A Kick From Inside And The Wake Up Call From Outside

Sometimes you get kicked from outside and awakened from inside. With that said, here this article comes at you. Think about life and existence when conditions become stagnant and even stalled for a moment. Our wake up call will happen in a way you do not expect from outside and in a way you have been subconsciously expecting from inside. For those of you who have been awakened from this sort of sleep you know what I mean, for those of you who have not, you will know what I mean when the stall in growth and change has been reached.

Sure, my first paragraph was somewhat cryptic and can easily be misunderstood, so let me make it plain in this next sentence: We all get irresponsible sometimes, and we need to awaken from that irresponsibility. Whether it is dealing with problems at home, problems in our mind, or wherever they may immediately be for us. We need (and ultimately want) to get moving on them, or they will become worse and worse, not better by themselves. You know, like an untamed forest needs to be manicured and pruned to be controlled, so our lives need the same thing to not be uncontrolled and untamed.

Responsibility at a basic level is the beginning of control, consistent action is what makes responsibility work though. Consistency and responsibility are the conscious core of our humanity. Without them, we would be nothing but automatic chaos without consciousness. What I mean is where there is weakness there is unconsciousness.

Look, life can be what we believe it is, but first we have to take responsibility, and create what we want through consistent action. These are both a kick from inside of us. Outer conditions are really controlled by this shake up and consistent action with this shake up that introduces us to reality once or again.

To end: This article is under the heading of "anger management" because this wake up call is not always desired, in fact it makes us angry and indignant if taken the wrong way either from inside of us or outside of us. "Waking up is the hardest thing to do in the morning" the old saying goes, but waking up is really hard when it comes to all growing pains of life and existence. This responsibility may be a hard pill to sometimes swallow, but we must take it if we want to grow better for and to ourselves.

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Success Is Loving What You Are Doing

Success is not the product of an accident. It is a collaborative effort of hard work, perseverance, learning, sacrifice and loving what you are doing. So, we need to have an aim in life, acquire more knowledge, work hard, and persevere to realize our endeavors in life.

Perseverance refers to the hard work that we do after we get tired of doing the hard work we already did. It is our ability to keep on, moving on, even when our efforts are not met. It is our ability that can make a difference. It comes from being committed to our goals, and from believing in ourselves.

Our success often springs from our ability to refocus to our goal over and over and to give it one more try, and then another,until such time that it leads to success. Our perseverance makes us trustworthy in the eyes of other people because they know we won't quit when an obstacle comes along. It increases our sense of self-worth to take full responsibility of our actions to achieve our goals.

Our commitment heightens our motivation to go on what we have started. It comes from being committed to our goal, and from believing in ourselves and in our goal's potentials. It takes strength from our resilience and optimism to move forward despite the obstacles we encountered.

When we love what we are doing and we persevere when we encounter problems along the way; then, that's what define our success. There's no denying that perseverance is really essential in realizing our dreams, visions and aspirations we want to achieve for ourselves.

Developing the perseverance to hold fast and shift back on track provides the greatest support in fulfilling whatever it might be that we desire to accomplish. It makes the physical journey more enjoyable and less strenuous even if the road is not always that smooth.

We need to define our goals for achieving success in any endeavor. Know and accept that there will be obstacles and setbacks; then prepare for them. Nothing important was every accomplished without adversity, setbacks and difficulties to contend with along the way.

We need to know and accept that there will always be obstacles and setbacks. What's important is to surpass adversity, setbacks and difficulties with a positive mindset. No one can stop us to reach our goals if we anticipate beforehand the potential challenges that we meet through the course of our journey.

We should always have a contingency plan so that when things went wrong, it won't break us because we know that if one approach doesn't work, we still have other options on how to reach on top especially when we really love what we are doing.

Before you start to work on a project, try to imagine how you will feel both as you work on it and when it is completed. Imagine being engaged with it, and feeling the harmony, fulfillment, mastery or pride that will come with it.

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Why You Must Get Rid Of False Expectations

A fulfilled life is a result of successive complete and fulfilled days. If you are going to have a fruitful day, it is important that you have the day properly outlined and planned out. Of the many things you need in the right place are expectations: expectations for a positive fruition for plans and objectives. These are expectations we impose on ourselves and are sometimes imposed on us by other people.

Expectations have had a great bearing on how much I have accomplished, they have been the core of my belief and trust that things will happen as desired. Because I have been able to live each day successfully and have accomplished each day according to expectation, life has been a bundle of joy.

