The Miracle We Make

I lifted the title from thinking of the Smokey Robinson song "Why Do Happy Memories Hurt So Bad" and his old group The Miracles, I hope you like what comes. We cannot live in the past, the future is a definite promissory note, but the present is cold, hard cash. I saw a couple of friends of mine walking down the street while I was volunteering out in the field the other day. I will not use the last names, but their names are Lisa and Michael. A few years ago, I spoke to Lisa on the phone, and she did me the best favor anyone could have done for me at that time. We did not talk about the past at all, happy or sad, but we did talk about the present, and we let the future be and then we put down the phones happy. I understand and I get it. Life at its best is when we are present to ourselves and living it right without fear, fillers or lamentations. In fact, courage is the miracle we make, productivity is the wonder when it is good, and when we take care of business genuinely, it is most satisfying.

Reality, to be excellent, must be lived in with present consciousness, it cannot be totally habitual or hackneyed. "The Original Now" is what I was going to title this article, but I figured that "The Miracle We Make" was more catchy, simpler and more understandable which brings me to a point: We cannot live in the past, we must make the present good though, to have good past memories instead of bad ones to fuel a great future, and that all starts now, incidentally. After all, we are the winners we make ourselves or the losers we default to be. All of the best people on earth are self-made. Call me an "esoteric romantic", but it is never too late to mend our present ways and make a good past and future, anyhow. Also, I am an eternal and unchangeable optimist about it all. That goes deep with me. Even when I feel bad, I deeply work on myself to be genuinely better.

After all, open-minded thinking and understanding is always capable of growth and further expansion like "why" and "how" are always more important than "when" and "where" for the "what" of it all depends on the "why" and "how", the "when" and "where" are just temporal details, because when you have a strong enough "why", everything else falls into place. Take out of this articles the value you may, but I hope it helps you focus better in the present and be present to yourself.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Miracle-We-Make&id=9883540

Message From the Universe: Nothing Good Comes From Looking Into Your Past!

"From where I sit, it is a mystery to me how so many can look back on their past with pride, yet frown with disappointment at their present. Somehow forgetting that back then, they were just as self-critical, while somehow missing that today they've never, ever, been so close to all they've ever wanted.

Historical dyslexia?

Possibly,

The Universe"

When looking at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? Are you proud with what you see? Would you hope to be in a better place in your life? Do you feel empty inside, and not because you are single, but because you weren't able to achieve all your dreams? Do you think there is a better version of you out there, in a parallel Universe, or maybe on that same planet you live in, YOU can better yourself? Whatever the answer to these questions comes to mind, you are the one who will come up with the best probable answer. It is not about living in your past, about how much money you made, about how great relationships you had and have lost, how this or that with the purpose of comparing your past life with your present life. Why this torture? Will that be productive for you to endeavor on the "should have" approach to life. It is the past so it is important that you leave it behind.

You made choices and it is important to realize that living with these choices is a must for you to move forward with what you want to do from this point forward. There is always a better option when you weigh them all. If you chose this path, that is because that path was the best available then. It is possible that today, that same path taken 10 years ago might not render the same outcome, but this is why it is crucial to always update your goals and dreams. They will always change so why shouldn't you? Keep yourself learning more and always be eager to become better as a person. In reality, this is the ONLY thing you can control in life. You can't avoid sickness, or financial disaster, or loss of family members, or whatever else that can slam at you like a massive tidal wave. You need to come to realization that whatever effort or work you put into something can render various results that can be hard to predict. However, the effort you put in to become a better person will provide you with a lifelong level of peace and satisfaction. Learn to work on yourself first and everything else will follow.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Nothing-Good-Comes-From-Looking-Into-Your-Past!&id=9640833

The Art of Noticing: 3 Steps for Returning to Center

My mind is going a million miles a minute, in a dozen directions. As I lie on the yoga mat, I think:

"Stay here."

I manage it for 3-4 seconds and then I'm off on some thought train.

