How To Honor Your Sensitivity

Being sensitive means many things. As a sensitive, empathic person myself, I know how painful it can be to feel or see certain things more deeply than other people. Over the years I have learned how to manage my sensitivity so that it has transformed into a gift I truly embrace. It's this process that I share with my clients and students.

If you're a sensitive person, you might notice that when others' don't share your depth of experience, you wind up feeling misunderstood, or even excluded. You might have heightened sensitivities to noise, smell, foods, and environment. If so, these sensitivities can easily contribute to feelings of weakness, illness, and irritability.

In addition, by believing society's negative critique of sensitivity, you might think that you're wrong for being 'so sensitive'. Nothing could be further from the truth!

What's important for a sensitive person, is to take steps to honor your sensitivity so that it transforms from something painful into a true gift of beauty and strength.

Below are some key steps to turn your sensitivity into a gift that will enrich your life, over and over again.

Understand Your Sensitivity - Understand that if you are one of the estimated 20% of folks with heightened sensitivity, you have a nervous system that feels things more deeply than most. This means that you need to care for yourself differently than someone without your depth of sensitivity. Get to know yourself better. Read up on the different aspects of sensitivity - there are a number of good books on the topic. Understanding yourself will help you increase feelings of self-acceptance. And, self-acceptance is key to honoring your sensitivity.

Get Clear About What Feels Right for You - We're often brought up to believe that we 'should' enjoy certain experiences that others enjoy. Getting clear on what feels right for you might mean you don't go to that party, or you opt for one or two good friends over a group of friends. Get clear about your 'shoulds' versus your true desires. Trust your intuition to help you find the right balance for you.

Honor Your Need for Downtime - Sensitive people need downtime. And, it can be easy to implement. Treat yourself to a peaceful nature walk, or sit quietly in a darkened room. A quick nap can do wonders to calm an overwhelmed mind and nerves. Throughout each day, allow for short periods of downtime. Regular breaks of just 5 minutes each can make a profound difference.

Create Self-Care Rituals - As a sensitive person, you likely lead a rich inner life. Honor it by nourishing it. Meditation, music, art, yoga, salt baths, and mind-body therapies are all wonderful tools to help you nourish your creative, intuitive soul.

Get Enough Sleep - Because sensitive people take in more information, more deeply, they need more sleep than people who are not highly sensitive. This means a daily minimum of 8 hours of sleep, preferably 9. If you have trouble sleeping, be sure to create a soothing bedtime ritual. Eliminate stimulants, and forgo electronics at least 1-2 hours before bed. Know that by just closing your eyes, you will help to calm and replenish your nervous system.

Take steps to honor your sensitivity. It's a divine gift. And it's a gift our world needs now.

In Courage,

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Honor-Your-Sensitivity&id=9930103

You Cannot Fully Understand A Person's Need Until You Have Endured The Same Need

As hard as you may try to understand other people's situation and suffering, you'll fall short unless you go through the same circumstance. You will find it hard to understand their needs but if you are sensitive enough to feel what they feel, I am sure there is no problem expressing your empathy rather than your sympathy.

When you put yourself on other people's shoes, you also feel their emotions like being angry, sad, hurt and excluded. Being able to predict how other people might feel is a part of emotional intelligence (EQ ), a skill we can all develop with practice. When we understand how other people are likely to feel, it can guide our interactions and dealings with them.

By nature, people are extremely self-centered. Everyone tries to look at a situation from their own perspective hardly empathizing any situation and try to look at it from the other side. Sometimes we just fail to comprehend the situation because we make decisions quicker than we thought. Our peripheral vision is blurred due to our easy to 

judge behavior.

When we understand other people's feelings, it actually requires a threshold level of empathy to even be aware of what others feel. Most of us are not able to understand other people's feelings. We are too preoccupied with our own shortcomings that we failed to notice that there are still other beings out there who suffered more than we've been through.

Though life is a matter of choice; our willingness to listen and understand other's predicament can help boost their morale. This is easier said than done. In reality, we are quick to make assumptions without digging deeper what makes them act or do such foolish actions that made them suffer than satisfied.

I can understand that it is really difficult to feel what other people feels because some people are not willing to listen. We just need to regard people not on what they do but what their situation is because when it comes to understanding others, we seldom use our heart. Most often than not, we use our mouth to speak harsh words to others rather than let our emotions speak the truth.

We are more considerate when we listen with our hearts than our ears. We need to learn how to accept our mistakes before we can understand the mistakes of others. Most sensible people understand. But it does not mean that they are mean. It just happened that they focused mostly on themselves rather than on other people.

People who regularly have outbursts of anger, depression or flamboyant enthusiasm are generally frowned upon in their childhood experience. There are some children who suffered emotional trauma in their formative years because of parents' neglect. True, we have to be patient in understanding their situation but it doesn't mean that we are going to tolerate such display of inappropriate behavior. If they are not corrected right now, then they will become liabilities of the society than assets.

