Is It Time to Ask For Help?

Many of us feel disinclined to ask for help. Even asking for directions can require a huge effort. We may be loathe to appear vulnerable or incompetent, telling ourselves, 'I'll be fine, we must be nearly there by now, it will all work out in the end'!

But whilst we may feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness, the reality is it can often be a sign of strength. Appreciating the value of additional support or input can positively influence our chances of success, saving us time and allowing us to maximise our resources. There's nothing weak about doing that!

Here's to recognising that it's time to ask for help.

- Feeling overwhelmed, out of our depth, not sure where to start or how to proceed is an important indicator that it's time to ask for help. Whether we're in a study, work or domestic situation it can be frustrating and futile to fritter increasing amounts of time not knowing where, what or how to begin. Overwhelm can result in anger, frustration and feeling de-motivated, especially if we're new, young or lacking in confidence. If we're unable to determine the way forward we may end up feeling stupid, useless and choose to walk away.

Asking for help from the outset means we potentially start with a clearer overview and directions or instructions from day one. We're able to make notes and continue using any of the channels of communication we've opened, so helping us become more confident about speaking up if and when required.

- There may be areas of our life which really cannot be ignored any longer. A team may be struggling to bond, a disruptive relationship may be causing havoc or staff development may not be as successful as was planned. Outside help may provide a better, more neutral perspective, see things differently and be able to work effectively to bring about positive results.

If our personal relationship is struggling, outside help can be beneficial in the form of relationship counselling. This can be a good decision even when the only option left is to split, facilitating a more respectful resolution, especially when there are children to consider.

- Stress often builds up over time, perhaps being triggered by a catalogue of day-to-day pressures, unhappy mindset or precarious physical wellbeing. Learn to recognise the signs that your stress symptoms are starting to appear. Signs may be poor concentration, accidents and mistakes, not sleeping well, losing your joy in life, each alerting you to the need to start saying 'no', develop better coping strategies and start asking for help.

Counselling and hypnotherapy can be a good way to deal with old unhelpful habits, support good decision-making and introduce effective stress management strategies. Find time for fun, things that you're good at and commit to taking regular breaks.

- What about those occasions when we're already doing too much, yet still agree to take on more, rather than say 'no'! Such behaviour can come from a fear of appearing incapable, inefficient, not coping or we don't want to disappoint or risk losing a client. We may want to do it all, be keen to be involved in every step of the process, perhaps not trust others to do as good a job or prefer to micro-manage everything.

Asking for help allows others to feel included, part of the team and so enable them to develop and even suggest better working practices. Or there may be some real value in forming alliances with other associated businesses and offering a more comprehensive menu of goods and services, a win/win for all involved.

You gain by having additional time for other, perhaps more important things, or free up some time for fun activities. It might be viable to pay for help with domestic chores, like gardening, ironing or cleaning or engage business expertise to support your accountancy, social media, admin needs; all could be money well spent.

- Perfectionism is often a barrier to asking for help. Easing our stress levels through constant checking may bring its own temporary reassurance, but it's often short-lived. Learning to move on from one piece of work when it's finished, good enough, can save a lot of time and stress. Besides that, going over something repeatedly often means we become de-sensitised and word-blind to any flaws or errors. A fresh pair of eyes can often zone in on something straight away.

- Trust other people's areas of expertise. If you know someone who's already practiced or familiar with what you're attempting to do invite them to share their experiences with you. Chances are they'll be only too happy to help and you may be able to reciprocate at another time. Alliances like this can bring advantages to all involved.

Our business skills or personal capabilities may benefit from the introduction of a coach, trainer or mentor to provide guidance, motivation and accountability. Soliciting help can move us out of our comfort zone and take our personal and professional development to the next level. When our aim is to grow and develop it's often important to ask for help.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Is-It-Time-to-Ask-For-Help?&id=9910625

Why You Must Get Rid Of False Expectations

A fulfilled life is a result of successive complete and fulfilled days. If you are going to have a fruitful day, it is important that you have the day properly outlined and planned out. Of the many things you need in the right place are expectations: expectations for a positive fruition for plans and objectives. These are expectations we impose on ourselves and are sometimes imposed on us by other people.

Expectations have had a great bearing on how much I have accomplished, they have been the core of my belief and trust that things will happen as desired. Because I have been able to live each day successfully and have accomplished each day according to expectation, life has been a bundle of joy.

