Without Ego

When reading philosophical teachings and writings, I often wonder why the body and the ego are seen so negatively, as if they somehow are antithetical to spirituality. Although ego, body and mind are not all we are, each is part, an expression of the whole self, included in our precious gifts from God, the Universe, Life, Spirit. It would be as sensible to hate or degrade a mathematical problem given me by a teacher for learning purposes. Of course I can be frustrated in my efforts to solve a difficult problem; that is merely an expression of myeagerness to achieve. How much easier on me, however, to enjoy the puzzle, to marvel at my reasoning processes and their growth and development as I draw nearer, bit by bit, to the solution. Even so, frustrated or not, I learn.

There are those of us who love school, and those who hate it. Nevertheless, we are all in school. And the ego, the mind and the body are our major learning tools. Through them, we learn the concepts of attachment/detachment, freedom/responsibility, joy/pain, wisdom/ignorance. These concepts, once grasped and mastered, are our prerequisites for the next level of learning in which we are (perhaps) freed of body/ego and introduced to new tools.

If I reject my body, my ego, or my so-called negative emotions, I am rejecting myself. If I reject myself, I am rejecting a holy creation and gift. If I reject or denigrate integral parts of my self, then I am split, dysfunctional, not whole, and not comfortable in my body and with my sense of self. How much more joyful it is to regard my life as the finest Montessori School of all time, where the sandbox and mudpuddles offer learning experiences equally as rich and essential as do the books of poetry and lofty philosophy.

Without body:

We couldn't enjoy the many sensory and sensual experiences of this life

We wouldn't learn the invaluable lessons of getting obsessive about those experiences, and learning the self-control they teach us.

We would miss out on learning to love and cherish our brief moments on this planet, the fleeting nature of which is reflected back to us by the body's aging process.

We wouldn't be able to interact on a cellular level with the air, food, minerals, water, and the other beings, literally becoming one with the planet on a daily basis.

We would miss the powerful lessons we're learning right now, that if we pollute our environment, we pollute ourselves - physically, emotionally and spiritually.

We would not have the viceral (gut) experiences of the physical components of our emotion - the hormonally driven ecstasy and agony of emotional joy and pain.

We'd miss out on so much of artistic expression - dance, the musical beat that originally was born of heartbeat, sound, light, color, poetry, theater and all the rest of that exuberance.

Without ego:

We'd have no control over our emotions, and be battered around by them, like a ship in a stormy sea with no rudder.

We wouldn't be able to protect ourselves against others' emotions and feelings, and every little thing others said and did would cut us to the quick.

We wouldn't be able to make plans and follow through to reach goals

We couldn't keep ourselves going in a productive direction when obstacles come along

We'd have no sense of who we are, how we are the same or different from others, and we'd never learn the lessons of shared humanity.

As a psychologist, I seek to help people integrate all the components of ego, body, emotions, mind and spirit until they all work together in a healthy human way. Perfection is not the goal - healthy living is. When your body (with all its human flaws and imperfections) functions well, all its many cells, organs, hormones, fluids, muscles, bones, nerves and sinews cooperate and work together to help you experience and express your life. When your body, mind, spirit, emotions - and yes, your ego -- work together, spirit doesn't have to work against ego, ego doesn't have to work against spirit, and there's no internal fight - no struggle for supremacy, no inner denial or right/wrong battle. Each component does its part, and all work together to help you become the most shining example of who you are. That's what the old gospel song about "this little light of mine" and "inner light" or "inner spirit" means - when all of who we are works together, we are free to be the best of who we were born to be.

When I think of my body with all its billion miracles and exquisitely effective methods of expression both conscious and unconscious; with all its components of which I approve and those for which I have enough self-denial to disapprove - I am suddenly reminded to regard my whole self (body, mind, spirit, emotions, and ego ) with the awe,gratitude, and gentleness I deserve. I know I can count on all my component parts to help me through my lessons for when my body, my ego, or my feelings you insist I focus my attention I cannot deny them.

My Ego has a sharply focused viewpoint; boundless pride; a fine-tuned sensitivity to others' egos; and the ability to keep me focused: on my uniqueness (often auto-interpreted as weirdness); my responsibility to me; and my essential human aloneness. It is a precious, irreplaceable tool. When I can manage to see myself, not as a disparate collection of separate parts, but as an amazing, cohesive design of interconnected, finely designed components working smoothly together, I am filled with awe at the miracle of each one of us, myself included. When I stop trying to resist, resent, overpower, deny or ignore parts of myself, and instead seek to help the whole human package be the best I can be, I find myself as peaceful and joyful as I have ever been.

I sense that when the time cones to exchange my body/ego for new tools, I will feel bereaved. Let me not waste a moment of this opportunity to learn with such companions as I may not know again, my ego, my emotions, and my body!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Without-Ego&id=9863239

The Perils Of Comparison (By Tim Connor)

I can't tell you how many people I have met during my world travels when only after a few minutes of conversation they started comparing themselves to someone or something else. A competitor, a celebrity, a fellow employee or even someone they didn't even know.

Why do we need personal validation by comparison? Why do we need to feel better or worthier than others? And why can't we accept who we are, what we have accomplished, our flaws and mistakes, our failures and disappointments without the ego's need to compare and look better than others?

As a global speaker for many years I have observed this trait is especially true of many people in my profession, but believe me - we are not unique. I can't tell you how many business people I have met who have to tell some story about who they are better than, smarter than and/or more accomplished than others they know and even those they don't know in some way.

Trust me - you don't have to be the smartest, best looking, wealthiest or most famous person in the room to feel good about yourself. So why are so many people stuck in this comparison mode whether subtly or overtly "in your face"?

Not to brag here (that is not my intent) but I want to make a simple statement - during my career as an international bestselling author (over 80 books) and a global speaker (25 countries) my intent and goal was never fame and let me state that I have been very successful in achieving this goal. Go ahead laugh.

Life is not about what others think of you or you think of others. And if it is - trust me you will never find contentment, inner peace or happiness because there will always be someone out there smarter, better and wealthier etc. than you in some way - always!

Have you ever noticed that when people generally compare themselves to others they either use someone less successful or someone who they can criticize whether this person deserves it or not?

I can also tell you that many of my heroes - to mention just a few - Og Mandino, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Jesus, Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa and Charlie Tremendous Jones - comparison was not in their DNA.

What they all had in common was the humility and the desire to contribute in their own special way to the value of humanity and life in general.

Let me ask you - have you ever compared yourself to others to try and convince yourself that you were better in some way or just to make yourself feel OK about yourself? Come on - be honest here.

Why do we need to compare? Is it insecurity, an overcharged ego, the need for approval, the desire to please or simply the fact that we can't admit that we all have flaws and/or weaknesses in our thoughts, actions, decisions and behaviors in some way?

I challenge you for the next couple of weeks as you talk with others to observe their comparisons or your own during conversations and then ask yourself - why? Why do I need to do this? Why do they need to do this? Try it you will be amazed at how frequently we are all guilty of this simple yet rather stupid trait. Stupid you say Tim? Yep, cause what do you think you really accomplish with all of these comparisons?

