Who Looks After You?

Are you one of those people who everyone turns to in a crisis? You're calm, confident, together and never seem to flap under pressure. People trust that when they turn to you for answers you'll be there for them, ready to help, able to find solutions to problems, all the while providing reassurance and comfort.

But what about you? Who looks after you on your tough days and gives you the comfort and support you sometimes need?

- Would people be incredulous to discover that you sometimes have down days? Perhaps you come across as someone who never needs anything, as a person who doesn't have 'off' days. Do you always remain calm under pressure, stay even-tempered when things go wrong or don't go to plan, able to quietly assess what needs to happen next? There are no histrionics, just a measured assessment of what's going on and what needs to happen to put things right again. So, people understandably assume that you're fine, relaxed and coping well.

- Might it be that you're a very private person and prefer for people not to see a vulnerable side to your personality, fearing that you could appear weak or unable to cope? In reality, many people are fine, even happy to see an occasional vulnerability in someone they respect. It humanises them and gives others an opportunity to reciprocate and be helpful in return.

- Ask yourself if you present an, 'I'm tough, I'm coping, leave me alone', almost aggressive front at times of crisis. If you become angry, hostile or belligerent when things go wrong, pushing potential help away, others may quickly learn to leave you to sort things out alone. It's important to be gracious and respectful when people offer help. Be polite and acknowledge their efforts with a 'thank you', even if you choose to decline.

- Remember, though, that doing everything yourself is not always the most efficient way to function. There are bound to be areas where you could delegate tasks that others are better equipped to do, so enabling your time to be used more effectively. Also, letting others share the load helps them feel valued, develop their confidence and skills whilst potentially allowing you to focus elsewhere and maybe even have time off for fun and recharging your batteries.

- In a business scenario there are many ways that you could let others look after you. Delegating mundane tasks frees your time to be used more productively, as does letting others with greater expertise take care of the more specialised tasks like accounts, web design, PR and advertising. Doing this maximises opportunities for the best outcomes. Even hiring domestic help with cleaning, gardening, ironing is often money well spent, ensuring that your home is well looked after, feels good and leaves you with time and space to comfortably relax.

- Learn to let others know that you appreciate their looking after you. Acknowledge the kindnesses; the bath run for you after a tough day at work, the drink made for you without being asked, the meal ready for you, the car washed or filled with petrol. Your being appreciative encourages others to look after you. It shows that you value their thoughtfulness and attention. Changing your approach may take a little time to filter through, but it's worth it and can gradually introduce a more balanced dynamic to the relationship.

- But, ultimately looking after you has to start with you. Many of us learn in childhood to expect others to automatically take care of us, look after our health, education, give us guidance and provide structure to our lives. As we get older we need to recognise the importance of monitoring our own wellbeing, take responsibility for our exercise, nutrition, hydration levels, and healthy sleep patterns. Our mental and emotional wellbeing is also important, where we learn to regularly schedule breaks, manage stress and support our commitment to positive relationships.

When you demonstrate that you're worth caring for and expect to be treated well, people will respond to your level of confidence. Being appropriately assertive, positive about yourself and your efforts, okay about saying 'no' sometimes, others will be influenced by your lead. You'll find that they'll then automatically invest more in the relationship and be happy to look after you, as they appreciate you more and more.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Who-Looks-After-You?&id=10404134

Be The Eye Of The Storm

To be the eye of the storm and remain calm during times of conflict, stress, or worry is not an easy task to perform but it is something that anyone can learn with a little discipline. As you have heard it before, life is ten percent of what happens to you and ninety percent on how you respond to it.

So, how do you come down and keep your cool? What can you do when life throws curve balls at you? In what way can you deal with stressful situations or people?

The eye of the storm is usually a period during a storm when things stay calm. However, this does not mean that it is over. Things may just get worse. No matter of what is happening around you and in your life, it is all relative to the way you perceive things and how you handle them.

You surely know that you are never at your best when you are stressed. As a matter of fact, your brain has evolved over hundreds of years to automatically release cortisol in any stressful circumstances, hindering rational and logical thinking.

It is created in such a way to potentially help you survive, say, in case of any danger you may encounter. When you are stressed, cortisol which is toxic is released, while in turn, stress raises your heart rate, modulates adrenaline levels and even clouds your thinking.

Therefore, it is not the best thing for our bodies or mental states to experience. So, to remain the eye of the storm in most stressful situations, there are a few ways you can learn to avoid making critical mistakes. When your thoughts become clouded, the idea is to think ahead to what those fiascos might be.

How Can You Begin Being the Eye of the Storm

Just like any ocean, sea, river, body of water or thunderstorm in this world, the surface is always susceptible to change. But if you go further in, such as in the deeper waters or the center, you can find calmness and the power you need to turn into the eye of the storm.

You need to learn the skill of separating what you perceive or feel in a situation from its reality. You have to understand that the things that happen around you are not meant to be directed only to you and do not matter nearly as much as you think they are.

