The Negative People Around Us: A Perspective

Is it true that how people treat us is the single biggest determinant of our happiness? Well, it's due to the fact that our happiness depends most on the standard of our relationships as a result of being social creatures. We care too much what would other people think of us,which should not be the case because in the first place our life is what we make it.

Our social nature is additionally the explanation why being stupid is one amongst the foremost cherished experiences and why isolation-the extreme sort of that is solitary confinement-is rated, by those that were unfortunate to endure it, one amongst life's most hard experiences.

Negative people bring our mood down with their pessimism, anxiety, and general sense of distrust. Imagine being perpetually discouraged from following your dreams as a result. Constant exposure to such negativity will create deep inroads into your positivism, leading you to either become negative-diffident, anxious, and distrustful-yourself, or to become indifferent, uncaring, or perhaps mean towards the negative person.

However, we can deal with them by steering away from them. This is often easier said than done. Another sensible approach to managing them is to start out by understanding the explanations for his or her negativity. In brief, the majority negativity has its roots such as the fear of being disrespected by others, the worry of not being wanted by others, and therefore the worry that "bad things" are progressing to happen. These fears feed off one another to fuel the idea that "the world could be a dangerous place and folks are usually mean."

It is straightforward to examine however, from the attitude of somebody operational from such fears, it is smart to question the knowledge of following dreams (failure appears most guaranteed), and to be taking risks notwithstanding it's obvious that doing thus is critical to find out and grow.

Negative individuals are often real downers in any oral communication. despite what we say, they need some way of spinning things in an exceedingly negative direction. Some negative individuals are often therefore negative that it feels debilitating simply being around them. The discussion can simply swirl into additional negativity, and you pull yourself down within the method. you'll be able to provide constructive comments, and if the person rebutts with no signs of backing down, stop interacting.

Whether the person is negative or not, it is the product of our lens. What's important is we take responsibility for our actions.

Learn to see the goodness of a person than the negative. It may be tough, but once you develop are used to being optimistic, it becomes habit.

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Maintain Your Trust and Believe in Yourself

Protect your good image from the eyes of negative viewers, who may look at your good appearance with an ugly fiendish eye, and ruin your positive qualities with their chemical infested tongues.

Michael Bassey Johnson

Five Secrets to Remain Focused When Your Back Is Against the Wall

Stay Focused on your Goals!

Basketball often teaches us valuable lessons that we can apply to our own lives. During the 2016 NBA finals, for instance, whether you were rooting for the Golden State Warriors or the Cleveland Cavaliers, we witnessed a number of viable strategies that can be used when our backs are against the wall, and how to stay laser-focused on your goals for the big win.

Even if you're not a basketball fan, the seven-game series taught us five vital principles for achieving success:

1. Don't complain. When the Cavaliers were losing three games to one during the best of seven series, with the world watching, it would have been easy to complain. It would have been easy to point fingers at the officials or other teammates. Instead, each player committed to doing what they needed to do to win. One starter, Kevin Love, went to the coach and volunteered to give up his starting position if it would help the team. He was willing to sacrifice his personal accolades for the big picture. When we are a part of a team, we too have to focus on the big picture to be successful.

2. Delete the junk from your mind. When the Cavaliers were down three games to one, many people said they could never win. Unfortunately, they had lost the NBA championship last year to the same team. Haters were saying, "they aren't good enough and will lose again." We have to delete from our minds the junk that we hear just as we delete junk from our computers. Junk only slows down our hard drive, and prevents us from achieving our goals. When negative people try to influence you, hit the delete button, and keep hitting delete delete delete. Stay focused on your goals. Only you can rewrite your story.

3. Don't let past failures define you. To win, the Cavaliers had to forget about last year's loss to Golden State. Use your past failures as a stepping stone. If you take the time to study why you didn't succeed last time, you can rework your blueprint for success. LeBron James said he had to review films and determine how he could improve his game. He then discovered what he needed to change. We have to also be willing to make a change to improve. If we can't accept that we need to make a change, sometimes this paralyzes us, and we will not move forward.

4. Don't be intimidated. Golden State Warriors were the champs. To defeat a champion, you have to possess a champion mentality. Pay attention to details and visualize the goal, just as LeBron James visualized winning. Determine what you want to achieve, and see yourself accomplishing that goal.

5. Do your thing. Analyze your strengths and weaknesses and determine how you can be a better you.

These principles can be applied in our daily lives. Eliminate self-doubt. People who achieve great success don't allow past failures to define them. The next time your back is against the wall, try these strategies and you too can be successful.

