When You Heal Yourself First, The Rest Will Fall Into Place

Nothing Is An Accident But Results From Our Thinking

How would you describe your relationship with yourself? Is it a kind, compassionate and nurturing one or does it encompass a critical voice? It is important we understand the way we treat ourselves because it impacts how we relate to others. I realise many people have been hurt, whether it be through childhood wounds or intimate relationships. We have all experienced pain and suffering at some point. However, this shouldn't mean we carry our emotional wounds around and unload them on others. Whilst we may not have consented to the experience that caused us pain, it is incumbent on us to heal the wounds and find our way back to wholeness.

Life is not fair at the best of times, yet if we buy into this narrative, we are bound to lose hope. It is better we see life as a process where good things happen and sometimes unfortunate things happen. I'm not convinced life is out to get us. However, in my early 20s I was certain it was, since unpleasant experiences seemed like I was being punished. It wasn't until my early 30s I realised it was my thoughts that regulated how I interacted with life. That is to say, the wisdom of the years has taught me that life is impartial and my thinking determines my outlook. I am the tuning fork and life echoes back the experience of my thoughts. Ever since then, I have become attentive to my surroundings and inner world. For example, if I'm ruminating on something negative, I will see evidence of this in my waking life, such as repeated TV commercials about what I am focusing on. I am attentive to it and snap out of it quickly. Have you noticed this in your life? Do you observe your surroundings and pay attention to your inner world such as your dreams?

The point I wish to make is that healing is an inside out job. It begins by nurturing our thoughts with what we want to show up in our life. What we believe at a deeper level becomes our destiny, whether we like it or not. We are not victims given the deeper meaning behind every experience that teaches us valuable lessons. I see life as one giant mirror and we are the architects and creators of our reality. What we call a deleterious experience is the universe shining a light on our thoughts. I know this may sound insensitive but the universe doesn't care what we think about. The universe is aligned with fundamental laws and when we abide by them, the circumstances of our life flow like a stream. We create every experience through our thoughts. Therefore, if we wish to heal the past, we ought to concede that nothing is an accident but results from our thinking. Is this an idea you are willing to embrace? Irrespective of your life's experience up till now, are you willing to give life a chance?

Heal The Distorted Beliefs And Replace Them With The Truth

When you make it a priority to heal yourself first, everything falls into place. When we perceive life differently, outside circumstances begin to reflect our thoughts. Granted, it may take a while but what is the rush? I often hear people talk about healing to the extent it is now embellished on social media with inspirational quotes. But no one tells us what it requires because no two paths to healing are the same. Some people spend their entire life healing and are still wounded. Healing requires understanding we are already whole as spiritual beings, yet throughout life we take on beliefs that distort this sense of wholeness. Healing is seeing past the illusion we are broken or need to be fixed. Whilst healing is important, integrating our wounds into the wholeness of our true nature is vital. We were never broken to begin with but lose our way throughout our earthly existence.

Healing requires putting the pieces of our life back together and stripping away what is not essential. It requires letting go of negativity by way of: fear, anger, anxiety and other disempowering states. These states find their way into our psyche and just like a computer virus, cause destruction until it takes over. Our job is to heal these distorted beliefs and replace them with the truth. We are none of these things and that is why healing is a return to love; the place we originated from and where we will eventually return. This is the essence of the message espoused by the spiritual teacher and author Matt Khan who writes in Everything Is Here to Help You: A Loving Guide to Your Soul's Evolution: "When rooted in the vibration of love, we don't have to be completely healed in order to bring forth the kindness and care that already dwells within us. Love inspires us to console the innocence within our heart that wishes it felt something other than how things are." With this is mind, your task over the coming days is to write down a list of what you believe is standing in your way of living a remarkable life. On a separate page, write down whether you know for certain this is true? How can you reframe these beliefs? What needs to change to create empowering beliefs and are you prepared to do the work? Once we heal ourselves, life begins to mirror our inner world because we have attended to the root cause of our pain.

