Message From the Universe: Take Risks When Investing

"If I were a business professor and you were my student, today's lesson might sound like this:

In the "real" world, it's better to have loved and lost, tried and failed, dreamed and missed, than to sit out your turn in fear. Because the loss, the failure, and the miss, however painful, are merely temporary market adjustments, soon forgotten. Whereas the love, the adventure, and the dream are like investments that, for the rest of your life and beyond, never stop paying dividends.

Buy low, sell high -

The Universe"

As being myself a finance degree holder, I can relate to today's lesson. If you are not taking risk in the financial market, you will never experience the excitement of making money, or losing it. There are risks with everything you do in life but don't realize it. Leaving your house every morning to head out to work is a risk in itself, but for the common mind, the rebuttal would be: "things that are out of my control do not represent plausible risk for me as I have no choice if today is my last day on earth. If God wants it to be, then so be it". This logic makes sense, but risk are still there, whether you have a say in the matter or not. When it comes to investing, you do your research, choose the selected stock and wish for the best. In day trading, we buy and sell the same day in the hope of making a profit after all expenses paid. If we refer ourselves to relationships, day trading isn't the best way to go as the investment has to be for long term. Let's look at it as a mutual fund. The name is properly used not just in financial terms but also when you start a relationship with your significant other. You MUTUALLY are ready to invest time and effort to make the relationship work. You MUTUALLY put in the energy and support for each other and ready to do anything in your power to make it a success. You MUTUALLY respect each other to avoid any condescending remarks that might hurt the other person and leave scars between you too.

Let's say after all of that, you feel that the relationship isn't going anywhere. Even though you put the effort, the time, the energy, the focus and whatever else you feel you genuinely did to make this work didn't pan out the way you expected. Like any portfolio, you change your investments, switch things around, look for more conservative approach so you can see some positive changes for the years to come. Some people ignore these signs and keep their investment without making proper adjustments. In the long run, they see their investment dwindle just like their relationship. They hope that the market will change in their favor and keep their portfolio as is, just like their relationship. Eventually, patience runs out and leave you scared to invest more as you lost so much with the previous investment. This in return, creates fear in your approach of investing in the market OR relationship. Like any professional investors will tell you, you will win some and lose some but always get back on your feet and move forward, no matter what. If you keep this approach healthy, all your future investments will be done with proper research, careful analysis in past performances, studying financial reports and then jump into trading. Will this also work with your personal relationships? Definitely. Just make sure you take the time to know that person before you invest anything. Once all is clear, take that risk and see where it takes you.

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Dare To Take Risks

Risks refer to the negative aspect of that uncertainty - the possibility that something harmful may or may not occur. A risk is present in everything we do. The things that might go wrong are called project risks, and a wise project manager identifies them early at the beginning of the project so that he or she can do something about them.

It could take a lot of time to put together an alternative risk management strategy or take action to deal with the risk, so it's often a better use of your resources to do nothing for small risks. Sometimes the actions will be broadly the same; sometimes you'll have to have some tasks to reduce the chance that the risk happens and some separate tasks to make the impact of the risk smaller if it happens.

But what if the risk has a positive impact? Exploitation is the risk management strategy to use in these situations. However, you decide to approach risk, make sure that you log the action plan in your risk log and keep it up to date with the latest progress towards managing your risks

Overcoming risks may not be easy, but it's possible when you ask God to battle for you; every complex challenge, there exists a definite solution. If you can dream it, you can make it a reality. You must see challenges as virtues of opportunities for personal development. You will then have the strength to overcome the challenge.

Replace the word can't with a can. Know that you can, believe that you can, and know with ALL of your heart that you will. True success is accepting what you have to offer rather than for what you cannot do. Don't settle for your human capacity. Live up to your God-given potential. When you anticipate adversity, you can then plan for adversity. Adversity only makes us stronger. Every adversity we overcome makes our spirit and soul grow tougher.

Don't run from your weakness, you will only give it strength. Before your reach your destination, you'll find yourself going through the wilderness. While in the wilderness, your faith will be tried and tested. You'll become humble. Your vision for your life will get clearer. You're in training for your purpose. Usually, the first step is the most difficult one to take. All resistances and old habits must be eliminated. Deep within you, there must be a determination to overcome your obstacles.

Don't worry. Walk on. Continue on your journey. Soon, you'll be approaching the mountain. Get ready to climb! What matters about risks is what one does with them.You become limitless when you overcome what holds you back.

All successful people learn to navigate diverse personalities. So don't lose hopes after failure, try other ways and you'll reach there.Don't be a victim of circumstances but be victorious.Everything meaningful encounters resistance, don't get scared of whatever comes your way, just go with the right strategy and plan, there you'll overcome it at last.If the willingness is there, you can graciously fulfill your dream.

A risk is, by nature, scary. It's uncertain and unpredictable. You're heading off into uncharted territory. When it comes to risk-taking, this can result in a life that's flat and lackluster. Life doesn't come with guarantees. But it's better to try and fail rather than not try at all.

Do something about it while you still have the chance. It's not what you did that you regret the most, it's what you didn't do. So, be bold and face the risks in climbing the ladder of success!

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To Be Successful, Be Prepared To Be Doubted

In truth, to be successful, we have to be prepared to be doubted and often lose before even truly win. Success is a lifelong journey to walk on and ascent. While most of us begin our journey on what seems a smooth road, it quickly changes, bringing us uninvited turns, and unknown ups and downs.

So, how do you keep going? How can you deal with the pain, doubt, and criticism? In what way could you ever cope with failure? Is it worth all the trouble?

