Self-Compassion - Same As Self-Love?

People fail. From time to time they mess up on the challenges of family relationships, life style, work etc. And when they blunder, they suffer adverse consequences. No wonder then that we speak of being kind and sympathetic to those who fail - who are struggling financially, emotionally, or interpersonally. But when it comes to our own problems, do we feel we ought to show the same thoughtfulness, the same gentleness, the same tolerance? Don't we need self-care as well as care for others? The mindfulness movement advocates we practice self-compassion.

"Self-compassion is a practice in which we learn to be a good friend for ourselves when we need it most - to become an inner ally rather than an inner enemy." (Kristein Neff & Christopher Germer, mindfulness teachers)

Why is self-compassion needed?

"All of us wish we'd had perfect childhoods, with a mother and father who modelled ideal parental attitudes and taught us to internalize the tenets of self-love. Many of us, however, did not." (Marianne Williamson, American author, spiritual leader, politician, and activist.)

Self-compassion and self-criticism

One can be sympathetically honest with a good friend regarding their weaknesses or mistakes.

"Sure, the job of high school teachers is not to tear down students' self-esteem. But it's certainly not to inflate students' sense of self-worth with a bunch of unearned compliments and half-truths." (L.Z. Granderson, American journalist)

Likewise having self-compassion and accepting our own faults does not mean agreeing with them. Honest self-acceptance can lead to correcting our mistakes. Self-evaluation is the vital first step towards personal change.

We can be self-critical without indulging in harsh self-criticism. Unless we honestly look at ourselves, we are in danger of self-justification, amounting to self-deception.

Self-compassion and self-pity

One can have sympathy towards one's own plight without being absorbed in oneself and wallowing in self-pity.

"Self-pity is never useful. It tends to distort like a fun-house mirror." (Anne Roiphe, American feminist and author)

"Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make." (Eckhart Tolle, spiritual author and teacher)

Self-indulgence

One can be kind to oneself without going on a self-indulgent binge or spending spree. Self-compassion is compatible with self-restraint.

I would suggest there has been a pressure on people to look perfect heightened by the celebrity culture. This has led to inadequate feelings particularly in many women exploited by advertising.

"L'Oreal's slogan 'because you're worth it' has come to epitomise banal narcissism of early 21st century capitalism; easy indulgence and effortless self-love all available at a flick of the credit card." (Geoff Mulgan, British social and political writer)

Self-interest

Loving oneself is good. For unless we love ourselves, how could we hope to love others? Likewise, without self-respect, how could we respect others?

There is a balance needed between love of self and love of others. A big difference lies between, on the one hand, having sufficient love and compassion for yourself and, on the other hand, narcistic self-love. The latter amounts to prioritising self-love which is never going to lead to feeling compassionate towards others in need. For when self-love rules, it results in self-serving, self-interest and selfishness.

"A modest dose of self-love is entirely healthy - who would want to live in a world where everyone hated themselves? But taken too far, it soon becomes poisonous." (Geoff Mulgan)

Lack of self-compassion blocks compassion for others.

Compassion for others may sound like a tall order. This is the case especially for those of us who lack self-compassion. But it is a higher calling.

Compassion is the key to living outside the confines of your lower self. (Debbie Ford, American self-help author and coach))

Can self-compassion as we have defined it, actually help us to find this deeper concern for others?

"Self-compassion encourages mindfulness, or noticing your feelings without judgment; self-kindness, or talking to yourself in a soothing way; and common humanity, or thinking about how others might be suffering similarly." (Rachel Simmons, American author)

How can we care for others if we cannot practice self-care? How can we be kind to others unless we are kind to ourselves? However, when we accept our own difficulty and unhappiness then we can better recognise that of others. Our pain is part of the shared human experience. Everyone makes mistakes and experiences hardships in life. As Kristein Neff & Christopher Germer point out, we are all flawed works in progress. When we see this then it helps us to feel connected with others in the same boat as ourselves. It facilitates a compassionate attitude towards our common humanity.

Self-compassion and Christian heritage

I see this growing interest in self-compassion as a healthy reaction against an unfortunate strand in our Western Christian heritage. This has been in my view a somewhat punitive notion of God. It assumes f there is a possibility the God who is love and mercy itself might not want to forgive us for any wrongdoing.

