Showing posts with label progress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label progress. Show all posts

The 3 Requirements to Level Up Your Success

For the majority of us, success doesn't come by accident. Success happens because of a chain of events. Though the word success may be a subjective thing, the words achievement and progress are not. In order to reach success, whatever it means to you, you must achieve and progress. It's easy to lose focus and motivation especially in the down times so I want to give you my trick that has helped me stay focused on my success over the years. I learned these through my martial arts training and have been applying them to my health, businesses, and relationships. I call them my 3 requirements to level up and reach success.

Motivation, drive and focus crumble when the greater vision is lost or doubt or something negative grabs your attention pulling you away from your goals. I've found this happens because the connection to your purpose was broken. The first step here is to refurbish your purpose. What are you thriving for? Be specific.

For example, this article has two main purposes. Number one, I really hope these three tips help people to get back on track toward reaching their goals and success. Secondly, it helps to get my name out there. Why is this important to me? So perhaps I could help as many people as possible in achieving their successes.

Define what your purpose is. Write it down and know it's okay if it evolves over time. As you reach levels of success, you want to adjust your purpose accordingly but, by stating your purpose and knowing it gives you a direction where to put your focus and apply your effort.

Once you have your purpose you need to get obsessed with it. Obsession is a powerful tool to keep the fuel in the tank, foot on the gas and do what you have to keep pushing through. Obsession glues you to your daily tasks.

What are you doing every day? Why is what you're doing important? Re-confirm your goals daily until you become obsessed with your goals.

Finally, you have to get committed. As a teacher of the martial arts for over 10 years I've found people have to become obsessed in order to truly get committed.

Knowing your purpose comes first. You have to know what you're committing yourself to. I hear personal development experts all the time saying you have to commit. Commit, commit, commit! Commit to your goals! But, they miss the purpose thing. How do you know if you're setting the right goals for yourself if you don't have your purpose down? Which means you may be committing to the wrong thing, that you're not obsessed about and you can't get obsessed about because you know in the back of your mind that it's not what you want to achieve.

Leveling up your game and your success isn't about creating habits. It isn't about creating goals to check off the list. It's about making success a daily requirement and knowing exactly where to aim your efforts. Know your purpose, get obsessed with your purpose and now you're going to get committed to your purpose. Now you have a real foundation to build real ideal goals for yourself.

It's easier to read the map when you already know where you're going and where you're starting from.

If you can't get obsessed with a purpose you gave yourself then it's probably not your purpose. Don't take what somebody else is doing and confuse yourself about having to or wanting to do the same thing the exact same way. Here's an exercise I do and I have my students do to find what your true purpose is.

Turn off the videos, close the books and block out any outside influences for about 2 weeks. Go somewhere secluded in a natural environment and spend 2 weeks with just yourself and your thoughts. To locate your purpose you need to break off outside influences.

Anytime you're falling off track just go reconnect with your purpose. Leveling up is not about what motivates you. Motivation wears off. Drive and obsession don't wear off. What you're obsessed with you'll be committed to.


https://ezinearticles.com/?The-3-Requirements-to-Level-Up-Your-Success&id=9848248

Turning Difficulty Into Purpose


DIFFICULTY has no purpose in our lives until it becomes a purpose. Think about it. Difficulty will otherwise cause us to be frustrated and miserable if we don't agree to be motivated by it.

The test comes when we're next tempted to lose our cool. Not that turning difficulty into purpose is anything about perfection; it certainly can be about progress.

This is about the gospel power latent in our everyday lives. By latent I mean dormant. It remains latent as long as we go back to our habitual responses of frustration and resentment in response to difficulty. But this latent gospel power is unleashed with spectacular effectiveness when we face our difficulty and make it our purpose; to accept our life, especially the ugly bits.

This is centrally about accepting the lives we've been given. It's about debunking the silent wishes to have another life, or another person's life.

It's about making the most of the life we have - making our purpose to live our lives for the quest of our purpose.

The moment we begin to truly accept the life we have, including what perplexes us, we enter chaos with a newfound peace. We no longer need to resolve anything unless we resolve to make situations better because we can.

This is a wisdom we can apply with great effect to any facet of our lives.

As we accept a thing we cannot change, suddenly there is gospel power in our lives to live with the conundrum. And often the next step is God's healing grace, as the miracle of acceptance falls over us. All for a life that turned its difficulty into its very purpose.



https://ezinearticles.com/?Turning-Difficulty-Into-Purpose&id=9755226

What Do I Do With My Fear?

Two Woman and One Man Looking at the Laptop

Self-improvement can start when I set a specific goal for myself, which I wish to achieve within a finite time frame. The first requirements are commitment and continuity. The volume of enthusiasm I show in the initial stages evaporates with time. Once I lose that steam, I slow down. But my expectations of getting quicker results might force me to take shortcuts which eventually fail. Frustration often makes me change goals, hoping to find an easier and softer one. That doesn't happen anyway. Now I become cynic, negative and wither away. What exactly is ailing me?

Present continuous - Key to progress

"I have achieved many things in the past. I have many years of experience in my field. I have been the best player in my field". This negative approach blocks my progress. "I have always failed in the past. I am a failure now. I am sure I will fail in the future". This approach is sure to land me in a state of psychological and emotional paralysis.

Acceptance

Acceptance of my present state with no prejudice is perhaps the first step to self-improvement. I need to make a list of my strengths, limitations, and liabilities. The first parameter could be imagination, innovation, focus, hard work, smart work, etc. My limitations could be related to my grammar, sentence formation, thinking speed, logic, etc. My liabilities could be related to inconsistency, intolerance, procrastination, denial, blaming, etc. Identification of these factors could give me a reality listing.

One Step at a Time

No matter I choose to run, brisk walk or slow walk, I take only one step at a time. My first focus is preferably on my strengths. By focusing on my hardworking, I can reduce inconsistency and procrastination.

Having realistic goals is very important for me. I can know about my achievable goals for "one day" when I analyze my previous performance and take the average. I focus all my efforts to achieve that goal. It takes time and patience. Persistence is not easy. It needs constant effort to stay in the present and work consistently. Today I might achieve only 30% of my target. But as I see, this is better than zero. In my next step, I focus on getting 50% of the expected results. I might end up at 35% or 40%. This process continues until I can reach my goals fully.

In the next step, I try to achieve my goals within the 24 hours span. I may get 30% success. I continue without worrying too much about results. I can realize them with time, without my being conscious of them.