Well, if you want to succeed you must be prepared for any eventuality and have the resilience to face the inevitable. To be successful, you always have to take risks, change, adjust and self-develop. It is a pathway of personal growth that teaches you to deal with pain, doubt, and failure. You learn that you have to get up each time and push forward.

In any case, when you want to be successful, just be prepared because you will be doubted and tested beyond reason. An important advice is once you begin following your path, you want to fail as fast as you can because if you do not, those failures may become more costly later on.

But success can be achieved! There are countless of diverse possibilities, and where there is a will, there is a way. The world's most successful people often speak about their journeys. They even share their thoughts on how to realize it, and on how to reach it.

"Learning from the worst of times will prepare you for the best of times." - Billy Cox

The First Lesson to Be Successful

Ask any successful person, and they will tell you that for any significant accomplishment they have made, they had to undergo countless of failures. Failures are a way to know how to progress. They are lessons that lead us to be successful, but many do not always see failure in that way.

Often than not, failing is an undesirable vibe. Yet, failure is indeed essential to be successful at something. Most people never experience such feelings because they fear failure like a disease. But you should embrace failure. Yes, no one says it is easy, but it shows that you at least had the balls to try.

Therefore, when you want something, you must be willing to sacrifice and fail to acquire it. It is not an option you can avoid. When failure happens over and over, it can be very discouraging, but it is also the reason why most accomplished people are mentally strong. They never underestimate failures but rather know that they are the laying groundwork to win later.

Be Prepared to Feel Pain

To be successful, you must travel through a painful journey. You need to agree to take suffering as your traveling companion, because resisting it is futile and generate more difficulties. Feeling pain is an unconditional part if you want to pursue success. Just know that every painful story has the probability of reaching a fruitful conclusion.

Doubt and pressure are inevitable. Both stimulate you to make changes, this way teaching you what you need to reach success. At times, stress can drive you in the right direction. So, see each day as a blessing with brand-new odds and opportunities to continue forward.

Be Prepared to Be Doubted

Now, when you want to be successful, you should always keep your dreams close to you because when you share or talk about them, cynics and critics begin to appear. The reason being is that those people are too scared to pursue their own dreams, so they try to crush yours.

It is the way most human beings are when one is trying to be successful. So, avoid those negative thoughts as they are extremely contagious. A lot of closed-minded people will doubt you, try to scare you and even discourage you from going after your dreams.

Therefore, you need to be immune to these impacts when you are on your quest for to be successful. Work in silence and let your success speak. Just prove these naysayers wrong. You may not succeed the first time around, and it also may not happen for the first five times but do not stop until you do.

"The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus." -Bruce Lee

To Be Successful Is a Choice

To be successful is a choice, and of course, it is all yours to make. Let me remind you that while you walk on your journey to success, you will at times find yourself in a floating or random direction. You then will experience powerful instants of feeling lost and desperate. And it is in these times that you must hold tight and get control of your willpower.

You need to be prepared to battle that tiny voice inside your head when you have to push yourself to keep doing what you do not feel like doing. When things look grim, you may feel like quitting, but it is the fastest way to ruin your chances. When you are on the front lines or in awkward moments, keep at it, rather than quitting. So, when wanting to be successful, you must persevere and rise.

"Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, you can achieve." -Mary Kay Ash

Be Ready to Doubt Yourself

As you begin on the road to success, you find that you have feelings of being entirely paralyzed at times. The reason is that you doubt yourself. Every so often, you doubt your abilities, knowledge, or choices you have already made. You may even doubt your intuition.

Doubt creates a conflict within you over what choice you have to make to move forward. You should not delay because of thinking you might carry out the wrong decisions. To be successful, you have to push through any doubt you have and not allow it to distract you.

Know that the only wrong choice is not making one. You have the option not to doubt yourself so that you can grow and achieve. Doubts are an unavoidable part of being successful. The crucial part is that you act despite your fears.

"If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time." -Steve Jobs

Be Prepared to Lose Relationships

On your path to success, you should realize that some friends, relatives or loved ones will not be willing to support you. Wanting to be successful takes an incredible amount of energy, effort, and sacrifice. So be prepared as most of your relationships will not tolerate it, because they might feel like you owe them more of your time and effort.

All accomplished individuals make tremendous sacrifices to get to where they want to be. They trust that their friends, relatives, and loved ones will be beside while on their journey and support the sacrifices which they have to make.

You have to be prepared to lose relationships with the people who do not avidly share in your dreams. As you go along the road to success, your path will narrow down, and a handful of relations will fall off of it.

Be Willing to Be Hated for No Reason

The truth is that most people do not like successful people. Ordinary people hate the ones who have or do everything they cannot. Envy and jealousy always play along when standing out of the crowd and humbly chasing your dreams.

So, if you want to be successful, be willing to be hated for no reason. Strange as it is, no matter who you are or what you do, there will always be a certain amount of people who will not like you. But success is your biggest revenge. Therefore, learn to let your haters make you even greater.

To Be Successful Is Worth All the Trouble

To achieve anything and be successful, you have to believe in what you are doing. You have to know beyond doubt that you can and will succeed, and you have to trust the process. Anything can be accomplished when the right thoughts and actions are united. Success is worth all the trouble!

"Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you're proud to live." -Anne Sweeney

So, the lesson here is that you need to become stronger from your failures, not weaker. Analyze why you failed. See what is wrong and what is right. Make an evaluation of your skills in the areas needed for you to be successful. Adjust your sails and keep moving forward.