More or less respect? More or less fame? More or less self-satisfaction? More or less something_______? Sorry!

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Perils-Of-Comparison&id=9865687

What Is the Worth of Your Life in Your Own Eyes?

My meditation teacher posed this question for contemplation.

My first reaction was, "Not much."

I mentally walked away from the whole subject.

Later, I came back to it to the question, and thought, "Wait a minute. Which part of me gave that answer?"

You already know that we have many different aspects within us, so my followup question was a valid one.

By asking this second question, I realized it was my Ego aspect responding. The Ego is very judgmental and thinks in terms of limitation. It sees itself as very small, and while at times it might arrogantly believe it's the biggest and best and deserves everything, this comes from a greedy place of one-upmanship.

The Ego is filled with negativity, too.

I remember reading, many years ago, the novel called, The Good Earth, by Pearl S. Buck. It takes place in China, in a culture where peasants were afraid of the gods. They were taught, and taught their children, to never give a compliment or saying anything positive about a child because it might offend the jealous gods. A jealous God had the power of life and death, and might cause the child to die.

This type of thinking comes from the Ego aspect.

So I asked myself again, "What is the worth of your life in your own eyes?"

This time, I heard my I Am Presence saying,

"You are of infinite worth because you are Infinite Consciousness. You are completely perfect and pure, and worthy of all things, all existence.

Your life is of great value to Infinite Consciousness and to others because you are an expression of the Divine Self, a part of that One Consciousness that contains all and expresses itself through All."

Can you feel the difference in the energy between this response and the first one?

This response feels expansive, and full of Light and Love. In my mind's eye, I can see it glowing. Can you?

The importance of this experience should not be minimized.

How we react to each event in our lives is our choice,

You can choose allow the Ego is run things.

OR

You can choose to take charge of what you think.

We can remind ourselves that the Ego is an artificial construct. We can remind ourselves that the Ego provides a false view of who we are and of reality.

Infinite Consciousness is who we are, and that perspective expresses the Truth.

So when you ask yourself, "What is the worth of your life in your own eyes?" what answer do you get?

Do you think in terms of how much money you earn or how many things you own?

Do you think in terms of what you look like physically?

Do you think in terms of how many friends you have or whether you are married or have children?

All thoughts like these are about the mundane world.

Your "worth" goes far beyond that, for beyond this or any lifetime.

Your worth is infinite, because you, the true you, is infinite.

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Is-the-Worth-of-Your-Life-in-Your-Own-Eyes?&id=10105800

Our Mysterious Self

Our self and our psyche are not identical. When we talk about self (or in another word, ego) we do not mean the whole psyche but only part of it, and when we talk about psyche we mean something wider than ego. The distinction between the two concepts is not clear-cut and most of us tend to identify ego as psyche and vice versa.

Even though there is much overlapping between ego and psyche (or in another word, consciousness), they are yet not identical. There is no specific area in the brain in which the self is located. It exists all over the brain contrary to conscious faculties that can be located and affected.

The fast paced progress in science has enabled the fine tuning of the distinction between psyche and self. In order to better understand the difference between the two concepts, let us ponder the issue in the light of modern research fields, such as computer science, brain and mental research and life sciences.

Consciousness and Ego according to Computer Science

The field of computers has come a long way in the development of artificial intelligence and the creation of humanoid robots. Yet, the development of psyche or consciousness for robots seems far-fetched. There is no doubt that computer science will be able to "instill" consciousness features into robots, such as incorporating all five human senses and teaching them to mimic human emotions, like love, hate, compassion, anger, disappointment, excitement, enthusiasm and others. It is possible to design robots that will express desires and have whims, or lend them various identities. In fact, it will be possible to implant in them almost all of the consciousness attributes and characteristics. However, such an advanced and sophisticated robot armed with all these features, will still behave artificially and will lack the most important element of consciousness that is the human ego.

We take the existence of self for granted since we do not know otherwise. We can learn from computer science that it is possible to have a case where there is a brain, that is there is a kind of consciousness, but there is no Self.

Consciousness and Ego in Brain and Mental Research

The notion that consciousness and self are one is based, inter alia, on the following phenomena:

a. Various personality disorders, such as multi personality disorder or personality collapse cases.

b. The mere fact that people can be hypnotized and can be led to believe they are not who they really are.

c. People who have lost their identity due to different causes and who are creating a new one.

d. Alzheimer and severe dementia patients with a deteriorating brain who have lost most of their conscious faculties.

e. People who had surgery that disconnected the two parts of their brain thus letting each side have independent desires and views of things.

If we look closely into all the above cases, we will find out that indeed the psyche or the consciousness in these people was seriously damaged. However, in no one of the above cases has the self been eliminated. The ego changed form or was divided but did not disappear. A person can believe he is someone else but his own ego does not stop existing. An Alzheimer patient who has lost most of his mental faculties still possesses his own ego which did not get lost. There is no human, no matter his mental and physical condition, who does not have his own self. Our self is preserved even when our brain or mind are seriously impaired as well as when consciousness is almost completely destroyed. Since the self is ubiquitous in the brain, it keeps on existing as long as there is a brain.

Consciousness and Ego in Light of Modern Sciences

According to life sciences, the body and consciousness make up a sophisticated system of biochemical algorithms. In any given second, a subjective experience elapses and another one emerges. No substance prevails from one moment to another and we only fancy having a continuous existence. In any given moment, the electro-chemical system in the brain produces a flash of experience that immediately disappears and gives room to a consecutive one and so on. This is why there is no "soul" or "self" that remains fixed from one flash to another. Man is made up of a collection of different systems similar to the layers in an onion (which were shaped by the environment). When peeled one by one nothing will be left.

A total opposite approach is presented by Raymond Kurzweil, who predicted the whole internet and cellular revolution and who owns intellectual rights to hundreds of patents. According to him, we are about to experience the golden age of nanotechnology which will enable us to reprogram biology so that our cells will remain always young and healthy. In his book "The Singularity is Near", he predicts an imminent and exponential technological leap which will lead us to a stage of singularity whereby we can transfer our memories and personalities to a computer that will store them. We will be capable of building bodies that constitute a hybrid of biology and machine to which we can transfer our essence and thus grant us an eternal life.

The Pure Ego

If, indeed, we are able to transfer our essence into external, younger, more intelligent and healthier bodies, there is no need then to transfer all of our psyche elements. Any negative features, personality disorders, past traumas, bad personal memories can be shed since they are not useful. In this manner, we could theoretically transfer only our pure ego to another body without any other consciousness components. It could flourish and develop, accumulate new pleasurable memories and a new consciousness in a premium body and a new identity which we have chosen.

The pure ego cannot exist without a body that carries it and allows it to realize itself. Lacking unique characteristics, it may not be different from any other pure ego. However, this does not mean we can eliminate its distinct existence. The fact that a drop of water looks like other infinite numbers of drops does not nullify its existence as a drop of water.

