What Is The Source Of Your Personal Value? (By Tim Connor)

Each of us has a self-perception of our own personal value. Some people use money, wealth and net worth while others use position, power or influence and still others us legacy, fame and reputation or status. But there are also many who measure or value themselves based on service, humility, generosity and modesty. Have you got an opinion which of these are better or more valuable to define you? Better still - which ones do you use as a self-measurement? Even better still (I know getting old) how do you think most people who know you reasonably well, would define you? Could be scary.

As a global speaker in front of over several thousand people every year I have often wondered what categories many or most (not just a small few) people would put me in or use to define me. Again, could be really scary. 

"So, Tim, where are you going with this article - I've got other stuff on my plate today". In a hurry? Maybe we should add that one to your definition or one of your categories or how about - impatient, hurry-er, never enough time person, workaholic, Type A - I won't bore you with others as I've either lost by now you or you are laughing).

OK to my point - we all have or use certain benchmarks, tools, definitions or values etc. we use to 'self-value-measure' ourselves - here are just a few to consider. Why not ask yourself how you measure yourself or how does this area influence your life - could be an interesting exercise! PS: I'm not going into a lot of detail on these - they are just meant to be emotional or mental triggers to get you thinking or self-evaluating.

Here's just a brief summary of a few of the more common ones;

-Who you are - Your birth date, where you grew up, education history, how you were raised, siblings, how you were treated as a child - etc.

-What you have accomplished - Education, degrees, inventions, businesses started, competitions, climbed mount Everest or done nothing significant - etc.

-Memberships - clubs, organizations, civic clubs, community organizations, school clubs or belong to nothing - etc.

-Your spiritual outlook - a Christian, agnostic, atheist, believer, Jewish, some other values, not sure - etc.

-Accolades or special awards - professional designations, special community awards or recognitions, retirement awards, military designations, political, special degrees or none - etc.

-Where you live - what state, city, special development, private lot, condo in resort city, farm or country - etc.

-What you own - size of your home, how many homes, how many cars, special toys (boats, planes, RVs) jewelry, wardrobe - etc.

-What you drive - vintage car, expensive car, piece of crap - etc.

-What you know - education, degrees, special courses, books you have read, special designations or awards, the size of your library - etc.

-Charities you have helped - or not helped, this one is obvious.

-What makes you happy or content - people, activities, sports, entertainment, family, travel, success, life in general or nothing - etc.

-How you have succeeded - could be financial, position, professional, age when you did it, a combination of accomplishments or accomplished little of value - etc.

-What you do - career, home body, mother, teacher, retired, volunteer, CEO, world traveler or couch and TV potato - etc.

-Where you are going - your future career, your next vacation, your next relationship, your next anything or your next nothing - etc.

-Where you have been - past failures, past successes, past mistakes, past anything - etc.

-Who you know - special friends, no friends, neighbors, famous people - etc.

-Who knows you - same as above.

-Your special skills/talents - music, hobbies, wisdom, talents, writing, artwork or you don't have any - etc.

-Your beliefs/values - what are your standards, benchmarks, expectations, desires, goals, dreams, fantasies, hopes, fears, worries - etc.

-Who you are with - your spouse, your family, your friends, your employees, your customers, your business partners your or you are alone and have no one - etc.

-Who you have helped/guided - mentored, coached, counseled, children, family, friends, employees, customers, students or no one- etc.

-What you are worth - your stuff, your toys, your investments, your experience, your knowledge - etc.

http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Is-The-Source-Of-Your-Personal-Value?&id=9861436

Just A Fool

Have you ever felt like someone made you look like a fool; do you feel like a fool or believe you have behaved like one? What is the cause of our willingness to step into traps where we are destined to emerge under these conditions? If you've ever found yourself in this kind of 'fool's paradise' you already know how damaging it is to your self-esteem and how utterly painful the process of emerging can be.

Typically when we feel like a fool we believe we have been duped or deceived by someone; it is a blow to our perception of our own judgment. It's a little frightening to find ourselves in this situation, and not at all uncommon for us to re-examine everything that is important to us. It feels necessary to reaffirm that we were not blind-sighted about everything.

