The Toxic People In Your Life

Many people with negative emotional habits are the same as the people who impact your life in a bad way. You just have to mix and match these, but the effects are the same: the reinforcing of all of your worst emotional habits as well which, is a bad place to be in.

To avoid dealing with such people that drag you down - or at least to reduce the interaction with them to a minimum - you must learn to identify the 4 types of toxic people in your life and then decide to put distance between them and you. It needn't be a complete and total exclusion of them from your life, you just need to allow yourself some distance so their negativity won't affect you.

Many times this simple solution works wonders in destressing and decluttering your mind and life as a little distance can go a long way. Basically, they are still in your life. You still talk to them from time to time, but they're not so close and so dear that they end up dragging you down. At the very least, you're not so connected to them that you are stuck in this downward emotional spiral.

This being said, let's now take a look at the 4 types of personalities that are most likely draging you down as we speak and keep you from achieving greatness in your life.

Toxic Personality Type #1: The Black Hole

This person has deep and profound emotional needs. They're very needy people. You can't tell by their appearance, though. Some look very successful. Some are very attractive. However, when they open their mouths to somebody they're confident in, it's all about them. It's all about how they have lost out, what they need, how everything in life is against them, and so on.

It's as if no matter what you do, or how much you support them it's simply not enough. Even if you keep on giving and supporting it's still not enough because that's how needy they are. They are black holes. All they know and all they seem to be capable of is sucking in positive energy.

So, do yourself a favor and stay away from black holes. I'm not saying you should cut them out, but don't get so near. Learn when to say no. After all, we all have one life to live and it's not worth sacrificing it for people who don't care about theirs to begin with.

Toxic Personality Type #2: The Judge

Do you have a friend or an acquaintance who's constantly putting everybody and anything and any situation into neat, tidy, little boxes? This might not seem all that negative at first. However, this habit of theirs can be quite bad because life is not black and white.

When such people see you they might say "you're a loser" or, on the contrary, they might go "oh, you're a winner." No matter what type of label these people put on you many times it's easy to be influenced by their labeling.

For some people it's tempting to think that they're losers (or winners) when they come across this sort of judgment.

But what if I told you that both these labels are equally toxic? Why, you might ask...

Well, it's because people are people. We change all the time. We have different dimensions. We have different aspects. There are so many sides to us and to reduce somebody to a one-word description really strips them of their complexity (ie. humanity).

If you say to a friend that she's ugly or she's stupid, you reduce that person's being to just one attribute. Maybe they're just behaving stupidly in that one moment of their life, but for the rest of their life they're acting like complete and total geniuses. So, does it make sense then to dismiss them as idiots?

And the same applies to physical appearances or income mobility or the ability to increase one's net worth.

Unfortunately, none of this nuance matters to the judge. This person derives a tremendous amount of comfort in making his or her world as black and white as possible. Everything is extreme. Either somebody is a loser or somebody is a winner. There's no in-between. There's no middle.

Stay away from these people, as well. Again, you don't necessarily have to stop being friends with them, but achieve some sort of distance because, sooner or later, you start adopting that black-and-white mindset, and this is a very corrosive mindset to live your life by. The world really is not black, or white. And it's not gray either. It has many colors, figuratively speaking. It's so rich, so vibrant and so beautiful that you just can't see it as black or white.

Toxic Personality Type #3: The Stylish Hoarder

The style hoarder is a person who looks at different people's lives and tries to find trends or styles that they can collect. When you talk to this person, they're not really interested in the real you. They couldn't care less about your hopes, dreams, fears, aspirations, insecurities. None of that matters. Instead, they look at what you are doing. They're obsessed with all sorts of trends. These can be technological trends, fashion trends or any other trends really. Regardless, it's stuff that other people are doing.

They then use this as some sort of grid when they're judging you, and they say, "Ah, this person, does he think this way? Does he share in that trend? Does she have this fashion sense that is kind of trendy?"

That's their value to you. You basically vindicate their judgments regarding tends because they're extracting a large sense of their self-worth and ego from that. They feel good about being able to spot these trends. They feel good about being part of the right crowd or people who think the right ideas.

However, these people are usually very shallow. They collect. They grasp. Conversely, the motivation is very shallow. It's really all about making themselves feel good, feel substantial and feel worthy. Unfortunately, this is all at the surface level. They don't really have the core conviction, or the substance of the trends that they are so obsessed about. And when you hang out with these people, you become superficial as well. You start slicing and dicing people based on where they are in terms of politics, cultural sensitivity, ideology, personal style.

Fortunately, human beings are greater than the sum of their parts. You can take one person and strip that person to different layers, but guess what! When you put all those layers together, they don't add up to that person. Something's missing.

