You've Got To Stop Living In The Place Of Fear And Doubt

Be Careful What You Give Your Attention To

Fear and doubt are like uninvited guests, who show up for the night and overstay their welcome. They have nothing to impart other than a distorted reality. We fear what we don't understand and then doubt ourselves. This steals away the preciousness of the present moment because we succumb to a fictitious reality. Have you experienced something like this, whereby fear and doubt convinced you of something that wasn't true? You wouldn't be wrong in succumbing to this scenario because they collaborate to pull us into a pit of despair.

But it needn't be this way, since we can choose to see things differently. For example, when the Coronavirus pandemic started, there was a lot of fear and negativity perpetuated by the mainstream media. They hijack our attention by reporting bits and pieces of the actual story. I immediately turned my attention to the health professionals, such as infectious disease experts, epidemiologists, virologists and senior health experts. As time went on, I was reassured that what the media was depicting was not reality but a false narrative to sell a story. I'm not suggesting the virus is anything to ignore, but we must be careful what we give our attention to because it may not be serving our best interests.

Think about the areas of your life where fear and doubt have gained a foothold? Perhaps it is your relationships, finances, career, your dreams and highest ambitions? If I asked you to journal the narrative fear and doubt promote, what would you write? Is it lack of choice? Self worthiness or self-esteem? It's important we understand what we're up against, so we can deal with it effectively. To overcome fear and doubt, we must first understand how they operate in our life. They try to undermine us, like a virus weaving its way through our thoughts. Either way, we must confront our limiting beliefs and analyse them for what they are; an unrealistic plan to sabotage us.

We've Got To Show Up Fully For Our Dreams

Fear and doubt offer nothing in return, other than to steal our joy and happiness. In contrast, confidence and encouragement are allies that work together to support our goals. We ought to sow the seeds of these virtues in our psyche and extract fear and doubt from our minds. Fear is the enemy of confidence because it tries to convince us of an unfavourable future. However, confidence moves towards tomorrow armed with conviction to achieve excellence. This doesn't mean we must eradicate fear from our lives but acknowledge it for what it is. As the self-help author Susan Jeffers once wrote: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.

That is, we walk towards our fears and take inspired action, regardless. Because every time we overcome fear, we silence our doubts and lay to rest the hijackers of tomorrow. Fear and doubt will try to steal our best laid plans. But it is not enough to ignore them, we must face them directly and change the narrative they promote. Consider this in your own life. What have you overcome in recent times that fear and doubt tried to sell you? Perhaps it was entering a new relationship, starting your own business, or leaving a lucrative career? Sometimes fear and doubt can show up as an unwanted gift, presented by those we love. Family and friends will convince us not to change careers or get intimately involved with that person because they are no good for us.

But this is like asking those who've never been where you're going for directions. You assume because they are wiser, they hold the answers, but they may not be the answers for you. So, question everything and test it for yourself, to see whether it will work for you. It is better to make a hundred mistakes on your own, than live inauthentically based on other people's opinions. We've got to show up for our dreams and command them fully, irrespective of what others think. It requires moving through our fears and doubts, which accompanying us on this journey of life. Because when we reach our ultimate destination, we will have overcome these mountainous hurdles through hard work and perseverance.

Knowing this, I invite you to make time to examine areas of your life where fear and doubt have infiltrated. What is the message they're trying to sell you? Is it real? Can you be sure that fear and doubt is real? What do you want for your life? Write down two columns and examine your fears and doubts on one side and your vision and purpose on the other. After you've explored each area, sit with your feelings and note which area you are leaning towards? Do you want to be an 80-year-old who was allowed their fears and doubts to overcome them, or do you want to be an 80-year-old who has lived the best version of their life? Either way, you get to decide the storyline for your life, so make it a remarkable one!

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You Need To Retrain Your Mind To Fulfill Your Dreams And Ambitions

The majority of people are unaware that they are sometimes controlled by internal beliefs and thought patterns that were long-ago established as an effective way to live one's life. However, in current day circumstances they sabotage achieving goals.