Fear is My Best Friend

Fear has two distinct flavors, realistic and unrealistic. The first type is related to anything that could cause harm to me. If I don't work, I won't get paid. This realistic fear makes me work hard. Unrealistic fear is born out of uncertainty and confusion. "What if I fall sick tomorrow? What if I don't get orders tomorrow? What if my customers don't pay me for my work? What if I lose my consistency? What if my work quality goes down? What if I fail?" are some of the unrealistic fears I might have. I need to make a list of them. I might not be able to categorize them right now. Soon the serenity will dawn on me if I accept these fears.

When I understand my fears, I can learn how to live with them. I have heard of many people talking about freedom from fear. I have not been able to get that sense of freedom, at least not in the long run. My fear-factor is something that keeps coming back in one or the other form. My personal experience is I could not fight them. I couldn't even run away from my fears. So I took them as my friends and started learning from them.

Action is the Key

Whenever I have to face the fear of failure, I get up and start working. Slowly fear takes the backseat. It doesn't go away. But at least it won't dominate my thoughts. If I am afraid to my apartment owner (When I am unable to clear bills), I talk to him and borrow time. Meanwhile, I start working on what is required to earn money and pay the bill.

Psychological factors can affect my thinking ability to the greatest extent. Peer pressure, competition, survival, sustenance, and progress keep haunting my mind consistently. I get bogged down by my own stress factors. I have written this article in the first person so it doesn't sound like an advice. Personally speaking, nobody might like to be advised. By using the first person I hope I could create a better sense of relevance to the readers. What I have written here comes from my personal experience.


https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Do-I-Do-With-My-Fear?&id=9841618

Message From the Universe: This Is NOT Your Last Crusade


Back view Of A Woman Standing Near Cliff

"Of all the wonderful places you'll go, of all the happy times you'll have, and of all the adventures that now call unto you, each will be enhanced and will more quickly come to pass... with your absolute immersion into today's places, times, and adventures.

Don't you just love having so much control?

Tallyho,
The Universe"

Life without any adventures is a boring life. Even the difficult challenges we face daily are an integrated part of what makes who we are today. It is easy to go through life without any hurdles or frustrations, but without them, you will never progress or develop in a stronger and more purposeful individual. You should embrace all the good and the bad that comes into your life but also not let the bad things weigh over your shoulders and create havoc in your life. There is so much to do and enjoy about life and whatever happens, always be grateful that it is not worst than what it is now. Take the time to look around you and be fortunate for what you have. Nothing will come easy and this is why, by working harder and more efficiently, you will start seeing amazing results. The Universe will work on your side if you allow it but without the proper thought process, you might confuse the Universe to what you really want and nothing will come to fruition. In response to this inevitable situation, you might end up feeling a sense of nothing working in your life and abandon ship. Patience is crucial for things to take momentum, just like a snowball rolling down a hill. It will start slowly but once it amasses snow and speed, it gets bigger and more destructive in nature. This is how we all need to tackle life.

Your adventure has just begun. The question is: What are your plans to live through the many adventures life have to offer? If confronted with some obstacles, will you let life bring you down and keep you there permanently or will you get up and hit back like Mike Tyson in a boxing match. If you recall, he was an animal and won most of all his fights. So what are you waiting for? Get yourself back at the gym, go in front of a punching back and start hitting the bag day after day for as long as it takes to built strength and power. Once done, get back home and take 25 minutes daily to do mindful meditation to train your brain to ONLY accept positive thoughts in your life. Once you follow this training religiously, there are no reasons why you shouldn't win every of your fights. A healthy body will render a healthy mind, and vice versa. Never forgo one for the other. They come together in synergy to provide you with a life filled with dreams and prosperity. Put your gloves on, and let's hit the gym.


http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-This-Is-NOT-Your-Last-Crusade&id=9597435

Message From the Universe: Thinking Outside the Box


Photo of Man Jumping On Box

"All deliberate change first comes from denying the logic that most gives you comfort.

The big ticket,
The Universe"

Think OUTSIDE the box. We all seek comfort in things that we are familiar with, such as not pursuing something because it is unknown to us. We fear that unknown, fear of an outcome that we have no ultimate control. We then complacent with what we have and not progress. WE keep doing the same thing over and over again so we avoid surprises. It might be helpful at first but you will eventually get tired of it. The same goes with insanity. You keep doing the same things over again and expecting different results. Doing the same as others will stop you from progressing and be something or someone different. Explore outside of your comfort level.

When looking at different options, you open your mind to different possibilities. What seems logic today might be looking totally illogical in a few days or month from now. Your perception of life will be different as you open your eyes to opportunities. When being stuck in a cocoon, you get familiar with your direct environment and feel no change is needed because of getting used to what is around you. Butterflies break OUT of their cocoon and go explore the world. This is what every humans should do. Explore the unknown. Yes, it is scary, unforgiving at time but if you don't try, you will never know what you are missing out. If you take calculated steps, think before you do anything, listen to that inner voice, focus on your goals and do everything it takes to make things happen and never give up, no matter what.


http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Thinking-Outside-the-Box&id=9678009

Big Dreams Have Small Beginnings

Man Standing Beside His Wife Teaching Their Child How to Ride Bicycle

As it is always the case in life, you must get the fact that big dreams have small beginnings and start from an idea or vision. Great moments are born with great opportunities. But it is not your abilities that show who you are; it is your choices and belief. Even if you fail, what better way is there to live?
Do you have big dreams? Are you trying to accomplish or ignore them? Is fear or doubt get in your way? Are you taking the necessary steps each day and moving towards your goals?

When you have wild ideas and visions of what your dreams look like, you often forget that they most likely will not start out looking the way you think. Big dreams have and always start with small steps, in regular increments. As you begin, the things you are doing seem quite mediocre and unimpressive, but you have to start by creating a foundation. And then allow it to grow, develop and evolve.

"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
Big Dreams Are Realistic
You need to notice the thoughts, ideas, and dreams that you have which keep coming up again and again. Do not ignore them or crush them by believing that you are incapable. Big dreams are realistic enough to follow through with them. We all have the power within us to achieve tremendous things.

When you set and keep your sight on the prize, you get higher probabilities of getting there than not. And if you do not always reach the place you wanted, the ride along the journey there makes it worthwhile. Grandiose dreams and goals begin at all times with small thoughts, beliefs or visions.

You are the one concocting such ideas in your mind when you envision, dream and imagine what it would be like if you were to accomplish your goal. And do not get fooled by thinking that you can have the full travel plan figured out. It won't happen. Big dreams have to begin with a first stride which you have no other choice but to take.

