When Things Go Wrong In Life, Don't Follow Your Problems

Don't Go With The Problem

Many people are experiencing difficulties in their lives than ever before, given the Coronavirus pandemic and economic uncertainty surrounding it. Problems are inevitable and hoping they go away is only wishful thinking. Challenges are sewn into the fabric of life and there are two ways to view them. We can see them as serving no point in our life, or conversely, that they contain the seeds of opportunities for our personal growth. How about you? What do you believe is the reason for problems in your life? What is your mindset when things go wrong? Do you stay stuck in your difficulties or do you try to find a solution?

I admit, when problems arise in my life, my initial reaction was one of anxiety and worry. I felt I had little control over the situation and found it difficult to deal with. However, I've come to distance myself from the drama nowadays, instead of overreacting. By distancing ourselves from a situation, we create a space between the problem, so we don't ruminate on it. We must also allow the passage of time to reveal more information about what we're experiencing. When I encounter a major problem, it seems that weeks and months later, it has evolved to something completely differently. I had this conversation with a coaching client recently, who experienced the same negative emotions. I invited her to mentally distance herself from the drama, otherwise she was likely to stay stuck in her negative emotions without finding a solution.

Are you happy with the idea that we needn't bring negative emotions to the table each time life doesn't go according to plan? Sometimes, what appears as a problem can be a stroke of luck, if we withhold our beliefs about it. Our problems are similar to horses tethered to a chariot. Given the opportunity, they will run wild and we're unable to keep them from taking off. Things will always go wrong in life and our task is to overcome it as best we can. The key message here is that when things go wrong, don't go with your problems; focus on the solution. We must become solution orientated instead of allowing problems to pull us into a pit of despair.

Problems Are Nourishment For Your Soul

When difficulties emerge, we are inclined to believe life is unfair. I've met many resilient leaders over the years who don't allow their problems to overwhelm them but seek to understand the lessons contained within them. These people have experienced many challenges throughout their life without getting caught up in the drama. You've heard it said that problems are opportunities for growth, but that means minor comfort when we face challenges bigger than us.

For example, think of a recent challenge you overcame? What lessons did you learn from it? What actions did you take to deal with the problem? If we believe difficulties are bigger than us, we remain helpless and stuck, instead of trying to overcome it. I assure you; the most trying experiences contain a solution and sometimes it requires digging deep within ourselves to find it. We may encounter frustration, anger and disappointment, but don't despair when you experience these emotions. It's means you are toiling away in the trenches to find a way out.

What I'm suggesting is; the more problems you face, the better you become at dealing with them. The bigger the problem, the greater your level of growth. Our personal growth is associated with our self-esteem and character, which are indicative of living intentionally and purposefully. We cannot avoid problems because there is always one waiting on the next corner. The problems that frustrate me most are ones that emerge when I least expect it. But I've learned that the universe will test my resolve to see whether I am growing to deal with the challenges.

So, going back to the problem you experienced recently, what is the lesson you're invited to learn from it? What qualities is the universe trying to develop within you? When we resist an experience, we resist the growth associated with it. It is like receiving a present on your birthday, but refusing to open it. You've no doubt experienced enough birthdays to know that a present is a gift to cherish. And so of our problems. The universe rarely gives us an experience packaged beautifully, with a bow on it. They are clothed in pain, disappointment and difficulties. So, when things go wrong, don't follow your problems and create greater worries for yourself. Instead, see the lessons as a gift and your problems will become nourishment for your soul.

https://ezinearticles.com/?When-Things-Go-Wrong-In-Life,-Dont-Follow-Your-Problems&id=10330399

Self-Induced Stress

Do you create stress for yourself?

We stress ourselves with our thinking, our unexamined habits, and our denial. Self-defeating thinking includes assumptions we have made about ourselves and the world which we don't recognize. Do you find yourself resenting others? Does it seem life is easier for everyone else? Does anger pop up quickly? Do you speak when you wish you hadn't? Or don't speak and you wish you had? Do you feel like a Victim? Or a Bully?

You can change any scenario entirely on your own. Our consciousness is the basis for everything that happens in our lives. If you want to know what exists in your inner world, look around you. Is your mate abusive or insensitive? It's no coincidence.

Something in you refuses to acknowledge your own needs and worth. He's just a mirror. Is your boss critical and humiliating? What in you is she reflecting? An abusive inner Critic? The outside reflects the inside unerringly.

Having these mirrors makes our job of personal growth so much easier! We always assume that what is exists to help us. Nothing is a mistake. Circumstances seem to align to allow us the experience we need. "No," I can hear you protest, "I don't want to be humiliated and frustrated and disappointed." It's painful and maybe unfair, but for some reason you need that experience. We learn to focus on our personal experience and not on the objective facts.

An appropriate and growthful response no matter what occurs is "Thank you." Whether we like what happens or not is irrelevant. If we accept what is with gratitude and release our resistance, we learn. Life knows better than our minds what we need in order to heal and grow. When we say "Thank you" we cooperate with life. Stress results from resisting the lessons life presents to us.

Habits are behavioral indications of thinking stuck in the past. Habits are automatic, unconsidered responses. Unconsciously we are reacting from another time and place, presumably when we lacked power or insight or maturity. Why would we prefer that unawareness? Because something painful or problematic threatens to emerge and we fear we can't cope. But the truth is we can handle it. We've grown and we've matured and we're ready for more. We don't manage every situation gracefully but we always have another chance. We look, we consider, and we make another choice. And always we're on our own side. We're here to learn, not to be perfect, so no matter what happens we continue on our path.

Denial closes off learning. It's like pulling the shades down and saying "There's nothing to see so I won't look." We can't learn or grow or change if we won't see what is. We don't have to know how to handle it and we certainly don't have to understand it, we just have to see what is. And experience. We acknowledge the reality of our inner world and we allow our feelings. We notice the process involved in feeling - opening to the intensity of the emotion, feeling it fully, and watching the resolution which occurs naturally. We learn to know our inner world through having experiences. We watch the natural flow of our feelings and we learn not to recoil in fear but to allow. Allowing is the opposite of denial. When we practice non-resistance, allowing, and trust, we avoid stress.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Self-Induced-Stress&id=9622146

How Helping Others Helps You (By Jim Symcox)

There's no doubt that helping people has been my life for many years. Right from the time when I was a programmer at British Aerospace and used to help my friends debug their programs to my business working with Chet Holmes and Tony Robbins as their business coach across the world.

The Huffington Post even reports on research that shows you're happier when you're helping people at work! More research also shows you live longer by contributing to others.

Of course, when I set out on my career I didn't know this research! I just loved to help people, which unfortunately when I started my own business meant I did a lot of work for nothing.

I learned my lesson - no food on the table - pretty quickly. However, that's never stopped me from helping people anyway.

The most exciting thing I found when I'm in the middle of something with other people is when they realize they can do more than they thought. A really lovely factor in coaching.

However, ultimately I realized I was only helping a small fraction of the number of people who could benefit from the knowledge and tools I had. So I wrote a short book (called Leap Ahead of Your Competitors) that was intended to help all the smaller companies with marketing and running a business. Because I wanted the maximum number of people to benefit I used to hand it out for free to those who couldn't afford my coaching but I knew would benefit from its contents.

