How To Improve Your Likeability

What do your actions say about your character? If someone were to ask your family, your friends and your co-workers what type of person you are would they give the same answer? If your character ran true the answer would be "yes."

Now you may be thinking, "I have to be different around my family than I do my co-workers. I have to young children and I obviously don't want to talk to them the same way I do my buddies on the construction site." This is completely understandable... but erroneous thinking.

Do you suffer from multiple personality disorder? You must if you have to be a different person depending on your environment. Someone whose personality changes on a moment by moment basis is a fragmented person. This fragmentation leads to a lot of emotional upheaval and trauma. When you act differently depending on the group of people you are around, you're sort of having a "disordered" moment.

Have a universal speaking environment.

Integrity means to have an integrated life. If you have integrity you are the same person regardless of the environment. No matter what group of people you are around you are always the same person.

In the case of work, treat it like you're with your kids. I'm guessing there is a good chance at least one or two of your co-workers act like kids or at least teenagers, so this shouldn't be hard to do. But even if all of your co-workers act mature, do any of them gossip? Do you? Gossip speaks volumes about a person's character, or lack thereof.

Two words that change everything.

There are two words, that if you focus on them and take them to heart, will make people look up to you and admire you, regardless of what you do for a living or how much money you make. But be warned, these two words are on a path that takes some serious discipline at first to walk.

What are these two words? Dignity and Respect. When you treat others with dignity and respect it can't be missed. Of course, this requires you to treat yourself with dignity and respect. These are two of the most powerful character traits. Think about it for a moment. How do you feel when someone is respectful toward you? You hold them in a more favorable light. And when you help someone keep their dignity you allow them to save face, whether that person is in your presence or others are trying to talk about that person behind their back.

As a whole most people are pretty good about treating people with dignity and respect most of the time, but not ALL of the time.

How do you create the habit of treating people this way?

Habits are created by our daily thoughts and routines. If you're going to treat others with dignity and respect consistently you have to measure yourself consistently. The easiest way to do this is to make a little note card.On the top of the note card write, "Did I do my best to treat everyone with dignity and respect?" Then list out the days of the week. At the end of every day ask yourself this question, then under that day you're going to rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 10. You will quickly discover that you're not as good at this as you think. BUT, you will also start to quickly shift your thoughts and actions. You will start to change your habitual conversations with people who bring out your worst instead of your best, because as you start speaking the question automatically pops into your head..

The end result, everyone will hold you in much higher regard and treat you with dignity and respect... because you deserve it!

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Improve-Your-Likeability&id=9361812

6 Ways to Improve Your Conversations

The solution to the age-old problem of understanding others may be as simple as taking the time to improve your active listening skills. Active listening is all about building rapport, understanding and trust.

Your “likability” factor is largely determined by your ability to effectively listen to client and customer suggestions and successfully respond to their needs, requests and concerns. But you don’t have to be born with the gift of gab to become an expert communicator. Here are six tips to help you become a better listener and actually hear what others are saying, not just what you think they are saying or what you want to hear.

1. Show a real interest. When you speak to someone, especially in a busy or loud environment, give him or her your full attention. If you find yourself distracted or can’t hear them well, ask to move to a quieter area. Practice empathetic listening. Put yourself in his or her shoes and try to see the situation through his or her eyes. Ask questions and encourage the other person to elaborate. Even if you haven’t experienced the same situation, try sharing a personal story about a time when you felt similarly.

2. Use the magic words: “Tell me.” Most people will cherish the opportunity to share their stories and experiences. To start a conversation, use the two most powerful words in conversation: “Tell me.” Successful conversationalists avoid questions that may be answered with a simple yes or no. Ask open-ended questions and then listen. For example, you may say, “Tell me, Joe, what prompted you to start your own business?” Or ask for their input, “I’d like to take my family on a vacation this summer. Tell me, do you have a favorite vacation spot?” When you choose a topic of conversation that demonstrates interest in the other person, the discussion will flow more smoothly.

3. Say the other person’s name. Dale Carnegie once said, “A person’s name is to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language.” Any business acquaintance will be flattered and impressed if you remember his or her name. If you have difficulty remembering names, set out to practice as frequently as possible. When you meet someone for the first time, say the person’s name immediately. Respond with something like, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Frank.” Then use their name a couple of times throughout your conversation. When the conversation ends, say their name one last time: “I really enjoyed meeting you, Jim.”

4. Agree heartily; disagree softly. When someone agrees with you, it establishes an instant bond. Suddenly, you both have something in common. However, the strongest professional relationships exhibit mutual respect and admiration, even in disagreements. Tolerance and respect for others, especially when they disagree with you, is vital to successful networking. If you strongly disagree with someone’s opinion, softly communicate that you don’t see it the same way. Ask questions and allow the person to fully express his or her reasoning.

5. Talk less; listen more.

 When someone speaks to you, listen with your whole body. Nod, make eye contact, and be fully engaged in what they have to say. Attentive listening will build trust and help you establish a professional relationship. When given the opportunity, ask pertinent questions, which will help demonstrate your sincere interest. If you don’t understand, ask for specifics. You could ask a clarifying question such as, “If I hear you correctly, you’re saying…Is that right?” It’s best to confirm your assumptions rather than risk a miscommunication.

6. Don’t interrupt or change the subject. Many assertive professionals finish others’ sentences out of habit. If you jump in and interrupt someone’s sentence, you prevent him or her from fully expressing his or her thoughts. Though your intentions may be good, the other person may perceive you to be a know-it-all or in a rush. Or worse, the person may think you are trying to put words in his or her mouth. Always permit the other person enough time to finish their thought before you respond. Your patience and thoughtfulness will be appreciated.

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/235615