According to the analysis of spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg, this mistaken attitude stems from treating the biblical picture of multiple deity as literally true when it's meaning is metaphorical. Not three Gods but three aspects of the one God. As a result of this error a common image of God the Father has been one of wanting humankind to suffer for falling by the wayside. This anger, it is supposed, could only be appeased through the self-sacrifice of God the Son.

I would say this mistaken notion of deity has resulted in the traditional idea of 'original sin'. If true such a doctrine would mean we are all born guilty sinners deserving harsh treatment.

Such a negative view has permeated our ways of thinking. Unsurprisingly, we are quick to criticise our own shortcomings, failings and wrong-doing as warranting ill-fortune, punishment or rejection. And some of us actually condemn ourselves as unworthy of self-respect and care of others. The Gospel, however, is clear about our proper attitude to ourselves.

"Love your neighbour as yourself" (Jesus Christ)

ezinearticles.com/?Self-Compassion---Same-As-Self-Love?&id=10254794

A Stanford scientist says a simple psychological shift can make you more successful

Back in the days when I was single and job-searching, my strategy for dealing with unsuccessful interviews and first dates was pretty much the same.

As soon as I'd left the office or the bar, I'd burst into tears of frustration and silently chide myself for my incompetence.

How could I be so stupid that I fumbled the "Why are you here?" question? Why would I bring up that story about my ex?Obviously, no one in their right mind would ever want to hire or date me.

I thought back on those days recently, while reading "The Happiness Track," a new book by Emma Seppala, science director of Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education.

In the book, Seppala argues that happiness is the unexpected path to success, and she emphasizes the perils of self-criticism and the merits of self-compassion.

Seppala is the first to admit that the term "compassion" can sound soft and unscientific. But she also cites a growing body of research suggesting that your relationship with yourself is just as important as your relationships with others when it comes to getting ahead professionally.

If you're mean to yourself whenever you stumble or fail, you simply set yourself up to fail again. But if you're kind to yourself, you have a shot at doing better next time.

Seppala recommends a simple strategy for exercising self-compassion: Treat yourself as you would treat a colleague or friend who has failed.

"Rather than berating and judging," she writes, "thereby adding to your friend's despair, you listen with understanding. You encourage your friend to remember that mistakes are normal."

She cites research by the psychologist Kristin Neff, who has found that self-compassion has three components:

• First, be kind to yourself by engaging in a positive internal dialogue. For example, you might say, "It's okay that you failed; it doesn't mean you're a bad person or bad at what you do."
• Second, understand that everyone makes mistakes, and that what you're going through is normal.
• Third, and perhaps most difficult, be mindful; be aware of your thoughts and feelings without succumbing to them. You might say to yourself, "This is really hard right now," or, "I'm sorry you are struggling."

Flickr/PattyPractice self-compassion and it'll become natural.

By consistently practicing self-compassion, Seppala says you'll reap a number of biological and psychological benefits, including enhanced well-being and less anxiety and depression. You'll also have an easier time bouncing back from stressful situations — a trait psychologists call resilience.

When I spoke with Seppala, she emphasized that you can't always change your circumstances — you can't go back in time and fix the interview or the date. But you can certainly change how you respond, and specifically, whether you learn from the situation.

"When you shoot yourself down, you learn little," she told me.

But if you talk to yourself the way you'd talk to a friend or a colleague, by identifying what you did wrong and coming up with ways to improve, you'll learn and grow from the experience.

In the book, she outlines four key strategies for becoming more self-compassionate:

1. Replace your negative self-talk. Instead of saying, "How could I have done this? I'm such an idiot!" you could say, "I had a moment of absent-mindedness and that's okay."

2. Write yourself a letter. Again, pretend you're writing to a friend who made the same error — you'll likely sound a lot less angry and a lot more comforting.

3. Come up with a self-compassion phrase. Neff's personal mantra in challenging situations is, "This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment; may I give myself the compassion I need."