Obstacles, walls, and failures are nothing but other necessary elements for your success. It all starts with you. While you see that to be successful, you have to make sacrifices, keep the focus on your vision and trust in the process; it still all worth it in the end anyway. Tomorrow may never come; so start today.

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How To Create Your Own Success Story

To create your own success story, you have to realize at first that you might just be the key to it. It is quite an odd concept, and yet, if you can visualize the person you want to be, you may win half of the battle already. So, in spite of everything else, you must see where you are going to get there, right?

Therefore, what can you do to generate your own success story? How can you make your dream come true? Which are the necessary steps you have to take?

In this digital age, to succeed and to create your own success story, you must take a few simple steps. It could significantly help you make tremendous progress towards your goals. At first glance, it may sound kind of frightening, but in reality, it is precisely the opposite.

These necessary steps provide you the best chance to take advantage of your skills, abilities, talents, and effort both in professional and personal life. It allows you to get on the horse and grip the reins of your future success story with confidence. And in doing so, you can lead all of your drive towards accomplishing your objectives.

From Dreams to Success Story 

When you look at it carefully, dreamers always win, once they follow through with actions of course. They are the high achievers because they have the passion for succeeding. Dreamers are passionate people who take risks and make daring moves, so that their dreams may become a reality.

Therefore, if you are a dreamer attracted to whatever success story you envision for yourself, you have to learn a few ways to visualize your future. Why? The reason is that you need to have a clear vision of what your life is going to be like.

So, you must take a snap photo of what your success story is like for you. Imagine all the details such as where do you live, how much you are making, how many employees do you have, are you sitting down with world leaders or delivering a speech on a stage, and hold on to that snapshot.

Visualize Your Success Story 

By holding on to that vision like it is an obsession, you will subconsciously start making decisions that will get you there. Then you have to write your objectives down on paper each day. I do each morning and evening. And then work hard to make your goals a success story.

Visualize Yourself 

To create your own success story, you have to take a snapshot of yourself and your appearance.

See the clothes you are wearing. Look at the colors you have on. Imagine the difference between now and then. Realize how you feel. See if you are smiling, severe or thoughtful.

These snapshots allow you to identify the kind of clothes you want for yourself.

Read about Any Other Success Story 

You have to read and learn from other people's success stories that they all started from nothing. Most people always see and know the success but not many look at where successful people came from and what they had to do to get where they are at today.

Imagine Your Surroundings 

Like I said earlier, you need to imagine all the details about your surroundings. You have to see such things as where do you live, how much money you make, how many people work for you, are you the CEO of your own business, are you sitting down or on a stage giving a speech?

These things will trigger your subconscious to push you forward to higher levels of success and create your own success story.

See Who Is at Your Side 

When you look ahead, who do you see beside you, supporting you? Visualize if there are people who were already at your side while you were struggling. Imagine if the individuals that are working for you. See how many children you have, if you give back to the community around you and make a difference in other's lives.

Picture Your New Lifestyle 

In any success story, there is always some reference to a change of priorities in life. So, picture how your life has changed. See the new perspective you hold for yourself. Imagine the new routines you have. Visualize your new lifestyle and how you live.

Visualizing your success is an essential part of getting you to that point. As I said before, it is already half of the battle won.

Create Your Own Success Story 

Next, if you realize what your keys to change are, visualize what you want apparently and then take action, you will be well on your way to make your success story a reality. Here are some ideas to start the future.

• It is better to do what you love. Being an entrepreneur is a great way to do what you love and get paid for it, even if it takes some time at first. Anyway, you will not feel the obligation to do what you do not want to do for the sake of a paycheck.
• Learn new skills. Whatever your dreams are, it will require a set of new skills from you. You will have no other choice as you will be exposed to every little thing in your industry. But this experience can help you emerge as an expert one day.
• Be your own boss, so you can decide on your working hours. However, you do have to work long hours at the beginning of any business or success story, for that matter. And when your business is growing, you can grant yourself the choice to set priorities and create your work and life balance.
• Help others. When you build your success story, you can create jobs for other people and help those around you. You can also improve the well-being of your community by giving back.
• Take risks and get new opportunities. Every challenge that comes into your life is an opportunity to grow. In the journey of your success story, plenty of problems will arise and make you stronger to withstand any storm.
• You can always create your own brand. This way, you do not only own a business, but you are building a legacy that will continue its existence, even after you have departed.

So, to create your own success story, it does not matter if you want to build your own a business or not. What matters is whatever your dreams are; you will have to take risks. But again, with risk comes opportunity, then reward follows. Therefore, get a snapshot of your future yourself and go for it!

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Create-Your-Own-Success-Story&id=9831333

You Only Live Once So Make The Most Out Of It

We all want to live our lives in every way possible. We want to make the most life has to offer. But then again, there are just so many things that are impeding us from getting the life we deserve.

There is work, money, time, other people and OURSELVES! Yes, may be the reason why you are not living the life you ought to live is because you are not letting yourself be in that kind of life. You are so focused on what should you be rather than what you want to be. It is like not being able to differentiate your wants from your needs. You don't have to have what famous people have to say that you are living a life.

It is not about the things that you don't have that make a wonderful life, rather it is the things that are already in your possession and how you utilize them. Take note, the bests in life come with no price tag.

Be positive. All the time!

Negativity is just around the corner waiting to consume you. Try seeing the positive side of everything because that is only when you have quality thoughts and happiness. Positivity is a choice.

Believe in yourself!

