel like it, you can make a commitment to be happy. Then practice and keep practicing. I don't want you to chase happiness. I want you to choose habits each day that will lead you to feeling happy. What should happiness look like? It is not giggling or grinning senselessly every day. Happiness can include states of contentment, calmness, the ability to sit with difficult moments and the feeling that you are in charge of your environment. You can practice happy habits each day, and like any goal, you can start with a commitment to lead a happy life. Happiness is not something I want you to strive for. Happiness is found in the daily moments and not in striving or wishing "I want to be happy." Martin Seligman, a leader in the field of Positive Psychology and Happiness explained that you can find happiness by choosing a combination of positive emotions, engaging in things you value, finding meaning in your life, engaging in relationships and accomplishments. These skills can be practiced to cultivate states of happiness. We can take action each day to contribute to this area in our lives.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Happiness-Is-a-Choice&id=9471427

Yes, Happiness Really Is Just A Decision Away

People used to say to me "Happiness is a choice." Somewhere in me I knew they were right but somehow I couldn't get it, and I continued to look for happiness outside of myself.

That message eventually found its way into my heart and I realised what I was doing to keep happiness at arms-length. And I was ready to make the necessary changes.

We all know the power of the 'word' particular those words we speak to or about our self. As I listened to what others were saying I realised how much they were holding themselves back from the happiness they were desperately looking for.

As I reflected this back to myself I could see clearly how I too was keeping happiness at bay through my powerful self talk. I heard myself saying things like: When I finish my book, then I'll be happy. When I open my practice then I'll be happy. When I have such and such amount of money then I'll be happy. When I pay off my bank-card or when I 'm out of debt then I'll be happy. When I know my purpose, then I'll be happy. And so the list of When I, then I, goes on and on.

Those things I said were like throw away lines; off the cuff remarks. I really didn't give those comments the time of day. I wish I had, because I now know there is no such thing as a self remark or a joke or a criticism made to one self that passes by. Our unconscious mind is like a sponge and we sill soak up these comments even if we say them quietly to our self.

In time, these thoughts or comments become a part of our unconscious programming or beliefs and we live believing that we have to do something, or achieve something. We think must have, or we must own something in order to be happy. I'm not saying that we don't become happy when we achieve some of those things but I noticed that the sense of happiness soon wore off and very quickly I was looking for something else to fill the void.

What I was really telling myself and then believing was 'I can't be happy until... ' And as I believed so it was, and happiness remained somewhere down the track - until I made some new choices. Whether I was referring to material possessions or personal achievements or that perfect relationship, I was always relying on something out-side of myself to give me pleasure or happiness. I kept that happiness in the future because words like 'when' and 'then' refer to a time in the future.

And how often I have heard parents say things like: When my kids go to school, then I'll be happy, when my kids go Uni, then I'll be happy. When my kids pass their exams, then I'll be happy. When my kids get their own car, then I'll be happy. When my kids can fend for them self, then I'll be happy. When my kids get their first house, then I'll be happy. And the worse of all: When my kids are happy then I'll be happy. When I know my kids are safe, then I'll be happy. And again the list of 'when I, then I' goes on and on. How will we ever be sure that our kids are safe? The only thing we can be sure of is the longer we keep putting off being happy until, the more unlikely we are to experience real happiness.

I worked with a woman; a single Mum who was so concerned about her kids that her only prayer day after day was for their safety and health. Every day she would declare out-loud: "God, all I want is to see my kids grow up safe, fit and healthy." Her prayers were answered and by the time her kids were in their early twenties they were fit and healthy. However, at forty this woman discovered that she had cancer. Was this a coincidence, or could it have been the works that came from her words All I want - which referred only to her kids. I wonder what might have happened if she had included herself in the equation and said something like "Thank you for keeping my family and I safe and well protected, happy and healthy" And with that having been said on a daily basis surely we can stand strong in faith that it is being done.

So how did I change things around? First I had to look at what my perception of happiness was. Maybe it was time to shift my perception? I was open to seeing happiness in a new light. I began speaking and declaring in present tense. I found that affirming every day thank you I AM HAPPY - as if I AM already - my unconscious mind soaked it up like a sponge and for what seemed like no apparent reason I became happy.

I made my self smile as often as I could, no matter what. I anchored a smile to my heart. This means that every time I 'think' of my heart, I smile. And every time smile, I think with my heart.

Who would have thought that a simple change in my thinking and my 'self talk' would change my life? My old habitual 'self talk' left me always wanting. My new 'self talk' created a new and positive habit which overcame me and became me. And with this new found sense of happiness I attracted into my world events, people, and material possessions which enhanced that happiness. However, I didn't rely on it to sustain happiness. Once the 'thing' passed, I found those feelings or basic foundations of being happy were still present, keeping the cycle of happiness flowing and the highs and lows to a minimum.