Then I thought, part of the journey for any entrepreneur or business person is personal growth. A topic that is unseen but makes a huge difference to people, their families and people they know. So I decided to create a Facebook group called Personal Growth Tips to help people with their personal growth. If you'd like to take a peek it's at

Again, I didn't want to charge because my intention is to help as many people as possible to improve their current situations, but more than that I wanted their kids to benefit too. At the same time I know I'm not the fount of all personal growth knowledge! So I wanted to create a community that would help each other and grow together.

So, like I say the group is free to join and I'm looking at everyone who knows me to see who wants to grow and helps others do the same.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-Helping-Others-Helps-You&id=10069220

When We Are Easily Offended, We Close The Door To True Understanding

Is Being Offended Serving You?

How do you react when someone offends you, whether it be intentionally or otherwise? Do you allow it to get the better of you? I don't wish to embellish this article by advising whether we should react to criticism or not. However, I wish to highlight how we can better deal with criticism instead of being offended. With the rise of readily accessible news and social media nowadays, more and more people are easily offended. While I'm not suggesting the world is lined with good intentions, being easily offended has become the hallmark for activism and social standing. You no doubt value your personal growth and improving your life because you are drawn to this message. Considering this, I want you to examine whether being offended is serving you? Ask yourself whether it enhances your life? Do you feel you belong to something like an important cause?

This is not about making you feel guilty but examining whether being offended is serving you. Could taking offence be a cover up for something else lying beneath the surface? I don't know and neither will you unless you sit with your thoughts and examine them. For example, I stopped being offended many years ago. It took a great deal of self-examination, but I realised it was not serving me anymore. In fact, it was retarding my growth because I was offended by those whom I didn't know and whose values and opinions differed to mine. These were people I had never met, yet I was offended by a comment someone wrote in response to an article. It became clear one day when I realised: "Why am I allowing this person's comment to hurt me?" What followed was a silent voice that responded: "Because you have the seed of that offence within you." My core self was telling me this individual was mirroring my deepest thoughts about myself. It wasn't until I healed and transformed these thoughts, I overcame my hurt with others.

Silence The Monkey Mind

How about you? Think of a time where you took offence to something, whether recently or in the past? Undoubtedly, family and friends can push our pain buttons because they know our weakest points. They are great teachers insofar as they expose the truthfulness of our thoughts. I use the word teachers because we can learn to overcome our shortcomings through the experiences our family and friends expose us to. What I'm saying is: there are other ways we can respond that doesn't involve being offended. For example, silence and introspection are ways in which we get to the heart of what is taking place within our psyche. We might journal our thoughts and reactions to see whether they are serving us. There may be a sense of belonging that comes with being offended or aligning our values with moral causes. Whatever you decide, it requires choosing empowering responses aligned with your integrity and authentic self.

As mentioned earlier, being easily offended became a learned response for me. When I looked within me, I discovered the emotions underlying my experiencing were not what I wanted to experience, so I changed my response. It's about finding peace and maintaining equanimity rather than having our emotional wellbeing hijacked. In these times, there's a great deal to be offended about and the world will pull us in every direction not of our choosing. Suddenly, we find ourselves caring about issues that really don't matter to us but seem justified. We need to be purposeful where we direct our attention and not make it an automatic reaction. We ought to examine our thoughts to see whether being offended is serving our personal evolution. As alluded to earlier, silence and self-enquiry are foundational elements to help us deal with the strain of everyday living. We learn to silence the monkey mind which retaliates and responds in anger instead of allowing the emotion to move through us.

With this in mind, is it possible to suspend your judgement the next time you are offended? Instead of reacting, could you allow yourself to interact with what is taking place in your mind-body and allow the emotions to move through you instead of identifying with them? The only way is to try. There may be instances where being offended serves us, however I have yet to come across someone or something who has offended me to the degree I have been angry for hours or days. The more we know ourselves, the more we accept that others aren't that different to us and we needn't be offended but turn within to examine the seed of the insult within us. Your call to action in the coming weeks is to look within when you feel offended and examine whether it is serving you? Ask yourself what being offended brings to your life that peace and harmony cannot offer? Journal your thoughts and allow yourself to see through the fog of separation that says they are wrong and you are right. Ultimately, when we're easily offended, we not only close the door to true understanding but we limit our capacity to evolve in the space of oneness.

https://ezinearticles.com/?When-We-Are-Easily-Offended,-We-Close-The-Door-To-True-Understanding&id=10100730

What Are You Learning in This Stressful Time?

Humans are wired to learn from pain and discomfort. When all is going well we relax and go into neutral, like an idling car. When we're faced with fear, hostility, physical and/or emotional pain, and other such lower frequential energies, we tend to go into action, pedal to the medal. "Why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this?" and other such questions quickly arise.

Well, face it. If we were happy and comfortable all the time would we really want to change anything?

Growth, improvement, healing, and other such changes only occur when we've been made uncomfortable enough that we don't want to tolerate the situation any more. It's then and only then that we begin to desire change.

And so we've just had one of the most uncomfortable years in our history. Suddenly everyone wants things to be better - our government, our health, the climate, the economy, the environment, and more.

Here's the deal: true change only happens when the learning about an experience is complete. As a dear friend used to say, "When it becomes a no-thing then you're done with the lesson and can move on." In other words, when you've acquired all the learning you need and/or want about an issue or situation, at that point you become bored or tired of it. That's the signal that you're ready to move on with your learning.

Since we're still battling the viral pandemic, we don't yet have a government that works for the people of our country, gazillions of people are still unemployed, and we still live on a polluted planet, evidently we're not complete with our learning regarding these issues. Now is the time to begin thinking of what kind of world, government, and culture you want to live in so that you can create it.

But first, you must get clear - absolutely clear - about what you've learned. Only then can you define what you want.

After you've determined what it is you want, then you can envision it and describe it in minute detail. As you do so, feel the sensations and emotions you'll have when your vision is a reality.

Ask yourself such questions as:

• What caused me pain this last year - emotional, physical, or both?
• What did I learn about the issue/situation?
• What did I learn about myself while I was experiencing that which caused me the pain?
• How do I want to see this situation/issue changed so that it becomes beneficial for all?
• What am I willing to do or refrain from doing in order to assist the changes I desire into becoming reality?

Now, do something. Take a step big or small, and change your world so that it better reflects what you truly wish it to be.

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Are-You-Learning-in-This-Stressful-Time?&id=10410488

Why Most Problems Have A Way Of Resolving Themselves When We Get Out Of The Way

Trust That Life Knows What It's Doing

When problems occur, what is your first reaction? Do you worry about it and immediately try to fix it? Do you become anxious, frustrated or angry? It's natural we respond this way, but what if there's a better way? What if we don't have to get caught up in the mental muck? We often try to solve our problems with a limited mindset and don't have all the answers before us. Moreover, the situation may still be developing and requires more time to take shape. Therefore, our reaction is based on what is taking place at the time, instead of waiting for things to unfold. We become too invested in our problems and complicate matters further.

Sometimes, things are better left to resolve on their own, without trying to force it. Can you relate to this? Can you think of a specific example where you forced something to happen, and things got worse? It happens all the time; we make a mess of our problems when we try to manipulate them. It requires a certain mindset to trust that our problems will resolve themselves when we get out of the way. I'm not talking about apathy or resignation here, but an inherent trust that life knows what it's doing. Often, circumstances will fix themselves with little or no participation on our behalf. It's difficult sometimes to know whether we need to take action or leave things alone.

