Showing posts with label change yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change yourself. Show all posts

Easy Way to Build Self-Esteem

Man Wearing White Tank Top

The common attitude to build self-esteem is to hype up a person; you're great, wonderful, AWESOME.

This simply does not work, it's just blowing hot air in a balloon that pops or leaks out and ends up on the ground, flat and stepped on.

If we want to change our self-esteem we have to find the truth about why we feel the way we do about ourselves. The key is at the end of this article, but you have to read the whole thing for it to make sense.

What is low self-esteem? It's a feeling of guilt for being perpetually and repeatedly bad or wrong. It does not matter if your opinion is true or not, if its valid or not, you know you are bad, wrong, guilty, foolish, etc. It's what you believe that matters to you.

If you do not address the subconscious belief about yourself to determine if it is true or false as a first step you will never change your self esteem.

First, objectively observe your feelings of inadequacy whenever it comes up. You can review your day and feelings at night before you go to bed.

You may find that your feelings are invalid and thus you will find it easy to let go, but most likely you are probably going to find it's valid

You actually are stupid, or a pain in the ass or irritating to be around etc. And in that discovery, honestly, you will see why you have low self esteem.

Because you know you are a pain in the ass, arrogant, interrupt people, think you know everything when you know every little and are often wrong, people will look down on you because you are foolish, and you know it.

Therefore it is perfectly logical to have low self-esteem and feel like an idiot if you are behaving like an idiot on a regular basis.

To correct low self-esteem you first have to see why you feel bad about yourself.

Next, determine if that view is valid, then third, CHANGE.

Change yourself.

For example, when I was young, I felt uncomfortable with myself because I would always interrupt people, take over the conversations, be arrogant, be a 'know it all' and feel stupid because I knew I was stupid. Basically, I was embarrassed to be me.

So I changed myself. It was a much easier option than suicide, which tends to be rather final and I like options.

I learnt not to over-talk other people, I stopped interrupting, stopped thinking I knew what the other person was going to say after 3 words, even if I was right, I would not speak up, and I would let them talk.

I no longer controlled conversations and took centre stage by force.

Then people changed how they responded to me, they started to like me better, to enjoy being around me, to respect me more, and as that happened, my self-esteem became very strong and I became emotionally independent.

My self-esteem improved because I first discovered the truth about myself, then admitted it to be true, and then put in every effort to change the negative qualities of my character.

That did not change my self-esteem, but it did change how people viewed me, responded to me and respected me, and THAT changed my self-esteem.

We can now deduce that our self-esteem is not really what I think of myself, but is what other people think of me. As other people view me, I will view myself. If other people view me as an idiot, I will view myself as an idiot.

I think this is all pretty common knowledge for most people, but maybe you have not let it sink in.

What we see is that we need to change who we are so other people view us differently. All this is to say that the idea of hyping yourself up, which is a common theme, repeating that you are amazing and awesome, but in fact you are rubbish, is just a self-lie, and your subconscious is not going to fall for that lie.

Accept the truth, assuming you have low self-esteem, that you are flawed and rubbish, and you can change it.

That is the key, what you have read this far to find out, that you are rubbish, and you can change yourself.

Low self-esteem perpetuates because you view yourself as rubbish and believe that there is nothing you can do about it. So you can add to being rubbish that you are lazy and refuse to take responsibility for your life.

Now you have the key. Do not waste your life and energy hyping yourself by saying you are awesome, wonderful and great. Rather accept you are flawed and not all that great, and that you can change everything if you put in the effort.

Enough excuses and love of self-pity, do not be lazy, take responsibility and take every action to change yourself, and then people will respond differently to you and you will be powerful.

An extra bonus of power in this method is that the people who know you are a pain in the ass, will see how you changed, having known you in your defective state, and admire you even more for having changed, because they know that they are not changing who they are, so they will view you so differently for having achieved something they could not do themselves.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Easy-Way-to-Build-Self-Esteem&id=9802437

We Shape Our Lives, And We Shape Ourselves

Woman Standing Beside Pineapple Fruits

The choices we make in our life are ultimately our own responsibility. In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. You must take personal responsibility because you cannot change the circumstances but you can change yourself.

You may believe that you are responsible for what you do, but not for what you think. The truth is that you are responsible for what you think, because it is only at this level that you can exercise choice. What you do comes from what you think because our life will always be to a large extent what we ourselves make it.

We do not do what we want, and yet we are responsible for what we are. We are responsible for our attitude towards the inevitable misfortunes that darken our life. Bad things do happen; how we respond to them defines our character.

Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses. Those who do not own the consequence of their actions. They let other suffer their own burden. They keep on making excuses to justify their actions but in reality they just don't want to take the blame for the outcome of their lives.

The choices we make and the decisions we take have a long-lasting impact on our life. The past is unalterable yet offers us lifelong lessons on the mistakes we made. The present is a gift we need to make the best of and our future comprises each and every decision we have ever taken.

