Your Feelings Are Important Too!

Many individual mindsets are programmed to sympathize with others suffering unless it is in the extreme by which they may become empathetic.

How many times have you heard the clichéd quote "Do not complain as someone else is living off worse than you" or "Well I have been through worse so you will be fine" or "Find some gratitude as many go without in Africa" etc.

When I hear this approach it breaks my heart because without realizing, that person has completely disregarded the individual's feelings. Naturally our default mode tends to criticise, judge, condemn and worry about the past, the present, the future and events that are not even personally connected to us. By disregarding the individual's feelings this then fuels their default thinking process. It becomes an implanted sentence by which they attack themselves with and lowering what self esteem they have left.

Everyone handles emotions, pains and sees things in different ways, meaning their reaction will differ person to person. Just because you believe you have experienced in your words "darker moments" or "had a harder life" it does not mean that they are not struggling with what they are facing. Again THEY, not you!

We need to stop and listen intently to the sufferer. Not to say dutifully that "it will be fine" as this does not help the sufferer in the present. Saying "its okay" is also not being empathetic but sympathetic. Try to remember your darkest moments. Look for the similarities in the painful emotions triggered and remember the words you wanted to hear.

This is the moment to give love, comfort and give them your time. The moment to share similar experiences so they do not feel alone and even if you do not know say so openly but assure them that you are there for them to lean on.

So today let us focus on being emphatic and stopping the automatic disregard response we do whether intentional or not. Let us offer an open ear, our time and comforting words that you are there by their side. Let them see that what they are feeling and their reaction is completely understandable and they have every right to. From this they can build self love, acceptance and healing.

When we receive sympathetic support we end up disregarding our emotions and instead turn on to ourselves as the enemy and not the sufferer.

Xo Love and Light oX

http://ezinearticles.com/?Your-Feelings-Are-Important-Too!&id=9349398

Synchronicity Made Easy

I'm often asked, "Just what is synchronicity? How does it work?" Well, I'll tell you...

Carl Jung defined synchronicity as "the acausal connection between two or more seemingly unrelated events."

For instance, your boss wants you to put together a presentation on a topic you're not familiar with. That afternoon, you check LinkedIn and see an article on that exact topic, written by an expert in the field. Voila - it's the perfect article to help you get started on your work!

Synchronicity starts with mindsets, which are 'wardrobes' or templates for you to 'try on' and 'wear' so to speak. These mindsets develop in a number of ways. Sometimes you inherit a mindset from your family, sometimes you pick them up from who you go to school with. But just like any wardrobe you have in your closet, even though you're used to them it doesn't mean you can't change them.

A certain type of mindset from the collective unconscious draws people and situations to you → these are the foundation of synchronicity. Here are a few common mindset traps that people tend to fall into. See if you can notice them more consciously in your own life:

• The Life is a struggle mindset
• The I'm so busy mindset
• The I'm better than so and so at _______ mindset
• The Poor me mindset
• The Middle class run kids to endless soccer and have no adult personal identity mindset
• The Collect the most stuff mindset

Now think for a moment... What mindsets do you find yourself wearing? Notice which ones help you and which ones hold you back.

But why does synchronicity work?

Synchronicity works because we are part of a collective unconscious. What you believe draws people and situations to you. Therefore, for synchronicity to flow the best it's important for you to know who you are and what you believe - what defines you.

I encourage you to get clear on what you want in life. That is the key to unleash this flow that will help you create the life of your dreams. With synchronicity, clarity is key!

Sometimes, even when you think you have clarity, synchronicity still doesn't show up... that's usually because two things you desire are in conflict.

If that's something you're struggling with right now, below is a simple exercise to help you visualize a bridge between your two conflicting desires.

When you define what you value, it's easier to connect via synchronicity with the communities you resonate with.

So, a good place to start if synchronicity isn't showing up in your life is to explore who you are, meaning:

• What defines you?
• What is important to you?
• What do you value?

These three questions will help you find clarity and identify a bridge (or two or three!) that can connect any conflicting values you may have. Then, synchronicity will be free to flow into your field effortlessly!

So give this exercise a shot and see what happens!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Synchronicity-Made-Easy&id=9396926

There's Always a Reason

It's been said, over and over again, that there is a reason for everything. Any doubt towards this can be quickly subdued with a quick reflection upon the life that is behind us. The paths that we take, while they may seem to have footprints trampled ahead of us, the reality is, every footprint from a forward step falls on virgin soils.