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Get Ready For Miracles Like Never Before After Watching This | Dr. Joe Dispenza 2021

Why Healing Requires Integrating Our Unconscious Experiences Into The Wholeness Of Our Being

 Nurture The Deepest Part Of Your Core Nature

Healing involves integrating our fragmented parts into the entirety of our being. However, the paradox is: we are not broken but merely disassociated from our wholeness. The term healing denotes restoring what is not functioning as it is intended. When we are caught up in the distorted beliefs about ourselves, it leads to separation or what we consider being broken. In fact, it is merely being separated from the completeness of our true nature. Think in terms of a hologram where the whole is contained in every part. This was an idea espoused by the late theoretical physicist David Bohm who believed the universe is a solid and brilliant hologram. He recognised how each part of our physical reality contained information about the whole. Therefore, our thoughts, emotions, soul and physical body are composed of our soul nature.

How does this idea appeal to you? Are you comfortable knowing whilst you were born whole and pure, through your beliefs, thoughts and experiences it leads to separation? I'm not suggesting it is entirely your fault because we are all bound to experience this. It is said, while our painful experiences are not our fault, healing the pain is our responsibility. Although there's an element of truth to it, we ought to remember there is nothing to heal other than to attend to our unconscious memories in order to return to wholeness. By attending to these aspects, we integrate our known sense of separateness. Release and Renew is a mantra I often repeat in my writing when I discuss healing and emotions. In doing so, we release that which is not conducive to the present moment. Similarly, we renew our commitment to nurture ourselves by connecting with our core emotions. The integration I speak of is an association with our soul nature, which at its essence is pure, whole and knows nothing of separateness or brokenness. It is the egoic mind which disconnects us from our spiritual self to create two identities i.e. the darkness and the light.

How To Heal Your Fragmented Parts

I am drawn to a passage by the South African author Michael Brown, who writes in The Presence Process: "I dropped my use of the word "heal" because of its connotation that something was wrong and had to be fixed. Instead, I began using the word "integrate," which to me meant there was a part of my experience that was unconscious-a part of my experience that I resisted, controlled, and sedated-which was asking to be incorporated into the whole. Whereas healing felt like I was excluding something from my experience, integration felt like I was embracing everything I experienced." I believe Brown makes two important points here: we mustn't resist nor control the past, but perceive them as the whole of our life's experience. Second, integration means to embrace or at the very least acknowledge everything that happened to us. Perhaps not right away, but when we are ready to make peace with the past.

What are your thoughts about this? I realise you may have questions related to your personal experiences. Whilst I am not present to answer them, I assure you trying to make sense of them consciously is a healing process rather than an integration process. It is what author Dr. Mario Martinez means when he writes in The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success: "The true agents of change are elevated cognitions and exalted emotions. These agents of change provide sustained transformation; in fact, they have triumphed over the greatest infamies and darkest periods in our human journey." It does little good to dwell on why the past took place as it did. Instead, we ought to turn the tables and consider the following questions as a basis for self-enquiry. Instead of trying to make sense of the past which keeps us trapped replaying painful memories, we identify how the experiences served us.

1. How can I use the past to facilitate my greater growth?
2. In what ways can I use my emotional wounds to bring peace and love to the part of me that is pure and whole?
3. How can I integrate my sense of separateness into the wholeness of my being?
4. Whom do I need to become and let go of to achieve this inner state?

Once we can perceive the pain of the past through the lens of: compassion, forgiveness, peace and love we heal our fragmented parts. It may involve deep exploration into ourselves with or without the guidance of a trained therapist. Considering this, I'd like you to spend the following week journaling your answers to the four questions above. Call it a remote coaching session if you like. Write what comes to mind even if it involves images or symbols. Similarly, pay attention to your dreams via the symbols that appear. Note how you feel within the dream and upon waking. Look for messages in your waking life in the form of people, places and situations that cause you unrest. This is your soul guiding you towards integration. Ultimately, to heal ourselves we must be willing to integrate the pain of the past, so healing happens naturally as nature intended it to.