However, it has been of utmost importance to define and distinguish between realistic and unrealistic expectations. These can also be termed as true and false expectations. It is worth mentioning that, although truthful expectations help yield positive results, false expectations are a constraint to fulfillment of any endeavor.

While brooding over positive expectations is fundamental, it is of equal importance that false expectations are gotten rid of if achievement is going to be attained. My experience and research has identified an inexhaustible number of false expectations, this helped me get rid of all such hopes. Here now are some common false expectations and why it was important that I get rid of them.

The expectation that everyone should like me.

The expectation that the world must be fair.

The expectation that all my days are supposed to be sunny, that is, a storm will never come.

The expectation of never being anxious or depressed.

The expectation of always being in the driving seat- always in control and always knowing what is going to happen next.

The expectation that people will be perfect.

False expectations made me take up a level of control that I really did not have in given circumstances. This led to considerable failures and disappointments along the way. This denied me the chance to learn from others because, in my mind, I was on top of things and yet was not. I did not let those who knew better control things. Nonetheless, those days are gone and I know better now. I now know only to control the things I can and to let other players act their roles.

Disappointments literally make the heart sick. False expectations when fully mature breed disappointments which in turn sicken the heart. Such emotions are never good for anything, worse still for success and fruition of goals. There is a predisposition in man to repeatedly feel disappointed when their hopes are not met.

False hopes are heavy loads to shoulder. It does not really matter if they are really personal or about others, they are simply heavy to carry. You may want to tone down those expectations because they place unrealistic demands on ourselves, colleagues, etc. A tendency to act as if others "should" just live and give in to our expectations is a common feature of false hopes. They "Should" just know what my desires are is bad for business.

Further, false expectations cause the hopeful individual to have some preconceived blueprint of how things should be without really considering others. People develop an "if- then" syndrome which dictates how things should be done. This is actually a very common erroneous assumption.

To hold on to false expectations is to obstruct the knack to pursue what matters most in life. For example, those who expect NEVER to make a mistake won't actually take any form of a risk in life. And since they will not take risks, it is impossible to step out and pursue the things they care for.

Unfortunately, some expectations are not feasible. They are simply not practical. Often, they might appear like reasonable and viable expectations but are in fact not. From a distance, they may even give the impression of being fair, realistic and reasonable but in reality, such prospects cannot truly be met. Worse still, such expectations only create additional problems, far worse than they solve. For instance, the expectation that young children should always be tip-top in terms of their behavior is far-fetched. A colleague of mine shared his experience, "I had set all the appropriate limits and rules, and for some time they were all fairly-behaved children. But in my efforts and quest to further enforce this expectation, I experienced disappointments, and only roused conflict with the kids besides other problems.

False expectations are always grounds for loss because they set you and other people up for disappointment. Reality is that, there is no life without expectations, however, I choose to hold on to realistic and measurable expectations.

What is true is that I cannot please everyone nor can I make everyone like me. It can't just happen, I will be naïve in trying to make it happen.

To even start wishing I could control all the aspects of my world in order to ensure things function consistently in the most harmonious way is like fighting the wind. The world cannot be all fair and I can only control so much. The rest is about accepting and moving on.

Well, false expectations almost made a stiff naked person out of me, I was becoming rigid to the opinions and inputs of others. I could leave no room for change for situations or let other have a go at matters.

All in all, to get rid of false expectations, it is imperative to arrest all unrealistic hopes, thoughtfully and with seriousness. It will be key to reflect on the potential effect of the expectation and practice consideration for others as they are built. Being flexible and allowing for external impact is the way to go for getting rid of false expectations.

False expectations are a menace and are unhealthy, they should be gotten rid of no matter how hard it may be. It is possible to create a whole set of beliefs, motivations, etc. that will assist you and others.

Until next time,

Your friend,

Felipe

Learn why getting rid of false expectations is fundamental if achievement is going to be attained.

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Message From the Universe: Do Not Make a Mountain Out of a Molehill!

"From here, of course, all earthly problems appear small - really small. That's because we know they're fleeting, they prepare you for the "best of your life," and you chose them, not wanting to obtain their rewards in any other way.

But from where you are, of course, they can look gigantic. That's because they're often seen as permanent, limiting, and imposed upon you by chance, fate, or circumstance.

Get real. See them from our perspective.