Maybe we can call this the soul. Perhaps we can call this the essence of that person. Regardless, the truth is that you can't just strip people based on these trends and reassemble them into a complete person. You missed the point. You missed the person.

That's how the stylish hoarders think. That's how they look at the world. They see it as layer after layer of stuff that they can reconfigure, recombine, and slice and dice, mix and match.

If you hang around these people long enough, you become like them. Unfortunately, that kind of thinking falls flat when it comes to reality because, ultimately, people are not like that. We're worth more than the sum of our parts. We're not just thin, superficial layers.

Toxic Personality Type #4: The Troll

Trolls are annoying and you probably know this already. However, the problem is that they're not always obvious. In fact, one of the most common forms of trolling involves flattery.

There are people who think 180 degrees opposite of whatever view or opinion you've stated. They couldn't disagree with you more, but you cannot tell based on their response. It seems like they're supporting you. It might even come off like they are egging you on. However, what they're really doing is trolling you because they don't agree. Whatever opinion you shared doesn't line up with what they actually think and believe.

So why are they doing it then?

For the laughs. They get a (sick I might add) sense of satisfaction in being complete and total liars. But the problem is that trolls eventually reprogram themselves, and that wouldn't be bad had humans not been designed to influence each other mentally and unconsciously. But they have been designed like that, and this is one of the reasons why being around trolls is never recommended.

It's not uncommon for a troll to get such a kick out of getting people to agree with things that they themselves hate because this makes them hate the person or ridicule the person in their minds. Eventually, they get so trapped in their decision that they no longer know what the truth is.

The whole point of their game is just to get a rise or a reaction from people. They're not really invested in whether things are right or wrong, or whether things are proper or unjust and unfair. Instead, it's just the emotional rush that they are getting.

"This person is agreeing with me, he's a complete and total idiot and bigot. I gotcha!" This is how a troll thinks. And they might seem harmless, but who do you think pays the bigger price? The person who is honest with his, or her opinion - as unpopular or unpalatable as it may be, or the one who egged him on?

If you engage in this behavior, you are really trading in your soul, and by soul I'm not talking about some quasi-mystical component of your life. I'm talking about your integrity. You're lying basically. The worst part to all of this is that the lie eventually seeps in and becomes you. It becomes part of you. You reach a point where you don't even know which side is up.

That's how confused trolls are. They become some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. It all boils down to feeding insecurities because they are very insecure at some level or another. That's why they get a kick out of getting people to say stuff that they hate, or say stuff that they deep down inside want to say but can't. Thanks to their behavior, encouragement and underhanded tactics, they get people to voice out stuff that they wish they could say or stuff that they hate.

And just like with the previous 3 types of people, hanging out with trolls brings out the worst in you, as well. Moreover, you end up being friends to somebody who doesn't appreciate you for who you are. And if you're not careful sooner or later you end up becoming like them.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Toxic-People-In-Your-Life&id=10297432

Message From the Universe: There Is ONLY One Life to LIVE, So LIVE It Well!

"Do you have any idea of how many fans you have here in the unseen?

Students from far and wide. Admirers from near and far. Friends from other lands and other times. And do you know what they talk about the most when your name comes up?

Besides your French Toast?

Besides your saunter?

Besides your home here with the holiday lights you leave up year-round, the roaming wildebeests in the backyard, and the answering machine that says, "Off having the time of my life in the jungles of time and space... "

Your belief in the goodness of others.

10,000 Kisses, 

The Universe"

There is only one life to live, so live it well. Despite the daily pressures of responsibilities, such as bills, maintaining a household, working on a new business, kids, and so much, we all, somewhat find a way to make all this happen. Imagine standing on top of a cliff, located above the clouds, and when looking down, you see emptiness. On your back, you have a parachute, but this parachute stayed in the backpack since its inception. You have no clue if it will open when you jump but you need to sometimes take that leap of faith and just go for it. I can't guarantee anything about how the descent will go, but life will always catch you by surprise. Situations that are out of your control will come and hit you in the face like a ton of bricks but it will be up to you to accept and find ways to work around them. You need to always stay calm and collected and realize that not everything can go your way. Some illnesses can hit you hard and keep you ill for a long while which are situations you can't really control. This is what life is all about. So when you are on top of that cliff, and you do decide to jump, you will be just among the few who will do that, and if you look back as you free wall to the abyss, you will see many staying up there, scared out of their mind, and just wanting to live this uneventful life and not having faith that their parachute HAS to open. So as you go plummeting down to Earth, you will question yourself as to the reason why you took that jump. Even though you are travelling at 250 miles per hour, it will feel like you are floating, as gravity is pulling you up and not down. The feeling will be odd because you will be at peace. Will this feeling allow you to accept the imminent danger of hitting the ground without the parachute to open? Possibly, but the reality is that it will OPEN because this is what you were meant to do. Your attitude about life is what will propel you to achieving greatness, to be one of the few where people from the top of the cliff will admire as to where did you get the guts to do what you did. They will envy you because of your courage, your determination and your desire to be different.