We have come a long way in the research and in the deciphering of many scientific mysteries, however we have not yet solved the riddle of our own self.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Our-Mysterious-Self&id=9534532

The 5 WAYS To Make People INSTANTLY RESPECT YOU | Lewis Howes

Is Humility Strength And Evidence Of High Self Esteem? (By Lance Winslow)

Some would say that an achieved humble man has high self-esteem as he doesn't have to prove anything to anyone. Yes, I can see that point, although that's not the end of the story and it is hardly the beginning either. Not long ago, I was discussing all this with a fellow think tank type mind and they noted an old famous quote:

"Humility is not thinking less of oneself, but thinking of oneself less. Humility is strength not indecision."

Sure, on the surface that does sound like a well-spoken piece of wisdom, but on second thought; is it so? You see, I humbly disagree. How is humility strength? It can be deceptive, hiding one's abilities, I guess deception can be viewed as holding back knowledge and knowledge is power, therefore considered strength - of course, I quite certain that the maker of that quote wasn't thinking about it in that way.

Kids are definitely not humble, they are very self-centered, it's always I, I, I and it is always about them or they cry. Why? Simple, it is natural for them to be that way. We say they need to grow up if they live their life in the first person, by growing up we mean taught or learn to appropriate behavior. Humility is taught, it is learned, it is not natural, it is nurture, and that's fine, but it is our (societies') enforcement upon the individual.

There is nothing wrong with Ego, or I, nothing at all, it's natural and normal and actually first-person thinking, there is nothing wrong with Ayn Rand's Objectivism either. We often attach more character to the humble one, but why? You may not like John Mac Enroe or his behavior on the tennis court, but you also can't touch his skills with a ten-foot pole either. Who is right, it's his life, and people are free to act as they will, in the US we have free speech, which also means tooting one's own horn in self-promotion.

You may not like Donald Trump or Richard Branson for their brashness and perceived megalomaniac style behavior, but since you are not a billionaire who are you to judge? Those who are humble and great may make us feel better about ourselves, and the powers-that-be less threatened, but that doesn't make it a virtue, it is not.

We are told not to judge another man until we walk a mile in their shoes, but apparently it's okay to judge someone who is less humble - why? Simple, it is society's way of reinforcing a specific learned behavior - why? To make us all feel better about ourselves. However, if we were more comfortable in our own skin, we wouldn't be bothered by less-than-humble folks in the first place. Dare to debate?

https://ezinearticles.com/?Is-Humility-Strength-And-Evidence-Of-High-Self-Esteem?&id=9489818

Who Is Right, I, Me and Myself

Since time immemorial the conflict between right and wrong has become part and parcel of humanity. It has become more pronounced in the modern era, besides becoming intriguing and interesting too. It becomes norms that wives are one rank higher than their dear husbands. The ego of men tries in vain to establish their macho superiority over women. Alas, they fail miserably. This is the crucial point and a cardinal concept established beyond reasonable question which goes like this; "I, Me and Myself."

Men dive deep into reasoning out as to why women who are weak otherwise have proved iron ladies in their psyche and outlook. People described her as a double edge steel. A shrill and hard and the other side is delicate, sweet and deceptive with malicious charm. Their victims are vulnerable human beings who knowingly get entrapped by their body language. If we analyze the individual words in realistic terms, then our concept becomes clear. We, then reason out what matters most and why.

These three words, 'I, Me and Myself' describe loneliness or centered along one person alone. It also indicates one's attachment to human beings and other objects, emphasizing a profound sensation of belonging. The reverse may also hold good expressing resentment and irritation. The impact it produces in our lives is when the people who matter most in our lives allow us. It means these words emphasize loneliness and grieve sets in.

The commercial, social and entertainment media paint a merry go around and melancholy picture of life. It is a virtual phase depicted to suit the interest of the media. In reality, things bear different outlook. A following stanza of a lyric will suffice the purpose:

"Me, Myself and I,

One day I would see it on my own

Next thing I know, I'm dealing

With some problem of my own

Love is so blind,

It feels right when it is wrong."

In that respect are some variations and differences in our everyday life which revolve around positive and negative outcomes. When it wanders in the minus direction, and so we become vulnerable in our thoughts and intellect. At this important juncture we believe it is I, me and myself who could be a game changer and an achiever. What happens when positive feelings catapult out of the rough and into the moon. Hence, we should build bridges and keep on our journey towards desired destination. A word of caution, we must exercise restrain and avoid falling into a virtual world rather than reality.

Many children and grown up adults who are enthusiastic and ventures in uncharted waters, then the problem poses in. The reason being their myopic approach and unrealistic big dream to get something either by hook or by crook. In his twenty-first century feminine gender plays a major part in exploiting them to be by themselves. The challenges are many and their alter-ego compel them to come down head over heel into confusion and end up in a fiasco.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Who-Is-Right,-I,-Me-and-Myself&id=10048739

The Ultimate Ego Trip

Let go of fear and feelings of inferiority, and we will get somewhere, really. Sure, we read this beginning sentence after I write it, but we are not reading into it. Most of us will sneak and "tip-toe" through the tulips on that concept. That means that we will be afraid to practice that idea to some extent however deeply and meaningfully we read that concept, sometimes especially when we read it deep enough to practice it. When I wrote that first sentence, even I was like for a millisecond, honestly: "Wow, where did that come from?" Everyone and everything at some level loves its comfort zone, and when we go above or below that comfort zone, fear and inferiority will rear its ugly head (or tail). Some people rise above it, some people do not rise above it, but when things happen, it is there.

The best we can do with all those feelings is to let them go, destroy them or whatever we can do to get right with ourselves, because our comfort zone is just an illusion. The reality is that everything is possible in existence, and in objective reality there are no comfort zones, just reality. Wayne W. Dyer called them all Erroneous Zones, and I see why now. The error is thinking that reality comes down to what we think it is, purely. Reality is everything in existence including God and Nature, purely, not what we want to think it is. Also, genuinely trying to please anyone other than yourself is a closed book and dead weight reality that does not have value. Why? When you realize that life is within you, and nowhere else, you are working with something living, and not toward a reality that does not have value.

I was watching the last "Happy Days" episode made in 1984, depicting the year 1972, when the character Richie Cunningham punched "the Fonz"/Arthur Fonzarelli character, and before Richie punched "the Fonz"/Arthur Fonzarelli, Richie talked to him about how he pleased everyone else but himself, and was a perfect soldier, and had everyone else depending on him and drank beer to drown his sorrows, but when Richie Cunningham realized the reality of the situation, he snapped back to all right with a better understanding of how reality works. Sure, you can serve others, but you cannot have illusions about it.

Realistically, you must always face yourself, not others. Avoiding yourself fearfully is the key to failure. Success is courage. Create your character without fear of reality and you will genuinely get somewhere. After all, playing God is the ultimate comfort zone, and just that, playing God. Being a complete and real person is just that, being a complete and real person. Those two sentences are the key to avoiding cults, guilt traps and genuine weakness. Develop strength from within genuinely in a genuinely "boot strap" or initializing way that does it step by step and you will get somewhere genuinely.