Happiness is when you do something you wanted to do so badly but the thought of failing is making you take a step backward. The first critic of your actions is yourself. You cannot make people see your worth if you don't see it yourself. Remember that you are winner that is why you are here (and not those other sperm cells.)

Be courageous. Take risks!

Big opportunities only knock once so when they do, open your doors. Everything is a gamble because you cannot foresee tomorrow. Don't be afraid to fail because without it, you cannot value the moment when you've finally succeeded. Your what if's will be your greatest midnight hunters.

Be crazy. Violate rules!

Obedience is awesome but rules, like promises, are meant to be broken. Violating rules once in a while is fun, even a simple crossing on the road when the light turns red with the presence of traffic officers will be fun. Just don't get caught and run as fast as you can. The moment you will be in that place again, I am sure as hell that you are going to laugh at yourself.

Be yourself!

You can idolize someone but don't try to be completely like them. You are your own unique self and you don't have to be like someone else to be part of the group. Honesty is the best policy and be honest of your own self. It is so much better to be hated for who you are rather than be loved for what you're not.

How you handle what life throws at you is the secret on how to be successful and how to make your life worth living. Happiness is a choice. As Leo Tolstoy would say, if you want to be happy, be.

http://ezinearticles.com/?You-Only-Live-Once-So-Make-The-Most-Out-Of-It&id=9531538

How To Spice Up Your Boring Life

When you feel that your life is getting boring, you would tend to do all possible things in order to spice it up. For example, you will have to face constant obstacles at your workplace. In addition, you could get bored with your marriage or love routine. Or else, you could also get bored with the atmosphere that you are surrounded with. In all such instances, you will need to find something that you are passionate about in order to spice up the boring life. Here is a list of effective tips that you can keep in mind in order to spice up your boring life.

1. Do Something Extraordinary Every Day

If you do new things, you will get the opportunity to spice up your boring life. In fact, doing different things has the potential to assist you to change your mindset. Unfortunately, most of the people don't tend to do extraordinary things because they are afraid to take risks. If you want to spice up your life, you should get rid of that fear. You don't need to risk your life in order to spice it up. For example, you can go to work by bus instead of taking your car. This new experience would bring new emotions to you. On the other hand, you can think about spending more time with pastime activities and hobbies.

2. Create A Dream Journal

You can think of starting your own dream journal. Then you will be able to write at least one dream per day. While you dream, a mix of emotions and positive feelings would run across your mind. In fact, dreaming is directly associated with your passions and desires. If you have a great amount of dreams in your journal, you would get the opportunity to spice up your boring life without going through any hassle.

3. Make New Friends By Visiting A Nightclub.

Out of the different methods available for you to make new friends, visiting a nightclub can be considered as the best option available to try. You can certainly find a lot of like-minded individuals when you are at a night club. You can simply approach someone you like and then start a casual conversation. It would eventually turn into a friendship.

4. Give Thanks And Complements

You can take a moment to compliment the others around you. You can complement your colleagues, family members, friends or just random people. Having this habit would definitely payback to you tenfold.

5. Get Physical Exercise

You don't need to obtain the membership of a gym in order to engage in physical exercise. You can simply go for a walk every single morning. It has the potential to change your lifestyle as well as your outlook. On the other hand, this would contribute towards your health in the long run as well.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Spice-Up-Your-Boring-Life&id=9599169

Are You Letting Your Past Determine Your Today?

The past is history regardless of its positives or negatives. Right now, this moment, this day is all you have or are guaranteed. Will you live it with maturity, wisdom and common sense or will you let the mistakes, regrets, failures or challenges from the past alter or negatively impact what could be the opportunities that come to you today?

Sooner or later we all do dumb things, things in hindsight we regret, that's life as none of us are without flaws or are perfect. If you take risks sooner or later you will fail at something - a career, relationship, financial situation or any other life issue - let me repeat - that's life and the only way to avoid mistakes, failure or problems in any way is to lock yourself in a log cabin in Vermont and stare at the birds all day.

I won't bore you with all of my failures during my life cause if I did I'll guarantee you would stop reading and say, "why should I listen to your council - you are a poor example of how to live life successfully."

OK, you're right but let me add that unless you are willing to fail and make mistakes you will learn very little about how life works and how to overcome and eventually win.

Why do people let past mistakes or failure have a negative influence on today's actions, decisions, choices or behavior? Well, I'm not a psychologist, but just a student in life and I believe it's for one or several of the following reasons.

1) They live every day with fear as their primary motivator. 

2) They worry too much about the approval of others. 

3) They need to have control of every aspect of life. 

4) They let their ego's rule their life decisions and actions. 

5) They have low self-esteem or self-confidence. 

6) They believe failure is negative. 

7) They are unwilling to take full responsibility for their actions or choices. 

8) They have a dramatic sense of entitlement. 

9) They are constantly in blame mode. 

10) They have a mindset of risk avoidance. 

11) They feel inadequate or unworthy as an individual. 

12) They give up control of their life to others or circumstances. 

13) They stopped learning when they left high school. 

14) They fear rejection. 

15) They have a self-righteous attitude.

Any one of these behaviors or mindsets will contribute to letting your past have a negative influence on your today's. Are you willing to honestly evaluate each of these and face reality and how you might be letting yesterday impact today due to any of the above reasons?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Are-You-Letting-Your-Past-Determine-Your-Today?&id=9370386

Dabble! You Have To Start Somewhere

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced." - Vincent Van Gogh

Content can take many forms. Of course it can be written, but now it can also be on video, podcasts, teleclasses, webinars, blabs, periscopes, the list goes on and on.

New platforms and new ways of creating content can be intimidating.

