Teach People How To Treat You Better!

According to Dr. Phil, "We teach people how to treat us." Let that sink in for a moment. Rephrase it and repeat it a couple times to yourself. "I teach people how to treat me." Maybe you're thinking, my life isn't perfect and maybe once in a while an argument gets heated, but I'm doing alright.

But think for a moment about how people really do treat you. How does your spouse or significant other talk to you or about you? Do you feel supported and like you are both on the same team? What about your dad? Your ex? Do you walk on eggshells or tip toe around certain issues to avoid an argument? Think about nicknames people use for you, is there one you don't really like but you just let it go?

Are there things that any of them say that are a little on the edge of being rude? How do you react when this happens? Do you stop it, leave the room as if you didn't hear it, or just keep quiet? They may call you "big mama" referring to your extra weight but they frame it as "an inside joke". Do you laugh with them? Or do you ask them not to use that reference for you again?

What about your children? How do they talk to you? How do they behave toward you? Do they yell at you, try to hit you, push, ignore you, or kick at you when they don't get their way? Do you chalk this up to "just a tantrum" or do you discipline them for it? Do they show appreciation or just demand or expect you to cook, clean, and drive them to/from activities?

Think about other people in your life such as co-workers, friends, and relatives. Maybe they joke about "you and your book smarts", refer to your "hillbilly" accent, comment that you "run or throw like a girl", or ask "when are you going to just get a real job?" How do you respond? Does it feel like your co-workers or your boss value your contributions? Have you been corrected or yelled at by a boss or co-worker in front of other employees or customers?

As you think about how each of these types of people treat you, try to identify any patterns between them. For example, do both your husband and your in-laws make fun of the type of job that you have? Is there a running joke with your in-laws and your friends about your house being featured on the next TV episode of Hoarders or How Clean is your House?

Or maybe you have a friend or several friends that seem to imply that being a stay at home mom is not important or the fact that you work full-time and have your kids in daycare is not right. Maybe it's a co-worker who rolls their eyes every time you get a phone call from your kids who are at home.

Does this mean you are to blame for people treating you badly? Absolutely not. You are only responsible for what you knew when you knew it. And each person is ultimately responsible for their own behavior. But the good news is that now that you do know, you absolutely can teach most people how to treat you better!

The way that you teach people how to respect you or in some cases teach people how to treat you better is by first creating a very clear picture for yourself about what kind of behavior or treatment you will accept, how you express this to others, and how you respond if the poor treatment continues.

In order to set clear limits about how others treat you, it's important for you to first commit to some firm guidelines about how YOU treat yourself and others. The better you get at taking care of yourself, the harder it will be for you to tolerate disrespect from others. You also have to treat others well. The old adage, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" should be your new mantra.

We teach people how to treat us, yes. But that doesn't mean that everyone who behaves badly toward us is an evil person. They may not even be aware of how their treatment makes you feel. And you definitely contribute to that if you don't let them know how their behavior impacts you. They don't know what they don't know either. And if they do know they are hurting you, all the more reason for you to put a stop to it now.

So now that you know you can teach people to treat you better, the next step is to learn more about how to set firm boundaries and how to express yourself in an assertive way. With a little practice, you will be able to send a clear message to folks that you respect yourself and won't allow anyone to violate that in the way they treat you. There are several ways you can learn to set boundaries and stand up for yourself including self-help books, community education classes, or by getting the help of a life coach who specializes in this area. Contact us today!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Teach-People-How-To-Treat-You-Better!&id=9314504

7 Things Men Really Really Want In A Relationship

Open any beauty magazine and you'll see article upon article about what women want in relationships and how to get that. But there's rarely a space for men to express their relationship needs. Thanks to MindBodyGreen for creating that space. Here are 7 things that men really want in a relationship.

1. To feel like your hero

We don’t want to be your Clark Kent. We want to be your Superman. We want you to see us as leaping tall buildings in a single bound and catching bullets. We want to carry you in our arms and show you the world. Or at least feel that way. And I know it’s our job to get there, but nothing gives us more strength than a woman who creates a space that makes us feel invincible. If you make us feel invincible, we’ll make you feel like you’re the most beautiful creature on this planet.

2. Acceptance

There’s a new T-shirt trending Los Angeles titled “Love Me Anyways.” They should make them for men. Because we NEED to feel that when we stack the dishes in the dishwasher like a five year-old, say the wrong thing in front of your friends, leave the toilet seat up, get too logical, forget something you’ve said a thousand times, that you love us anyways. Because inside every man is a boy who forgets he’s a man sometimes. And every boy gets into things, not because he’s bad but because he’s got a curious mind and a short attention span.

Unconditional support from our woman is what will snap us out of our boyish behavior and inject us with a desire to be a stronger man. Only when you accept us as we are, who we are, will we want to become someone better.

3. Not to be left in the dark

So many women don’t tell their men how they feel because they don’t want to rock the boat. Or they’re afraid. The truth is when you don’t express yourself, you leave us in the dark. We don’t really know the truth of you. You are prepackaging and presenting parts of your life instead of doing your whole life with us.

Couples grow and get stronger overcoming adversity, not by doing life separately. Know that every time you hold things in, you are building walls inside the sacred space of the relationship. No, we don’t want you to verbally vomit on us. But believe it or not, we really do want to know who you truly are.

4. Blinders sex

There’s sex. Then there’s blinders sex, the kind of sex that gives you blinders, keeps your eyes forward and intentions straight when you’re out in the world. Let’s face it. Men are going to look. They’re like squirrels. They get distracted by shiny things. But there’s a difference between noticing and wanting. Blinders sex gets men to say, “Yeah, she may be pretty but I would never trade in what I have for anything else.”

Blinders sex isn’t just good sex. It’s a unique connection with someone that makes you fantasize about them in the shower, call in sick so you can lie in bed all day making love and eating Oreos. It produces glue that cannot happen with anyone else.

5. The C-word

Communication. Without it, relationships are built on sand. We want you to communicate directly. We don’t get clues. We need things spelled out. And we understand that if you have to spell it out, it’s not the same. You don’t just want us to do the dishes. You want us to want to do the dishes. We get it. OK, then tell us. Explain. Model how you would like us to communicate back.

For many of us, communication is not our specialty. We need some guidance. Generally speaking, men tend to pull from a logical place. Women pull from an emotional place. If you can meet us at logic, we will will match your emotions. Hopefully. But we need you to tell us.

6. Sweat

There’s nothing sexier than working out with your intimate partner. Watching you sweat and work on your body only encourages us to work on ours as well. We get to see the raw and real you, a different type of naked. Now, if we do this together, we’re in the act of building something, a lifestyle. We’re not just talking. We’re doing. And that’s hot.

7. To have our own lives

We may not say it, because how do you tell the person you love to get a life? But we really want you to have your own life. Really. We want you to have your own set of friends, activities, and passions. Of course we want to be supportive of everything you care about and be a part of anything you would like us to be a part of, but we want you to have your own identity.

Because if you have nothing that is yours, our relationship is standing on one leg. Also, if you have your own life, it forces us to get our own life as well or risk losing you. Forget legs. Let’s put our relationship on wheels. One is yours. One is mine. And together, we’ll ride.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13107/7-things-men-really-really-want-in-a-relationship.html