Working in the Flow Reduces Stress (By Anne O'Dwyer)

Do you want to achieve more in less time? To enjoy what you do and feel happier and more alive? The answer lies in getting into the flow more often. You will have noticed when you are spending time on a hobby or something you love the hours seem to flash by. You are totally immersed in what you are doing and may not even hear the door bell.

As a child I read a lot and was immediately lost in the story I was reading. I do still find I can easily become absorbed in a simple task like sewing, decorating or even washing-up. It is now called being present in the now.

Nowadays I find noises like the TV or people talking are harder to ignore especially if what I am reading is more complicated or I am doing a task on my laptop. Pursuing this line of thinking I discovered a video on YouTube that gave some interesting pointers into getting into the flow.

First find things you love doing and have a passion for. Which explains how hobbies are one of the easiest ways of getting into the flow, and we have probably all experienced this blissful state when we are absorbed in something we love doing.

Skill levels - If what you are doing matches your skill level for that task it is easier to become absorbed. If we feel it is too simple and not worth our time we may feel bored. On the other hand if it is way beyond your skill level you are likely to become stressed. Therefore when learning something new break it down into small bites and it will be easier to learn, better remembered, and less stressful.

Eliminating distractions like interruptions, noise, telephones etc. or being disturbed, will help you relax into the task in hand.

Have clarity in what you are attempting to achieve, know what your aims for the task are and as much about it as possible before you start. Again consider your skill level and take small steps if you are learning something you are not familiar with.

Focus on what you are doing in the moment, leave other problems till later. The only task that needs attention right now is the job in hand.

All this takes time and practice and maybe a new way of looking at things. However you will feel more relaxed at the end of the day and are likely to have achieved more. If you can use these practices in your working life you will feel more motivated and you will look forward to your work with more enthusiasm.

Also learn to expect success and a good outcome for your task or project and you will find you feel less stressed and happier and in time serendipity will surprise you, by playing its part. You are likely to start finding you are in the right place at the right time. The brain is capable of much more than we think or understand at present, but the subconscious always guides you towards what you dwelling on, make sure it is what you want to happen!

The joy of feeling in the flow is one of the reasons I chose to work at home. To me the peace of my own surroundings against working in a busy office was of paramount importance. I could also tailor my work to my preferences and talents and out-source tasks I find tedious of difficult. I have an affiliate marketing business which, with the guidance of a mentor has allowed me to earn commissions whilst I learnt the techniques.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Working-in-the-Flow-Reduces-Stress&id=9568726

Today Is The Best Day To Come Your Way

Most times in life, we tend to focus more on yesterday's memories or on tomorrow's dreams, rather than being present in today's moments. We are too busy remembering yesterday and thinking about tomorrow that we more or less forget today. No doubt, there are several lessons to be learned and many pleasures to be gained respectively from past experiences and future expectations, but ultimately, the majority of time spent dwelling on things that happened in the past or on things yet to happen in the future is an injustice to the time that should be spent living consciously and purposefully in the present.

Indeed, there is absolutely nothing wrong with recalling good memories of yesterday or planning for a better tomorrow from time to time. But in doing so, don't get lost in the euphoria and forget that today is a new window of opportunity for you to renew and recharge your life with hope and enthusiasm. Besides, the road which leads to happiness and success untold can only be followed on this very day and not on days before or on days ahead. So instead of spending so much time recounting events of the previous day, or being anxious for the next day, embrace the present day with vigor and fervor for the hands of time to continually move in your favor.

Believe it or not, each new day including today carries along with it the promises of new possibilities and new opportunities for you to make new choices and new declarations. So even if you are not happy with what you did yesterday, today is here now for you to do something new and different. Likewise, rather than spend time worrying or wondering about what the future holds for you, use today to prepare yourself thoroughly for a more fulfilling life ahead. In any case, it's always best to live well enough for today, because even according to the late Dale Carnegie who is arguably one of the greatest minds of our time, "today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." Isn't that 100% true?

 "Never rewind yesterday or rush tomorrow to the point where you either neglect or reject today - Enjoy your day."

http://ezinearticles.com/?Today-Is-The-Best-Day-To-Come-Your-Way&id=9434731

A Harvard psychologist says your success in any situation hinges on 3 things

Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy is perhaps best known as the creator of the "power pose."

As she described in her 2012 TED Talk, power-posing is about taking advantage of the body-mind connection: You adopt the body language of powerful people so that you feel and act more confident.

But power posing is just one path to a state of calm self-confidence that will help you succeed in challenging situations. That state, which Cuddy calls "presence," is the subject of her new book by the same name.

Cuddy defines presence as being attuned to and able to express your full potential. When you're present, you approach challenges without a sense of threat.

Whether you're interviewing for a job or pitching your startup, people can tell right away if you're present, and they judge you more positively when you are.