So, I end with a personal example: I face blocks and frustration like everyone else and pay the same prices, and do work like everyone else. My big flaw when I get angry with myself is that I even have momentary envy of a celebrity like O.J. Simpson (before the murders when he had people respecting him and worshipping him like he could "not do wrong" by reality). I mean, I feel like just the opposite of what he seemed to be: I am "weird", taciturn, "nerdy", "strange", and overly rational and "realistic" about life at times. I even shun being "a public hero" or whatever. Also, I live like a monk when it comes to women, I am not homosexual or anything, I just want meaningful and friendly relationships when I do relate to women. In short, O.J. Simpson "looks like a winner", and when I get angry with myself for my realistic and "slow-cooked" viewpoint, frustration should set in, but I do not let it. I know what is up fully, and I make myself all right with it. Is that not all our cases?

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Ultimate-Ego-Trip&id=10072435

Autosuggestion, Hypnosis and the Mental Nucleus

Autosuggestion means the person's self-influence. Thus, the ego is not a consistent and crystallized unit. It consists of one part that can influence the other. The division of these two parts of the ego is simple: the influential side is comprised of the conscious part and the influenced side is in the subconscious. The conscious part of the human mind is just a tip of the iceberg compared to the grand and mysterious subconscious. Actually, we have no information about that part of the ego, which autosuggestion applies to.

In an attempt to conduct a kind of "virtual mapping" of the soul, with the aim of locating and distinguishing that abstract element of the subconscious that is sensitive to suggestion, the best method is evaluating the phenomenon of hypnosis, where suggestion takes on the most direct and focused manifestation.

The Ego Paradox

Beyond the fact that our ego is spread across conscious and subconscious, and that one part can influence the other, hypnosis demonstrates another phenomenon as related to the subconscious ego. It is just this part, which is supposed to be the solid nucleus underlying the conscious ego and which is actually the "core of the mind", it is this part that is liquid and unstable. It is where we expect the individual to maintain his strongest identity, that his identity is not solid at all. A person can easily be hypnotized into believing that he is someone completely different. A person can be hypnotized to believe that he is living in another place and time, and he will truly believe it. Furthermore, in some cases, a person can be hypnotized into believing that he is an animal and he may believe it in his hypnotic trance, and behave accordingly. When hypnosis was first discovered, there wasn't much awareness to the severe damage that it may cause to the human psyche. The pioneer practitioners would hypnotize young women into believing that they were hens - they believed it and clucked around - leading some of them to eventually lose their sanity.

The paradox, by which the main nucleus underlying human personality, is the weakest part of his personality, is not unique within the mind-body system. The brain itself, in which all of the sensations and emotions are concentrated, and which is the only organ that senses the body, including any pain or light touch, is actually insensitive and has no reaction to it being touched, pinched or cut.

Hypnosis demonstrates that the human mind conceals a central point that is not bound - not by place, not by time and not by the identity which the individual has developed throughout his lifetime. This part accompanies the individual from birth to death. We encounter it almost every night in dreams in which we find ourselves in another time, another place and, sometimes, bearing a different identity. If we liken the mind (or the psyche) to a virtual ball, the solid external crust is the conscious part, while the core - the point affected by hypnosis, as it circumvents all of the layers and surfaces around it - is the mental nucleus. It is because of the "ego paradox" and its confusing nature, that hypnosis still remains a scientific mystery and the mental nucleus remains unexposed.

An Explanation for the Ego Paradox

At birth, a child is, to a great extent, "tabula rasa" as related to his identity and personality. He is indeed born with genetic attributes, with an instinctive will to survive and with inherent egoism, and yet on all issues relating to his identity and personality, he is highly dependent upon the environment into which he was born. If, for example, he is raised among monkeys or wolves, he will grow to believe that he is a wolf or a monkey (despite feeling the difference between him and them). He will adjust to the environment in which he is living, adopt its customs and norms, feel that he belongs and identifies with it and construct his identity accordingly. He will do all that he can to fit the genetic data, with which he was born, to the reality in which he is growing up. Every baby that is born, regardless of the environment, goes on over the years to develop its character, nature, essence and identity, based on his genetic load and environmental factors.

The ego-building process that every person undergoes does not completely cover the mind, but rather leaves its core, to a great extent, in a neutral stance as relating to one's identity and personality. Around the core, layers of ego are built up, wrapping it and crystallizing thanks to achievements, experience, the development of self-confidence, reinforcements, status, property, etc. There are people who have created thick and solid layers of protection around the core of their soul, and there are those whose core is more exposed - but for all, it is liquid in terms of identity and personality.

In order to understand the reason for this, we must apply the "proof of the negative" method. Assume that the mind's nucleus is made up of opposite attributes, i.e. having a clear and crystallized, strong, solid and immutable identity. A person with such a nucleus would find it very difficult to adjust to the many changes that he undergoes in life. He would be unable to cope with the changes occurring to his body, his growth and aging, and the many different roles that he is required to fill throughout his lifetime. He would be unable to handle changes of place, time and living conditions. He would be completely unable to fill the role of another, to masquerade or veer from his stereotypical image. There is no doubt that such a life would be much duller, and that people would behave as sophisticated robots whose conduct and reactions are predictable always.

The weakness of the mental nucleus is also the secret of human strength, since the soul wishes to make up for the weak point therein by strengthening the ego layers covering its nucleus by, as stated, attaining achievements, respect and status.

If every person's nucleus were rigid, we would be free of many problems: no ego struggles, no wars for respect and status. All the phenomena demonstrating sensitivity, vulnerability, vindictiveness and jealousy would not exist. Furthermore, all the psychological problems relating to identity and personality, such as split personalities, fragmented personalities, failed personalities and various personality disorders, would not exist.

A rigid and solid nucleus would render the desire for achievements and self- fulfillment superfluous. A person with such a nucleus would feel no need to belong to any group. Nor would he feel the need for warmth and love, where it is intended to complete a missing part of his personality.

The need for creating and maintaining an identity, which accompanies the individual throughout his lifetime, is nearly equivalent to his will to survive, which is an inherent genetic factor. There is usually harmony between these two urges, but they might sometimes encounter conflicts. There are people who are willing to die to maintain their identity, dignity, status, independence or the social environment, to which they belong. On the other hand, under the threat of death, many would be willing to surrender their identity and alter it in order to protect their lives.

Suggestive Influence

There are three levels of suggestive influence: suggestion, autosuggestion and hypnosis. We are constantly exposed to suggestions, at every age and every place. They apply, directly and indirectly, to our subconscious and conscious, and can affect our thoughts, emotions, desires, opinions, consumer inclinations, etc. Suggestions do not usually penetrate deep into the mental nucleus.

Autosuggestion, on the other hand, is not directed to the conscious at all and does not intend to alter opinions or direct thoughts. It is completely directed toward the subconscious and its target is emotions.

Hypnosis has the strongest suggestive impact and it is capable of penetrating the mental nucleus. Here too, the weakness of the nucleus is the secret of its power, seeing that by being elastic, it can quickly recapture - following the hypnotic impact - its original form.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Autosuggestion,-Hypnosis-and-the-Mental-Nucleus&id=9840946

The Watchful Observer

Facts are facts, right? We've been told from a young age that when something is a proven fact it's without a doubt 100% true. But how do we in fact know this? Facts are not always true, just like our minds are not really who we are. When we are consciously aware of thoughts and feelings that come through us daily, it allows us to differentiate between what is false and what our true authentic state is. If we can learn to think of ourselves as merely a witness to our thoughts it can free us from the pressure of what our mind is constantly forcing down our throats to think. It unlocks us from the mental prison we've been enslaved in by the ever-present false reality of our thoughts.