Regrettably, some people take too much action to resolve their problems. If they let things be, even though conditions are not favourable, the problem will fix itself in due course. Obviously, there are matters where immediate action is required such as our health, finances, career or relationships. But often, the more we worry and force a situation, the more out of control it becomes. I've noticed this particularly with relationships. If we're constantly trying to change other people so we will be happy, we are bound to experience misery and disappointment. But if we accept others as they are and change the way we look at things, our problems will settle in due course. I'm not suggesting we tolerate abuse in our relationships. I'm reminding you to accept people as they are, without controlling conditions.

Try Something Different

Is this something you're willing to try? Could you respond differently to experience a different outcome? If we respond the same way each time, we set ourselves up for disappointment. It requires a change in thinking, and this can be the troublesome part because we are taking a leap of faith. To take a comedic perspective, I'm reminded of an episode from the sitcom Seinfeld, in which the character George Costanza, played by Jason Alexander, tells Jerry that every decision he has ever made has been wrong, and that his life is the exact opposite of what it should be. Jerry persuades him that "if every instinct he's ever had is wrong, then the opposite has to be right." So, George experiments doing the opposite of what he would normally do and experiences a series of fortunate breakthroughs. His life improves when he acts on the opposite of his instincts.

Whilst a fictitious story, there's an element of truth to it. If we're not experiencing better outcomes, it makes sense we change how we respond to our problems. I'm encouraging you to trust that life knows what it's doing and problems we consider unpleasant, will resolve themselves without trying to fix them. Therefore, I encourage you to put this advice to practise in the following way. Over the coming days, simply try it out. If there's a problem you're dealing with that doesn't need your direct involvement, could you let go of worrying about it? Could you allow life to bring you the best outcome? Could you let go of anxiety and frustration?

If we respond the same way when problems emerge, we train our mind and body to react the same way. Even if the situation is favourable, we might sabotage it because our first reaction is one of anxiety and frustration, instead of patience and trust. I speak from experience and know if I get out of the way and keep my wits about me, a resolution will emerge better than I imagine. It requires practice, patience, and the willingness to try something different, instead of reacting the same way. Go ahead; try it. If you keep a journal, instead of worrying about the problem, journal your thoughts about it. Then you can look back and see how far you've come in your personal growth. After all, most problems have a way of resolving themselves because when we get out of the way, life will do its job and bring us exactly what we need.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Most-Problems-Have-A-Way-Of-Resolving-Themselves-When-We-Get-Out-Of-The-Way&id=10432486

The Universe Is More Invested In Your Personal Growth Than Your Happiness

Happiness Is A By-Product Of The Growth Achieved

Everyone desires to be happy because life is empty if we are unhappy. But we needn't place happiness above our personal growth, and here's why. The primary function of the universe is growth and expansion.

Now, just so I'm clear, I'm not suggesting happiness is something we mustn't strive for. Every person must endeavour to find happiness in their lives, whether through their purpose, passion or fulfilling their creative goals.

What I'm proposing is that the life will place a greater importance on our personal growth than our happiness. Because the universe is constantly expanding and developing, it will favour change and growth through every living thing.

Life is invested in our growth in proportion to the expansion taking place in the universe. If you are not convinced of this, simply look to mother nature, in which the animal kingdom and the environment are constantly changing.

I agree that while happiness is a worthwhile aim, it does not serve the universe's function of expansion as much as our personal growth. Is this an idea you're willing to embrace on some level? I know you have questions and perhaps you might disagree with some of what I've said, and that's okay.

The key is to awaken a growth mindset and consider your life through a different lens. Like you, I believed attaining happiness was my primary role. But in pursuing happiness, the less happy I was.

I couldn't hold on to it, no matter how hard I tried. Not that I was depressed or lacking; it just seemed elusive. Moreover, when I thought I had found happiness, it would slip through my hands.

Around this time, I undertook intense research into happiness. I worked with clinical psychologists in mentoring programs, to better understand the human condition. I read hundreds of books on the topic and attended seminars by esteemed experts in the area.

There was one key element that kept surfacing throughout my research. It was the idea that when we pursue personal growth, happiness is a by-product of the growth achieved. We cannot interrupt the process, otherwise we don't see the benefits.

You can be unhappy, yet experience enormous personal growth because happiness comes later, once your level of awareness and consciousness has increased. Clearly, you're invested in your personal growth if you are taking time out to read this article. Part of you identifies with the growth and expansion of your inner being.

Therefore, the universe will place your happiness secondary to your growth, to ensure its aim of expansion is complete. It is more invested in your growth because it serves life's function of expansion.

Again, I'm not suggesting we don't pursue happiness because it is evident throughout our relationships, purpose, career, goals and other areas. Happiness is a notable and worthwhile pursuit.

I'm implying that growth is higher in importance because from growth emerges happiness. Furthermore, happiness is not our primary role in life because if it were, why are so many people unhappy? Are you beginning to see that investing in yourself can lead to a happier and fulfilling life?

Focus On Personal Growth Without Sacrificing Happiness

Similarly, growth is not linear. It ebbs and flows, and sometimes we will slip backwards. Sometimes we repeat the same mistakes until we learn the lessons. But nothing is in vain. It doesn't matter how long it takes to gain the lessons or growth; there's a lot hinging on the expansion of your consciousness.

Dr David Hawkins, a consciousness researcher and psychiatrist, believed that by elevating our consciousness, it can affect many thousands of people. He outlined a map of consciousness chart, the calibration values of each level.

He believed that one individual at level 700, counterbalances 70 million individuals below level 200. One individual at level 600 counterbalances 10 million individuals below level 200. One individual at level 500 counterbalances 750,000 individuals below level 200.

One individual at level 400 counterbalances 400,000 individuals below level 200. One individual at level 300 counterbalances 90,000 individuals below level 200. Twelve individuals at level 700 equal one avatar at 1,000.

Only 15% of the world's population is above the critical level of 200. That 15% has the weight to counterbalance the negativity of the remaining 85% of the world's people. Were it not for these counterbalances, humanity would self-destruct out of the sheer mass of negativity.

You can clearly see why personal growth is fundamental to your life and the survival of our species. So, what can we do to focus on our personal growth without sacrificing our happiness?

It involves focusing on our passion and purpose and living our highest aspirations. Second, we ought to invest in our personal growth regularly. This requires healing our traumas and wounds to transform the past. We ought to practise forgiveness, which must include ourselves. We must strive to find inner peace, even in situations we regard as unpleasant. Finally, we ought to express gratitude for the smallest things because they become amplified, the more we focus on them.

It is with this understanding; I invite you to write 3 to 5 things you could do to enhance your personal growth. It might involve being mindful of your thoughts and negative emotions. You might choose to forgive those you've held resentment or anger towards. It might mean making peace with the past or changing your beliefs about it.

Whatever you choose, as you attend to your personal growth, there will come a tipping point where it will translate into fulfilled happiness and expansive joy throughout your entire being.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Universe-Is-More-Invested-In-Your-Personal-Growth-Than-Your-Happiness&id=10454422

How to Turn Life's Lemons Into Lemonade

This article is a shift in terms of focus. Although relevant for the fields of business development and growth, the theme of this article is on personal development before business development.

