7 Tips For Choosing a Coach (By Michelle Perkins)

Coaching is a remarkable process, and it is no wonder that it's caught on and taken off in the last decade. Ten years ago, not many people understood what a life coach was. In 2018, we have to explain less what coaching is, and instead reveal the greatness that could come of working with a talented coach.

I have multiple coaches and coaching/mastermind groups that I participate in. Early on, I worked with coaches to gain knowledge and learn skills, with the idea that I would move on to implement and work on my own.

I did stop receiving coaching intermittently, but always found that the periods without the support, accountability and guidance of my coaches were not as productive, well directed or enjoyable.

The coaches in my life now are the exact right people for me at this time. I feel blessed to have found them (although I don't believe there was any accident in that) and I take the relationships seriously.

Coaching is an investment in real results and change. Whatever the investment amount, it is always an investment in yourself and that differentiates it, in my mind, from many spending options. Coaching is all about the client and every dollar you spend should come back to you in both income and self development (often the part that feels most valuable).

It simply improves the quality of life in a very holistic way if done well.

"Coaching comes from the world of sports and the arts, where athletes and actors receive coaching so that their work will become extraordinary instead of just okay. Coaching gives clients a secret weapon, a competitive edge that their un-coached peers do not enjoy. Coaching takes people from good to great. Coaching is not for dysfunctional people. It is not here to heal the sick and wounded. It's there to help people reach their higher callings and unlived lives, the lives they are not living because they are trapped in their own isolated self-critical egos. Coaching expands their world." Steve Chandler - The Prosperous Coach

So how do you choose a coach. What should a person look for when making that investment in themselves?

Your coach becomes a significant partner in your life's journey, and selecting someone goes beyond qualifications. As coaching has become more prevalent, the number of coaches has increased, as have the certification programs. The field has become easy to enter so choosing a coach can be confusing.

When you are seeking a coach, some of the recommendations I and my colleagues would make so you can experience the highest level of coaching magic are:

1. Ask a coach to give you the experience of coaching with them before you decide to commit. In a conversation, you can get a sense of coaching style, relatability, and listening skills. By the end of the conversation, you should know more about them, but more importantly, you should know something new about yourself.

2. A person who will push you beyond your self imposed limits and see what you can't, but should, see. If someone can hold you as powerful, even when you cannot, they are more likely to help you achieve your goals and discover greatness within you.

3. Your coach needs to be fearless, and more concerned with your growth than with being liked. It's important the coach be able to suggest bold action and address issues that are below the surface. Every client has a "goal behind the goal" and the right coach will be able to uncover the deeper level desires of the client.

4. The person you choose as your coach should relish a challenge, be fun as well as serious, and set a high bar for you and your life. They must believe in you and your ability to achieve the goals you want to reach. They should also be able to see all of your strengths and understand that success in life is more than achieving a single goal. A holistic approach is best, and success on your terms should be the criteria.

5. Are you looking for both self discovery and advisement? Some coaches lead you to your own conclusions and actions with powerful coaching questions. Others may offer more ideas and advice on what to do and how to do it. Some coaches combine the two, and are intuitively understanding of when to ask questions and when to offer advice.

6. How much coaching does your prospective coach receive? If someone doesn't use the services they are offering, it begs some questions. It is critical that coaches work on themselves and consequently are less likely to bring their own issues into the coaching work.

7. Are you interested in taking action? There may be a great deal of clarity needed or decisions to make before you feel ready to act, but nonetheless, action is typically one of the desired outcomes of the coaching process. There are times when people are deeply disturbed or depressed and need to understand their feelings on a deeper level and therapy is a better option. A coach with integrity, who is aware of the difference, will be able to recognize specific needs.

Coaching is one of the greatest support services you can treat yourself to. There is nothing like having an objective, dedicated and trusted advisor whose main objective for you is success (as your define it) with no other agenda. A person who will push you beyond your self imposed limits and see what you can't see about and for you.

If you want the fullest life possible, coaching isn't a luxury as much as a very smart investment in yourself.

http://ezinearticles.com/?7-Tips-For-Choosing-a-Coach&id=9871234

Message From the Universe: Nothing Good Comes From Looking Into Your Past!