Not many have these skills or adventure type mentality. IS jumping off the cliff with no guarantee if the parachute will open might be construed as being suicidal, yes, in some instances. However, the truth of the matter is that believing in yourself and knowing that regardless of what is waiting for you on the ground will just help you know yourself better and working towards your goals. You want to succeed in business? You need to be bold and taking risks. Staying up there will never allow you to experience the hurdles to eventually appreciate all the efforts you put to succeed. The pain may be unbearable, and you will see a huge lack of support from your loved ones during your journey to success, but by keeping yourself motivated and determined to go where just a few people have ever dared going will make you someone that everyone will dream in becoming, but never ready to sacrifice anything for the sake of greatness. In your journey, you will feel all alone, in isolation at times. You will have just a few spurts of breathing room and then will have to dunk your head under water again. You will have to do that over and over again. It will feel like you are running out of air but with the presence of unknown power, you will be pulled up so you can breath again, just for a few moments, and the cycle will repeat over and over again, until the time comes where a massive 200 feet boat will fish you out and apologize for the incident of dropping you in the water. You will be given a towel to dry up and when on board, you will realize that the ship has YOUR NAME ON IT. Congrats, you made it in the big league.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-There-Is-ONLY-One-Life-to-LIVE,-So-LIVE-It-Well!&id=9469631

Five Scientifically Proven Ways To Unleash Your Limitless Potential

Do you feel trapped in your life by circumstance? Limited and confined?

You're not alone, but you have lurking within you, everything you need to be anything you want. To do that... to get there, all that's necessary is to tap into the wellspring of potential you didn't know you had.

Before you can do that, however, it's important to understand what potential actually is. You'll read a lot of different definitions, but it's best understood as the synthesis of creativity and industriousness. Having one without the other will only get you so far. You need both if you're going to reshape the arc of your life.

Fortunately, there are a variety of proven ways you can ignite your potential. Here are the biggest and best ones:

1) Minimize - No, this doesn't mean that you have to sell all your worldly possessions and live in a yurt in the middle of a field, but it does mean that you should take a serious look at your world and your immediate surroundings and clear out as much clutter as you can.

Start by tidying up your work space, but take it as far as you're comfortable with. When I did this, I wound up embracing the concept of minimalism, by literally packing up everything I owned in boxes, and only unpacking the stuff I needed. After thirty days, anything that was still in the boxes (except for mementos), I sold at a big yard sale. Obviously, you don't have to take it quite to that extreme, but the more you can de-clutter, the faster you'll see meaningful progress.

Why This Works: This is effective for the simple reason that "stuff"= the potential for distraction, and achieving big goals requires focus.

2) Lists Are Your Friend - A shocking percentage of people don't actually know what they want out of life. Spend some time thinking about that. Make a list. Sketch out your future in broad terms, and don't worry about how impossible the goals seem. Pure "Blue-Sky" thinking here.

Why This Works: Visualization is an important part of achieving greatness, and making a list... actually writing down your goals, dreams, and desires is an important step in that process. It helps to make your goals real. Tangible. The moment they become tangible, they become achievable.

3) Be Discrete - This doesn't mean you have to live your life skulking in the shadows, but rather, once you've listed your dreams and goals - once you've written down your overarching goals, you want to refine your list. Break those goals into granular steps.

Your goals are probably pretty big, and if you think too long and too hard about the goals themselves, you might get a bit intimidated. You can avoid that by simply focusing on the individual tasks involved in moving you closer to your goals, and you'll be shocked at how quickly you make progress!

Why This Works: You've probably heard the saying "don't try to eat the elephant in one bite." There's a lot of truth to that. Any time you want to tackle a big task, the best place to start is to break it into several smaller, discrete tasks and start knocking them out one by one.

4) Force Yourself To Innovate - While the list making and accomplishing small goals in steady progression speaks to the industrious side of the equation, it doesn't do anything to foster creativity. For that, you need to get used to innovating. But how? The simplest way is to test yourself on a regular basis. Every week, for example, give yourself this challenge: "Using only materials you can find within 100 yards of where you are right now, make something that will improve your life or current situation."

Why This Works: When you do this, it forces you to look at the world around you through a different set of eyes. It forces you to improvise, and look at everything around you as an opportunity.