I've always been a huge fan of sales gurus and personal growth experts like Zig Ziglar, Earl Nightingale, Norman Vincent Peale, Dale Carnegie, etc. While initially thinking these guys were full of 'it' and irrelevant; now, with time and experience having matured me to a reasonable level (I hope), I've come to not only attest to truths that these guys and others live by and teach, but also their beliefs and wisdom are very relevant and timeless.

One of the core truths taught and deeply ingrained into my subconscious is the following: failures in life will either strengthen and motivate you to grow and develop or they have the very real ability to break you down.

What do I mean when I say failures in life? Well, quite simply, these are the moments in our lives that the results and outcomes come totally different and often more severe than we had anticipated. Whether it's a job loss, divorce, eviction, bankruptcy, failed job interview, a blown investment, or being defrauded by someone, we all face these challenges at one time in life or another.

The key that I've learned about these negative life events is that you have A CHOICE in how you respond. The thing that keeps most of us in 'ruts' of negativity, isolation, and hopelessness is that we allow ourselves to be motivated by fear in a wrong way. Rather than thinking about how worse and severe a negative life event can become, why not choose to be motivated by the fear of the situation to take hold of hope. Choose to take a strong hold of hope and never let go no matter how bad it hurts or feels.

Now here's another underlying truth in being motivated by the fear of negative life events: don't labor your mind or put a heavy burden on yourself for solving your problems overnight; instead, relax, rest, and remain positive. What I've learned and continue to grow in is that more than likely the answer needed to resolve the problem(s) is right under your nose or floating somewhere in your mind. How do these 'uh huh' moments happen? Truly in the most odd ways possible to be completely honest. There's no secret formula (or at least one that I've found that works) or secret sauce that induces these moments, but here's one way to put yourself in the state of mind to increasing their frequency: relax, live life, serve others well, listen more than you speak, forgive completely, and love sincerely.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Turn-Lifes-Lemons-Into-Lemonade&id=9843781

Are You Humble or Vain?

Many of us are raised into believing that humility, modesty and inner values are virtues. - And that those are superior and contradictory to being vain, selfish, and superficial.

That money not only can't buy you love, but it's the root of all evil. That we're not supposed to think too highly of ourselves, and that wanting more than your average peer is "vain", "selfish" and "greedy".

... And I say that's all a huge load of life-denial.

Want six-pack abs? Of course you do!

Want a pimped-out car? Cool!

Want to be rich? Well, who doesn't?!

Want to eat out at fancy restaurants every week? Well, count me in!

Sadly, there's a prevalent way of thinking that allegedly, only weak individuals who try to cover up low confidence strive for these things. And that the two are incompatible contraries.

However, I've found the opposite to be true.

Whether you can have a humble outlook and still cultivate outer values is a matter of confidence. Because confidence is a matter of personal growth, and being able to contain presumed differences and paradoxes.

I used to think that nothing made any sense because nothing has any inherent meaning or value, and therefore, nothing mattered. And so, it didn't matter what I did or whether I felt good, so I might as well feel miserable.

Today, I KNOW that nothing makes sense, has any meaning or value - so we have to apply our own meaning and value. I KNOW that my existence is as objectively pointless as any other human being's. - But also, I sure do know what I like. So I'll have some more of that while I'm here, thank you.

Non-fidence often entails envy of other people's fortune. With thinking in terms of scarcity, pettiness and settling - rather than abundance, admiration and ambition.

When you see successful people driving cool cars, dining at expensive restaurants, working out to get slim and fit, and whatnot, those things are assuredly a reflection of confidence. - Feeling that you're worth something, and that it's totally cool to have nice things because why shouldn't you be allowed to?

"But they're only brief values, not permanent ones!"

... And??

Whenever we eat anything, it's a passing pleasure. And, for that matter, whenever we have sex, watch a movie, get drunk, have fun and all-round entertain ourselves. Life CONSISTS of passing moments and sensations: Why not make sure they're enjoyable?

Don't get me wrong. We should, ideally, feel good about ourselves no matter what we do. But I believe it goes the other way, too.

I believe that the things we do should also make us feel good. If someone else considers them "vain", so what?

Just because you feel good doesn't make it right. I know. But that in itself sure doesn't make it wrong, either.

We're here once. (And there's no sensible reason to believe otherwise until someone presents sufficient evidence.) So for goodness' sakes let's go ahead and make that one time worth looking back upon.

ACTION ITEM:

Indulge yourself. Do something you've been wanting to do, but didn't because you thought it might be too vain or selfish.

If you want to be worth it, go ahead and think that you are. That's how we grow a little.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Are-You-Humble-or-Vain?&id=9733248

3 Extraordinary Ideas To Help You Realize Lasting Freedom

In those silent, but magnificent moments of life -- where we are suddenly given a glimpse of something so beautiful that it quiets the mind -- we know that we stand in the presence of something that represents a new and higher order of ourselves. What we've yet to understand about these fleeting experiences is that they are an invitation to become fully conscious of these timeless and vital forces as a living part of who and what we are in reality. In such moments we know, without having to think about it, that as beautiful as the world around us may be, it pales in comparison to the world that awaits us within us. Let's illustrate this last idea.

If you've ever taken a walk through a deep wood on the sunlit day and stood in the silent shafts of light streaming down and through the trees, then you know, even though these bright beams seem to appear randomly and separately, each ray of light comes from a common source: the sun. The same holds true with these beautiful timeless qualities that sometimes streak into and through our hearts and minds. These celestial characteristics are the too-fleeting expression of our own yet to be realized True Self. But if this is true, which it is, what is it that keeps us from permanently entering into this extraordinary life? As you'll see, the answer is surprising!

We don't really know where to look! Or perhaps, more clearly stated, we tend to be looking in the wrong places because, at present, we see our life through a part of us-our senses-that "tell" us that we live apart from all that we see. The sorry result of this incomplete perception is undeniable: instead of an undivided relationship with the extraordinary life within us, we are reduced to a frantic search outside of ourselves, at best finding only temporary fragments of the freedom for which we so long.

How do we regain -- realize -- our relationship with the innermost truth of ourselves? What must we do to enter into a conscious relationship with the extraordinary life within us? Use the following three simple exercises to do two things at once: first, to reveal what stands between you and the higher freedom you seek, and then to release you from the same. There's an old saying that "rain follows the plow." So is it true that realizing our true higher possibilities follows the interior work necessary to realize them.

1. Open Up To Real Life: Dare to see and experience yourself as you are without giving names to any of the myriad states of self that present themselves before your inner eyes. Resist the temptation to interrupt whatever thoughts and feelings are rushing through you by trying to explain to yourself why you're having the experience that you are. Why open yourself up to life in this way? Because it's the only way to see that the true extraordinary you can no more be defined by a single thought or feeling then can the sun be known through a solitary beam of light.

2. Do What You Fear Doing: Every time you will take the leap into what you are psychologically afraid of doing, the extraordinary life within you will prove that its unshakable ground is beneath you at all times. To know that you can't fail as long as you're willing to learn what the moment reveals about yourself is the same as understanding there's nowhere for you to go but up!