"From where I sit, it is a mystery to me how so many can look back on their past with pride, yet frown with disappointment at their present. Somehow forgetting that back then, they were just as self-critical, while somehow missing that today they've never, ever, been so close to all they've ever wanted.

Historical dyslexia?

Possibly,

The Universe"

When looking at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? Are you proud with what you see? Would you hope to be in a better place in your life? Do you feel empty inside, and not because you are single, but because you weren't able to achieve all your dreams? Do you think there is a better version of you out there, in a parallel Universe, or maybe on that same planet you live in, YOU can better yourself? Whatever the answer to these questions comes to mind, you are the one who will come up with the best probable answer. It is not about living in your past, about how much money you made, about how great relationships you had and have lost, how this or that with the purpose of comparing your past life with your present life. Why this torture? Will that be productive for you to endeavor on the "should have" approach to life. It is the past so it is important that you leave it behind.

You made choices and it is important to realize that living with these choices is a must for you to move forward with what you want to do from this point forward. There is always a better option when you weigh them all. If you chose this path, that is because that path was the best available then. It is possible that today, that same path taken 10 years ago might not render the same outcome, but this is why it is crucial to always update your goals and dreams. They will always change so why shouldn't you? Keep yourself learning more and always be eager to become better as a person. In reality, this is the ONLY thing you can control in life. You can't avoid sickness, or financial disaster, or loss of family members, or whatever else that can slam at you like a massive tidal wave. You need to come to realization that whatever effort or work you put into something can render various results that can be hard to predict. However, the effort you put in to become a better person will provide you with a lifelong level of peace and satisfaction. Learn to work on yourself first and everything else will follow.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Nothing-Good-Comes-From-Looking-Into-Your-Past!&id=9640833

7 Tips to Conquer Procrastination

Many of us have put off something that needs to be done. Procrastination is seen in many different ways, such as laziness, having a faulty sense of time, or simply wishing to avoid an unpleasant situation. In many cases, they try to avoid stress related situations, but the actual delay in taking action can in fact lead to more distress in the long-term.

Procrastination can result in general poor performance, health problems and increased stress. Those that procrastinate the most are likely to live with greater stressful regret and have more sleep related issues. Also, they are likely to have more self-critical thoughts that further increase the likelihood of putting off tasks.

However, there are a variety of practical solutions that can help to conquer procrastination, from breaking up projects into smaller tasks to make it feel less overwhelming to finding the most appropriate time to engage in a particular activity.

Here are a few useful tips to help conquer procrastination:

Know when to work

A lack of focus can be eliminated in many situations if able to establish when you work best. Try to identify the time of day you are the most creative or do your best thinking. You can see a significant increase in your focus and concentration if able to work during the most productive hours of your day.

Don't get involved in multitasking

Multitasking has the potential to diminish your productivity and is mentally exhausting. For this reason, a large-scale project should be broken down into several pieces that includes a start and end point, and has no interruptions in the flow of work. There is less risk of being interrupted when it gets close to completing a project.

Be more disciplined and develop routines

There are plenty of times when workloads can become unmanageable. An effective way to avoid missing timelines and procrastination is to be a lot more disciplined and develop specific routines. Proper time management is essential in many environments and increases the ability to meet deadlines.

Try to understand why you are procrastinating

Finding the root cause of what makes you procrastinate is certain to make you more productive in your day-to-day life. There are plenty of reasons which can range from a resistance to hard work, fear related issues, or even self-sabotage. If you are able to appreciate your reasons for procrastinating, that can become useful knowledge when looking to make changes and make your life more focused and productive.

Identify your most important priorities

Take a moment to list the most important professional and personal priorities in your life. Any day started without a plan can lead to a lot of time wasted doing little or unimportant task. In the worst case situation, you can easily spend the entire day on tasks that have little meaning or value to you.

Create a list of distractions that impact your daily life

A useful way to avoid procrastinating is to create a list of anything that is distracting to your daily life or stops you completing a project. Put these distractions on hold until the more important things are complete. Anything that may be causing a distraction can be used as a reward or inception to get something done in a timely fashion.