Who we truly are lies deep within us and by becoming a watchful observer of our own minds, we can start to notice when menacing thoughts arise that we can just be a witness and observe them instead of beating ourselves up over thinking certain things. We have as part of our mind this little aspect called the ego. Now this little fella can either work with you or against you, if you so choose. I constantly fought my ego every step of the way and don't you know every time I came out waving the white flag. I learned that there is no use in fighting this battle, lay your sword down and make peace with your ego and realize it's always going to be your constant companion forever so why not learn to coincide peacefully together.

Your ego is set up to protect you from harm so it feeds you information that isn't real to keep you safe, even if what it's telling you is painful or uncomfortable. It's programmed to do this to keep you at a certain level of comfort so you feel powerless without it. Haven't we all felt this way? Our mind will talk us out of things because it can't fathom the thought of actually being courageous and taking that much-needed step into the unknown. Notice when you start to break free or do things out of your comfort zone to better yourself, the ego is right there to stop you because it tries to keep you in fear so you'll stay comfortable and never take that leap you've been wanting to take for so long.

So, what happens when we start to believe these fake stories? They've now become imbedded into our subconscious mind and we begin to accept them as true and live our life accordingly. We've been talked into living mediocre lives because living in greatness may in fact kill us. Ya right! How do we break free from this false sense of reality and know what we are thinking is true? This in part is where the problem lies, it is not within our own thinking but is beyond anything we can logically rationalize. Step out of your thinking, watch, notice and observe and we can begin to find the answers and live in our truth.

I've known for some time that my mind is conditioned to be fear based. When a situation happens that I perceive is either hurtful or painful my mind goes to work on creating the worst-case scenario, sound familiar? If you're like me when something "bad" happens you immediately go on the defense and start ripping someone or the apparent situation to shreds, along with some choice curse words. I found myself doing this over and over whenever things didn't go my way or the shit hit the fan, so to speak. I spiraled into depression sometimes for days, weeks or months wallowing in woe is me nonsense. I would constantly struggle with; how do I make it stop? It wasn't until years later that I was finally opened to the idea of just observing these feelings and realizing that the hurt, anger, frustration or whatever made me feel awful, wasn't in fact me or my true state of being. When I really started to understand this concept, and know that these feelings were just passing through me and were not going to set up residence, I felt like I had been let out of prison. Years and years of beating myself up and living in this awful state of feeling like I was two different people, suddenly just went away. It was like I had been reborn and the veil was taken off. I now know immediately when these thoughts and feelings show up that I watch, notice and observe that they are in fact not mine but are here to teach me a lesson and move on.

I also know that in order to help these thoughts and feelings on their way I have to fully feel them and go through the emotional rollercoaster and give them love and attention to release them. I sit with them and notice and write down how they make me feel and what I can do to understand them. It takes a lot of work to consciously do this and is a constant struggle in the beginning when you're learning to shift out of an old mindset, but what I keep hammering home is, I am not my mind or my thoughts but just the watchful observer over them. My true, authentic self is now and always will be love. I continuously remind myself to revert to love in every situation as that is the key to unlocking the pain we feel during hard times. Always be cognizant that love is ever-present in every situation if you choose to know and feel it deep within you. Sometimes your greatest pain is your biggest teacher and blessing and will set you up for your best days ahead.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Watchful-Observer&id=9599907

How to Control Anger in Under One Minute

"The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off" ~ Gloria Steinem

It's a Wal-Mart Christmas war zone. Grandma is searching for a parking spot while humming Christmas carols to the radio. Noticing one near the entrance she signals and patiently waits for the Honda to load up their colourful shopping bags. As the Honda begins to pull out some jerk swoops in like Robin Hood and steals her spot.

Grandma suddenly morphs from a sweet, little old lady into an enraged purse throwing incredible hulk. There are some situations that cause even the calmest, nicest people to become angry, frustrated and furious; whatever you call it, we all know the feeling.

What is anger? Anger is an emotion, emotions are created through your thoughts; and your thoughts are a result of your interpretation of a situation or person. Through your lens of experience and mental conditioning you draw conclusions: good or bad, right or wrong, fair or unfair, deserved and undeserved.

Regardless of the scenario anger arises when your interpretation of a situation or person is unpleasant. Your mind gets rattled and although you may not burst into an enraged green giant, anger still isn't pretty, typical physical signs: Holding your breath with red faces, shaking clenched fists and racing hearts.

In Buddhism there are three poisonous states of mind, anger is one of them. If you check - anger is always in defence of our ego. A situation or person is getting in the way of what you want for the 'self'. For example: Dark rain clouds appear on your golf day; damn weather never co-operates. Your husband forgot your anniversary; WOW, what a jerk!

The emotion of anger isn't the dangerous part, but what happens next is: The stage of retaliation. During this phase the sole intent is to harm the object of your displeasure. Try to remember a time when you experienced a heated fight with a loved one, when you stopped foaming at the mouth and the fog of anger lifted you may have wondered what possessed you to behave in such an evil manner. Like the hulk as much as you try to resist the urge to slam your opponent floor to ceiling, anger can make you feel like you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and unstoppable powerful emotion.

You might catch yourself saying, I wasn't in my right mind. The secret is that we don't have to be at its mercy any longer.

The truth is: Anger is not caused by outer circumstances, people or things. Anger is a state of mind and therefore only you can make yourself angry. You have the power to control your state of mind.

I know what you're thinking; this is absurd, of course there are situations that warrant anger; the boys behind you in the movie theatre are talking loudly and kicking your seat. I know this makes me angry, how can they be so rude?

So the question is not do we ever get angry, because we all do, even the most peaceful Zen Masters, but the real question is: How can we control our anger? My Buddhist teacher has encouraged three simple steps to controlling the onset of anger.

HOW TO CONTROL ANGER IN UNDER 1 MINUTE:

1. Recognize your emotions

When you find yourself in a testing situation; tell yourself, even say it out loud, my mind is experiencing unpleasantness. This will create an awareness of the emotion. This awareness will then give you the separation to gain control and reinforce that this state of mind is temporary, like everything else it too shall pass. Just by simple acknowledgement you will take its power away.

When someone cuts me off in traffic, you will find me in my car saying, 'my mind is experiencing unpleasantness', and its amazing how the anger floats away with this one simple phrase.

2. Ask yourself - Can I solve the problem?

If you can not solve the problem, what is the point of getting angry? I ask this question all the time. If I'm in a hurry in a slow grocery store line up, I ask myself, "Can I fix this problem?" if the answer is no, getting upset isn't going to change the outcome. Becoming mentally agitated is only going to cause suffering to myself, the grocery store line isn't going to move any faster. This mental game works wonders.