3. Take Time Once A Day For Your Self: What we must remember is that the extraordinary life is timeless, and if we would share its life, we must enter into its world. Here's a good place to start: whenever you can remember to do so, choose to consciously step out of that gilded, but self confining, cage called "thinking about yourself." At least once a day sit quietly with the intention of observing the movement of your own mind. Learning to watch your thoughts in this impersonal way gradually teaches you what can be discovered in no other way: just as the hands of a clock can only go around and around, so it holds true for the level of mind always frantically searching for highest possibilities in passing time. Who you really are is timeless, and only this realization can grant you the extraordinary peace of being who you really are.

https://ezinearticles.com/?3-Extraordinary-Ideas-To-Help-You-Realize-Lasting-Freedom&id=9868954

How to Change Your Life by Changing Your Thinking

 "No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." - Helen Keller

Depending on where you are living, you could be waking up to spring daffodils and birdsong or, you may be shoveling out from the latest snowfall. Sometimes it feels as though nothing is happening and that today is just a repeat of yesterday. But, whatever your circumstances, remember, this too shall pass. Change is just around the corner.

How can you make the most out of what is or isn't happening in your life at this time? You may not be able to change your circumstances but how could you change your attitude toward your circumstances? What if you were to flip whatever you're telling yourself about your circumstances and re-frame it so that it empowers you? For instance, try removing the words, should, could, can't or never from your self-talk. Replace these with words that build you up rather than tear you down.

We are all engaged in too much negative self-talk. Just look around and you will see it reflected back in the world. The more we focus and talk about everything that is wrong in the world, the more we collectively seed the thought pool of lack and limitation. It's this all or nothing thinking that keeps us stuck in this endless pattern.

Wouldn't it be more fun to feast on thoughts and words that accentuate the positive in our lives? We can all do this by paying attention to what we think and say. As thoughts come up in your mind, notice how you feel. You can tell by the way you feel if your thoughts are uplifting or taking you in a downward spiral of negativity.

Watch what you say. Your words contain powerful energy. Whatever you say out loud acts like a boomerang and comes straight back to you. The point is, you have the power to choose in each moment which path you want to travel through life on. You don't have to go it alone. Find others who are stepping off the beaten path to support you. You could start a book group or join a group with others who may be interested personal growth. You can start right now to plant new seeds of positive thoughts then water them daily with positive affirmations.

You can change your life. One thought at a time.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Change-Your-Life-by-Changing-Your-Thinking&id=6030486

Is There Destiny, Luck, or Opportunity? (By Kit Gupta)

The news about my boss Andy giving his two-week notice spread like wild fire in the department. Everyone who reported to him was apprehensive about who and what the next guy would be like. Will the new guy be better or worse than Andy? Everybody was concerned about how this change would affect them, including other managers that worked with Andy. Two weeks after Andy was gone, as I was working on the production floor, one of the technicians came up to me and said, "So I heard you have a new boss now."

"Do I?" I inspected some plastic parts coming off a molding machine and replied softly.

"You didn't get the news yet? You and I will both be working for Shaun now," he said as he scrunched up his face in discontent.

"Is it that bad?" I inquired.

"I don't know how much you've worked with him, but he doesn't deserve to be a manager," he added, "The stars were lined up just right for him and the timing of it was right. That's the only reason why he became our boss."

While speaking to an event at Trinity University in Dublin, Ireland, I posed a question to my young audience. I asked if every single thing that they had in their life till date was because of their own action. Some agreed, while most nodded their head with disapproval. Upon continuing my discussion, some of the audience described that they're fortunate to have somethings in their life that they just got and never had to work for it. When I inquired what they thought gave them those things that they're so appreciative of, they used the words luck, destiny, and opportunity.

I want to share what I think about luck, destiny, or opportunity using the personal experience I shared in the beginning with you about my boss Andy and his departure. Andy made a conscious decision to quit and move somewhere else. So Andy created what he wanted through his action. However, Andy's action also resulted in creating a vacant spot in the department. It'll be foolish to say that Shawn intended that.

Did Shawn get the position because of his own action?

One may argue that just like Andy, Shawn made a conscious decision of taking the position, so he created what he wanted through his action. Yes. But one intricate component of this scenario is that the decision made by one person (Andy) impacted what the other person (Shawn) got. That is what we call is destiny, luck, or opportunity.

Every one of us experiences this phenomenon in our personal relationship or professional career at some point of time in our life. Think of experiences in your life or someone you know. That relationship that you so deeply desired with someone, but it never worked out (or when it did workout flawlessly). The job or promotion in your career that you so yearned for and worked hard for, never came to fruition (or when it turned out exactly the way you intended it to). Undeniably, there is some lack of control that we all experience with people and events in every scenario of our life. But it is this same lack of control that plays a significant role in the decisions we make (or don't) which ultimately dictates what we get (or don't) in all domains of our life. This unknown or "out-of-our-control" aspect of our life is destiny, luck, or opportunity. However there is key component that keeps our destiny, luck or opportunity alive. Only when we act does our destiny, luck, or opportunity has a possibility to work as well. All beings (plants, animals, you and I) at every level of evolution follow this principle. If all the ingredients necessary for the growth of a seed are available to it, however, if it does not do what it must do to sprout, irrevocably, it stays in the same state it was in. Whatever you choose to call "it": destiny, luck, or opportunity without your action, the fate of your luck, destiny, or opportunity is dead.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Is-There-Destiny,-Luck,-or-Opportunity?&id=9876466

Poetry Therapy, My Outlet in Managing My Anger

Poetry therapy is the intentional use of poetry and other forms of literature for healing and personal growth. The objective is to achieve psychological well-being and healing through the uses of poetry or other spoken or written media.

But in my case, I used poetry as my outlet in managing my anger. I put everything into writing instead of expressing it verbally since anger is a negative emotion. It is a negative feeling that could destroy relationships and personal self-esteem. It should be managed wisely to avoid its ill-effects in our personality.

Even though anger is a natural emotion, but sometimes it can lead to uncomfortable and uncontrollable behavior as if anger is controlling us. But if we let our feelings out by writing about them, we can reread them and be able to laugh about it once our anger subsides.

Writing our anger out is very healing especially in the form of poetry that can bring up ideas, thoughts, and insights we didn't know were there. Surprisingly, we would be amazed with ourselves.

One thing to be aware of, aggravating our anger is not a good idea. What we need is transformation, by learning how to express and understand ourselves from a different perspective. And this time through poetry writing or composition.

Learning to forgive others and learning to forgive ourselves takes time in controlling our anger. Although, forgiveness is a powerful tool but if we allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd our positive feelings, we might find ourselves swallowed up by our own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if we can forgive someone who angered us, we might both learn from the situation.

When we learn how to work with our anger, we are contributing to our own good physical health and the health of our relationships. Anger is not wrong or bad, the bottom line is in learning how we can harness our anger.

So, the key with anger is balance. Having safe and positive ways to express our anger is very important. It is our capability to train ourselves on how to control our temper and to remain calm.

In fact, we can use anger as a motivation to achieve something. To avoid trouble for instance, we can learn how to keep our cool instead of reacting to the cause of our anger. Although, it's normal to feel angry when we've been mistreated, it only becomes a problem when we harm ourselves or others.

So, why not try using poetry to ease you anger now? If I am able to manage mine, why can't you?

This article is another form of coping up mechanisms in which you can use poetry as a therapy to control your negative emotions. By putting into writing all your disappointments and displeasure, you will be able to minimize being angry; thereby making poetry as an outlet of your anger.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Poetry-Therapy,-My-Outlet-in-Managing-My-Anger&id=8761646

Do Not Ignore the Importance of Self-Care

Many times the hectic pace of life makes it difficult to do the things we need to do for ourselves. Whether it is time alone, meditation, reading, personal growth, or anything else that fills you up, taking the time for self-care is an important activity that should not be ignored.

NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF

Many people are driven so much by things such as money, success, recognition, even caring for others such as family and friends, that they forget the importance of relationships not just with others, but with themselves. What I mean by a relationship with yourself is taking the time to fully engage in fulfilling activities that replenish you, replenish your spirit, and allow you to be filled up.

When you are really "filled up" you are actually in a much better position to be successful in those other areas that drive you. Think about it. There has probably been at least one point in your life where you have felt overwhelmed by something. Stress at work, illness, kids, your spouse - these are all things that most of us will experience at some point in life, and the better prepared you are emotionally, physically and spiritually, the better you are able to handle these situations.

REMEMBER WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN LIFE

Having goals of regarding money, success, recognition are great, and it is important that you have goals, but it is also important to remember that there is more to life than just those goals. It is also important to realize that taking time to nurture your own needs will help you not only achieve your goals, but expand your boundaries as well.

For this reason you should not feel guilty about taking time for yourself. You are not neglecting other people or other responsibilities when you do so. As a matter of fact, it is not a zero sum gain when you nurture your needs. Instead, the result is that not only are you more fulfilled, but so are the people around you. The synergistic result can lead to results far beyond what you had originally imagined!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

So take fifteen or thirty minutes each day for self-care. Whether you meditate, write in a journal, listen to an audio book or podcast, watch a video, doing these things will make you feel better about yourself, make you happier and more relaxed, and help you to become more present in your daily life.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Do-Not-Ignore-the-Importance-of-Self-Care&id=10147359

Embark on Art Exploration for Wellness and Personal Growth

Why should women practice art? Artistic expression is considered as a fundamental need of human beings. This article aims at helping you start a fascinating creative journey by implementing 4 easy steps:

STEP 1: Be freed from unconstructive thinking.

The old-fashioned belief that art is something that only children practice or that it is just a waste of time should be dismissed altogether. Art practice can be a very liberating and empowering process for any woman. It is a fantastic opportunity to unravel your hidden potential or simply to unwind after a hectic day. People create artworks to communicate and to make sense of themselves, other people, and the world around them. It is also proven that art has therapeutic effects. It can be a mompreneur's special haven; you can express yourself and let go of any stress and tension associated with the modern way of life. Quite often as a working mother, you may feel overwhelmed by your responsibilities and multiple roles. Yet, by practicing art regularly, you can gradually restore your equilibrium. You can express your feelings and release tension at the same time. You become rejuvenated and return to your everyday life with new energy and an enhanced perspective on your real strengths and capabilities.

STEP 2: Explore your interests.

In order to practice art regularly and benefit from it in the long-run, you should find what interests you. So some introspection is required. Ask yourself: What do you like? Painting, dancing, writing, creating music, or taking pictures? You are more likely to continue an artistic activity you really enjoy. Of course, you can combine all these activities in case you are drawn to all of them. This is also one of the main strategies used by art therapy, which allows the combination of different avenues to creative expression. The more deeply you are immersed in the creative process, the more enthused and enthralled you become by what you can achieve with art.

STEP 3: Experiment and practice with confidence.

It should be stressed that you do not need to possess any special skills to produce art. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In classic art therapy, emphasis is laid on the creative process rather than the artistic outcome. This can also be your own guideline when creating art alone, without the supervision of an art therapist. You may not be able to gain specific insights which can only be offered by a professional, but still, the pleasure of free expression is a reward in itself. Do not be afraid to experiment with different materials, approaches, and methods to maintain your keen interest in artistic practice.

STEP 4: Develop your vision and maintain your motivation.

Traditionally the focus of professional and amateur artists alike has been on depicting harmony. Unlike science where priority is usually given to the process of analysis and dissection, one of the main preoccupations of people who embark on a creative process is to collect and unite elements in order to produce a harmonious whole that replicates nature in a way. Keep this in mind whenever you want to practice art to be inspired and stay true to the value of your mission. Make sure you devote enough time for regular practice. If you start practicing art and experience the satisfaction that comes from artistic expression, chances are you will feel motivated to carry on and make creative expression an integral part of your normal routine.

It is indisputable that art helps you live fully. It connects you to your authentic self and helps you find your inner voice. It enables you to articulate a message. It turns you into an agent that communicates. By doing something you really like, you become absorbed in the particular task, and experience unique emotions; you genuinely rejoice in your engagement with creative materials and methods. After some time of habitual practice, you will feel proud of your artistic growth, and this will boost your self-confidence. You will feel happy about following a creative path with surprising discoveries about yourself, the role of art, and your environment. The more you delve into art practice, the more you may realize that the boundaries between art and life are blurred, at least in some cases.

So follow these four steps and, if you wish, you are welcome to share your unique experience with us: Let us know how and to what extent you have benefited from implementing this plan for artistic exploration and personal development.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Embark-on-Art-Exploration-for-Wellness-and-Personal-Growth&id=8918435

Why Most People Rarely Learn Anything New

The human brain has an enormous capacity to learn. The paradox is it is filled with blind spots that limit learning capacity. For the most part, you only think the way you were taught to think. In effect, the way you do things is the way you do everything. The way you do things is shaped by the way you see things. The way you see things is shaped by the way you think or your thought process. Your thought process is an amalgamation of your brain's syntax. Your environment shapes your syntax. And your environment gives you the facts of life. Unlearning the learned facts is one of the biggest hurdles people face. And that interferes with personal and professional growth.

People make sense of new information by using existing knowledge and experience. If new information invalidates existing information, the person will defend what they already know, unless there is incontestable proof. In other words, people think the way they think because of the way they already think. Asking people to look at any situation from a new perspective is asking them to alter their brain's syntax. If that syntax is disrupted they will most likely resist. Hence, the incessant desire to disagree. That slows learning of breakthrough information. It is easier for people to add improvements to existing knowledge.

The topic of what we learn is inconsequential. Jean Paul Sartre talks about how people process information or incidents that occur in their lives. If, for example, a five year old is punished for speaking up, they will fear speaking up or resent not being able to speak up. Therefore, as a five year old, they will make a decision based on that one incident to keep their thoughts to themselves or be a rebel and speak up regardless of the consequences.

Irrespective of the choice made at five his or her life will be shaped by it throughout their life. In fact, they will believe it is inappropriate to speak up, if they chose that path. Sartre says once a person believes something is true, they will always seek evidence that their point of view is right. Being right is more important than learning something new. If you try to convince them otherwise, they will recall the countless times they paid a price for speaking up.

In some cases, because they remained silent so often, they may not have developed effective communication skills. As a result, when they speak up, it will be done clumsily and not embraced by others. It will be nearly impossible for them to see they are creating adverse situations by not being able to communicate effectively. If you attempt to teach them to communicate effectively, you will be teaching them on top of the mindset that speaking up has consequences. That is like putting icing on a mud pie.

This example highlights how everyone learns. We make decisions to avoid consequences. While it appears the decision kept us safe, we are stuck with it for the rest of our lives, unless we go through a significant transformation. And sometimes the catalyst for transformation can be temporary.