However, it has been of utmost importance to define and distinguish between realistic and unrealistic expectations. These can also be termed as true and false expectations. It is worth mentioning that, although truthful expectations help yield positive results, false expectations are a constraint to fulfillment of any endeavor.

While brooding over positive expectations is fundamental, it is of equal importance that false expectations are gotten rid of if achievement is going to be attained. My experience and research has identified an inexhaustible number of false expectations, this helped me get rid of all such hopes. Here now are some common false expectations and why it was important that I get rid of them.

The expectation that everyone should like me.

The expectation that the world must be fair.

The expectation that all my days are supposed to be sunny, that is, a storm will never come.

The expectation of never being anxious or depressed.

The expectation of always being in the driving seat- always in control and always knowing what is going to happen next.

The expectation that people will be perfect.

False expectations made me take up a level of control that I really did not have in given circumstances. This led to considerable failures and disappointments along the way. This denied me the chance to learn from others because, in my mind, I was on top of things and yet was not. I did not let those who knew better control things. Nonetheless, those days are gone and I know better now. I now know only to control the things I can and to let other players act their roles.

Disappointments literally make the heart sick. False expectations when fully mature breed disappointments which in turn sicken the heart. Such emotions are never good for anything, worse still for success and fruition of goals. There is a predisposition in man to repeatedly feel disappointed when their hopes are not met.

False hopes are heavy loads to shoulder. It does not really matter if they are really personal or about others, they are simply heavy to carry. You may want to tone down those expectations because they place unrealistic demands on ourselves, colleagues, etc. A tendency to act as if others "should" just live and give in to our expectations is a common feature of false hopes. They "Should" just know what my desires are is bad for business.

Further, false expectations cause the hopeful individual to have some preconceived blueprint of how things should be without really considering others. People develop an "if- then" syndrome which dictates how things should be done. This is actually a very common erroneous assumption.

To hold on to false expectations is to obstruct the knack to pursue what matters most in life. For example, those who expect NEVER to make a mistake won't actually take any form of a risk in life. And since they will not take risks, it is impossible to step out and pursue the things they care for.

Unfortunately, some expectations are not feasible. They are simply not practical. Often, they might appear like reasonable and viable expectations but are in fact not. From a distance, they may even give the impression of being fair, realistic and reasonable but in reality, such prospects cannot truly be met. Worse still, such expectations only create additional problems, far worse than they solve. For instance, the expectation that young children should always be tip-top in terms of their behavior is far-fetched. A colleague of mine shared his experience, "I had set all the appropriate limits and rules, and for some time they were all fairly-behaved children. But in my efforts and quest to further enforce this expectation, I experienced disappointments, and only roused conflict with the kids besides other problems.

False expectations are always grounds for loss because they set you and other people up for disappointment. Reality is that, there is no life without expectations, however, I choose to hold on to realistic and measurable expectations.

What is true is that I cannot please everyone nor can I make everyone like me. It can't just happen, I will be naïve in trying to make it happen.

To even start wishing I could control all the aspects of my world in order to ensure things function consistently in the most harmonious way is like fighting the wind. The world cannot be all fair and I can only control so much. The rest is about accepting and moving on.

Well, false expectations almost made a stiff naked person out of me, I was becoming rigid to the opinions and inputs of others. I could leave no room for change for situations or let other have a go at matters.

All in all, to get rid of false expectations, it is imperative to arrest all unrealistic hopes, thoughtfully and with seriousness. It will be key to reflect on the potential effect of the expectation and practice consideration for others as they are built. Being flexible and allowing for external impact is the way to go for getting rid of false expectations.

False expectations are a menace and are unhealthy, they should be gotten rid of no matter how hard it may be. It is possible to create a whole set of beliefs, motivations, etc. that will assist you and others.

Until next time,

Your friend,

Felipe

Learn why getting rid of false expectations is fundamental if achievement is going to be attained.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-You-Must-Get-Rid-Of-False-Expectations&id=9567364

Connect To Life

As we go through life there is one thing that is certain and that's change. We live day by day with the intention making things the best we can for that day. Life can be so routine and unapologetic. Getting over the hump can be just that and depending on the hump it may be a struggle. The point is that things can be so routine and mechanical. We understand what needs to be done and we do it. A routine it's just that simple. This is far from a bad thing. To do a good thing over and over helps to develop excellence. Excellence is something we all seek. You will eventually succeed at your endeavor if you continue to press. If you live long enough you will experience many stormy days and many days of sunshine. They are both the same just on different ends of the spectrum. Learn to be thankful for both. Every struggle will bring forth positive results. To know that you succeeded because of the work you put in is a gratifying feeling. Nothing can compete with that feeling. That feeling fuels the seed of conviction.

