Tips on Boosting Self-Confidence for Teens

The following information should help teens improve their self-confidence.

Recognize Your Talents

It's easy to blow off your abilities, especially if your peers make fun of them (and they probably do so out of jealousy). But get serious with yourself and make a list of things you love to do and are good at. Keep this list just for yourself and look at it often. Remember it when you flunk a test or say something you wish you hadn't. Those talents of yours won't go away, and you can rely on them for the rest of your life... as long as you cultivate them.

Cultivate Your Abilities

You may have so many interests and abilities that it's impossible to develop them all; or, you may have one thing you really love to do. Regardless, look into developing and using some of your abilities in applications beyond school. Not only will it open more opportunities to look for activities around your community, but it might also remove you from peer judgment.

Be Like a Duck

Have you ever heard the expression that you should be like a duck and let negative words and attitudes roll off your back? It's a good thing to cultivate - if you take every criticism or off-hand comment to heart, you might find yourself paralyzed with fear of other's judgment. Remember, school and teenage-hood are not forever. You will get out of this stage and you shouldn't let the criticisms of others sabotage your future, which lasts a lot longer than middle and high school!

Resist the Urge to Compare

When you look at your friends, classmates, or pictures of celebrities, try to resist the temptation to scrutinize them as the gold standard to which you should aspire. Someone will always have better legs, superior athletic prowess, nicer hair, etc. than you. But those people don't set the standard for you; you are who you are, and they can't measure up to that, either!

Listen to the Inner Voice - Then Tell It to Shut Up

Stop and listen to your inner thoughts for a while. What do you automatically think of yourself in response to certain situations? What do you say to yourself when you wake up, interact with friends, or go to class? If you are tearing yourself down with negative thoughts, you need to stop. Address the negative self-talk and replace it with positive self-confidence instead.

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Message From the Universe: Love Everything You Already Have!

"I'd say the biggest decision of your life was not your career, your marital status, or your home... it was choosing to love as often as you have.

You lover, The Universe" I see many people I have coached in the past settle in their career, their spouse and their living arrangement. They just accepted what life have given them. They stopped looking to better themselves and look for other opportunities to grow. They are afraid of venturing out and seeking new challenges, new options so they can feel proud of their accomplishments and not live life with regrets. Since we do not know of when is our time to go (leave our physical body). it is important to take advantage of the time you have on earth, and make sure you are taking advantage of every single minute you have here. Love everything you do, love every people you meet and greet, love your career, your spouse and where you live. If you are unhappy with those, don't settle. Be willing to make changes, to turn things around for yourself and look for a better life overall. You want to enjoy everything God have given you but you can also challenge yourself to get more out of life. We are all born with a brain, but it is up to you to feed this organ with valuable information and succeed. I agree that some may have talents that others do not, that's a given. However, talents are there because you enable yourself to practice a certain skill that allows you to become great in what you do. Talents will just facilitate and expedite the process of learning that skills, but you still need to practice, no matter what. We are all on the same level when we are born, despite our direct family surroundings and opportunities. Of course, newborns fed with a silver spoon will have access to better education, better opportunities and so much more, unlike the other 99% of the population who do not have that kind of luxury. That doesn't mean that no one on the 99% of the population didn't take initiative on their own and succeeded better than the ones fed with a silver spoon. I have seen so many born in rich families ending up in jail because of drugs use or whatever else. I am aware of some of the reasons why those kind of scenarios happens in rich families but again, it's all about choices you take in your life. You have the control and it is up to you to make the best of everything you have been given in your life. With the right attitude, you can accomplish anything you put your mind into. Don't settle for mediocrity, you are worth way more.

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Cause of Failure and Success

Why some people fail and others succeed can be baffling. Sometimes it may even seem unfair. If our desire to succeed is as strong as theirs, and if we have the added virtues of philosophical refinement and emotional sophistication, why are we not all doing better than they are?

What an incredible difference we could make! And what an inheritance we could leave to the next generation-a wealth of virtue, integrity, and substance with which to build a whole new world, and all because we cared enough to do something with our lives and to put our skills and talents to work.

Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven't planted. Why does opportunity matter if success is innate? How do they earn it? The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity. Do you believe that opportunity provides a possibility of success, a probability of success, or that it's trivial?

I hope this is coming together for you. I still want to go further though. People who believe success is innate see their opportunity as trivial. Of course, people don't stay in one class their entire life. They Define Work Wrong/ The value of a man's position is often determined by the number of people qualified to fill it. Why We just discussed two important terms: success and opportunity. In order to continue our discussion further, we must discuss another, "work." "But success doesn't always come from hard work!

They think failure is final. Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. But, hard work doesn't always equal success. Some people work really hard but fail. They tried and didn't succeed." Failure is a key ingredient in success. Those who don't achieve success most likely quit after their failure. Quitting, of course, is a choice.There are no shortcuts, statistically. The people who don't make it let failure defeat them.

Success is a game of habits. In itself, "success" is a relative term and so its "achievement" is fully dependent upon the habits you put into place that moves you step by step toward the "end" you define for yourself. To be "successful," it becomes a matter of the routine you put into place for yourself. Whenever you are looking outward, for example, it is very clear the difference between those who create positive daily habits for themselves versus the people who let life's waves dictate their day-to-day.

Successful people plan ahead. Failure to prepare is the act of preparing to fail. Spend some time each night, and at the end of each week, reflecting on what it is you've accomplished already and what it is you want to "get done" next. And the next morning, you will be one step ahead.

Successful people do the hard stuff first. That's because hard stuff is, well, "hard. But often times, what moves the needle lies in the unknown. Those who are successful at what they do know this. And instead of shying away from the challenge, they make themselves do these "hard tasks" first--before allowing themselves the luxury of the easy stuff.

They don't want to make others feel bad, or they don't want to sever current or potential friendships, or they don't want to be excluded from future possibilities, or they don't want to be looked down upon, etc.

Successful people are very conscious of how they spend their time. Successful people invest in themselves in terms of time and money. The majority of people don't invest; they spend. They spend the money they earn. Successful people, on the other hand, invest.

Successful people surround themselves with other successful people. Your network is your net worth. The true value of having a network is not access to "things. Successful people study their craft. Unfortunately, there are situations that reward the fundamental metric of time, and people can climb the ladder of "success" by simply staying the course.

Successful people are accountable for their actions. Successful people believe in themselves. To be successful, this is a must. Believe in yourself. That's where it all starts.

Successful people don't separate their job and their "personal life." Their job is their passion, and their passion is their craft. It is not dependent upon time. It is merely a reflection of their own curiosity

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Discovering Your Talents

A talent is a special ability that enables us to easily do something or learn a process. Each and every human being on earth has been endowed with a specific talent. The average person has at least five or six talents which when identified, developed and lead to great success.

We have all been given talents by God to serve each other. Our talents are our means to share our value and display the amazing glory of God. Our talents are our source of earning income and a means to manifest the greatness within us.

We have all been given great talents which should bring us profits when we put them into good use. The more we develop and use our talents, the more skillful and successful we become in the use of it. When we hide our talents, we hide the very thing that will bring us greatness and success in life.

To make the best use of your talent, I recommend you get access to this great book by Dr. Myles Munroe: " Understanding Your Potential" This is a great book filled with information to help you to unleash your potential.

Keys to Discovering Your Talent

So the key to a successful life is to find your talents, focus on developing one talent and becoming the best in the whole world at the use of that talent to provide goods and services to humanity.

The questions you should then be asking yourself are: 

1. What are my talents? 

2. What are the very things that I am good at? 

3. What are the things that I do for fun? 

4. How can I develop one of my talents and make it world class? 

5. What is the best use of my talents? 

6. In which field or industry can I best use my talents? 

7. Who can I partner, connect and associate myself with to help me to find and develop my talents?

You see, the thing is: the more you use your talents, the more you multiply the power of it. Your talent develops and grows into a skill. Talent is your natural gift! But a skill is the development of that natural gift! Skill is the perfection of that natural gift. Skill is what your natural gift has become as a result of consistent hard work on it.

