Recognizing and Disengaging From Toxic People

 

If only people wore identity pins for their strongest traits the journey of life would be such a smooth ride; but we don't. People are free to determine how they want to be perceived and to practice until they are perfect at their presentation. You might imagine that a truly toxic person would be easy to identify and maybe they are; if you know what to look for! If not, prepare to be side lined by their vitriol and victimized for as long as you choose to remain in their sights. 'Sights' is the correct word; for they seek good targets and focus on them, fine tuning you into their line of fire like a scope. You're it!

These are the traits to beware of; whether in a relationship, a friendship, a work situation or just doing your job and suddenly running amok for no apparent reason.

1) Watch for their anger. It is palpable and always present. Clenched jaws or fists even when there is no clear reason are the most obvious signs. But listen; the tone in their voice suggests barely concealed anger.

2) Innocent comments that should elicit no emotion suddenly become fighting words. Out comes that hidden anger to blame, judge and finally accuse you. This leaves you wondering how the conversation derailed into this kind of chaos. Everything is a good reason for the anger to surface for toxic people.

3) Listen carefully. Even compliments are back-handed from toxic people. Almost every comment is negative, unless of course you offer a negative comment at which time you are wrong. They must be right, always.

4) They are quick to remind you of things they have done and failed to be recognized for.

5) Their world is about them. They love creating a scene, imagining it makes them appear important.

6) Your opinions are always wrong; they must not only be right but also the smartest one in the conversation. You must recognize them as such. Your failures to do this means you are questioning their intelligence.

7) They are always offended. Every comment is an effort to unseat them in the position of knowing more or being more than those around them. They take every comment personally. You may not even recognize the events as they begin their tirade about what they imagined just happened.

8) Constant verbal complaining about almost anything is typical.

9) They need to appear important; you can never appear more so than them. If you do so, expect the angry tirade about what you did wrong.

10) They are always the victim of somebody or some event.

You may imagine these traits are so bad no one could miss recognizing them. Not true; remember the discussion about how practiced we all become at how we want to be perceived? Bingo; like the fly and the spider web, they are clever enough to entice you with niceties, watch for the things that trigger your own emotions and load them into their arsenal to shoot at you later.

These people are all abusive. Like the best abusers, they will never admit what is happening. When confronted with evidence they cannot refute expect the number one response from an abuser, "See what you made me do!" Every event is someone else's fault. They are completely innocent, even appearing docile at times as they retreat to that perception they have perfected.

Perhaps the saddest part of this toxic story is how these offenders leave innocent people questioning their own actions and wondering how things went so badly. If you are in a workplace situation with someone like this deny them the opportunity to engage with you. They need a victim. Stay with firm, fair and friendly'; leave as soon as possible.

If you are a sibling in this situation remove yourself from their line of fire. Do not imagine you will change their mind. Their perception is altered to a place where winning is the only acceptable outcome, regardless of the damage necessary to effect that result. Quietly exit the situations they create with as few words as possible. Words are their arrows to shoot at you.

If you are in a relationship or friendship with a toxic person you win with your shoes. Walking away is the only method that guarantees you will not continue to be their victim. Cut the ties that bind. Pay attention to the signals toxic people send, to the traits that identify them. Too often we fall victim to the same kinds of people until we learn to recognize the misery they are engaged in perpetrating.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Recognizing-and-Disengaging-From-Toxic-People&id=10111203

Message From the Universe: Recharge Your Batteries With Some Time Off

"Remember when it was really fun to catch raindrops on your tongue, walk under archways because they were there, and roll around in the sand at the beach? To go all the way to the store for a tiny treat, lie on the grass looking for "God" in the clouds, and make scary monster faces in the mirror? To watch the stars because they were winking at you, count the flowers in the garden by the door, and put Cocoa Puffs up your nose?

Well, I'm happy to inform you, most of it still is.

Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h...

The Universe"

The journey of life is not solely reserved to working your butt off and not really enjoying the fruit of your labor. You need to listen to your body and take the time to relax. How many of your vacation days have you taken lately? Many have accumulated enough of these days off to take a sabbatical year and get paid for it. Vacation days are given to employees to allow them to recharge their batteries, to allow the body to de-stress, decompress a bit and take advantage of what life can give you. Do not forgo these days by pursuing your goals of reaching the top. Many thinks that taking days off shows laziness and by doing so, management will notice and will give away your promotion to someone else. If you understand and believe your value at the company, you wouldn't think this way. Quantity doesn't necessarily mean quality. You can stay at the office 24/7 making others believe you are working your ass off but your performance lacks result. That lack of performance will also be noticed by management and will end up making them wonder what are you really doing 24/7 at the office. Putting more time will just exert your energy quicker and your performance will suffer. Work smart without putting in crazy hours.