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Learn The Best Way To Be Happy And How To Do Better Through Increased Self-Worth

I'm calling you out and issuing a life changing challenge. Unravel and unwind! Yes, it's not anything quite that remarkable or complicated.

Here's what I'm thinking...

The thought occurred to me which turned into an idea how much better the whole world would be if I, in my own ways, was able to begin living with increased self-worth, and by turns get 10 others to focus on themselves and do the same.

There are reasons and examples all around us so that those people with any understanding at all need to be able to recognize we have got to do better.

We need to do better at getting in relating with one another through genuine connection.

The Course in Miracles states, "When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him you will see yourself."

When another human fails to reach their full potential or gets drawn into one of life's numerous black holes, our interconnectedness makes and weakens humanity more separated.

All of us know it is.

We think to ourselves, "How may I make my life better?"

You can do better and live with increased self-worth by understanding that we are more whole and alike than we are different and separated.

We all want to live a happy life. Doesn't it just make good sense then that we should be helping one another more as a way to live a happy life and moving on individually?

The Course in Miracles teaches us that, "This is perfect creation by the perfectly created, in union with the Perfect Creator."

Having increased self-worth is in recognizing that we are all interconnected.

To do better is recognizing that those few zones where we do vary is due to cause and effect working to bring us closer together and lead us to increased self-worth and wholeness.

My being able to listen to and share your experiences with you and vice versa is a favorable.

Wouldn't you agree?

To do better is taking the time to comprehend the point of view of the individual you feel you have conflict with. Why do they feel that way about the point in question?

Feel it with them.

We have actually got to do better. If we don't who's going to?

And so the underlying difficulty is this:

Do better. Be much better, and live a happy life.

Look to be open and honest with those you are presented an opportunity to get better acquainted.

Discover what you may be able to do to help them get to where they want to be, then help them get there. That would be doing much better.

Life is about connection. Focus on connection and better relationships.

To your increased self-worth!

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Tips To Create Whole Life Empowerment

Your daily diligence to the eight important factors in your life to attain wholeness and wellness might seem more challenging sometimes than others. The eight important factors include: Emotional, Spiritual, Mental Agility, Relationships, Social, Physical, Financial and Career.

Although, you might feel challenged with one or more factors, you need to focus on easy-to-implement solutions that allow you to assuage your concerns directly. This might mean spending less money to ensure you have the resources to deal with unexpected needs, or taking on new obligations in an effort to prove yourself in your workplace or your business.

When you focus on easy-to implement solutions you will feel increasingly less challenged as your day progresses, because you feel empowered when you have a workable solution. Furthermore, you are ensuring your Self that the factors in your life are manageable.

When you accept that life wellness encompasses not only your physical and mental health, but also the stability you build through your choices you are empowered. True healthfulness can only exist in your life when you are willing to take on stewardship of all factors of your existence, which you might otherwise view as an outside the realm of your control.

Accepting that you have the power to foster a sense of security-by working diligently to create the life you truly desire-allows you to eliminate the fear and worry that once encompassed a large portion of your experiences. Your prudence and thoughtfulness to all factors in your life become tools you can utilize to restore serenity and empowerment anytime you are faced with a twist or turn. Thus, the old anxiousness or worry is sidestepped with ease, because you address the issue in a practical and empowered manner. Your previous pattern of anxiousness or worry has dissipated and therefore has no power to interfere with your ongoing feelings of empowerment and wellness.

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Would The Real You Stand Up Please?

The Master was never impressed by diplomas or degrees. He scrutinised the person, not the certificate. He was once heard to say, "When you have ears to hear a bird in song, you don't need to look at its credentials."

The passage from Anthony De Mello's book, One Minute Wisdom underscores the message that brilliance always seeks its own path to reveal itself.

Ask anyone, "Who are you?" and they will reel off a list of attributes relating to their occupation, education or familial status. "I am an architect, husband, father, mother, accountant, etc." What you do in your waking hours encompasses one facet of your life. It holds significance we identify with but it doesn't tell us who we are at a deeper level.