In this world, the more skillful you become the more in-demand you become! And the more in-demand you become the successful you become. Skillful people are uncommon people. Why? They have gained a competitive advantage over their fellows through dedication to the development of their natural talent! So what's the key? The key is understanding and maximizing your potential!

"You were born to rule, govern and dominate in the area of your gifting," said Dr. Myles Munroe. SO you have to find your talents and strive to work hard on it and perfect it into a skill. Once you have developed your talent into a skill, you will see yourself gaining the same competitive advantage like other successful people do!

Find an area where you want to be the best at in your school, workplace, department, industry, town, city, country or continent, then identity the talents within you that you can developed and enable you to become the best in that place. Then all you have to do every day is consistent hard work, perfecting and the development of your talent!

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How to Find the Work You Were Meant to Do

Alex is a published novelist. He was 21 before someone whose opinion he trusted pointed out to him that he could write. He hadn't a clue. He had started a rudimentary journal when he was 8, and a neighborhood newsletter when he was 10. He thought writing was something everyone could do and no big deal.

This happens all too often with talents. Talents are innate; something so easy for you to do you can't remember when you couldn't do it; something you 'can't help doing' so you don't feel it when you do it, and you also think everyone can, they just aren't. Talents are also things that are fun for you to do, almost in the sense of flow - you'd do them even if you weren't getting paid, and in fact they are the hobbies and avocations of many of us. If you cease doing it for a while and start up again, you're immediately back up to speed. 

Knowledge and skills can be acquired, but talents are innate.

Why is this important? In their book, "Now, Discover Your Strengths," Buckingham and Clifton propose the theory that if you work in your strength areas, you can perform consistently and effortlessly at a near perfect level and find great satisfaction. Sounds like heaven on earth, doesn't it? Well, there are ways to get there. Listen up! "Most of us have little sense of our talents and strengths," the authors say. "Guided by our parents, by our teachers, by our managers, and by psychology's fascination with pathology, we become experts in our weaknesses and spend our lives trying to repair these flaws, while our strengths lie dormant and neglected."

Can 2,000,000+ people be wrong? That's how many people were interviewed for the data in this book. From their research, Buckingham and Clifton Buckingham do not support the extreme and extremely misleading contention that "you can play any role you set your mind to," but it did lead to this truth: "Whatever you set your mind to, you will be most successful when you craft your role to play to your signature talents most of the time."

From their research, they came up with the StrengthsFinder profile (you can take it if you buy the book) which will return to you your 5 top "themes." There are 34 themes, and they have such names as -- Empathy, Communicator, WOO (winning people over), Deliberative, Intellection, Significance, Achiever, Activator, and Maximizer.

In my work with clients and their profiles -- I'm a coach -- I've found Peter Drucker to be right on when he said most Americans don't know what their strengths are. "When you ask them," he said, "they look at you with a blank stare, or they respond in terms of subject knowledge, which is the wrong answer." 

Here's an example (used with permission) of a client's profile. He was very unhappy selling insurance, and his profile came back, in this order: Positivity (optimism), WOO (winning others over), Empathy, Communication, Activator. From my experience this man had the most seamless interface with people I've ever experienced. He didn't know the meaning of "cold call." He thought they were "fun." Even without knowing the long definitions of those terms, wouldn't you say this man could talk a bird down out of a tree, and sell ice to an Eskimo? And the Empathy made him sincere and authentic about it. Like everyone else I've worked with, he didn't "believe" his profile, as Drucker said. He said, "You mean my boss was right all the time. I really am good at this?" "Yes," said I; I was giving him e-courses for free, and it had happened so smoothly, I haven't even noticed it.

The solution in his case was to move him to a much bigger playing field. Such talents, after all. He's now in sales, selling a huge ticket item that benefits humanity (the Empathy) and the price tag makes it worthwhile to him, i.e., he can feel it.

