Message From the Universe: Treasuring Your Life Today

"It's all so precious, and hopelessly romantic...

I mean, just look around you right now. In your office, your neighborhood, down the street. There are people, right? Friends or maybe complete strangers. 7 billion people in all.

And every single one of them have forks in the road of life, just up ahead, that even now swiftly approach. Adventures and choices that will take them, at least temporarily, out of sight, beyond reach, and eventually closer to "home." Yet until then, they're so incredibly near, you have so much in common, and there are still stories to tell.

Treasure every beautiful second.

Love, love - 

The Universe"

We have all experienced loss in our lives, such as a loss of a friend, or family member and even pets. The pain can be unbearable and sometimes last a while. They go live a better life where we are left behind mourning our loved ones. Prior to their moment of death, they are probably asking themselves a few questions, such as: "Did I fully live my life? Did I do everything I wanted to do? Did I spend enough time with my loved ones? Did I failed them? Should have I put more energy in spending time with them? How can I get back that lost time?". Their last moment on earth was about regrets not doing the things that were really important. Unfortunately, there is no turning back time as you can't really fix what was already done. If you feel something is odd with your life, it is OK to change the things you do not like. It is never too late.

Learn from the ones who feels regret for not living their live to the fullest. Everyone will tell you not to hold off to the things you want to do because you do not have enough of this or that or anything else. You want to take advantage of every single moment you have on earth so you do not feel any regret in the future. Avoid using the terms "would have or should have or whatever else" as they represent regrets. If you want to start your business, then go ahead. If you want to go back to school to enhance your education, go for it. If you want to get married tomorrow, well, make sure you know him or her very well first. Nevertheless, you need to just do what you feel will make you happy. Don't wait for that perfect moment, or the perfect timing or anything of that sort. These moments tend to never show up, so don't waste your life waiting on them. Life is too short for that.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Treasuring-Your-Life-Today&id=9763926

Is Regret a Proactive Feeling?

Regret is not a proactive feeling. It is situated in disappointment, sorrow, even remorse. However, repentance is different. When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. But sometimes disappointment makes you stronger. It becomes a motivation to write the next book. There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.

Disappointment is inevitable. But to become discouraged, there's a choice I make. Depression begins with disappointment. When disappointment festers in our soul, it leads to discouragement. No one else can go to the buffet line for you, you won't get what you want if you let anyone or anything else select the main course of your life.

Take the time. The answer is proactive living. It has been something that I believe many people hold within themselves and it hurts like hell. It's a double-edged sword. I had regrets, though. I had not taken care of myself. I had not been responsible for myself.

Preservation is very interesting. It is the best and worst. Setting the goal to change is one thing. I believe that paying the closest attention to the harmony of what our core is telling us to do is where the bedrock of success in anything is nurtured.

We can all be very powerful if we choose to be. Take the time and realize that the answer is proactive living. Right now this is the only life you have. Commit yourself to the process of finding and following your dreams, wants and desires.Make a list of all the moments in your life where you felt proactive.

Alternatively, if you felt proactive when you first used a computer, was it doing something new, achieving a goal or actually working with technology that made you feel proactive.Keep a journal for a week and notice when you are feeling the most proactive.

Look for the lessons on how to handle or overcome regret. What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about someone else? What patterns do you see? What are you noticing about your reactions and responses? All situations in life are rich with learning.

Rewinding time is not possible but "do-over's" actually are. Of course we cannot get a do-over of the exact same situation, but the universe will deliver to you similar situations where you can learn. The first time it happened you didn't know any better.

Take action. Is there support you need? Is there a conversation you need to have? Regret is a reactive response. Reactive responses keep you stuck; proactive responses move you forward. You want to move forward, don't you? So, forgive yourself! This is the most important and the most challenging part. We all make so-called mistakes. Remember, you are a human being so stop placing an expectation on yourself that you are supposed to get it right all of the time!

Remember that you did the best you could. Breathe. Take it in. You do not have to suffer from regret. You can stop beating yourself up; it is not serving you. Learn, take action, forgive and stop looking behind you. TURN AROUND. See what is right in front of you... and, better yet, what lies ahead.

