Have You Become A Person Who Complains Too Much?

"If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it." 

~ Anthony J. D'Angelo

If you aren't sure if you are a person who complains too much; use these checkpoints to evaluate yourself: 

• Do you tend to look at things from a negative standpoint? Basically, do you have the classic glass is half empty mindset? 

• Do your friends tell you that you complain all the time or that you are always negative? 

• Have your friends started avoiding you or stopped inviting you to do things with them? 

• Is your peer group basically a bunch of complainers? 

• Do people respond to you with deep sighs when you start sharing your stories? 

• Do your friends and family regularly suggest that you seek counseling?

If these sound familiar, then start applying these 10 steps to help you stop the habit of complaining all the time: 

1) See If You Can Go Twenty Four Hours Without Complaining. This challenge will help you become more aware of your tendency to complain. If you fail the challenge, then start again tomorrow. Keep going until you can go twenty four hours without complaining.

2) Say It Once And Be Done. Complaining is usually repetitious. Choose someone who is close to you and share your complaint and then move on to another topic. Let your friend know that you just want to get this complaint off your chest and then let it go.

"Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious." 

~ Og Mandino

3) Write Down Your Complaints. This is a great technique to stop the habit of complaining. Writing down your complaints will help you realize that you may be whining or being too ridiculous. This is also a good technique for supervisors who want to get their employees to stop complaining. Ask the complainer to write down their complaints and submit them to you in the morning. They usually show up empty handed tomorrow.

"Complaining not only ruins everybody else's day, it ruins the complainer's day, too. The more we complain, the more unhappy we become." 

~ Dennis Prager

4) Look For The Good. You may have grown up in a negative environment or have developed a negative mindset over time. This habit can be broken if you will purposely start looking for the good and the positive in other people and situations. It may be harder with some people and in some situations but keep looking.

5) Stop Hanging Out With Complainers. Birds of a feather flock together. Stop associating with the complainers of the world. Unfortunately, they will quickly replace you so don't worry for them. It would be better for you to be by yourself than to associate with the negativity of complainers.

6) Stop Being So Judgmental. People who are overly judgmental have an excessively critical point of view. It is okay to have opinions about things but be careful not to go overboard with them. Strive not to have strong opinions about any and everything.

"A pessimist is somebody who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks." 

~ Oscar Wilde

7) Look At How You May Be Contributing To The Problem. This technique is tougher because it requires you to take a hard look in the mirror. Take responsibility for your part of the problems in your life. As a therapist, many of the individuals who come to my office quickly straighten out their problems when they are willing to take a serious look at how they are contributing to the problems in their life and their relationship.

8) Establish New Habits. Seek out new and more constructive ways to direct the energy that had previously been used to complain. Exercise, read self-improvement books, go to church and/or any activity that promotes a positive direction for your life and the lives of others.

9) Allow Yourself To Vent Every Once In A While. Some complaints are entirely legitimate and need to be voiced. The focus of this article is to stop the habit of complaining too much. If something is really eating at you and you notice it is having a negative impact on you, allow yourself to express your feelings about it. Just be mindful that you are going about it in a positive and constructive manner. People who tend to suppress frustration and anger tend to have problems with depression, anxiety and a number of health problems.

10) Look For Things That You Could Be Or Should Be Grateful For. This is a good habit whether you complain too much or not. Start and end each day with thoughts of the things that you are grateful for. Your wife or husband, your children, your health, their health, the fact you have a job, etc..

"The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced."

~ Unknown

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Worry Will Destroy Your Destiny (By Cherie Rickard)

Are you waiting for your circumstances in life to line up just right before you'll have peace? Well you'll be waiting your whole life then!

Because the truth is life is full of ups and downs. Every day we have opportunities to get upset over, be worried about and live offended. Many people live worried each day but most often these worries never even happen. Instead, all worry does is rob us of our joy, creativity and focus. My favorite book says "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have enough worries of it's own."

We are supposed to go through life weight down with worry, stressed out and feeling anxious. Release your burdens and stress in whatever makes you happy. You might say, well I can't, I don't have the money or time. Those are excuses to keep you in comfort zone and your comfort zone is complaining without resolution.

I have a friend that for years all she worried about was her marriage, was he cheating, will he leave me. She poured all of her time into her children and husband and worried about all of them all the time. One day he walked in and said he wanted a divorce. He couldn't take all the complaining and suspicion and her worry all of the time. She fed that negative mind set until it actually happened, everything she worried daily about came to pass. She complained for 5 years after the divorce about how much time she spent worrying about him and they ended up divorce and she would worry and complain that she would spend the rest of her life worrying and stressed. It's been 12 years since her divorce and she lives alone, her children are grown and she struggles to keep her business going and worries and stresses over that now daily.

How exhausting is that? Is this living? She would say, when my kids are all gown and successful, I will feel better. Well they are but she's not any better. She would say if my husband would pay attention to me I wouldn't worry, when my husband's business and work slows down we can spend more time together and I will rest better, well she made sure that didn't happen and he's happily married now and she's not.