The fact is, all of us possess self-sabotaging elements that can manifest at any time and in a variety of ways. This not-so-silent enemy within usually remains in stealth mode despite its repeated pattern of interference with our own self-declared desires.

However, I hasten to add that long before you were fully aware of life's vicissitudes, you were indoctrinated and conditioned to believe and act in certain ways.

Self-destructive patterns are best described as "Behavior that creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.' The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with illegal drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, comfort eating-resulting in weight gain, self-injury and lack of self-confidence. While these acts might seem helpful in the moment, you ultimately undermine your Self, especially when you engage in them repeatedly."

What prompts people to continue these 'click-whirl' internal self-sabotaging behaviors that betrays ones best intentions? The psychological construct is the result of a defense strategy for many experiences that engendered feelings that weren't processed. These experiences can be as simple as something that prompted a feeling of rejection, a feeling of being unworthy, unimportant, and the list goes on. For example, a person who has difficulty smiling or laughing is considered stoic. While being stoic in some circumstances is a virtue, it is also a determent to ones social life. People who are socially stoic are often perceived to be a bore with no sense of humor.

What are these 'click-whirl' internal self-destructive mechanisms that betray our best intentions? Technically, most of them arise as a result of a defense strategy. They can be as simple as something we do to avoid rejection that is the result of an embarrassing childhood experience. For example, a man who simply didn't laugh. Indeed, Sam (not his real name) was unable to even fully smile. His wife and friends thought of him as stoic and that was fine with Sam until he discovered that he was often not invited to events because of his lack of humor. When he made inquiries regarding this, Sam discovered that others found him to be a bore who could wilt the humor in any party. Sam was crushed to learn his inability to be jovial or laugh was costing him and his wife social enjoyment.

Sam decided to discover what prompted him to behave this way. Searching the Internet he found my website. Together we began the journey to discover the emotional/mental wounds that prompted him to be stoic without smiling or laughing.

Sam discovered a childhood event that led to his inability to relax and laugh. He related to the humor in many things, but he withheld his expression because when he was young other children had mocked him for the way he laughed, and for his "crooked" smile.

Sam did not consciously tell himself something such as, "Build a defense mechanism that prevents me from being ridiculed in the future because of my laugh." Albeit, that's what his unconscious mind managed for him. It is, after all, the job of a healthy unconscious mind to protect us. Thus, Sam's automatic mechanism, with 'click-whirl' precision, simply arrested his expression of humor to protect him from ridicule. And this unconscious automatic mechanism remained in place until Sam made his discovery, and accepted a set of new thoughts to prompt, smiling, laughing humorous responses.

This is a simple example of how a defense mechanism that worked then is sabotaging life now. However, there are also very compound and complex mechanisms that can arise for many reasons including compensation.

It is a human trait, as the herd animals that many people are, to seek acceptance and avoid rejection. It is also a human trait to compete for attention or in the alternative, to adopt low to non-competitive strategies as a pattern of avoidance. For some, both of these patterns can be operational and activated at different times under different circumstances.

The bottom line is, many people have unknown self-sabotaging mechanisms of some sort that raises its ugly head from time to time, and that is why certain goals can remain unattainable despite one's best efforts.

Eliminating self-sabotage is a primary step in getting your house (life) in order. In at least one sense, ending self-destructive patterns is the weeding out of ideas and behaviors that prevent you from achieving all that you are otherwise capable of enjoying. As such, the path to success requires the elimination of self-destructive behavior patterns, and the best tool to assist you in this process is discovering your InnerTalk: Eliminating Self-Sabotage.

Recognize Patterns:

The objective of the path to ending self-sabotage begins by recognizing that you possess this potential. By pursuing its possibilities, you begin to recognize patterns of behavior that have common antecedents. Diligently attending to your thoughts often reveals inner beliefs, biases, and the like that you do not wish to continue to own. Strengthening your resolve for deliberation you gain more control over self-regulation. Each time you are successful at halting an automatic mechanism pattern, you begin to eliminate the pattern and thereby end the habit.

A New Year has historically prompted people to decide to make changes. Thus, the practice of deciding to make changes at the beginning of a New Year became known as New Year's Resolutions.