Use an accountability coach or buddy

Many people have difficulty focusing when they have so many priorities and tasks to complete. Or, there is the risk of freezing up when something arises that you would prefer not to do. A common fear is that a task won't turn out as desired or achieve the desired result. You may start to create excuses to avoid any distress which leads to being less productive. A great method to being productive is to have an accountability coach. They are great to share emails with and set out clear guidelines on future tasks and goals.

http://ezinearticles.com/?7-Tips-to-Conquer-Procrastination&id=9863104

Simple Secret to Clear Your Mind & Boost Your Energy & Brain Function (By Kevin Schoeninger)

How often do you feel mentally foggy, emotionally stressed, and/or physically lethargic? In this article, you'll learn how to instantly clear your mind, while boosting your energy and brain function.

I went downstairs to my teenage son's lair the other day and found him intently slouched in front of the Xbox. He had been down there for a couple hours. When I asked him how he was doing, he returned a lethargic mumble. Xbox is one of his favorite activities, and I love that he can play online with his friends, strategize, problem solve, and have fun.

However, too much time sitting and playing Xbox makes his brain dull and his body lethargic.

We have a deal with him that he can play Xbox as long as he goes to Kung Fu at least 3 times a week. Fortunately, on this day, Kung Fu was just minutes away. I asked him to get his uniform on, so we could get going.

A remarkable thing happened at Kung Fu. After about 10 minutes of warm-ups, stretching, and forms, he was laughing and talking. His energy was brighter. By the end of class, he was talking up a storm in the car on the way home. The physical activity had transformed his energy, attitude, and mental clarity.

And this happens without fail pretty much every time he goes to Kung Fu.

In the same week, my wife was struggling with some old mental-emotional patterns. She was very self-critical on her looks and lacking confidence in what she is doing for work. From my perspective, this is crazy, because, for one, she is absolutely beautiful, and two, she is wonderfully good at her work doing Intuitive Readings and Reiki.

Nevertheless, there was no pumping her up or talking her into a better mood.

Then, she went to her Ninja training workout. This workout really tests her on obstacles, strength, mental focus, and endurance. She was a gymnast growing up, yet the balance, power, agility, and strength asked for by that class really pushes her to the edge.

She called me on the way home from her class-and she was gushing with enthusiasm. She had just made it up the "Warped Wall," and completed a preliminary "Salmon Ladder" that she had been working on for months. She was physically tired, but, at the same time, emotionally energized and happy.

The self-criticism and self-doubt were gone.

As a Personal Trainer, I've seen this happen again and again with my clients for over 35 years.

They come in tired, stressed, frazzled, frustrated, or worried-and they leave relaxed, energized, mentally clear, and feeling good. And, research back this up.

Physical training gets blood flowing, bringing more oxygen to all your cells-including your brain. It pumps lymphatic fluid, which clears toxins from your cells. It stimulates good-feeling neuro-chemicals called "endorphins." And, it even stimulates new neural connections, boosting your mental clarity, brain function, and creativity.

I've proven this time and time again with my own workouts. Whenever I am in a mental funk, feeling lethargic, or frustrated with a problem, I workout-and not only does it boost my energy and clear my frustration, the solutions to what I am working on seem to magically appear. Because of that, I often keep a pen and paper handy when I workout.

Now, over the years, I've discovered that there is one key to shifting your energy, clearing your mind, and boosting your brain function using physical activity. That key is to push up to your limits to some degree. That is what stimulates more oxygen delivery, new neural connections, and those endorphins.

You can do this using cardio, strength, stretching, or mind-body training-or ideally some combination of all of the above.

Using cardio training, which is any continuous rhythmic movement that elevates your heart-rate and respiration, you need to go at an intensity that makes you breathe heavily and rapidly, at least for a short period of time. It's best if you do this alternating harder and easier intervals.

Using strength training, with body weight or external resistance, you need to push your muscles until they feel somewhat challenged. Take a break and do it again.

Using flexibility training, you need to stretch to the limit of your flexibility and then work at that edge by imagining that you are breathing into and out of the muscles you are stretching. In this way, you gradually, mindfully, increase your range of motion.

Using mind-body training, you need to challenge your body with tasks that ask for your full attention, such as balancing, practicing a skillful activity, or focusing on the sensations inside your body while moving.

In these ways, you engage your mind and body, challenge yourself at least slightly, and come away feeling mentally clear and refreshed as well as physically relaxed and energized.

So, the next time you feel mentally foggy, emotionally stressed, and/or physically lethargic, take a break for physical activity. Engage your mind with your body by challenging yourself in some way and paying attention to the feeling of what you are doing. Then, notice how you feel afterwards.