Big Dreams Require Small Steps
So, you have to let yourself begin by getting a small step at first. That is how all successful people start out on the way to success. It is like a blueprint which essentially illustrates that little, tiny, cumulative steps towards a goal have far more power than anything else out there. And so, these small actions have a snowballing effect.

It transforms your big dreams into workable objectives which in turn bring happiness, even if you have to tiptoe some days. Therefore, it all comes down to a simple process that I use which is progress equals happiness. It is simple progress towards my end goals. But it is daily progress.

I really believe in small actions, even if they are just baby steps. But do not be lead astray being so focused on little acts that you forget your big dreams. On the other hand, do not only focus on your grandiose visions that you forget making the small necessary steps. You continually need to have both: a huge dream and small realizable goals to move forward.

Big Dreams Have Small Beginnings
Therefore, I believe in big dreams. But too often, people compare themselves to successful individuals. They look at someone who is precisely doing what they dream of doing, and there is nothing wrong about that. But what is not right is that these same people want to get there right here and now. You have to realize that all successes had small beginnings.

It can be losing weight, starting a business, getting a healthy body, have more confidence or anything else for that matter. Visions that bring abundant rewards take time to build, create, develop, grow and there is a reason for it. Sometimes, it can be challenging to accept small beginnings or to start out from the bottom by learning new skills.

Just as I do, you must battle your inner demons as they can stop you from moving forward. They can destroy your big dreams which might bring you great happiness. Swallow your pride and do not be afraid to begin small. I realize it is somewhat embarrassing, but you must accept that uneasiness. It is merely an essential stage you have to go through so that you can build something that is yours only.

Big Dreams Need Belief
The first step before anybody else believes it is that you have to believe it. No matter how hard or buried it gets, or how lost you feel, you have to promise yourself to hold on to courage, confidence, and belief in your abilities. Fight for what matters to you, no matter what.

To exist is to do, to act regardless of what may happen. So take a stand and do not ever give up, because if you do not, the actions behind the words will bring the big dreams alive. And when you achieve your dreams, it is not so much what you get, but it is who you have become in accomplishing them.

Everybody gets the chance to do something great. But most people never take the opportunity. Either because they are too scared, or they do not recognize it when it spits on their shoes. So create your vision, grab your significant chance and do not let it go by.

The Universe Support Big Dreams
The big dreams and the thoughts you have, or the hope that one day you will be the boss of your successful venture begins with small beginnings. But you have to understand that the journey is long to climb up and arrive where you want to be.

One thing needs to be said though; if you want the power of the universe to support it, your dream, vision, and goal have to be of service to others. You have to solve things that are a benefit not only to you but other living beings as well. Each time I focused on money first, it never worked.

It is the primary key to it all. But it all starts in your mind at first. Big dreams have small beginnings. And it is the buildup of many small steps and actions which move things. It then manifests impressive results and great ideas into physical reality.

Big Dreams Call for Action
You have to take the time to reflect and look inside yourself at big dreams or desires you have pushed aside for so long. Realize that they are not silly and that you might even be great at it. You have to determine the first small beginning you can take to get started. Let go of your fearful thoughts and begin taking action.

So, create and put your big dreams on a vision board. Then ask yourself: what is the small step you need to take to get in the direction of your ideas? Instead of thinking about making 10,000 dollars a month, can you make 500 or 1000 more than you are now? And how can you do it?

The answer is that you have to clear five hundred or a thousand more. Then pass two or five thousand more to get on the way to ten thousand a month. As you can see, you must accomplish it in small steps.

The Last Word on Big Dreams
You have to remember that when you go down the path of your dreams, and somehow decide that it is not for you, you have the right to change the route. All that the universe is asking for is that you have at least tried. But if you decide to keep going, you may need to adjust your sails along the way.

Big dreams always have small beginnings. Therefore, do not let those beautiful ideas and thoughts escape your mind or being pushed aside. Take a good hold of them and bring them to fruition. Be confident and focus on your journey, through bits and pieces. And the process, slowly but surely, will unfold along the way.

So, all you have to do is give it a chance. You need to show the world that it is possible. Start just with one small beginning at a time. Dream big and keep having big dreams!



http://ezinearticles.com/?Big-Dreams-Have-Small-Beginnings&id=9810975

Nothing Great Was Ever Achieved Until Someone Like You Achieved It


Woman Wearing White Dress Squatting Near Body of Water Near Plants

"Everything is hard at first before it becomes easy." - Goethe.

There are truths and lessons in that little quote. And so learning is a process, life long. Day in and day out. Whether you consciously go about it. Or haphazardly on the hop.

And maybe one day you realize, you learn to learn more anyway. It is also true for writing. That is what writing is, communicating thoughts ideas instructions and many other things. So as to be understood clearly and conveniently.

"It's not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves." - Hillary.

When it came to fleshing out a new website with content, I slid off the mountain... And there I sat at the bottom battered and bruised.

Progress however painfully slow is still progress. And how easy it is to march through a book or course without doing the exercises. But Oh how painful the atrophy of ground gained is by not putting in the effort.

So, with a bright idea in mind, I headed out to learn to become a copy writer. I had a plan.

But leaning over my shoulder was that big dark workhorse waiting to be hitched. Without the practice, the experience is not gained and the profit lost.

Having an idea, a plan is the starting point. A purpose gives direction. I also discovered it wasn't easy even with a plan.

It was Henry Royce of Rolls/Royce fame who said, "We are here to make it better, and then better and then better again."

This is where that big dark workhorse comes into the game. He's part of it, and without him, there is no game. The hard work still has to be done. Do you remember this, 'no pain no gain'.

But with a little practice along the way, the going gets easier. And keeping in mind very rarely is anything done perfectly the first time. Taking comfort in that allows you to keep trying, and getting better each time. And being able to push aside failure.

Failure is giving up. Not getting up again.

Wisdom is looking at what you've done, and looking to see how it can be done better. The same goes for writing this article. Back and forth, adding a word, deleting a word. Changing the order.

It is the same for something you are putting off because you haven't any experience. What is the worst that can happen? It might just turn out a little how you intended it to. And then, you can make it better.

Which is far better than having done nothing at all.

How many dreams, goals, desires have you let slip by. Or continue to keep in the back of your mind? Let yourself go, go after what you want.



http://ezinearticles.com/?Nothing-Great-Was-Ever-Achieved-Until-Someone-Like-You-Achieved-It&id=9778320

Do You Confuse Motion With Progress?