We may have shared similar experiences, sometimes many, but we have never shared every experience together. So, I ask, what brings you here? Where have your footprints been left? I am eager to hear about your journey and learn why we are crossing paths today, but as I wait to indulge in your fascinating adventure, I will tell you the REASON I am here... today... persevering.

I see a need in this world, a need for trusted guidance, support, motivation, and camaraderie. To hold in a passion to mentor, train, instruct, motivate, and inspire others, without using it to fulfill and enrich the lives of others, seems to be a waste to me. It needs to be freed... it needs to be used... it needs to foster miracles in the souls of those who have given up hope. Those who no longer believe. Those who doubt the chance so much that no amount of effort will be spent pursuing the dream.

This world is full of struggles, trials, and tribulations. This world is filled with strong, tough, determined, and mighty people. Of the 7.4 billion people walking this Earth today, every single one of us has those qualities. The problem is... the power to exert these qualities are retarded by the beliefs and mindsets we possess within our heads.

The reason I am here is to empower. To nurture the strength, the toughness, the determination, and the might out of you. The empowerment to live your life to the fullest; to accomplish feats and experience feelings you never believed possible. You are strong. Just believe it. Your are tough... believe that, too. Determined? Yep... you're that too, that's why our footprints are coming closer together. You are mighty and you are the REASON I am here today.

Let's go for this walk together. Hand in hand. Eye to eye. Heart to heart. Let my words, my actions, my knowledge help you grow. We have to start somewhere... and we are going to start with YOU. Do you think mental, emotional, and physical health and fitness is too far out of reach? Are you struggling (again!) to battle obesity? Is your mind hindering your ability to live a long and healthy life? Do you want the "old you" back again? You can have it. We all just need some help and guidance every now and then.

Does getting help to work on "me" mean I'm weak? Does it mean I am missing the willpower and esteem to make these changes on my own? Nope. The fact you are willing to do something about it, sacrifice control over your inabilities and uncertainties shows your true strength... your own passion and desire.

Now... look over there. Do you see that fresh, undisturbed path of fresh soil... let's make footprints in it.

In the competition of responsibilities in life, we tend to forget about what is most important to our health... us. In a world of confusion and chaos, it can be a lonely journey to optimize your health journey. We can do it together and persevere.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Theres-Always-a-Reason&id=9442986

5 Learnable Mindsets of Highly Successful People

Have you ever wondered how truly successful people like Bill Gates, Richard Branson or Muhammad Ali became successful and continued to excel? I sure have. I’ve always been fascinated by what makes people successful.

This was probably because I wasn’t very successful in school. It wasn’t until I discovered and started applying what I learned from competitive sports, biographies and books by Stephen R. Covey and Tony Robbins that things began to turn around for me.

A lot has happened in the 25 years since I nearly flunked out of school. I’ve read hundreds of personal development books, obtained three psychology degrees, and trialed-and-errored my way through my own personal-development journey.

As a psychologist, I’ve assessed and treated everyone from hardened criminals to anxious executives. I now work with athletes, executives, academics and entrepreneurs to help develop their personal and professional potential.

Throughout the last 25 years, I’ve discovered five (learnable) mindsets that set apart the achievers from the rest of the world:

1. Successful people know and accept themselves.

They know their strengths and weaknesses. They accept themselves for who they are and work with or around what they are given.

Think of people like Bill Gates or J.K. Rowling. They accept and work with their introverted personalities. They don’t try to be something they aren’t. If they’d spent their lives fighting against their introversion, we likely wouldn’t be enjoying the fruits of their labors today.

2. Successful people set goals congruent with their personality, values, interests, strengths, skills, mission and purpose.

Not based on their immediate urges, moods or circumstances.

Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Steve Jobs, Nelson Mandela and Oskar Schindler all lived their lives based on who they really were, what they valued, what they were good at and what they realized their mission was. Some of them paid dearly for pursuing their path. But I doubt that any of them would have had it any other way. Friedrich Nietzsche aptly said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”1

3. Successful people know they have much more control over the trajectory of their lives than others realize.

At the same time, they know that even though they are steering their ship, they can only control themselves. They understand and accept that they can’t control what the world throws in their path, but they can control how they react to those obstacles. They know that they can anticipate and act before the world acts upon them. They know that if they keep pushing forward they will eventually reach their destination.