Record that good feeling in your body, so you can remember it to motivate physical activity the next time you feel foggy, stressed, and lethargic.

If the memory of physical activity doesn't pull you out of your chair, consider putting a regular exercise class in your schedule, setting up a regular routine with a friend, and considering what physical activities you really enjoy-such as dancing or hiking in nature.

Physical activity that challenges you slightly and feels enjoyable is a surefire way to instantly clear your mind, while boosting energy and mental clarity.

So, what are you waiting for? Get up and move!

Your body and mind will thank you!

Too tired to exercise?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Simple-Secret-to-Clear-Your-Mind-and-Boost-Your-Energy-and-Brain-Function&id=9516955

Stuck? Self-Critical? Fear of Change? Explore Your Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem is the overall impression you hold of yourself; including how much you value yourself and how you rate your abilities as well as limitations. It is who you believe you are and what you are capable of achieving. It often does not directly link to with your actual abilities.

If You Have Healthy Self-Esteem, you probably...

Feel good about yourself

Are confident and have the courage to change

Have a positive attitude

Value yourself

Feel a sense of belonging

Feel safe and empowered

Tackle new challenges easily

Can step out of your comfort zone when needed

Believe you can achieve success

Are able to create a good work/life balance

If You Have Low Self-Esteem, you are probably...

Self-critical

Often apologetic

Shy - which can sometimes show itself by being pushy and aggressive

Avoiding challenges

Avoiding eye contact

Feeling low energy

Underperforming at work and being overlooked for promotions, etc.

Finding it difficult to ask for help or accept a compliment

Putting the needs of others first - often neglecting your own needs

Feeling somewhat dis-empowered and in pain

How to Move from Pain to Power

Low self-esteem can be a significant obstacle that holds a person back from succeeding in all aspects of life. It is painful to not feel good about yourself, focusing on your limitations rather than recognizing and valuing your abilities, skills and natural talents. Raising your self-esteem leads naturally to a place of power.

Your thoughts and beliefs have a huge impact on your self-esteem. The good news is thoughts and beliefs can be influenced. It is possible to learn how to replace negative, dis-empowering thoughts and beliefs with healthier, more realistic ones. You can explore this and other ways to achieve a healthier self-esteem with a life coach -- resulting in a more balanced life.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Stuck?-Self-Critical?-Fear-of-Change?-Explore-Your-Self-Esteem&id=9338496

Losing the Game of Life – 7 Ways to Cope With Chronic Failure

I have been asked why I always see the glass half empty or why my myopic vision seems permanently focused on an eclipse of the sun. For years, relatives and friends have wondered why I so readily embrace doom  and gloom in an attempt to understand my persistent pessimistic bent in life. They’re concerned that I’ll keep the black clouds overhead forever – comfortably miserable in that dismal, dim light.

But the transformation process towards embracing positivity can be a very slow one with barely perceptible incremental changes, especially if life’s defeats keep adding up. Since leaving the Ivory Tower where I left my last vestiges of success behind decades ago, I’ve floundered in various positions, unable to climb my way up any financial/social ladder.

I may go up a couple of rungs, only to lose my footing and start all over again. Over time, the constant disappointments, rejections, and failures have mounted to such an extent that the ladder seems to have been greased or have missing steps.

But this is no self-pity party here and I’ve already thrown away the maudlin violins playing in the background. Finally, I’ve decided to look at the big picture with a different lens, and my purpose in writing this article is to serve as your optometrist, helping you to see your life more clearly. I’m not pushing the rose-colored glasses – just ones that will expand and enhance your vision, helping you to see yourself and your life more realistically and with more compassion.

Consistent professional strife commingled with personal life challenges requires resilience, persistence, determination, and a can-do attitude. Now I’ve read enough self-help books and I’ve  seen too many Rocky movies not to know that it’s not the failures that define us but our reactions to such failures. Do we just give up and stay on the canvas, or do we try to bounce back and fight another day?

It’s easy to have a spring in your step when you receive only an occasional knockout. But it becomes much more difficult when you feel as though you’re getting hammered on a daily basis.  To all my fellow underdogs, here are 7 ways to make it through the constant deluge:

1) Ask yourself, “Is this really failure?” We tend to be so self-critical when we evaluate ourselves, determining whether we’ve accomplished our goals. We may hit one milestone but if there are loose ends and other tasks that are yet to be fulfilled, we regard our efforts as useless and meaningless.