Take a moment to consider who you truly are, beneath the surface and irrespective of your title or status. Who is the person you call the Self? The person you identify with as "I?" A facet of your being prevails beyond the individual you recognise in the mirror or see in photographs. This Self, although having transformed its external form over the years, remains the same.

In his book The Mind-Body Code, clinical neuropsychologist Dr Mario Martinez seeks to discover the key to longevity through interviews with centenarians. Having traversed the globe to uncover the secrets to long life, the common denominator among those who live beyond 100 years is the person they call "the Self" remains much the same.

Reflect on that for a moment. The person you know as "I" remains the same throughout your life because of your self-constructed image. Whilst your external façade may change, the essence of the "Self" is unchanged.

There is an underlying quality to your existence entrusted in goodness and recognised as the authentic self. Beneath your conditioning, the authentic self emerges to reveal the core self - the spiritual part of your nature. The authentic self is the embodiment of your soul nature - the immaterial Self which exists beyond the physical space-time continuum. This Self is not bound by the demands of our collective culture to conform by way of rules and regulations. It is boundless, transcending the limitations of time owing to its essence as simple awareness.

Equally, we recognise inauthenticity in others by labelling them as "fake." However, we are less likely to detect the same flaws in ourselves. This is because we associate with the dominant egoic self which strives to achieve more and is never fulfilled until it gets what it wants. Thus we buy into its false demands needing more to survive.

In contrast, the authentic self does not support the same needs as the ego. Through a quiet stillness, it communicates to us in silent whispers. The authentic self can be drowned out by the voice of the ego. Many people fail to merge with their deeper wisdom due to the overpowering ego which dominates their life.

The American mythologist Joseph Campbell wrote, "The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are." The authentic self is concealed beneath the formed image of the Self whilst serving to obscure your spiritual nature. To realise the core self requires shedding the false image of who you think you are and allowing the real self to emerge.

As we strive to assimilate within our collective society, to venture beyond the pale as Dr Martinez describes, we risk being excluded from belonging. Those who embark on a journey to realise success in the world are no longer considered part of the tribe. Our social need to identify with our tribe is an acknowledgment of our belonging.

This begs the question, how do we unite with our authentic nature, concealed under the weight of our conditioning?

To reveal your authenticity means honouring the wisdom contained within the core self. At the deepest level, the soul's yearning to express itself through you remains vital to your personal evolution. The authentic self honours the wisdom that you are more than your thoughts that relate to yourself. You created your image of self to exist and survive in the world, yet the eternal self does not associate with this likeness.

An authentic life requires you live according to your highest truth. It means embodying your innermost values which serve as guideposts for genuine living. Those who live an inauthentic life are prone to life's struggle contained within the states of: boredom, mid-life crisis, addictions, infidelity, etc. They stray from their authentic self by buying into the false belief they are lacking in this respect.

Life succeeds through contrasts. It was Shakespeare who expressed through Hamlet that "there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

Whilst unsettling, life's conflicting nature highlights our inner struggle to make sense of the world. This becomes clear as we dip our toes in the water to experience the other side. Thus a mid-life crisis becomes a call to heal unpleasant emotional conflicts we have abandoned. To stay stuck in a mid-life crisis however becomes a healing crisis vying for our attention.

As we merge with the authentic self, our problems, pain and struggles give rise to inspired living. We harmonise with our essential-self by integrating our highest values into the core of our being.

Self-analysis is a means to reawaken the authentic self by making conscious what was unconscious. I use reawaken since your default state at your conception is one of innocence and pure awareness. Byron Katie's program The Work is a valuable healing and transformation tool which offers powerful insights for enquiring into unconscious beliefs to awaken the authentic self.

As you unite with the authentic self, a greater wholeness emerges to reveal the core self.

To appreciate a bird in song requires one to recognise the same tune within their own being. It is then our story of wholeness emerges out of the fog of separateness.

If you enjoyed this article by Tony Fahkry, why not gain access to Tony's full body of knowledge by getting a copy of his new book 'The Power to Navigate Life'

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