4. Successful people accept that they will repeatedly go through tough times.

Tough times are par for the course for those who do big things. They know that’s how the world works and don’t fight or complain about it. Without difficult times and failures, there is no learning, no growth. They know that nothing worth achieving comes without a struggle. They know there’s a difference between suffering and struggling.

The Dalai Lama wrote, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” Successful people struggle and feel pain, but don’t suffer because they are living their lives and pursuing goals that are in line with who they are, what they value, and what they believe to be their purpose or mission. To them, it is worth it.

5. Successful people know that once they get to their destination, they will find another.

Because of this, they accept and enjoy the struggle, for they know that the journey is the destination.

To achieve these learnable mindsets, start with these five tips:

• Learn as much as you can about yourself.

Learn more about your personality, values, interests, strengths and skills. In my new book, ACHIEVE: Find Out Who You Are, What You Really Want, And How To Make It Happen, I offer tips for figuring out your personality and applying that to achieving more in your life.

• Make smart decisions.

Big and small decisions should be made based on what’s really important to you and your purpose, not on what the situation pulls you toward or based on your mood.

• Act within your control.

Control the only thing you can control: yourself. Don’t be a victim to life. Push forward and act before life acts upon you.

• Reframe setbacks and failures.

Depending on your interpretation, they can destroy or improve you. See setbacks as opportunities for growth and improvement.

• Be stingy with your time.

Make sure you’re spending your time on something that is worth it. Realize you only have one life to live, so enjoy the journey.

Too many people live below their potential. Don’t let one of them be you.

http://www.success.com/blog/5-learnable-mindsets-of-highly-successful-people

Your Feelings Are Important Too!

Many individual mindsets are programmed to sympathize with others suffering unless it is in the extreme by which they may become empathetic.

How many times have you heard the clichéd quote "Do not complain as someone else is living off worse than you" or "Well I have been through worse so you will be fine" or "Find some gratitude as many go without in Africa" etc.

When I hear this approach it breaks my heart because without realizing, that person has completely disregarded the individual's feelings. Naturally our default mode tends to criticise, judge, condemn and worry about the past, the present, the future and events that are not even personally connected to us. By disregarding the individual's feelings then fuels their default thinking process. It becomes an implanted sentence by which they attack themselves with and lowering what self esteem they have left.

Everyone handles emotions, pains and sees things in different ways, meaning their reaction will differ person to person. Just because you believe you have experienced in your words "darker moments" or "had a harder life" does not mean that they are not struggling with what they are facing. Again THEY, not you!

We need to stop and listen intently to the sufferer. Not to say dutifully that "it will be fine" as this does not help the sufferer in the present. Saying "its okay" is also not being empathetic but sympathetic. Try to remember your darkest moments. Look for the similarities in the painful emotions triggered and remember the words you wanted to hear.

This is the moment to give love, comfort and give them your time. The moment to share similar experiences so they do not feel alone and even if you do not know, say so openly but assure them that you are there for them to lean on.

So today let us focus on being emphatic and stopping the automatic disregard response we do, whether intentional or not. Let us offer an open ear, our time and comforting words that you are there by their side. Let them see that what they are feeling and their reaction is completely understandable and they have every right to. From this they can build self love, acceptance and healing.

When we receive sympathetic support we end up disregarding our emotions and instead turn on to ourselves as the enemy and not the sufferer.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Your-Feelings-Are-Important-Too!&id=9349398

How to Master Your Inner Game

You have an idea that is going to knock it out of the park. Your creativity and excitement abound, and there is no ceiling on the possibilities and opportunities. You are truly a legend in your own mind -- sound familiar? You are an entrepreneur. And unlike everyone else with a million-dollar idea, you represent the less than one-tenth of 1 percent who actually had the guts to walk onto the playing field suited up to play.

The whistle blows and the game is on. In time, you come to realize that the prospects of money, prestige and wealth become secondary. This journey of entrepreneurship is more about who you are and who you want to become than anything else.  As an entrepreneur, every day presents you with an opportunity to either grow or quit. And by the way, more than 82 percent, according to the Small Business Administration, either quit or fail within 36 months.