"Find your Stillness."

Yes, for 3-4 seconds more, and off again.

When meditating each morning, I count my breaths. I'm lucky if get to 5 before I lose track and have to start over. As I count, I'm present. I feel the breath come in and out. Then... I'm not.

That's the point. To notice and come back.

To return to center.

On the mat... and in life.

5 Steps for Returning to Center:

1) Notice you're not.

This is the first and most important step. If you don't notice, you'll never get to the others. Because of this, you want to notice with a smile. "Ah!" As Pema Chodron says, "I take delight." You are already returning to center -- just by noticing.

You want to get really good at this first step.

2) Transform Uncentered Moments Into Centering Practices

All the things that are uncentering now -- make each one a centering practice.

• That difficult person, the one who takes your center and runs away with it. "Ah! Thank you very much for this opportunity to practice." For 5 seconds -- can you center that long around this person? 10 seconds? When you make it interesting for yourself, you will begin to look forward to being in this person's presence so that you can practice.
• The driver who forgets to signal, drives too slow (or too fast!), who cuts you off. "Ah! Thank you very much for this moment. I have a choice. I can get hooked by this emotion or I can breathe, center and return to equanimity."
• Bad weather is one of my favorite teachers. Or unexpected frustrations. Being caught without my raincoat or my sense of humor. Once you notice, it is only and always a choice. All that is required is intention.

3) Practice Gratitude: Accept What Is

In the beginning, when I was first learning the art of centering, I would become disgruntled and angry with myself when I forgot to center, when I missed a ki moment that could have turned out so differently... if only... And, of course, I became even more uncentered.

I've learned to center sooner, to smile at myself more often, and to take myself less seriously. You can, too.

One of my favorite mantras is: Thank you very much. When I say this, I look for the gift that is usually present but that I'm missing by attaching myself to some other desire, by resisting what is. This is another way I have of returning to center.

One of my favorite quotations by Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of Aikido, is this:

Practice the Art of Peace in a vibrant and joyful manner.

Good ki!

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Art-of-Noticing:-3-Steps-for-Returning-to-Center&id=8543042

Noticing - Deliberate Embodiment in the Present (By Melanie McGhee, L.C.S.W.)

It's not generally easy for us human beings to adopt new habits. One thing that helps is to make them easy. Noticing is a habit made easy by my seventh grade teacher and Dick Olney.

Living in Turkey, it was natural to hear the call to worship several times a day. A teacher at the time invited our class to pause whenever we heard it, be quiet, still our bodies and notice. That stuck. When I moved back to the states, sirens and red lights and now the sound of an airplane overhead invites that same pause -modern mindfulness bells.

Long before mindfulness was as accessible as it is today, Dick Olney occasionally talked about noticing practice. He taught how noticing practice can help us "Think in other categories." What he meant by thinking in other categories is to wake up, to wake up from the bad dream of who we think we are IN ANY GIVEN MOMENT.

Woman: What I really want is to love, value and appreciate who I really am.

Dick: What about just experiencing it?

(Excerpted from Alive and Real)

Noticing is a practice like that, an invitation into becoming aware of your experience in the moment. This awareness is an invitation in gradual expansions in acceptance. For acceptance is free from the pull of liking or disliking. The awareness that comes from noticing without the inhibition of judgment, criticism or evaluation is liberated from clinging to some idea of good or bad, right or wrong, pleasant or unpleasant.

Noticing practice can also be an antidote to apathy or pain. You may find yourself savoring the floating moments of time - but that is NOT the goal. The goal is to simply notice.

I took to heart Dick's teaching not to wait until you are in the middle of a fire to practice a fire drill. This idea struck a chord with me. I had been a dancer for about 20 years, practiced yoga and meditation for several years by the time I met Dick. Practice makes sense to me.

Though I do meditate, my noticing practice is not a formal sit down mindfulness meditation kind of practice, but a walking around and pausing to experience life in this moment kind of practice. The savoring of life's floating moments happens unbidden, surprising me. It's a habit that bears fruit in the most surprising places.