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Find a Way to Avoid the Negativity That Comes With Dealing With Negative People

When dealing with someone who knows the things that annoy you it can make for a downright testy relationship at times. You must always be aware of the fact that they know the things that will set you off in a moments-time and be careful when dealing with them from a place of frustration.

Now knowing your triggers will help you to become more aware during times when people are trying to antagonize you. Usually during the course of a conversation going wrong or heated debate and/or discussion they will constantly refer to those things that annoy you. This is the time to exercise restraint in not falling prey to their attempts. I know it can be rough because the more you try to avoid becoming agitated in the conversation; the more they make certain inferences to draw you nearer to your boiling point. You try to ignore them and yet they will continue to make comments and insinuations to further antagonize you to that place of discomfort especially when you're trying not to get angry.

Knowing your triggers and the things that agitate you will assist you in not being drawn into unnecessary conflict. When you sense someone attempting to take you to a negative place and you have identified what they're trying to do, either end the conversation or change topics. But by all means don't be drawn into the negativity. Over time you will find that most people who try to use insults and what they perceive to be your short comings to annoy you as well. Most of the time these people have their own issues that they're dealing with internally and for whatever reason, if they're having a bad day they want you to have one too.

Sometimes you can rise above it but sometimes you just can't. I find that it's best to limit your contact with people who behave in this manner. Or sometimes you have to sever ties with these people altogether because you will find yourself being on the receiving end of their malice comments and bad behavior more often than not. It's not always in your personal relationships either. This issue can arise in business as well,especially if there is some kind of inferiority involved. You may have that business associate who is just looking for an axe to grind and then you show up. "Game on,".

Surprisingly though depending on the person and the caliber of your relationship you can actually speak to them about the behavior they're displaying and bring it to their attention so that they can correct this issue. In some instances they aren't even aware that they're doing these things to you and if you don't say anything they will continue to do the same things over and over again.

The best thing to do here is to know yourself and the people you are dealing with. Essentially this will help you to navigate through these situations and also help you teach others to deal with their own issues as well.

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The 20 Most Important Steps You Can Take to Build High Self-Esteem

Building self-esteem takes time, but it is an exciting process to go through. Time will come when you look back and see to what extent you’ve changed.

Then you will happily realize that the time it took to change yourself was really worth it.

Before looking at the 20 steps, you should understand why you may have low self-esteem. It’s very likely that something happened to you in childhood that caused you to have a poor opinion about yourself.

Maybe someone said something negative about how you look. You were upset to hear that. This deep feeling left and imprint in your mind.

You started to dwell on that thought. This caused you to think about yourself in a negative way and see yourself in a completely different light. This dropped your confidence level and consequently your whole mindset shifted. Your judgement changed. You started to see the world through different eyes.

As you went on to live with your low self-esteem, you strengthened this new mindset. The more limiting beliefs you introduced to your mind, the lower your self-esteem fell. Finally, you formed such a strong filter in your mind, that it started to prevent almost all positive things, events or circumstances reaching you.

You trained this filter to accept only negative things in your life. Things that confirmed your status quo.

Now, whenever a circumstance or event does not resonate with your low self-esteem, you cannot notice it. This causes you to miss out on good things in life. You feel that you are unlucky, while everyone else is enjoying life.

You will never experience truly exciting life unless you reprogram your old filter. The steps below will help you achieve exactly that. They will let you understand what is involved in building self-esteem. Include as many of them as you can in your day and to notice results almost immediately.

1. Use positive affirmations. Although this is the most effective way of building self-confidence, it is the least used one.

By using positive affirmations you make your mind believe that you are a completely different person.

2. Take responsibility. You have to understand that you are 100% responsible for your life. Nobody else is. You should not blame your parents, job or friends. You should realise that you have made all the decisions yourself.

Maybe your decisions were not smartest ones, but that’s okay. You will consciously change them following these steps in building self-esteem.

3. Control your thinking.

 Most people do not control their thoughts. Their thoughts have control over them.

If you introduce a thought in your mind and hold it for long enough, it will expand.

You started with one thought about low self-esteem. You dwelt on it for a while. That negative thought kept expanding, invited thoughts alike and formed your entire mindset.

But as you now are aware of that, you can start to consciously control what you are thinking about.

Try to focus on good things instead of bad ones. Give your attention only to things that make you feel great.

The more you focus on positive things, the less space you will leave for negative thoughts that maintain your low self-esteem.

4. Get rid of useless people. Wrong choice of people you socialize with can really drag you down. You should completely eliminate all negative people from your life.

Even if you are surrounded only by negative people, you should not socialize with any of them. You are much better off being alone for a little while.