Why is it when you go to put stuff away the item never seems to end up, or stay, where it belongs? You definitely remember you had that item in your arms, piled high with other stuff, and yet, where-oh-where did it go?

The towels for the bathroom are nowhere near the shower when you step out. The linen cupboard crammed full of everything BUT towels. You shake your dripping wet head in amazement -- How did the pile of bills and magazines end up in there?

And, where did the fresh, new bottle of cleaning spray go? It's certainly not under the sink where it was supposed to be. Oh, but I did find the shampoo and nail polish I bought weeks ago and couldn't find.

You know how it goes -- you begin in one room, closet, or drawer, and before you know it, you've got the entire house in an uproar of clutter and piles. Nothing is where it is supposed to be, and every room you enter, you find more things that need to go elsewhere.

Like that junk drawer in the kitchen which has everything in it you didn't know what to do with so you stuffed it in there. Batteries, rubber bands, pencils, hair clips, light bulbs, nail clippers, toothpicks, scotch tape, tools, recipes, warranties, and the list goes on. A mind numbing jumble of unrelated stuff.

Then you realize, as you spin round and round that every room is much like the junk drawer -- a mind numbing jumble of unrelated stuff. And, nothing seems to be where it is supposed to be.

In fact, you don't have a clue, any longer, what things need to go where. Your mind races with the craziness of how hard you work to keep up with it -- and, the hours and hours you have already spent organizing, storing, tossing, or hiding it.

How did it get so out of control and unorganized so quickly? I'm pretty sure, you say to yourself, that I have been constantly putting things away or tossing them.

All that busyness and yet, so little to show for it.

Is it possible that you may have confused constant motion and busyness with true progress? Maybe you have made the same mistake many of us have, which is to assume that motion is equal to productive action.

It really is a common mistake and so easy to kid ourselves into believing we really are making progress.

How can you tell if you are? Ask yourself this one simple question -- And, be honest, this isn't a test -- Is my destination getting any closer?

You might have to redefine what being productive really is and what it means to you. And, in doing so, consider doing only those things that have more of an impact on your predetermined outcome.

Which assumes you have decided, planned, and are clear on your outcome. But, what if you aren't clear on that? Well, then, begin there. That would be your first productive action. To get crystal clear on what it is you want it to be or desire it to look like.

Beware... the minute you decide to focus and take productive action, you'll most likely trip upon and experience these five saboteurs. They will definitely throw you off track.

Saboteur #1. Sedatives. Those things that numb you out. I'm not talking about what might be your favorite drug of choice here, but all the other things that sedate. Activities like social media, television watching, talking on the telephone, playing games, or even reading a book. Notice which ones are your favorites and be alert when they crop up and steal your progress.

Saboteur #2. Bright Shiny Objects. Or, as my friend used to say, "Look, there's a chicken!" In other words, anything that distracts and catches your attention which seems far more enlightening than what you are currently working upon. An example of this, when it comes to tidying up, is seeking out and buying that perfect container to help you organize. You haven't even gotten clear on the outcome or begun to purge, and yet, off and running you go to the container store.

Saboteur #3. Dreamland. You spend hours and hours dreaming of what it will look like and never actually take productive action steps to get it. There hangs the vision board you created and yet, you are no closer to the vision upon it. Don't get me wrong, dreaming and planning (and a vision board) is a necessary and most critical first step. However, at some point you need to take an action step to achieve it.

Saboteur #4. Information Seeker. You are driven to seek and gather more and more information or inspiration before you even begin. And, the gathering never ends. You take yet another class or workshop, read another 'how-to' book, or watch another video, AND you never take a single step closer to the outcome you desired.

Saboteur #5. Resistance. Every step of the way you encounter opposition, defiance, and roadblocks. That could be frustration, fatigue, anger, or other dramatic events that stop you. Most likely it will be your mind shouting at you, "This is taking way too long. I'll never get it done. This is hopeless! This is way too hard."

No matter which saboteur shows up -- most likely all five at some point or another -- recognize it for what it is. Discomfort. Or, maybe even fear.

Unfortunately, there are no magic answers to keep away discomfort and fear. However, the best and most valuable guidance that I can give you to overcome the saboteurs, is what I was given to guide me. Two, simple ideas.

First -- Get comfortable with uncomfortable. Anything worthwhile in life is going to press your comfort zone. Take a deep breath, acknowledge it feels downright awful, and keep on going.

Second -- Do it afraid. When fear rears its ugly head, face it, deny it, and keep on diving in. Just like the boogeyman under the bed, seldom is it real.

And, in turn, as you chase away those saboteurs, you will experience how purposeful action is the best way to get rid of clutter and stay tidy.



http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Confuse-Motion-With-Progress?&id=9774000

The Key To Success Is Knowing The Last Door Is Always The Best One

Unconscious Self-Sabotage

The struggle people often face is staying committed to their goals long after the novelty has worn off.

I've heard reasons people give up on their goals such as: "It wasn't meant to be" or "It wasn't fun anymore" or "Life is about having fun."

The point worth emphasising is that we can create all the reasons in the world for not following through on our commitments and find evidence to support it.

But is this how you want to live your life? Hiding behind your doubts and insecurities just to feel better?

We don't want to be wrong and will give up on a goal rather than risk looking foolish to ourselves. Known as confirmation bias, it is the tendency to look for evidence or evaluate information in a way to confirm your bias.

Let's be honest, we're all prone to it and just because I'm writing this article I'm not immune from it. The key is to be aware and take the right action, so we don't fall into our comfort zone while our goals slip away from us.

Your beliefs about success will help or hinder your progress.

They may be unconscious, meaning you formed beliefs you are unaware of and are looking for evidence to support them thus self-sabotaging your efforts to succeed.

I like author Larry Weidel's definition of what success entails: "Success has two rules: 1. Pay full price. 2. Pay in advance."

Countless biographies about successful people line the bookshelves where the narrative seldom involves an easy path.

Let's be clear, success is built on discipline, hard work, perseverance, grit, will and courage.

"To succeed, always remember that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing," is the advice echoed by motivational author Brendon Burchard in his recent book High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way.

The Chase For Success

It is almost certain you will fail while pursuing your goals.

It is almost certain you will want to give up.

It is almost certain you will experience mental and emotional distress.

It is almost certain you will neglect your health, family, and relationships, investing all your time pursuing your goal.

However, Brendon Burchard believes "A warrior's destiny is greater than his wounds."

Let's be clear on what success is. It can relate to areas of life where progress is reached. It is not defined by material wealth, nor fame or international recognition alone.