5) One Thing At A Time - Everybody thinks they're great at multitasking, but science has proven that it isn't true. Actually, only 2% of the population is more productive when they multitask. For the rest of us poor shmucks, we're better off focusing on one thing at a time, knocking it out, and moving onto the next thing.

Why This Works: The science is clear. You're about 10% less productive if you try to juggle multiple tasks at once, and your productivity continues to suffer and worsen throughout the course of the day. Keep it simple. One thing at a time.

There's no magic bullet that will automatically pull back the curtain and give you easy access to the wellspring of your potential. It's a process that takes time and effort, but if you approach it as just another problem to be solved, and use the five strategies outlined above as a cohesive whole, you'll find yourself accomplishing more than you ever imagined you could.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Five-Scientifically-Proven-Ways-To-Unleash-Your-Limitless-Potential&id=9616536

Why You're Not Getting Anything Done + What To Do About It

           

Most of us have had that moment during a busy day where we finally stop what we are doing to realize that we have been running wild on a hamster wheel, constantly moving, but not really getting anything done.

It's that feeling you get when you find yourself asking, Man, where did that day go?!Between driving or taking a million subway trips, banal errands, meetings, responding to emails, helping out friends and family, and even social media, every hour of the day is filled. And yet you still feel like you weren't able to accomplish anything "real."

But consider this silly piece of wisdom: "You have just as many hours in the day as Beyoncé.” And then consider that you can replace "Beyoncé" with anyone: The President, The Dalai Lama, Oprah, and/or any other notable figure who inspires you. The point is this that every person on earth is confined to the exact same 24 hour day as you. While it's easy to look with disbelief at the lives of these successful people, it's time to shift our perspective.

In other words, "not having enough time" is a mere idea that we're choosing to believe. By using those extremely successful people in the examples above, we know that we are all capable of making the time and achieving greatness, should we CHOOSE to commit to and prioritize our goals.

Here are five ways to help you be more efficient with your time, and really focus on knocking things off that to do list, leaving you feeling less stressed ... and much more productive.

1. Get cozy with the word "NO."

Why do we have such a hard time saying "no" to people? How did we get to a place where we feel like saying "no" to the things we don't want to do (or don't have time for) is a personal affront to another person?

If saying "yes" to someone else means saying "no" to yourself (and something that you really wanted to do or need to do), than ask yourself, who am I really letting down? This exercise will free up some time and energy for you. I guarantee it.

2. Eliminate energy busters.

Energy busters are those tasks that are low on the enjoyment level or low in priority. Some of these items even show up as things that I feel I “should” be doing but really have no interest in completing.

Start by making a list of all of your tasks over a one week time period and then review and rank all of those tasks on a scale of importance, value and enjoyment. From there, consider what can be eliminated entirely, or be reduced, restructured or outsourced.

3. Work less (yes, that's what I said).

This may sound counter-productive, but simply start working less and take note of the results. If you find that you are constantly putting in 60+ hours per week at work, just stop.

Most companies nowadays have a pretty solid appreciation and understanding for work-life balance and don’t require their employees to put in 10+ hours of overtime each week. It causes burnout and chronic stress, neither of which aid our productivity. Relaxation (through meditation, for example) is actually a powerful mode of ramping up our focus, believe it or not.

And if working less truly isn't an option, speak to your manager to see if there are any ways to re-evaluate your workload.

4. Be honest about how many hours you're wasting on "time-sucks."

"Time-sucks" include tasks such as email and social media. They are those activities that you spend the most unnecessary and unproductive time on.

I used to lose hours upon hours on social media. Now, I set myself twenty minutes in the morning and twenty minutes in the evening on those sites. I also only check email four times per day (morning, before lunch, after lunch and end of the day), and turn off all alerts and notifications.

By restricting my access to both, not only have I magically found additional hours to my day, and people no longer expect me to respond immediately either.

5. Create steady routines and habits you can expect.

Becoming more effective and efficient is like any other new goal that you are trying to create for yourself: it requires intention to making a change, and a commitment to follow-through.

Similar to trying to start a new exercise routine, trying to be more focused in your work involves strategy, creating new habits to help yourself stay on track. 

When I first started working for myself, I realized just how important this was as I suddenly had no structure in my days. So I thought back to my corporate job where I always had a routine to my days, including given times of day for breaks, snacks, a walk around the block and so on. I realized that a focused eight hours is incredibly more productive than distracted 10 hours.

Making these small adjustments to your day will allow you to experience the magic of adding valuable time to your day to help you achieve more of what you truly want to, and reduce stress and unnecessary exhaustion.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18666/why-youre-not-getting-anything-done-what-to-do-about-it.html