You should not be around negative people until you become positive. As soon as your confidence level goes up you will attract good people to your life, and therefore negative friends or family will not have such a big impact on you.

5. Imagine your self-esteem is already high . How would you act? What would you do? How would you talk to others? What activities would you engage in? Start doing them!

If you keep behaving in a way that the future confident you behaves, soon this will become natural, and you’ll be able to enjoy a better reality.

6. Change your actions. Instead of your usual routine, replace some (or most, if you can) of your actions with their opposites.

Lets say that as soon as you come home, you start thinking about how miserable you are. Instead of doing that, as soon as you come home, put your favorite music on. This will break the chain of your daily routine, introducing a completely different action.

When you gradually replace most of your actions with their opposites, your mindset will change to a positive one.

7. Relax. When you find yourself feeling shy or self-conscious, take a deep breath in and out; do so for as long as it takes for you to completely relax. Then affirm you yourself you’re fine, you feel good and everything’s okay. This will help you to feel and appear more confident.

8. Look good. No matter what your reasoning might be, looking bad negatively impacts your mood. It does not matter if you are alone at home and not intending to go out. Looking good still counts.

If you take care of your body it will take care of you. You should take time to care for your body. If you do that, your confidence level will jump to a degree you have never expected.

These small steps you take will eventually add up to the process of building self-esteem.

9. Change your posture. Take a close look at how you hold yourself. Do you stand straight, with shoulders moved back? Do you hold your head up? Do you maintain eye contact? Do you respond to people with smile?

Probably not. If you did, you would not be reading this article. These are all tell-tale signs of a confident person.

10. Smile.When you smile it shows that you are happy, successful and confident.

The act of smiling relaxes you and makes you see more positive aspects of life. This immensely helps in building self-esteem.

11. Think outside-the-box. Instead of thinking “I am such a failure” think “How can I become more successful?”. This lets your mind stop maintaining your current lifestyle and start thinking how to improve it.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking how miserable you are, replace this statement to a “how” question. This will help you in building self-esteem.

12. Set goals.

Start planning your life in advance. Take a diary, select a date that suits you and write down the goal to be achieved by that date. Then divide that goal into smaller steps and enter each step into the appropriate diary page.

Once you achieve the goal you will prove to yourself that you’ve gained more confidence. You will realize that the process of building self-esteem is in progress.

13. Get organised. Instead of living in chaos, organize your day. Plan your day in advance. This will re-organize your mind to think in a more efficient way. It will also leave no space for a negative self-talk.

14. Live in tidiness. This is a very important step. Tidiness at home equals tidiness in mind. The more tidy you become, the more peace and happiness you will invite into your life.

15. Do something unusual. At least once a week do something you have never done. Go to a confidence boosting seminar, book a holiday only for yourself, book a piano lesson… options are indeed countless.

This activity pushes you out of your comfort zone and lets you experience how it feels to be a different person.

16. Change one habit. E.g., change the habit of coming home from work and watching TV till late. Instead of that, you should do something that can build your confidence instead.

You may read an inspiring book or learn some new skill that would let you brag about to your friends:)

You may even consider becoming an expert at something. This will surely help you in building self-esteem.

17. Do absolutely nothing. You should find some time to break away from all the activity. Try to find a quiet spot to reflect on your inner self.

Do you notice some changes in your life? Do you feel more confident?

If the answer is yes, keep doing whatever you do. If the answer is negative, then you should ask yourself what is stopping you from building self-esteem.

You should ask this question persistently until you recognize the block in your life. Once you find it, try to come up with ways to overcome it.

18. Socialize. 

Try to join associations, clubs and groups of like-minded people. Socialize with people that are positive and can support you or at least understand you.

This way the road to change will be a bit easier. You will feel that there is someone that can listen to you and understand you.

19. Exercise. A daily workout will de-stress your body and mind and will make you feel great. You will definitely become more confident because you will feel that you are getting more fit and energetic.

20. Visualize. Every morning or evening (or both!) visualize yourself being very confident. How would you behave? How would you look? How would you feel? Try to visualize every detail of a confident you.

This way you will unconsciously set a goal for yourself to become a confident person.

You should keep visualizing yourself being confident and things around you will inevitably change. New opportunities and people will come into your life to support you.

Conclusion

Building self-esteem can be hard, but you can make it fun too.

Just think of all the steps I have given as exciting challenges.

You should try to follow all the advice enthusiastically and make this a game rather than a chore. This way the time will pass quicker and your confidence level will start growing immensely.

I wish you all the best in the process of building self-esteem!

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