4. Make a daily gratitude list. Every day, write down five things you feel grateful for. Even better? Add on five personal accomplishments you're proud of.

http://uk.businessinsider.com/a-stanford-scientist-says-self-compassion-can-make-you-more-successful-2016-1

7 Tips for Getting Over Disappointment

1. Limit how long you let yourself feel bad.

Against my best judgment, I succumbed to Powerball fever and bought a ticket for the recent massive payout. Why had I been resistant to doing so? Because while the odds of winning the jackpot were 1 in 292 million, the likelihood of ending up disappointed were 291,999,999 in 292 million.

Most of us are aware the odds are ever not in our favor, but that inconvenient statistical truth does not prevent us from indulging a fantasy or two about what we would do were we to win. In essence, we buy hope for $2 a ticket—and that hope allows us to overlook the fact that we’re virtually guaranteed to lose. Hope gives us a few hours to indulge the extraordinarily remote if delicious possibility that we might actually win. Hope encourages us to visualize how satisfying it would be to march into work, tell our boss what we really think of them, and declare, “I quit!” or how rewarding it would be to see our parents cry with joy when we buy them a huge mansion.

Hope is great, but it comes with a downside—disappointment. The more time we spend fantasizing about how amazing it would be to win, the greater our disappointment is likely to be when we lose. The day before the Powerball drawing, there was a lot of hope in the air. The day after? A lot of disappointment.

So, for the millions who had to force a smile and mumble a hello to their boss while dealing with let-down (myself included), here are 7 strategies for getting over disappointment:

1. Give yourself a limited time to feel bad. 

Acknowledge the letdown but don't get mired in it. If you didn’t win the lottery, give yourself an hour to feel bad. If you didn’t get a promotion or if your bonus was less than you hoped for, give yourself a day—but then move on.

2. Don’t ruminate about what might have been. 

The more you dwell on the disappointment, the more it will hurt and disrupt your ability to focus, concentrate, problem-solve, or be creative. So be careful not to feed the disappointment and deepen your emotional hurt.

3. Avoid self-pity.

Self-pity comes with a price—it takes away feelings of empowerment and agency and makes us feel as though we don’t have control over our lives. So indulge it at your peril; it can foster a bad mood and even depression if you get stuck for too long.

4. Use self-compassion.

Be sympathetic toward yourself and compassionate about the fact that you hurt. Don’t beat yourself up or become self-critical; doing so will only hurt your confidence, damage your self-esteem, and make you feel worse.

5. Put it in perspective.

We often feel disappointed about things we are unlikely to remember in a month’s time. How many of us will think back from five years in the future to that day in 2016 when we didn’t win the lottery? Very few. If the disappointment you experienced was significant, try to focus on the larger picture of your life and remind yourself of all the things that are going well and for which you can be grateful.

6. Identify the next opportunity.

This is easier to do with lottery tickets, of course, than with more significant events in your life that cause disappointment, but as they say in baseball: There’s always next season. Regardless of what disappointed you, spend a few moments figuring out when and how you can try again.

7. Remember: Success does not equal happiness.

Research on lottery winners has found that their level of happiness rises dramatically after they win, but then reverts to the same level of happiness they felt before they won—usually within a year.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201601/7-tips-getting-over-disappointment

17 Ways To Shed Negativity And Achieve Happiness

How many of us feel complete self-love and self-compassion? How many of us take care of our own needs and rely on the way we look at ourselves instead of seeing who we are through the eyes of our partners or our tribe? How many of us live from our core beliefs instead of living through what everyone is expecting of us?

Learning self-love and overcoming the barriers you've built against yourself are the greatest secrets to living happily. Self-love can bring you closer to inner truth and allow you to attract and create the happiness you deserve in your relationship, career, and life. Self-love will bring peace, love, fulfillment, satisfaction, significance, groundedness, freedom, maturity, wisdom, and magic into your life.

Here are 17 self-love steps that you can begin today to attract the love and happiness you want in your life:

1. Get to know who you are. 

Imagine yourself walking down the street with each one of your values. How do you feel? What do you notice? How are you expressing yourself? This will help you identify yourself through your own eyes instead of through the eyes of others.

2. Be true to yourself. 

You can only speak your truth and express who you are when you are 100% honest with yourself first. Sometimes we discover things we don't necessarily like about ourselves, but you can spend your life complaining about your weaknesses, or you can choose to shift your attention to your strengths.