We disregard success, especially perceived minor success, believing that we haven’t scratched the surface of all that needs to be done. Consequently, our internal dialogue becomes so skewed as we bombard ourselves with thoughts of inadequacy, emphasizing that we’re not good enough. I’ve done this just about my entire life, highlighting failures in my own mind like a ticker tape of strikes. I seldom think about the good that has surfaced and I definitely don’t relish any success – at least not for any stretch of time.

Case in point: My son is on the autism spectrum, and I was told that he would never speak or accomplish just about any task independently. But through an incredible amount of hard work, commitment, and dedication, he has progressed beyond those limiting parameters set by several doctors. But while I should celebrate his achievements and be thrilled that he continues to advance, I too often look up that developmental mountain, thinking it’s too high to climb. I’m finally seeing just how far away we are from that starting point.

Moreover, for years, I blamed myself for not figuring out the missing puzzle pieces of autism.  Yes, I worked with him hours upon hours a day, but I thought that I should be more clever and insightful in my approach to truly help him. I actually thought of myself a failure as a parent for not making more of a difference. Those days are long gone as I now congratulate myself on serving the role of Dad in an exemplary way.

Perhaps, you too, are not seeing a given event clearly, defining it in a negative way, and likely disregarding the positives.

We have to think like Thomas Edison, who made over 1,000 attempts before he invented a longer-lasting light bulb. He never regarded his prior efforts as failures because he learned what not to do, and gained from the benefit of his past experiences.

2) Give up caring about what the neighbors think – It’s difficult enough to be one’s own worst enemy. Why compound the problem be being overly consumed with what people think of you?

We have to accept the fact that people love gossip, and sometimes, like others to fall flat on their face. Some enjoy pointing out others’ failures if only to temporarily elevate their perceptions of themselves … although that never works.

But we cannot internalize other folks’ critical views of us. We also have to stop assuming that  people who know us even have such views.  This can be immobilizing where we just give up and start making decisions that are counterproductive.

Even well-intentioned loved ones may share advice because they feel you’ve lost your way.  Hearing different perspectives can be helpful but ultimately you have to make your own choices.

You have inner wisdom and intuition that you can tap into. You should not define yourself and direct your actions based on the (welcome and unwelcome) feedback that you receive.

I have a cantankerous older neighbor who sees that I work from home several days a week. I once overheard him calling me a “Bum” because he believes that I don’t have a job. It hurt me profoundly, and made me question my present career choice. While you may not be saddled by this type of sensitivity, it’s possible that you’re giving over your power to someone because of your perceived chronic failures. Don’t do this!

3) Express sincere gratitude – Why would you be grateful for incessant failure? It would seem more appropriate for you to curse it and feel as though you lead a cursed life.

But think about the prospect that you can even go for your dreams. While it may seem as though you’re on a hopeless quest to attain these dreams, at least you have the power and privilege to make your wishes come true. There are people in the world who are unable to make their own choices and don’t have the same options.

And even if you feel your options are limited, you probably can still work around them. It may take you longer to reach your destination (perhaps a lifetime) but there are lessons to be learned along the journey … and that is a silver lining in and of itself.

The only real failure may be the failure to ignore the beauty around you, the sun shining on your face, and the blessings in your life.

Refuse to allow failure to obscure life’s joys and your own amazing talents and intrinsic worth.

4) Fail Up – Here, I’m borrowing a quote from Nobel laureate Samuel Beckett.

Recognize the  vicissitudes of life and accept that changes are always going to surface. You may feel that the pendulum of life will always stay set at ‘unfavorable,’ but understand that the pendulum will swing its full arc and one day go in a more positive direction.

You can help move the pendulum along by creating positive, optimistic thoughts. You can even exert more force on that pendulum by continuing to take action, damned the torpedoes.

The idea is to continue to move forward, and not get stuck in the muck and mire of the difficult present and the burdensome past.

Learn, like Edison, from your one thousand and one failures, and march along your path with a sense of invincibility.

Failures do not necessarily beget more failures. In fact, the more failures you experience, the more likely success is to materialize.