Unfortunately and typically the majority of people fail to complete their resolutions. The University of Scranton research suggests that approximately 8% of people achieve their New Year's resolutions. Some studies reveal that more than 40% of Americans-make New Year's resolutions. (For comparison, about one-third of Americans watch the Super Bowl.)

When you intend to be successful changing your life, then remember this:

In order to fulfill your dreams and ambitions, you need to take the time to retrain your mind. Your mind was properly trained to do what you are doing now. You need to discover what drives your self-sabotage and bring in the support you need to develop a strategy and implement the change to create your success.

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein

"What were you thinking?" has become a well-worn cliché. However, it has merit, because we function from our beliefs (thinking). Therefore, our beliefs need to be accessed at the unconscious level and replaced with beliefs that will propel successful endeavors.*

This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life. You can harness your unconscious mind to create what many people call magic!

Are you willing to take the steps required to claim your happiness, success, fulfillment, and financial freedom? Will you take advantage of the opportunity to create a new reality for your life?

It's time to SHIFT and get prepared for what's coming up for your life... so I want you to put your heart and soul into paying close attention to how much mental, emotional and physical pain you are in. Then, step by step you can make the SHIFT gently, easily, and without having to deal with the mental and emotional pain and stress of not knowing what to do, not feeling your best, and all the other OLD WAYS that are holding you back.

You might need to ask for assistance to clear out the self-doubt, fear, guilt, shame or unworthiness-i.e. the beliefs that sabotage your success.

Here's to living your dream life NOW.

There is no shame in asking for assistance to create happiness and success. If you have read the books, taken workshops, had psychic readings, taken Prescriptions and OTC drugs etc. and still struggle; you might have emotional blocks preventing you from moving into your happiness and desires.

This is an investment in your health, happiness, success, fulfillment, and financial freedom. Following the principles in this process will change your life forever and I want you to experience it yourself as soon as possible.

Remember only you can take care of your happiness and emotional, physical and spiritual health.

https://ezinearticles.com/?You-Need-To-Retrain-Your-Mind-To-Fulfill-Your-Dreams-And-Ambitions&id=9632403

Message From the Universe: Be Ready to Shine Like a Star

"Here are 3 sure-fire steps that will take you from wishing upon a star to being one:

Imagine your dreams as if they already exist.

Speak as if they already exist.

And act as if they already exist.

And before long, you'll be hearing pretty much the same thing from virtually all of your old friends, "Wow, I dig your independence, wealth, health and happiness! How did that happen so fast? You have to write a book! Must be nice... "

I know friends, 

The Universe"

There are not many who are ready to venture into the unknown. It requires someone with guts, with no fear of failure, a risk taker, a go-getter. We all have ambitions but many are afraid to take actions and bring their dreams to reality. In return, we become complacent with our lives and think it is the best we can do. Many listen to the nay-sayers, the people that tell you it is IMPOSSIBLE to do what you are thinking, to not waste your time, to not bother because of the elements of risk. They want you to abandon your dreams, your goals because they are to afraid of your success. They do not want to open the Fortune 500 magazine and see your face on the front page, that might destroy their ego. So what is the best solution? Keep your mouth SHUT and don't say a word about your dreams and avoid looking for acknowledgement with anything you do because IT WON'T HAPPEN. On the contrary, you will have people trying to put stick in your wheels so you do not move forward. What is the point to disclose anything until IT HAPPENS. Let them see AFTER the fact that you have reached the summit. Just look at it this way: Do you think the Great White Shark sends a memo to the seal that he will come and attack from below and to WATCH OUT? No, he just DOES it. Do not give ammunition for them to work against you. Just go with your feelings and move forward no matter what.