3. Take care of your needs. 

We often do what others need so we can feel good about ourselves through the way they react to our action. This causes us to live our lives through the eyes of others and not from our core. Instead, take a look at what your needs are. What is the ONE thing you can do today that would make you feel more loved? For example, you can cook for yourself, take a hot bubble bath, meditate, clean your room, or go wild listening to your favorite band.

4. Learn to breathe.

We have a tendency to pressure ourselves into doing things quickly. Step back a little bit and watch yourself in action. What is the worst thing that could happen if you don't get your tasks done immediately? Would you rather stay overwhelmed or would you rather enjoy your journey as you are completing your tasks?

5. Be patient with yourself.

Have self-compassion. Your role models probably worked their butt off to get to where they are now, so be patient, take your journey step-by-step, and enjoy how life is unfolding for you. You miss out on so much in life when you beat yourself up. Patience is key to discovering the beauty of the mystery that every moment brings to you.

6. Meditate.

We are not in our body when we are constantly thinking. By calming the mind, we connect to our deepest self, and through connecting to our deepest self we unfold the mystery of our own happiness. 

7. Chant silently.

No matter what kind of religion or spirituality you follow, chanting is transcendental and a wonderful way to speak positive affirmations to the world. Take any mantra, prayer, or positive words and repeat them out loud, then say them silently within you. By chanting silently, you learn to listen and strengthen the bond with your intuition.

8. Listen to your inner child.

The inner child is a very powerful voice that resides deep in our being. It is the voice of the needs that have not been met ever since we were kids. It talks to us about fear, hurt, and the safety that it is longing for and the love that it hungers for. So when you are in a challenging situation, step back for a moment and ask your inner child, "What is really hurting me right now? What do I really want?"

9. Count your blessings.

We all have SO many blessings in our lives that we tend to take them for granted. Count every single thing you have in your life and be thankful for it. It could be as simple as being grateful for drinking water whenever you want. Practicing gratitude helps us find more meaning and appreciation in our everyday life.

10. Accept your feelings. 

Pain is part of life, and accepting what you feel right now is the first step towards your happiness. You may be angry and in so much pain, you might be regretting what you have done in the past. Allowing yourself to feel helps you identify the root cause of your disappointment and the moment you understand this feeling, you shift towards discovering what you want in life and how to get it.

11. Do one act of kindness everyday.

Say something nice to a colleague or family member and show appreciation to people around you. This is a great way to start acknowledging the goodness in yourself and reflecting it in others.

12. Build your support system. 

You don't have to hang out with people who don't make you feel good about yourself. You have a choice, so find people who think like you, who are positive, who show support, who are grateful, and who reflect the quality that you want to have in your life.

13. Work with your fears. 

We all have fears that have been engraved within us ever since our childhood. Understanding your fears and allowing them to surface will help you work through them. When you repress and reject your fears because of unrealistic expectations of being perfect that society imposes on us, you will be granting more power and control to your fears.

14. Build your own spiritual practice.

It doesn't matter if you belong to a group or a religion, having your own spiritual practice is a great reminder to connect with yourself to surrender to what is right now. Your ritual could be as simple as setting up an incense, setting an intention, saying positive words to yourself and to people, saying your favorite prayer, practicing yoga, meditation, and so on.

15. Recognize the love that is within you.

You are made of of love, you are love, and love rules Earth. No matter how much you try to beat yourself up or indirectly hurt others, know that in your heart you are seeking love in every moment you live. The only guarantee you have in life is that you can give love without expecting anything in return. Be the love that you want to experience in your life and in your relationship.

16. Forgive and let go of the past.

Beating yourself up and blaming your unhappiness on the past will trigger more suffering in your life. You know you have a purpose in your life, so you have a choice: let the past haunt you and inflict more suffering in your life, or forgive yourself.

17. Smile.

Smiling is healing for the heart, the mind and the body. Certain experiences can bring a smile to our face, and sometimes a smile can truly shift a negative emotion to a positive one. It is a simple way to heal yourself and bring a smile to other people's faces.

You can stop and overcome the barriers that are preventing you from getting what you want. You are strong and you are love in your own nature, so how are you going to use these strengths to create the happy life and loving relationship you want?

If you have got stories, tips and suggestion about this topic, leave them in the comments box below. I would love to hear from you!