5) You’re not the only one going through it – So many of us feel that life has a personal vendetta against us. We may believe that we’re getting singled out, always at the center of a storm. We may also think that other people have it easy … or at least easier than us.

We have to understand that trials and tribulations will face each one of us. It’s impossible to remain unscathed by problems as they’re part of the human experience. And everyone faces failure, particularly when en route towards a goal.

If you take every failure personally as proof that the universe is conspiring against you, your creating a negative self-fulfilling prophecy. Additional disappointments are much more likely to come to the forefront as this is your expectation.  Indeed, your manifesting the same type of negative events you’re focusing on, and don’t wish to happen.

It’s easier to cope with failure when you realize its universal, and not only directed your way. As the hackneyed expression goes, “The only people who don’t fail are those who don’t try.”

6) Make peace with failure – I’ve pointed out the necessity to keep going forward, come what may. But as you persevere in the storm, protect yourself with this thought:

Success is not the be-all, end-all. It may feel as though it’s imperative to come out on top, but remind yourself it’s going to be alright if you’re not victorious. You can still be a happy and well-adjusted person even in the midst of repeated failures.

Try the psychological technique of positive reframing to see the worthwhile attributes of failure. For example, you may learn which methods are ineffective, and get clues to  better strategies.  Moreover, failure may lend itself towards helping you create more realistic goals, if applicable.

Aside from seeing the positives of an undesirable outcome and know it is not a matter of life and death, you can make peace with failure by first making peace with yourself. This starts by loving yourself unconditionally.

7) Be kind to yourself – My grandmother would always share this loving expression with me, “Be kind to yourself.” You, too, should take my grandmother’s advice.

Chronic failure naturally and inevitably can cause wear and tear on the psyche. Regret, disappointment, and frustration can easily impact physical health as well.

So to better deal with life’s downs, do something every day that uplifts you. Of course, individual preferences vary. Decide how to best heal yourself. You may decide to go to a scenic beach, see a funny movie, or spend quality time with friends.

This does not mean to suggest that you’re running away from problems. You’re just taking a welcome respite to reenergize and recuperate from downward spirals.

Being kind to yourself also entails watching your internal dialog, replacing negative self-talk with more compassionate and loving messages.

You can’t allow failure to impact the quality of your life.

______________________________________________________________

In the final analysis, you can have a winning, joyful life even if failure continues to crop up.  Failure does not have to lead towards failure to thrive.

I’ve listed several coping mechanisms to deal with incessant failure, and ways to rethink any negative experience. Stick-to-itiveness, resiliency, persistence, and self-love are admirable traits that can be developed over time.

In the interim, stop labeling yourself, believing that you’ve let yourself and other people down. Stop evaluating yourself based on societal judgments of what you or someone of your age and experience should be accomplishing.

Do the best you can and realize that “We’re guests of existence,” as my grandfather used to tell me. We’re here for such a short time so we should be totally engaged in the process of life, not on any given outcome.

Motivational speaker and best-selling author, Denis Waitley, provides some empowering thoughts on the matter:

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

Here’s to doing something and being someone special! Remember, the path towards greatness is riddled with an abundance of failure.

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/losing-game-life-7-ways-cope-chronic-failure/

12 Lifestyle Factors That Make You Feel Depressed

Many clients come to me believing there is “something wrong” with them. They believe they’re fundamentally flawed, or they're making a last-ditch attempt at life, often with plans to end theirs if things don’t improve. However, more often than not, the root of their depression is not a biochemical imbalance or a life-sentence. Rather, it’s a result of one or more of the following:

1. Isolation

Of all the research out there, social connection is one of the most proven ways to prevent and cure depression. However, the problem is that depression will often tell us we’re no fun and nobody wants to hang out with us, leading us back to isolation. Acknowledge that the thought does not serve you and, given your current state, and reach out. Join a Meetup group, a team, or call an old friend.

2. Grief

Ever been through a breakup, lost a job, experienced the loss of a family member or pet, or found yourself out of school for the first time? All of these situations are thick with grief. If you’ve experienced a major transition or loss in the past year (or longer if you’ve suppressed your grief), chances are your depression might be tied to that. Grief mimics depression, so feeling unmotivated, low, irritable, disinterested in things you used to enjoy, disconnected, unable to focus, and experiencing disturbances in your sleep and diet are likely related to your adjustment to the transition or loss.