These same nay-sayers, who would have stopped you in your track will suddenly become your best friends AFTER you have reached fortune and glory. These same nay-sayers will wonder how you did it, and some would ask you why didn't you share your dreams with them, they would tell you: "I could have helped you and put you in contact with him or her to make things happen". Guess what? YOU made it happen with NO ONES help. Be proud, feel accomplished and be smart with your new found money. As the Great White sharks attacks his prey, these same nay-sayers will do the same with you. You should definitely help people in NEED, but NOT the ones who NEED you now because of your fortune and glory.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Be-Ready-to-Shine-Like-a-Star&id=9622929

Message From the Universe: Believe in What Doesn't Exist, YET

"Straight from the fabled Akashic Records:

Time and Space is where you chase things you pretend you don't have - love, friends, and abundance - while worrying about things you pretend you do have - problems, challenges, and issues. Until one day, you happen to notice the prophetic powers of pretending.

In case that helps any.

Tallyho,

The Universe"

It is said that " It is Not a lie if you believe it". Obviously, that can be concerning for most, but this statement is real or factual for events that YOU personally believe it happen, even though it didn't. If you start believing in things that you personally think it is true, is it really a lie per your standards? You can really say anything you want but your belief is what really matters. If you truly believe in something, or if you pretend it already happened, is that considered as a lie or just your ambitions? If you claim that you invented the cure of cancer and you know you are about to make it happen, how can that be perceived by the scientific community? Is it safe to move forward and state that fact publicly without having any significant proof to back up your claim? It might not be the greatest idea until it is certain that all samples tested have come out positive with your cure. Belief is a personal thing, make sure to keep it as such. However, what helps is pretending that this belief is occurring in your life, as we speak.

I heard of an example in the past that will demonstrate what I am trying to convey. A woman was complaining to her therapist that she wasn't able to meet any man. She tried online dating, face to face meetings, blind dates, professional dating agency and nothing worked. The reason wasn't because of any physical abnormalities, but because of her attitude and her belief. Let me explain. When the therapist visited her home, she noticed in her two car garage that she was parking her car in the middle of the garage, instead of either right or left. In her bedroom, she was occupying 99% of the closet even though, if well organized, her clothes can occupy one side of the closet. The therapist asked her what side of the bed does she sleeps in, she answered: "I prefer the middle, because there is no one there anyway, so why occupy only one side". This is where it all clicked. The woman didn't leave space in her mind to accept someone coming into her life. She eliminated the possibility of this happening because of her belief that it will NOT happen, hence, acting as she is alone and no need to allow space in her life for anyone. The Therapist suggested to do something interesting. First, she needed to start parking her car on one side of the garage, not in the middle. Her closet had to be reorganized so if anyone do come into her life, she will have designated space for his clothes. She had to start focusing on sleeping on one side of the bed, even if the other side is left empty. She had to pretend someone was there even though her dream man didn't exist yet. After a few months of changing her attitude, her life changed when she met the man of her dream at a place she regularly attended but never was mentally free of allowing someone to come into her life. Her perception changed, hence, her life followed. By believing in yourself and pretending it has already happen, the Universe will work in your advantage and will make things happen the way you predicted. Try it, it will work!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Believe-in-What-Doesnt-Exist,-YET&id=9623796

Forget About Forgetting Your Insecurity - Here's What to Do Instead

Deep down, we'd all like to be able to simply forget - or delete - our insecurity.

Some people will claim that we're better off having insecurity. Because it's a natural, human trait that keeps us grounded and in touch with our humility.

But when someone with certain ambitions also has low confidence... They just want to find that insecurity and simply press 'delete'.

I know you're out there, and I totally hear you.

However, here's why we need to go about it a different way... :

Obviously there's the fact that doing away with a considerable part of our mindset tends to be a time- and ressource-demanding process.

But there's also the fact that when we want to get rid of something, first we need to accept it.

Those of you who struggle with stress and panic anxiety will know this. The more we fight it, the worse it tends to get. It doesn't start to go away until we calmly and openly acknowledge and accept that it's there.

It's like that for all imaginable problems, really.

Hell, just imagine trying to walk on a broken leg because you won't accept that it's broken. Not exactly clever, yeah?

When we accept something, we grow a little. I'm all about personal growth, and this case is no exception.

Because, just like with stress and anxiety, when we embrace insecurity, its influence lessens because we allow ourselves to contain it.

When we're big enough, we can contain anything. Including the things that have been opposing us. And if we simply absorb our obstacles, they're no longer in our way.