This is about living without regrets no matter what our situation in life is.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Is-Regret-a-Proactive-Feeling?&id=9647148

The 2 Words You Have to Stop Using

Life can be hard, but this attitude only makes it harder.

Many people are vulnerable to the allure of “if only.” Some of us utter that expression and inhabit that attitude when things do not go the way we anticipated or expected. We tell ourselves that things would have been better "if only…"

We can create a really long list of things that, had they been different, we would have achieved our desired result.

The phrase “if only” is the spandex of rationalization. It can stretch as far as we need it to in order to accommodate the list of considerations we want to include.

The danger of “if only” is that it may breed too much regret or function to deflect or displace responsibility. At times, the “if only” may attach to a person’s actions in her own past. It can also attach to the actions of another. And finally, it may attach to factors and considerations that are largely beyond our control. An “if only” may be accompanied with regret or resignation, or it may be conjoined with defiance and accusation.

Some cases will help to demonstrate the dynamics of “if only.” Consider a person whose career aspiration is to become a Certified Public Accountant (CPA). She takes all the necessary courses in college and works in the office of a CPA. She studies for the series of exams every CPA must pass. But, she also has a husband and child. Her present income isn’t enough for daycare, so she and her husband decide it would make more financial sense for her to stay home, at least for now. That “at least for now” lasts 15 years.

She may tell herself, “I would be a CPA if only I hadn’t made that decision to stay home.”

In this case, the “if only” attaches to one decision that gets lived for 15 years. It is a pivotal one that becomes the repository for her regret.  While she may have loved her time as a full-time mother, she also mourns the loss of a career goal. And the further removed that dream is from her reality, the greater her regret may become.

This case also provides an instance of an “if only” attaching to considerations that are far beyond a person's control. She may believe, “If only daycare expenses hadn’t been so great that they outstripped my income," or, "If only my husband earned more, I would have stayed at my job and passed my exams because that would have made the best financial sense.” The reality is that daycare expenses are often well beyond the reach of many people and few employers offer onsite or affordable options. If only the economy was not organized in a way that forced some people out of the paid work force.

“If only” can also be hurled at others in the hopes of deflecting responsibility. An active alcoholic might say to his partner, “If only you weren’t so emotionally needy that you put everything on me. Drinking is the only way to get away from you and your neediness. If only you’d get more of a life, I wouldn’t drink.”  

The accusatory form of “if only” is also common in relationships of abuse. An abuser claims—and may genuinely believe—that he would not have hit his partner, “if only she had kept her mouth shut and kept the kids quiet, too. She just kept pushing and I finally snapped.”

Making the “if only” accusation is one of the quickest ways to offload responsibility for one’s own decisions and actions. A person might tell herself that he or she really isn’t the author of those actions because another person made him drink, or made her lash out, etc. Or the rationalization may be, “I wasn’t really myself because I was overwhelmed by resentment or anger. The resentment and anger made me drink or hit. But that’s not really who I am.”

This person will be unwilling to take responsibility for his actions.

There is a positive role of “if only,” in some cases. An “if only” may alert us to something we have lost or compromised, which in turn may prompt us to experience some regret. Regret in life is inevitable and, in some cases, healthy. If we’ve gone down one path and regret it, that may cause us to choose differently in the future. Regret may prompt us to do certain things differently when given the opportunity. Regret is always backward-looking, but can have profound effect on the present and future if we learn from it. The woman who wanted to be a CPA may even decide that she will go after that goal now.

The challenge is to keep “if only” thinking in proper perspective and scope. An “if only” world is what philosophers would call a “counter-factual" one. That is to say, an imaginary or possible world that differs from the actual world, in which things are different from how they truly are in fact. 

A person who lives too much in the world of “if only” faces a significant risk. Taken to great lengths, an attitude of “if only” keeps a person from living his or her actual life and instead ties him or her more to a future possible life that may never be. 

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/philosophy-stirred-not-shaken/201502/the-2-words-you-have-stop-using