In an interview with Business Insider, Cuddy said there are three things people see when you're present:

1. You believe your story

When you're present, you demonstrate conviction and passion so that other people come to believe your story, too.

In the book, Cuddy describes a yet-unpublished study she conducted, in which participants went through mock interviews. For five minutes, they had to persuade the interviewer that they were the best person for the job, while being completely honest. All the while, the interviewer held a completely neutral expression.

Three independent pairs of judges watched videos of the interviews, looking for presence, believability, and hireability. Sure enough, the interviewees who were rated more present were also rated more believable and more hireable.

Cuddy writes: "Presence mattered to the judges because it signaled authenticity, believability, and genuineness; it told the judges that they could trust the person, that what they were observing was real."

"A truly confident person does not require arrogance."

2. You're confident without being arrogant

In the book, Cuddy quotes a venture capitalist describing what turns him off during an entrepreneur's pitch: "They're too high energy and aggressive, maybe a little pushy. It seems defensive, I don't expect them to have all the answers. Actually, I don't want them to have all the answers."

Being open to feedback is key, Cuddy told Business Insider. The more you shut down other people and their perspectives, the less appealing you become. That's because it can seem like you're trying to cover up a sense of uncertainty.

"A truly confident person does not require arrogance, which is nothing more than a smoke screen for insecurity," Cuddy writes. "A confident person can be present to others, hear their perspectives, and integrate those views in ways that create value for everyone."

3. Your verbal and nonverbal communication is in sync

When we're being inauthentic — or when we're intentionally deceiving someone — Cuddy said our verbal and nonverbal communication is incongruent.

In the book, she explains that's because you're constantly trying to adjust what you're saying and doing to create the impression you think others want to see.

On the other hand, when we're present, our verbal and nonverbal behavior matches. People aren't distracted trying to figure out why something feels "off," and they're more likely to put their trust in you.

Ultimately, if you're confident in yourself, other people will be more likely to be confident in you, too. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll get the job or the investor's money, but you'll walk away knowing that you did the best you could — and the right opportunity for you is out there.

https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/harvard-psychologist-says-success-situation-153500508.html

When Sudden Change Hits, Being Present Is Half the Battle

Sudden change is a reality of human life. And it presents challenges on many different levels.

Maybe it's something that happens to you and throws everything up into the air, taking your breath away. And sometimes it's a friend's or a colleague's life that's turned topsy-turvy. However it arrives, sudden change often wreaks havoc with plans and schedules and leaves you feeling disoriented and unmoored.

Sudden Change Hits Home

I recently learned of a sudden loss suffered by a friend and colleague. My heart immediately went out to her. And one of the things I realized was that her loss had awakened similar losses for me.

So, not only was I feeling badly for her, but my own remembered griefs were reawakened.

Sudden Change: Sorting Things Out

I wanted to be supportive to her, and yet, I saw that I was having some fresh feelings about a particular loss of my own. So, in order to be fully present to my friend, I needed to sort out my own feelings and give myself some needed support before turning my attention to her.

This is so vital, because you can't see clearly or offer what your friend needs when your own suddenly-awakened needs are asking for your attention.

Sudden Change: 3 Timely Tips

Here are 3 Timely Tips (and Action Steps) to help you sort out your feelings, get your feet on the ground, and be present when a friend or colleague needs your support in the midst of sudden change.

#1: When a friend's crisis strikes a raw nerve for you, begin by addressing your own feelings independently.

Action Step: Avoid the temptation to 'rush to the rescue' when you identify strongly with a friend's misfortune. When you allow yourself and your friend needed space to sort things out, you learn valuable lessons about yourself and your own feelings. Take a breath and settle into yourself before acting.

#2: Ask, don't guess, what a friend in crisis might need.

Action Step: Instead of assuming you know what a friend needs, ask! Everyone's experience is different, and what feels helpful to you may not be for your friend. Commit to a way you can help that aligns with your time constraints, comfort level, and values. Don't over-reach - follow through is important - especially when the rest of life feels off-kilter.

#3: When big, sudden changes hit, expect to ride a roller coaster.

Action Step: Energy naturally peaks and drops when you face a sudden change or want to support a friend in crisis. Safeguard your time and your health by giving yourself some leeway. Expect things to take at least twice as long as usual, and plan accordingly. This relieves unnecessary stress and allows you to focus your energies where they are most needed.

Simply being present to a friend in crisis is probably the best gift you can give. I hope that these tips are helpful to you.

http://ezinearticles.com/?When-Sudden-Change-Hits,-Being-Present-Is-Half-the-Battle&id=9306891

Happy Thoughts: Here are the things proven to make you happier:

What’s the secret to a head full of happy thoughts?

Time to round up the research on living a happy life to see what we can use.

