We Learn Life Lessons From the People Who Come Into Our Lives (By Gary Wonning)

One of the hot topics in today's culture is bullying.

It can be a real issue for those, especially the young, who are affected by this. It can be a very traumatic experience for those who are victimized.

The only problem is, there are no victims in life, only participants. These so called bullies come into our lives for a reason. All we need to do is to discover the reason we are being taken advantage of, and take appropriate action to resolve the issue to our advantage and improve our lives in the process.

Sometimes the solution is a physical solution and we need to deal with it physically to teach the person a lesson he or she will remember for time immemorial.

But most often, it doesn't need to end this way.

On a more subconscious level, the bully is trying to teach us a lesson, once that is discovered, many times we can view that soul as someone who really made our life better by teaching us to become more self reliant, or guide us on a path of greater creativity.

If we go within, many times we will discover talents we never knew we had, sometimes these talents would never be discovered unless we are shunned by others and the only friend we have is ourself and God. Once we do some soul searching we discover many things about ourself we never knew existed.

We all have potential beyond our wildest dreams, but until we are forced to discover them, they go unnoticed. Only when an event outside ourselves creates an environment where we go must go within to find hidden strength, do we discover what we are really capable of accomplishing.

Suppose you have the ability to become a great actor of singer, but because you are shy you never even think you could become what you dream.

By suppressing your dream, you become even more shy by denying what your real character is, the more you talk yourself out of your dream, the more shy and unhappy you become until you are just downright miserable.

You would never get out of this vicious cycle if someone or something didn't come along and rock your boat.

Because, on some level of consciousness, we all create everything we experience, your subconscious mind, or higher self, (what many refer to as our Christ Consciousness) springs into action and begins the search for an answer to make you a better person and enable you to accomplish your life mission.

Here comes the bully, who has volunteered his time to help you. Sooner or later, his actions, or the actions of another soul if he should fail, will wake you to the reality of life, be it this lifetime or the next. It is your choice.

By his actions and yours, you are both evolving into a higher understanding of life.

Many believe the philosophy that we, each and everyone of us create our own reality, but when the going gets tough their belief falters just when it is imperative they stand strong for their beliefs.

This is the time one needs to do some serious contemplative thinking and look within and ask ourselves why we allowed this to happen to us.

When we do we will receive the answer and by owning up to the responsibility of creating our reality, we can overcome this obstacle and go on to lead the life we want and desire.

No one can do this for us, not our parents, family, the government or any one else, it is for us to do and for us alone.

It is only then that we can be proud of what we have overcome, and thank those who have aided us in our journey.

https://ezinearticles.com/?We-Learn-Life-Lessons-From-the-People-Who-Come-Into-Our-Lives&id=10047353

8 Reasons It's So Hard to Overcome a Tough Childhood

Understanding what prevents healing can be the first step toward recovery

Trauma experienced in childhood has a special ability to wound, especially when it includes emotional, physical or sexual abuse or neglect. The fallout echoes through the years and causes negative consequences, such as higher risks of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, obesity, behavioral problems, and health problems such as heart disease. One study that followed hundreds of adolescents over time found that 80% of individuals who had been abused as children met the criteria for at least one psychiatric disorder at age 21.

A troubled childhood can also lead a person to alcohol and drug use as a way to numb the pain or, conversely, to feel something. Studies estimate that up to two-thirds of patients in substance use treatment have childhood histories of sexual, emotional, or physical abuse. There is much to overcome with a troubled childhood, but help is available, and a thorough understanding of what hinders healing can aid the recovery process. 

Here are 8 primary reasons why freedom from childhood trauma is difficult:

1. The traumatized person may be slow to realize the source of their pain.
   Children have no frame of reference when traumatic experiences occur, so they come to see their reality as normal, especially if their caregivers are the source of their distress. Often, it is only much later—when exposed to healthier families or when raising children of their own—that they see how damaging their childhood was. Unfortunately, the longer a person waits to get help, the tougher it becomes to heal. (If you’ve experienced childhood trauma and wonder where you fall on the spectrum, a test provided as part of the Adverse Childhood Experiences study can provide insight as well as gauge your risk of developing related health problems.)
    
2. Co-occurring issues can mask the true problem.
   Those who use drugs or alcohol to deal with the pain of childhood trauma may become so focused on dealing with their addiction—what is essentially a symptom of the trauma—that they never discover its source. Unless that’s done, however, they are likely to keep cycling in and out of recovery. There’s another complication to trauma-based addiction: Fellow addicts sometimes provide the sense of family missing from a person’s life.
    
3. The damage may also be biological.
   Scientists now know that childhood trauma can alter brain structure and change how certain genes are expressed. In a 2012 Brown University study, childhood trauma such as abuse or the loss of a parent was found to alter the programming of genes that regulate stress, boosting the risk of developing issues such as anxiety and depression. Trauma-induced brain changes, according to a 2013 study, have been linked to a diminished ability to moderate negative impulses. Childhood trauma can also affect the brain’s neurotransmitters, boosting the reward felt when drugs or alcohol are used—and making dependence more likely. These new understandings highlight the difficulties of overcoming childhood trauma, but they are also leading the way to targeted therapies and medications.
    
4. Overcoming the past may mean remembering it.
   Some find the concept of revisiting the past too painful. Others may be willing but find it impossible to sort out the jumble of childhood impressions. Often all that remains is a floating sense of anxiety. Pain becomes tough to eliminate when its source cannot be pinpointed.
    
5. Closure can be elusive.
   Often times, getting those responsible for trauma to accept responsibility for their role in a painful past is impossible. They may no longer be alive by the time the traumatized person comes to understand the source of their distress or feel ready to address it. It can be tough to accept that an abuser will never be held accountable for his or her actions, or that there is no hope of ever developing a healthier relationship.
    
6. Answers may be sought in others rather than themselves.
   Often a person attempts to find in others what was missing from their life in an attempt to fix the past. Or they may become an approval-seeker who will go to any lengths to keep the peace or earn the love of others. Rather than valuing their own needs, they spend their energy trying to become worthy of others’ affection, often enduring further abuse in the process.
    
7. Emotions may be closed off.
   In some cases, caring becomes too dangerous for the child, so they numb themselves to feeling. This not only damages their ability to build healthy relationships, but it also complicates later attempts to access the emotions needed for healing.
    
8. It can be hard to silence the inner voices.
   Children buy into all the things they are told about themselves. If those things are negative—that they are worthless, lazy, stupid, ugly, a failure, or will never measure up to a sibling—it can leave them feeling both unworthy of a better life and powerless to change.

Source: Stefano Cavoretto/Shutterstock

While each of these scenarios  challenges healing, none precludes it. For many, treatment and therapy can dramatically improve quality of life—among them, techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy, which can change negative thought patterns, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a form of psychotherapy that can help a person retrieve, process and resolve past traumas.

Additional techniques and medications are on the horizon as research increases our understanding of trauma’s effects on the mind and body. We may one day, for example, be able to simply block bad memories associated with trauma, research suggests.

Also encouraging is that researchers and therapists are coming to understand that there is a small silver lining to negative experiences: They can sometimes boost resilience. Carrying an ugly burden from the past can weigh a person down, but it can also make them stronger.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/where-science-meets-the-steps/201505/8-reasons-its-so-hard-overcome-tough-childhood