I did eventually learn that, no matter what I can choose to be happy NOW, not when. I can choose to wake up happy and go to bed happy. Happiness is a choice, or at least a decision. Yes it took a lot of affirming and confirming but I assure you, as you are willing to Be Happy Now, happiness will over-come you and become you, allowing you to now see your world through the eyes of happiness, what-ever happiness is for you.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Yes,-Happiness-Really-Is-Just-A-Decision-Away&id=9495043

Happiness Is a Choice and Is Already Within Us (By Dale R Duvall)

When I tell people that I haven't been angry in years, I often get the "stink eye" so I have written the "Happiness is a Choice" to clear up some of the misunderstandings. I would like to note that "never being angry" does not mean that angry thoughts do not exist, because they do. They come and go the same as thoughts of gratitude, love and good ideas. A good idea will slip away as silently as it appeared if you don't write it down. Anger too, is only a thought and will float away even sooner if we make a point of replacing it. I try to stand back and observe my thoughts, choosing the ones I wish to spend time with and allowing the others to float away. It's fun.

There is no evil greater than anger and no virtue greater than Patience. But Patience takes practice, so we are grateful for every opportunity to practice. When someone harms, frustrates, annoys, rejects, or embarrasses us, we immediately imagine a Big Red Smiling Stop Sign. We Stop, Smile, Breathe, and say, "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you," as a sincere expression of Gratitude for the opportunity to practice Patience, Kindness, and our right to choose the thoughts upon which to focus. We say Thank you silently, or audibly if appropriate, at least once and preferably three times because anything one wants to remember or emphasize should be stated three times. A name, place, concept or idea presented in threes is inherently more interesting, significant, and memorable.

We Recognize, Neutralize, Dismiss, and Replace anger, fear, guilt, worry, sadness, shame, and other harmful thoughts with Gratitude, Patience, and Kindness, knowing that something good will come of this. We are Grateful that it was not worse and feel Compassion for those who are worse off. We begin to understand the powerful connection between thought, feeling, and behavior. We discover that we can choose our feelings, and thus our behavior, by choosing to focus on more appropriate thoughts. Just as emotions trigger thoughts, thoughts trigger emotions. It is impossible to feel sad without spending time with sad thoughts, or angry without dwelling on angry thoughts, so we consciously replace harmful thoughts with Gratitude or some other worthy thought to reverse the cycle. We feel Gratitude and Compassion for our tormentors because they have been valuable teachers and are inflicted with the disease of anger, harming themselves most of all. We accept the situation for what it is and adapt to the present moment with Patient positive thoughts, wisdom, and curiosity. We ask if the problem can be resolved, and look for opportunity. Then, with a calm, peaceful mind, we allow our own natural wisdom to determine the best course of action. We remain balanced and centered, happy and at peace, with a sincere intent to promote harmony and the understanding that everything is and was as it should be. It might be that way to provide us with the opportunity to make it better. Life is a fun adventure of curiosity and wonder.

Like a fertile garden, the subtle (or Subconscious) mind will return, in abundance, whatever we plant. If we plant kindness, it will return kindness. If we plant hostility, it will return hostility. If we choose to plant corn in our garden, water and care for it, it will return hundreds of corn kernels for every one that we plant. If we choose to plant nightshade, it will return poison in just as wonderful abundance. It is impersonal. It does not care what we plant. It will return an abundance of what we plant but it will not judge what we plant. Judgment is a function of Ego and the Conscious mind, not the subtle or Subconscious mind. Things are always popping up from the subtle mind, some good and some not so good, and it is the job of the Conscious mind to observe and weed the garden by identifying and discarding harmful thoughts while allowing worthy thoughts to grow and flourish.

We need to tend our wonderful garden and tell our subtle mind what we want it to do; plant good seeds, worthy goals, and ideals. Then nurture them, care for them, and observe what shows up. Pull out the weeds and let the seeds of our goals grow. We need to be diligent, or the weeds will take over and kill our seeds. We simply need to observe and choose our thoughts. Recognize, Neutralize, Dismiss, and Replace harmful thoughts with worthy thoughts: Gratitude, Patience, and Kindness. Man's greatest disability is pessimism, and his greatest super power is the creative integration of gratitude, patience, and kindness.

We cannot always control events, but the thoughts we allow ourselves to think about a situation or event produce our feelings and moods. Our feelings and moods affect our actions and reactions which in turn affect the direction and quality of life. When we develop the ability to choose our thoughts, we will be able to control our feelings, actions, circumstances, and destiny. It has been said that destiny is no matter of chance, it is a matter of choice, and our thoughts are the driving force. Another wise man once said, "If you want to be happy and at peace, then be happy and at peace. If you want to feel good, then feel good. It's your choice. Simply choose the appropriate thoughts. If you think good thoughts, you will feel good. If you think bad thoughts, you will feel bad. If you think about nothing, you feel nothing. You are only one thought away from a good feeling. Ice Cream! The smile of a happy grateful child; Chocolate; a playful puppy or a white fluffy kitten playing with a ball of yarn; a beautiful flower, fragrance or melody."