Saying "I can't... " is a surefire way to guarantee that you won't create something, that you won't grow, that you won't make a difference.

Even Van Gogh wasn't born being a professional painter. He had to start somewhere.

Dabble!

As adults, we often stop ourselves from trying new things because we think we won't be good at them immediately. We have high expectations right from the beginning. And that often means we never give ourselves the chance to try and to learn and to improve.

To dabble in something has a different feeling.

When we dabble, we lower our expectations. We give ourselves some space to just give it a shot.

Painting Bars

There is a great bar in Milwaukee that serves up canvases with their drinks. (They do sessions led by artists, and other cool things too).

One night, I was there with my husband during "Gallery Night." It was a public event in the area, so lots of people were out and about checking out places in the neighborhood. A couple of guys walked into this bar and ordered a beer.

One of them looked skeptically at the people who were painting, including me, and asked what was going on.

The bar tender explained how it worked and offered him a canvas and some paint. But he declined with a half smile that looked simultaneously embarrassed and "too cool."

But he kept watching other people painting. His friend encouraged him to give it a try. And finally he said, "Okay, why not?"

It was such a treat to watch him (and eventually my husband too!) dabble in the world of painting, something they had zero experience with.

And the result?

It turned out to be a lot more fun than they thought, and the end product was far better than they ever expected.

That's the magic!

Now, those men may never paint another picture again. But they can no longer say that they "can't" do it.

New Possibilities

This painting bar has grown a successful day-time business of hosting corporate groups for team-building and leadership events. It's hugely popular because when people are made to dabble in something outside their norm, new possibilities open up.

They become more vulnerable. They support each other differently. They take risks in ways they otherwise might not.

Many years ago, I thought that when I started my own business, it would be one of those "Paint Your Own Pottery" shops because I love encouraging and witnessing people dabble in new forms of creativity.

Now I do that in a different way, working with entrepreneurs on creating content. The similarities are striking.

Rather than stepping up to a blank canvas, you are stepping up to a blank computer screen or a video camera or a smart phone. In any of these cases you must be willing to put something on it and see what happens.

When you start by dabbling, you open the way toward improvement, new creations, and growth.

What is the thing you've been wanting to try for a while but haven't done it? How can you dabble in it? Get started!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Dabble!-You-Have-To-Start-Somewhere&id=9295791

Slay the Inner Critic Gremlin - Your Most Important First Step

During my workshops, I have a few rules for my participants:

No email, phone, or social media

Commit to doing it badly

Don't edit, unless that's the specific project for the workshop

Take projects in chunks instead of trying to look at entire project

Follow your energy

Why do I have rules? Because without them, it's very easy to be paralyzed by the creative process. Here are things I hear from my clients and people in my programs all the time:

"I'm so overwhelmed... I don't know where to start!"

"I feel scattered. I have notes on bits of paper everywhere."

"What if it's not good enough?"

The rules for my workshop work for any project, and, honestly, that's why they're there. Because, otherwise, you would get so caught up in the overwhelm, stress, and anxiety that you wouldn't make any progress.

I ran into this myself just this week. I'm working on the copy for my newest rebrand and reinvention, and when I first started on the new website home page, I struggled like mad.

"Will people understand what I'm offering?" "It has to be perfect." "I have to do it right." "My copy must be inspiring and authentic." "Do I have the right call to action?"

Ack! I got tired of hearing myself!

I recognized that these were the words of my inner critic gremlin, the beast who wants status quo. He doesn't want me to stretch and do new things and take risks. That's much too scary for him, and he might lose his cushy job of proclaiming doom and gloom.

I did what I tell my clients to do...

I kept breaking the project down into pieces - and in different ways. First, I made a website page layout map with all the pages I wanted on the website, what layout (single column, two column, etc.), and any notes about the copy. Then, I created a table to see what pages were on my existing site so that I can determine what pages would stay on the original website and what pages might move to the new website.

I jotted down notes and to-do's in another document, like needing new social media icons, a favicon, a banner for emails, a visual text editor for WordPress, and so on. I tried not to let ideas, concerns, and to-do's muck up the creative process, while at the same time not losing what could be a valuable note or future action item.

I just kept on writing the copy. There were times it didn't make sense or one paragraph didn't flow into the other. I just wrote what came to me and what I knew to be true. I moved paragraphs around. I deleted some. I made notes to myself to add more copy - later.

I got as far as I could (and far from done or perfect!) and just stopped. No, it's not done, AND I've done enough for now. I sent it off to my website designer, and I'll revisit it in a few days.

Your takeaways from this article:

Starting is harder than finishing (in most cases), so just starting is a win.

We want to bypass first drafts and go straight to the final draft. Bad move as that sucks the creativity and energy out of you.

Embrace the draft and the first attempt and commit to doing it badly.

May we save ourselves from our inner critic gremlins!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Slay-the-Inner-Critic-Gremlin---Your-Most-Important-First-Step&id=9312779

The 10 most important life lessons to master in your 30s

A few weeks ago I turned 30. Leading up to my birthday I wrote a post on what I learned in my 20s. But I did something else. I sent an email out to my subscribers and asked readers age 37 and older what advice they would give their 30-year-old selves. The idea was that I would crowdsource the life experience from my older readership and create another article based on their collective wisdom.

The result was spectacular. I received over 600 responses, many of which were over a page in length. It took me a solid three days to read through them all and I was floored by the quality of insight people sent.

So first of all, a hearty thank you to all who contributed and helped create this article.