So why do you do it?  Why suffer the intimidating odds? Surely there are other ways to make money, right? Here is why. If you look deep inside, you will admit that entrepreneurship is not so much of a business development journey as it is a personal development journey. You are an entrepreneur for the same reason some climb the highest mountains -- not for the view, but because it is a test of who you are and who you can become day in and day out.

After 25-plus years as an entrepreneur and teacher of entrepreneurs, I can tell you that the inner game of entrepreneurship is where the game is won or lost. How you deal with adversity, dubious partners, having to reinvent you and your business, floods of money and no money is more about how you talk to yourself than just about anything else. It’s about how you manage the little voices in your head, your emotions and maintain the positive but realistic energy you need to keep going, persist and prevail.

This may come as a shock to some, but I have found that the biggest gains and leaps in business result from focusing on the mindsets or thought processes of the people involved -- getting them to master their little voices or self-talk, not on skills or strategies. I have seen sales teams sell more in 30 minutes than they have done in a month when their mindset is right and when leadership focuses team members on their inner game.

You see, nearly everyone believes there is a bigger and better person inside of them. Technology levels most playing fields. Capital gives you a head start. But entrepreneurs who tap into the hearts, minds and souls of their teams and themselves to bring out everyone’s best ultimately win.

So how do you do that with your team? Here is an example. In sales, one of the biggest little voice issues is confidence and self-doubt. The seed of doubt can be the difference between winning and losing. Simple objection handling practice sessions that focus less on technique and mostly on standing in the heat have proven to remove doubt, raise confidence, double call rates and significantly close more deals -- even for the most seasoned salespeople.

But it is even more important for you as the leader to manage your inner game. Did you ever think that the limits or barriers on your business are a result of your own mental or emotional limitations? Of course they are. Fortunately, there are many strategies to work on this.

Inner game problem

One of my coaches is Mack Newton. Besides Deon Sanders, he is the only person to have both a Super Bowl and World Series ring. He was conditioning coach for the Dallas Cowboys, Oakland A’s and many other teams and superstar players. He says it well: “Your results can never exceed your self-concept.” Whether with skilled athletes or hard working entrepreneurs, your results are limited by your view of yourself and by your self-esteem.

Subtle but pervasive thoughts, like not being smart enough, experienced enough, skilled enough, old enough (too old!), good enough in sales or whatever, can put a limit on your results no matter how hard you work. So you need to have a method of replacing those thoughts when they come up. 

Inner game exercise

A simple series of positive affirmations can help. 

Before giving a talk, making a call, approaching investors or putting your team through a difficult process, repeat a few affirmations to yourself to override the doubt. Here are some examples: “I am an honest and responsible business owner," “I am a gifted leader," “I add value to people’s lives," and, “I like myself." You can create your own. Repeat them out loud at least five times when your little voice barges in, and you will find that it shifts your self-talk, attitude and energy. 

Many entrepreneurs subconsciously put limits on their businesses and results because, deep inside, they may feel they don’t deserve or haven’t earned success, or they’re afraid of looking bad in front of others. These thoughts could be from a disaster in the past or the harsh critique from others. If you are not careful, your self-limiting thoughts could negatively affect what you are attempting to accomplish. To master your inner game, you must learn to master your little voice.

The distance between you and where you want to be may not be years away. It could be one simple conscious or unconscious thought that, once shifted, unlocks a floodgate to wealth and success. Remember that your inner game always dictates what shows up in your outside world.

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/253019

7 Mindsets That Will Radically Improve Your Life Right Now

Your mindset is as important as your best idea. Develop a good one, and you make everything in your life better immediately.

Possibly more than any other single factor, your mindset determines your success.

What you think is what you become.

Internal dialogue--the ongoing conversation we all have with our mindset--is the driving force behind every success story, and also behind every failure.

The difference between who you are and who you want to be stems from your mindset. Once you start to change your mindset, you will immediately start to change your behavior.

Here are seven mindsets that will radically improve your business and your life.

1. Self-trust mindset.

To do anything great, you have to be able to trust yourself and believe in your capabilities. Success is not something that just happens but something you create. You have to have the confidence to banish any negative voices in your head. Don't give up on the things you believe in--and most important, don't give up on yourself.