Some people struggle their entire life and seem like they have nothing, yet they have so much love in their hearts and so much compassion that they want to give to the world. On the other hand, some individuals have everything, yet they are full of bitterness, sadness, and hate.

To begin being calm and become the eye of the storm, you have to realize and see that your feelings, emotions, opinions, thoughts, and perception are often completely independent of anything going on in the world around you.

Staying Calm in the Midst of the Storm

Most of us take things personally by believing that situations or others are intentionally provoking us. We have difficulties with peers, financial misfortunes, and get other frustrations that seem to drag us out of our zones of comfort. When it happens to us, it pushes us into a negative state of being we do not want to be in.

So, even when you are the eye of the storm, there will always be something, or someone, to annoy, bother, infuriate, upset, or burden you. The important thing here is that you have to stay calm in the midst of the storm. As you do, you feel a peace and harmony that exceeds all understanding.

Real peace is when you do not allow misfortune, trouble, struggle, conflict, and challenges all around you on the outside to get on the inside. So, do not let the storm overcome you. Rather, be the eye of the storm, which is a place of serenity and tranquility that you can go to in periods of stress.

Accessing the Eye of the Storm

You have to consider that you are conscious and aware. You are not the elements of what your perception or consciousness creates because those are your experiences. It is not you. Therefore, when it is time to cut off from the turmoil around you, you have to access the eye of the storm.

However, you need to be the eye of the storm at any moment, even when you have to take immediate action based on what is going on. Let me remind you that being the eye of the storm does not mean you are detached and disengaged but rather the exact opposite.

You and only you can access the focus, drive, intuition, gut instinct, inner guidance and lucidity to do exactly what needs to be done. But then, are there systems or things that you can learn and use that would prevent bad things from happening or could have the likelihood of minimizing catastrophes?

Connecting with the Eye of the Storm

You should remember that you are always in control of your internal world, no matter how helpless you feel in the face of the world around you. How? Well, simply because of your imagination. It is a system and place you can continuously go to form the reality you want and improve your experience.

Your imagination transforms your mental experience in real-time. It also sends out your intentions which are like planting seeds for what you desire to manifest in your physical experience. The more you connect with the eye of the storm by remaining calm and focus on the life you want to be living; the more doors will open for you in your physical reality. As you probably know, it is called the Law of Attraction.

At the current moment, your physical reality might feel like you are confined in a dungeon. However, there is an endless number of places you could imagine going. So, begin to access this high power!

Tips to Be the Eye of the Storm

You should look ahead and look at all the things that could go wrong, and then try to figure out what you can do to prevent those things from happening or to minimize the damage. There are obvious things you can do, while there are some which are not so obvious.

• When feeling stressed, imagine a place of peace such as the summit of a mountain, a boat on the ocean, a beach on an island, or an audience who is enjoying your performance.
• Get control of your self-talk because thoughts become things.
• Overwrite negative thoughts with positive ones if you want to be the eye of the storm.
• Use positive statements and repeat them over and over. Saying them out loud is more powerful.
• Practice box breathing. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4 and then hold again for 4. Do this a few times to cool down.
• In your house, designate a place for quiet moments you can go to if you need it anytime. Around your home, select a spot to put things that are consistently lost and be scrupulous about it. So that when you look for your car keys or your passport, it will always be there when you look for them.
• Take pictures of your travel documents, credit card, passport, and more and email it to yourself so that if things are lost or stolen, you can facilitate their replacement.

So now, realize that you can override anything you want. You do not have to argue about a matter that arises or let circumstances or anyone affect your emotions anymore. Remember that you can make a choice to debate, discuss, contest, get hurt, or be the eye of the storm by overlooking, forgiving, letting go, leaving, or changing what is occurring in your life. It is all up to you!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Be-The-Eye-Of-The-Storm&id=9796269

Managing Stress to Perform at Your Best

I recently read an article by Dr. Travis Bradberry called "How Successful People Stay Calm." In it he says that your "ability to manage your emotions and to remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance." The vast majority of successful people have developed the skill to keep calm and carry on, as the British wrote in a motivational poster during World War II.

He pointed out that moderate levels of stress keep the brain engaged and keep us performing at optimal levels whereas prolonged, high levels of stress can be detrimental, increasing the risk of heart disease, depression and obesity. We can't control some stressors in our lives, but we can control how we react to them.

When traffic is unusually bad on your morning commute or when a patient is being extremely difficult, you can choose to become upset or you can choose to empathize with the other commuters or the patient and release your stress.

He listed a number of ways to reduce stress. One is to focus for a few minutes on your breathing while blocking other thoughts. Another is getting sufficient sleep each night to allow your brain not only to process the previous day's thoughts but also to allow it to recharge for the day ahead. Yet another is to limit caffeine intake since it triggers the release of adrenaline, which is the source of the "fight or flight" response.

You can fight stress by noting on a regular basis those things for which you are grateful. You can fight it by cutting out your negative self talk. When negative self-talk creeps in, you have to check to see if it is valid. If it isn't valid, forget it. If it is valid and is something you can change, change it. Don't dwell on the "what ifs." Instead, look for the positives.