For example, Meyer Briggs personality assessment was administered to many companies in the twin towers of the World Trade Center. The assessment was administered before the events of 9/11. Shortly after the 9/11 incident the Meyer Briggs assessment was administered again to many of the same people.

In almost every case, their results changed. The catastrophic event had changed personalities and individual outlooks on life. Therefore, it appeared as though they learned to be different people. To see if those changes were sustainable, the companies administered the assessments five years after the incident on 9/11. And the results were amazing. Nearly every person went back to the same personality they had before September 11, 2001. That means their mindset remained the same. The severity of the event temporarily disrupted people's thought processes. However, when things returned to normal, so did their mindset.

So you know what you know because what you know has helped you survive and avoid consequences. Other times what you know gives you access to pleasure. Once you know what you know works, you stick with it. Anything that challenges what you know is difficult to accept because you already have proof that what you know works, even if it is not giving you what you really want. If you want to teach people something new, you first have to disrupt their existing thought processes and help them see themselves and the world from an entirely new perspective. That is where coaching plays a significant role. It is critical to stick with the person to help them make a smooth transition to live in a new paradigm.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Most-People-Rarely-Learn-Anything-New&id=9825747

The Strongest Amongst Us Are Not Applauded For Their Growth, Yet Bloom In Silence

Grappling With The Dark Night Of The Soul

Who are you in your quietest moments when no one is looking? How do you feed your soul when you experience pain and heartache? A wildflower by the side of the road endures the elements and yet blooms in silence. Therefore, strength is gained when others are oblivious to our struggles because we choose to feed our soul with nourishment. During such a moment we experience a shift in awareness that marks the mental landscape of who we will become. I'm reminded of the passage by the Zimbabwean author and poet, Billy Chapata who wrote: "The strongest ones bleed in silence. Have no one applauding their growth. Have no one watching their healing process. They bloom in silence."

Take a moment to reflect upon the growth taken place in your own life. What events or circumstances have shaped your development? Did you resist it at first, yet realise it was exactly what was needed for your personal growth? As you may know, growth is never linear, we may experience one step forward and two steps back. However, if we dwell upon our setbacks, we are not seeing the entire picture, but judging the fragmented pieces of a puzzle that will eventually come together.

Personal growth is an arduous journey lined with moments of despair, interspersed with joyous ones. This journey called life is a voyage of highs and lows. There is never a time when everything is smooth sailing because that would mean remaining idle and not developing our greatest strength. Perhaps we shouldn't cling to the good times but appreciate them when they arrive. I believe life is not meant to be a sea of happiness nor the depths of despair. Our journey is a transient tale of dualities, so we can experience our true nature amongst the peaks and valleys.

For example, has life been a series of good and bad times or is it smooth sailing? I'm yet to meet anyone who claims life has been easy-going. Even the wealthy with their material riches encounter problems. No one is immune to the ravages of life. Though, how we respond to our circumstances determines our level of growth or whether we remain mired in our problems. The strongest amongst us wrestle and toil with the fabric of their existence in silence, some of them grappling with the dark night of the soul. They bleed in silence. They bloom in silence and emerge stronger than before, for their wounds are sacred gifts to themselves and others. It is what spiritual author Matt Kahn means when he writes in Everything Is Here to Help You: A Loving Guide to Your Soul's Evolution: "To alter someone's experience is much like continually moving the seeds planted, hoping to find a more ideal spot for growth. Each time a seed is moved, the growing process is interrupted and disturbs the roots that are meant to sprout along their own rhythm of time."

Meet Others With Kind-Heartedness

We all have our cross to bear. Some of us carry heavier burdens than others but this does not diminish their self-worth. In fact, their spiritual path may be greater than others because of the challenges they face. So if we stumble across those experiencing hardship, instead of judging them, we may like to send them a quiet blessing. Because in the solitude of their existence they endure pain and suffering we take for granted. They do not need our sympathy nor do they need our judgement. Their pain and suffering is more than enough. What they need is thoughts of love and compassion. A Buddhist saying I often recite when I learn of someone's pain is: "May you be safe. May you be peaceful. May you be healthy. May you live with ease." Through this simple declaration I send them loving thoughts because what I wish for them, I wish for myself. I meet them from a place of kind-heartedness because I recognise their humanity, knowing our souls walk different paths. I remind myself they are not less worthy but they have chosen earthly experiences that demand greater growth.

It's no secret: how we treat others reflects in how we treat ourselves. The greatest gift I can offer myself is to treat others with compassion even if I can't do anything for them. It was the Dalai Lama who once said: "If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." If they need to suffer in silence, we ought to allow them the space to find their strength and courage. It is their path, and ours is not to judge nor castigate them but greet them with kindness and humility. The strongest amongst us suffer in silence because in those moments when they are grappling with their inner demons, they are close to awakening their inner power.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Strongest-Amongst-Us-Are-Not-Applauded-For-Their-Growth,-Yet-Bloom-In-Silence&id=9988360

If It's No Longer Working For You, Change The Dance!

Some people say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you are finding that things are working smoothly in your life, like a well oiled machine, keep doing what you're doing. If it's not broken, don't fix it! Instead, wash, rinse and repeat. And at that point, find yourself sitting in a space of gratitude for the blessings you've been gifted. But if you are beginning to see negative patterns in your life, and you feel like your continuously hitting a brick wall, you may need to change the dance. Change things up a bit and look within for your own personal growth.

We all develop defense mechanisms to cope with challenges and painful feelings or times in our lives to simply push us through the most difficult of times. Sometimes we develop these mechanisms without even knowing it. And it's those defense mechanisms that have helped us get through the most pain in the quickest time period, that we usually hang onto subconsciously. This is in its simplest form, muscle memory and a very natural thing to do. But there comes a point in time where these defense mechanisms no longer work in serving your highest good, so it's time to change the dance.

Remember that with our life experiences, we are constantly changing throughout the course our lives so why would we expect these same defense mechanisms to always work? Most defense mechanisms were developed as a child and in some cases in a very negative manner. A child who was ignored, for example, may have thrown themselves into their schoolwork to gain some sort of recognition. But what that child really did was, they moved away from dealing with the negative feelings within. And dealing with deep inner feelings is the only way to truly release the pain and get past the need to be on the defensive to get what we want out of life in a healthy manner.

We have the ability to heal our pain by diffusing the patterns that no longer serve us. Sitting with our pain or discomfort and really feeling it is the only way to release it. Painful as it is, only then can can you look within to find your truth and use that truth to deal with a situation or feeling to change the outcome of what seems like the brick wall. You can then seek from within that which you do want by adjusting and modifying yourself and your actions so that you can get it.

So, essentially, if things are not currently working out in the manner in which you hoped for, change the dance. In this new upcoming year, try to put down your defenses and begin using your mind, heart and spirit to find your own sense of peacefulness and joy within. You may then find your inner power to put new processes in place to get exactly what you are looking for in life. Remember, your peace and happiness all starts and ends with you and your mind! This, my dear friends was my lesson, once again throughout the course of this year. Life is a work in progress always!

https://ezinearticles.com/?If-Its-No-Longer-Working-For-You,-Change-The-Dance!&id=10052504

Why Your Soul Knows What The Mind Cannot Understand

Your Soul Knows The Best Path For You

Have you ever experienced a sense of oneness? A feeling of connectedness with life and the universe? What did it feel like on an emotional level? These types of occurrences are difficult to explain through logic and reason because the soul experiences what the mind cannot explain. For example, how do you describe the attraction towards another person via logic? You might describe how the other person makes you feel, but it is difficult to define the exact quality of the attraction. This is because emotions are the language of the soul and can only be experienced through the heart. Soulful living is an invitation to merge with our heart and mind through these faculties. Is this something you're willing to explore in your life?