While going through the emails what surprised me the most was just how consistent some of the advice was. The same five or six pieces of advice came up over and over and over again in different forms across literally hundreds of emails. It seems that there really are a few core pieces of advice that are particularly relevant to this decade of your life.

Below are 10 of the most common themes appearing throughout all of the 600 emails. The majority of the article is comprised of dozens of quotes taken from readers. Some are left anonymous. Others have their age listed.

1. Start saving money for retirement now, not later

“I spent my 20s recklessly, but your 30s should be when you make a big financial push. Retirement planning is not something to put off. Understanding boring things like insurance, 401ks & mortgages is important since its all on your shoulders now. Educate yourself.” (Kash, 41)

The most common piece of advice—so common that almost every single email said at least something about it—was to start getting your financial house in order and to start saving for retirement… today.

There were a few categories this advice fell into:

• Make it your top priority to pay down all of your debt as soon as possible.
• Keep an “emergency fund”—there were tons of horror stories about people getting financially ruined by health issues, lawsuits, divorces, bad business deals, etc.
• Stash away a portion of every paycheck, preferably into a 401k, an IRA or at the least, a savings account.
• Don’t spend frivolously. Don’t buy a home unless you can afford to get a good mortgage with good rates.
• Don’t invest in anything you don’t understand. Don’t trust stockbrokers.

One reader said, “If you are in debt more than 10% of your gross annual salary this is a huge red flag. Quit spending, pay off your debt and start saving.” Another wrote, “I would have saved more money in an emergency fund because unexpected expenses really killed my budget. I would have been more diligent about a retirement fund, because now mine looks pretty small.”

And then there were the readers who were just completely screwed by their inability to save in their 30s. One reader named Jodi wishes she had started saving 10% of every paycheck when she was 30. Her career took a turn for the worst and now she’s stuck at 57, still living paycheck to paycheck. Another woman, age 62, didn’t save because her husband out-earned her. They later got divorced and she soon ran into health problems, draining all of the money she received in the divorce settlement. She, too, now lives paycheck to paycheck, slowly waiting for the day social security kicks in. Another man related a story of having to be supported by his son because he didn’t save and unexpectedly lost his job in the 2008 crash.

The point was clear: save early and save as much as possible. One woman emailed me saying that she had worked low-wage jobs with two kids in her 30s and still managed to sock away some money in a retirement fund each year. Because she started early and invested wisely, she is now in her 50s and financially stable for the first time in her life. Her point: it’s always possible. You just have to do it.

2. Start taking care of your health now, not later

“Your mind’s acceptance of age is 10 to 15 years behind your body’s aging. Your health will go faster than you think but it will be very hard to notice, not the least because you don’t want it to happen.” (Tom, 55)

We all know to take care of our health. We all know to eat better and sleep better and exercise more and blah, blah, blah. But just as with the retirement savings, the response from the older readers was loud and unanimous: get healthy and stay healthy now.

So many people said it that I’m not even going to bother quoting anybody else. Their points were pretty much all the same: the way you treat your body has a cumulative effect; it’s not that your body suddenly breaks down one year, it’s been breaking down all along without you noticing. This is the decade to slow down that breakage.

And this wasn’t just your typical motherly advice to eat your veggies. These were emails from cancer survivors, heart attack survivors, stroke survivors, people with diabetes and blood pressure problems, joint issues and chronic pain. They all said the same thing: “If I could go back, I would start eating better and exercising and I would not stop. I made excuses then. But I had no idea.”

3. Don’t spend time with people who don’t treat you well

“Learn how to say ‘no’ to people, activities and obligations that don’t bring value to your life.” (Hayley, 37)

After calls to take care of your health and your finances, the most common piece of advice from people looking back at their 30-year-old selves was an interesting one: they would go back and enforce stronger boundaries in their lives and dedicate their time to better people.

“Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself or another person.” (Kristen, 43)

What does that mean specifically?

“Don’t tolerate people who don’t treat you well. Period. Don’t tolerate them for financial reasons. Don’t tolerate them for emotional reasons. Don’t tolerate them for the children’s sake or for convenience sake.” (Jane, 52)

“Don’t settle for mediocre friends, jobs, love, relationships and life.” (Sean, 43)

“Stay away from miserable people… they will consume you, drain you.” (Gabriella, 43)

“Surround yourself and only date people that make you a better version of yourself, that bring out your best parts, love and accept you.” (Xochie)

People typically struggle with boundaries because they find it difficult to hurt someone else’s feelings, or they get caught up in the desire to change the other person or make them treat them the way they want to be treated. This never works. And in fact, it often makes it worse. As one reader wisely said, “Selfishness and self-interest are two different things. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.”

When we’re in our 20s, the world is so open to opportunity and we’re so short on experience that we cling to the people we meet, even if they’ve done nothing to earn our clingage. But by our 30s we’ve learned that good relationships are hard to come by, that there’s no shortage of people to meet and friends to be made, and that there’s no reason to waste our time with people who don’t help us on our life’s path.

4. Be good to the people you care about

“Show up with and for your friends. You matter, and your presence matters.” (Jessica, 40)

Conversely, while enforcing stricter boundaries on who we let into our lives, many readers advised to make the time for those friends and family that we do decide to keep close.