I think we focus on problems because those are things that need our attention. If you write down a list of the things that are going well, things you are grateful for as well as a list of your worries, you'll likely see that your list of good things will be longer than your worries. It's calming to remind yourself of all of the things that are going your way.

You can also reduce stress by gorging on junk food and chocolate. Oh, wait, that wasn't in the article; forget that.

For the complete article and to read more about Dr. Bradberry, look for the Early to Rise website and search for "How Successful People Stay Calm."

https://ezinearticles.com/?Managing-Stress-to-Perform-at-Your-Best&id=9525306

How to Stand Up for Yourself

We are faced with tough choices every single day. Sometimes, the hardest choice is to speak up and stand up for what is right. We all know that we shouldn't let people walk all over us, but how do we actually keep that from happening?

Maybe you weren't raised to speak up. Maybe you are too timid, or nice. Whatever the reason is, it doesn't matter. The following 10 steps will help you say what you need to say AND help others understand where you are coming from with minimum conflict.

Pick your battles wisely

You must choose the situations that negatively impact you the most. If you try these steps EVERY single time you have a problem, you may not be as effective. So, strategically pick your battles. Maybe choose ONE instance per person that is over the top wrong or offensive. How do you pick that ONE instance?

Listen to that little voice inside your head

Your intuition tells you whether a situation is right or wrong. Many times we don't act on it because we want to avoid conflict or confrontation. We will convince ourselves that it's not that serious or we doubt our judgment. If the voice inside your head is so loud, that it's affecting your well-being... THAT's your queue to do something about it.

Don't second guess yourself

It is very scary THINKING about saying something to correct the situation, which makes it almost impossible to work up the courage to SAY something. To avoid the discomfort, we tell ourselves that we are overreacting or flat out think we're not worthy enough to put someone in their place.

I mean who are you anyway? You don't hold the position of power, you aren't the bread winner, you aren't as old, you aren't as smart, your opinion doesn't matter...

WRONG. Your social status has no bearing on your needs as a human being. Your opinion matters and your feelings matter.

What. You. Want. Matters.

Why should anyone else's feelings be more important than your own? They are just as much of a person as you. Everyone has different needs and values in life. It is your responsibility to make it clear what you are not willing to tolerate.

If you can't muster the confidence to stand up for yourself, you really have no right to be upset. Like I said, other people have different values and priorities. They aren't mind readers. You have to SAY something in order to be heard and understood.

Look them in the eye

When the time comes to stand up for yourself, you MUST make eye contact. It is THE MOST important thing when you are dealing with confrontation or conflict. Eye contact will show the other person that you have confidence. It will make it clear that what you are saying is important and force the other person to listen to you.

You may find that they will look away, because they too don't like confrontation. If that is the case, you have the upper hand in the conversation. Own it.

Use your big boy/girl voice

I am NOT telling you to yell. I am saying, project your voice loud enough that the person can hear what you are saying. Do not mumble. Be clear and concise. Your voice should captivate your audience because what you're saying is important for them to hear.

Keep emotion out of it (stick with the facts)

In order to keep the conversation from going south, you MUST state factual information only. Avoid using emotion behind what you are saying.

Crying distracts from the message. Yelling distracts from the message. Condescending remarks distract from the message. Sarcasm distracts from the message... you get the picture.

All of the above EMOTIONAL responses cause people to put their guard up or not take you seriously. They will focus on defense more than the message itself. The whole point of you speaking up is to be HEARD. So try your best to remain calm and speak clearly and concisely with the FACTS.

Keep it simple

Try to dumb down your message as much as possible. The more words you use, the more complicated things get. It also increases the chances of the conversation to crash and burn. Try to make it one sentence.

WHEN YOU DID THIS, IT CAUSED THIS/IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE THIS. Simple.

Stand your ground

The person you are confronting may get defensive. They may try to intimidate you. You MUST remember that what you are saying is IMPORTANT. Do not allow them to sway your opinion on the matter. The fact is that when they did something, it had a negative effect on you. They need to be aware of that, no matter the reasons behind it.

Remain confident

Don't second guess yourself. No matter how mean or belittling they get. They may try to outsmart you. Keep that eye contact and stand tall. YOU MATTER! YOU ARE STRONG! Let them get all bent out of shape. The purpose of you bringing it up was so that it doesn't happen again.

It doesn't matter if they get mad or embarrassed. You said what you needed to say. You remained calm, confident and mature. People don't know how to deal with conflict so they react in weird ways. You did your part by bringing up the problem. Next time they will think twice about doing it again. With that, you win.

Move on/Don't hold a grudge

I told you, people aren't mind readers. When you addressed the issue, it could have caused a rift in your relationship because they never heard that side of you before and they don't know how to act around you anymore... and that's okay! It means that you CHANGED your situation. You stood up for yourself.

I guarantee you, people will have a lot more respect for you... including the person you had the issue with.

When you stand up for yourself, you are fostering an environment for others to stand up as well. You will pave the way and potentially better the surroundings for everyone.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Stand-Up-for-Yourself&id=9427783