3. Breathe.

When you experience anger, take 10 deep breaths. It's impossible for anger to escalate when you are breathing deeply. I use all sorts of opportunities to practice this form of meditation; using the example of the grocery store line up again, once I realize that I can't solve my problem, I enter a stage of acceptance. Instead of getting angry I use the extra time to mentally focus, breathe and experience clarity. Every moment is an opportunity for spiritual advancement.

That's it! 3 easy, quick steps to prevent anger from escalating in less than one minute.

The emotion of anger can run much deeper than simple day-to-day annoyances such as traffic or the weather. We most definitely have situations such as social injustices, school shooters, disease and death where controlling our anger is going to be a lengthy process full of psychological counselling on mindfulness, meditation and reflection.

These three simple techniques listed above have a place in our everyday life for controlling anger outbursts and they can most definitely help to begin the mindful awareness of deeper anger issues however being fascinated by the emotion of anger in an upcoming article I plan to take a deeper look into the tricky anger. Should you feel angry at the murderer of a loved one? Should you feel angry is someone harms your child? How should you handle these types of anger?

In our modern world we have a lot of research that says that righteous anger can be a healthy release but Buddhism teaches that there are no good examples of anger. It is a destructive emotion that only brings you confusion and misery rather than peace. The mind of anger is a dangerous, destructive mind

"The ghosts of the past which follow us into the present also belong to the present moment, to observe them deeply, recognize their nature and transform them, is to transform the past." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

As Buddha would say there is no justified anger there is only anger. Do you agree with this statement? Or do you feel some anger is healthy and even justified?

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. "~ Buddha

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Control-Anger-in-Under-One-Minute&id=7912046

How To Correct Injustice - Positive And Effective Change

This article is about the common frustration of facing someone who is doing something you consider very wrong, either to you or in general.

When faced with a situation in which someone is cheating or hurting you, and you feel a tremendous injustice is done, leaving you very confused by the incomprehensible actions of that person, you may find yourself very angry.

A feeling of revenge or you may deem it a sense of delivering justice falls upon you. Giving it objective thought, it really is a desire for revenge even if you want to call it correcting a wrong.

When done out of anger, there can be no balancing correction, the only possible result is a hurt for hurt. These situations can never resolve or bring true justice, they can only make you feel better for a short while.

The anger you feel is in a large part due to not being able to understand why or how a person could do what they did, and your pain is in a large part from the confusion rather than the results of the actions.

The ego also gets into play with your feeling cheated and hurt and someone else getting away with something they do not deserve. It may not even involve you, but the situation is the same, someone hurts someone else and gets away with it.

If you attack with anger, the only thing that will result is a greater fight and you suffering in your anger. Go ahead, be angry but you will burn in your own anger. Is that going to help make you feel better?

When you truly understand someone, you cannot be angry. Think about that. You may not agree, but you cannot be angry when you understand the reason for someone's actions.

Now we must examine why we cannot understand someone's so called evil actions. Simply because of your own ego arrogance. You are making a statement that you are right and they are wrong. But they would say that they are right and you are wrong. So unless one of you is God, then who is to say who is right. That is just a matter of opinion and the source of war.

When you apply humility to the freedom that every human being should have to believe in what they want, simply because you want that freedom, and thus you must offer that same freedom to another, you could open you mind to understand them.

With understanding, anger dissolves. When anger dissolves you no longer are in conflict and war with that person. And now a very simple conclusion to this article and the way to resolve almost all conflicts.

Who is more likely to be able to make a person understand that what they did is wrong and correct or at least stop it? The angry attacker, or someone in harmony and understanding with their thoughts?

When you accept that humans are in general scared, greedy, foolish and in some cases pretty nasty and selfish, disregarding any other living creatures rights to a peaceful life, all due to their own personal fears about their own survival, you will know what drives that person to do what they did.

Let me ask all the women readers a question; Would you be a prostitute? You may say no, but I would say almost every one of you would. All you need is the right circumstances.

If you had three kids and you are a single mother and the only way to feed your children or get them medical care to save their lives due to being so desperate that there was no choice, or perhaps if a man put a gun to your children's head and offered you a choice to save their life, would you then prostitute yourself for the sake of your children's lives?

In general, we are very fortunate, but in reality there are a myriad of distorted and perhaps unjustified fears that rule all of us. Most of us thankfully are never pushed to that situation, but just consider that you do not know what drives a person, what formed them when they were young, and open your mind to the reality that they feel justified in what they did, or in their excuses to avoid taking responsibility.

Being angry will rarely correct what was done, and it will just make you sick and waste more time and energy. Open your mind, understand that you may not understand but that there is a valid reason in that person's mind, and accept the sad fact of life which is; Life is not always fair.

There are times to stand up for your rights, but if you are driven with anger, you will lose in the end, even if you win. There are times we must simply accept our loss and move on.

Objective is not negative, it is simply what it is.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Correct-Injustice---Positive-And-Effective-Change&id=9339162

Negative Emotions and Understanding The Moment

Most negative emotions, such as a depressing thought, internal conflict, arguments, feeling hopeless, etc. all these things are due to a lack of understanding.

You may think you understand, and that is why you see a thing as hopeless or negative or the other person as wrong, but you must fight your opinions and remember that it is because you do not understand it fully. No matter how clear and simple it may seem, the truth is, ironically, a lack of truth.

Here we define truth as full and complete knowledge of the event, situation or thing. The three levels of certainty are very important to consider; knowledge, vision and truth of certainty.

Knowledge is when you think you know a thing because you know something about it, but it does not take much to remember something you thought you understood and later found out you had no idea about the reality of it.

Vision is a level deeper than knowledge, but still lacks true depth. For example, you may see a car and know that it moves around and transports you. If you only look at the body and seats, but do not learn about the engine or petrol, in time it will stop working and you will not be able to fix it and get it to go again.

Truth is to know something intimately, how it works, what is its purpose, how it can be used or handled in a way that it flourishes. Truth is objective, which means it is what it is, not what you want it to be.

If you get depressed, sad, angry, hopeless, lost, or any emotion that in a way paralyzes you, or even just makes you feel blah, that is because you do not fully understand the situation.

If you think you do understand, then you do not really understand your own mind and human nature. Thus the first step to understanding anything in life is to understand the apparatus behind your ability to understand.

The Tower of Babel is not just that we do not understand each other, often we are babbling to ourselves. There are many hidden meanings in ancient stories which often go missed, especially the stories that tell us why we miss things.

The ego personality is a complex thing and always wants to think it knows everything, so that a person can feel strong and confident because they are intelligent and understand things. But it is this very need to know that prevents us from deeply knowing anything at all. The result is we live imagining that we understand when we do not, and that is what is behind making wrong decisions.

Our mistakes in life can be put in a simple analogy. You have to disarm a bomb. There are two wires, a green one and a brown one. Those happen to be two colors that are commonly confused by people with mild colorblindness. They tell you to cut the brown wire. You think you know which is brown because you have ignored your color blindness, and you blow up yourself and everyone around you.