Where one person sees a dirty window, another might see a beautiful landscape. Look beyond adversity and see the innocents. We choose what we see and what we feel by choosing our thoughts. One can be miserable in paradise, while others can be happy living in an igloo. The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but our thoughts about it which we do not necessarily have to believe. We have thoughts, but we should not let them have us. We need to be aware of the link between our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. We need to understand that we are not our thoughts or the emotions that they create, rather we are the observer and the controller with the ability to accept or dismiss our thoughts.

We can choose to be miserable, or we can choose to be happy. When harmful thoughts pop up, we Stop, Smile, Breathe, and say Thank you. We recognize anger, fear, guilt, worry, sadness, shame, and other harmful thoughts for what they are and neutralize them by understanding that they may have been appropriate at one time but NOT NOW. Then we replace those nasty thoughts with worthy thoughts: Gratitude, Patience, and Kindness. Worry, for example, is useless and seldom accomplishes anything. Worry replaces rational thought with irrational fears, and actually prevents us from resolving the situation that may have triggered the worry in the first place. Revenge belongs in the same trash bin as worry. Nothing positive has ever come out of a revengeful act.

Some people spend a lifetime searching for paradise and happiness, from beautiful beaches and mountain highlands to remote Pacific islands, and from the pampered life of affluence to abject poverty. If only they knew... it's already found!! It's here! It's all around us! Wherever we go, there it is. Paradise is where we make it. When faced with adversity we "Stop, Smile, Breathe and say Thank you." Confident that something good will come of the situation, we look for opportunity. As Helen Keller wrote, "When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." Recognize, Neutralize, Dismiss and Replace harmful thoughts, and nurture good thoughts. We choose what we see and what we feel... by choosing our thoughts.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Happiness-Is-a-Choice-and-Is-Already-Within-Us&id=9602844

You Are The Source Of All Your Happiness

One of the best accomplishments and most vital achievements we can have in life is to take control of our internal space; our feelings, contemplations, discernments and states of mind. All are in the domain of individual decision in the event that we know how to recuperate them. Feelings are a type of vitality and everyone creates a specific recurrence either high or low. For instance, sentiments of peace, liberality and positive attitude are high; sentiments of judgment, self-uncertainty, and anger are low.

I believe happiness is a choice - that you have the ability to create genuine and enduring happiness for yourself. Don't let your mind wander all day without direction or self-monitoring. Change your life by taking control of your feelings as opposed to being assumed control by them. Try not to give your musings a chance to flee your tranquility. Assume responsibility for yourself and pick contemplations that will help you.

Happiness is your choice, regardless of what's happening around you - to a specific extent. Clearly, there are times when satisfaction will take a secondary lounge, similar to when you're lamenting or in grieving. Most of the other times in our lives though, we actually choose not to be happy, by not choosing to be happy. Being positive, smiling and happy when every other person has an instance of 'Mondayitis' incredibly affects those that you meet.

Have you at any point had a companion, a relative, an associate who is by all accounts constantly ready to see the positive side of things in each circumstance? As you may figure, yes these individuals are known as the optimists. These individuals have figured out how to transform their negative sentiments into positive musings, in this manner they enhance their general point of view by and large. Being happy and positive requires courage. It's a capacity to acknowledge botches completely and assert responsibility for.

One tool that is often used to help people begin to think more positively or to become happier is called Positive Reframing. It is important to note that it does not change what had actually happened, it just changes the way you react to the circumstances. Reframing essentially implies that you take a circumstance that could be esteemed negative and transforming that experience into one that is a more target, positive and empowering manner.

The biggest mistake people make is to see negativity and positivity as polar opposites. The world is full of multiple shades of gray, and a healthy approach would be to remain mindful of 2 facts:

1. Everything has flaws, no matter how perfect it seems from the outside.

2. Every flaw has positive features, no matter how defeated they look from the outside.

Well ordered guidelines to be happy even in the most challenging circumstance:

1. Always smile 

2. Review all the blessings in your life 

3. Reward yourself sometimes 

4. Stop whining and appreciate 

5. Surround yourself with positive people 

6. Help others and learn to forgive 

7. Exercise to uplift your mind 

8. Change your attitude

Try practicing these secrets as frequently as you can until it turns into your propensity. The law of attraction will begin taking a shot at you. You will find your life changing in a positive way and begin perceiving how the universe is responding to your every desire like a miracle. Remember - "Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in concordance".

http://ezinearticles.com/?You-Are-The-Source-Of-All-Your-Happiness&id=9716436