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7806/17-ways-to-shed-negativity-and-achieve-happiness.html

A Better You? Don't Forget the Self-Compassion Ingredient

Our modern culture encourages self-criticism because it believes that it actually motivates us to be successful and without fail, frowns on any individual who believes in extending compassion to themselves. What the society is not aware of, is that self-criticism is actually self-destructive motivator; is like giving a child a hand-grenade to play with - it will eventually blow them up. Self-criticism plants the feeling of unhappiness and lack of self-esteem in its victim and that feeling stays with them even if they become successful later in life.

Self-criticism becomes a ball of chain that holds its prey down in the long run.

Society needs to preach self-compassion. Self-compassion is the ability of one to not only feel sympathy for others, but also the ability to enclose themselves in that compassion; being kind, taking one's interests and being into consideration during trials and disappointments. People with self-compassion tend to:

• find happiness,
• feel as part of their society,
• be content with who they are in life,
• gain in-depth understanding of the world easily,
• be responsible for themselves and their actions,
• be optimistic; they do not let adversity define them.
• easily rebound from their mistakes with ease because of their emotional resilience.

One of the fatal mistakes that people tend to make is to confuse self-compassion with self-pity; the truth is, the two are just a world apart. A person with the former personality knows how to treat themselves with love and sympathy whilst a person with the latter is usually prone to exaggerating their personal problems and will easily drift into self-absorbed sorrow over their misfortune.

A person who suffers from self-pity has a habit of believing that they are victims of the situation even if evidence says otherwise. People with self-pity are usually prone to invite everyone and anyone who cares enough to listen to them to their misery party and anyone who tries to assist them by trying to shake them from that emotional path is deemed to be an enemy.

Take an example of an example of two people with the same predicament but with different temperament:

Student A and Student B sat for their end of year examinations. Both of the students failed the examination and par the College Board regulations, they are both required to resit for their examinations.

Student A was disappointed with the results; he sat down and went over the things that might have led to him failing. Amongst the list were lack of motivation and poor study habits. He told himself that failure is part of life and should never define a person but what should, is the actions that follow the setback. He decided to step up and be responsible towards his schoolwork and study hard and smart in preparation for his retake.

Student B on the other hand blamed his lecturers for not being good enough, he claimed that he was not given enough time to prepare himself (even though he had a whole year to do so); he also claimed that the exam was leaked to some students but when asked to bring forward evidence or to bring the case to the board he claimed he had no time for that; above all, he argued that the lecturers at his college hate him and that is why they failed him (he wrote the examination online and he got his marks before he left the exam room). He however overlooked the fact that he did not attend most of his classes; he came drunk to the exam room.

The difference between the two students is that Student A owned up to his mistakes first and then extended self-compassion to himself whilst Student B decided to wallop in self-pity and victimised himself.

Self-compassion is having the skill of giving one's best even after going through adversity because of the awareness and acknowledgement that failure and part and parcel of life and as such should not be feared. It the ability to transcend disappointment and seeing one's self as capable but above all is having flexible mind-set rather than a rigid one that will enable them to bounce back.

People who are self-compassionate usually treat themselves kindly and fairly and therefore tend to develop emotional resilience. Simply put, self-compassion is practising the Reverse Golden Rule: treat yourself as you would treat others. It should be noted that Reverse Golden Rule is best practised by an individual who already practice the Golden Rule.

Ways to improve self-compassion:

• Learn to forgive yourself for any mistakes you have committed in the past and take in account that mistakes are part of life and therefore you are bound to make them in the future. Self-judgement does not solve any problem, as matter of fact it makes matters worse as it makes an individual see all their wrongs.

• Give yourself positive talks; express your gratitude to yourself for all the times you have managed to meet your goals or have risen above failure. Avoid down-talking yourself at any cause.

• Treat yourself the same way you will treat someone you care about who is going through difficulties.

• Give yourself an occasional hugs especially whenever going through disappointments. Practice mind and spiritual purification and self-reflection activities such as yoga.

https://ezinearticles.com/?A-Better-You?-Dont-Forget-the-Self-Compassion-Ingredient&id=9073907

Why Caring for Yourself Makes All the Difference.