“I think sometimes I may have taken some relationships for granted, and when that person is gone, they’re gone. Unfortunately, the older you get, well, things start to happen, and it will affect those closest to you.” (Ed, 45)

“Appreciate those close to you. You can get money back and jobs back, but you can never get time back.” (Anne, 41)

“Tragedy happens in everyone’s life, everyone’s circle of family and friends. Be the person that others can count on when it does. I think that between 30 and 40 is the decade when a lot of shit finally starts to happen that you might have thought never would happen to you or those you love. Parents die, spouses die, babies are still-born, friends get divorced, spouses cheat… the list goes on and on. Helping someone through these times by simply being there, listening and not judging is an honor and will deepen your relationships in ways you probably can’t yet imagine.” (Rebecca, 40)

5. You can’t have everything; focus on doing a few things really well

“Everything in life is a trade-off. You give up one thing to get another and you can’t have it all. Accept that.” (Eldri, 60)

In our 20s we have a lot of dreams. We believe that we have all of the time in the world. I myself remember having illusions that my website would be my first career of many. Little did I know that it took the better part of a decade to even get competent at this. And now that I’m competent and have a major advantage and love what I do, why would I ever trade that in for another career?

“In a word: focus. You can simply get more done in life if you focus on one thing and do it really well. Focus more.” (Ericson, 49)

Another reader: “I would tell myself to focus on one or two goals/aspirations/dreams and really work towards them. Don’t get distracted.” And another: “You have to accept that you cannot do everything. It takes a lot of sacrifice to achieve anything special in life.”

A few readers noted that most people arbitrarily choose their careers in their late teens or early 20s, and as with many of our choices at those ages, they are often wrong choices. It takes years to figure out what we’re good at and what we enjoy doing. But it’s better to focus on our primary strengths and maximize them over the course of lifetime than to half-ass something else.

“I’d tell my 30-year-old self to set aside what other people think and identify my natural strengths and what I’m passionate about, and then build a life around those.” (Sara, 58)

For some people, this will mean taking big risks, even in their 30s and beyond. It may mean ditching a career they spent a decade building and giving up money they worked hard for and became accustomed to. Which brings us to…

6. Don’t be afraid of taking risks, you can still change

“While by age 30 most feel they should have their career dialed in, it is never too late to reset. The individuals that I have seen with the biggest regrets during this decade are those that stay in something that they know is not right. It is such an easy decade to have the days turn to weeks to years, only to wake up at 40 with a mid-life crisis for not taking action on a problem they were aware of 10 years prior but failed to act.” (Richard, 41)

“Biggest regrets I have are almost exclusively things I did *not* do.” (Sam, 47)

Many readers commented on how society tells us that by 30 we should have things “figured out”—our career situation, our dating/marriage situation, our financial situation and so on. But this isn’t true. And, in fact, dozens and dozens of readers implored to not let these social expectations of “being an adult” deter you from taking some major risks and starting over. As someone on my Facebook page responded: “All adults are winging it.”

“I am about to turn 41 and would tell my 30-year-old self that you do not have to conform your life to an ideal that you do not believe in. Live your life, don’t let it live you. Don’t be afraid of tearing it all down if you have to, you have the power to build it all back up again.” (Lisa, 41)

Multiple readers related making major career changes in their 30s and being better off for doing so. One left a lucrative job as a military engineer to become a teacher. Twenty years later, he called it one of the best decisions of his life. When I asked my mom this question, her answer was, “I wish I had been willing to think outside the box a bit more. Your dad and I kind of figured we had to do thing A, thing B, thing C, but looking back I realize we didn’t have to at all; we were very narrow in our thinking and our lifestyles and I kind of regret that.”

“Less fear. Less fear. Less fear. I am about to turn 50 next year, and I am just getting that lesson. Fear was such a detrimental driving force in my life at 30. It impacted my marriage, my career, my self-image in a fiercely negative manner. I was guilty of: Assuming conversations that others might be having about me. Thinking that I might fail. Wondering what the outcome might be. If I could do it again, I would have risked more.” (Aida, 49)

7. You must continue to grow and develop yourself

“You have two assets that you can never get back once you’ve lost them: your body and your mind. Most people stop growing and working on themselves in their 20s. Most people in their 30s are too busy to worry about self-improvement. But if you’re one of the few who continues to educate themselves, evolve their thinking and take care of their mental and physical health, you will be light-years ahead of the pack by 40.” (Stan, 48)

It follows that if one can still change in their 30s—and should continue to change in their 30s—then one must continue to work to improve and grow. Many readers related the choice of going back to school and getting their degrees in their 30s as one of the most useful things they had ever done. Others talked of taking extra seminars and courses to get a leg up. Others started their first businesses or moved to new countries. Others checked themselves into therapy or began a meditation practice.

As Warren Buffett once said, the greatest investment a young person can make is in their own education, in their own mind. Because money comes and goes. Relationships come and go. But what you learn once stays with you forever.

“The number one goal should be to try to become a better person, partner, parent, friend, colleague etc.—in other words to grow as an individual.” (Aimilia, 39)

8. Nobody (still) knows what they’re doing, get used to it

“Unless you are already dead—mentally, emotionally, and socially—you cannot anticipate your life 5 years into the future. It will not develop as you expect. So just stop it. Stop assuming you can plan far ahead, stop obsessing about what is happening right now because it will change anyway, and get over the control issue about your life’s direction. Fortunately, because this is true, you can take even more chances and not lose anything; you cannot lose what you never had. Besides, most feelings of loss are in your mind anyway—few matter in the long term.”(Thomas, 56)

In my article about what I learned in my 20s, one of my lessons was “Nobody Knows What They’re Doing,” and that this was good news. Well, according to the 40+ crowd, this continues to be true in one’s 30s and, well, forever it seems; and it continues to be good news forever as well.