But never ever assume everything is fine just because someone isn't having a nervous breakdown. We all have our individual problems, angst and upsets in life. We just have to be sensitive with the underlying currents that made them who they are. It gives us an advantage in trying to help.

Emphatic understanding is very important especially if we want to know what others have been through.

http://ezinearticles.com/?You-Cannot-Fully-Understand-A-Persons-Need-Until-You-Have-Endured-The-Same-Need&id=9774840

How to Make Sad People Happy

Everyone knows what it feels like to be sad. Things happen in life, and sometimes it is completely out of our control. These events may cause distress or unhappiness. It's perfectly normal.

Does everyone know what it feels like to be happy? At some stage in our life, we have all experienced joy or pleasure in whatever shape or form. This feeling can stem from entertainment, accomplishment or being content. This is also quite normal.

Making someone else happy is one of the most selfless acts there is, and can be highly rewarding. What's even better is that it can become contagious. Putting a smile on a person's face can have the same effect on you, as it does for them. Let's now discuss how to cheer people up when they are feeling down.

Identify the source of unhappiness

Before you do anything, you want to find out why a person is feeling sad. It could be something someone said, or a poor decision they made. Maybe they know someone who is sick or has passed away. What's important is that you clearly identify the source of this sadness.

If it's a family or friend, you can talk to them and ask them up front how they are holding up. If you are very close with this person you may be able to figure it out. You could ask family or friends if they know, and not in a gossiping manner but rather with a caring approach. If this person is not a family or friend, it is difficult to know why they are sad. It's not always necessary to know why, but it does help.

Do something nice for them

Each situation will be different, but there is always something you can do to help. If you have identified the source of their unhappiness, it will be easy to come up with a fitting gesture. Try to approach them in a friendly manner, or even crack a joke if you see it as appropriate. It has to be said, the sadder the person is, the more sensitive you will have to be in your approach. It is therefore a matter of using your common sense.

To help you understand, I will give 3 examples.

1. You're a student and see a fellow pupil who you don't know too well looking sad, or perhaps a teacher is distressed. You may not know why, but it's easy to help. Say hello to them in the corridor and ask them how they are. Or even hold the door open for them.

2. Your best friend's mum is in hospital. It's clear to identify the source of sadness, in this case you need to be sensitive and caring. Spend time with your friend, make the effort to visit them as often as you see fit to see how they are. Offer to take them out for lunch, or watch a movie. Taking their mind off the situation can help but it really does depend on the matter.

3. Your little brother/sister gets awfully quiet and stays in their room for long periods of time, refusing to speak to anyone. I suggest you first ask them in a casual way if they are okay, and if it is a rather small matter they may explain. If it's more emotional they might pretend that they are okay. In either case, a kind gesture should be easily thought of. What interests your brother/sister, and do they have any hobbies? Spend time doing the activities that they enjoy, with them. Treat them to their favourite meal, or take them for an ice cream. You should know what entertains them.

A kind gesture can go a long way

Make the effort to cheer someone up. Most of the time you would want someone to do the same for you. Put your feet in their shoes, and you will find that it's relatively easy to help them out. And of course, always be sure to smile!

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Make-Sad-People-Happy&id=9399773

The Blessings of Shyness

Sure, there's a shadow side, but you don't have to succumb to it.

Have you ever been told that you’re shy? Growing up, did you hear admonitions like, “Don’t be bashful"?

You’re not alone.

In our extroverted society, being assertive, if not aggressive, is valued. Being introverted

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, reflective, or shy tends to be denigrated.

Is shyness a bad thing or something to value about ourselves?

Shyness or Social Anxiety?

Terms such as “social phobia” and “social anxiety disorder

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” refer to situations in which a person experiences significant fear and distress in social situations. Physical symptoms might include excessive blushing, sweating, or trembling. There may be an avoidance of situations that trigger emotional distress or humiliation.

Although there may sometimes be an overlap, being shy doesn’t equate 

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with social anxiety. Shyness is a quality that is simply part of being human. Judging ourselves for being shy adds a layer of shame onto a very tender and even desirable aspect of ourselves.

Shyness and Vulnerability

Most of us feel shy at times; some of us are just more adept at covering it up with defences. Perhaps the smooth-talking, charming storytellers at parties are hiding a deeper vulnerability. They want to look good so that they’ll be liked. And it may be difficult for us to feel a connection with people who conceal the shy, tender part of themselves.

Being shy implies that we’re sensitively attuned to our environment. As our antenna scans for safety, we shy away from those who seem critical or judgemental. There may be an intelligence that informs such shyness, steering us clear of unsafe people and situations.