To the best of your life starting right now,

The Universe"

There are as many grains of sand in all the deserts and beaches in this planet as there are stars and galaxies. So just pick up one grain of sand, carefully look at it, analyze it for what it is, and imagine yourself INSIDE that little grain of sand, in a quantum level, as this is who we are when we compare Earth with all the rest of galaxies, planets and stars in our Universe. We feel that our problems are monumental when we face them today, but the reality is that these problems are given to us because the power from above knows you can handle it. We deal with issues daily, some small and other pretty large. We focus on looking for a solution to alleviate the gravity of that problem. Once solution is found, we move forward. Ideal situation isn't? For most, it is but others have the difficulty in understanding the letting go part and moving on. They let that issue ponder and consume the energy they have left to move forward to bigger and better things. They feel and stay trap on that issue, gravitating around it like the moon with our planet. They feel like no solution can be the best solution and keep on feeling sorry about themselves and their situation.

Learning to let go and finding A solution, and NOT the best solution is necessary for you to learn to move past that issue and focus on more productive aspect of your life. No need to worry as many more problems will arise in your lifetime but if you get into the habit of solving problems and learning to move forward, the rest of your issues will seem pretty easy to overcome. There is no unique solution for all your problems, and even if you do find one, you might come across another solution that may be better. Do not regret anything and just learn from all the lessons life is giving you. You are a smart person and you need to stay positive and on track to reach your dreams and goals. We all want to be the best we can be and strive for excellence. However, make sure to not let excellence become an obstacle. There is no such things as perfection, so learn to live with that.

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On Being Happy As a Choice

For all of us, it is natural to feel sad when someone closest to us passes away, or get angry when someone does wrong to us. But have you ever encountered a person who feels "happy" amidst such situations? I guess it would be me, but we're more than 7 billion here on Earth now, and it's very possible to find even just one who's like that.

American psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler Ross authored "Stages of Change," a book that discusses on how a person normally deals with his life problems in general. According to the book, there are 5 stages that a person goes through every time a negative change (problem) happens in his life: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Taking for example a man's grief over his girlfriend's death due to a crime-related, a sudden situation, say a freaky shooting spree, the "moving on" process goes like this:

DENIAL: "It's not true! She's still alive!"

ANGER: "Why the heck this thing happened? Of all the people, why her? She doesn't deserve this?"

BARGAINING: "If I was just at her side the moment it happened, then I would have saved her."

DEPRESSION: "I should have died with her! I'd rather take my life than live without her!"

ACCEPTANCE: "I know she's not here anymore, so I guess I should get over this and move on."

In some cases, especially the extreme ones, going through the "moving on" stages can take longer periods of time than expected depending on the gravity of the situation itself and/or the impact made to the person involved plus the actions he had taken during the process. Subsequent negative actions usually prolong the process include - but not limited to - habitual drinking, drug abuse, and suicidal attempts, all leading to the person's death if not handled accordingly.

On the other hand, the "moving on" process can also go faster, although skipping the stages in-between Denial and Acceptance is not possible. The faster recovery from negative change depends on how the person handled himself positively in all aspects - physical, emotional, mental, social, and spiritual, among others - and how he understands both the situation itself and this "healing" process (best learned beforehand). People with such abilities adapt the principles of "mind over matter" and "mind over heart."

The human brain actually works in the same fashion as the computer's processor which commands consequent actions to the machine. Thus, the human brain has the power to "tell" everything the person should do including how he should emotionally react on various life situations - a clear opposite to the popular belief that "the heart dictates our emotions." However, the sets of actions that the computer's processor performs can be altered via data manipulation; and so with the human brain via conditioning and acquisition of new knowledge. As mentioned earlier, if the person, at the first place, has accepted the harsh realities of life including the existence of death and suffering, understood the process of "moving on" from negative change, and has the ability to make and maintain a positive outlook out of the various adversities of life, then the person's emotional recovery can go faster, thus his life would go back to normal at an earlier time. Just think of how Miss Philippines quickly stood up from her accidental downfall onstage in her icy-blue frock at the Miss Universe 1999 preliminaries and you'll see what this means.

Yes, it is human nature to feel sad or angry upon the situation's call, but such circumstances don't really tell us to dwell on them forever. Also, it is not the situation that makes us react accordingly but just us ourselves. Sadness and anger, among all other negative feelings, are just options; and having said that, happiness can also be a choice. For the narrowest of minds, being happy amidst negative situations is evil and tantamount to hoping for the worst for other people; but in reality, it is about finding the brighter side of even the worst things in life and looking forward to it with a smile.

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