Of course, noticing involves acceptance. The more complete the experience of acceptance is, the more interesting I find the noticing and vice versa. It can become a pleasant game of acceptance. Practicing acceptance in this way becomes alive.

In the beginning, it is useful to put your attention to various elements of life generally thought to be noxious, like smelly garbage. Ask yourself, "can I accept this?" Remember, you don't have to like it, you don't have to somehow agree that "it" is OK. The question is "can I accept this?"

Practicing with inanimate objects can have an effect when you encounter another person who you judge as somehow not good or OK, somehow less than OR greater than. First, accept that you are judging them (and you). Then, practice accepting them in that moment. Your acceptance does not mean that you like or approve. It means you can accept that they are present.

For a more disciplined approach to noticing practice, try these tips:

• Set a reminder on your phone or watch every couple of hours or so. You could use an app like CHILL that has inspirational quotes.
• If you spend a lot of time in the car, use stop lights and stop signs to notice.
• For 30 seconds to 1 minute pause, notice. Become aware. Notice your thoughts. Notice the images around you, emotions in the moment and body sensations. Take a few easy breaths. Just noticing.
• Don't aim to find something to appreciate. Linger as you like.
• Simply notice the creation. Notice without the inhibition of judgment, criticism or evaluation.
• Notice your thoughts.
• Notice your breath.
• Use your senses - what are you seeing, feeling, hearing, tasting - what are you sensing?

Practice for a few days. Then share your experience AND your challenges.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Noticing---Deliberate-Embodiment-in-the-Present&id=9863218

Transition Times - 3 Timely Tips for Mindful Gifts

Transitions are challenging because they can be disruptive and disorienting. But the mindful navigation of transitions offers opportunities to spin those challenges into profound gifts.

That's why it's so important to open to the fullest possible awareness of your feelings and your needs as you move through life transitions.

And when I speak about life transitions, I don't mean just the really big ones. ANY transition is going to challenge your equilibrium. And yet, when we are mindful and present to our changes, they offer opportunities for growth and insight that enrich us mightily!

Mindful Transitions - 3 Timely Tips 

The following tips are proven guidelines that you can adapt for yourself, depending on the particular life transition you are facing.

1. Don't assume you fully understand a life transition, even if you have read or heard about it before.

If you are experiencing a common life transition such as the birth of a child or moving to a new community, it's vital to know that you will experience the transition in your own unique way. Be mindful of your needs. Consider how you personally respond to stress and to challenge, and factor this into your plans when faced with change.

2. Define your life transition from your perspective.

Here's where you dig a little deeper. Take 10 or 15 minutes each day to describe your personal response to the change you're in the midst of. Start with writing down key words and phrases that describe what you are experiencing physically and emotionally. As you proceed through the life transition, reflect on what you have described. Modify it as your understanding grows and deepens.

3. Remember that your life experience also affects the people closest to you.

Even though your experience of a life transition is unique to you, your response inevitably touches others. Be sure to be mindful of what your family, your friends, and your co-workers may be experiencing as you realign priorities and meet new demands. Be aware of the impact of those changes on other people. Where appropriate, have a discussion with them. Involve those closest to you in the decisions you make that also affect them.

BONUS TIP: Bring understanding and acceptance to yourself as your behavior shifts in unexpected ways.

Remember that you usually enter into a life transition without any direct experience to guide your decisions. Be mindful and patient as you navigate this newness.

Through learning about yourself and others during this transition time, you will grow in a way that builds a solid base for future changes.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Transition-Times---3-Timely-Tips-for-Mindful-Gifts&id=9535816

The Messy Multitasker

There are a plethora of articles that support or condemn multitasking. Some say it takes 23% longer to finish one item when you multitask. Others say the brain is evolving and could potentially compartmentalize tasks simultaneously, like a computer. While both comments may have merit, there is an aspect of multitasking that is almost never discussed. That is the conversational multitasker.