Pretty cool philosophy, right?

Furthermore, if you've ever been insecure, you'll always remember that feeling no matter how hard you try to forget it. So really, it's no use. But the root of the matter is, it's not about forgetting; it's about learning to ignore it at the right moments.

And yes, I specifically use the word 'ignore' here. Some might think me self-contradictory for talking about embracing insecurity first and then simply ignore it. But really, this is how confident people do it.

Given the right set of circumstances, anyone can feel insecure about something. This is basic, primal neural functions at work. We're hardwired to look for trouble. But that doesn't mean there's really anything to be insecure about. So we need to learn to distinguish between real and perceived threats. Then, we'll be able to tell our insecurity to calm down when it's not useful.

Which, in fact, it rarely is.

Now, apart from acknowledging your insecurity, there are several things you can do that will naturally diminish it.

If done right, meditation helps. Also, exercise is always a good thing. Eating healthy and getting enough sleep should go without saying. (And then, of course, there's confidence coaching, which I most heartily recommend!)

Different things work for different people. But however you live your life, always remember this:

Everyone feels insecurity. Even confident people. It's what we DO about it that shows our real character.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Forget-About-Forgetting-Your-Insecurity---Heres-What-to-Do-Instead&id=9733275

Ways to Successfully Waste Your Time

More often than not, hobbies are categorized as something completely different from real life career goals and ambitions. The strict programming of our brains does not let us accept the fact that hobbies and what we love can be converted to full time jobs. People who are creative, usually face these challenges. The inner creative guy tells them to make more out of their passions and hobbies while an artificially instilled practical guy inside them makes them realize their mistake (read accomplishment).

Wasting time is a common phrase used by people very often. Now, what looks like an effort to screw up everything is actually one of the first few steps to something really big. Just like every coin, this has two sides, it is important for you to understand that you are no less than a person who has earned accolades in academics and has a high paying job. Your wasting of time can earn you more accomplishments and not to say, money than the one doing with his regular corporate job.

If you find yourself in the middle of a chaos inside your brain, if you find yourself battling with yourself to find a job and do it even if you don't want to, you are very well aware where are you going to crash in the near future. Identify the one thing that you love doing and run behind it like crazy. Turn into a maniac and prove your mettle, show everyone around that wasting time can be fruitful.

Students often commit suicides under the load of their books and high competition exams. The working class is no less than anyone else in today's competitive scenario and thus the number of suicides owing to work pressure are no alien to our society. It's time we changed our attitude and started following our hearts. There is already a lot of tension in the world, all we need now is satisfaction.

In the following few scribbles, we talk about some of the hobbies often identified as just hobbies but can be turned into successful professions.

1) Writing

A lot of people find refuge in writing. Sitting down with a pen and paper and just expressing the deepest of their desires, thoughts and what not, makes them feel and understand everything around them differently. While you are doing this just for your sake, make it bigger by publishing your articles on different platforms. Start a blog and let people read what you are expressing. You never know when the one person looking for somebody just like you might read what you've written and take you higher in your writing journey.

2) Talking

You read it right, talking. There are a number of people who love talking and can go on for hours. Even with strangers, some people can strike a conversation and turn into something real. For people like these ones, the career options are endless. A number of jobs require people to take surveys, do stage shows, anchor on different platforms. Also, if you are not interested in working for anyone else, you can start video blogging on various social platforms like YouTube. There are numerous vloggers who have actually made it big, only with the help of YouTube.

3) Travel

If travel is your thing and you can't stop yourself from packing your bags every now and then, you can opt for a very interesting career option. Try becoming a part time guide. Different platforms and trip organizers are always in search of people who have visited various tourist destinations and are aware about all the attractions there. This fulfills their purpose of a well educated travel guide and you get to earn while you travel.

4) The Chandler Bing Syndrome

Wondering what is it? This is what I like to call the people suffering from sarcasm. If you find yourself scooping humor out of every situation, you really have a bright future. Stand up comics are in demand more than ever and people would definitely pay good amounts of money just to have a good laugh. Make the most of this opportunity, hit the local bars and clubs with your sarcastic quotient and let them fall down from their chairs.