If you look at CEO's daily schedule, you will notice a few things in common. They take the time to work on themselves as much as they work for or with the company. They exercise daily, eat well, wake early, manage their time, take time to learn new things, attend seminars, spend time with family, and enjoy their life in the meantime. They do work very hard at work, but they also work very smart and do not believe that putting 20 hours of work daily will increase their productivity. There is no secrets here ladies and gents, you are on your job because you know what you are doing, or at least I hope you do. Always try learning new things, bettering yourself in the process, focusing on projects that will allow you to create new opportunities for yourself and your employer. Take the time for yourself as well and make sure to allow 30 to 60 minutes of physical exercise everyday. Control what goes in your mouth with the food you eat. You have heard the slogan before: "You are what you eat", so, if you eat crappy food, what does that make you? Oh yes, and if you have vacation days, TAKE THEM for god's sakes!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Recharge-Your-Batteries-With-Some-Time-Off&id=9614580

The Seared Conscience Understanding Karma

That small inner voice we hear reminding us why we should not make a choice to do something that is wrong or harmful to another is emanating from within us, from a part that is accompanying us on the journey of life. It is never really separated from us yet many attempt to silence it, to disconnect it from their daily lives. It is a little like hanging up the phone on an annoying caller. The more times we are willing to look away, to do nothing when something is required or choose to ignore the voice and do something we know will harm others, the greater the scar on our conscience becomes. It is seared when there is a total separation in our consciousness from that higher part of ourselves.

Karma is frequently used to remind us to follow the golden rule, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' The presumption being that karma will get you if you don't. Karma is energy, our own energy. Its range spans from light and clear to dark and murky. Just like our conscience. It carries the energy of our choices in life. It has no attachment to what that energy may generate. It does exactly what it was designed to do; carry the energy until it is time to meet it and rejoin it. Thus, you 'reap what you sow or meet your karma.' It is not vindictive. When difficult things come by way of a karmic debt it is simply delivering the results of the energy expended when it was activated. It is the bearer of the energy of cause and effect or action and reaction. Likewise, when unexpected events occur that bring great joy in our lives it is delivering the results of light filled energy.

It is delusional to imagine that you can 'shake it off' or ignore the energy that surrounds you. You created it through your choices; it accompanies you throughout life. Sometimes the delivery comes in small doses, other times it brings a major event. It arrives with the same intensity it was created in. If your past choices have been filled with darkness, bitterness, anger or hatred you are better served to run to meet the energy or karma. You do this by replacing harm filled events with kindness and empathy towards the affected party. If your karma is filled with light you have been steadily paying it forward and have learned that unexpected kindnesses are a part of life.

So many times we are counseled to 'make good choices.' Rarely does anyone tell us what is going on behind the scenes when we are making them. It is this very energy that is coming to life, emanating around our own life force and will stay until it is resolved, either way. That inner voice is not attempting to control us. It is reminding us that the road will be broken and bumpy with one choice and smooth and easy with the other. It attempts to level the path of life. Still, there is that still small give we are all endowed with at birth, a gift from the Creator called choice. The inner guidance is the wrapping on that powerful gift. To separate it from ourselves is to fall into the darkness derived from a seared conscience. Not in the end, but throughout life, it really is about choice.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Seared-Conscience-Understanding-Karma&id=9726921

How to Face the Realities of Life

LIFE GOES ON! Whether you continue to look at your past or you being contended move forward, life does not halt. If you are confronted by a disaster, life will not wait for you so that you may recover. A person should try to recover himself. Life continues, either you are sorrow stricken or cherishing the happiness of life.

In the journey of life, TIME is the only companion which snubs all the worries, panics and anxieties. It is of no use to look at the past because one cannot start the new chapter of life if one continues re-reading the previous chapter of life. Time heals everything. Time is the best teacher and healer. It soothes the person. Although sometimes it seems that time will not make a difference but in reality it comforts the person. Until or unless a person will not try to change himself, the healing by time is useless for him. Life is a mingled yarn of happiness and sorrows. Happiness and sorrows complete the circle of life. So the only way to put up with all the disasters is to put your trust in GOD. GOD always listens to a person and He always responds the call of mankind. So a person should learn from the bitter experiences of the past rather than mourning over it. He should play his part faithfully on the stage of the life so that in the court of GOD, he may succeed. The realities of life are bitter but not to face such realities being a coward is not the solution of all problems because the one who tries to sleep in the bony arms of reality are the most successful ones and GOD also bestows HIS blessings upon this person so in order to please GOD, in order to make oneself honest one should be contended and satisfied with his life. The one who always moans and groans over the pathetic situations of life is not the one who wins. If life brings some gruesome circumstances on one hand, on the other hand it also offers a stage to a person to enjoy the rain of life.

Often it happens that people change, circumstances do not remain the same. Things go wrong, priorities change, perceptions change but nothing is worth stressing over. The only solution is to leave people behind, move forward and do whatever is satisfying and soul-comforting for you. You live once. Live it at its best!

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Face-the-Realities-of-Life&id=9416478