Victories and failures are dependent of each other. You have a deeper respect for winning when you know how hard it was to reach that pinnacle. Routine is a great thing, but be careful not to become routine. It's an easy thing to do. Some of us call it pacing ourselves. Nothings wrong with keeping the pace but you will gain more when you are stepping up the pace. The harder you work, the more you gain and a brighter picture of what you are and who you are becomes clearer. Perspectives of what and how you failed and succeeded will be many. Routine can have you spinning your wheels. Let consistency be your routine. Consistently find ways to improve on every facet of your life physical and spiritual. Working hard for the sake of it does not bring about the best results for your efforts. Hard work is essential but working smart is just as important. Know what your strengths are and expound on them. Your weaknesses if focused on can become strengths also. How you apply pressure either way will determine your success or failure.

I am struggling to keep from writing this but be who you are. You know what fuels you and you understand exactly what impedes you. No one knows you better than you. So yes, be who you are because you understand who you are. These clichés actually have some worth. You will find that you can actually go as far as you would like to go. The only real roadblock is self. We tend to get in our own way. It will never be easy, but you are worth it. When you connect with your inner self, you connect with a source that not only you can trust but has your best interest in every aspect of your life. If you obey your conscious and follow your heart, you will be connecting with one who made you. With these faculties in place, you have an anchor to put down whenever you feel you are moving in the wrong direction. They can also serve as your compass. By allowing your conscious and your inner self the space to act accordingly, whenever there is a question about what, why and how you are doing this or that you get an honest and sincere answer. When you can correct yourself, you are in turn correcting the world. You transform and you transform you connect to life. Connect as much as possible.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Connect-To-Life&id=8612955

Great Feedback Depends On Encouragement

Author, Ted Engstrom, wrote a story that happened many years ago at the University of Wisconsin to a group of extraordinary young men who had the "ability to put the English language to its best use." These students were essayists, novelists, and poets. They "met regularly to read and critique each other's work."

Engstrom said, they "were merciless dissecting the most minute literary expression into a hundred pieces. They were heartless, tough, even mean in their criticism." They "called themselves the Stranglers." They strangled all the hopes and dreams they each had.

The young women at the university with literary talent decided to begin their own club calling it the "Wranglers". "They read their works to one another but criticism was much softer, more positive, more encouraging. Sometimes, there was almost no criticism at all. Every effort, even the most feeble one, was encouraged."

Study Done 20 Years Later:

An alumnus from the university, twenty years later, did a "study of his classmates' careers". He noticed " not one" of the Stranglers made any "literary accomplishment".

On the other hand, "from the Wranglers had come six or more successful writers, some of national renown such as Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, who wrote The Yearling."

In both groups the education and talent were equal. Ted Engstrom "concluded, the Stranglers strangled, while the Wranglers highlighted the best, not the worst."

What was the difference between the Stranglers and the Wranglers evaluations?

The Stranglers demoralized their members sucking out all their creativity by criticizing everything they did wrong. They beat each other down. Left no one standing!

The Wranglers on the other hand, built on the strengths of their members. They encouraged, inspired, motivated and helped their members to continue developing and creating their writing projects. Honest sincere compliments lift others up encouraging them to want to continue the work they are doing.

At Toastmasters positive evaluations are given:

As a Toastmaster member since 2009, we learn to help other members improve their communication, public speaking and leadership skills. At Toastmasters constructive feedback is given on prepared manual speeches. Constructive feedback is given in a positive friendly atmosphere. Evaluators listen carefully to the speaker they are evaluating and tell them what they have done well to build the speakers confidence, and then make one suggestion that they can improve. Every person needs positive encouragement to motivate and inspire them to the next level of their journey.

Successful Leaders Are Wranglers:

Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay cosmetics said, "Never giving criticism without praise is a strict rule for me. No matter what you are criticizing, you must find something good to say... Criticize the act, not the person."

Harvey Mackay, businessman and author, says, "Successful leaders.. understand that results reflect their management skills. Constantly belittling or blaming means that either the employee isn't a good fit or that the criticism isn't being delivered effectively... Positive results start with a positive environment in which employees know that they will be treated with respect even when they make mistakes."