Sometimes, we make bad choices and often suffer with misery and regret when we realize our mistake. We can't undo the past, but we can always learn from it. Choices are the building blocks of our lives and despite all the mistakes one makes, a new day brings with itself new opportunities and a whole new world of choices.

We become what we become because of the way we choose ourselves to think. Our choices affect our thoughts and our thoughts affect who we are, what we stand for, and the legacy we leave.

Throughout our lives, we are faced with endless choices. We may not always recognize their presence, but, we are constantly faced with the responsibility of deciding. There is no escaping this responsibility. Not deciding what to do or how to act in a given situation is, in itself, a choice.

Making choices also means accepting the idea that we are part of a bigger picture. We are not alone in our choices. Our choices affect not only ourselves, but the people around us. Our choices shape our actions which shape the opinions and feelings of those individuals and, ultimately, the actions they take for or against our behalf.

When we learn to shape our lives, we also learn to shape ourselves.

Our choices not only affect us today, but affect our abilities and our choices in the future. This choices can often lead us to escape from a challenge instead of confronting and possibly overcoming it.


https://ezinearticles.com/?We-Shape-Our-Lives,-And-We-Shape-Ourselves&id=9879427

How To Change Yourself In Positive Ways



To change yourself in positive ways is not an easy feat but rather a hard one. In other words, most of us are weak, overwhelmed or even pathetic when it comes to making changes. But the makeover is possible. It is when you struggle with the fact that it is no longer acceptable, that you are ready for it.
Is there a change you tried to make but have not succeeded? Why people, in general, experience extreme difficulty when trying to change a single habit? What changes should you start with?

It is not an easy question. Making or creating a 'different' you can be tremendously challenging. But if think your life is currently on the wrong path, or not where you want to be, then a radical amount of constructive change in positive ways might be the best thing.

So, to change yourself requires a lot of discipline, but also knowing what your 'ideal self' looks like and recognizing your current weaknesses. It is usually a time when you take a hard look at the truth and realize that enough is enough. That is why it is uncomfortable for many people to make a change.

Beginning to Change Yourself
No one ever said it was going to be easy! To reach your ideal, you need to find role models who will help guide you along the way. If mentors are absent, read books about people you admire and begin to copy their habits. To change yourself, you need to have short and long-term goals.

In my life, there are so many changes I have gone through. And no matter if the change was small or big, each time was of importance. Studies show that to change a habit takes around 21 days, so three weeks. Yet, I had habits that took months or years to change as they were ingrained more in-depth into my unconscious.

Therefore, realize that you might be different. It may be easier or harder depending on the change or habit. You have to figure out what works for you. With that said, if you want to make a difference and develop different and new habits, start first by believing you can.

Nuts and Bolts of New Ways
I wrote several times about how to change, replace old habits, or develop new habits in positive ways, but here are the nuts and bolts:


  • Create a 30 or 90-day challenge for yourself, and focus on how to change just one habit at the time.
  • Put it out on paper, and add the obstacles and strategies you might have to overcome them.
  • Make an end goal by writing down your outcome.
  • Make it a big picture goal but divide it into multiple parts with smaller goals to achieve.
  • Put the written goal somewhere where you can see every day.
  • Commit fully and go full in.
  • Log your progress and report on it each week.
  • Relax and realize it is okay when you weaken as it happens to everyone.
  • If you fail, understand what went wrong but do not dwell on it. And then try again to change.
  • Reward every little success you make or get.

How to Change Yourself in Positive Ways
Learn from the best when it comes to transforming yourself in a different you. Again, find people who truly embody the person you want to be. Use and imitate various qualities or habits you respect from different persons to make a change.
But you have to develop positive ways of thinking. It is the first essential key to help you replace, build, and form any other habit or change you have in mind. Of course, positive thoughts alone will not lead to straight to success. On the other hand, it certainly assists you in pushing you to do the things required to succeed.

So, if you allow yourself to have negative thinking, you always end up failing. You have to think positive thoughts instead; it will give you a higher chance of success. It could be invaluable to you! Practice positive thinking again and again, until you can change and form just about any habit you need.

Exercising is Part of Change

Yes, exercise is healthy and all that, and it is also a part of any change. But how does it change your habits? Well, I walk two hours a day, every day. I am a sportsman by nature, but the last year I have done less exercise, and I got a thrombosis from being too many hours in front of my computer.

In fact, exercise makes you feel better about yourself. It clears your mind and makes you more confident. Workouts lead to a right mindset, constructive change, and better success. And you need to think in positive ways to endure exercise.

As a result, it relieves stress and gives you time to think. It then leads to better mental well-being in your life overall and helps with creativity. A friend of mine, Jonathan Dewaele is a great teacher when it comes to health and fitness.

Change by Taking Baby Steps
The key to change is making baby steps to imprint a new habit into the subconscious. Every goal or change you make should be a step toward your desired outcome. Small changes or goals should be tangible, but do not be afraid to have a big crazy goal.