First, yeah, a good chunk of happiness is controlled by your genes but there’s a lot you can do to make yourself happier. Many of these techniques have been repeatedly tested and even worked with the clinically depressed.

Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude

I can’t emphasize this one enough. Showing gratitude for the good things you have is the most powerful happiness boosting activity there is.

It will make you happier.

It will improve your relationships.

It can make you a better person.

It can make life better for everyone around you.

Bronze medallists are happier than silver medallists. Why? They feel grateful to get a medal at all.

Every night before you go to bed write three good things that happened to you that day. Jotting those down is pretty much all it takes to get a boost in well-being over time.

There’s a second lesson here: the reverse is also true. Keeping track of the bad things will make you miserable. A convenient memory is a powerful thing. Do not train your brain to see the negative, teach it to see the positive.

Wanna make yourself and someone else extremely happy? Try a gratitude visit. Write someone a letter thanking them and telling them how much what they have done for you means. Visit them and read it in person. It’s a proven happiness WMD. 

Do what you are good at as often as you can

“Signature strengths” are the things you are uniquely good at and using them increases happy thoughts. Exercising signature strengths is why starving artists are happier with their jobs.

Think about the best possible version of yourself and move toward that. Signature strengths are the secret to experiencing more “flow” at work and in life.

Spend as much time as possible with people you like

Spend as much time as possible with people you like. The happiest people are social with strong relationships. Not spending more time with people we love is something we regret the most.

Being able to spend more time with friends provides an increase in happiness worth up to an additional $133,000 a year. 

Being compassionate makes us happier (causal, not correlative.) Share the best events of your day with loved ones and ask them to do the same. And compliment them — we love compliments more than money or sex.

But I’m an introvert, you say? A little bit of extraversion here would do you good. Happiness is more contagious than unhappiness so with amount of exposure to others, well-being scales.

Money is good. Many other things are better.

After about 75K a year, money has minimal effects on happiness. Read that again. Not that money won’t increase happiness but if you want to be happier, your time and energy are better spent elsewhere. It will not increase your moment to moment mood.

The Amish are as satisfied as billionaires and slum dwellers can be surprisingly happy. The happiest of all income groups is people making 50-75k a year. Money is good but wanting money can be bad.

Give

Giving makes us happier than receiving. In fact, it can create a feedback loop of happiness in your life. Volunteering makes us happier and can therefore be the most selfless way to be selfish.

Helping others reach their goals brings joy. Doing nice things for others today can literally make you happier for the rest of the week.

Savour

Take time to really enjoy the good things. What are the best ways to savour?

• Positive mental time travel: Happy memories or looking forward to something
• Being present: Not letting your mind wander and being absorbed in the moment.

Savouring is one of the secrets of the happiest people. Focusing on the limited time you have in this life is a good way to remind you to savour what is important.

Strive

You don’t usually do what brings you joy, you do what is easy. Set ambitious goals and strive. Thinking about what happens to you in terms of your self-esteem will crush you — look at life as growing and learning.

Sitting on the couch watching TV does not make you happy. You are happier when you are busy and probably have more fun at work than at home. Thinking and working can beat sad feelings. A wandering mind is not a happy mind. Mastering skills is stressful in the short term and happiness-boosting in the long term.

Be optimistic, even to the border of delusion

Optimism is key. Yes, pessimism softens the blow of bad news but it isn’t worth it.

Does this make you out of touch with reality? Maybe but being a little deluded is good:

• People with positive illusions about their relationship are more satisfied, score higher on love and trust and have fewer problems.

• Overconfidence increases productivity and improves teamwork.

• “Self-deception has been associated with stress reduction, a positive self-bias, and increased pain tolerance, all of which could enhance motivation and performance during competitive tasks.“

Love means being slightly deluded. Happy people believe their partner is a little more awesome than they really are. Someone you think is great who also thinks you’re great — it’s one of the primary things you should look for in a marriage partner.

Thinking happy thoughts, giving hugs and smiling sound like unscientific hippie silliness but they all work.

Fundamentals are fundamental

Cranky? Before you blame the world, eat something. Take a nap — it can purge negative emotions and increase happy thoughts. Sleep is vital because your mood in the morning affects your mood all day.

Get your sleep. You cannot get away with cheating yourself on sleep and being tired makes it harder to be happy.

Frequency beats intensity

Lots of little good things is the path to happiness. You want frequent boosts not rare big stuff. (And this explains the best method of how to split a dinner bill with friends.) For the most part, don’t bother to try and reduce the bad so much as you increase the good.

Stop thinking about big events that might make you thrilled — it’s the little things of everyday life that make lasting improvements to our happiness. You’re not going to win the lottery and it wouldn’t have the impact you think it would.

Avoid life’s most common regrets

We know what people most often regret before they die:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

There are things you can do every day to improve your life.

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/08/here-are-the-things-that-are-proven-to-make-y/