If you take every negative feeling you have and see the cause being your color blindness, and look for the very fine, tiny print on the wire that says which color it is, you may find life progresses much better with far less negative emotions. The first thing is to know that the answer is printed there somewhere, and be willing to look for it and read.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Negative-Emotions-and-Understanding-The-Moment&id=8931779

3 Self Help Principles to Effectively Handle Anyone

Have you ever found yourself in a situation or predicament where you just can't seem to get along with another person, or merely communicate in such a way for any sole reason at all? Whether it being achieving a certain desire or providing potentially beneficial advice that the selected other can't seem to understand. Feeling like you have tried everything? Fear not-The purpose of this post has you an old, yet very simple but seemingly forgotten self-help principles to aid your irrefutable frustration regarding such a common issue.

There are times in life where we find ourselves bewildered at our abilities to deal with other people, sometimes you're unsure whether it's you, them or the weather (for many reasons) nor come to terms with the complexity of exactly what is making such a task seem impossible.

Listed below are 3, easily digestible principles to keep in mind for effectively handling anyone; that when learnt and practised, will seem effortless. Enjoy.

Self-Help Principle 1: Never critique, complain or castigate.

Let's begin with a short parable. A man with an infamous reputation is often a feared criminal, in this sense, he is considered evil by his wrongdoing and acts of injustice. It is this injustice that society and its conventional values view this person contrary to the norm.

On a particular night in London, dozens of police officers were heard scrambling in and around Oxford Circus tube station as gunshots lit up the night. Screams and despair spread as the night grew older, rumour has it that one of London's most wanted was spotted inside and once noticed, took siege of human lives as form of leverage. Thousands of people listened and waited close behind the human blockade of officers, nothing like it had ever been seen before on the tracks of London. When this man was captured, Captain S. Montgomery stated that the man was unknowingly to the public, an enemy of the state previously turned rogue for reasons undisclosed, "He will disregard all consequences of behaviour," said the Captain, "and will kill in the blink of an eye."

The question we must ruminate is, how did this mysterious man regard himself? We know, because it is only until after finding in the residence of this man evidence that may be mutually exclusive with these intentions. a letter labelled, "To my younger self." And, as it read: "Beneath this vessel was a heart of gold, one that too many, times left cold."

Not too long before this, this man was going about his morning to surprise his girlfriend out-of-town near West Sussex. After he had arrived and noticed another male in the bed. Without saying a word, he leaped through the window and drew his gun, the gun shot and the air shattered. The bullet tore through space and silence fell upon him in its wake. He spoke but his words were lost in the quiet. That was the killer who said "Beneath this vessel was a heart of gold, one that too many, times left cold." The man was sentenced to death. When he was upon his last few hours, do you think he said, "This is what I get for killing people?" No, he said "This is what I get for doing what any man would do."

The point of this story is exactly this: This man did not blame himself for anything. Would you say that is an unusual thought process for criminals? I think not, now ponder this for a minute and ask yourself, if these men and women behind bars do not blame themselves for acts of such sin, what about the people who you and I have come in contact with? People do not criticise themselves, not for anything, no matter the severity or margin that they may be so very wrong by.

B.F Skinner, a world-famous psychologist had proved with his experiments that animals respond and learn much more efficiently when being rewarded with good behaviour and retain that information rather than castigated for poor behaviour. Further studies also proved that the same theory indeed applies to humans. In self-help we must be self-aware and acknowledge that the person we feel the need to correct or critique will probably justify himself/herself for what ever the reason may be. Perhaps even critique us in return?

Do you know of someone who you aspire to change or improve? perhaps a partner, friend, colleague etc. Why not begin with the man in the mirror? This is much, much more profitable and long-term efficient, and is also the pinnacle of self-help improvisation. Remember that before trying to handle others, that you are dealing with creatures of emotion, master this and things will fall in just the right places.

Self-Help Principle 2: Show a little appreciation.

There are roughly eight wants in life that we truly desire, I will label these; the eight things we desire most. We will be elaborating on solely one of these wants in this principle. The principle analysed and laid out is "The desire of importance." If you're interested in the other seven then you can head here.

Majority of these wants are more or less satisfied throughout our journeys, although there is one longing, deep, heart-wrenching desire that is satisfied rarely. I think you guessed it, the desire of importance. Who doesn't like a compliment? One of the most, if not the most sought after craving in life is the gratification of appreciation, hence the word "craving" not desire, but for appreciation and not importance. The person that can acknowledge this is all well, good and possibly on their way. However, to grasp this information and strictly apply it whenever you get the chance, this person will hold people in the palms of their hands.

The desire of importance has been around for centuries, this desire even stems off the infamous quote I'm sure you've heard "We buy things we don't like, to impress people we don't even know, with money we don't even have." It is why the rich build the biggest houses that you and I both know they can't make use of, it is why you feel the need to wear the latest fashion styles, it is why you want to drive the coolest car, this desire even impacts the way you talk about your brilliant partner or children. Some even fall victim into partaking in criminal activities, joining a gang or going as far as your imagination serves you, why? The answer is merely ego, the craving for appreciation, the desire of importance.

An easy way to begin: Bring to the table genuine enthusiasm among your people, appreciation and encouragement to others for small things, lead to a large impact. Positive reinforcement is actually critically important at times but be careful not to flatter. Flattery and appreciation are two very different things, the difference is 'sincerity'. One comes from the 'heart' and the other from the mouth. One is sincere and the other has an ulterior motive.

Again - the difference is 'sincerity'.

One comes from the 'heart' and the other from the mouth. One is sincere and the other has an ulterior motive.

What do average people do? The exact opposite.

If one does not approve or fancy something, they will scold their minions, partners and so on and so forth; if they happen to fancy or approve of it, most of the time they say nothing. Let us stop thinking of ourselves, our accomplishments and our desires. Let's attempt to analyse the person we wish to interact with and try to acknowledge their traits, disregard the flattery and acquire some genuine, real appreciation. Do this often and the people on the receiving end will hold your words tight, for longer than you can remember their faces.

Self-Help Principle 3: Give the person an incentive.

Let us begin with a bite size parable by D. Carnegie. A man is in charge of how he spends his time, this man enjoys fishing as his selected hobby and often spent the summertime in Maine. "I Personally am fond of strawberries and cream," said D. Carnegie, "but I have began to notice, fish prefer worms." This brilliant man did not think about what he wanted whilst fishing, he thought about what the fish wanted. So why not use this perfect little allegory and apply it when fishing for people?

Why be futile and converse about our wants? We are interested in what we want and others are interested in what they want, you may seldom stumble upon the occasion where others are also interested in your wants as you share a common goal or desire. But the rest of us are like you, only invested in what we want. Do you see where this is heading? The only way to strike influence and be able to handle somebody in these occasions is to converse about their wants,their desires, and you know what else? You have to show them how to get it.

Visualise yourself in a future situation where you are, the one attempting to get somebody to do something or change something. For example; You want your child to stay in and refrain from going out as they have an exam to attend the next morning, don't stand there and lecture them talking about what you want, we all know the answer and reasoning behind your want; but instead show them how heading out may impact the outcome of their grade scores and achieving that future opportunity.