Then, focus on only one small change. When you focus on one habit or goal at a time, it is more efficient. It is a powerful way of achieving your goals or changes for that matter. Focus and energy are the two vital ingredients for making a necessary change or the desired objective.

Therefore, pick one of the habits to focus on first. Break it into smaller aims and choose an action you can do today. Keep doing it every day until your goal is accomplished. Then get to the next modest target and so on. In some instances, turn them into habits until your routine is ingrained. And then focus on the following goal to achieve.

Change of Daily Routine
Change seems simple, and yet it is hard. You need to transform and create a new daily routine for yourself, which will make an enormous difference in your life. It means developing a habit for the morning, afternoon and evening.

Thus, it will revolutionize your life because a new routine will help you to simplify your days, focus on what is most important, and build the life you desire. In short, you have to eliminate the non-essential in your life.

First of all, you need to identify the things in your life that are most important to you, or what you love the most. Then eliminate all other stuff. It makes things simpler and gives you the space to focus on what is essential.

Cultivating Kindness as a Change
Yes, cultivating and being kind is a great habit to have. Try to focus on kindness each day for a month or two and see what sorts of profound changes enter in your life. It will change you in positive ways, and over the long run, you will see people act towards you differently and even treat you better.

It is called karma! How can you cultivate a kindness habit? Well, first, make it your goal to say or do something kind for a living being each day. It does not matter if it is human or animal. During the day, when an opportunity presents itself, be kind or do a caring act.

Therefore, each time you talk, interact or work with somebody, make an effort to be kind and compassionate. Finally, attempt to go beyond and into more significant acts of compassion. You could volunteer to help those in need or animal causes.

A Final Word on Change and New Ways
So, begin to change your wrong habits in positive ways and accept any small success. Each time you reach a short goal or transformation, you get closer to your outcome. It is a great thing!

However, do not get too satisfied when it happens. Take some time to appreciate the change and keep moving forward to your next desire. These new habits will change your life. It will help you genuinely root the constructive changes in your everyday life.

My closing words are to keep making new goals. Push and drive yourself to become a better version of the person you are now. To change yourself in positive ways and get better habits, you need to have a vivid picture of your final goal and then break it into smaller goals. And then, let it become a routine that gets ingrained and becomes a natural part of you. I know you can do it!


http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Change-Yourself-In-Positive-Ways&id=9819567

I Have the Power to Change Myself



Challenges are regular visitors in our life, and nobody is immune to them. They can either make you lose hope, and even give up, or we can use these challenges to make positive changes in our life.

For instance:

Develop your passion

Having a passion for something, will motivate you towards achieving your goals. When setting your goals, you always want to be passionate about those goals, because if you love what you do, you will be driven by the desire to achieve success. This will go a long way towards reaching your dreams.

Believe in yourself

To believe in yourself is a prerequisite for success. When you have doubts, or negative feelings about yourself, you are sabotaging your progress. Instead you want to see yourself as a winner, and believe in yourself. Feeding your mind with positives, will reinforce your beliefs, and sweep any doubts out of your system.

Track your progress.

It is important that you take note of every improvement you make. This will motivate you to work even harder. Every step forward will give you a boost, and accelerate your efforts to the achievement of your ultimate goal. Learn how to control your emotions. It is important that you use your emotional intelligence, when you encounter problems in your life. You are a product of your thoughts and feelings, and any negative emotions that crop up, can negate the positive forward movement you enjoyed earlier. Approach any challenge with a positive outlook, which will help toward a quick, and positive resolution. You have all the tools you need, in order to make positive changes in your life. The potential for your life is absolutely staggering. The possibilities in front of you go way beyond anything you ever dreamed of. And the best part is, you are in control. It is in your hands to make the changes necessary, to take your life to new heights.

This statement is a perfect description about friendship. While all friends can buy you drinks, drive you home, and/or spoil you in any other way, only the best of them will help you to realize the awesome potential within you. It is only the best among them that can push you to achieve you full potential. It is only the best friend, who is able to give you the confidence to see your capabilities, and help you harness them, in order to set, and reach your lofty goals. It is not surprising, that such an expressive quote came from Henry Ford. Henry Ford is a legend in the automotive industry. The companies he set up continue to thrive, and are enjoying exponential growth. He himself was a remarkable success. To be, where he was, he must have experienced the upsides of many good friendships. Good friends, who spurred him on to become the success as we know it.

As you might have realized already, the path to success is often paved with frustrations and discouragements. Best friends come in, when you experience bout after bout of disappointments. They help you see the big picture, and encourage you to rise from momentary failures, and feelings of disillusionment. True friends will always be there when you need them. The best friendships begin when one person chooses to give unconditionally, when a person chooses to care. It is true, you will often come across individuals, who are ever ready to receive whatever you choose to give, without necessarily giving much back, if anything at all.

http://ezinearticles.com/?I-Have-the-Power-to-Change-Myself&id=9354768