Vishen Lakhiani explains in The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed On Your Own Terms: "I came to the conclusion that the way we define success, centred only on the two metrics of money and power, is just a very inadequate way to define life."

"It's like trying to sit on a two-legged stool-sooner or later, we topple over. And that's when I came up with this idea of the third metric of success, which consists of four pillars: well-being, wisdom, wonder, and giving."

In a similar vein, it was Bob Dylan who said: "A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do."

Yet, success is fickle.

We pursue it believing it holds the key to our happiness.

We pursue it to make up for our shortfalls and hide behind wealth and fame to make up for our childhood insecurities.

We chase success believing once we reach it we will be: complete, fulfilled, happy, recognised and better off. However, if success is pursued for the wrong reason, we amplify the self-doubt present within us.

A Sense of Purpose and Meaning

Author and businessman T Harv Ecker said: "It's is bad enough being a prick, but being a prick with millions of dollars is far worse. You're bound to use your power and wealth to justify your self-worth."

In a similar view, what happens to a millionaire's self-esteem if they go bankrupt? The same thing that happens to elite athletes when they're injured; a deflated self-worth resulting in depression and anger.

They learned to identify with their performance alone while neglecting their human qualities. I'm not suggesting it's their fault because seconds count when it comes to a gold medal.

We want to reach success for the right reasons and be fulfilled on all levels. Success is not the answer if you're looking to ease your problems. It will only compound your problems if you pursue it blindly.

You might think from the tone of the article I am opposed to success. Quite the contrary, I enjoy success and embrace it for what it brings to my life. It has allowed me to help others realise their greatness and potential, however small or big.

The story of success reminds me of The Fisherman and the Businessman tale told in countless business books.

Success requires us to be purposeful about our lives according to Brendon Burchard: "Be more intentional about who you want to become. Have vision beyond your current circumstances. Imagine your best future self and start acting like that person today."

The last door is always the best one because if you stay committed to your goals and pursue them with determination, vigour and courage, your efforts will be rewarded.

Success shapes a man.

It promotes his sense of self and instils purpose and meaning in his life. Success is the expansion of life coursing through you. It needs to grow and cultivate new beginnings so it may know its creative potential.

It can only do so through you as the vessel to know its creative force.

The last door is the only door that matters.

Only then you realise that every closed door, every missed opportunity, every setback and failed attempt was perfectly orchestrated to lead you to the last door of success.

Make it splendid and stay passionate and enthusiastic, to walk through the door and become someone you appreciate in the mirror each morning.


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The 3 Requirements to Level Up Your Success


For the majority of us, success doesn't come by accident. Success happens because of a chain of events. Though the word success may be a subjective thing, the words achievement and progress are not. In order to reach success, whatever it means to you, you must achieve and progress. It's easy to lose focus and motivation especially in the down times so I want to give you my trick that has helped me stay focused on my success over the years. I learned these through my martial arts training and have been applying them to my health, businesses, and relationships. I call them my 3 requirements to level up and reach success.

Motivation, drive and focus crumble when the greater vision is lost or doubt or something negative grabs your attention pulling you away from your goals. I've found this happens because the connection to your purpose was broken. The first step here is to refurbish your purpose. What are you thriving for? Be specific.

For example, this article has two main purposes. Number one, I really hope these three tips help people to get back on track toward reaching their goals and success. Secondly, it helps to get my name out there. Why is this important to me? So perhaps I could help as many people as possible in achieving their successes.

Define what your purpose is. Write it down and know it's okay if it evolves over time. As you reach levels of success, you want to adjust your purpose accordingly but, by stating your purpose and knowing it gives you a direction where to put your focus and apply your effort.

Once you have your purpose you need to get obsessed with it. Obsession is a powerful tool to keep the fuel in the tank, foot on the gas and do what you have to keep pushing through. Obsession glues you to your daily tasks.

What are you doing every day? Why is what you're doing important? Re-confirm your goals daily until you become obsessed with your goals.

Finally, you have to get committed. As a teacher of the martial arts for over 10 years I've found people have to become obsessed in order to truly get committed.

Knowing your purpose comes first. You have to know what you're committing yourself to. I hear personal development experts all the time saying you have to commit. Commit, commit, commit! Commit to your goals! But, they miss the purpose thing. How do you know if you're setting the right goals for yourself if you don't have your purpose down? Which means you may be committing to the wrong thing, that you're not obsessed about and you can't get obsessed about because you know in the back of your mind that it's not what you want to achieve.

Levelling up your game and your success isn't about creating habits. It isn't about creating goals to check off the list. It's about making success a daily requirement and knowing exactly where to aim your efforts. Know your purpose, get obsessed with your purpose and now you're going to get committed to your purpose. Now you have a real foundation to build real ideal goals for yourself.

It's easier to read the map when you already know where you're going and where you're starting from.

If you can't get obsessed with a purpose you gave yourself then it's probably not your purpose. Don't take what somebody else is doing and confuse yourself about having to or wanting to do the same thing the exact same way. Here's an exercise I do and I have my students do to find what your true purpose is.

Turn off the videos, close the books and block out any outside influences for about 2 weeks. Go somewhere secluded in a natural environment and spend 2 weeks with just yourself and your thoughts. To locate your purpose you need to break off outside influences.

Anytime you're falling off track just go reconnect with your purpose. Leveling up is not about what motivates you. Motivation wears off. Drive and obsession don't wear off. What you're obsessed with you'll be committed to.


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Progress Is Impossible Without Change


One thing is sure in life; that progress is impossible without change. But no matter what you do, nothing remains the same forever. To move beyond where you are, it requires getting out of your comfort zone. And growth is what is called the motion you make in a chosen or required direction.
Would you allow your mind and your beliefs to change and grow as new facts are revealed? Or would you resist transformation and maintain a closed mindset? How can you cultivate a more open outlook and receive change in your world? And just how can you apply it in your life?

In my life, I often heard that the reason many of us resist change is that we are afraid of losing something. The reasons are plenty. It may be the fear of losing the familiar, fear of losing control, or merely the distress of losing someone and find ourselves alone.

On the other hand, when moving beyond where you are, you might see new possibilities or things you have to gain. You have to realize that change is a constant. Rather than running away from it, you should entirely and intentionally embrace it because you might live a more satisfying and full life.

But it requires you to be willing to change your mind and belief system. We are only human, and we do make mistakes. When you are unwilling to change your mindset, you stagnate. Remember that your brain is a muscle and it also has to be exercised.