5) Painting

If paintbrushes are your thing, start showing those canvas paintings to people at exhibitions and events. Its time you start getting paid for all your hard work. Modern art is something which a lot of people admire. Looking at life from someone else's perspective amuses people and you can easily earn a fortune out of it.

6) Music

An art form that has been attracting people more than anything has given the world some amazing maestros to cherish. If music is the place you want to be and it is the only thing you can think about, you can start from the local clubs and bars around you and this eventually will open many doors. A musician is given all due respect by most of the people now and the society has started embracing them with utmost willingness.

The only thing that makes sense is, if doing something pleases you, try and make a career out of it. The only important thing is to waste time, and to waste it in only in terms and perspectives of the society. While everyone is thinking you are wasting your time, it is only you who knows the real worth of what you are doing.

Although the article does not cover all the areas in which you might be interested, the only thought behind writing this article is to inspire you to keep doing the things you love and make a living out of it. What society thinks and what people say will only be mere words in the future and these very people will respect you for your achievements. It is only a matter of time. Be true to your real identity and you will soon be identified with the very thing forever.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Ways-to-Successfully-Waste-Your-Time&id=9432100

Who Are You and Who Do You Want to Become?

Have you ever looked at yourself closely in the mirror and asked yourself who are you? It is a very self levelling activity and might surprise you when you get the answer.

Who are you is an open question. It demands more than one word answers so what will you say? 

A client of mine once answered that she was a wife, a Mother, a daughter, a niece, Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, a magician and mind reader - and a few others besides and she was right. Most of us have many facets. But does it really answer the question, or are we just attaching labels to ourselves?

Look inside and ask who are you. 

To give a real insight into who we are we need to look deep within ourselves. We need to explore our reactions to situations. We need to understand why we react in that way, what was the determining factor or where did we learn that behaviour. We also need to evaluate our values as a person. What do we believe, why do we believe that and where does that belief originate?

Who we are is a mixture of all those things. We are complicated and complex. We are individual yet similar. We are unique yet still have traits and characteristics that are the same as other people. What distinguishes us from each other. What makes us like or not like anyone else?

Most of us spend our waking moments thinking either about the future, what it might hold and what we want to do and become, or about the past, how it has affected us and what might have been if only...

However much we might like it, the past cannot be re-lived and the future is impossible to experience. All we have is the present and to be able to lead happy and fulfilled lives we need to know and understand exactly who we are.

In my work, I find that coaching people on how to answer this question fully leads to my own life being examined. I have done it now many times but I still find something new about myself each time. I have discovered what I am good at and what I should probably not try again. I know for sure what I like, what I don't like and what I want to achieve.

Focus on yourself - you have permission 

The first time this happened I felt a little guilty as it was the client who I was focussing on and my actions seemed self-indulgent. I now realise that I am a far better coach because I did do it, and furthermore continue to do it.

Some clients also feel a little awkward the first time they take part in this exercise. Many of us were taught as children that this sort of self indulgent activity was sinful or selfish. We should be concentrating on others not ourselves.

We are taught that we need to strive to become better people, to be more and do more in order that we may have more. Although there is nothing wrong with having dreams or ambitions, more often than not these have been borne out of a feeling that we are not good enough to begin with.

Not having a good understanding of who we are, or being confident about ourselves and abilities leads to problems in later life. Success and ability is judged in our society, not by ourselves, but by others. Parents, teachers, lecturers and bosses will all have given their opinions on your capabilities. It is difficult not to internalise these comments and make them reality.

Who do you want to become? 

We are pre-programmed as a species to "fit in" or be accepted. This need can lead to behaviours such as passive people pleasing to the other extreme, becoming manipulative or abusive. Knowing yourself is no sin, and it certainly is not selfish. It should be encouraged as a platform for personal growth and a way of becoming a more selfless individual.

The consequence of not finding out who you are will likely be that you will stay the same person as you are now. This is a good thing if you are truly happy with yourself. If you are not happy though, you will never get to be who you want to become.