I'll admit, it can be difficult to navigate our way through life at the soul level because the communication is hard to distinguish. In contrast, the language of thought is direct because we are familiar with it. This doesn't mean thoughts are the only way to make sense of the world. In fact, many of our problems stem from an overactive mind that leads to stress since we buy into the narrative our thoughts promote. Have you noticed this with the mindless chatter that takes place in your head which can cause chaos and confusion? The language of the heart speaks in silence and relays messages through subtle signs and symbols.

Your soul knows the best path for you in life, yet it may not appear that way sometimes because of the challenges you face. Regardless, these are vital lessons to expand your soul's evolution. I've experienced many of these lessons throughout my life and now realise my soul was communicating to me through these experiences. Whilst they were difficult, a new path emerged following the event that lead me in a new direction. Have you experienced something like this before? Whether it be the breakup of a relationship, losing a job or the unexpected loss of a loved one? Whilst these events can be distressing, they leave a ripple effect in our consciousness and we can never go back to the same way of living.

Acceptance Does Not Mean Resignation

I've written about my life-and-death encounter in earlier articles where I describe a gradual awakening that foreshadowed a new way of living. I began to read books on consciousness, personal growth and leadership and realised my experience was a gateway to expanded living. Regrettably, I lost many friends during this time whom I no longer identified with. It seemed we were speaking different languages that neither of us could understand and our life's journey was taking us in different directions. Naturally, I wanted to hold on to these relationships because I had known these people since childhood. As painful as it was, I allowed life to take the lead, and surrendered to the process. I stopped resisting the changes because they were happening, regardless of my struggle. My resistance only fuelled more suffering, and it was easier to go with the flow hoping it would lead to somewhere special. I'm glad I did because that special place is the one I am living now and the person writing these words on your screen.

Sometimes, what seems like the wrong turn, is the only turn we need to take for life to guide us where we need to be. The soul has a plan for us and knows the people that will enter our life at the right time. It knows what lessons we need for our soul's evolution. It makes it easier when we let go of resistance and learn to accept what is unfolding. Remember, acceptance does not mean resignation, nor does it mean we like what is happening. It means letting go of the mental drama of why things shouldn't be happening as they are. All our problems will melt away when we accept what life is trying to bring us. Sometimes the pieces may be still coming together and the situation may look fragmented. This is an opportunity to practice infinite patience and wait for the storm to pass, before taking the next step.

With this in mind, I'd like you to think about a difficult situation in your life right now. Ask yourself: What does my soul want me to learn from this experience? How does my soul want me to learn and grow from it? Journal your answers in a diary. I assure you there will be responses that come forth which may not make sense at first. Keep exploring them and follow the trail. Sometimes, it will be easy and at other times you will be frustrated because you cannot make sense of what is unfolding. This is natural because you might try to dance quicker than the song being played. The uni-verse (one song) has an inherent rhythm we must abide by and when we learn to synchronise with it, life flows easily and effortlessly. Your soul not only knows what the mind cannot understand, it knows the best way to get there.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Your-Soul-Knows-What-The-Mind-Cannot-Understand&id=10129590

The Biggest Benefits of Reading Self-Improvement/Self-Help Books

Undoubtedly, the finest way towards personal growth is to read books. In the modern world, the impact of quality self-improvement/ Self-help books is unfathomable. In an era when excluding a selective few, everyone else is suffering from the ill-effects of stress-related complications, the self-improvement books could act as life-saving drugs. These books would help us see things in a different perspective. The dark shades of life would suddenly appear grey and when probed further begin to reveal colours hidden in them.

Mostly, the solutions of our problems lay hidden within us or in our surroundings. The self-improvement/ Self-help books point towards the right direction and help us find the solutions.

Here are the reasons why you should develop the habit of reading the books for self-improvement?

1. Motivation: In real-life, self-motivation is not always possible. However, nowadays, you need to continuously push yourself to perform better whether you are a student or a professional. The books for self-improvement act as a sort of motivating factor. Psychiatrists' suggest people to start the day after reading some pages of a motivational quotes book of philosophy or self-improvement.

2. Inspiration: Some years back, we were moved after reading the story of an IAS Topper, G.K.Ronanki of Andhra Pradesh who successfully overcame the challenges posed by one of the toughest competitive exams held in India- the UPSC Exams, 2016. He made it to rank III. However, this feat alone does not make his story an inspirational one. G.K. Ronanki has achieved the feat by battling severe poverty. He is the son of two poor agricultural labourers in Andhra Pradesh.

Probably, the best way to inspire a person is to highlight the real-life stories of people who have endured immense hardships and came along winners. Some self-improvement authors utilise this tool to re-ignite the fighting spirit of the reader.

3. Encouraging Quotes: "Talk To Yourself Once In A Day... Otherwise, You May Miss Meeting An Excellent Person In This World."-Swami Vivekananda.

Start a day after reading such precious quotes uttered by the masters of the world of philosophy. In fact, many of us are in the habit of following such life quotes on the internet. Reading even a single page of a book of self-improvement on a regular basis could be even more helpful. The digital world is itself a source of mental and physical stress. Hence, compared to a mobile or static device for accessing the digital media and read inspiring quotations, it is always better to have a good book by your side.

4. Unleashing the Inner Possibilities: Every human being is gifted with huge and unique types of possibilities. It is only this that they remain buried under negativity, apathy and disinterest. The self-improvement/ Self-help tips would help the readers unleash their inner possibilities and fulfil their aspirations by building self-targets and encourage them to enhance their performance.

5. A Different Interpretation: A worthy book of self-improvement/ Self-help would help you interpret your life in a different manner. Not only your views would expand but also become more positive. The uplifting words will help you stay calm during an adverse situation. In fact, this is the fundamental concept behind leadership coaching.

6. Live Outside your Comfort Zone: "The further you get away from yourself, the more challenging it is. Not to be in your comfort zone is great fun." Benedict Cumberbatch

True words from the exceptional Hollywood hero. When you continuously push your limitations further behind, it is not only fun but it is the biggest proof of your personal growth. Self-improvement quotes could help you smash through your limitations, step into your problem zone and cultivate your inner possibilities to survive and flourish in this zone.

7. Developing Interpersonal Skills: Very often we come across people who are talented and hard-working but surprisingly enough, when the time of promotions arrives the individuals of lesser parity would surpass them to bag the rewards. This might even be the picture in an organisation where most democratic and equitable hierarchy system is followed. So, what could be the reason? It could be related to a person's interpersonal skills.

We know the importance of quality and impactful communication skills in the corporate world. The books for self-improvement would help you hone your interpersonal communication skills so that your professional goals might not deceive you for this limitation of yours.

Realise your dreams by self-improvement. Reading motivational books could be more helpful than you could even imagine.

Motivation- is all that we want in our life to incorporate our energy and efforts into a things that we love to do, that we desire from our heart. There are several ways one can be motivated in life, by watching videos or by reading the motivational books or inspirational novels etc. No matter what is our resource of motivation, we should find a right path to guide ourselves, our dreams, our desires.

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