Being Stubborn Blocks Change

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." - George Bernard Shaw
You have to examine the facts. The reason is that you have no choice than changing your opinions when evidence or proofs no longer support your thoughts or belief system. Stay away from being obstinate in your ways. It will swallow you up or anything else that does not evolve, grow, change, progress and transform. So accept that things do change!

All of us are guilty of being stubborn or have a fixed mind at times. And yes, it takes a lot of courage, strength and self-discipline to admit that you are wrong or allow progress to happen. But what is life without a change of heart or a change of mind?

Considering Possibilities is Key to Change 
Centuries ago, people believed in a flat Earth, and that the horizon was the end of the world, but with time and evidence, they eventually changed their minds. The old ideas and beliefs finally died out. Today, everyone recognizes the roundness of our planet and the Sun which is at the center of our Solar System, as well as the galaxy we live in, the 'Milky Way.'

From the dawn of time, we have believed all sorts of things. But change along with progress and scientists have worked in transforming many of our misconceptions. So, we may have to consider that changes and getting out of our comfort zone are needed to grow and have a better life.

For ages, many thought that flying could happen while others believed it was impossible or insane. Eventually, in 1903, civilization went from successfully flying the first operated airplane to walking on the moon in 1969. All of it happening in the short span of sixty-six years.

Progress is Impossible without Change 
So, you see that nothing is impossible as long as your dreams still glide in your head. A creative spirit is vital for you to change, grow and progress. Never stop dreaming since the opportunities are endless. But if you refuse to change your mindset, your beliefs, or your routine, you will never be able to move forward beyond your false impressions.

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." - George Bernard Shaw
Change is the natural order of the Universe. Many of us are unmotivated and lost. Many young people have no idea what to do when arriving at the end of their teenage years and getting into adulthood. Stop strolling through life trying to be someone else. Be unique. Find and live your true identity. Take action to change and grow rather than letting the world tell you who you are.

Grasp Change with Both Hands 
Again, you have to grasp change. Do not let doubt, fear or failure command the course you want to travel on the roadmap of your life. Take some risks instead of playing it safe. And you may be surprised by what you might acquire once leaving your comfort zone. You might experience all that life has to offer you.

Can you imagine how hard it would be to make a change, grow and progress in your life if you refuse to let go of misconceptions? It is like when someone believes they are overweight and no one can love them. How could they accept somebody that express care for them?

If something is not working, you have to change your mindset. Many of us know things which are not true. Yet we defend them because we accept them as real. It is easy to be influenced by the doubts or unbelief of a relative or friend. They can even push you to think that your ideas are impossible.

But have you ever considered the possibility that they might be wrong?

Change and Growth - A Mark of Success 
You need to be in the driver's seat when you seek change, growth, progress or anything else in life. Otherwise, you are going to accept an average belief system and never move beyond what could be.

You have to stand up for yourself, but also willing to change and get out of your area of comfort; otherwise, you are not going to accomplish anything you desire.

Change and growth are a mark of success. It does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one next time. Accept failure as a part of success also. When you fail, you learn from your mistakes, and you can then identify what you did and not repeat them.

Basically, you should not fear to make a change to grow and develop but rather be afraid of stagnating and not learning anything new.

Accept Change 
You must realize that things change and never remain as it is. What you may not be willing to accept or consider is that you have to change as well. But you should! Try to recognize which changes will lead you to progress or growth. Become aware of the facts so that you can change for the better.

Let go of the shame and embrace the change you have to make because progress is impossible without it. Changes will be what create the person you want to be. So, you can contribute to the world rather than expecting the world to provide for you. I wish you a great transformation!


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How to Get Started


The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. So, we need to do the difficult things while they are still easy and do the great things while they are still small. We have to start where we stand, and work with whatever tools we have at our command, and better tools can be found as we go along.

Things do not happen. Things are made to happen. Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another. What we get by achieving our goals is not as important as what we become by achieving our goals. We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated because we will never win if we never begin. The key is to keep company only with people who uplift us, whose presence calls forth our best. When we fail we learn from the mistakes we made and it motivates us to work even harder.

I learned that we can do anything, but we can't do everything at the same time. So, we have to think of our priorities not in terms of what activities we do, but when we are able to do them because timing is everything.

The people who influence us are the people who believe in us. We might be a somebody who was once a nobody and did it because the more we do, the more we can do. I don't believe we have to be better than everybody else. The most important thing is to believe that we have to be better than we ever thought we could be and reach our maximum potential.

If there is a chance in a million that we can do something, anything, to keep what we want from ending, we have to do it. We must act now and move towards our goals. We need to develop a sense of urgency in our life. Whatever we want in life, other people are going to want it too. So, we have to believe in ourselves enough to accept the idea that each of us have an equal right to have it.

The will to succeed is important, but what's more important is the will to prepare ourselves to overcome any obstacles that will come in our way as we climb the ladder of success because we can't expect to hit our target if we don't gamble and make it happen.

There is progress whether we are going forward or backward. The bottom line is that we move! We don't allow anything to hamper us to reach our goal because we do not know if we can do something unless of course we are able to do it.

This is an inspirational article that readers might find something to apply in their lives.


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Message From the Universe: Happier Than Life


"This just in... no matter how happy you have ever been, even at your happiest, it won't come close to how happy you will one day be.

Trust me, I'm there now - 
The Universe"

Everything in your life should progress from this day to the next. You should always look to make changes to better yourself and experience what life has to offer. Gratitude is a must and appreciating the things you have today is crucial to experience better things. Never take anything for granted because it may not last. Be happy for what you have today and whatever comes tomorrow, either it being more or less, should be dealt accordingly. We all wish to have more of everything we already have and should look for ways to reach that goal. However, the primary goal is to live for what you have today and not in anticipation of what you can possibly have tomorrow. Nothing is for sure in life, as we all have experienced this, and what everyone should focus the most on is health and loved ones.

Be grateful for being able to wake up every morning, for walking and talking, for enjoying the weather outside, for spending time with your family and doing activities with them. Be grateful for the good things and not focus on the bad things. We all face struggles on a daily basis and it all depends on you on how you will face and deal with these struggles. Will you let them take over your life or will you fight hard? You are in control of your own destiny, and your attitude is what will allow you to move forward and be a winner. Show life what you are made of and always give it your all. We only remember the things we had when we lose the things we have and this is we learn to appreciate the things we no longer possess. You can one day have it all and lose it all the next day. Nothing is permanent, except death and taxes.


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Why You Can't Experience Progress Without a Struggle

Are you contented with your life? How about a little struggle? Why? Read on to find out.

Struggles in your life help you to measure milestones of progress. Without struggles, there is no progress in life. How is that?