Another parable to provide insight is; Mr Ralph Emerson and his son were trying to get their calf into the barn, however they inevitably made the common mistake and were only thinking about what they wanted. Can you guess what the calf was thinking about? If you've caught on you would assume (and you're correct) the calf is thinking only of what he wants, so the calf had centred his weight and refused to move. A bystander, the housemaid had been observing the entire situation, unbeknown to Ralph and his son, she had a broad perception of her surroundings, she thought of what the calf wanted; so she placed her maternal finger inside the calf's mouth and let the calf suck on her finger as she patiently guided him into the barn.

Tomorrow you may find yourself in a situation where you want to persuade somebody to do something. Before any form of communication, stop and ask yourself the question: "How can I make this person want to do this?" This question will not only stop absolute inefficiency and possibly embarrassing conversations ending with futile chatter of your desires, but give the person an incentive to do something. He who is capable of doing this, has the universe with him.

https://ezinearticles.com/?3-Self-Help-Principles-to-Effectively-Handle-Anyone&id=9930673

Message From the Universe: Living ONLY for Today!

"Sometimes, the person whose life looks the easiest, has had it the hardest, but they're just really good at not dwelling on the past, keeping busy in the moment, and rolling "like that."

And I know you know what I mean.

Proud like a farmer in the spring after it rains,

The Universe"

Everyone is battling their own struggles so when you are arguing with someone, no matter how mean they are to you, do not let your emotions take over and strike back aggressively towards that person. The best way to handle situations like that is to understand more of how much this person is suffering inside. This argument might be the perfect case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time for this person to lash at you, but in all actuality, they would have lashed at anyone else, you were unfortunately the chosen one. Nothing personal really, unless you really screwed up and they are just responding to your actions. Overall, it is important to put your ego aside and keep yourself calm during these difficult times. You want to be the person who deals with difficult situations and still come out of it unscathed. By doing so, you are showing better leadership than anyone else by staying calm and collected. Life is never really fair, no matter which way you look at it. Instead of trying to work against human nature, you would need to work with it. Avoid letting conflicts grow and tackle issues as soon as they show up, especially the important ones. Work on yourself and take meditation classes that can help calming yourself down during times of conflict. You would want to create a serene environment every chance you get and allow yourself to become a better person. Growing spiritually is crucial and working towards this goal will make you feel more accomplished than having a successful career. If you are not healthy mentally, you can't be healthy in any other area of your life. It all starts with the mind!

When you see people trying to lose weight and fail, it is become their mind didn't catch up with their body's desire to lose the pounds. Even when they do reach their physical goals, they suffer from body dismorphya, which can be a mental disorder, especially when looking at yourself in the mirror and still seeing your old overweight body. Work with yourself from within, which is the spiritual mind, and then focus on the physical part. As mentioned, everyone deals with daily struggles, and some more than others. Even the ones who seems like everything is going amazingly well, they had their share of struggles but they know not to let these past struggles occupy their mind and stop them from living their lives TODAY. They mastered the "how" to leave events in the past and focus on what to do at this given moment. Trying to control everything is what will make you miserable. Stop focusing on that part of your life and learn on how to let go, especially for the things you CAN'T control. Learning to let go of things and allow the Universe to take over is the best thing you can do. Go with the flow at times, just like swimming downstream instead of against current. At the end, you will more than just your energy.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Living-ONLY-for-Today!&id=9440556

How to Tame the Beast (Anger) in You?

"Anger is the wind which blows out the lamp of the mind." (Bodie Thoene, a historical fiction writer from USA)

But the irony is that when in a fit of anger, one does never care whether the flame is alive or dead. Again, those who often get angry for petty reasons are lovelorn and need more love, so goes a popular quote. But that hardly is a solution. And if that is considered to be one, then we are doomed. Think if such a person gets so angry at the drop of a hat that they kill you in that fit of anger! You must be alive and kicking to make love. The coincidence is that each one of us has a bit of anger somewhere within us. At a peculiar situation when we lose our patience to tolerate their anger, we too might get angry and react. A mishap cannot be written off in such cases. So is there a way to tame this beast 'anger' in us? I wonder if any external force can ever do that.

Look inward, you might get a way out. And as you do that, see if you can follow an agenda like this:

1) Realize that your anger is a weakness which you are unable to overcome yet. And it is quite natural to have many such weaknesses as human beings. Indian-American author and public speaker Deepak Chopra says, "If you try to get rid of fear and anger without knowing their meaning, they will grow stronger and return."

2) Look for ways to tame it from all sources that you can access - a good book, a psychology expert or a friend who has successfully dealt with it.

3) Shed all your ego and inhibition, and raise your hand up for help. Someone from your family, a sincere friend or your teacher might come forward to help.

4) When you are receiving the inputs that might help you in getting rid of the beast, listen to the counsel and believe that it helps. There is no scope for your intervention. Do as directed if you are serious about letting the beast go.

5) Be patient and know that time heals too. Continue to practise all that you have been preached. Just know what the Buddha's teaching says, "Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free."

6) After a while, maybe after a couple of months, evaluate yourself in terms of how you react to certain things that you don't like. Compare and see if the magnitude has come down. If you have been honest in practising the ways to control your anger, you shall see a positive difference.

Do you remember what the famous English Poet of 16th Century, John Milton, says about human mind in his magnum opus Paradise Lost? "The mind is in its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven."

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Tame-the-Beast-(Anger)-in-You?&id=8758739

Which Wolf Are You Feeding?

I love this parable. Whether it is authentic or not, the message is important and very, very true.

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life... "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves." One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego. "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith." This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed." 

Author Unknown

Lately I have found myself feeding the dark wolf; mostly anger, sorrow, regret, some resentment, self-doubt and ego, also a whole lot of feeling frustration. Not because I feel entitled. Anyone who knows me knows that is not part of my make-up. I feel frustration sometimes because my ego gets in the way. And by my ego, my old self, my unconscious self, rears its childlike frustrated head and whines because life is not moving as smoothly or as easily as I want it or would like it to be. My unconscious self stamps its little girl foot and shouts "But it's MY turn!" or better yet "I'm feeding my white wolf, when does life get easier?"

The white wolf answers me "You have more work to do child."

Every moment of every day offers us opportunities and yes, tests, to choose to not only feed our joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith, but to also to live as a shining example for other's whose dark wolf is snarling in the background. I have a dear friend who calls these tests "God's little Pop Quizzes". We are not supposed to look at our obstacles as obstructions but as guide posts on our journey. And if we stumble, that's not a failure, but another opportunity to get it right the next time!

Our reward for living a life of love is all the white wolf embodies in the above parable, and it takes constant awareness and work to maintain that level of Zen. This world we live in is constantly throwing dark wolf scenarios at us through the media and yes, right down to individuals we encounter each and every moment of every day. It all stems from fear!

So what do we do, you ask? Stay aware. Stay hopeful. Keep your eye on your prize (yes, your prize! Everyone has their own idea what their prize is), and live in the simple truth there is a Soul "pot of gold" at the end of our life's rainbow. The path you take is completely up to you, and the rewards are already in front of you!

And when you falter, be gentle with yourself, and ask what you can do differently the next time around. As Gandhi said, "Be the change in the world you want to see."

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