Words have power:

The words you say to others are powerful. Think before you say them!

What 5 ways can you encourage and empower others to be good wranglers/ good finders to family, friends, and fellow employees?

1) Show them you care about them and want to learn about them. Ask them about their families, their hopes, challenges, and dreams.

2) Matt McWilliams, online marketing expert, says "Use the four magic words: I believe in you. Take the time to tell your team, your friends, your family, and your followers that you believe in your abilities and that you are confident that they will succeed."

3) Written words of praise last a lifetime!

When did you last thank someone who helped you in some way? (Your mentor, parent, grandparent, coach, teacher, boss.) Did you write them a note of thanks, or send them a text to tell them thank them? If they are no longer with you on earth, write a blog on the net memorializing their work with you.

President Abraham Lincoln when he died had 8 newspaper clippings in his pocket on the positive things written about him during his re-election campaign. He had read and re-read these newspaper clippings many times, to remind him of the nice things they had written about him. During his presidency he was maligned many times by the newspapers.

When Mark Eklund, a young soldier, died in Vietnam, he had two well -worn sheets of paper in his pocket that he had read and re-read many times. On the two sheets were "all the good things" his classmates had written about him when he was in the eighth grade. ("All the Good Things" by Sister Helen P. Mrosla.) Written words of praise last a lifetime!

4) When you speak about your employees, your children, your spouse or sibling in public, praise them to others. When you are speaking to a team member at work and are talking about another team member say something positive about them. Build others up by building on their strengths.

5) Chris Martin, Author Development Specialist at LifeWay Christian Resources, say, "Listen to others' concerns and ask how you can help. One of the best ways to earn the ears of others is by learning to use your own. When you use your ears and listen to the concerns of others, you tell them that what preoccupies them matters to you, and even if you can't do anything about it you care." So stop talking and listen to others.

Leaders are wranglers and good finders who build on the strengths of their employee/ team members, family, and friends. They show respect, increase the self-esteem of others by helping them develop through their strengths, and building on them. Just like Toastmasters, - leaders who are wranglers/ good finder begin with, what their team member/employee did well, and explain, and demonstrate how to correct something that has been done incorrectly.

The "Wranglers" built on the strengths of their members. They encouraged, inspired, motivated and helped their members to continue developing and creating their writing projects.

In all of life, people need praise and encouragement to improve, to be inspired, to learn, and grow. When President Lincoln and Mark Eklund, a young soldier died, they had with them well-worn "treasured" sheets with " words of praise" to them.

Words of praise last a lifetime!

Begin today to be a "Wrangler Good Finder Leader " who encourages and inspires their people to success.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Great-Feedback-Depends-On-Encouragement&id=9752160

10 Behaviors Of The Happiest Individuals

Why are some individuals delighted all the time? The happiest individuals have practices that raise the chances of feeling happy. Unhappy people have practices that lead to less preferable sensations. It can be that basic. If you're not as happy as you'd like, take a look at your habits and practices.

Those that are happy share numerous qualities. Embracing these same qualities will yield positive results.

Practices that lead to joy are enjoyable to carry out:

1. Optimism. Undoubtedly, if you think good things will occur, it's far more likely that you'll be happy. Expecting the worst not does anything to improve your state of mind! Realistically, it's not even crucial to expect a favorable result, only to think that everything will be okay.

Optimism is also a form of belief in yourself. If you think that you can deal with any situation, you can be positive and have the psychological freedom to be happy.

2. Altruism. Doing things for others offers numerous benefits. You can see firsthand that you have a lot to be grateful for. You can feel great about yourself for assisting others. You have a great reason to leave your home. You also feel helpful and useful.

Make a list of a minimum of 3 ways you can assist others that will also suit your schedule.

3. Gratitude. Do you recognize how many fantastic things and individuals you already have in your life? By focusing on the things you don't have, you're making yourself dissatisfied and unhappy. Experiencing gratitude assists in developing sensations of joy.

4. An exciting future. Maximum happiness requires that you have something to eagerly anticipate. It can be finishing college, having a child, retirement, a getaway, or a hot date on Saturday night. Have a couple of goals that give you a reason to be delighted. Have goals and objectives that are both short-term and long-term.

5. Success. Spend some time doing tasks that you're good at. It feels great to do well at something. It does not need to be a competitive event. You can hit baseballs at the batting cage or play the guitar and feel excellent about yourself.