3. Sleep-deprivation

Ever noticed how much more fragile and lethargic you are after a bad sleep? Exhaustion affects our mood, our energy levels, and our cognitive functioning. The problem is, depression can cause sleep disturbances, so it can become a vicious cycle. Speak with your therapist about ensuring proper sleep hygiene, learning cognitive behavioural strategies for managing insomnia, and, if you believe you might have a sleep disorder, consider getting a referral to a sleep specialist. Some sleep disorders are highly-correlated with depression.

4. Missing meaning

From an existential perspective, we require meaning in our lives for happiness. According to Viktor Frankl, we can find this meaning through work, relationships (romantic and otherwise), helping others, learning, creative endeavours (e.g. writing, music, art/design), and spirituality, to name a few. If you’re in a career you despise, or feel “lost” in life, depression has likely come about to tell you that the way you’re living your life does not align with your values and desires. Take it as a positive sign that change needs to happen, and consider how your life would look if you felt fulfilled in some (or all) of the aforementioned areas.

5. A critical inner voice

Imagine how worthless you’d feel if you had a verbally-abusive friend, partner, or parent beside you at all times. Well, this is how it is for many people who are highly self-critical. Pay attention to your internal voice. What’s its flavor? If you find you’re saying things to yourself that you would never say to a friend, it’s time to make a change. Several studies have shown that learning self-compassion can be an effective intervention in treating depression. Therapy can be a wonderful place to learn this language of healthy striving.

6. A lack of exercise

Along with social connection, exercise is another variable that is highly supported in its relationship to depression. There’s no need to join a CrossFit gym or to sign up for a marathon (although you can do that, too), but you’re likely to notice a difference in your mood from doing 20 minutes of yoga on your lunch hour, or getting out for a walk around the block after work. No time? Combine it with #1 and ask a friend to go for a walk.

7. Not enough nature

Recently, several studies have supported the benefits of “ecotherapy” or “green therapy” in treating depression. It fosters mindfulness and feelings of calm. When’s the last time you got outside and were surrounded by green? Try to fit this into your daily routine—even if it’s for only five minutes! If you live in a big city, make a point to hit up a park or shoreline.

8. Poor diet

More and more research is emerging that suggests nutrient deficiencies and food allergies are linked to depression. For example, studies have shown vitamins B and D are negatively correlated with depressed mood, while gluten is positively correlated (in those who suffer from intolerance). Every individual is different, but getting a blood test and seeing a naturopath, dietician, or holistic nutritionist might benefit you.

9. Stress

Studies have shown that chronic stress can lead to depression. Some stress is good, but when it outweighs coping, it might be a factor in why you’re feeling depressed. If you can’t cut some of your responsibilities, consider assessing where the expectations you feel are coming from (i.e. someone else, or yourself), and take some of the pressure off. Permit yourself to lower your expectations for performance, make mistakes, quit, and ask for help. In other words, stop treating yourself like a machine and let yourself be a human being.

10. All work & no play

Many people are under the (false) impression that once we reach adulthood we no longer need or deserve “fun.” Or that we’re only allowed to have “fun” once our work is done. Well, given the fact that there will ALWAYS be something more to do—another bill to pay, another project to complete, or another load of laundry to do—chances are you’re setting yourself up for a life that’s not very enjoyable. Allow yourself to carve some time out of your daily schedule to do something you enjoy. This could be an activity, or it could be lying on the couch watching Netflix.

11. Imbalanced hormones

Imbalances or deficiencies in estrogen, progesterone, and cortisol are all correlated with depression. Consider checking out these areas to ensure the depression you’re experiencing is not related to one of these!

12. Not dealing with emotions

We have primary and secondary feelings. Primary feelings are the ones that we feel at the core—for example, sadness or anger, anxiety or loneliness. Secondary feelings what we feel when we judge ourselves for having the primary feelings. Imagine you’re feeling depressed, but then you beat yourself up for feeling depressed and tell yourself you’re broken and need to stop feeling depressed. Now you’re not just feeling depressed; you’re also feeling shameful, pressured, and frustrated. By giving yourself permission to feel the feelings that come up (whatever they may be) with compassion and without judgment, you may notice a weight lifted off your shoulders.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12880/12-lifestyle-factors-that-make-you-feel-depressed.html