With every struggle, you get to rise up to a challenge and hopefully overcome it. There's beauty in it. You get to reap the fruits of your struggle. With almost every struggle, there is a blessing - something to look forward to - some hidden treasure or gift, which says yes, you have done a good job and you deserve it. This is that milestone of progress.

Say, you want to earn good grades in school. There are competitors around. But that's not the point. You put in your efforts and struggle through your courses to come out on top. There's beauty in it - yes there is. You have the blessing of a good GPA in school which will always work to open up opportunities for good job purposes through your resumes. It is earned only once but work for you in benign ways a lifetime. In fact, it is a milestone of your life's progress.

Now suppose, you have a good job reputation, but you suddenly need to change areas and work in a different zone because of someone's demise, accident, or simply to be near your old parents. Your good job reputation is a milestone of your life's progress which will help you to progress another milestone if you do need to change areas or zones.

Take for instance, you have a challenging health problem. You want to overcome it and live your best life. With the will of your determination, you can rise up to the challenge and beat it - yes, you obviously can. A positive attitude and positive thoughts all along will help you further to cover the milestone of progress. You beat your health problem and give yourself an optimal life to live the rest of your life. How good is that?

How about earning the gold medal for swimming in the Olympics? You have to rehearse a lot. After practices and practices with your coach and fellow mates, you have to prove you are worthy and finally get selected to participate. All along it's been a struggle of struggles. But finally when the grand day comes, you are able to make it and win the desired medal triumphantly. So, on top of everything, it's a milestone of progress.

One milestone leads to another milestone of progress through struggles and winning battles. You pat yourself on the back along the way but not for long. You go on struggling and making milestones of progress until you are lying on your deathbed happy with the minimum regrets. Yes, you have lived a worthy life. You don't regret. You are smug and happy.






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Develop Your Passion, Believe in Yourself

  1. "Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles, and less than perfect conditions. So what? Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident, and more and more successful." --Mark Victor Hansen

How to Create Perfection Out of Your Imperfections (By Rosina S Khan)

I remember when my Dad wanted us to change schools that would prepare us well for O-levels under the University of London. So what were the imperfections I had to perfect? How would this article help anybody to do that? Read on to find out.

I was in grade 9 and wanted to be admitted into that very grade in a good standard English medium school.

Dad figured out locating a good English medium school. We had to give admission tests before we got admitted. When that day arrived, my sisters and I were stuck in a big traffic jam so that Dad couldn't proceed on the way in our car.

We were already twenty minutes late when we arrived at the desired location.

Now this school really emphasized on English. After we were given the question papers, my sister who was trying to get into grade 8 chose an essay on "Your Favorite Book" while I chose the topic, "Books and Reading".

The big blow came in at the end of the test while we were waiting for the results. My sister and I were both given chits of paper that read grade 8. I was a bit confused. But I soon realized that I didn't make it into grade 9.

According to the teachers there, my essay did not have flow and coherence as my sister's did.

I got so bogged down that I cried all the way back and for the rest of the day into the night. I wept into the night falling asleep.

Seeing my condition, my father decided to admit us to another school where we wouldn't require admission tests and I promptly got into grade 9.

I struggled with the English course all along. Sometimes the essays I wrote were good and sometimes not so good. This way I ended up with a "C" in the English course in my O-levels. On the other hand, my sister got a prompt "A" when she appeared in her O-levels.

So you see I was imperfect in the English language. When I went to the university, I worked really hard and tried to find every possible way to excel in the English language. And I made it. I got an "A".

Then as the years went by, I had to write CV's, Statement of Purpose and other documents that required skills in English when I applied abroad. I also had to appear in TOEFL in which I excelled.

Fast forward to the present, I can write effortlessly in English now. It takes me only several minutes to write articles or plot a story or write the skeleton of a self-help eBook on a topic that speaks to me.

The child in me that wept in those early years because of her imperfection in the English language has finally won. She is happy with the progress and milestones she has covered.

This way with the required effort, perseverance and determination any person can master perfection out of their imperfections. I am a living example of that. So when I say it is possible, I mean it really is.

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Conquering Stumbling Blocks to Success

 

On the journey to success, there are numerous considerations with progressive movement. Many of us plan, set goals, and put in the work that is hoped to lead to accomplishment. However, when that work does not lead to accomplishment, we may become frustrated; especially when we don't see the fruit of our labor. Yet, at some point, we must consider the path taken to position ourselves for success as well as the obstacles. With that being said, let's consider a few obstacles and motivators:

• Preparation

With a bountiful harvest, a seed is planted, properly fertilized, and watered. When this happens, eventually there is growth. This is also true with the law of reaping and sewing. Now, while this topic might be controversial, depending on your beliefs or values, the personal satisfaction that comes with helping others attain what we would like to attain for ourselves is a significant consideration.

"The liberal soul shall be made fat and he that watereth shall be watered himself." (Proverbs 11:24-25)

While spiritual laws with success are major considerations, reflection on everyday influences are important as well. For example, what happens when the chosen career path is based on parental preference rather than on passion or personal interest? In this case, career path may be temporary.

There are also prerequisites with roles and responsibilities for the selected career path. For example, a student is in their first semester of college and finds that it is not at all what they expected. When this happens, some students drop out and others change career paths, wasting valuable time and money.

Another consideration is economy, the job market, and its role toward achieving goals. In this regard, it's important to research careers of preference that are high in demand, as well as expected salary, before selecting a career path.

What about the people that need to be nudged out of their comfort zone; especially, among those that are cared for by parents, family, or friends? If we become enablers to our loved ones, it may impede progress. Remember, the best support will challenge us to reach our potential!

• Circle of Friends

Let's consider our circle of friends. Sometimes we align ourselves with the wrong type of people. Consider a person once thought to be a friend, only to find out they were contributing to conversations that questioned your integrity. This is not only disappointing but may create an element of stress, impede progress, or sever important connections.

Then there are times when good advice is received, but we shun the very people that are trying to help us; yet, another obstacle impeding progress. So let's consider motivators:

Have we considered personality types and how this may impact our tolerance of others?

For example, Type A personalities are competitive high achievers, having a sense of time urgency, while Type B are more relaxed and laid back. Type C are very assertive and detail-oriented, while type D are very pessimistic, having more of negative outlook on life.

Needless to say, a person with Type D personality may find difficulty tolerating Type A and Type A may find difficulty tolerating Type B. Therefore, understanding your circle of friends and how they relate to your personality type can make a huge difference with achieving higher levels of tolerance. This may also serve to help better understand your triggers of stress.