Make a list of the things you are really good at and aim to spend at least a little time each day doing them.

6. Durability. It's difficult to prevent challenging times. Sooner or later, something will happen that threatens your development, success, or happiness.

Durability is the capability to continue forging ahead. Some people have a flair for making challenges seem bigger than they truly are. Others are able to maintain their composure and continue making progress.

7. Realistic expectations. When your expectations are overly optimistic, you'll consistently experience disappointment. When your expectations are regularly low, you will not feel very positive. Neither is a recipe for happiness.

8. Forgiveness. How can you be happy while holding a grudge? Forgiving others quickly and easily makes happiness possible. You might feel that some individuals don't deserve forgiveness, but exactly what is the alternative? Making yourself miserable and unhappy.

9. Authenticity. Spending your time pretending to be something you're not is a challenge to your self-esteem. Joy is allusive if you do not feel comfortable being yourself. Allow your individuality to shine through.

10. Presence. Thinking about the failures of the past can lead to feelings of regret. Thoughts of the unknown future can lead to anxiety. Keep your mind in the present if you want to experience happiness regularly.

There's absolutely nothing complex about happiness. Forgive others, be yourself, offer of yourself, and be grateful for the important things and people you already have. Having a reliable set of habits will lead to feeling more happiness.

http://ezinearticles.com/?10-Behaviors-Of-The-Happiest-Individuals&id=9528291

Message From the Universe: Appearances Can Be Deceiving!

"Do you want to know what the single toughest thing about figuring out time and space is? About finally making progress by leaps and bounds? The one thing that would heal every broken heart and vanquish every emotional pain? That would clear the way for infinite abundance, perfect health, and unlimited happiness?

Not relying on appearances.

Just stop it.

You so can, 

The Universe"

Appearances can be deceiving, so avoid basing all your upcoming decisions on these factors. If you want to trust someone, trust yourself. You are the only one who can make changes, especially changes from within. Don't expect the outside world to do anything for you, because no one really cares. Everyone have their own problems to deal with. So if you want abundance, perfect health and ultimate happiness, make sure you do everything in your power to obtain it. Starting with having the right thoughts is a requirement to making all this work well but never forget to put in the action behind these thoughts. If you eat fast food, do not expect to have the perfect health, which will ultimately stop you from being happy because of how you look, which inadvertently will hinder on your desire to have abundance in your life because of your physical condition. Everything in life is interrelated, so don't expect to do one thing and it not having a direct impact on your life further down the road. You reap what you sow, so just make sure that you come out of it a winner. There is no mystery in life, even though it seems like nothing is really straightforward like you would wish it was. It is not because you will work very hard that you will see positive results from your efforts. Sometimes, it can work against you but you shouldn't let that bring you down. In some cases, the route that you took when working very hard wasn't the optimal one and something else is needed to make it a success.

When you hear about someone reaching ultimate wealth, you look at it as being an overnight success. This is how it appears to you, but as you and I know well, overnight for you means something totally different for that successful person. I am sure that you are not ignorant to a point where you think that overnight is possible. Even with incredible and desirable luck, you can't really accomplish this kind of ultimate success in less than 5 to 7 years. Lots get put into the required work and time and sacrifices to make all of what you see happen or exist. That is why so many just give up, regardless of the potential of their idea. Many will not even try because they are too afraid to fail, hence, if I don't try, there is NO chance I will ever fail, so the fear goes away. For others, when they see that the going gets tough, they feel the journey isn't for them, so they just go back to doing what is safe. And for the rest of the 3% of the population who do cross that uncomfortable zone, that journey of insurmountable obstacles, the stress and anxiety, the loneliness, the constant fear looming over their mind on a daily basis, their success is well deserved when they lead the other 97% who decided to give up. So you say overnight success? I digress. Go out there and look for that overnight success entrepreneur and ask them questions about their path to success. You will not be surprised of their answers.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Appearances-Can-Be-Deceiving!&id=9466289

BE the ORIGINAL YOU!

BE the original YOU!

The well-stocked super markets, the restaurants, the movies and the promos through the vibrant technology, seem to be brainwashing most to do things that only help in accumulating. Later on, most realize that all that was an illusion and that accumulating more and more leads to chaos which could disturb our cosmos. Most seem to be in stress & strain running after a lifestyle as defined by the society rather than living a life as defined by life itself.