 Like the song says, it is the greatest love of all


If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion—Dalai Lama

The 2,500-year-old Buddhist tradition contains some fundamental truths about human nature that Western science is slowly beginning to embrace. One is that humans, like all members of the animal kingdom, are inherently social beings. Our brains are wired for love, connection, and cooperation. But the individualism, social isolation, and competition of modern society have led to imbalance within ourselves, in our relationships, and with nature. We see the results in current epidemics of anxiety, loneliness, pain, and obesity. Yet if we lack connection in the external world, we still have the ability to create it in our internal worlds through compassionate practices, and thereby reap some physical and psychological benefits.

What is Self-Compassion?
Dr. Kristin Neff, a researcher at the University of Texas at Austin, is the pioneer of self-compassion as a tool to promote psychological healing, well-being, and better relationships. She contrasts self-compassion with self-esteem in that it does not require us to elevate ourselves above other people and compete with them. While high self-esteem is generally based on evidence of superior achievement, self-compassion is a more constant personal quality, in which we value ourselves and treat ourselves kindly just because we are human. And this caring attitude to ourselves helps us to recognize our similarity and connection with other humans, who share with us common aspirations and sources of suffering.
Does Self-Compassion Turn Us Into Wimps?
Self-compassion does not make us spoiled or weak, but rather is a learned coping strategy that research shows can decrease anxiety and enhance resilience and recovery from the effects of stress. It also does not require us to deny and suppress negative aspects of our experience. In fact, part of Neff's definition of self-compassion is mindfulness—or a balanced holding in consciousness of all facets of our experience, without overreacting to them. The essence of self-compassion is to acknowledge our own emotional suffering and then deliberately comfort ourselves by generating feelings of warmth, softness, and care toward ourselves and, by association, all living beings who are suffering.
How Do Children Develop Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned, and improved through learning. Children learn by watching how caretakers, especially parents, react to them. If children get punished for expressing anger or sadness, they learn that it is bad or even dangerous to feel these states. If their sharing about life's disappointments and rejections results in stern criticism and expressions of contempt, they become contemptuous and critical of themselves. Therein lie some of the roots of human misery. The normal social and academic challenges presented by school and peers become compounded by social learning. Children with critical, neglectful, or rejecting parents now learn a layer of negative labels to put on themselves when they are less than perfectly accepted and successful.  On the other hand, those lucky ones who have caring, attentive parents learn, via the experience of being warmly comforted and cared for, how to take care of themselves when they are sad or have been let down by life. Research shows that securely attached children are more self-compassionate than children with anxious or disorganized attachment styles. Cultural factors also play a role. If the culture emphasizes fear of punishment as the basis of learning, levels of self-compassion will be lower overall.
What are the Benefits of Self-Compassion?
Research by Neff and colleagues shows that self-compassion decreases anxiety in evaluative situations, such as being asked about one's weaknesses in a job interview. Self-compassion is also associated with higher and more consistent levels of well-being than self-esteem. When self-evaluations are not dependent on constant proof of achievement, we feel more relaxed and better about our lives. Self-compassion is also associated with more curiosity and exploration. When we don't beat ourselves up for failure, we are freer to try new things and make mistakes as part of the normal pattern of learning and growth. More self-compassionate people are also more willing to take responsibility for their contribution to situations that don't turn out as planned. When making a mistake is not the end of the world, we are freer to confront our mistakes, learn new skills, and make amends, rather than hide away in shame.
Can Self-Compassion Make Me Healthier?
A 2007 study by Neff and colleagues suggests that self-compassion may be an important tool in weight-management and in overcoming emotional eating. Students were given donuts to eat, but half were assigned at random to hear a compassionate comment from the experimenter, such as, "Don't beat yourself up about eating these; subjects eat them all the time." The other half received the donuts without the comment. Later that day, when given the chance to eat candy, those who heard the compassionate comment ate less. Therefore, self-compassion may help to prevent emotional eating resulting from feeling bad about breaking dietary restriction rules. Future research is needed to look at whether these benefits are also found in clinical populations such as obese people or those with eating disorders.
In summary, self-compassion appears to have many benefits. When we treat ourselves kindly, we learn to soften and open ourselves to all kinds of experiences, including our own emotions. We may also become more accepting of others when we focus on our common humanity.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201202/why-caring-yourself-makes-all-the-difference