A common problem seems to emerge from these situations. It is not so much our judgment that is faulty, it is our own self-perception. We are most likely to fall victim to being hoodwinked when we imagine that somehow the person involved increases our own worth either in a situation or a relationship. Not that we feel better or more confident about our life or the outcome of a venture because of their involvement, but that we feel like we have gained greater worth as a person because they are with us or involved.

When we imagine that another person's presence provides greater desirability or credibility to our own or others opinion of us, we vacate the position of being in control of and responsible for who we are and where we are going. We are like a hitchhiker who depends on the assistance of another to deliver us to our destination, with little options if we arrive somewhere else.

This is most likely to happen when we don't feel worthy of having such a qualified, intelligent, successful, handsome, beautiful or important person at our side. Even worse, when none of those attributes are true but somehow we believed they were and so we thought we were more valuable because of their presence... welcome to 'fool's paradise.'

When we find ourselves in awe of any person, wondering what they see in us or why they are a part of something in our lives it is time for a careful examination of who they really are and what we believe we are not. It is essential that we believe we deserve to have happiness or success before we can ever experience the reality of it in our lives.

If you find yourself feeling lucky that someone is with you or wondering how long they will stay it is time to remove the rose-colored glasses and see both yourself and them with clarity. When we are afraid someone will leave or of what that might do to us, they are already leaving and we are already accepting the role of victim. Know thyself and be not deceived!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Just-A-Fool&id=9444102

Make Time to Smell the Flowers - The Power of a Flower

Making time to notice a beautiful flower is a great way to notice the simple things in life that can impact self-perception or aid in understanding differences in flowers that have different qualities or compare to people with different personalities. I'll bet you,I know what you are thinking? NO, I am not a crossover from the sixties, I enjoy nature and take advantage of what is given by nature. After a long, uneventful or overly loquacious week, I take the time to smell the flowers that let me live in their yards and on their turf. I realize that society can be compared to beautiful flowers. Making time to notice flowers is like taking the time to notice people and the beauty and power that we recognize in ourselves and in everyone else as well.

There are countless wild flowers, cultured or cultivated flowers that abound around city streets, walkways and yards everywhere. That's not even the beginning of what I can say about flowers. They abound and I am happy when that they surround me; to say that they offer fragrant scents, beautiful views and make endearing gifts is simply only the beginning. For generations we have taken flowers for granted and offered them as sacrifices, gifts and have even borrowed them to demonstrate our condolences.

A flower will never fail to present it's healthy beautiful best appearance, especially if it has been well fed, watered or kept in temperatures conducive to its natural environment. We can all learn a lesson from the flowers. Are you satisfied with the type of flower that your life represents?

Flowers are more resilient in their form and appearance than what is perceived at first glance. The same can be said for me and for you. We may sometimes, appear weak or easily upset, though we are resilient and attractive when we smile; are well rested; properly nourished; and in an environment that is conducive to our soul's mission, while living in a healthy environment.

Take the time to smell the flowers;notice new or pleasant, inviting, smells and scents. The time for waiting is over. The time for action is overdue. Take your cue from the flowers in your yard or garden and make your strong work ethic pay dividends for your hard work and input, strive to achieve your lifelong goals, make a plan and follow through.

Flowers never stop trying to be beautiful from the inside out and they always display their personal best assets for the world to enjoy. We are all flowers in different phases of existence. As a flower, you require peace, rest, and an appropriate vase to display your countenance. You decide if you are a beautiful red rose, romantic and expensive to maintain, a yellow rose, friendly, captivating and engaging, or an amazing daffodil, eager to please and learn from mentors or other flowers, the tulip that sings to its own tune, the sunflower, although a loner, very competent and willing to grow with every lesson; excelling amid excessive amounts of heat or competition.