Other patterns? I've found that people with Maximizer in their profiles are the most sure their profiles aren't theirs. Maximizers are adamant about treating people as unique individuals, and any sort of categorization (such as an assessment) grates on them. See how it works? Even though with 33,000,000 possible combinations, it is highly unlikely you'd ever see two profiles that were the same. How unique is that?

Maximizer also has shown up in the profiles of the 3 coaches I've done; Maximizer means loving to put polish on the pearl, to make something great into something really superb. It's what they do! Nice trait for a coach, eh?

In the work world, it's one thing to be able to work in your areas of strength, and another to be managed properly or to manage properly. For instance if your top theme is Deliberative, as is Sue's, you can be the one who comes up with all the worst-case-scenarios, but you should not be asked to make quick decisions. You'd also be an effective 'voice of reason' if put on a project team of fast-moving Activators.

Every report I read says that managers need to realize the uniqueness of their reports, and treat them as individuals. If you're managing someone with Strategic, for instance, realize what a treasure you have. This person can sort through all the clutter and find the best route, and see patterns where others see chaos. It's a very special way of thinking that can't be learned or taught.

Talents + skill + knowledge = strengths. So how can you figure out your innate talents if you don't want to buy the book and take the profile? Here are some things to explore:

1. Think about what you liked to do as a child. Talents are innate; they appear early. 
2. Ask your parents what you liked to do as a child. I suggest to clients that they ask their parents "What about me drove you nuts? What drove me nuts about my eldest son was that he was always tinkering - taking apart bikes, watches, putting together models, legos, little pieces everywhere. And what does he do quite happily as an adult? Calibrates $100,000 machines in his job as owner of a custom CD manufacturing plant.
3. Keep in mind that your parents were human, and they had their own "issues." For instance, D. A.'s father considered it effeminate for a man to be a minister, and so he disregarded the traits in his son that made him (eventually) a happy and successful minister.
4. Parents can't recognize what they don't know. A mathematical genius born to two English majors may never get reinforcement for his talents. If you have a child like that, and see it, please find them someone who can affirm and value their talents so they don't feel alone.
5. Think about what you like to do when you have a choice. What would you volunteer to do? What do you do in your spare time? Paula always sneaks off and reads. Two of her themes are Intellection and Learner. She surfs the Internet for information, and is happy at work doing market research and writing reports.
6. "Work like you don't need the money..." -- what would you do even if you weren't paid to do it? You may already be doing it "for free," as I am in writing this article.
7. Flow. What activity do you 'get lost in'. You start doing it -- like working on your car, or empathizing with someone -- and you 'come to' 4 hours later having missed your lunch and your 2 o'clock appointment. What absorbs you fully?
8. What gives you deep satisfaction? If you haven't ever felt "deep satisfaction," (the zone) as many of us haven't, having been forced into certain jobs for various reasons, you'll have to do a little work on yourself to learn to hear that small, still, voice within.

I have another client whose profile is this: Achiever, Focus, Arranger, Command and Self-assurance. This is the profile of someone who likes to be the one in charge, and, yes, when I queried him, he remembered that he was always the pitcher in baseball and always the one to organize the games and get everyone out there. This man had never worked on his own, and is now about halfway to starting his own restaurant. Is he happier? Oh, gosh, yes. Just at the thought of it he's happier, and no, he doesn't want a partner.]

So that's how it works. Buckingham and Clifton are adamant that we need to focus on our strengths and ignore our weaknesses; become "sharp," not "well-rounded." This goes against the grain, goes against SOP, goes against the work world as it is today. But wouldn't you say it's time for a change?

You can get quite good at something that isn't a talent, even very good at something that's not a talent. Tom became a good fundraiser, but at what cost with this profile: Deliberative, Intellection, Strategic, Input, and Achiever. There isn't a "people-skill" in there, and boy was he stressed out.

Take some time to explore what your strengths are. Keep in mind that strengths are not a direct line to a specific career. In the book there are nurses with Achiever, nurses with Empathy, nurses with Focus. And, conversely, everyone who has Relator for a strength is not a nurse.

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