ASSIMILATE TO ACCUMULATE

The earth takes in the rain and gives it up as water. The water is accumulated underground and then given up on searching and digging for it. The assimilation leads to accumulation.

Accumulation of thoughts and deeds are like a fruit ripening. The assimilation of nutrients leads to an accumulation that starts to overflow. The fruit ripens and is ready for harvesting.

Assimilation of positive things leads to positive results. Assimilation of the negative can lead to accumulation that is harmful like rain in old tyres becoming breeding grounds for mosquitoes.

Assimilate and evaluate before you accumulate to validate your accumulation.

Get out of the Illusion of living what the society wants to see - just BE the original YOU!

BE THE BEST or BE YOUR BEST

Imagine the bitter gourd competing with the cucumber just because they are vegetables. Or a pumpkin with watermelon because they are from similar looking creepers. Don't you think they will be dejected and rejected?

Our society seems to be obsessed with comparison, which makes them pretend to be somebody else. Are we trying to have more Steve Jobs who come out well in business or Aishwarya Rai who come out well on screen in whatever role they take? Where is the reality?

Be it Steve Jobs or Aishwarya Rai, they would like to be respected as themselves, not just for their roles. Unfortunately, we like to accomplish and possess, that which is promoted. Are then these things which produce the stress and the strain? We create tensions for ourselves uselessly in the battle to be the best, instead of bettering ourselves to be our best! Just be the Best YOU!

BE - DO - HAVE

Mohammed Ali the boxer, won matches and got name and fame, as he believed that he was the greatest. He actually worked on this. When he got up, he read a banner on the ceiling, which read, "I am the Greatest".

After reading 10 to 20 times, which made him spring up from the bed instead of just getting up, he stood in front of the mirror on top of which was another banner "I am the Greatest!

Now every time he read it, it got multiplied by two, as there were two Mohammads - one self and the other the reflection. After this, his brushing of teeth was brisk rather than the usual lazy one, which made them to gleam.

After his bath, when he opened his closet, on both sides of his door were two photographs of his, above which was the statement - "I am the Greatest."

With such positive deposits, Mohammed was able to walk out of his house 'Feeling Great'. This feeling converted into 'Being Great' as this helped him to go ahead 'Doing things in a Great manner'.

If in our sleep, when we dream that we are falling from a mountain, our thinking so produces an action, which throws our hands and legs up into the air. Accordingly, if our thinking produces our action, our thinking has to be powerfully positive for powerful Punches and Impact in life!

Thus, when you strongly and positively start believing in yourself, and start working positively on those things, which support your soul oriented goal, your achievement is guaranteed. A bank honours a cheque only when the balance is positive thus, you crystalize your dreams only when your belief in yourself, that you can achieve is positive, when compared to your negative thoughts and the conditioning by the 'NO' sayers, who give all reasons why you will not be able to achieve.

You are born to win but conditioned to live like a loser. Conditioning, comparison and criticism have eaten into our confidence, commitment and the like. Simply accept and respect yourself, accept and be the original YOU - to celebrate life

http://ezinearticles.com/?BE-the-ORIGINAL-YOU!&id=9394298

Thoughts Are Powerful!

Do you believe you are what you think? Let's test the idea. When you think about de-cluttering your personal life by freeing yourself from over-eating, over-spending, over-scheduling, over-stressing and over-committing, what thoughts come to your mind? If your thoughts are positive and you get excited about simplifying your personal life, it is because you feel powerful and are expecting positive results. But, if you have thoughts of dread and defeat, it is because you feel powerless and are expecting the results to be negative.

When your thoughts are positive about a particular situation your feelings will follow in a positive way. The same is true with negative thoughts. If you think negatively your feelings will follow suit. Most people's thoughts are subconscious. The actual thoughts are not actually put into words. For example, most people do not say to themselves, "Today, I chose to think negatively about myself and today I chose to be a very unhappy person."

The only way to correct negative thoughts is to learn how to become aware of them. Because thoughts are often subconscious, it is not so easy to see the problems. If you don't see problems, then you won't believe there are problems, therefore the motivation to change is slim to none.

"People are their own worst enemy." How many times have we heard that and what does it really even mean? In reality, very few people buy into the idea that our thoughts are powerful. Because of this, gaining control over thoughts and thinking is not a high priority on to-do lists. Negative thoughts can be an ongoing source of problems for people. It keeps people from exploring opportunities that could greatly benefit their lives. The negative thoughts poison relationships, both professionally and personally, it also creates a victim mentality, which is very emotionally harmful and exhausting.

