Afraid to Say NO? Learn How This Is Impacting Your Business (By Chris Atley)

I have been enjoying a stay-cation this week! We had to switch gears from driving up the coast for a few days to staying home for Jude's All-star schedule - which is daily! I decided to focus on extra self-care, doing some fun things with the kids, and also some renovation projects! It's feels GREAT to tackle tolerations and free up energy!

Today we are headed to Mexico to help build a house for an underserved family in need. They literally have nothing, and we raised enough funds to build the house AND fully furnish it! I just know this is going to be an amazing experience for our family - getting out of our Solana Beach bubble will be huge - and I look forward to sharing this with you next week.

So what is behind this tiny little word? Well, most of us are people pleasers at heart. We don't want to offend anyone or hurt their feelings. This can be traced back to a deeper fear of not wanting to be alone - of not wanting to be "shunned" from the group. Essentially being unloved.

Who the heck wants that?!

We all have a deep desire to connect and be loved at a core level. We want to be accepted into the group, and so we don't always say how we feel and definitely avoid saying no.

So what ends up happening?

Well, we end up saying yes to whole sh*t ton of things we don't really want to be doing. We then get resentful and overwhelmed with everything we have going on.

In a weird way it almost proves we're unlovable - we're too busy and stressed to give anyone our best.

So how does this show-up in your business?

Well, if you don't like saying no and have a hard time with it, how are you going to accept it from someone else? It makes you feel terrible to say no, and you therefore don't want to feel the same when someone else tells you no.

If you can't say no then you won't make sales calls because you're afraid to hear no.

I had to dig out some really deep stuff around being told no in sales conversations. It related back to feeling abandoned after my Mom and Dad divorced when I was 4 -years old!! Nuts right?! But this stuff feels real. It leaves a mark, and as kids we're making some pretty important decisions about ourselves that are accepted into our minds unconsciously. The issue as adults is that our subconscious mind is the underlying operating system for all of the decisions we make. So if I decided when I was little that I was unlovable because people leave me, what kind of decisions do you think I'm making in life from that lens? Not great right?

The good news is that most of us also have a lot of empowered beliefs in there too. The heavy stuff doesn't tend to come to the surface and present itself as a potential block until we are really putting ourselves out there - like, ahem, running a business...

Not being able to say no shows-up in all levels of business. I just noticed this the other day with a woman who has achieved great success in her business. She is having trouble with sales - in terms of making sales and training a team. It came as no surprise that she has a hard time saying no to people. She is afraid of it, and it's therefore showing-up in her business too.

The subconscious can be sneaky - take a hard look at what you are feeling around saying no in both your personal and business life. All areas are connected, and where there's trouble in one area you can guarantee there's trouble with it in another area.

Here are some tips on saying no with grace and ease:

1. Create a sentence where you are clearly saying no thank-you. Use language that is clear and respectful.

2. Keep in mind most people are just looking for an answer from you and you don't need to justify why you're saying no. That is usually ourselves feeling like the need to justify it. We're again people pleasing and trying to avoid hurt feelings and being shunned form he group deep down.

3. Say your sentence and then pause. Count to 10 in your head if you need to. Allow the other person the space to respond. Again, most people are usually looking for an answer.

4. Get clear on your values and priorities, i.e. family, fun, finances, spirituality, etc. It will make saying no much easier to tasks that aren't in alignment with your values. For example, if family is one of you top values and you haven't spent a lot of time as a family lately, it's much easier to say no to one more birthday party invite.

5. Let others say no to you! Be the person you want others to be. Respect their decision. This applies again to both personal and business. In sales, your job in a sales conversation is to help people get to a "yes" or "no" decision. If they are in a lot of fear you can help them through that, but ultimately if they're telling you no you must listen. It's never a great fit with a client if you've talked them into your service anyway. It means you want it more for them they do (or see value in), and be prepared to let them go. This is a tough one to learn. It's helpful to know that you will always be shown more people to help by the universe.

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The Keys To Life Transformation: How To Go From Down And Out To A Wealthy Person

PART I 1st KEY: THOUGHT PATTERN TRANSFORMATION?

To attract wealth, one must first think they are worthy of wealth otherwise they can block their own path with thoughts of inadequacy and fear. It is not enough to desire wealth, but one must feel that they deserve it. That is one of the keys to obtaining wealth. People who have been conditioned to believe their race, economic status, environment or religion precludes them from having the ability to wealth, have a hard time attaining wealthy status. Years of conditioning from discrimination practices can take its toll. In many cases people who have been financially disadvantaged were limited in educational, employment and lifestyle opportunities because of the lack of exposure to things that wealth affords. Fortunately, there are those who overcame the adverse conditions by sheer will and determinism. This feeling of inferiority, when deeply ingrained, can be overcome through methods of counter mind conditioning exercises which settle into the consciousness and ultimately into the subconscious minds.

MONEY HAS AN ENERGY FIELD:

Money has its own energy field and to attract it, one must be in harmony with its subtle energies. Just like love attracts love and fear attracts fear, money attracts money both in the ethereal and on physical levels. So if, deep down inside you don't feel worthy or really believe you can have it, you will not attract it. If you do feel worthy but to a low degree, you may find your experiences with money flighty and inconsequential. You may get it but cannot seem to keep the prosperity channel open.