Despite what's going on around you there is possible peace. Where do you get your peace? Protect it. You weren't created to stay on edge. This is why we all have health issues. People with constant stress and worry have headaches, digestive issues, anxiety, heart problems. Rob you of your sleep and your joy and keep you from your passion and purpose. We can't add one inch to our life by worrying... if you could, some of us would be 23 feet tall. If you spend all of your time worrying and stressed out, don't fret because you will worry it all into existence. Just like my friend did.

I wonder how many thing are you worrying and stress about that will never come to pass? If you want something you have to mindfully project its reality but do it thinking positive and in resolution rather than negative and in problems. 

Do yourself a favor today and make a decision to live as stress free as possible. You can't spend the rest of your life worrying about what others do or their poor choices, you cannot control other people. Are you trying to change things or people and live miserable?

Are you saying when my kids do this, I will be happy and relax? 

When my bills are paid off, I can rest. 

When I get a better job, I won't be so angry or stress?

I wonder if your situation will turn around if you can walk daily in peace within yourself. Try a different approach... do what you love, finding a resolution. I don't believe divorce is a great thing however sometimes it's the best resolution in a bad situation. I don't believe you replace one problem for another. Drinking your worry away doesn't work, your creating another problem. Don't have to work harder, work smarter.

I challenge you to write down all of your stressors this week, then next to each entry write 2-3 resolutions to the stress/problem. One by one tackle each resolution and instead of living daily stressed, live daily in passion and purpose, conquering goals and solving problems. If you don't have one resolution to a stress, then release your burden. Know the difference between the things you change and those your can't. Some of you are professional worriers, you worry in the shower, worry cooking, worry on the beach... I didn't know that was possible. It take a real conscious decision to recognize what occupies your mind and release the things you cannot change. Look into the mirror each day and tell yourself to release your worries. It doesn't add one inch to your life but will destroy your destiny.

                              Download 25 Most Powerful Motivational Quotes

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Ways to Improve Quality of Life - Improve Your Life With Long-Term Changes

There are qualities that we need to address to improve quality life. We all have these to some degree and must be cognizant of them so they do not take control of our life.

Fears change?

I have listed 4 qualities that we need to change. Once we will learn how to overcome these, surely we will obtain what we desire in life.

Enjoys Seeing Others Fail - There are individuals out there who enjoy seeing others fail. Some of the hide it well but instead of congratulating a person when they attain some form of success this individual deep down inside wishes that successful person falls flat on their face.

These feelings could stem from the individual having a narcissistic personality or some deep-rooted psychological problem. A successful person likes to see others achieve greatness as well, the more people who succeed the greater the wealth for everyone. This "evil eye" mentality may come back to haunt the person who enjoys seeing others fail.

In business and life if you help people they will help you at some point in time but if you kick a person when they are down you may find yourself in a similar predicament in the future so try to help individuals whenever possible. If you feel this way then seek out professional help, having this condition is not a character flaw but failing to get it treated is a sign of selfishness.

Irritable And Angry Most Of The Time - Everyone has a bad day here and there but if a person is constantly irritable that other people avoid them then that is a sign this particular individual is either in the wrong position or is dealing with internal challenges.

The reason a person gets angry is they feel like they are overwhelmed and out of control otherwise they wouldn't be angry. Unless the individual in question is suffering from withdrawal due to a drug addiction i.e. smoking cigarettes there is no reason for them to be irritable all the time.

This negativity can be toxic for your company, nobody wants to go near an individual who is constantly negative so if this sounds like you it may be time to look at your workload and maybe adopt some stress management exercises to keep the angst in check. We all get angry from time to time but it is how we deal with it that makes all the difference in the world.

Will Find Excuses And Blame Others For Failure - No one wants to fail, but we only fail if we stop trying. Whenever something happens that seems to be negative an individual with the wrong mindset will look for excuses why a particular project did not go according to plan.

Some of the excuses are "not enough time" "not enough money" "someone else dropped the ball" all of these excuses are nothing more than lies, the project did not go according to plan which does happen to the best of companies.

A successful person would say "you know what, this is what we did right and can implement and this is what didn't go according to plan and we can avoid in the future". By making you accountable to yourself and those around you will exude confidence and people respect that, no one likes a whiner and if a person constantly makes excuses they are essentially that a "whiner".

Does Not Set Goals - If you do not set goals in life how will you measure results? Not trying to be rude but if you do the same things day in and day out without willing to make goals and measure them then what is the point of living?

Please don't take this the wrong way but if you had a job and you went to work every day but did absolutely nothing your boss would fire you. You are the boss of your own life so if you are not doing anything to make your life better what kind of message are you making about yourself as a person?

I know you are scared, we have all been there but you only have one life to live so why not try something different, positive and see where it takes you, who knows where you will be but one thing we know is what you are doing now does not produce results so take the first step and try something new.

Erase these negative mindsets and embrace new things to improve your life with long-term changes. You do it for the better.

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