So how does a person become aware of their thoughts and then weed out the thoughts that sabotage best intentions?

Awareness is critical. Become aware that your thoughts are negative and half the battle is won. You admit there is a need for change.

Get the best information for your situation. Gather information so you have multiple choices when it is time to make decisions. We make the best decisions when we gather the best information.

Use your best thinking not just the easiest thinking. Spend time investigating what is really going on. Does your interpretation of the situation match the reality of the situation? Is the person trying to harm you? Are your past thoughts interfering with your current relationship?

It is important to switch your perception. Instead of your glass always seeming half empty, start looking at your glass as mostly full.

Understand positive thinking starts with positive self-talk. The types of unspoken thoughts running through your head will influence how you think. Positive thinking does not mean being unaware of unpleasant situations going on in your world. It merely means you tackle unpleasant things from a more positive position. You have not given up hope that the best outcome could happen.

There are many health benefits when you change from being a negative thinker to a positive thinker. Researchers agree some of these benefits are lower rates of depression, lower levels of stress, increased lifespan and better psychological and physical well-being.

Becoming a positive thinker will not happen overnight. If you practice being a positive thinker every day you will cross over into being a positive person. You will learn to be less critical and more accepting. Begin being more positive today. Quit saying "I am not going to get any better at this" and start saying "I will give it another try!"

https://ezinearticles.com/?Thoughts-Are-Powerful!&id=9301617

How Do You Respond To Adversity?

We all face adversity in our lives. For the most part, we can’t choose what troubles come our way. But, we can choose how to respond to these troubles. We can let them consume us and make us miserable, we can let them harden us and become angry at life and the world in general, or we can learn to make the best of adversity, seeing the proverbial glass half-full and not allowing it to get us down.

That is the great thing about life. We can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we respond to things. Many times, if we respond to an event positively, positive results often times occur. On the other hand, if we respond to an event negatively, a negative result often times occurs. The key then, is to learn to respond to adversity in a positive way. But how do we do this effectively? Here are 3 ways to look at adversity so that you can respond to it more favorably.

Adversity Teaches Us About Ourselves

When troubling times happen, we can choose to run and hide or we can embrace the issue, look within and learn about ourselves. Sadly, many of us run and hide. This is what makes adversity so difficult for many. We allow it to take control of our lives and we in turn live in fear. If you want to end this cycle, you need to do something that is going to sound scary to many of you: face the adversity head on.

When you face adversity head on, you learn about yourself and the issues surrounding the adversity. When I was in college and for a few years afterwards, I got myself into a good bit of credit card debt. I would tell myself I was going to stop spending and start paying off my debt. But the cycle of me telling this to myself and my out of control spending continued for months. It wasn’t until I decided to actually face the adversity that I was able to overcome it. I had to look within and see that I was depressed and suffering from low self-esteem to find the reason as to why I was overspending.

Once I faced my adversity and dug deep inside of me, I was then able to overcome the adversity I was facing. Trust me, I know it can be scary to look deep within ourselves, but many times, that is where the problem lies. Until you are courageous enough to face that fear, you will continue to face adversity.

Adversity Is A Great Teacher

We can learn a lot when we face adversity. While we all want to be successful, there is a lot to be learned from failing. Unfortunately, from a very young age we are taught that failure is bad. As a result many of us go through life with a constant fear of failing. We need to change this outlook on failing and embrace failing. Failing is a good thing.

The best boss I ever had encouraged me to fail. He believed that we fail because we are trying something new. When we are trying something new, we are pushing ourselves and growing as a person. You can’t grow and become a better person if you are always staying in your comfort zone. Learn to step outside your comfort zone and grow as a person. Yes you will probably fail. But look at it as a learning opportunity and not so much as time wasted.

Adversity Leads To Opportunity and Success

When bad things happen to us, we either wallow in despair or we can take the adversity and turn it into a positive. Many times, if we change our outlook on an adversity and think outside of the box, we can turn that adversity into an opportunity for success.

At one point in my dating life, I became frustrated. Many first dates never lead to a second date. I wanted to find love, but it felt like I was just floating along, lost at sea. After a particularly bad date, I was riding the subway back home and had a revelation. I wasn’t lost at sea as I previously thought. All of these failed dates are simply getting me closer and closer to meeting the love of my life.

