Helper's High: The Benefits (and Risks) of Altruism

Good deeds can relieve stress and help you live longer

Altruism is most commonly thought of as a selfless act that benefits the recipient. However, the science behind good deeds suggests that altruism isn't entirely selfless. In fact, some research suggests that helpers may gain more from their altruistic acts than recipients.
Although there certainly can be downsides to being an active and passionate helper (i.e., increased stress, risk of burnout, frustration), there is a growing body of research that suggests that the upsides of altruism may outweigh the negatives (particularly if helpers go into it being mindful of the risks and taking steps to protect themselves from compassion fatigue).
Here are just a few of the ways that altruism can improve your attitude and make you healthier, happier, and less stressed:

• Releases endorphins - the positive energy that you feel from doing a good deed can act on your body in much the same way that exercise does, releasing endorphins that make you feel good naturally. That's why the "rush" that good deed-doers sometimes experience after performing an altruistic act is referred to as the "helper's high."
• Feeling of satisfaction - just because you're being altruistic doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't feel good about it. You're making a difference in someone else's life and that should make you feel good. There is no reason to try to suppress that feeling or feel guilty about it. Think of it as a perk.
• Helps you feel more grateful for what you have - it's not unusual for people to experience a "grass is greener" feeling from time to time. However, because good deeds are often done for those who are going through a difficult time, the experience can serve to remind helpers that their own lives are actually pretty good. Sometimes, actually seeing what is on "the other side of the fence" can make you feel thankful for what you have.
• Distracts you from your own problems - focusing on someone else can actually pull you away from your own self-preoccupation and your own problems. In fact, studies have found that when people with medical conditions (e.g., cancer, chronic pain) "counsel" other patients with those same conditions, the "counselors" often experience less depression, distress, and disability.
• Improves physical health - research has discovered that helping others can not only improve your mental health, it also can improve your physical well-being. Studies have found that volunteers tend to live longer and often have better physical health than non-volunteers. (Of course, there are other variables associated with good deed-doers that may at least partially account for these findings. More research is being done to try to better understand all of the factors that may play a role.)

However, there is a caveat to all of this. Not everyone benefits from altruism. For example, for those who are already feeling overwhelmed by having too many things on their plate, adding more—even if the intentions are positive—is not likely to end well. This is particularly true for those individuals who have problems with time management.
Also, for those who tend to help the disadvantaged, it sometimes is that case that the sadness of the situations they get involved in has more of a negative than a positive impact on the helper. Some of this has to do with individual personalities, but a good rule of thumb for everyone is everything in moderation. Do what you can to help others, but be careful that you don't take on so much that it turns out that you become the one who needs help in the end.
Burnout among volunteers and those who work in helping professions is common. However, as mentioned at the beginning of this article, the risk can be lessened by being aware of the symptoms associated with burnout and compassion fatigue and by taking steps to take care of your own mental and physical health before trying to take care of others

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/high-octane-women/201409/helpers-high-the-benefits-and-risks-altruism
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Why Caring for Yourself Makes All the Difference.

 Like the song says, it is the greatest love of all


If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion—Dalai Lama

The 2,500-year-old Buddhist tradition contains some fundamental truths about human nature that Western science is slowly beginning to embrace. One is that humans, like all members of the animal kingdom, are inherently social beings. Our brains are wired for love, connection, and cooperation. But the individualism, social isolation, and competition of modern society have led to imbalance within ourselves, in our relationships, and with nature. We see the results in current epidemics of anxiety, loneliness, pain, and obesity. Yet if we lack connection in the external world, we still have the ability to create it in our internal worlds through compassionate practices, and thereby reap some physical and psychological benefits.

What is Self-Compassion?
Dr. Kristin Neff, a researcher at the University of Texas at Austin, is the pioneer of self-compassion as a tool to promote psychological healing, well-being, and better relationships. She contrasts self-compassion with self-esteem in that it does not require us to elevate ourselves above other people and compete with them. While high self-esteem is generally based on evidence of superior achievement, self-compassion is a more constant personal quality, in which we value ourselves and treat ourselves kindly just because we are human. And this caring attitude to ourselves helps us to recognize our similarity and connection with other humans, who share with us common aspirations and sources of suffering.
Does Self-Compassion Turn Us Into Wimps?
Self-compassion does not make us spoiled or weak, but rather is a learned coping strategy that research shows can decrease anxiety and enhance resilience and recovery from the effects of stress. It also does not require us to deny and suppress negative aspects of our experience. In fact, part of Neff's definition of self-compassion is mindfulness—or a balanced holding in consciousness of all facets of our experience, without overreacting to them. The essence of self-compassion is to acknowledge our own emotional suffering and then deliberately comfort ourselves by generating feelings of warmth, softness, and care toward ourselves and, by association, all living beings who are suffering.
How Do Children Develop Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned, and improved through learning. Children learn by watching how caretakers, especially parents, react to them. If children get punished for expressing anger or sadness, they learn that it is bad or even dangerous to feel these states. If their sharing about life's disappointments and rejections results in stern criticism and expressions of contempt, they become contemptuous and critical of themselves. Therein lie some of the roots of human misery. The normal social and academic challenges presented by school and peers become compounded by social learning. Children with critical, neglectful, or rejecting parents now learn a layer of negative labels to put on themselves when they are less than perfectly accepted and successful.  On the other hand, those lucky ones who have caring, attentive parents learn, via the experience of being warmly comforted and cared for, how to take care of themselves when they are sad or have been let down by life. Research shows that securely attached children are more self-compassionate than children with anxious or disorganized attachment styles. Cultural factors also play a role. If the culture emphasizes fear of punishment as the basis of learning, levels of self-compassion will be lower overall.
What are the Benefits of Self-Compassion?
Research by Neff and colleagues shows that self-compassion decreases anxiety in evaluative situations, such as being asked about one's weaknesses in a job interview. Self-compassion is also associated with higher and more consistent levels of well-being than self-esteem. When self-evaluations are not dependent on constant proof of achievement, we feel more relaxed and better about our lives. Self-compassion is also associated with more curiosity and exploration. When we don't beat ourselves up for failure, we are freer to try new things and make mistakes as part of the normal pattern of learning and growth. More self-compassionate people are also more willing to take responsibility for their contribution to situations that don't turn out as planned. When making a mistake is not the end of the world, we are freer to confront our mistakes, learn new skills, and make amends, rather than hide away in shame.
Can Self-Compassion Make Me Healthier?
A 2007 study by Neff and colleagues suggests that self-compassion may be an important tool in weight-management and in overcoming emotional eating. Students were given donuts to eat, but half were assigned at random to hear a compassionate comment from the experimenter, such as, "Don't beat yourself up about eating these; subjects eat them all the time." The other half received the donuts without the comment. Later that day, when given the chance to eat candy, those who heard the compassionate comment ate less. Therefore, self-compassion may help to prevent emotional eating resulting from feeling bad about breaking dietary restriction rules. Future research is needed to look at whether these benefits are also found in clinical populations such as obese people or those with eating disorders.
In summary, self-compassion appears to have many benefits. When we treat ourselves kindly, we learn to soften and open ourselves to all kinds of experiences, including our own emotions. We may also become more accepting of others when we focus on our common humanity.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201202/why-caring-yourself-makes-all-the-difference