Of course, with all types of personalities, there are no guarantees that relationships developed will be in agreement with our views, opinions, or goals. Yet, it is always important to have an open mind, be an active listener, and consider opinions before making final conclusions.

"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)


"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2)


• Network of Connections

We need to align ourselves with people that communicate positive change. Case and point, if you find yourself in a network where there are too many leaders and not enough people willing to resolve conflict or get the job done, seek an appropriate moderator. If one cannot be located, it's best to seek networks with goals more closely matched to your own.

Additionally, be cautious with networks that include groups that have similar interests while having agendas far removed from your own agenda; this can waste so much valuable time. Ensure that your connections are like-minded and that your plans lead to the same goal.

In closing, a career counselor is always a good resource for selecting your career path; however, it is also important to note where we are on our journey; especially, as it relates to obstacles and motivators with achieving success. If after careful review, obstacles are identified as impeding progress with attainment of goals, we must reposition ourselves and get back on the right track.

Consider as many variables that have direct bearing on achieving goals as possible including your faith, values, and beliefs. Write them down. Note, your personality type, identify your career path, sew into someone else's life, and continue to do the work. If at the end of the day, you find that you are still not in the place you thought you should be, consider that you may be in the place that God would have you to be based on the seeds that you have sewn and the work that you have completed.

"The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops. Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this." (2 Timothy 2: 6-7)


"For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)


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Can We Achieve the Right Balance in Life? (By Cynthia T Jackson)

Low Angle View of Woman Relaxing on Beach Against Blue Sky

In my view I believe we are in an era that has subconsciously programmed and conditioned us to believe that we can impeccably achieve the perfect balance between family, health, friends and career whether male or female. For argument sake, I will mostly focus this post on women than men. This is not in any way discriminative or sexist ideology, but merely based on beliefs I have come to think is very emotional topic and one that conjures all types of feelings from extreme feminists to one that plays a devil's advocate. I have read, heard and listened to different variations on this debatable topic and majority viewpoint usually tries to end on a positive affirmative note with a resounding yes, we can if we know how to. So the question I therefore ask is what if you don't know how to or find out how to, then I guess you're pretty much back to square one of where you started when you wanted to achieve this idyllic balance and solution to your nightmare (it is a crazy frenzy when everything around you feels and looks like it's going to open up and gulp you in one big swallow).

This somewhat confusion is not helped, when the media and celebrities portray that it is indeed feasible and if you're not on the same line and in tune, then possibly you are a massive messy failure and one that needs to be sent to faraway place to be taught this super cool way of balancing life and making it look easy and flawless. Well I guess a few of us (real experiencing beings will be deported and even become the largest residents, as I'm sure deep down we all at one point remove this false mask and realise that we are only fooling ourselves). Then again, we have become a society that demands the absolute best and if it means faking it until you make it and showcase that it is indeed attainable, the lesson will be then either join the runaway train of the superhuman or be prepared to be shipped way (metaphorical of course) to the other planet.

I will illustrate this point further by two different friends who both ultimately met in the middle and at the same point even though they individually journeyed different paths, believing that the road they were travelling on was the consciously saint way of achieving the right balance. Hypothetically, I will name the first friend as 'Yasmin Possible 'and the second 'Nelly Impossible' for the purpose of this post. Yasmin is highly ambitious and strong believer in working within the corporate world and especially since she has worked her way up the career ladder and rightly so, wanted to enjoy her achievements and progress even further, just like her heroine Marissa Mayer (CEO of Yahoo). Apart from her busy hectic career life, she is also a mother to a son and another on the way very soon. So far, she has managed to juggle the life of raising one child, loving her husband unconditionally, maintaining and keeping a house, handling a high-flying career and believed another child to the mix will not be a major challenge. You see, she believed she could, until somehow our motherly instincts start to play a little guilty trip on us and start making us question our abilities, capabilities and our self-worth.

This stems from the fact that she now feels like maybe chasing a path of progressing on the career ladder is not worth missing out on her new baby on the way. She is even going as far to justify why she cannot achieve the perfect balance of life and work. Granted that she is aware that it will definitely stretch her, stress her out and possibly make her doubt herself constantly until she changes her beliefs and attitudes, however she posed the question 'can she actually do it when the new-born arrives', I simply said and always say to women who seeks advice and guidance is 'why do you want to achieve that balance'. It may sound silly and obvious but this actually made her reflect on what her major priorities and values in life is, and thankfully just her name suggests, she realised that it can indeed be possible if she just align her belief system to resonate to her true value which is Family followed by Career. She didn't need much convincing or persuading as within few moments of voicing her concern, she instantly had her answer all along, which fortunately run the course of carry on working until the new-born arrives, then take her mandatory statutory maternity leave and then resume back to her career life on a full-time basis and ride the course until her circumstance changes (which won't be based on rearing of children, but more of if her job requires her to).

In contrast, the other friend Nelly was very positive and adamant that achieving the right balance can be done and held onto that belief until she realised that in fact she can achieve this balance if she steps down from the corporate ladder and engineer her career to benefit her life which now evolves around making sure her children are getting the life lessons she wants to instill and make sure that she is involved in the education process and enhancing the new freedom of parenting her children with as much love and attention as they need. Listening to the friend explain and conclude that she only felt like she was achieving the perfect balance when she had the will to decide when, where and how she works and balance with the freedom to be part of her children lives.

Therefore to surmise and bring this post to the end, which I suspect will never have a happy ending, I have concluded and basing from numerous conversations with different women from different continents and culture, I believe what every woman truly wants and yearn for is to be stupendously set free to ride the course of life by what they see fit without the pressure of society to conform and imitate what the impossible roles the media and world dictates to them what it truly means to achieve the right balance. If your life purpose is based on achieving perfect peace, love and happiness then I guess you are a living proof of this myth of hitting the perfect balance of life and work, as you see life in itself is work (with parenting, constant search of our true self and maintaining a healthy lifestyle), so really you are already aiming right but with the misconception generated by external factors, we get lost in the mist and our minds get clouded slightly that we end up punishing ourselves instead of living the moment and enjoying every single moment of our time on this earth.

It is indeed easier said than done but by realising where your values lies and having the mentality to realise that you can only achieve this equilibrium of getting the right balance is by letting go of any hung ups, false ideologies of what is needed and required of you particularly if you are a working man or woman, stay at home mum or dad, single mother or father or even struggling parent, fear not you are not the only one who is constantly working on bettering yourself and having that inner peace to appreciate you, just you.

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