The conversational multitasker is one who listens to another person as they reference their experience and knowledge to understand or validate what the speaker is saying. This is multitasking because the listener is actually listening to two conversations simultaneously. They are listening to what the speaker is saying and they are listening to their interpretation, which is a conversation about what the speaker is saying.

While many may acknowledge this process, it is difficult to distinguish the amount of conversations happening in the mind of the listener. For example, if the speaker talks about the color blue, the listener may have flashbacks of the midnight blue car their dad drove when they were young. The memory could evoke great feelings of their dad driving and the fascinating views the listener saw while in the car.

Furthermore, when the listener is listening to their experience in their mind about their dad's blue car, they are living in the past. As they relive the past, they are not present to the present - the speaker. This form of multitasking causes the listener to miss part of what the speaker is saying. As a result, the outcome can often be miscommunication. In the worst case, it can turn into an argument.

At the same time, the listener may not be very interested in what the speaker has to say. He or she may only be interested in what they agree or disagree with. Therefore, they may not be listening to the words of the speaker. They are simply listening to a representation of what the speaker is saying. In other words, if the speaker says things that match the listeners past experience or education, it is likely the listener will agree with the speaker. The opposite holds true for disagreement.

In the event the listener has no point of reference for what is being said to him, he may not know if he can agree or disagree. He may elect to ignore it. Or he may go into a state of confusion. One way to defend being in a state of confusion is to disagree with the speaker and insist the speaker is incompetent on the subject. To do this, the listener must run a list of conversations in his or her mind to determine how to respond to the confusion, all the while not fully listening to what is being communicated by speaker.

As you can see, the conversational multitasker can be a messy job. He can ruin great relationships simply because he tries to understand everything through that which he already understands. This is problematic because no one knows everything. If he encounters something that is outside of his experience or knowledge, he may try to make it fit what he already knows. Or she may invalidate it.

Some of you may be thinking to yourself: "that's just your point of view". The moment you have that conversation with yourself, you have engaged in conversational multitasking. Any comment you make is predicated on what you already know, the past.

Perhaps children have an advantage. They do not have an extensive past. In some cases, they have no past to reference. Instead, children take every experience as an opportunity to learn something new. They don't compare new information to the past. They simply understand what is occurring in front of them for what it is.

As for adults, the power comes when you can distinguish your conversational multitasking. The moment you do you will have the power of choice. You can continue to choose to listen to your past. Or you can hear what is being communicated to you with nothing added.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Messy-Multitasker&id=9494263

Anger: Let It Go

When we fully feel, experience and are present with an emotion, it only lasts for short periods of time (minutes to hours).

But what about the person who always seems to be angry, depressed, grumpy or in a bad mood? They have turned what is an emotion into a state. A state is created by the mind when you replay things over and over again.

When we watch a bad movie, do we watch it again and again? Of course not! So why would you replay a 'bad' event in your life over and over again in your head? All it serves to do is to reinforce the emotion over and over again.

Here are some strategies my patients and I have found helpful in letting go of bad states:

• Write and journal your feelings. If it was a person who angered you, write them a letter. Once you've gotten everything out on paper. Burn it or throw it away.

• If you are feeling the need to move or hit something, try a punching bag or a pillow. That way, you get exercise at the same time. It's also a positive way to release stored up energy.

• Try meditation to calm your mind. There are great app's like Headspace that teach beginners how to meditate.

• Try something new. Take up a new hobby, sport, etc. Channel your emotions into something positive and creative.

• Focus on things that you have control over. You are in charge of the way you feel, how you react and your perspective on a situation. You can't control how someone else reacts. Recognize where you can make changes and work in those areas.

• Find a friend and ask for 5 minutes to rant. After 5 minutes, your time is up and you move on.

• Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Perhaps they were having a bad day before they met you, maybe there's too much on their plate or they are overworked and stressed. How often have you acted out in times of stress?