2. Goal-setting mindset.

Knowing what you want and willing yourself to reach it are two different things. When you know your goals, they motivate you. Remember, if it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you. Set high goals and don't stop until you reach them.

3. Patient mindset.

There's a fine line between moving forward and standing still. The most successful people do all they can to move forward, but they also have the patience to wait and watch. Those who are impatient tend to lose out on great opportunities. Sometimes you have to wait for the right thing.

4. Courageous mindset.

Doing anything great requires courage, but fear always has a way of showing up. Courage does not mean being unafraid; having courage and showing courage means facing your fears, saying "I am scared and I am moving forward anyway." Courage is like a muscle you can strengthen with use.

5. Focused mindset.

One of the worst setbacks that can happen is losing focus and allowing procrastination to step in. Important as it is, it's difficult to be focused and disciplined. The best way is to stay in the here and now and to concentrate on everything going on in this particular moment. Distraction wastes time, and procrastination keeps you from moving forward. Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment, and a mindset of focus builds that bridge.

6. Positive mindset.

Choosing to be positive and having a good attitude will determine a lot about your life. If you set your mind to positivity it can go a long way. Be positive, not passive. Instead of giving yourself reasons why you can't or shouldn't, give yourself reasons why you can and permission to go for it. Happiness doesn't come from circumstances but always from within.

7. Learning mindset.

Just because you are struggling, that doesn't mean you're not learning. Every failure has something to teach you, and everything you learn helps you grow. If you are unwilling to learn, no one can help you; if you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.

Every great success requires some kind of struggle, and good things really do come to those who work hard and struggle to pursue their goals and dreams they believe in. To radically change your life, you have to change yourself. Start building your new mindset today--think the thoughts that will help you move toward your goals right now.

http://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/7-mindsets-that-will-radically-improve-your-life-right-now.html

A Few Ways to Reduce Negative Thoughts

It's very easy to think the worse of any situation. Even when something positive does occur, someone is sure to point out something negative. For example, you and your family bought a new car. This car is going to help the family with transportation needs and make sure safe travels. However, someone will come along and negatively mention the fact you now have a monthly car note, maintenance repairs that can happen, tires that might go flat, etc. For some, these may sound like bothersome issues but for others they understood the first responsibilities when they first purchased the vehicle so it doesn't bother them.

In life, we have the freedom of choice. This freedom of choice also involves how we think. We can certainly see a situation as being overwhelming and emotional or we can see the situation as a teaching opportunity and gain better understanding. It is perfectly normal to have some first negative thoughts and doubts about situations. However, the goal is to learn how to not allow those negative thoughts and doubts to linger in your mind.

What are some ways to reduce negative thoughts?

Gain a broader perspective

Sometimes being narrow-minded can cause negative thoughts to develop. This also includes being stereotypical. We may find ourselves saying something negative just because someone else said it or we see something depicted without having full understanding of what we saw. For example, some may believe that Africa is just full of jungles, wild animals, and starving sick children. This is normally because they've only seen movies and/or television commercials depicting these images of Africa. However, Africa also has major cities and tall buildings with healthy people. We have to broaden our perspective. This may require reading and/or travelling more to discover the truth for ourselves.

Realize storms don't last always

When the hard times of life begin, it even harder not to get overwhelmed with emotions. Life has different seasons and some seasons are tough. Some tough seasons last longer than expected. However, we must remember that seasons change. It's tough now but later it won't be as tough. We shouldn't allow the tough season to make us dwell in negativity. We must recognize that even in the tough season as long as we can see the next day, the change is going to come!

Think more on the pure things of life

We all have ways to relax and unwind. This can be reading a book, watching a favorite movie, going to the pool, etc. These activities normally doesn't produce negative thoughts to come to mind. This is because as we relax and unwind, our mind also begins to relax and unwind. Our mind begins to focus on the pure things of life, e.g. peace, relaxation, joy, etc. When a negative thought comes to mind, we should instantly try thinking of something pure and simple. It can be as simple as thinking about your favorite book, envisioning your last vacation, remembering the scent of your favorite flower or perfume, etc. This shifts our mindset and once the negative thought is gone, we shouldn't try to recapture it. Eventually, with more practice, the negative thoughts will be less frequent and you can enjoy the more pleasant things in life!

http://ezinearticles.com/?A-Few-Ways-to-Reduce-Negative-Thoughts&id=9085927