Take the time to smell as many flowers as you can and heed a lesson from the flowers that surround your life. Some flowers, although brighter than others, are all different, unique and part of our environment. Flowers bring beautiful scents, views and when hard work is accomplished can easily blend well,or decorate any home, office, or garden or give its personal best effort as a gift, a sign of hope,or a symbol of sincere sorrow. Symbols of love or strength, much like me and you, only, we can

choose the tone and it's not too late to demonstrate your ability to expand and grow into a strong red rose or dainty daffodil.

If you call me, and I don't answer by the first ring, that's because I am probably outside picking flowers or admiring the scenic view; imagining what type of flower I will emulate for the day! We can all learn a lesson or two from the flowers in our view. Maybe to slow down, or to speed up, it's you who knows your best timing, like the way a flower decides when to blossom or when to relax..

Take the time to notice every flower in your day, whether literally or figuratively, there are a lot of great people and flowers with remarkable attributes and personalities for you to engage!

I enjoy learning from you offering me knowledge continuously!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Make-Time-to-Smell-the-Flowers---The-Power-of-a-Flower&id=9465077

Four Ways your Perception of Others Can Ruin your Life

How you perceive others has everything to do with your mental well-being.

This post will show you how this is the case and give suggestions to improve your moods.

The Austrian philosopher Martin Buber may have been the first to point out the not-so-obvious: Our perception of others has everything to do with self-perception.

How you feel about yourself – moment to moment – is inseparably tied to how you see others.

When you make this connection, you have a new avenue of self-healing. Here are some examples of how it works. We’ll deal with the chicken-egg question that will arise as you read  – at the end of the post.

1. Seeing others as critics.

Imagine going through the world seeing others as overly judgmental. They look down their nose at you, incessantly look for your flaws and think they are better than you.

How would you feel?

Well, judged and criticized at a minimum. You may develop chronic social anxiety. Seeing others this way might lead to an inferiority complex, feelings of ineptitude or worthlessness – and perhaps a feeling of hopelessness.

2. Seeing others as having it all together.

Imagine seeing others habitually as happy, well-adjusted people who don’t have serious problems. They are gliding through life doing very well for themselves and don’t have hang ups and personal issues. They have it all together, obviously!

Seeing others this way might lead you to feel broken. By comparing yourself to others in all their perfection, you will obviously suffer by comparison and feel like a reject; an especially flawed person who obviously doesn’t belong.

3. Seeing others as idiots.

You might see others as total idiots, low IQ numskulls who don’t have much on apes as far as intelligence goes. How do these people even survive? How stupid can you get?

Seeing others this way obviously puts you in an one-up position – and leads you straight into self-righteousness. You’ll think you are better than everyone and that nobody has a right to question you. So, when they do, you’ll get defensive or smug or uppity or take on a ‘how dare you’ attitude. Most people will know you’re self-righteous, too.

4. Seeing others as the means to an end.

In this case, you’ll use others for your purposes, without necessarily appreciating their efforts or sacrifice. Others will be tools in your hand – and only good for your purposes.

Seeing others this way, you’ll most likely see yourself as overly important. Your goals are so special that if others get taken advantage of in the process of achieving them, so be it.

You won’t get much love in return. Others will learn that you’re a user and resent you – so closeness, kinship and intimacy are out the window. You’re likely to feel a deep loneliness, despair or existential depression.

There are so many ways to see others in a negative light. Each way simultaneously adjusts your own attitude accordingly. The consequential thoughts and feelings may be hard to bear.

Chick and egg problem?

Of course we have what appears to be a chicken-egg issue here. Do your feelings of worthlessness, for example, lead you to see others as better-than? Or does seeing others as better-than lead to you feeling worthless?

If you see others as controlling, you’re likely to feel like a puppet on a string. But, which is true? Are others really controlling or are you really just a puppet?

In a way, it’s misleading to believe that one issue comes before the other, as both the puppet and puppet master are part of the same system. All the issues rise as part of the process of perceiving and responding to other people.

And the issues can be addressed from both angles. Work on your individual issues and you will gradually come to see others in a more positive light. Work on seeing others in a more positive light and you will gradually overcome many of your individual issues. It all goes hand in hand.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2016/03/four-ways-your-perception-of-others-can-ruin-your-life/