• Forgive. Picture them in your mind and say to them "I forgive you".

• Identify the lesson. In each situation, you can learn something about yourself or life. Ask yourself, what is the lesson here? If it was someone else that triggered your anger, ask yourself, what buttons exist within you that were pushed? Do you have a need to be right? An expectation of being perfect? Did you get upset because one of your expectations were not met?

• If you are still having trouble letting go or something traumatic has happened to you, please come in for a consult or seek further help.

Physical, emotional and mental tension that is not resolved gets stored in your body. Over time, you run out of 'storage space' and secondary conditions such as pain, can occur. Learn to optimize your nervous system by letting go.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Anger:-Let-It-Go&id=9478994

Do You Need To Hit The "Re-Set" Button In Your: Career, Business, Life Or A Relationship?

You would be amazed at how many people are living in a "default" mode and are in serious need of a "re-set" in some area of their life. Let me clarify.

You are cruising along at 70 MPH in cruise control and you enter a zone where the speed limit drops to 35 but you just keep barreling along at your current speed. Hello - are you ready for a speeding ticket or even worse - an accident?

So - what do normal people do? They "re-set" the cruise control to the current speed limit to avoid the above and then "re-set" it again once they have left the slower zone and the speed limit changes. I know - a simple concept however - imagine that you have the same philosophy when it comes to life, your career, your business or a relationship? You most likely won't get a ticket if you don't "re-set" but worse things can happen if you stay in "default" mode not recognizing or accepting that some changes are necessary to live a successful, contented and joyous life.

What is "default" mode? Basically it's operating on autopilot where all actions, decisions and behavior are based on only previous experiences or outcomes and fails to integrate current reality or circumstances in a rational or new way into our now. It's when we let our past drive our present without regard to how, when, why or what we could do differently, better, smarter or easier to have a major influence on our current actions and therefore potential better outcomes or consequences.

What is "re-set" mode? Re-set mode is when you learn from the past but don't let it dictate your present or future. You are willing to let new thinking, mindsets and behaviors have their role or purpose in your life. It's when you are willing to accept and let new approaches, opportunities or circumstances blend into your actions, choices, behavior and decisions to hopefully achieve different or better results. You are not stuck in the past regardless of whether it was negative or positive. You are open to new ways of thinking, evaluating and considering. A "re-set" is simply refusing to permit previous choices, mistakes, failures, actions or consequences to control or determine your present behavior.

Why do so many people refuse to "re-set" some area of their life and remain stuck in destructive habits, relationships or behaviors that lack fulfillment or careers where they struggle every day to achieve success or achievement or even a certain level of satisfaction? Not to mention how many businesses need to re-evaluate - policies, products, services, markets, customer focus or any number of dysfunctional traits that prevent continued and sustained growth and profits.

I could answer this with a 200-page book but I'm sure you have better things to do so I'll limit it to the five basics.

1) Fear - the fear of consequences when making changes, the fear of the unknown, the fear of losing control, the fear of others' opinions or judgements of you, the fear you won't have the resources, time, patience or passion to make a successful change - get it - some form of fear is the primary driver in your life.

2) Ego - the unwillingness to accept you are not perfect, you are always right, you know best in all situations, the need to look good and appear smarter and more successful to others, a lack of humility - get it - self-righteousness.

3) Approval - the need for the approval of others, the fear of rejection, the desire to be liked.

4) Control - the need to feel you are in control of all things, all relationships all outcomes at all times no matter the circumstances.

5) Pride - the ability to not be the smartest person in the room - whether the boardroom or the bedroom, an unwillingness to accept that you will never know it all, be it all, have it all.

Yes, I could go on but I promised to stop here so let me ask you - is there some area in your life, career, business or a relationship that needs to be "re-set"? If so, why are you waiting?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Need-To-Hit-The-Re-Set-Button-In-Your:-Career,-Business,-Life-Or-A-Relationship?&id=9388685