So, I have a little question that you might like to spend some quality time reflecting on today:

Just who are you?

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John Addison: Going Through a life Change? Why You Have to Follow Your Heart

When I took my first job after college, my goals and ambitions were pretty small. Words like executive, and CEO weren’t even in my wheelhouse. I just wanted to make enough money to be able to cover my part of the rent on the small apartment I shared with a couple of buddies and have enough left over for the weekend. A company called Life of Georgia had a position that met those needs. It was a job I hated and wasn’t very good at. Why they kept me on and moved me into a management trainee program is beyond me, but I’m grateful they did because it started a chain of events that changed the course of my life forever.

I worked at Life of Georgia for two years before I decided it was time to make a change. It was partly because I’d already made one huge change—I’d married the bright, talented young woman they hired to replace me when I moved into the management trainee program. I’d also decided to pursue my MBA and needed to have a job closer to mine and Loveanne’s apartment to make getting to Georgia State University after work easier. So I answered an ad for a business analyst at an insurance company called A.L. Williams that was about 10 minutes from our apartment. I was hired and the rest, as they say, was history. That company was later renamed Primerica, the place I spent the rest of my career.

But my story could’ve ended much differently. When I gave my notice at Life of Georgia, I was called into the office of my former boss, who was also a senior vice president of the company. His name was Gerald Padgett and he was not too impressed with my decision to go to work at A.L. Williams. Actually, his exact words were, “John, you’re a bright young man, but you’re making a dumb mistake.” I had a bright future with Life of Georgia, but, according to him, I was throwing it all away with a fly-by-night company that would probably barely last longer than the inspection sticker on my car. Here was this man who was much older than me with a lot more experience essentially telling me I was headed down a path to ruin. That is a lot for a 20-something-year-old newlywed to take in. If I’d called my new employer and told them I’d changed my mind and stayed on with the company I knew would be there for the long haul and would provide me with the income to support my wife and our future babies, no one would’ve blamed me.

Of course, I would’ve never been co-CEO of a major company. I would’ve never helped create one of the most successful IPOs in the history of the financial industry. And I would’ve never had a platform to motivate and inspire people all around the world. Basically, I wouldn’t have become the man I am today and I sure wouldn’t have been happy.

Change is an inevitable part of life. It’s part of growing and (ideally) getting better. And it’s almost never easy—even the really good changes, like marrying the love of your life or moving on to a better job. It’s human nature to wonder if you’re doing the right thing and to second guess yourself to a degree, especially when other people aren’t exactly supportive. If you aren’t equipped with the right tools to handle the situation, this stuff can derail your plans and cause you to miss out on great, life changing opportunities. 

There isn’t a single thing in this whole life that is 100 percent certain other than death and taxes. Neither of those is too pleasant—nor is stagnating in place because you let fear, what-ifs and the negativity of others hold you back. You never know how making a big life change will turn out, but you’ll never find out if you don’t go for it. If you want to be successful and thrive, keep moving forward—even when you feel like you’re moving forward alone. It’s not going to be easy and it’ll definitely be a little scary. Do you think I left my secure job at Life of Georgia and moved on to A.L Williams without being scared out of my mind? I had no idea what I was getting into and it took me a few years to really grasp what it was all about. But it was absolutely worth it, and had I not made the change, I would’ve spent the rest of my life regretting it.

Make a pact to yourself the very minute you decide to make a life change that you will follow your heart and not the words of others just to please them. You will never be able to please all the people in your life and if you pass up opportunities or adventures trying to, you will live a life of regret. I’m not saying to write anyone off or be hateful to them for expressing their concerns. I’m just saying to let them have their say—and then do what you know is best for you.

Life moves on the smallest of decisions. So does destiny. Every change you make in your life, big or small, is creating your destiny. It’s shaping your story. Let your story be about the hero who was willing to make a change, even when it seemed crazy and he didn’t have much support and not about the guy who let fear stop him and lived a life of regret, wondering what his life could’ve been like.

http://www.success.com/blog/john-addison-going-through-a-life-change-why-you-have-to-follow-your-heart