“Most of what you think is important now will seem unimportant in 10 or 20 years and that’s OK. That’s called growth. Just try to remember to not take yourself so seriously all the time and be open to it.” (Simon, 57)

“Despite feeling somewhat invincible for the last decade, you really don’t know what’s going to happen and neither does anyone else, no matter how confidently they talk. While this is disturbing to those who cling to permanence or security, it’s truly liberating once you grasp the truth that things are always changing. To finish, there might be times that are really sad. Don’t dull the pain or avoid it. Sorrow is part of everyone’s lifetime and the consequence of an open and passionate heart. Honor that. Above all, be kind to yourself and others, it’s such a brilliant and beautiful ride and keeps on getting better.” (Prue, 38)

“I’m 44. I would remind my 30 year old self that at 40, my 30s would be equally filled with dumb stuff, different stuff, but still dumb stuff… So, 30 year old self, don’t go getting on your high horse. You STILL don’t know it all. And that’s a good thing.” (Shirley, 44)

9. Invest in your family, it’s worth it

“Spend more time with your folks. It’s a different relationship when you’re an adult and it’s up to you how you redefine your interactions. They are always going to see you as their kid until the moment you can make them see you as your own man. Everyone gets old. Everyone dies. Take advantage of the time you have left to set things right and enjoy your family.” (Kash, 41)

I was overwhelmed with amount of responses about family and the power of those responses. Family is the big new relevant topic for this decade for me, because you get it on both ends. Your parents are old and you need to start considering how your relationship with them is going to function as a self-sufficient adult. And then you also need to contemplate creating a family of your own.

Pretty much everybody agreed to get over whatever problems you have with your parents and find a way to make it work with them. One reader wrote, “You’re too old to blame your parents for any of your own short-comings now. At 20 you could get away with it, you’d just left the house. At 30, you’re a grown-up. Seriously. Move on.”

But then there’s the question that plagues every single 30-year-old: to baby or not to baby?

“You don’t have the time. You don’t have the money. You need to perfect your career first. They’ll end your life as you know it. Oh shut up… Kids are great. They make you better in every way. They push you to your limits. They make you happy. You should not defer having kids. If you are 30, now is the time to get real about this. You will never regret it.” (Kevin, 38)

“It’s never the ‘right time’ for children because you have no idea what you’re getting into until you have one. If you have a good marriage and environment to raise them, err on having them earlier rather than later, you’ll get to enjoy more of them.” (Cindy, 45)

“All my preconceived notions about what a married life is like were wrong. Unless you’ve already been married, everyone’s are. Especially once you have kids. Try to stay open to the experience and fluid as a person; your marriage is worth it, and your happiness seems as much tied to your ability to change and adapt as anything else. I wasn’t planning on having kids. From a purely selfish perspective, this was the dumbest thing of all. Children are the most fulfilling, challenging, and exhausting endeavor anyone can ever undertake. Ever.” (Rich, 44)

The consensus about marriage seemed to be that it was worth it, assuming you had a healthy relationship with the right person. If not, you should run the other way (See #3).

But interestingly, I got a number of emails like the following:

“What I know now vs 10-13 years ago is simply this… bars, woman, beaches, drink after drink, clubs, bottle service, trips to different cities because I had no responsibility other than work, etc… I would trade every memory of that life for a good woman that was actually in love with me… and maybe a family. I would add, don’t forget to actually grow up and start a family and take on responsibilities other than success at work. I am still having a little bit of fun… but sometimes when I go out, I feel like the guy that kept coming back to high school after he graduated (think Matthew McConaughey’s character in Dazed and Confused). I see people in love and on dates everywhere. “Everyone” my age is in their first or second marriage by now! Being perpetually single sounds amazing to all of my married friends but it is not the way one should choose to live their life.” (Anonymous, 43)

“I would have told myself to stop constantly searching for the next best thing and I would have appreciated the relationships that I had with some of the good, genuine guys that truly cared for me. Now I’m always alone and it feels too late.” (Fara, 38)

On the flip side, there were a small handful of emails that took the other side of the coin:

“Don’t feel pressured to get married or have kids if you don’t want to. What makes one person happy doesn’t make everyone happy. I’ve chosen to stay single and childless and I still live a happy and fulfilled life. Do what feels right for you.” (Anonymous, 40)

Conclusion: It seems that while family is not absolutely necessary to have a happy and fulfilling life, the majority of people have found that family is always worth the investment, assuming the relationships are healthy and not toxic and/or abusive.

10. Be kind to yourself, respect yourself

“Be a little selfish and do something for yourself every day, something different once a month and something spectacular every year.” (Nancy, 60)

This one was rarely the central focus of any email, but it was present in some capacity in almost all of them: treat yourself better. Almost everybody said this in one form or another. “There is no one who cares about or thinks about your life a fraction of what you do,” one reader began, and, “life is hard, so learn to love yourself now, it’s harder to learn later,” another reader finished.

Or as Renee, 40, succinctly put it: “Be kind to yourself.”

Many readers included the old cliche: “Don’t sweat the small stuff; and it’s almost all small stuff.” Eldri, 60, wisely said, “When confronted with a perceived problem, ask yourself, ‘Is this going to matter in five years, ten years?’ If not, dwell on it for a few minutes, then let it go.” It seems many readers have focused on the subtle life lesson of simply accepting life as is, warts and all.

Which brings me to the last quote from Martin, age 58:

“When I turned 40 my father told me that I’d enjoy my forties because in your 20s you think you know what’s going on, in your 30s you realize you probably don’t, and in your 40s you can relax and just accept things. I’m 58 and he was right.”

This post originally appeared at markmanson.net.

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