When someone offers a compliment or affection—or when you meet someone you’re attracted to—do you feel a little shy? Rather than seeing that shyness as a weakness, can you embrace it?

From the perspective of attachment theory, shyness might be seen as part of our longing for connection and acceptance. Being gentle with our vulnerability, we might honor shyness as a doorway to a sweet moment of connection, as expressed in my book, The Authentic Heart:

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"If you experience shyness, consider it a blessing. Shyness is an entrance into a tender fold within your authentic heart … If you can allow yourself to experience shyness when it arises—if you can gently turn your attention toward the place in your body that feels this shyness—then it becomes a friend, not a threat. Embraced shyness transforms into sweetness … As your tolerance for shyness grows, there are greater possibilities for breakthroughs into the exhilarating pleasure of connecting."

The Shadow Side of Shyness

The shadow side of shyness is that we might distance ourselves from people before giving them a chance. If we were often shamed or rejected, we might see the world through the distorted lens of old hurts and assume people are unsafe without checking them out. At the first hint of being criticized, we might succumb to the knee-jerk reaction of diverting our eyes or shutting down. We might judge others as being unsafe before interacting with them.

To move forward, perhaps we should give people a chance. This would require that we stay present with our shyness without reacting automatically. Developing a stronger sense of self, we recognize that it’s OK to be shy and sensitive; if others are harsh or shaming, this says more about them than about us. Not allowing others to define us, we hold onto our self-worth and dignity. We protect ourselves by meeting what comes our way with a more sturdy self.

Source: flickr image by photosavvy

Social anxiety might keep us clinging to the comfort of staying home, which can keep us isolated. This condition might improve with psychotherapy. Shyness, on the other hand, is something we can value about ourselves—and stroll into the world with a quiet dignity. Honoring our shyness as a sweet and tender part of ourselves, we can connect more easily, and less self-consciously, with people who appreciate us.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intimacy-path-toward-spirituality/201508/the-blessings-shyness

9 Signs You're A Highly Sensitive Person

Has anyone ever told you to calm down, stop being so sensitive, or not take things so seriously? I can say yes, yes, and yes without a blink of an eye. I was the sensitive one in my family, and I guess I still am. We all laugh about it now, because I can easily be brought to tears by so many different things.

I don't question what may be wrong with me any more, because when you live with people who don't show their emotions like you do, you think something's wrong with you. Age, along with the knowledge that 15-20% of the population is highly sensitive, helped me embrace my personality.

Since discovering that HSPs are such a large group of people, I've learned more about what it really means to be a highly sensitive person. There's much more to this trait than just crying easily.

Below are some common characteristics that people with HSP share; if you recognize these signs in yourself, you may be one too. I can personally relate to each and every one.

1. You're hyper aware of subtleties in their environment.

HSPs usually notice things that other people miss. Maybe it's a new haircut or furniture that's been rearranged. Sounds can startle them easily, and they're more sensitive to certain smells and fabrics.

2. You're easily affected by others' moods.

Everyone is affected by the moods of others, both positive and negative, but the effect is heightened in highly sensitive people. It's great if you're around positive people, but not so great when you're around people with heavy energy.

3. You become overwhelmed quickly.

If you ask an HSP to do too many things at once, she becomes overloaded and rattled. HSPs don't do well in chaotic or stressful situations. Many times highly sensitive people will arrange their lives to avoid overwhelming situations. If they end up in a chaotic environment, they'll probably find a quiet place to down-regulate their overly stimulated brain.

4. You take criticism to heart.

Criticism is part of life. But because highly sensitive people feel things more deeply, they'll hold onto criticism longer than someone not so sensitive. As a result, they tend to be people-pleasers, removing room for criticism. It's important to note that while they hold onto criticism, a compliment will go a long way.

5. You make compassionate friends.

Highly sensitive people are also very intuitive and feel deeply. They're able to empathize with people, to a point where you almost feel like they're going through what you're going through.

6. You're conscientious.

HSP's are very considerate with above-average manners. They're the first to notice when someone is rude or inconsiderate. They'll give up their seat on a bus or move out of the way on the sidewalk without even really thinking about it. It comes naturally to them.

7. You tend to avoid violent movies and TV shows.

Since HSP's rank high on the empathy scale, they tend to stay away from shows with violence or horror in them. They know negative news or violence will upset them, so they do what they can to avoid it.

8. You have a deep appreciation of art, music and nature.

Highly sensitive people are often deeply moved by the arts and nature. The natural beauty of nature is healing and calming to them. Oceans, rivers, and lakes give them a sense of comfort.

9. You don't feel very decisive.

Highly sensitive people think with their emotions. This, coupled with being acutely aware of subtleties and details, makes it harder for them to come to a decision. They can easily get upset if they make the wrong decision or poor choice.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-16215/9-signs-youre-a-highly-sensitive-person.html