It’s the same idea that Edison used when inventing the light bulb. He failed many times, but after each failure, he was able to tweak his design and come a little closer to success. Eventually I met the love of my life. Had I not changed my outlook, who knows where I would be today.

Final Thoughts

Adversity is going to happen throughout your life. If you can learn to react to it positively, you can make adversity a much less scary thing. For me, it is much easier to look within myself now because I’ve already done it and it wasn’t that bad. As a result, adversity doesn’t have the same crippling effect on me as it once did.

Similarly, if we can learn to accept failure and think outside of the box, we can turn adversity into growing opportunities and potentially more success down the road. Remember, life is all about choices. You cannot choose what happens to you, but you can choose how you react to those things. Learn to react positively and you will find that adversity isn’t as scary of a thing as it once was.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/how-do-you-respond-to-adversity

The Law of Cause and Effect

            

The law of cause and effect teaches that for every action there is an equal reaction.

You can use this law to your benefit if you understand what actions produce positive results.

By having such knowledge you will only cause positive effects in your life.

When people complain that their life is unhappy, this is because they caused such life. The cause was their negative state of mind.

There are broad and small causes to every effect. Everything starts with your mind therefore you can say that every effect was partially or completely caused by your state of mind.

For every specific effect there is a specific cause. For example, if your business is not profitable, it means that you did not provide enough value. You are paid equally for the value you create. If you hold something back and do not give everything you can, some profits will be held back from you too.

Some people want to be successful but they refuse to give everything they can to succeed. They refuse to get into good habits, learn new skills and create value. That is surely not going to bring them success.

You cannot get anything for free, everything comes with price.

If you think you are doing everything right but you still don’t see positive effects, it could be because you are outgrowing your past mistakes.

Maybe in the past you were negative and now you are still suffering negative effects that you caused. With time those negative effects will disappear and you will be left only with good effects.

The law of cause and effect also explains that you should never do something to others that you do not want to experience yourself. Because if you treat others unfairly, others will treat you exactly the same way. “What goes around, comes around.”

It is easy to tell which causes will bring good results, and which will bring negative ones. Every good cause will produce positive results. If you put all your heart into your work, you will be paid abundantly for that. If you try to find shortcuts or produce poor results because of your attitude, then you will be poorly paid.

Some people misunderstand the law of cause and effect and cannot realise why they are not successful although they work hard. This is because working hard does not produce any value. It only drains your energy and makes you struggle. That, in turn, produces poor results.

Working hard is the worst way to work. You should enjoy your work and put your heart into it, produce value with love. This is exactly opposite to the hard work and struggle. The more enjoyment, energy and heart you will put into your work, the more successful you will become.

That is why pursuing passion is the best way to live. You will effortlessly create value if you are doing what you love.

Also, if you want to be very successful, you should try to cause positive effects that many people will benefit from. The more people you can benefit from what you create, the more successful you will become.

You will notice that whenever you create something “to the highest good for all”, the less obstacles you will experience. It will be as though you are completely in the flow and everyone is there to help you.

The law of cause and effect is especially clearly seen in money matters. Whenever you spend your money with the scarcity in mind, you will receive money slower or no money at all. Whenever you spend money with faith that more is coming in, the quicker you will receive even more than you spent.

If you donate money with the hope that your donation will improve someone’s life, you will be returned much more than you have donated.

If someone is treating you unfairly, but you always respond fairly, you will only be rewarded. Maybe not instantly, but later on something will happen in your life that will compensate you for your fairness.

Whereas the person that wronged you will be wronged at some point too. The law of cause and effect makes no exceptions.

Whenever you are about to take some action, try to quickly assess if that action will bring positive or negative effect to your life.

Therefore if you are about to undertake some project, but you feel lazy, you can ask yourself if, working in such state of mind, will produce positive results. This will save you from poor performance.

The more positive actions you take, the more successful your will become. It is better to take less actions, but to make every single action perfect.

If you take many mediocre actions it will result in poor results and no success. The law of cause and effect never fails.

Conclusion

The law of cause and effect can change your life dramatically only if you understand the effects your actions will bring. It is easy to understand which causes will produce good results because every positive cause will always bring positive effect.

You should not worry if you still get negative results although you take only positive actions. These are only consequences of your past mistakes. You will gradually eliminate such causes and only positive results will be evident in your life.

http://simonarich.com/formula-for-success