To establish a more solid connection to your mental state of worthiness and ability to attract wealth into your life, one good way to start is through affirmations and or supraliminal mind conditioning exercises. From a religious point of view, there are specific biblical scriptures, ancient spiritual writings, prayers, psalms and affirmations that lend themselves to positive mental transformation and when spoken daily, can work very well. Supraliminal mind conditioning exercises are another solution. It is the process of removing negative thought patterns and replacing them with good ones that will help reach desired goals. For every negative thought that is removed there must be a counter thought to replace it.

PART II 2nd KEY: FEEDING THE CREATIVE STRATUM: The Art Of Imagination

1. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. ~Genesis 1: 1, 2

Before Anything Was In Existence There Was An Idea. Imagination involves the use of the mind to create images of desired physical manifestation. The part it plays in the creative process is important because it actually forces a thought form from an idea to actual real substance. There are many metaphorical references to this in stories i.e. Aladdin's Lamp, Biblical Manna, Peter Pan, the Wizard of Oz and more. It's all about imagining and channeling the imagination.

How can one channel the imagination? It can be done by working on bringing the imagined thought into manifestation. Imagine, think and then find a way to bring it into eye contact by use of pictures that illustrate the idea. If you want a luxury car, go to the car dealership and drive one, to get the feel of it and to have a real experience with it. If you want a new house, go and take house tours and take pictures of the homes, to identify your dream home. It's all about bridging the gap between your ideas and the real world. Through the use of the imagination you can transform your world into your dreams. I've done it before and certainly you can do it too. By use of the method of imagination I was able to obtain a car, digital piano, house and a wonderful income.

"To bring anything into your life; imagine that it's already there." ~Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever: A True Love Story

PART III 3rd KEY: OPENING THE DOOR: Giving Birth To Your Ideas.

Many times in life we are given opportunities for wealth but we don't recognize them. Sometimes these opportunities don't look appetizing and we don't think they fit into the scheme of our life and therefore discard them. Those opportunities that come clothed in pretty colors, appealing stature and entertaining modes are more easily accepted but unfortunately, they are not always the best options. Opportunities for wealth often approach us but it's up to us to open the door. We open the door... by using the key. What is the key... GRATITUDE!

Our Dreams, Our Thoughts, and our Desires, are like little magnets that pull life experiences and opportunities toward us. The stronger the desire the faster the opportunity appears before us and the better the fit to our ideal wishes. Once the opportunity appears, then we must open the door by embracing it with appreciation and gratitude. The more gratitude we have, the better the outcome of the Opportunity.

Most people don't really understand the power of Gratitude. They think gratitude is simply giving thanks and it is, yet so much more. Gratitude brings Action. Loving Action! The attitude of Gratitude keeps us humble and in the mode of giving and receiving which is called "The Law of Reciprocity. The "Law of Reciprocity" is a mutual "give and take" force that we must respect in order for wealth to be given in full measure. This law is spoken of in the Bible and other Spiritual teachings many times,

"Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:38

"Do not be deceived; God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap." Galatians 6:7

While these scriptures are considered a part of spiritual teachings in Christianity, make no mistake, it does refer to a Law that operates in everyone's lives, regardless of religion, creed or color. It is when this Law is not respected in our lives that chaos begins.

When we are not grateful for what we receive and do not return in kind in some way or fashion, our soil or mind becomes fallow ground the seeds we plant there eventually shrivel up and do not yield. The channel of prosperity can and will constrict where there is no giving or benevolent spirit toward mankind. This benevolent spirit can take the form of service, monetary donations, loving kindness, wisdom, knowledge and more.

Examples of these actions are such as, giving money to a cause you care about, volunteering at a non-profit event, mowing someone's yard, taking food to a senior citizen, giving a friend a ride home, or donating things to Good Will etc. One Sunday, we were having dinner and pleasant conversation when a person in our midst admitted that he was jobless with no money to eat his next meal. As a result of this conversation, this jobless man received a job application from a friend who submitted it at the job. The man got a job and the person who submitted the application for that jobless man, got a promotion!

That is an example of the law of reciprocity and there is no doubt that gratitude surrounds us with the energy of love, kindness, caring, understanding, patience, and giving. In this way, it is not only the path to wealth, but also to good health and a happy life overall.

Gratitude is Powerful and the key to not only opening doors of wealth, but bringing forth opportunities to provide your needs and desires with the clothing of substance. If you want wealth in your life, become more thankful and show it in the forms we discussed above. Pay your bills with joy, not resentment, to see them paid off more quickly. If you want a new house, clean up and make beautiful the space you live in and you will be given a better one. If you want a better job, find some way to enjoy the present one and doing good things where you are and a new one will be given (maybe even a new promotion). If you don't have a job, give some time volunteering at a non-profit activity, a new job will pop up. You'd be surprised at what Gratitude can do to propel and bring to life your dreams! Make it happen! Be Grateful!

Wealth is achievable! It's not rocket science but it is the science of life! Once you have the keys to attracting wealth you can do it over and over again just like other wealthy figures in our spiritual teachings ie Solomon, Moses, Jacob and more. Learn their secrets and watch your life transform before your very eyes. Read this article to find out how to bring financial wealth, good health and joy into your realm. Turn the tide today and you'll never look back.

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